My muse simply insists that I develop this tale. There will probably be five or so parts, and at extremely random intervals. But there's a solid tale there, and I have to write it. Enjoy.
by Penny Lane
Chapter 2
Pling Plong.
Dave groaned and forced one eye open. He had fallen asleep on the couch again, his head at a painful angle to the rest of his body. In the corner the television flickered and danced with some daytime quiz program he'd never seen before. He was lying at a low angle, obviously having fallen over as he drifted off. He attempted to straighten up, wincing as his neck assumed its proper orientation. The weights on his chest moved alarmingly, travelling around of their own accord as he sat up, finally assuming their normal hanging position. He yawned.
Disclaimer: The original characters and plot of this story are the property
of the author. No infringement of pre-existing copyright is intended. This
story is copyright (c) 2011 Penny Lane. All rights reserved.
Pling Plong.
The door. Wincing again as he stood, he picked up the remote, hit standby and dropped it on the table as he staggered towards the front door.
"Who is it?"
"Diane with your food."
"Oh."
Dave pulled open the door to find two young women standing in front of him, both holding supermarket carrier bags.
"Uh, come in."
He tried to rub his face, to wake himself up, but decided it looked off-putting. He followed the two into the tiny kitchen.
"Here you go," Diane said, putting the bags on the table before handing him the receipt. "Shall I put them away for you? Oh! Silly me, this is Debra, who I told you about the other day. Debra, Dave."
Dave looked from one to the other. Debra was a little younger than Diane, he guessed. She had blonde hair that almost reached her shoulders, with some auburn highlights in the current fashion. Her face was delicate and heavily made up. She was taller than Diane but still wasn't as tall as himself, which meant that she was about five feet six or so. Both women were dressed in hooded tops, fashion jeans and trainers in an assortment of colours.
"Hello."
The two stared at each other with unrestrained curiosity, Dave because she was a type of person he had never known existed, Debra because she had heard about Dave's problem and wanted to help.
"Hello. You look like a girl to me," he said. "You don't look like you could ever have been a boy."
"Thank you," she replied. "That's kind of what I've been aiming for. I can assure you, though, that I'm just as much a man as you are, underneath these clothes."
"Really?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Leave it, you two," Diane said. "Let's get this stuff put away and then we can sit and talk."
"Right."
"I got you these," she said, pulling a meat pack out of a bag. "The ones you asked for didn't look too good and the date was almost up. They were doing these on special offer, so I got two and I'm taking one home with me. We'll split the price, that all right?"
"Yeah, fine. You carry on, Diane, I'll get the kettle on."
With the two girls on the couch and Dave facing them in an easy chair, teas in front of them on a small table, he started asking questions.
"So, what's your story then, Debra?"
"I was about eleven when these started popping out," she said, covering a breast with each hand. "I was hauled off to the quack pretty quick once my mum found out. Nobody could work out why and they wanted to put me on all kinds of strong drugs to stop them but I didn't want to do that. Seemed to me if nobody knew why they were developing any treatment could just make the situation worse rather than better."
Dave nodded. "That's what my doctor says as well, as it happens."
"Well, so they pointed out that if I grew breasts I'd get all kinds of stick at school and what did I think I wanted to do about it? I told them I didn't really identify as a boy anyhow so it didn't matter to me which side of the school I went in. Then I got asked if I wanted to be a girl and I said not exactly." She rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't believe the number of psychologists I saw! It was ridiculous, and they all came to different conclusions. In the end I told them I wasn't going to even think about surgery till I was eighteen, and I'd keep everything I had." She rolled her eyes again. "Cue more psychologists, lawyers and even Social Services got into the act! Tried to make out my parents wanted to turn me into the Bearded Lady or something out of a freak show." A rebellious grin. "We saw them off eventually, I went to school as a girl - with special provisions for PE, naturally - and here I am."
"So... do they know what it was, then?"
"Not at first. Last year with the modern scanners they found a tumour on my pineal gland. It was extremely small which may be why they didn't spot it before, though I think they weren't looking that hard anyway. I had a keyhole op about a year ago and it all seems to have cleared up now, although I'll have to keep popping pills for a long time."
Dave nodded. "So, that's why you look so female, then. You never properly developed as a man, is that right?"
Debra wrinkled her nose. "Sort of. I did start growing some facial hair, but I've had that taken care of now. Seems my body produces both Testosterone and Oestrogen but because I wanted to present as female some of those pills stop the male hormones from doing too much damage. According to one specialist I've seen recently I'm still fertile, though. I could still father children if I really cared to. What's your story, then?"
"Yeah." Dave drank some more tea before he spoke. "I worked for a small business making short runs of plastic items. One of the chemicals we used wasn't mixed right and me and the two I worked with got contaminated." His face grew grim. "One of them jumped off the footbridge over the bypass."
"Oh! Was that - Ah! So you're one of those. Oh, you poor man. What are you going to do?"
"Dunno. I think I'm too much of a coward to top myself like Brian did, though apparently if you get too depressed it gets easier to think of such things. And I am depressed, clinically so according to the doctors. They won't let me do anything about these," he pointed, "for a while yet until things stabilise. They've taken samples of the chemicals, but they really haven't got a clue what effect they'll have on my body. Apart from the obvious."
"Are you thinking about having them off?" Debra's expression was of distaste.
"I didn't know there was an alternative. Not till Diane here told me about you." Dave made his own expression of distaste. "I'm not so sure I want to get rid of them, actually. They're part of me now, aren't they? But, I've been wondering, how can I live, part man and part woman? I'm a bloke, I don't think I want to go over to the other side, as it were. Not all the way, that is. I like the idea of surgery about as much as you seem to."
"It's possible," Debra admitted. "I've been doing it, which is why you wanted to talk to me, right?" She leaned forwards, her elbows on her knees. "It'll be very hard for you, if you decide that's what you want to do. I was able to grow up as a girl, with girlfriends and so on, and although most of the others in the school knew who or what I was most treated me just as another schoolgirl. Which was just the way I wanted it. But you, you're how old?"
"Thirty-one."
"So, you've had that long to build up male habits and ideas. Now, if you want to live with those on your chest, you'll have to present as one of - as a woman, since the whole world thinks that if you have those you must be a woman. That means ripping out your entire wardrobe and starting from scratch, for one thing. That means learning a whole new way of walking, talking and thinking. That means having men treat you a completely different way, sometimes to your advantage, quite often to your disadvantage. Do you understand that?"
"Some of it." A wry smile. "I've had plenty of time to be alone with my thoughts." He hesitated. "Do you really think I could pull it off?"
"Physically?" Debra cocked her head, examining his face. "I think so. You don't look classically male, like say a boxer or a rugby player, you're like a lot of men, just enough definition so's that someone else can clock you at a glance. Your shoulders?" She shrugged her own. "A bit wide, but then girls who swim or play tennis have wide shoulders, so it's not the end of the world. What about your hips? Can I ask you to stand a moment?"
Dave clambered to his feet.
"Could be worse," Debra said. She snickered. "Actually, I've seen worse, much worse. Of course there's also your legs, but I don't think I'll ask you to drop your trousers, the neighbours will talk."
Dave's lips twisted in a rare smile as he sat down again. "Where have you seen worse, then?"
"Oh, there's a club I sometimes go to for cross-dressers and transgender folk, they have a meeting once a month over a pub down Smitton way. Some of the things you see there definitely shouldn't be seen on the streets, I tell you. If you wish, I'll ask the secretary to get in touch with you, they have lots of support for people, mainly men of course, who either like wearing the other kind of clothing or who wish they were the other gender, and everything in between."
"Hm." Dave pondered for a little while. This was definitely getting into uncharted waters, and he wasn't sure he wanted to move quite that fast. "I think I'm going to need to take things slowly, if you don't mind. But leave the contact details, they might be useful one day."
"You might want to take things slowly," Debra pointed out, "but you have those things on your chest and I think you'll have to make up your mind what to do about them fairly soon. You can't ignore them, and I'm sure the moment you walk out that front door no-one else is going to ignore them either. That's why I would ask you to think seriously about... coming over to the other side, as it were. Then you can hide them in plain sight, while you go about your life in a reasonably normal fashion. After all half the world has those, and there is a life out there waiting for you presenting as a woman. It won't be the same as what's gone before, but whatever you decide your life has been changed, hasn't it?"
Dave nodded reluctantly. "I suppose you're right. I'll give this... chap? woman? a call, all right? What I really need is more information, I need to know what I'm getting myself into. Until a couple of weeks ago I didn't know any of this existed outside a Sunday newspaper. And you know how much of them is the unvarnished truth."
Debra cocked her head again. "I think we can do this slowly," she said. "You don't have to go all frilly dresses and stiletto heels, you know. That's just what the newspapers think. Most women are like us, dress down while we're doing normal things." She swept her hands down her body. "The right sort of shoes, a pair of jeans and some tops and I bet you could walk out of here and nobody would give you a second glance. Just take it easy, it'll take you a while to learn the ropes anyway."
"Do you really think so? It seems like such an alien world to me."
Debra grinned. "The one thing about women that's different to men is that we support each other, that right, Diane? You've already got two friends to help you get through this. If you want us to, and if you want to do it. What do you say?"
Dave pondered. "So what you're saying is, I have two real choices. Chop them off," there were two agonised glances from the women. "Sorry. Um, do that or, what did you call it? 'Present' as a woman."
"Not quite true," Diane said. "You could carry on as you have been, binding them up and wearing baggy clothes."
Dave shook his head. "That would just be delaying the decision. While I can do apathy as well as the next man - or woman - it doesn't solve anything in this case, does it? I think I'm going to say, what the hell, let's give it a go. If it doesn't work, I can always go back to the other option."
Both women flinched again.
"Sorry."
"If there's one thing you ought to do, and soon," Debra said, "it's to get some proper support for them, whatever you decide. Look at how you're sitting."
Dave looked down, and discovered he had folded his arms under them, as he nearly always did these days.
"What you need," Debra continued, "is a proper bra properly fitted. Will you let us help you?"
Dave flushed. "You mean, go out to a shop and have someone look at my -"
"Yes, of course. That's what they are there for. They won't get too many men in the bra department, it's true, but they do get trans folk and cross-dressers, and they treat them just as they would treat a woman customer. That's the critical word, remember, customer. You'll be a punter handing over folding money for goods, so they'll serve you all right. And if one or both of us comes with you we'll make sure you get something that fits you properly. You don't have to go for some lacy little thing, you just want a plain bra that does the job."
Dave looked down at his chest, at the bulges supported by his folded arms. It would be nice, he mused, not to have them flopping around as he moved, and to have some of the weight taken off his chest. They had got well beyond the 'jiggle' size and now were like small bags of flour glued painfully to his skin. Some control was definitely indicated, some support was definitely required.
"Look at it this way," Diane added, "you don't have to wear the things in public if you don't want to. But you'll be spending much of your time in here, where you can wear whatever you like, and if a bra makes you feel more comfortable, why not wear one?"
"You've almost convinced me," he said. "But -" He lapsed into silence. Perhaps it was a step too far at the moment.
"Do you think," Debra asked diffidently, "that I, we, might see them? Don't feel any obligation, but up till now we've just been talking about something that's more or less been hinted at."
Dave stared at her. What a thing to ask!
"Dave," Diane said, "don't forget, we've both got them, and you'll have to get them out if you have a bra fitted. You'll be showing us things we've seen in changing rooms every time we've bought something. Really, it shouldn't be a problem."
"In fact, it's something you'll have to get used to," added Debra, "if you wish to go ahead."
Dave's shoulders slumped, and then he realised that he was making a fuss over very little. Slowly he pulled up his sweatshirt and then his vest, exposing his chest for both women to see.
"Oh my God!" Diane said. "I think that's the first time I've ever had breast envy for what's on a man's chest!"
"Gosh," Debra said. "They're a bit further along than I expected. They're a nice-looking pair, Dave. You really need to get some bras."
Dave pulled his clothes down and made himself tidy again. Part of him thought he was being rushed into a decision, part of him understood that it was a decision that could be reversed any time if things didn't work out. Finally, he took a deep breath.
"Let's do it."
Comments
Oh this could be such a good series:)
Please tell me you're going to do more of this story. I liked this very much. The event happening with the older perspective really sets a different feel to the story. More please if your muse would be so gracious:)
*Big Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
This one is tricky
The problem for me is, my mind keeps trying to figure out what is going to happen next... not in an immediate way, like with most of my story writing, but it's so damned insistent...
So I have decided to try and "drain" it out of my brain, in order to concentrate on what's supposed to be happening in Palarand. At least once it's out, I don't have it distracting me all the time (until the next chapter pops up).
It could be an interesting story, for a number of reasons. First, Dave is most definitely not transgender, unlike Debra, he just has these two... growths on his chest. So the story is about how he copes with what to him is an unexpected and potentially unwanted change in his circumstances. I think. It's also about help coming from unexpected places.
I think I'd lie if I said I had it all worked out. I more or less have an outline about what happens next, and you'd have to be dense if you can't work it out for yourself. But, it's going on the back burner for a while. Real Life is about to suck away all of my time for a week or so.
I'm pleased you enjoyed it.
Penny
Are Those Yours? -2-
What female name will Dave choose?
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
dunno... Davina?
dunno... Davina?
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
Oh... another chapter to
Oh... another chapter to this story...
He'll have a rather hard time adapting, except those chemicals did something to his brain too.
Thank you for writing this interesting story,
Beyogi
"Let's do it."
I look forward to his adventures in girl land.
Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels
Intergenderism.
Yep; the hairy old chestnut;
Are you a boy or a girl?
Truth is I don't know and I've stopped caring. I go out whichever way the mood takes me and 'bugger the rest of the world' if they don't understand.
I like this story especially the childhood expreiences with doctors. I consider them to be twats but that's my 'white coat phobia' talking.
Good story.
XZXX
Bev.
Growing Old Disgracefully
Boy or Girl?
My answer to this must be an unqualified Yes!
Now, about those unimportant, fiddly little details...
Penny
You did it again.
Penny, you have a real knack for getting a story going and this one is no exception.
Need I say more?
Maggie
Stories
Getting a story going is reasonably easy, if I say it myself.
The tough part is finishing the things, as many who publish here have found to their cost. Or, in my case, filling the gap between the start and the end.
Penny
I winced too
... when Dave talked about chopping them off, something I had wanted since I was very young. Oh the very thought *shiver*
Well if Dave is not transgender than that is a bit of an odd attitude about opting not to have them removed as most F->Ms do and a lot of gynecomastic men would want.
Dave is a curious person.
Kim
Odd attitude
Maybe.
I suppose it depends on how 'masculine' Dave was earlier in life. If he was "all mouth and trousers" then he'd want to get shot of the things as soon as possible. On the other hand, if he's just a normal guy, not brought up to hold an aggressively male viewpoint, then perhaps he might not be so bothered. We don't know, since he hasn't told us his back story.
Remember, he's also depressed, so that's going to decrease his motivation to get almost anything done. And there are many, many people who have odd growths on their bodies, usually benign, who live with them for significant portions of their lives. It's not until recent years that "cosmetic" surgery has become cheap enough that the average working man would even think of it (women, of course, have a different viewpoint).
There's another factor, since we don't know what else these chemicals might have done to him. It's entirely possible there are mental effects as well as physical. Perhaps one day my muse will see fit to tell me.
Penny
PS Ha! No, he wasn't talking about having those chopped off, he was talking about those.
No, there are probably
No, there are probably enough men out there that are secure enough in themselves that they don't have to go for expensive, unnecessary surgeries just to try to 'conform'.
I'm male, but if I woke up tomorrow as a woman, I wouldn't be panicking. Why? Because my self identity isn't tied up in my body. I'm a strange duck. "Hmm. Tits. Okay, whatever. Do I have anything to wear?"
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
Lol... You know it can be
Lol... You know it can be rather hard, when society really starts to pressure you to conform. I guess it doesn't get worse than high school, but still...
I wonder what my reaction would be... Wow tits, need to check out, did my identity card change too? No -> need to supress panic, Yes -> cool -> check out if some girl stuff miraculously spawned -> check out if I got girl skills, do I have anything to wear.
I guess it could be fun, but it would heavily depend on what the transformation contains :D
Hah! My family is almost
Hah! My family is almost the ultimate in non-conformists. I mean, I was the one that wore deely-boppers to school at least once. That is, high school, at age 17-18.. And the teachers didn't even blink or tell me to take them off.
Does that tell you about my need to conform? :)
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
Ah, but
...you were a teenager then, and everybody knows teenagers do things that don't conform to the rules.
I have always done needlework, mostly as a result of my mother doing it, and I made a number of garments while a teenager (not all of them I told anyone else about, naturally). I did make my own school blazers, three of them. The last one was different. I was the only boy in a school of 600 with a white blazer. They made me take it off for the school photos.
Penny
No, if you ask my teachers,
No, if you ask my teachers, they'd agree it was just me :)
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
I'd like to see more please Penny
This one reminds me of a similar story, has it been ressurected?
Looking forward to your next posting, thankyou.
LoL
Rita
I'm a dyslexic agnostic insomniac.
'Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog.'
Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)
LoL
Rita
Resurrected?
A similar story, you say?
Firstly, I didn't think this was a Zombie story, and...
Secondly, this was originally a little one-off my muse came up with a while ago. Unfortunately, she won't let go of it, so I was forced to add this and I'm working away on chapter three when I should be doing Somewhere Else Entirely instead. Them's the breaks...
Penny
Eh, you're writing. Just
Eh, you're writing. Just because it's not "The State Does Not Make Mistakes"..... :)
Besides, if you didn't know you were writing a zombie story, how did it become one?
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
Other stories I may have wrote
You know what they say the road to hell is paved with?
One day, I tell myself, I will get down the final few chapters I had intended to tidy up The State does Not Make Mistakes with. I really dislike leaving things unfinished.
Don't hold your breath.
Penny
This is a great story.
This is a great story. Please keep it going for a long, long time.
Alright!!!
I'm so happy to see you continuing on with this. It's like finishing off a container of ice cream, and then finding that there's another one in the freezer.
The girl in me...
She's always there and usually in charge.
For some It's an umitigated disater...
While for others it's just a fact of life. In Dave's case, since he seems to have no transgender leanings, I guess it will be adaptation to the inevitable.
It will be interesting to see how this and Dave develops.
Ole
We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!
Gender rights are the new civil rights!
Uncomfortable
New territory, new ideas, and a new way of doing things came make many hesitant to step into a new roll.
Dave's main concern is how others will perceive him if he steps through the looking glass. He needs Debra and Diane for not only woman lessons, but to help him gain courage to trust his changing image.
Not wanting to lose his image being a man would cause his depression. But a thought of ending up in a dark alley badly beaten up runs right along with his loss.
Others have feelings too.