Chapter 1: Prologue
(This chapter will be only the biggest things that happened in my past, along with an introduction from the main character)

Have you ever heard the saying "Just because you go through a lot of pain, doesen't mean everyone else's pain is void"? I can't begin to tell you how many times I have wanted to repeat that quote to others. My name is Xavier Williams, or at least it used to be. Now my name is Seraphina Williams, like the name? I picked it myself, but I am getting off track. This is a story of my life, the hurdles I jumped, the rocks I tripped over and the cakes I ate (if you get what I am trying to say). Regardless of whether you get it or not, let's get to the story shall we?

March 12th, 2007
As me and my cousin along with my aunt walked into the store, you could practically see the aura of discomfort radiating off him. Being a boy, he didn't take too kindly to being in a woman's clothing store, of course I was still young, 7 years old, I didn't really understand what was so bad about it. It was almost instantaneous that my cousin started making his famous complaints "Can we leave now? This is embarrassing!". My aunt stopped looking at the beautiful blouse to respond to him "No, not yet, please go sit down and wait on me over there" she said while pointing to a small section of the store dedicated to chairs. Frustrated, my cousin agreed and left to pout and play his small game console. I was left all alone, standing there, and while I was standing there, I noticed a very pretty row of dresses and couldn't help but wonder "Would those look good on me? They look so cute." So then, I started making plans to "accidentally" trip and fall into the dresses and get stuck in one. By the time I had it all figured out, it was apparently time to go. In the end, I never got to put my plan to work, but this was a defining moment in my life nevertheless.

2008-2010
As I grew those next two years, I started to learn the difference between boys and girls (which for some reason was completely oblivious to me before despite my knowing that I wasn't supposed to wear dresses for some reason) and as time went on, I started getting sad and eventually, it turned into praying every night to God to help me become a girl. Some nights I cried myself to sleep, and the night I remember most sticks into my head until this day. I was just praying one night, and suddenly burst into tears saying these exact words "Do you hate me god? Why would you put me through this pain? I'm always good, I'm not mean to my parents like the other kids at school. I do my homework, I make good grades, I don't litter or anything bad! So why? Why won't you help me become me?" With that finally said, I cried for about 30 more minutes, and finally drifted off to sleep with a tear stained face.

2010
I remember that I had finally built up enough courage to tell my mom that I wanted to be a girl, it had been hard for me, I felt like I was crazy and she would put me in a mental asylum, but I did tell her. The first time, I could easily tell she didn't take me seriously. With a smile she said "Do you want me to buy you a dress?" Embarrassed, I ended up chickening out and saying a not so convincing "Never mind" a few times after that, she caught me looking up "How to become a girl" on the Internet. I had tried many things ranging from supposed spells, mind tricks and was even thinking of secretly buying some kind of sex change pill, but I had no luck. The final time she had caught me, we were leaving her doctors office, and once we got in the car, she started crying. "Please just tell me, do you want to be a girl or not?" She said with a plead and a little something else I couldn't recognize at the time in her voice. To which I replied "No". After that, I didn't bring it up again for a very long time.

January 25th, 2012
By this time, I was still upset and my emotions were filling to the brim, but living life as well as a 7th grader could. The only thing bothering me was my supposed "friend", we would play video games together, and since I was incredibly sensitive (which is something I know I failed to mention before) he took advantage of me, getting me to do all kinds of things for him, whether I wanted to or not. Either way, his bullying has been going on for a year at this point. Until this very day, all my emotions had been bottled up the depressing from my gender dysphoria, my fear of my "friend", my increasing difficulty with grades, but on this day, I snapped... One insult from my "friend" set me off, I yelled at the top of my lungs for him to "shut the freak up" in the middle of the gym and had a mental breakdown. I was on the brink of crying and I was so angry I was visibly shaking. After that day, I honestly don't think I was ever the same person again. I used to be outgoing and always excited, after that, I was silent and never showed the least bit of emotion again.

I know I might not have the most tragic or exciting of backstories, but I want to remind you of the quote I mentioned at the very beginning, just in different words. "Even if your problem is bigger than mine and serves you more pain, it doesen't make my pain nonexistent."