Novel 1 Chapter 12

On the Tuesday Afternoon, as agreed, Ellie left work early to collect her dad and child preparatory to visiting the Speedwell that was docked and currently discharging at the container berth further down the quay from Beverly’s office. Beverly had also left to collect her brood from school and they briefly confirmed the arrangements for meeting back at the ship that evening. Ellie picked Callum up from school as pre-arranged and then collected her dad from their cottage. While Callum was changing out of school uniform Ellie briefed her dad.

“Don’t bring up any issues to do with transgenderism or she will twig that I’ve been talking about it. She might in all probability open the subject herself. She will be bringing her adopted children and two of those kids are transgendered so they’ll most probably want to talk to Callista about her feelings and plans. Transgendered kids get very close to each other and there are good reasons why. If Beverly does mention it then you’re at liberty to discuss it of course.”

Her father nodded patiently for he could see his only daughter was thoroughly stressed out.

“I only wish your mum could have been here. I’m sure she would have shown the utmost compassion towards this woman.”

“Thanks daddy, that’s good, just keep remembering she’s a woman and you’ll do fine. It won’t be hard anyway, when you meet her you’ll understand why.”

“Is she pretty then, you know; does she pass?”

“Yes and yes. She’s very attractive considering she’s in her early sixties. She’s only slightly above average height for a woman and quite slender. Ah, here comes the chief guest. Are you ready darling?”

Callista entered with a pair of robust yet pretty, pale blue, suede boots in her hand.

“Shall I wear my walking boots mummy?”

“Might be a good idea darling, they’ll act as safety footwear. We’ll give you helmets and high-vis jackets at the office. Come on, let’s not be late.”

They chatted at length in the car and Ellie was relieved to find she had arrived first. It would give her time to elaborate on stuff concerning the business. She gave her dad the ‘guided tour’ of the commercial premises and storehouse but it wasn’t long before Beverly arrived, in a Tourano nine-seater transit van. Ellie’s dad stared mesmerised as a veritable mob of adolescent children and two older girls poured out of the back while Beverly’s wife Angela stepped down from the front seat with a young toddler at her side. It took several long seconds for William to recover from the size of Beverly’s brood and the shipping magnate smiled with amusement at William. She would have had difficulty recognising him as her long-lost brother but that was to be expected, it had been well over fifty years. The shock of seeing so many children left William a little stupefied. Ellie reminded him.

“Are we going to stand here all evening or are we taking the children to the ship. If we are going aboard, might I advise you two to make some sort of move or are you going to remain rooted there all night? The ship resumes loading in ten minutes and crossing the container park on foot is dangerous.”

William recovered from the surprise and smiled as he extended his hand. Beverly took it and gave it a gentle, lady-like shake to reinforce the feminine image she portrayed though it was Ellie’s father who finally broke the tense formality probably because Beverly was still trying to assimilate her feelings and responses.

“So you are the remarkable lady who has captured my daughter’s loyalty and dedication.”

Beverly responded with a smile towards Ellie.

“Oh I can assure you I truly value that loyalty and her splendid mind. Without her numeric skills I’d need a veritable
regiment of clerks and accountants. As it is we manage quite well with just three other office staff. Truly, your daughter is a remarkable mathematician."

Ellie’s father nodded and tightened his grip on Beverly’s hand ever so slightly. Beverly glanced at it, recognised the man’s genuine attempt to move things forward. She let her hand linger briefly then returned to the matter of getting the children safely aboard.

Callista was soon being shown around by Ellie and Beverly’s children. Beverly invited William to join her in the ‘Owner’s cabin where she chatted about the progress of the shipping line and Ellie’s contribution to it.

“You can be proud of your daughter Mr Holst, she has proved to be an excellent contributor to this company’s success. Indeed, I am thinking of offering her some shares but we must first see how the North Sea venture prospers.”

William smiled with relief and satisfaction for it seemed his daughter had found the security and prosperity he had worried about since Henry’s premature death in the rail crash. For an hour or so they continued chatting while Callista enjoyed the tour of the ship in the company of her mother and the other children.

As Ellie led her daughter and the other children around the ship, Callista renewed acquaintances with Beverly’s brood for she couldn’t remember all the children’s names. All Beverly’s girls were older than Callista except for Angela’s baby Megan who was just toddling. The duty of carrying Megan around the ship was shared by the older girls particularly Jenny and Bea who doted on their new half-sister who had become the most recent addition their family. Callista was only a few years older than Megan but old enough to declare her independence whilst sticking close to her mother. As the group explored the ship, the re-introductions were completed and soon everybody was sufficiently familiar with each other to feel at ease. Finally Callista was told about the transgendered children Martina and Chrissie and all remnants of any ice were well and truly broken. Normally neither Ellie nor Beverly would have transgressed these boundaries but if Callista was to find any truly supportive friends she would do well to seek them amongst other transgendered children. They more than anybody else would better understand the issues Callista had to face.

Nobody knew better than Ellie how destructive and shocking it could be to have family secrets hidden away for years, so it was best if Callista knew from the very start about Beverly’s children and their mutual circumstances. Family secrets could be destructive and one day, Callista would have to know that Megan was a blood cousin, though for the present, that issue could be left to lie quietly. Learning that Beverly was her aunty had been one of the biggest shocks of Ellie’s life.

Callista was overjoyed to learn that the ‘auntie’ Beverly she had grown to love, had actually fostered children just like her and it strengthened the bond of trust and love she was already feeling for her mother’s boss. After the children had completed the tour of the ship, Callista latched on to Martina and Chrissie. When they returned to the saloon, she clambered on to Chrissie’s lap and bombarded both older girls with a host of questions; some simple, and some so complicated that even Ellie could not answer all of them. While the children chatted Angie went to join the cook in the galley to help prepare the extra meals that had been sprung on him at short notice. By seven, the whole party were sat around the saloon table with Mac, the gay captain playing host. Beverly sat at the other end while the other adults were spread amongst the chattering children. At nine pm they were reluctant to finish the party but the Speedwell was preparing to sail on the midnight tide so Billy and Mac had duties to address. Back at the office, William was reluctant to say goodbye to Beverly but the children were getting tired. As Ellie drove home, Callista fell asleep in the back and her father William took the rare opportunity to chat privately. Ellie opened the conversation.

“So what d’ you think of my boss?”

William paused thoughtfully.

“She’s a remarkable woman, I’m still trying to get my head around her life story. She also told me a little bit about
her childhood- both barrels, no holds barred! What sort of mother could abandon a child like that?”

Ellie snorted with disgust.

“Huh, you don’t have to look very far do you, try your own mother.”

William fell silent, his daughter’s words had struck home but he could not find words to condemn his own mother. Instead he returned to the case of the remarkable woman who ran the shipping line.

“By rights Beverly should be dead you know. The vast majority of people who experience that degree of abuse eventually fail somewhere in their lives; do you follow me? The trauma comes back to haunt them and they eventually give up. You know, alcohol, drugs, suicide because it’s too much to bear. To have got where she is makes her one tough lady. What keeps her going? I mean my younger brother simply disappeared, probably dead by now. That Beverly is one tough cookie.”

Ellie sucked her lip thoughtfully. The conversation was getting a bit close to the bone but it was obvious that her father still hadn’t a clue as to Beverly’s true identity. The conventional answer about Beverly’s survival was usually some trite remark about ‘for the children’s sakes’, but Beverly hadn’t even considered children until her early fifties; and even then they had been more-or-less forced upon her. Ellie was at a loss to identify any element or mechanism or circumstance that had kept her Beverly alive and sane; yes sane! The vast majority of abuse victims ended up with disturbed personalities so whatever had kept Beverly going though all the darkness would be worth a fortune if it could bottled. She ventured a nervous reply.

“Could anger or hatred have driven her?”

“She didn’t seem angry or hateful to me,” William observed, “in fact once we broke the ice, she seemed almost friendly or at least accommodating, even while she was revealing the most ghastly stuff. I presume she’s told you everything, the rapes, the child prostitution and all that.”

“Everything,” Ellie replied as the memory caught the words in her throat, “every sickening detail. You’re correct Daddy, by rights, she should be long dead, disease, suicide, drug overdose or alcohol poisoning. Just what is it that’s kept her alive?”

“I don’t know but it’s obvious she’s a fantastic mother – I mean have you seen the children? They adore her and normally girls at that age are at daggers drawn with their mothers; not wanting to be seen with their parents, constantly arguing about clothes, boy-friends, late nights and all the usual conflicts. I asked her if the children knew about her childhood and she said yes, but only recently when that older girl, Chrissie was rescued and fostered. The younger children had felt a little threatened by the sudden introduction of a disturbed older transgendered girl but Beverly seemed to get everybody through the troubles and reassure them. Her little girl Megan doesn’t know yet but she’s only a toddler.”

Her father wagged his head while still trying to assimilate everything finally he repeated his earlier conclusion.

“How she survived all that, I’ll never know.”

“She says it was that remarkable Captain on her first ship, that and some of the ship’s crew. I mean fancy just plain old merchant seamen caring more for her than the social workers ever did.”

Ellie watched her father wagging his head in some sort of disbelief or turmoil. She continued by describing why Beverly still didn't trust society.

“There weren’t any properly trained professional social workers as such in her day. Consequently she doesn’t much reckon on professional carers; hardly surprising really.”

“Amen to that!” William finished, “doctors, lawyers, wardens, police, social-workers, even judges; they all failed her - there’s nobody.

Ellie added, “well I think there are a few she trusts, mostly from when she adopted or fostered the children. She’s mentioned one or two of them briefly but I can’t remember their names.”

Her father replied hoping to edge his own agenda of educating his own mother Charlotte about transgenderism.

“I think Charlotte should meet her, if only just to show that not all transgendered people are simpering, hysterical, sex-workers.”

Ellie wagged her head and moved to scotch the idea.

“The last thing Beverly needs is to be trotted out like some performing animal just to convince a nonagenarian bigot. She’d treat Nana Charlotte with all the contempt she deserves.”

On this note father and daughter fell silent as their own thoughts occupied them. Ellie reflected upon her secret because discovering Beverly’s identity had created a huge issue for Ellie and its resolution was nowhere in sight. They pulled into the cottage driveway and Nana Charlotte met them at the door. She studied the sleeping child and smiled.

“I see she enjoyed herself – out like a light.”

“Yes, she found the ship most enjoyable, but bedtime now.” Ellie replied as she lifted Callista out of the back child seat. “Ooh she’s getting heavy.”

William reached out and took the child from Ellie’s arms and they put her straight to bed without even a bath.

“She’ll keep until morning.” Ellie rationalised.

After putting Callista to bed, Ellie went to her own living-room and avoided speaking to her Nan. By closing the door it was an unspoken signal that she wanted to be left alone. Nana Charlotte tried asking her son William but he was equally reticent to reveal that Ellie’s boss was a transgendered woman.. The secrecy irked the old lady and she became testy at being held ‘out of the loop’.

At breakfast Nana Charlotte ignored Ellie and tried to winkle some information out of Callum.

“Did you enjoy the boat Callum?”

“Yes Nana.”

“And was the nice lady there, your mummy’s boss?

“Yes Nana, they’re not boats, they’re ships.”

“Oh, ships indeed; so what’s the difference?”

“Ships are big, boats are little. Miss Beverly owns the ship it’s called The Speedwell. All the little boats, the yachts, have to move out of the way when The Speedwell arrives or leaves. The captain told me that the man who runs the harbour has to come down and shoo the little boats out of the way. If they don’t get out of the way he makes them pay a fine. The ship is very important.”

“And is she important?”

“Who?”

“The lady, Miss Beverly, your mummy’s boss.”

“She’s very nice, she’s kind to me and she lets me wear my dresses.”

Nana Charlotte was slightly taken aback by her great-grand-child’s forthrightness but she steered clear of the issue that had caused the fissure in the family.

“Oh she must be kind then.”

“She is but she isn’t posh or stuck up. Her children say she’s been very kind to them as well. One of her daughters is like me.”

“What d’ you mean?”

Ellie felt forced to interrupt for she had no idea what the children had spoken of while they toured the ship.

“Alright Nana, that’s enough fishing. If you want to know about Beverly, ask me.”

“I was only ask –“

“I know exactly what you were doing. Beverly’s an okay woman. She’s responsive to Callista because she’s got transgendered children of her own as well - two in fact. There, has that settled your prurient interest. If you want to know how she ended up with two transgendered children it’s because she adopted them. They were children at serious risk and she took them in when nobody else cared. Their own parents had rejected them or abused them.

It’s all legal and done through the social services and courts. Now stop trying to probe and poke for more information. Compared with some people, Beverly’s a saint.”

Charlotte fell silent. Never having met Ellie’s boss, she had assumed Beverly to be some sort of hard-driven harridan. The discovery that the woman had adopted displaced and disadvantaged children cast a new light on things. Charlotte was intrigued and resolved to learn more. Her problem however was getting out of the cottage and into the town of Poole. Now aged ninety two, he found driving virtually impossible and she’d given it up whilst now relying on her son William and grand-daughter Ellie to ferry her about. Her only other option was to take a taxi into town and engineer some sort of seemingly innocuous encounter. Some days later an opportunity presented itself.

Rose, Ellie’s other aunt phoned to say she was going to Bournemouth on business and could she come to visit the family in the evening. Ellie was at work and William was going into Southampton that particular morning so Charlotte swiftly arranged for Rose to meet her at the cottage in the morning and ferry her into Poole on the pretence of visiting a friend. While Rose continued into Bournemouth, Charlotte concluded she could visit Ellie at work and catch a glimpse of the woman of whom Ellie seemed so besotted with admiration.

When Rose set Charlotte down in Poole shopping district, Charlotte immediately hailed a cab to take her to the harbour area, a distance of less than a mile.

She found a small workmen’s cafe that immediately overlooked the entrance to the docks and she settled at a table in the little bay window. At lunch time a few men emerged to order sandwiches while others settled down to eat at the tables. Nana Charlotte received a few disinterested glances mainly because she had arrived early and occupied a favoured table. Nothing was said and eventually she spotted a powerful grand touring car emerging from the gate. It stopped at the traffic lights directly opposite the window and Nana Charlotte got a good view of the driver. She did not recognise the woman but presumed it was Ellie’s boss because Ellie had once mentioned that Beverly drove an Aston Martin.

Suddenly the driver noticed the woman in the cafe studying her and Beverly immediately recognised the diner.

Beverly flinched momentarily then swallowed as she recovered her composure but her reaction was masked by her having to move off as the traffic lights turned green. Further down the road she pulled into a lay-by and immediately phoned Ellie who was still at the office.

“I believe I’ve just seen my mother in the cafe where the dockers eat. When you come out just have a look in the window and tell me if that’s her. Don’t let on that I’ve seen or recognised her. My stomach churned when I realised.”

Ellie immediately closed her laptop and fumed as she drove out of the dock gates. There was no mistaking her Nana and Ellie made a point of catching her eye before pulling across the lights and parking in the small area behind the cafe. When she strode into the cafe all the dockers acknowledged her and smiled as she crossed directly to her Nan.

“What are you doing here?” Ellie demanded.

“Eating my lunch.”

“I can see that but why here, why by the dock gates?”

“I, I wanted to see you,” Nana Charlotte stumbled.

“So why not phone? I could have arranged to meet you in town.”

“Was that your boss in the Blue Sport’s car?”

“Yes. What’s your interest?”

“I just wanted to see what she looked like. See what a saint looked like; see what sort of woman adopts children like Callum.”

Ellie had to bite her lip at the intended slur on her child, then she pursed her lips as she hissed.

“What d' you mean 'children like Callum? What's wrong with Callum or more correctly Callista?”

Nana Charlotte tried to backtrack as she realised she had pierced her grand-daughter’s armour.

“No-nothing.”

“Good. I don’t think you and Beverly have much in common and I certainly don’t think she would approve of you.
She knows about your opinion of Callista.”

“Who told her?” Charlotte demanded.

“Me of course! She could tell I was upset one day – something you had said about Callista and she asked me about it. That’s when she invited me to her cottage and I met her children. The rest is history. She’s become a true friend and I count her as a supportive element on Callista’s journey. Callista absolutely adores her so I don’t want you interfering.”

“It’s not like that! I wasn’t being sarcastic or ironic. I would just like to meet her and find out why she accepts this stuff so readily. Most people of her generation, not to mention mine, have trouble with this whole transgender thing. I was thinking maybe; if I spoke to her about these children she might be able to help me with Callum. You know give me a few pointers that we older people need.”

Ellie felt uncertain how to proceed and she was deeply suspicious. If her Nana was really sincere there might be an avenue to work the whole thing through but if Charlotte was lying, just to find some leaver or weapon to try and have Callum taken away by social services then Ellie might not be responsible for what she might do to the older woman. She shuddered at the very idea that these suspicions had even entered her head and she wondered if she was getting paranoid. Angry that the stress had caused her to even think such thoughts, she made her excuses and left to join Beverly at the Yacht club restaurant.

“Look Nana, I’ve got to go, I’m meeting somebody with my boss for lunch. We’ll have to talk about meeting Beverly some other day.”

“Can you not stay for a cup of tea?”

“No. I told you I’m meeting her at the yacht club. You can’t just expect to turn up at the dock entrance and monopolise my time. I’ll see you tonight. Cheerio.”

With that, Ellie left and Charlotte ordered another cup of tea.

It was three o’clock before Ellie and Beverly returned from Lunch. From their individual cars they each spotted Charlotte still occupying the prominent front window. Having easily recognised her long forgotten mother Beverly clenched her jaw as the bile rose. In the office she confronted Ellie.

“It was her wasn’t it? Your grandmother – the bitch that spawned me! What does she want?

“I don’t know, I think so” Ellie lied.

“I know it's her! Is she stalking me? Does she know about me?”

“No! Definitely not! Well not to my knowledge. She knows about your children because Callum spoke of them and she’s just curious about you adopting transgendered children.”

“It’s no concern of hers! You can tell her that from me; and I don’t want to meet her. There’re enough issues with me and my children without inviting that bigot back into my life.”

“No!” Ellie protested. “It’s not like that; she might be coming around, she wants to speak to older people, people her own age.”

Beverly’s eyes glittered with suppressed rage as she flashed a warning glare before speaking almost in a whisper.

“She’s not my age Ellie! She’s a generation before me." Beverly poked herself in her own chest to reinforce her feelings. "This girl Beverly is not interested in that woman Charlotte or her bigotry! My answer remains a resounding NO! I’ll not meet her or talk to her, ever!” Beverly turned abruptly and returned to her desk to put some files in her briefcase. Ellie recognised them as papers to do with the new North Sea route.

“I thought you were dealing with those next week.”

“I want to get away from here and that woman! I want to clear my head so I’ve decided to start early. I’ll stay in a hotel in the midlands tonight and finish this paperwork. Expect some phone calls from me later tonight. You’d best take your portfolio of projections home with you. When I arrive in Hull tomorrow I’ll probably have a few more questions for you. I’ll be going to Hamburg next week so call me at the German office if you need me - though you're quite capable of handling stuff here without me.”

“You’re running away from this business aren’t you?”

Beverly nodded vigorously.

“Frankly yes. I want a break from it all. Don’t ever let that bitch darken the doors of this office, ever! Promise me Ellie. I just couldn’t handle her in my life.”

Ellie squinted curiously as she asked.

“Is it really that bad?”

“Yes.” Beverly replied abruptly before adding “I hate her – and you don’t have to ask why! Now, can you have the voyage tonnages for last month analysed and ready before nine tonight. I will go over them at the hotel.”

Ellie realised Beverly’s request was a ploy to avoid anymore talk about Charlotte and she left to prepare the figures off the computer and transfer them to both their laptops. The task took little more than an hour but Ellie knew Beverly was already on route to Hull. She emailed them to Beverly’s laptop so her boss could see them immediately upon arriving at whatever hotel she chose to stay.

Upon arriving at a Hotel outside Leicester Beverly checked the figures then phoned her girl Friday.

“Thanks for those. I’ll be arriving in Hull by elevenish – traffic permitting and I’ll email what new info there is up here. After that I’ll see you next Friday after Hamburg. It’ll be good to get away for a while.”

Ellie argued.

“You could simply fly over midweek instead of all this rig-ma-roll.”

Ellie heard a snort of discomforted rejection followed by a pregnant pause.

“She’s not to come near this office, d’ you understand me!”

“So it’s really about Nana then, isn’t it?”

Ellie could hear Beverly’s long deep breath as she struggled to stay calm. Finally her boss found words – harsh words.

“Of course it bloody is! I hate her – I detest her!” Beverly snapped angrily before clicking off her phone.

Ellie let go a long, disappointed sigh as she concluded the sad truth – Beverly and her mother were probably irreconcilable.

That night, in torrential rain she drove despondently home only to meet with even worse news. ~~oo000oo~~