The Ring of Competition
A Mercynaries Story from SinComics.com

The musty air of the ancient temple gasped through the small crack the pickaxe made in the landslide. After several strikes, the rocks were cracked enough that their own weight brought them tumbling down to the floor and let light shine into an entryway that hadn't been used since the gods roamed the lands. Two hooded figures threw down ropes and shimmied down to the rubble.
"See? Told you there was a temple down here!" The first figure removed his hood and surveyed the scene. He brushed the pebbles out of his blonde hair, now gray with dust and cobwebs older than his own civilization. After storing the pick in his rucksack, he bowed to his partner.
"You did good, Riley." The other hooded figured ruffled his hair and surveyed the entrance.
"Don't bend over backwards congratulating me for finding a lost temple or anything, Rhonda."
His partner laughed and wiped a thick layer of dust off a statue. "Finding this joint was the easy part, now comes the fun part. Plunder!"
"Assuming we're not killed off by some protective wards, curses, or other kinds of magical traps."
"That's why I'm here, lad." She cracked her knuckles and wiggled her fingers at the long hallway leading into the dark. "If you want to loot something without dying, you need the finest thief in the land."
"Second. Second finest thief," Riley grinned. He tossed Rhonda a torch and some matches and set off into the depths of the temple.

The robbers surveyed the temple as they made their way down the corridors and staircases. Most passages had long since crumbled with neglect, but the duo was able to clamber through the holes and cut through what overgrowth had found its way down into the temple.
Riley scrapped some dirt off a jewel embedded in a worn relief on the wall. "Look at this stuff! We must be the first people down here in forever. Nobody's even looted the easy pickings."
Rhonda looked up from dismantling the spring on a spike trap guarding a golden door. "We'll plunder those goods on the way back up. If we're right, the real stuff is just a bit further in. And don't touch that if you're fond having two hands."
Riley's arm shot back and he stopped fidgeting with what appeared to be just a normal sconce next to a torn tapestry. "Then lead on, miss. Beauty before talent."

Shoving a stone slab serving as a false wall out of the way, the rogues found themselves in an altar room tiled with jade stones and a sapphire path leading to a reflecting pool. It had long since dried up, but in the middle stood a pedestal with a prize ripe for the picking. Rhonda's arm came out and she held her partner back. "Give me a minute. It looks clear, but..." She went to work, pouring over the tiles in the pool and the pedestal itself, checking for any hidden traps, switches, or magical wards.
Riley beamed. "The Ring of Competition! An artifact forged by the gods themselves to give them complete mastery over any earthly matter..."
"Thanks for the exposition, professor." Rhonda gave him a playful punch in the shoulder. "Looks clean. However, there is but one ring and two dashing thieves in this room..."
Riley grinned and prepared something in his satchel. "And that little fact is why you need the finest thief in the land."
Rhonda gasped, "But of course I'm already here and- Oh, ohhh, you presumed yourself. How quaint."
They grinned to each other and Riley gently palmed the Ring. "All the myths say that these artifacts are so powerful that only one could ever be in existence at a time, but if we do this properly..." He spread a ward on the pedestal and lit the center with a match. "First, we start an invocation to get the attention of the divine beings holding our property, but then..." He held out his arm for Rhonda to grab his free hand, which she did. "If we maintain contact and split focus among ourselves while the ward is in play..." He slipped the Ring into his satchel, while maintaining focus on the ward, slowly backing away from the pedestal and out of the reflecting pool. Once they were out of the altar room, Riley shook his bag, causing the Ring to clatter to the floor. He finally broke contact with Rhonda, and reached back into the satchel. "One Ring on the ground and one-" He brought his hand back out. "-In my bag."
Rhonda gleefully clapped. "Amazing, my boy! A rather fantastical cheat, if I do say so myself."
He bowed once more. "A rather dangerous cheat I came across in my work. But one most useful. As long as you never get caught. And that, miss, is why I am the greatest thief of all time."
Rhonda deftly plucked the Rind from his hand and palmed it herself. "Second greatest."
With a sigh, Riley bent over and picked up his new ring from the ground. "So what do we do first? We're unstoppable now! Start entering feats of strength, trouncing the competition and cementing ourselves as the mightiest warriors in the realm? Entering sporting events, bringing home the accolades, prize money, and endorsements? Or do we play it simple, enter lotteries and let the easy money flow in?"
Rhonda clucked her tongue and put a hand on her partner's shoulder. "You think too small, good sir! For what is war but a competition between two kingdoms, and competitions we will surely win. We will be unstoppable in battle, overthrow kings, and have castles to ourselves." The team giggled with devilish glee and slipped the Rings onto their fingers.
Rhonda beamed as the Ring's emerald glittered in the dull torchlight. "Rather fashionable on top of it all!"
"The old gods had good taste. Not only am I a master thief, but now I'm the best looking too."
"Riley, dear, the second best. I'm MUCH cuter than you with this ring."
"The Competition Is Engaged."
Riley looked around the room for the booming voice that echoed through the halls. "Who said that?"
Rhonda glared back at her partner. "That wasn't you? If you didn't- Riley! Your Ring!"
The ring on Riley's finger started to pulse with a power through the emerald and it glowed with a misty green light. "The hell is that? Why is it- Why is everything glowing?"
Rhonda backed off away from him towards the wall. "It's not everything else, it's you! You're... you're green!" Riley flailed to try to shake off the green glow, but it quickly evaporated and drifted off of him like dissipating steam. "You're not green, you're..."
"What? What?!" Riley grasped at his throat and the words that came out oddly.
"You're... me!" Rhonda grabbed one of the silver plates adorning the relief on the wall and gave it a quick polish with her sleeve before shoving it at her partner.
Riley gaped into the reflective adornment and saw Rhonda's face staring back at him. He pawed at the face and hair, now clean and free of dust and debris. "This can't be!" Rhonda's hair- His hair flowed a little longer and over the collar of his hood. The former blonde, now a rich brown. He pulled forward a clump to get a better look and Rhonda leaned in.

"It looks like my hair, but the color is off. And it's a bit longer. But it looks-" She was cut off by the glow emanating her hand this time. "No! No, no, no!"
"The Competition Is Engaged."
The green glow swirled around Rhonda before burning off into the ether. She quickly grabbed the plate out of Riley's hands and was relieved to see herself in the reflection. She sighed and slumped forward in relief, causing locks of hair to fall forward onto her shoulders. She puzzled over the long locks, now the same luxurious chocolate brown as Riley's. Before she could speak, she exhaled sharply and clutched her chest.
"Rhonda! What's wrong?! Are you-"
"I think... My top just got tighter. They're... bigger!"
Riley whipped his head from side to side, causing the long strands of hair to flutter in the air. "It's the rings! They're trying to compete with each other!"
"Compete on what!? We didn't enter anything!"
"It's- It's what you said! Your stupid comment about looking better! Look what you did to me!"
"Don't yell at me! It's not my fault the Ring is stupid! Just- Here, just take it off until we can figure out how to work them." Rhonda tugged at her ring but it didn't budge. After seeing this, Riley yanked at his as well but with a similar result.
"It's not coming off! It's not coming off!"
"Riley! Calm down! Freaking out isn't going to help us. It has to have some kind of ward on it. We just need to find it and-"
"The Competition Is Engaged."
Riley waved his arm frantically as the Ring started to glow again. He had the wind knocked out of him as his new chest pushed out more against his shirt, then he tottered forward as his hips jutted back to emphasize his rear. He patted his new backside and winced. "Cut it off! Just- Get a knife!"
Rhonda quickly dropped her bag and dug through it, knowing if she didn't act fast enough, she'd suffer the same changes, but worse. "Here! Here! Hold out out your hand!" She motioned to Riley, jutting the knife forward. He put his hand down on the ground, forming a fist and sticking his ring finger out. Clamping his eyes shut to avoid the scene, Riley looked away as his partner brought the knife down onto his finger. He felt a slight pressure, but no pain. "It's not cutting!" Rhonda slammed the knife down onto his fingers several more times, but all for the same outcome. The knife pressed up against his skin but rolled off harmlessly.
"Give me that!" Riley yanked the knife from her hands and stabbed it into his hand, only to have to slide off and clink to the temple floor each time.
"The Competition Is Engaged."
Rhonda stumbled into Riley's arms as her hips and rear pushed out. "Riley! Help me!" She licked her lips as a strange feeling came over them. There was a new plumpness to them and she pursed them reflexively. "If we can't get it off our fingers, just crush them! Destroy the Ring!"
Riley ran over to a corroded pillar already leaning against the wall, no doubt damaged during the rock-slide that buried the temple eons ago. Placing his hand on the ground once more, Riley kicked at the base of the pillar, causing it to fracture and come crashing down. It slammed to the ground with a crash, kicking up a cloud of dust and fragments of the support. When the cloud cleared, Riley looked down to see the shattered debris of the pillar around his clean and healthy hand. The Ring shimmered in the torchlight, almost taking delight in the chaos around it.
Rhonda grabbed him by his cloak and threw his bag at his chest. "We're getting out of here!"
The thieves scrambled down the hallway back towards the staircase leading them out of the temple.
"The Competition Is Engaged."

The team arrived back in their village, the trip taking them much longer this time as their clothes had started shifting during the journey. Their boots turned to heels and their slacks into tights. Once loose fitting cloaks cinched into breezy tunics. Rhonda strode with anger at their predicament, while Riley lagged behind, his arms out at his sides unwilling to touch his cursed form.
Rhonda jerked her thumb towards the edge of town. "Somebody should still be in the church at this hour. We'll get these curses lifted and never speak of this again!" Riley nodded and they made their way to the church steps.
Inside, the old priest was tidying the temple for the night and greeted the rogues. "Welcome, my children. I sense... A great evil in your auras."
Riley rushed forward and clasped his hands together. "Yes. Yes! That's why we've come! Please, you have to remove this curse from us. We can pay or-"
The priest motioned for them to follow and slowly made his way to a dark room in the back of the building. "No, my child. Curing such evil is why we are here. Please, sit down." The pair obeyed and silently held hands while the priest gathered his supplies. He ambled his way back to the desk and removed several jars of lotions and incense. "Let me see the tainted objects."
The pair placed their hands on the desk and revealed the Rings. The priest was taken aback at first glance. "Such powerful magic!"
Rhonda meekly leaned forward. "Can you cure it, sir?"
The priest nodded. "It will take some time and effort, but I can surely-" He paused and looked intently at Rhonda's face. "You look... familiar."
Rhonda bolted back in her chair and waved him off. "No, no. It's our first time in this village. Quite lovely and all."
The priest glowered. "No, I recognize that face. You did something... Trying to change your look, but I recognize you!" He looked over at Riley and back at Rhonda. "It was one of you! One of you is the thief we caught stealing from the reliquary!"
Rhonda groaned and Riley glared at her. "Rhonda! The money you gave me for your half of the map..."
"It was nothing. They were old bones just sitting in a cabinet. Nobody was using them and I needed some quick cash, so... Ya know."
The priest shook his fist at her. "Those were the bones of a sainted disciple! They were irreplaceable holy relics passed down through the ages! Get out! Get out of my church!" The team jumped out of their chairs and backed up towards the door. The old priest continued shuffling towards them, shaking a fist towards the heavens and muttering. "It serves you right! The gods are punishing you for your wicked ways! No respect! I'm going to spread the word. No church will help you. Mark my words!"
Rhonda grabbed Riley's arm and pulled him out of the room. "Ugh. Old people! I was so sure he'd be all decrepit and have bad eyesight or something. I can't believe he remembered me!"
Riley was about to chew his partner out for being caught on what should have been a simple heist, but the Ring answered for him.
"The Competition Is Engaged."
The protective gloves on his arms tightened and slithered up his forearms until they became elegant, silk gloves not suited for any kind of work or combat. He winced as the Ring then went on to one-up Rhonda's look and two opalescent earrings pierced his lobes. With a sigh, he abandoned reproaching his partner and looked over to the village tavern. "Let's get something to eat and think of a plan."

The thieves dejectedly slid into a booth at the back of the tavern. It was late at night, so most of the patrons were passed out at the bar, leaving only a scattered handful at the tables. Riley squirmed, feeling his new round backside meet the plush seating. "What are we going to do, Rhonda?!"
She tapped her temples against her head, both in thought and anger. "I'm not sure yet. We'll think of something. There's got to be some kind of-"
"Well, lookie here! We got some fancy new folk in our town." Two drunken warriors sidled up to the table and eyed the rogues. Judging by their shabby armor, they were simple town guards. "And twins too!" The guards slid into the booth next to the thieves and looked them up and down.
The other guard threw his arm around Rhonda's shoulder. "What are you hot things doing in this dump? Mmmmm, can't tell which one of you is more fine."
"The Competition Is Engaged."
Riley and Rhonda looked at each other in panic. The Ring glowed and a layer of lipstick appeared on Rhonda's face, making her lips look moist and plump. The strange voice and sudden change made no impact on the unwanted guests.
The guard on Riley's side pulled the thief in close, pinning his arms and preventing him from pushing away. "I think it's my girl. Look at that body. That's somebody that's never known hard work. Must be some rich party girls from the big city."
Rhonda's guard patted her behind and guffawed. "Naw, naw. It's this one. If you could see what I'm looking at!" The two drunkenly guffawed and slapped their hands on the table.
"The Competition Is Engaged."
"What, no! So soon!?" Riley glowed once more and groaned as his chest puffed out again, pushing his tunic out and giving the guards a view of his cleavage. Not that the guard next to him noticed the change. "How are they not freaked out by the magic in front of them?!"
Rhonda grunted, sidling away from the guard as much as she could in the confined space. "They're drunk and stupid." She elbowed the guard off as he tried to lean in. "Or maybe we're the only ones that can hear the Ring's voice since we're the ones wearing it."
"We have to leave. This idiots might cause us to change faster and faster!"
Rhonda nodded and reached into her satchel. "I'm right there with you." She extracted a knife from her bag and deftly twirled it in her finger before jamming it between the plates of the guard's armor.
He yelped in pain and grabbed his side. It caused just enough of a distraction for Riley's chaperon to loosen his grip, wriggle free, grab his satchel, and swing it into the guard's nose. Clutching his face, he backed up, allowing Riley to slide up and over the table. He grabbed the other guard's collar and Rhonda pushed and they ran for the exit, their heels clacking on the tavern floor.
Outside, they slipped around the side of the tavern and headed towards a dark alley. They both panted and leaned against the wall for support. Their new bodies weren't designed for action and the changes were burning away muscles and coordination built through years of looting and heisting.
"Riley, we have to get out of town. The more people see us, the faster we're going to change..."
"I have a hideout. In the forest. I use it to recover after jobs. It's not much but-"
Rhonda grabbed his arm. "We're going. Now!"

Some time later, a green portal shimmered into existence in the town's center. Shortly after its creation, two women popped out and immediately started bickering.
"Mercy!" The tan blonde shouted. "You opened it up right in the middle of town! Now everybody is going to know something is up and panic!"
Her red-headed compatriot stamped her foot down and leaned in, raising a fist bearing a white gauntlet. "It's not like I control this thing! And it's not like it's my fault if people start- Not doing anything?" The pair surveyed the town and the small group of people that stopped to witness the scene, shrug, and move along with their day.
"Oh, boss!" The blonde pumped her fist. "We're in a world with magic. Everybody probably just thinks you're a dope and not like a demon god defying reality. That's good."
"Don't speak so soon! It's- It's horrible! My- My costume!" Mercy bunched up her robe and grabbed at the ornaments adorning it. "I think I'm a wizard here!" She groaned and rested her head in her partner's ample bosom.
Ruth patted her friend's head and started looking around. "There, there. I'm sure it takes time as a wizard before you start sucking or turning into a jerk. Let's finish this one quickly."
Mercy pouted and followed behind. "Easy for you to say... Dressed like a knight-y fighter warrior lady..."

The pair searched the town and interrogated the populace for the whereabouts of strangers with magical relics, not counting themselves. After a fruitless search and many badgered civilians, the team headed to the tavern for a break and to sample the realm's taste in booze. Upon entering, they spied a town guard nursing a stein and rubbing a bandaged side. Mercy, the not-wizard, nudged her ally. "Suspicious!"
Ruth nodded and sidled up to the bar. "Nasty wound there, friend and totally a fellow guard." The man looked her up and down, acknowledged he'd never seen her before and she probably wasn't actually a guard, and returned to his beer. He'd had enough of strange bimbos in the tavern to last him awhile. "So... any chance there was something strange about how you came across that wound?" The guard grunted and turned away from her. A barmaid strode over and patted Ruth on the shoulder.
"Don't mind him. Wasn't thinking with his proper head, lady didn't take too kindly to it and nicked him one in the side." She leaned in closer. "Kind of deserved it, in my opinion."
The duo turned away from the guard and focused on the woman. The redhead nodded quickly. "Anything recognizable about the person that did it? Strangeness? Kind of a magic-y feel?"
The barmaid blinked for a few seconds and returned focus to the blonde. "It was a pair of them. The thieving types. Hooded tunic, muddy satchels, but fancy jewelry. Probably up to no good."
The team nodded excitedly at the description. "Know where we might find her?"
"Just follow the path to the woods. That's bandit territory. Assuming you don't get knifed, you'll find some of the rogue types out there."
Mercy pumped her fist. "We know where to go!"
Ruth grumbled. "I don't want to get knifed again. That's never fun."

Ruth slammed the highwayman to the ground and gave him a swift kick to the ribs. "You okay, Merc?"
Mercy grimaced as she plucked an arrow out of her back. "Bastard shot me! In the back!" She put her hands on her knees and breathed deeply as the blood on the wound quickly clotted and the hole sealed itself. "Just- Just give me a sec to recover. And leave one of them conscious for questioning!"
"Right, right." Ruth counted off the battered bandits surrounding them. "Oooh, there's one that hasn't passed out. We're in the clear!" She strode over and flipped the hood onto his back using her boot. "I need some answers, boy. We're looking for a thief. A lady one. Probably pretty hot but also probably angry."
The bandit blubbered. "I'll talk, I'll talk. Just don't tell her I sent you her way! She's ferocious and nobody's ever been able to gank her! She promised that if we left her alone, she'd stop beating us."
"Sounds like our client. Now talk!"

The team followed the bandit's instructions through the rotting oak trees until they picked up a stream running through the woods. They followed this to a grove with several small huts in the trees and at their bases. Mercy pointed to one. "Look, there's a light in that one. Let's go." They climbed the steps and knocked gently on the door. "Hello? We're here to help." There was no answer. The pair looked to each other, shrugged, and pushed the door open.
Inside the hut was a woman curled in a bed staring at the ceiling. She had an extreme hourglass figure straining against a tight mini-dress. The scarf around her neck only served to draw the eye to her cleavage more. Her arms and legs were adorned with shimmering silk gloves and stockings and her feet in boots with a spiked heel several inches high. Full, wavy hair enveloped her and spread across the bed to the floor. Spangly earring clattered as she looked over at the pair and they saw the expertly done eyeliner and lipstick she sported. "What do you want?" she mumbled with a voice that still sounded sultry despite the tone.
Mercy waved and triumphantly explained, "We're here to get you fixed up!"
The woman sighed and turned back to staring at the ceiling. "Nothing works. The Ring doesn't come off."
Ruth slowly walked over to her side and squatted next to the bed. "That's what we can do. We help fix guys like you that find yourself in... situations."
The woman looked back at Ruth. "Guys?"
Ruth stammered for a brief moment. "Uh, yeah. Guys. You... You were a man before... THAT. Right?"
"You must mean Riley. Ugh, figures help would come for him. No, we disbanded because of this stupid ring. The changes come slower if we're apart and can't be judged easily."
Mercy looked the woman over. "So the Ring is the culprit? All that boob from a little piece of jewelry."
"Mercyyy!" Ruth gritted her teeth at her partner. "Dude, c'mon!" She turned back to the bed. "We're not here to judge whatever karma or bad actions let to all this. We just want to get this Riley turned back and get the Ring back to the Divine."
The women perked up at hearing what Ruth said. "You really know something about the Ring of Competition? The curse on it!? Look, look. I'll take you to Riley, but you have to cure me too!"
Ruth smiled her best artificial smile. "Sure, we'll throw fixing you in as a freebie if you lead us to him." The woman nodded vigorously, her chest quivering and hair flopping about with the motions. She stood up and wobbled, unsure on the heels after her repose. Ruth walked back to her partner. "We discussed bedside manner! This isn't vigilante justice. We're not here to make people feel lousy."
"C'mooon. They totally stole that ring and they're being punished for it. Granted, totally bonkers punishment, but if they're on a god's bad side, they earned it."
"We're on gods' bad sides!"
Mercy waggled her finger. "Totally different! WE didn't deserve it."
Rhonda finished collecting her pack and tottered off to the door. "Let's go, let's go! Riley set up a hideout back in that damned temple. We'll find him around there. Hurry!"
Ruth nudged Mercy and she spoke up. "Sorry about what I said. Um, shock of the situation and seeing you like that. All curvy and such. That's a nice dress?"
Rhonda spun around to face them. "No! Don't comment on how I look or-"
"The Competition Is Engaged."
The pair looked around the room. "Who said that?"
When they look back at the woman, she was slumped forward and trying to pat down the puffs that appeared on her outfit and now sat above her gloves. "Auuurgh!"

The trio returned to the scene of the rock-slide and searched around for the entrance. Soon Rhonda shout out, "Found it!" They shimmied their way down into the cave and saw the entranceway littered with supplies and tool. "Riley is definitely still here," she said, turning back to the darkened entry. She shouted into the darkness, "Riley! I found help!"
There was silence until a sultry voice echoed through the halls. "Stay away! Leave this cursed temple!"
The team listened and estimated where the voice was coming from. "No, Riley, it's me. Rhonda!" They advanced into the temple.
"Rhonda!? Is that why I morphed again last night."
Rhonda glared back at Mercy for her comments back at the hut. Mercy just waved her hand to dismiss then. "Just keep him talking so we can locate him..
As they trudged through the temple, Rhonda explained the situation and the arrival of Ruth and Mercy to help them. Using his voice, they finally pinpointed the thief and found him in an alcove. Rhonda looked excited to see him but quickly shied back, keeping her distance. Mercy and Ruth looked back and forth at the two nearly identical curvaceous rogues, both poorly dressed for their profession. The duo did a poor job not gawking at his comical proportions, but his face showed that he'd been through all this before and it was a big part of why he lived in an abandoned cave temple now. Riley explained that he came back to try to understand the tapestries and writings on the temple walls to see if they could reveal any clues on how to remove the Rings and their curse. Cautiously optimistic that the new strangers could help, Riley led them back down into the temple towards the altar room.
Several times in the exploration, Riley or Rhonda became wedged in the tight passageways or cracks they had to crawl though. Their exaggerated curves stuffing them in cramped spaces until the others pushed and pulled to squeeze the inflated bounce through. Riley rubbed his sore bottom after freeing it from a particularly tight crawlspace but motioned to the gilded entry. "We're here."
Mercy and Ruth crept in first, surveying the altar room and reflecting pool. Mercy moved in tight on her partner. "Definitely getting creepy vibes in here. I think we should be able to summon something if this really is an artifact of a Divine."
Ruth nodded and moved to the pedestal, looking around intently, pausing in thought, and then shouting. "Hey! Yo, Divine!"
Vibrating dark shadows started to coalesce above the reflecting pool, forming a vaguely humanoid stretched out misty shape you could really only fathom out of the corner of your eye. A voiced boomed out of the ether,"The Valkyrie's lapdogs! What are you dears doing in my temple?"
Mercy politely waved to the Divine being. "Hey. Hi there. These two idiot thieves stole something from you and now they've realized the error and daftness of their ways so they're super sorry. They're also super hexed so if you would so kindly take your artifacts back and clear th-"
"The Competition Is Engaged."
Riley groaned as his chest ballooned out further. The shadowy being twisted to face the two bandits. "The Ring of Competition! Oh yes, some of my early work."
Rhonda pushed forward. "Then you'll be wanting it back! Take it! Take them!"
Riley clapped his hands together, the best he could around his figure. "We're sorry! We're SO sorry!"
The shadowy figure retracted into itself, swirling in contemplation. "Nah."
The two teams recoiled and shouted in unison, "WHAT!?"
"Quite frankly, it's early work that's only been improved upon. I have like a dozen of them." One of the roiling limbs contracted and when it opened up again, several of the Rings were on display. "The Rings aren't worth much to me, but the... yes, the chaos it's causing you all is so much more delectable. I haven't been to this realm in ages and this is rather fun."

Riley and Rhonda stared with their jaws agape, unprepared for this outcome.
Mercy stepped forward. "Look, we all agree what they did was dumb and then to duplicate it, dumb again, and we all agree they should be punished-"
One of the identical voices spoke up from the behind her, "No we shouldn't," but a stern glare from Mercy silenced further commentary.
Ruth tapped her chin. "Surely there are more interesting ways to abuse these too. Realistically, there has to be some ultimate 'cuteness' threshold that these two will reach. And then what? No more changes and everybody gets used to it." The Divine paused in consideration and then continued being an undefinable swirling piece of the cosmos. "What if you could cause them constant chaos?"
"I'm listening... This is not a proposition I typically get from one of the Valkyrie's minions."
Ruth let the comment about being a minion slide. "I figure, it would be fun if you cure these two of the actual change, but then leave the illusion of the change for everybody else to see. That way, you enact chaos on everybody else but it would cause all kinds of trouble for these two. They look normal to themselves, but the rest of the world sees them like... that over there. The attention and embarrassment they'd face day to day would be chaotic indeed and they'd never be able to sneak in anywhere and steal something again."
The Divine puffed itself out as it digested the idea. "Yes. Yes!"
Rhonda raised a fist to the team. "What kind of mediators are you?! I thought you were helping us!"
Mercy shrugged. "We're desperate on our end too. And you're kind of dicks, so..."
The Rings clattered to the ground and the metallic pangs echoed through the chamber. The thieves gasped as their bodies started to deflate and suck back into themselves. Curves flattened out, hair retracted, and their accessories sparkled into nothingness. Riley ignored the ridiculous dress he still wore and patted his chest with relief.
Ruth turned to her partner and pointed at her arm. "Shall we?"
Mercy opened her palm and summoned a portal from her gauntlet. "Yeah, before they try to hug us, shank us, or loot us." The team gave a polite nod to the Divine and vanished back to their own realm.
When the thieves finished a teary-eyed hug, they looked around the room. The blonde and redhead were gone and the Divine had dissipated but they could still feel its presence in the chamber. They wordlessly agreed to flee from the temple and never return.

Riley and Rhonda made the trip back to town slowly. They reveled in being able to free themselves from painful footwear, their current lack of jiggling and wobbling, and less of a need to worry about future back pain. As they passed the gates into the village, a chorus of whistles greeted them. They slowed their entrance as several ogling townsfolk approached them and Riley received a gentle slap on the behind to a chorus of guffaws from the men around them. Rhonda shoved away a merchant that draped his arm around her and complimented her wiggle. The two thieves went back to back and tensed up at the sight of the love-struck crowd while somewhere out in the cosmos, a Divine being felt rather satisfied with itself.

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