Helen and Michellehave another ‘heart-to-heart’ discussion. Ballroom dancing has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, but I didn’t realise just how important it would become in shaping my future, until I had to take the place of one of my bosses following an accident. Dancing Queen A novel by Louise Anne Smithson Copyright © 2013 Louise Anne Smithson All Rights Reserved.

Rob returned to the office just before one o’clock on Tuesday followed by Helen soon afterwards, so Sarah suggested that Helen and I should take our lunch breaks at the same time.

‘In that case shall we have lunch together again Michelle?’ Helen suggested.

‘Fine, but I was only planning to have a coffee and a panini at Latte Heaven in High Street South.’

‘That suits me,’ she replied.

It seemed that Helen was once again happy to have lunch with me.

‘So how have things been this morning?’Helen asked as we took our toasted sandwiches and coffee to a vacant table.

‘The office was pretty busy after you left. Also Sarah needed to finish those new specs so I was left manning the shop by myself. I must have dealt with nine or ten enquiries but, I seem to have coped alright. I thought it would become less busy as a result of the economic down turn.’

‘No, not at the moment; those people that have been given notice of redundancy or otherwise found they have over-extended themselves are frantically trying to downsize, and those who aren’t too affected by the downturn are looking to pick up a bargain,’ said Helen.

‘I didn’t mind it being busy though.’

‘You never used to be so keen on dealing with clients and tended to hide yourself away behind your computer screen doing clerical work.’

‘That was Mike,’ I replied.

(It now seemed quite natural for me to be referring to my former self in the third person.)

‘As you know he tended to stammer when dealing with people face-to face.’

‘But not Michelle - that is odd,’ she commented. ‘Yet Mike didn’t stammer as much when answering the telephone.’

‘I know, but then he used to feel self-conscious of his high-pitched voice which was sometimes mistaken for that of a girl.’

‘But of course that is no longer a problem for Michelle,’ she said smiling.

‘No it isn’t; at least not for the time being. As Michelle I feel more confident and relaxed and so tend to be friendlier and more at ease with callers.’

‘Yes, I can see that. You’re also easier to chat with, as well.’

I’d also noticed this about myself but didn’t really want to get into a discussion of why it should be so. I therefore looked for another topic of conversation.

‘By the way, thanks for suggesting to Sarah that I should show the Johnsons around that property on Friday.

‘That’s alright; it would have been a rush for me to fit them in and in any event it’s time they gave you an opportunity to show what you can do when dealing with clients.’

‘Sarah’s accident seems to be providing me with different opportunities to prove that I can be relied upon to do a good job.’

‘Me too!’ she replied. ‘But in your case I don’t think it is just a result of the accident. As we’ve just discussed, Michelle seems to be a different person and inspire more confidence. I doubt whether that elderly couple would have specifically asked for you to show them around if you’d been dressed as Mike on the first occasion you met them.’

I didn’t answer; no matter how much I tried to avoid it, the conversation always seemed to return to me and my future. Helen could see that I was beginning to get embarrassed and so changed the subject.

‘We’ve not had much chance to talk together since last week; tell me what happened last Saturday.’

(In fact she’d had plenty of opportunity to ask me this the previous day when I was in the office dressed as Mike, but had chosen not to do so. Perhaps she was right and that it had been more difficult for her to have a friendly chat with Mike?)

I shrugged.

‘As I said, my new partner and I seemed to dance quite well together and there were no problems. Afterwards, the committee discussed the question of Sarah’s replacement and there were no volunteers or obvious candidates except for the two of us so we’ve been asked to perform the next four demonstrations.’

‘With you dancing the woman’s part for them all?’

‘Alan is more than six feet tall and quite well built; I don’t think he would look very good wearing a dress.’

‘But you do,’ she responded, as if were a truth, universally acknowledged.

‘So it would seem,’ I admitted.

‘So how does your mother feel about you spending all this time as a young woman?’ she asked.

‘Mum seems to welcome the idea of having a daughter for a while, especially if it means that I’m going to be dancing once again.’

‘I suppose, more to the point, how do you feel about the idea?’ she asked.

I thought for a moment before answering, trying to work out my own feelings. I decided the best idea would be to focus on the dancing, as that was the reason for the existence of Michelle.

‘The idea came as a bit of a shock at first, but everyone in the Ballroom Dancing Society has been so encouraging to me. Also, it is going to provide me with the chance to partner a really good dancer.’

Helen smiled as if this wasn’t the full answer and she was expecting me to enlarge upon my comments.

‘I assumed that I knew all about ballroom dancing, but I’m beginning to discover that I only ever saw things from a male perspective and that there is a lot more for me to learn.’

This answer didn’t satisfy her though.

‘But it isn’t just about the dancing, is it?’ ‘How do you feel about having to live and work as Michelle, as well?’

The conversation was back to discussing my future once again. She would only be satisfied once I’d come clean about how I felt.

‘Now that I’m getting used to the idea and wearing the clothes and makeup, I must admit that I’ve been rather enjoying myself as a girl, both at home and at work.’

‘There’s a lot more to being female than just wearing nice clothes and makeup.’

‘I realise that, but following my makeover yesterday I feel more confident and I’m no longer worried that I might give myself away, if I go out or have to talk to someone new.’

‘Would it matter that much if you did give yourself away.’

‘Yes, it would matter to me. If I’m going to be Michelle for the next few weeks, then I want to do it properly, both as a dancer and also at other times.‘

‘You seem to have slotted into the new role quite easily so far, and we both agree that you are more confident than you were either as Mike or as Michelle last week.’

‘I’ve been doing my best to look at the way girls walk, talk and gesture with their hands and to copy them, but without going too far.’

‘I noticed as we were walking here that you were beginning to move more like a girl.’

‘I’m gradually getting used to wearing high heels which encourage me to take shorter steps and gently swing my hips as I walk.’

‘You’re also using your hands in a more feminine way.’

‘Am I? I suppose I’m more conscious of them since having these nail extensions.

’I think you are doing fine. I don’t believe anyone coming in to the shop would realise that you were really a guy.’

‘I hope not but I do wonder where it is going leave me when I come to change back in mid November.’

‘We’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?’

I didn’t reply and fortunately Helen decided to change the subject.

‘What dances will you be demonstrating the Saturday after next?’ she asked.

‘The Viennese Waltz and the Quickstep.’

‘I thought that you’d already demonstrated the waltz.’

‘The Viennese waltz is the original form of the waltz which is danced to about 180 beats per minute, compared to the slower, more popular ‘English waltz’ that we demonstrated last week.’

‘Is it difficult to dance?’

‘Yes and no. It’s a rotary dance where the dancers are turning toward the leading couple’s right and then to the left, with change steps to switch the direction of rotation ,’ I said trying to demonstrate with my hands, and noticing how nice my nails now looked, as I did so.

‘That looks complicated to me.’

‘It can be danced at a basic level, but as with other ballroom dances, takes some time and effort to learn to dance really well. The true Viennese waltz consists only of turns and change steps whereas the ‘American-style’ is a little more elaborate with fleckerls, and side sway turns which are modern inventions.’

‘Fleckerls? Aren’t they a type of pasta?’ asked Helen.

I smiled

‘No, a fleckerl is a dance step, a turn which doesn’t move forwards along the dance floor but instead rotates on the spot. However, on this occasion we will be demonstrating the earlier, more formal version, where the couples do not pass one another, but turn continuously left and right while travelling anti-clockwise around the floor, following each other.’

‘It sounds very complicated.’

‘Not really. The dance requires the woman to be fairly light on her feet but is relatively easy to learn and there’s not a lot to go wrong. The other couples involved have all danced it many times before. We will just have to ensure that they are capable of following our lead. Alan and I will be trying it out tonight and we will have a full rehearsal with the others on Saturday morning.’

‘How about the Quickstep?’ Helen asked.

‘That is a little more difficult. It’s a less regulated and more light-hearted type of dance, but one which requires equally fast footwork. In some ways it is a faster version of the Foxtrot, consisting of quick stepping and syncopated feet rhythms in time to the music. The routine that I have designed is quite difficult to perform, but on this occasion only Alan and I will be dancing and so we will have to practice tonight. There will be no opportunity to hide any slips between us.’

‘Well good luck! I hope to be able to come and see you dance on Saturday week. Richard is going to show me how to operate a second video camera and wants me to film you as well, so he will be able to edit the shots together in order to make a better video clip than last time.’

‘In that case I’ll have to make sure we get it right.’

‘I do envy you, Michelle, being able to dance so well. Ballroom dancing seems so glamorous when I see it on television.’

‘It is only a question of learning the steps and a little practice. We run classes for beginners, if you are interested.’

‘I would have to find a partner anxious to learn first. Most guys that I meet would only be interested in dancing to Electronic music at clubs or at raves: house music , garage, techno, that sort of thing.’

‘I’m afraid that the clubbing and rave scenes have tended to pass me by,’ I admitted. ‘Most ballroom dancers go no further than rock ’n roll or maybe disco. I understand that the movements are not predefined and the dance is performed randomly, with dancers taking inspiration from the music or their mood. That is rather the opposite of what most ballroom dancers are seeking to achieve.’

‘Maybe, but it can be fun all the same. You should try clubbing some time, Michelle, you might find that you enjoyed it.’

‘I’d be frightened that if I danced with a guy he might be expecting something else as well, and then be in for a nasty shock,’ I said, smiling.

I wasn’t sure how I would feel about dancing with a guy in a social setting. The advantage of dancing with Alan was that he was clearly only interested in the dancing, and nothing more.

‘I don’t think you would need to worry. These days Guys don’t treat club dancing as a cattle market as they used to. If you dance with a guy and then want to dance with another, or with a girl, or just by yourself that will be fine.’

‘I’ll think about it.’

The conversation ended inconclusively as Helen and I noticed the time and hurriedly made our way back to the office.

The rest of the afternoon was busy but otherwise fairly uneventful. Everyone in the office now treated me as Michelle and there was no further reference to Mike; it was as if he had ceased to exist.