X-Why-Me?… Chapter 21

*Before…

“But this, this was really worth it Emily, god this feels so normal.”

“Well we’re hardly normal.”

“No but it’s good enough, close enough.”

Emily was going to say something else but she just felt it instead that whole push pull as she stood on her tiptoes and pulled Kira into a pretty strong kiss.

All the way into hearing her parents doing the really pointed coughing.

Her Mom was there watching red faced and her Dad there with just a grin. “Dishes done we’re breaking out Trivial Pursuit.”

She broke the kiss and looked at the kitchen. “Yeah, just give us a second and we’ll be right out.”

It only took a few moments to wipe down the sink and counter then they joined everyone in the living room sharing a space on the floor around the coffee table.

*And Now…

Emily frowned and looked at the game board.

“This really, really isn’t fair. Trivial Pursuit for you in like old people history for us.”

Kira burst out laughing as the adult’s sort of look insulted.

Okay Emily sort of started to laugh as the whole insult of it started to resonate with her mom and the look on her face was priceless.

Which made everyone actually laugh and even her mom was actually sort of cool with it.

But she was right it was all this like old stuff that they didn’t know and their parents did and so they were getting their butts kicked.

She looked over at Kira who was sitting on the floor with her semi-sideways just like she was even though she was actually equipped differently and she looked just the same as she did. And her Emily’s mom too who was sitting the same way on the couch.

Angie who was more into her tablet that playing was the only one sitting oddly doing that tweenager sitting on her knees with her legs actually bending outwards in a way that actually Emily used to do when she was younger too.

Now that kinda hurt.

She smiled at Kira who smiled back and they slipped their hands together.

Gosh Kira was still so beautiful, stunning actually Emily found herself looking at her more and more and their eyes meeting a lot during the game.

There was some eye-rolling by Angie and some looks from the parents but it was still all okay.

Even if they had been like super chaperoned.

The game was done and that was sort of the signal for like that one last adults having coffee and Kira and Emily took theirs and went out to the yard by her parents car and sipped at their coffee and leaned on the car.

Kira was looking out into the trees and she was smiling.

“I really didn’t want to come out here. I was so scared of being here and it all just being so much against me or anyone like me that I just…I am so not as tough as I act.”

Emily leaned on Kira’s side. “That makes sense, and I know you’re not as tough as you act. And y’know you don’t have to be okay?”

She shrugged. “It’s just that I met you and I had like stuff change and I’ve been through this stuff before and I kind of want to protect you.”

Emily looked over at Kira. “You know I’m good with that too right?”

Kira smiled and it was just…with the light in the night falling on her off of their porch and the whole sort of backdrop of the woods around their house and things it just sort of made Kira have this almost otherworldly look.

She was…with the hair and those eyes of hers and it was just catching so right. Emily stepped in and she kissed Kira again.

She just had to.

And kissing.

Kira smiled and actually said what was in Em’s head. “Mmm…Kissing is of the good.”

She wrapped her arms around Kira’s waist and sort of hung on to her by that and she kissed her again until he parents used the automatic car starter to sort of startle them out of making out and Emily blushed after she ended up making an Eeep sound and Kira had that look like she was so cute and more on her face.

Emily just looked back at Kira with the thought in her head of.

‘Everything will be worth it; everything will be worth it if she just keeps looking at me like that.’

There’s parental love and there’s stuff from sibs and even things from friends but when you really meet someone that see’s so much more than those bits of you and you can see it on their face it’s well.

It changes you.

Like when those science guys will say the moment that you observe someone you change it.

The minute that you experience someone else loving you it changes you because most people that haven’t felt that haven’t like felt that they were ver worthy of it.

Kira’s parents came down and they got ready and headed out and they let them have one final kiss/peck before they left and they drove out and Emily watched them go with a sigh.

A big happy sigh and she went back inside with her coffee and her mom sort of had that trying to work it all out still expression going on and her dad being a buffer between them and Angie was looking at her.

“Kira’s nice, Kira’s nice and she’s waaaaaay hotter than you so don’t mess this up dummy even if it’s like you and her doing the whole lez thing.”

Emily looked at her. “What lez thing.”

“Fast and all girly love and smoopy.”

“Smoopy?”

“Yeah Smoopy, like two puppies in love and stuff and fast. You gotta slow down cause you too are too young to be getting a U-Haul and stuff.”

“Angie!” That came from her mom.

Emily smiled both from that kinda sort of teasing from Angie and the whole amount that it sort of freaked out her mom who was still in that place between having a daughter that was actually like genetically a boy and having a daughter that’s a lesbian.

She headed down to her bedroom. “Smoopy I like that.” She said to herself as she got ready for bed and for school the next day and well thinking.

Not about all the could be’s that might really suck tomorrow but of Kira and kissing with her and then she took a bath and sank into the water thinking of taking a bath with Kira.

She closed her eyes and let her fingers drift.

Let them be Kira’s fingers.

Touching and tracing, taking soapy bubbles and leaving trails of them on her skin.

Hands touching her breasts.

Her so much more sensitive breasts now that she was taking hormone supplements and she arched in the water.

XY, XY, XY…. That certainly wasn’t getting in the way of the intense pleasure ache and not ache that felt sooo good as she touched her breasts and she felt the ache of want and need in her groin and crossed her legs in the water.

Used the meat of her thumb and forefinger to sort of be soft but firm and to mimic Kira’s mouth on her nipples…the soft skin but pressure and the kneading-suckle on her nipples.

She dreamed and dreamed until she just couldn’t stand it anymore and slid a hand down under the water and fingers in enough to find her clit.

She could still call it that right?

It wasn’t technically one; it actually didn’t have all the right parts and the formation and all of that stuff she’d been reading about. It was close but it was different.

XY, XY, XY… she gasped as the first little quake shook her down below.

Would Kira care if she wasn’t like other girls?

She hoped not, even with the way that Kira was it was one of those things…people could be funny and odd and scary even.

XY, XY, XY… Kira’s tongue…Kira’s fingers.

Emily arched.

She swore softly as she went flowing over the edge and out of herself.

Goddamn that was incredible.

She sank under the water and she held her breath thinking and feeling and trying to sort things out.

Kira knew and she knew about her and nothing had changed tonight but everything had changed tonight.

She knew about Kira.

And she knew about all of the crap that she lived through before this.

And kind of like what Kira had said she wanted to protect her too.

XY, XY, XY… Kira…girlfriend…she had a girlfriend.

XY, XY, XY…being on the team, playing and doing stuff and feeling stuff that wasn’t like the old her.

XX Emily had a whole lot of other thoughts about her life back then.

And Jack.

Oh god what an asshole why did she ever go out with him!?

XY, XY, XY… so maybe all of this is a good thing?

She surfaced and sat there for a little longer before getting out and drying off and taking a good long look at herself.

There was a lot of her there that XX Emily didn’t like about herself.

Short and not so curvy and nothing like even her little sister who was a total clone of their mom.

There was a lot to be insecure about from the XX point of view especially when you get raised around other women and girls where looks had a standard and looks meant stuff.

She turned here and there and went from side to side.

She was a girl….everything in the right places just not as much and just not as popular stuff either.

But looking at it from the whole XY place now.

That…all of it.

Well it wasn’t so bad actually.

She even pulled her hair back, looked and checked she headed back into her bedroom and slipped into bed.

She really needed to think about this some more.

A lot more.

But maybe, maybe she was more than either of those two little letters.

The thoughts felt like progress.

And she went to bed smiling.