In the morning, Nathan didn’t feel the least bit rested. He was struggling to keep his eyes open even in the shower. If he didn’t perk up soon, he was going to have a hard time staying awake through his morning classes.

Shampoo, conditioner… where’s…?

There was no body wash on the shelf in the shower.

I don’t use body wash, Nathan realized, groaning. It was going to be one of those days, wasn’t it? He grabbed a bar of soap and scrubbed himself down quickly.

A knock at the door, his mother, let him know that he was running out of time before the bus came. Nathan turned off the water and got out, grabbing a towel from the rack. He rubbed himself dry, but paused when he saw his stomach. It looked different… flatter? Sure, being Chinese, Nathan had always been smaller and thinner than other boys (much to their amusement and playful mockery), but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was… wrong about him.

Again there was a knocking at the door, much more hurried this time. Nathan threw on his clothes and grabbed his toothbrush. At least, he thought it was his toothbrush. It was a different color than he remembered.

So it was going to be one of those days.

Morning bus rides were always pretty quiet, which gave Nathan a bit more time to rest his eyes before school actually started. Before he knew it, though, he was stuck in first period trying to pay attention to Geometry problems.

As he worked, Nathan found himself chewing on his pencil’s eraser. It tasted like rubber and that was disgusting; he wasn’t quite sure why he was doing it. It wasn’t a habit he’d ever had before today. But every time that he made himself stop, he would inevitably find himself chewing on his eraser again.

Maybe if I had some gum, he though, watching a girl discretely pull a stick from her purse. School rules about gum in class aside, it would be nice to have anything that could keep him from chewing his eraser.

But that wasn’t the only thing distracting him from doing the problems on his paper. Other things kept drawing his attention as well, like how the walls were two different shades of white, or the way the teacher’s feet were too big for the heels she was wearing.

“Chan!” the teacher called, jerking Nathan back to attention. She had written a question up on the board, and Nathan hadn’t gotten to around to answering that one yet.

Shit, he thought.

“Fourteen?” he guessed. There were a couple of guffaws from around the room, and the teacher rolled her eyes.

Mrs. Davis said something about paying more attention, but Nathan was already embarrassed enough without her helpful scolding.

By the time lunch finally rolled around, though, he was actually feeling a lot better. When he got out of the lunch line with his food, his friends had already made it to their usual table. He sat down next to Kyle and across from Jesse. Gavin gave him the briefest of “hello”s before going back to what he was saying before.

“Look,” Gavin said, “If the coach lets Ryans onto the team next year, we’re screwed. End of story. The guy can’t pass for shit.”

“He doesn’t have to pass,” Jesse said, “He just has to stand on the line and shoot when he gets the ball.”

“You’re just worried about not making it onto the team next year,” Kyle retorted, pointing an accusatory finger at Gavin.

“As if that were something I actually had to worry about. Weren’t you going to try out for the lacrosse team?”

“I thought about it. I’m gonna spend the summer working at the auto shop. Chicks dig a guy who can fix cars.”

Nathan let out an internal groan.

But Gavin was quick to remind Kyle: “Last year you said that you were going to work as a chef for the summer, so you could open up your own restaurant. Something about ‘girls love a guy who can cook,’ right?”

Nathan bit his lip.

Kyle snorted and asked, “And I suppose both of you already got a girl for Valentine’s Day?”

“You know it,” Jesse said, “You know Danielle? The cheerleader?”

“That slut?” Kyle asked, trying to hold in a laugh. “You want to catch something?”

Nathan winced. His palms were hurting. Looking down, he saw his hands clenched into tight fists. He quickly relaxed, dropping his fork in the process.

“What about you?”

Nathan’s heart sank, but Kyle was looking at Gavin.

“I’m thinking about someone,” Gavin replied.

“Who?”

Nathan watched Gavin curiously. He looked embarrassed, like he didn’t want them to know who he was thinking of.

“It’s not important,” he said, “By the way, do either of you know what Mr. Gonzalez is putting on the test?”

And Nathan gave a small sigh of relief. He didn’t like the way his friends put so much a focus on getting girls. He just wished he could find a girlfriend for himself.

He turned and scanned the cafeteria for any girls that caught his interest. There was one blonde girl whom he recognized from his next period, but he couldn’t remember her name. She was sitting at a table with two other girls, both brunettes.

Kyle started coughing, getting Nathan’s attention. He assured them all that he was fine, but Nathan continued to watch him as he ate. Not because he was afraid that Kyle would choke on something else, though. He was looking at Kyle’s arms. They were just so hairy. And his hands seemed so big.

Nathan discreetly glanced at his own hands. They were freaking tiny by comparison. Yeah, sure, he had always been smaller than his friends, but his hands were small. Small like his mother’s hands. And even his father had noticeable hair on his arms, but Nathan’s weren’t like that at all.

The bell rang, signaling that it was time to go. Nathan cast one last glance over at the blonde girl’s table, but she was already gone. Maybe he’d say something to her during class.

Nathan put away the last of his homework with a light “hallelujah!” He’d finished everything he’d had to do and no one else was even home yet. Maybe it was time for a little break, to relax before he got started on his chores.

As he approached the bookshelf, however, Nathan thought there were a few less games on the top shelf than he remembered. It had always seemed packed, difficult to get any game off or back on, but now there was quite a bit of space between the games.

But that wasn’t what he was looking for anyway. On the next shelf down were a few books mixed in with mostly magazines. That seemed… odd. Like he couldn’t remember having reading books on his… bookshelf.

He grabbed a book at random—The Perks of Being a Wallflower—off the shelf. Or at least he thought it was at random. There was a bookmark sticking out of it, though he couldn’t quite remember the last time he had read it. He could barely remember what it was about.

Nathan sat back down in his chair and opened the book to the marked page. As he read, he knew he had read this all before, even though it felt… weird. He couldn’t shake the feeling he knew more about the book than he was supposed to.