You know, doing this blog, I've noticed that some entries are easier for me to write than others. In today's case, its super hard, so please be kind.
I had a good conversation with my pastor Tuesday. First we talked a little about the meltdown I had at church two Sundays ago, then we talked about a number of subjects including my past, my present, and my hoped for future.
It was in regard to the last that she wanted to give me some ideas to think about, especially in two main areas of concern.
The first is my weight. If I really want the surgery, I'm going to have to get my weight under control, which wont be easy, because, frankly, I love rich fatty foods and hate the taste of almost anything healthy. I also have a difficult relationship with food - I've used it to comfort me when I was down, to stimulate me when I was bored, and to buld a sheild of fat so I wouldn't be attractive to men. So in that regard, my pastor has suggested I contact Overeaters Anonymous and get some help, so I plan to do that, and I'm hoping to get support here.
The other issue is sometimes I fall into a "pity party", and its not helping me make the progress I want to see. I've made some progress in terms of develping an attitude of gratitude, which will help, but I'm going to have to get in the habit of shorting out that kind of thinking whenever I start to get into it. So if you guys catch me falling into that state, give me a gentle nudge, okay?
Comments
Taste of food
Essentially, the body likes what it is used to. Your taste buds are used to certain levels of fat, sugar and salt and anything else will taste bleh.
You will need to retrain your taste buds to adjust to things that you perhaps don't think taste so good now, and to do this you must move slowly. Gradually you will adapt to less of the things that aren't doing you good and you'll like more of the things that (allegedly) are doing you good.
I went throught this in the '70s, when there was a brief sugar shortage in the UK. At that time I was a 2 spoons-in-every-cup person but I made myself put in 1 3/4, 1 1/2, 1 1/4 and so on until I ended up putting none in at all - and discovered I could actually taste what I was drinking. (Oh, and we saved a lot of money!)
In the 80's my partner had some problems with blood pressure and we had to reduce the salt content in our cooked food: we don't use any at all now and most processed foods taste awful. Gradual reduction was the method we used again.
Ditto with fats. Cholesterol levels mean we use less fats in cooking and on bread - although we both eat reasonable amounts of cheese, for the other nutrients - and I've almost gotten used to the taste of not having so much.
So it can be done, it just takes time and the willingness to accept that your food will taste a little strange for a few weeks.
Penny
PS Of course, finding foods with lower levels of sugar, salt or fat are another battle entirely...
Weight under control
With no fat is hard to look feminine. Maybe your weight is your merit.
I kind of disagee with that,,,
As a man I maxed ou at 275. Looking like a man in a dress is kind of a deep issue for me so before SRS I got down to under 160 pounds. Depression, a botched surgery, and other things have gotten me back up to 195. Something I noticed loosing weight the first time is when I gained (it was a two steps forward one step back process) it went to the right places, when I lost ditto.
Dot, it is not just what you eat, but exercise too. Find something, anything, to burn calories. I walk myself.
You have a cheering section in me. Also a fellow struggler.
A number of things you can do
There are a number of things you can do and what it boils down to is finding something that works for you and you can tolerate.
I've been trying to avoid taking meds for diabetes. A couple of years ago, my A1c ( the blood test that measures how well your body tolerates sugar [carbs] ) shot up to 6.9. Normal is < 5.7. My doctor told me that if it reached 7.0 she'd have to put me on meds. Not good, since I'm a truck driver and diabetic meds are something they take a close look at in considering if you're fit to drive the big rigs.
She had been after me for a while to get a handle on my carbohydrate intake. So I looked at my daily eating habit and found a way to pull 500 calories a day out of my diet without really making it a "diet" so I didn't feel like I was really making a sacrifice.
What I did was to cut out crackers in the soup that I ate for lunch every day. For most people that wouldn't amount to much but for me... will I put enough crackers in my soup to soak up all the liquid. I also quit putting sugar on my morning cereal. It took a couple of weeks to discover that most of them had a natural sweetness that the two teaspoons of sugar was covering up. (Shredded wheat and oatmeal are two exceptions still need a little sugar there, but not the two teaspoons from before.)
The result is I lost 37 pounds over 18 months and my A1c went down to 6.3. Diabetics try to keep it under 6.7.
As to the salt issue: Salt causes the body to retain water. I'll bet that 20% of your weight is retained water. We cut salt and, in most instances, replaced it with onion powder. Onion powder NOT onion salt. And I agree, processed foods really don't taste good anymore. I used to love potato chips ("bet you can't eat just one,") well I couldn't, but now I really don't care for them.
Another thing I've done is nearly cut out all fast food. No more burger and fries. If I'm forced to get something at a fast food restaurant, I go for the grilled fish or grilled chicken and throw away the bun.
Point is, be creative. As was said before teach yourself to enjoy the taste of the food that's good for you. I know, I know, when watching any one eat a salad, I've always said, "That looks way to healthy. My body would reject it." I'm still working on my weight. So I need to get my body to not reject the healthy food. That rejection is 99% in my mind and 1% in my taste buds. educate the taste buds and reject the rejection and go ahead and eat. Remember what they said to Mikey, "Try it, you'll like it."
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann