"You know something else , Steve?" she asked, after a little pause, only disturbed by the general sounds of the ward and the gurgle of Bekka feeding. "What's that?" I wondered, while I gently smoothed my daughter's hair. "Even in those jeans and that sweatshirt you still look very female," she replied. A Mother's Love Part 11 - Conclusion by Alys

I sat in the chair next to Mary's bed. Since yesterday when I had seen her before my 'date' with Jonathan, she had further improved and had been moved back onto the ward with three other women.

Bekka sucked hungrily on me, taking her mid-morning feed.

"She looks contented there Steve," said Mary after a few moments of silence while I had settled Bekka to suckle.

"Yes, it is a lovely feeling, such a close bond, I'm so sorry that you can't Mary," I said.

"I can't wait to get home," she stated.

"It will be lovely to have you there," I said smiling.

The general mood of everyone in the family had been enormously lifted by the news that Mary's new HIV drug protocol was having a great effect in improving her immune system. As a result her cancer seemed also to be responding to treatment now. When she had asked her doctors what her prognosis was they had said that they needed more tests to be sure but that she had a very good chance of living another year.

"You know something, Steve?"

"What's that?" I asked.

"I thought I wouldn't live to even see Bekka smile but now I should see her crawling," she replied.

"Yes," I responded smiling, imagining the two of us cheering our daughter when she finally started crawling around the house and leaving havoc in her wake.

"There is only one problem," I said smiling.

"What," Mary asked, looking

"Maybe she won't crawl." I said looking a little serious.

"Why, is there something wrong with Bekka?" Mary asked anxiously.

"Well, it's like this, maybe she won't crawl because she..." I replied, with the slightest of pauses," will be a bottom shuffler!"

"You are SO dead, Steven Jones!" Mary hissed at me.

We both laughed.

"You know something else , Steve?" she asked, after a little pause, only disturbed by the general sounds of the ward and the gurgle of Bekka feeding.

"What's that?" I wondered, while I gently smoothed my daughter's hair.

"Even in those jeans and that sweatshirt you still look very female," she replied.

I smiled at her.

"Although I suppose the fact that the sweatshirt is pink, the jeans are mine, there are highlights in your hair and you are wearing subtle make-up might strongly influence in how people perceive you," she continued, laughing.

I joined in the merriment, it was so lovely to hear the sound of my wife being happy again after the weeks and weeks of illness and depression.

"Anyway so your hot date got past first base then?" Mary asked coyly, referring to the basic description, of my night out, I had given her a few minutes earlier.

My face reddened again, the second time in five minutes.

"I'm sorry about that, it must have been the wine and the stress, I don't know what came over me" I replied feeling a bit flustered.

"It's OK, my sweet," she said softly, putting her hand gently on my arm," I guess I shouldn't have put you in that situation, I just thought it would be interesting for you to see the other side of the fence, even for only once in your life"

"Yes, I guessed that might have been part of the deal," I responded, before putting my free hand over hers and caressing it.

Bekka, in her usual style, decided that Mummy and Daddy's tender moment had gone on too long and spat my nipple out to announce the official end of baby lunchtime.

Unfortunately a few drops of my milk leaked onto her eye before I could move her away and soon our precious charge was informing everyone of her mistreatment, at aircraft take off decibel levels. I quickly readjusted my clothes and took my little one out of the ward, while Andrea and George took over the visitors' seats.

In a few minutes I had restored the equilibrium between myself and Bekka and she was sleeping gently in my arms. I was about to return to the ward to put her back in her chair when I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I flicked it open for the text message.

"Can I c u 4 a few minutes, just to talk, pls, Jon"

I was so surprised that I almost dropped the phone. After his revelation after our night out we had had a brief discussion on the doorstep and then he had gone. I thought that I would never hear from him again, but now a message.

I was a little intrigued about why he wanted to see me and was also curious because he hadn't yet explained how he had found out my real identity.

I replied.

"In café in 5 mins?"

"kk"

I walked quickly back to the ward and then, after leaving Bekka in her chair and briefly explaining the situation to Mary, made my way to the café.

I spotted Jonathan sitting at a small table, a little away from the main dining area. He spotted me just before I reached him and stood up to greet me. We lightly shook hands.

"I took the liberty of ordering you a black coffee," he said.

"Thanks," I responded.

There was an awkward silence between us for a minute or so, then he looked at me, directly in my face.

"Thank you for coming, Steph...Ste...oh no, I don't know what to call you now," he said.

"It might make it easier if you call me what you feel comfortable calling me, for the moment," I responded.

"In that case, thank you for coming to see me Stephanie," he said, smiling.

"It's not a problem, Jonathan," I responded.

"It's strange though, if I didn't know better I would say that you were one of the most attractive women in this room," he said.

"Jonathan, you know that's not the kind of remark I am looking for, but in a way it is a kind of compliment for my dressing up skills," I said," but tell me, why did you want to see me?"

"I wanted to explain my behaviour, yesterday, and apologise," he replied.

"Well I think it's best forgotten," I said gently," we both had maybe a little too much to drink, under the circumstances, and got carried away in the heat of the moment"

"It was a little more than that to me," Jonathan said, after a few seconds of silence.

"What do you mean?" I asked, wondering where the conversation was going.

"Listen, when I first met you on Sunday, I was first of all struck by your beauty, and then by your vibrant personality and finally by your heroism at supporting, what you said was, your sister in such a life changing way," he replied, looking at me quite intensely.

"I was pleased to be able to help you with your sister, but part of that was in the hope of seeing you again"

"OK, I understand that, even though it is all so strange to me," I said.

"But then," the handsome doctor continued," I found out your real identity when I read through your wife's notes to completely understand your condition more completely."

"How did you find out?" I asked.

"Well, I thought it was a bit odd that her husband and her sister should be using more or less the same name, Steve and Stevie. So, just in case there was more to the situation that appeared at first, I did a little research on the Internet. Your workplace has a nice recent picture of you on their website"

"Oh, I see, I hope no-one else has worked it out," I said anxiously.

"Don't worry, it isn't that obvious and I haven't told anyone," he reassured me.

Jonathan then explained how, after being surprised by me contacting him to accept the 'date', he had gone along out of curiosity, as a little personal test. But somehow by the end of the evening he had almost completely forgotten who I really was. He had felt deeply attracted to my apparent persona and it was her that he had wished to see again. He apologised again and stood up to leave.

"Listen, Jonathan, you're welcome to contact us when you come to London, we know some interesting clubs, and I would love to hear how you get on in the HIV unit in the Royal Free Hospital," I said.

"I'll do that, I promise," he responded, before shaking my hand and wishing Mary and I good luck.

I sat in the café for a few more minutes while I finished my coffee and pondered the strangeness of being perceived as the other gender. I took my cup back to the dirty cutlery trays and then walked at an even pace back to Mary's ward.

The beam on Andrea's face was so wide, when she saw me coming in, I thought her face might crack at the edges. George and Mary were also both looking very cheerful.

"What is it?" I asked.

"We had the tests ......and..." spluttered Andrea, finding it difficult to clearly express herself in her happiness.

"Do you mean Mary's tests?" I asked with a note of excitement in my voice. How good could they have been I wondered.

"It's really good news," answered George, speaking slowly and carefully so that the full impact of the news was made," the cancer is definitely responding to the treatment, and since Mary's doctors now think that it is only borderline stage 1 and stage 2 then there 70-90% chance of her surviving at least five years"

I stood astonished at the fantastically hopeful information.

"WOW, wow, that's wonderful," I said, loudly enough so that most of the other visitors and patients glanced at me.

"Come on George, let's you and me take Bekka for a little walk and leave Steve and Mary to talk alone," said Andrea, picking up Bekka in her chair and attaching it to her buggy.

I sat down next to my healing spouse and we held hands in silence for a few minutes.

"You know another thing, Steve," asked Mary.

"What?" I responded.

"You're much more important as a carer for Bekka than me in so many ways," she replied.

"Don't be silly you bore her and gave birth, that was the hardest work of all," I responded.

"And anyway...." I continued.

"What?" Mary asked

"You know that now, between us, we can give Bekka what every baby needs plenty of.....a mother's love"