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Synopsis: Things are starting to look up for Chris, although his recovery has been slow, many things have started to change and his outlook on live is one of them. His doctor has approved his decision to start the process towards becoming a girl, and although somewhat reluctant his parents have also agreed to allow him to begin the process.

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It has been four week now since I was admitted to the hospital, my recover has been coming along, although not as quickly as I would like. I was hoping that I would have been able to start the process of becoming a girl, but even though Dr. Leblanc approved me, there are still steps that I must take before starting the process. Sarah has been a huge help though everything.

Although my parents have been a bit distant since the meeting with Dr. Leblanc, I think they're hoping that I will change my mind, but there isn't much chance of that. I still can't help but feel guilty for what I am putting them through, I know that dad is disappointed although he hasn't said anything directly to me but I can see it in his eyes.

It seems that the only one in the family that is really happy for me is Sarah, I think she has the next couple of weeks planned out for me once I return home, I have a lot to learn and she plans on teaching me everything. April and I have been talking about meeting up after I get out of the hospital.

I am kind of nervous about seeing her. I am still not sure if I should tell her the truth about who I am and what my plans for the future are, she is really the only friend I have right now that knows me as a girl, and I am afraid if she knew the truth she might not want anything to do with me.

Dr. Gettings was in to see me also, he plans on removing the stitches tomorrow, and I should be discharged later in the day, I am looking forward to finely going home and spending time with my family outside of the hospital. I am also kind of scared, and as far as school goes, I am not sure what is going to happen there, I really have been thinking hard and trying to figure out the best course of action. Do I return to my old school or change schools?

Then there is one other problem, I spend way too much time worrying about things, I need to find something to occupy my mind. I thought to myself as I climbed out of bed and grabbed the walking cane Greg had giving me at my last Physiotherapy session and started walking towards the family room. I thought maybe I would play the piano or watch the television for a while.

Walking was easier now then it was before, Greg was right after four weeks of Physiotherapy, sure I had to use a cane, and for support but at least I was walking under my own power. I still dealt with the dizziness though, and it took a lot of concentration to even walk a straight line at times I would drift off and have to catch myself, one of the tricks Greg had taught me was to pick a spot head of myself and lock my eyes on it as I walked then when I reach the spot I was concentrating on then choose another one this helped me walk a straight line.

I eventually made my way into the family room, it was empty at the moment, just the way I liked it. I loved playing the piano but usually. I played it when the room was empty because I didn't want to disturb the other patients that were using the room. I took a seat at the piano and started playing the song Creep, by Radiohead and singing the words.

I loved the lyrics to the song, but I didn't really like the way the original band played the song, my musical tastes have always leaned more towards country music then rock. I so played it like I would a country song, and slowed it down and put more emphasis on the words of the song.

As I played a couple of girls came into the room, they were both also on my ward. The two of them watched me playing and talked amongst themselves. When I came to the end of the songs one of them said, "That was really nice, I am Tracy and this is my friend Julie."

"Hi Tracy, Julie, my name is Christine, it's nice to meet you both." I said with a smile.

"It's nice to meet you too Christine, do you know any Adele songs?" asked Tracy.

"I know a few want me to play one?" I asked.

"Do you know Rolling in the deep" Julie asked me.

"I can give it a try it's not one I play often, and I might mess up the words but let's give it a try" I said truthfully and then started playing and singing the song, Rolling in the deep. When I reached the end of the song I said to myself that I needed to practice the song more, I knew that I could do a better job singing it, if I worked on my timing.

"That was pretty good", Tracy said with a smile.

"It needs some work my timing was off in a few places." I said frowning.

"Still it was good for a first attempt", Julie said with a smile.

"Well that's enough playing for today, so what are you girls up to?" I asked

"Were just to visit my sister, the nurse is changing her bandages right now so we thought we would wait here until she's free." Julie said then took a seat on the couch.

I grabbed hold of my cane and made my way over to the chair across from them and slowly sat down."

"So what are you in for?" asked Tracy.

"I had a brain tumor, they caught it just in time, I have been here now for a little over 4 weeks, I should be going home tomorrow, I hope so anyway." I said with a smile.

"That's a long time to be cooped up in here, but you look pretty good for someone that has been through major surgery." Julie said with a grin.

"It's been a long process, and I still have always to go, at least I am able to get around now under my own power now, even if I have to use a cane, it's only temporary." I said with a smile.

"Do you live near here?" Tracy asked me.

"I live in Burnaby, It's about a 10 minute drive from here I guess."

"That's not far Tracy and I live behind the Lougheed Town Centre." Julie explained.

"I live further up, just off of North Road." I said with a smile.

"Cool you're like 15 minutes from us Julie and me." Tracy said with a grin.

"Where do you go to school?" asked Julie.

"I was attending Burnaby North Secondary, but I don't think that I will be returning after this semester." I explained.

"You might end up at our school then." Tracy said with a smile.

"That would be cool, we can all be friends." Julie said excitedly.

"What school do you both attend?" I asked.

"We attend Burnaby Central Secondary" Tracy said with a smile.

"That is likely where I will end up it not too far from home and it would nice to start school somewhere that I knew a few people, being the new kid always sucks." I said with a smile.

"I can imagine", Julie said frowning.

"Some things happened, it's kind of personal so I don't really go into it, but I think it would be best to have a fresh start somewhere else." I said sadly

"Well whatever your reason are you're more than welcome at our school", Tracy said with a smile.

The three of us talked for a few more minutes, and exchanged numbers. Once I was out of the hospital the three of us would arrange to meet up somewhere. They were there to visit Julie's sister after all, so we said our good byes.

After they left I returned to the piano and tried playing another Adele song, it was called someone like you, this was one of her songs that I knew well and had sung it many times, so the timing wasn't going to be a problem. As I played I was surprised when I saw Sarah and mom enter the room and take a seat on the couch, I continued on with the song until It was finished.

"Mommy, Sarah I good to see you" I said with a smile and made my way over to where they were sitting and joined them

"I thought we would find you in here." Sarah said with a smile.

"If I am not in my room you can usually find me here, playing the piano." I said with a grin

"You sounded pretty good honey." Mom said with a smile.

"Thanks mommy" I said giving her a hug.

"Where is Daddy?" I asked mom.

"He had to work today, but he said that he would see you tonight." Mom explained.

"So how's dad really doing, he has been pretty distant toward me lately?" I asked mom.

"He's still having a hard time with things honey, I am too you're just going to have to give us some time to learn to deal with everything." Mom explained.

"I am sorry to have to put the both of you through all this." I said sadly.

"It's not your fault honey you never asked for any of this to happen. Your father and I both love you and were here for you no matter what." Mom said then leaned over and gave me a hug and kiss.

"So you must be really excited about coming home tomorrow." asked Sarah.

"I can't wait, my bags are already packed and I am pretty much ready to leave now." I said with a grin.

"Have the physiotherapist contact you yet mom?" I asked her.

"Yes honey, they call the other day, you have an appointment next Wednesday at 3pm, but the way you are improving I doubt you will need it very much longer." Mom said with a big smile.

"I guess you can chop my recovery up to being young, wild and insane." I said with a smile.

"Well I agree with the insane part." Sarah said giggling and was rewarded with a cushion across the back of the head.

""Enough of that girls, don't make me call your father." mom said laughing

Had I heard mom right, did she just call me a girl?" I looked over at her kind of surprised.

"I think that we both know Christine that you're going to eventually start the process of becoming a girl, and eventually have the operation, so I might as well get used to having another daughter."

"You're right mom I don't intend to remain a boy any longer than necessary."

"There are some things we need to work out first though." I said to mom.

"Like what?" asked mom.

"School is going to be an issue, everyone knows me as a boy although I don't have many friends there, and I do have people who will make my life a living hell. This is why I think it would be best for me to change schools. Burnaby Central is nearby so I think that I should start attending School there next semester. That way I can have a fresh start and not have to worry about my past." I explained to mom.

"You might be right Christine, but don't forget we still have to break the news to the rest of the family and some of them might not be as receptive as your father and I were." Mom said sadly.

"I've giving this a lot of thought, I know what I am doing isn't going to be easy, and there will be people that are not going to understand, but I really don't care. This is my life and I have a right to be happy if they don't like it, then they are the ones with the problem not me." I said firmly.

"Just remember your father and I have your back no matter what happens." Mom said with a smile.

"And you know Christine I will always be here for you." Sarah said and gave my hand a squeeze.

"I don't deserve to have the two of you, but I am grateful for everything you both done for me." I said as tears ran down the side of my face.

"Christine, you need to understand something, I have always been proud of you, and I am even more so now. What you're doing isn't easy and there is bound to be some rough times ahead of you, but for the first time in years I have seen you happy and looking towards the future."

"If you're right then you have always been a girl, and I can understand how hard it must have been for you, but you have a chance to make things right, so whatever happen, don't give up on that dream and keep fighting until you get what you want, and when things get tough, come to me." Mom said with a smile.

Mom and Sarah stayed for another hour before they had to leave, Mom had to leave so she would make it home in time to make supper, and Sarah had homework that she needed to finish. After saying out good byes they left for home and I headed back to my bedroom.

 

Supper wasn't anything special, one chicken breast, and white rise, both tasted like they were kept warm under a heat lamp all afternoon. Thank god that I would be returning home tomorrow. Mom wasn't the best cook in the world but her meals at least had flavor and the portions were larger, not that I wanted to put on weight.

I liked the weight that I was at right now. It made it easier for me to look like a girl, before I got sick I was slightly overweight, which would have made things harder for me when it came to transitioning from a boy to a girl.

If I was careful and took care of myself once I started hormones, I would start to fill out in all the right places and like any other girls I wanted guys to be attracted to me and most of the guys I knew seem to be only interested in girls that looked good.

Maybe it was kind of bad thinking like that, but I am a teenager and peer pressure seems to determine everything, the people you date, the crowd you hang out with, and ever many of the decisions you make are based on what other people will think. As a boy, I was on the lowest end of the social scale, I had no real friends, and anyone that wanted to be friends with me would have been committing social suicide.

How this happened I have no idea, it just happened over time, I guess it started in elementary and carried through to Junior High and then High school. Over time I accepted the fact that I was better off alone, there were less complications, and I didn't have to risk getting hurt.

I know now that I wasn't really living I was just surviving. Life is about taking risks, sometime you get hurt, but unless you're willing to try nothing good ever happens and nothing ever changes. That was a lesson I had just learned, I took a risk coming out to Sarah and my family, and in the end things worked out for the best.

 
 

 
 

After barely touching my supper, I heard my cellphone ringing, and grabbed it off of the table and saw that it was April calling, so I hit the answer button.

"Hi April, how are you doing?" I asked.

"I am doing pretty good Chrissy, how are you doing?"

"Good I am going home tomorrow, and I can't wait to get out of here."

April laughed, "Yeah I know exactly what you mean, although at times I still feel like I am in the hospital." April said sadly.

"What's going on?" I asked her.

"It's mom she is still treating me like I am going to break if I do anything, half the time, she doesn't even want me to leave the house, because I might catch a cold, its driving me crazy I just want to be normal like everyone else." April explained.

"That's rough, I know how you feel though, since my operation I haven't really been able to do hardly anything and I can't even use my own room when I go home, my parents are worried I will fall and hurt myself, so I have to share my sister's room." I explained to April.

"It's not as bad as your situation, because you are fine now and able to do things, I can see your mother point though about something's, like visiting me at the hospital, you would be putting yourself at risk of catching something but I don't see any reason why you shouldn't leave the house and hangout with your friends April."

"To be honest with you Chrissy, I really don't have many friends, when you're sick like I have been making friends can be hard because you spend most of your time locked up at home or in the hospital." April said sadly.

"Sorry April, I never realized how hard it must have been for you, but I hope you consider me a friend, because I consider you one. " I said feeling bad for my friend.

"Thanks Chrissy, I feel the same way, I don't know what it is but, whenever I talk to you I always seem to feel better."

"I feel the same way, maybe it's because I don't have many friends either." I explained.

"Really I find that hard to believe Chrissy."

"It's true April I don't really have any friends accept for you. I am hoping that will change but at the moment that is how things are."

"There are other reasons to and I will share them with you eventually." I said frowning.

"Why can't you tell me now?" April asked.

"It's complicated April, and I would rather talk to you in person about."

"Alright Chrissy, when you're ready you can tell me."

"Well I have to get going supper is ready, give me a call once you're settled Chrissy."

"Sure thing, you have a good night April, and I will talk to you tomorrow sometime."

"Talk to you tomorrow Chrissy, and try not to overdo It.", April said before hanging up.

 
 

 
 

It was almost 6 PM when I heard a knock on my door when I look up I saw dad coming inside, "Daddy you made it." I said with a big smile.

"I am sorry that I haven't been around much honey"

"It's alright Daddy, you're here now."

"Are you ready to come home tomorrow Christine?" Dad said with a smile.

"Yes Daddy, I can't wait to get out of here and start living my life again."

"I will be glad to have you home too Christine, the place doesn't seem the same without you there."

"You can call me Chrissy, if you want, I prefer it to Christine."

"How about the two of us go for a drive Chrissy?" Dad said with a smile.

"I would like that", I said with a smile.

"Why don't you get dressed and I will let the nurse know that the two of us are going out for a while Chrissy." Dad said then left me alone so I could get dressed.

 
 

As I got dressed I couldn't help but feel happy that dad was trying to understand and even trying to treat me like I was a girl. I knew that it wasn't easy for him but he was at least making an effort and that was all that mattered. I thought to myself as I slipped into the blue track suite that Sarah had loaned me.

I spent a few minutes fixing my hair, then grabbed my cane and made my way over to the lobby where I found dad waiting for me. "Ready Chrissy?" he said with a smile.

"I am ready Daddy, let's get out of here." I said with a smile.

Even though I could walk now with the use of a cane I still wasn't strong enough to walk for any real distance, so we still had to bring the wheel chair with us, which dad used to bring me to his car, I was able climb inside now without any help.

Dad once again placed the wheel chair into the trunk and then climbed into the driver's side and started the car and put it in drive. "Where are we going Daddy?"

"I thought that we would just take a drive Chrissy and maybe grab something to eat."

"Sounds like fun, it's been awhile since the two of us did anything." I said sadly.

"That's true honey, I wish that I could be around more but it's hard sometimes."

"I understand Daddy you're doing the best you can right now."

"Chrissy can I ask you something, I know that I haven't been around much, but do you think it would have made any difference, if I had been?"

"No Daddy, this has nothing to do with you, there has always been something inside of me that didn't quite fit, I have never really thought of myself as a boy."

"It took me a long time to understand why I was different from other boys and eventually accept the fact that I was a girl. The hardest thing I ever did was tell you and mom the truth, because I was so afraid that you would turn your back on me and I would be completely alone."

"Your mother and I could never turn our backs on you Chrissy, you're our daughter, and I think that I finely understand, I never really did have a son."

"No Daddy, I have always been a girl and always will be." I said with a smile.

"But on the bright side just because I am a girl doesn't mean that I don't enough doing things with you daddy, Chris and I are the same person we both have the same likes and dislikes. The only difference is Christine is the real me." I said with a grin.
 
 

 
 

Dad and I pulled into the McDonalds Drive throw, and dad ordered us two bacon double cheeseburger meals and then found a spot to park.

"This is really nice Daddy", I said as then took a bite from my burger.

"What is nice honey, the food?" Dad said with a smile.

"No silly, being here with you Daddy."

"Just don't tell your sister she'll be jealous." Dad said with a smile.

"Guess that I will have to tell her then, she'll think I am your favorite now." I said giggling.

"Chrissy I don't have a favorite, I love the both of you the same." Dad said with a smile.

"Did mom tell you about where I want to go to school?"

"I think that it's a good idea, nobody knows you there, and I think it will be easier this way."

"Well I already know a few girls that go to the school but they only know me as Christine."

"When did that happen?" Dad asked.

"Today, one of the girls was at the hospital visiting her sister and the three of us got talking and I mentioned that I was thinking about changing schools."

"Oh I see that was fast" Dad said after taking a bite from his burger.

"They offered to show me around and introduce me to their friends, they seem nice enough and the three of us seemed to have a lot in common."

"Well it's good to see that you're starting to make some friends Chrissy."

"We better be getting you back to the hospital honey, it's almost 8pm and I have to work in the morning and besides you will be coming home tomorrow anyway."

 

After arriving back at the hospital dad took me took me back to my and left a few minutes later, the two of us had a good outing, which gave us a chance to really talk things out. He seem to be back to himself again and I had a good feeling about how things were working out the only thing that bothered me was the fact that Dr. Leblanc wanted me to wait off for a bit before doing anything.

I already knew that I needed to see a specialist before I could start talking hormone, I was fine with that but I didn't really see the need to keep pretending to be a boy, I knew without a doubt that I could pass as a girl already because I have been doing that for a while now.

All I really needed was my own clothes and makeup, my hair was already long enough and just needed to be styled to look more feminine. I really didn't need hormones for this, I already knew about the real life test all I wanted to do is start it early. I thought to myself as I undressed and slipped into my pajamas then climbed into bed, I was feeling pretty tire out and fell asleep within minutes.
 
 

 
 

I woke up to the sound of the foot card being wheeled into my room and the attending setting the tray down on the small table next to my bed, I thought to myself that today was the day I was finely going home. It's seemed like I had been locked up in this place much longer then I really had.

Slowly I pulled myself up into a sitting position and pulled the table over to my bed, let's see what the mystery breakfast is today I said aloud and removed the cover. One hardboiled egg and two pieces of toast, and a bowl of something that resembled oatmeal and of course just what I wanted a nice cup of tea.

I think this is their way of telling me to go home, I thought to myself as I took the plastic spoon and tried to crack open the egg and only succeeded in breaking the spoon in half. There was really one course of action, I pulled myself out of bed and got dressed then slowly made my way over to my wheel chair.

The can was good for short distances, but where I was headed I needed all the extra support I could get. It took me a few minutes but I reached the elevator, and made my way downstairs to the main floor and then headed to the cafeteria, surely they didn't serve there employees or visitors the same crap that they served us patients. I was right the food quality in the cafeteria was much better I made my way over to the counter and order eggs and bacon, hash browns and two pieces of toast, and a bottle of orange juice to wash it down. After getting my breakfast I sat it on my lap the rolled the chair over to an empty table and set down my tray and then rolled the chair in a little closer to the table.

As I took a bit of my eggs I thought to myself, this is how breakfast should be, everything cooked fresh and not kept under a heating lamp. I was enjoy my breakfast when I heard a voice from being me, "Chrissy what are you doing down here." It was Physiotherapist Greg.

"I guess that I am busted", I said with a smile.

"Don't worry I won't tell." He said with a smile.

"Sorry I keep calling you Chrissy, for some reason Chrissy is the first thing that comes to mind." Greg said frowning.

"I wouldn't worry too much about it Greg, at the moment the name on my identification is under Chris Roberts, but I that will be changed, to Christine soon." I said softly.

"You're kidding me right?" asked Greg.

"Look at me do I really look like a boy?" I said quietly.

"I know from your file it says you are, but honestly I don't see a boy when I look at you." Greg said quietly.

"That is because I am not a boy Greg, at least not mentally. I have been seeing doctor while I have been in the hospital and she agrees with me. I will eventually be starting hormone replacement therapy and in time I will have the operation." I explained.

"You're the first person I met that is transgendered Chrissy, How long have you known that you were a girl?" asked Greg as he joined me at the table.

"I knew that I was different from other boys from the beginning, but It's only recently that really started to understand why I felt the way I did."

"You seem pretty open about this" Greg said looking me in the eyes.

"How open I am when it comes to talking about it depends on the person that I am talking too since you already see me as a girl I don't see any harm telling you the truth."

"Well to be honest with you, I think you are making the right choice, you are way to pretty to ever be a boy." He said with a grin.

"Thanks Greg" I said blushing.

"You're welcome Chrissy, so how's you breakfast."

"It's pretty good actually are you going to order something Greg?"

"Yeah I think that I will have the same." He said then walked over to the counter and returned a few minutes later and took a seat across from me.

"So tell me something, why weren't you freaked out when I told you that I was going to have a sex change Greg?"

"I work in the medical field, so there isn't much that does surprise me, and the other reason is I am gay, so I know what it's like to be different. My family didn't really take the news very well when I came out to them. It took them awhile but they seem to accept it now. "

"So how did your family take the news, when you came out to them Chrissy?"

"My sister Sarah was fine with it, but my parents on the other hand are still having a hard time dealing with it, but they are not going to stand in my way, and their at least trying. That is really all I can ask for at the moment."

"I am glad that things are going alright for you Chrissy, I am not really supposed to do this because you're a patient, but if you have any trouble I want you to give me a call here at work or at home, here's my number he said then wrote the number down on one of his cards. If I don't answer just leave a message and a number and I will call you back."

"Why are you doing this Greg?"

"Because, I had a hard enough time when I came out, my family didn't accept me and most of my so called friends turned their back on me. It was a rough time and I felt like nobody really cared if I lived or died and I don't want to happen to you." Greg said sadly.

"Thanks Greg, you don't know how much it means to me to know I have someone I can turn to if things get tough."

"Don't sweat it Chrissy, so I hear that you're going home today."

"I can't wait to get out of here Greg."

"You just want to get out from under my claws." Greg said with a smile.

"That's true if I wanted a drill sergeant I would have joined the army." I said giggling.

Greg laughed, "Come on I wasn't that bad." He said with a smile.

"I didn't mind, it's not every day a girl gets to spend time with such a handsome man." I said and gave him a smile and winked at him.

"Careful missy I am immune from you charms." Greg said with a grin.

I smiled at him, "You're too old for me anyway."

"Well Greg, I better head back upstairs to my room, I don't want to miss Dr. Gettings the last thing I need is to be stuck here another day."

"I guess that I will see you next week then Chrissy, you take care of yourself and don't forget to do you exercises." Greg said with a smile.

"Take care of yourself to Greg and thanks for everything." I said with a smile.
 
 

 
 

Dr. Gettings arrived around 9am, and removed my stitches and gave me a quick checkup, "Well Chrissy I would say you're ready to go home." I am going to setup an appoint to seem you two weeks from now in my office I will leave it with your discharge papers, along with your prescriptions."

"Thank you Dr. Gettings for everything, I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you" I said with a smile and gave him a hug.

"It's was my pleasure Chrissy" Dr. Getting said with a smile then left to work his magic on another patient.

Finely I get to go home I said aloud then dialed mom on my cellphone. "Hi mommy, guess what I am ready to go home, come and get me please." I said with a big smile.

Mom and Sarah arrive 30 minutes later carrying a couple of bags with them, "What's all this stuff I asked?"

"We can't let you go home dressed like that?" Sarah said with a smile.

"I opened one of the bags, inside was a light blue sundress, panties, and a matching bra", I looked over at Mom and then Sarah.

"Your father and I talked last night, neither one of us have a problem if this is what you want Chrissy." Mom said with a smile.

A big smile came across my face, as I looked at everything mom had bought for me, and I pulled the curtain around me and start getting undressed. I loved the way the panties felt against my skin as I slipped into them.

"Chrissy do you need help with your bra?" Sarah asked.

"Sure, Sarah do we have anything to fill the cups?" I asked her as I slipped my arms though the hoops, then Sarah fastened it from the back and adjusted the straps. Mom then handed me a small box.

"I thought these my come in handy" mom said with a smile as I opened the box and found two very realistic breast forms inside. I slipped them into the cups and couldn't get over how good they looked on me.

"Thanks Mommy these are awesome." I said with a big smile.

Sarah then held up the sundress and then helped me slip it on, it fit perfect, and I loved the way the material felt as it caressed my skin. Sarah then handed me a pair of sandals and I slipped them on my feet.

Mom then took a brush and started working on my hair, and used a bit of hair spray to keep the style in place. After mom was done she even did my makeup. I couldn't wait to see the results so I made my way into the bathroom, and saw my reflection for the first time, gone was the awkward boy, and standing in his place was a beautiful girl.
 

There was a lot of people staring as we left my room for the last time, most of the nurses knew that truth about me, a few of them said that I looked really pretty while a few were just plain nasty. I knew that not everyone would accept what I was doing, but at the moment I didn't really care because for the first time girl inside me matched the girl on the outside.