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Synopsis: 15 year old Chris Roberts, had everything a teenage boy could want accept for the one thing that mattered most, he wanted more than anything to become a girl. As a result he suffered severe bouts of depression and thought about ending his life many times. Then one day he was brought into the hospital and later operated on due to a brain tumor and realized that his death wish had almost became a reality. Now he Is left with two choices, to return to the life he once had, or risk everything to become the person he always dreamed of being.

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Sarah Stood outside the bathroom door, listening to the sound of her younger brother, she was starting to really worry, he had been sick before but from the sound Inside the bathroom she knew that something major was wrong.

Chris had been sick now for at least 6 months, she was the first to notice the changes long before anyone else In the family. At first It was just little things that she noticed, It all seemed to start with terrible migraines, soon after that he seemed to be taking dizzy spells and then there was also the fact that Chris used to weigh 135 pounds which was small compared to most of the guys his age but over the last 6 months he had dropped down to about 105 pounds.

"Chris are you alrIght?" Sarah asked loudly.

" I will be alrIght Sarah, I'm just sick to my stomach." I managed to answer her before I started vomiting again.

"Are you sure Chris, maybe I should call mom." Sarah asked.

"No Sarah, I will be alrIght, I don't want to bother anyone.

After I stopped vomiting I could barely lift myself off the floor, I was feeling really dizzy and could barely stand., "Sarah can you help me?" I cried out..

Sarah slipped her arms around me and helped me back to my bed and covered me with a blanket, she then left and returned with a glass of water, here you will need this she said and lifted It to my lips.

I managed to take a small sip from the glass without bringing It back up and turned to Sarah.

"I don't think I am going to make It to my appointment" I said referring to the neurologist my family doctor arranged for me to see In two weeks.

"Sarah I think you better call an ambulance", I said weakly.

"AlrIght Chris, just don't leave me", Sarah said In tears, and then ran to call for help. I slowly closed my eyes and slipped Into a deep sleep.
  

  

Henry and Kelly Roberts arrived at the hospital and found Sarah busy talking with a nurse, and made their way over to where Sarah was standing, "How’s Chris doing?", asked Henry.

"The doctor Is checking him out right now, the doctor wants to send him down for a CAT scan and a MRI, but first there are some forms we need you to sign.", explained the nurse.

The paperwork took about 10 minutes to fill out, and then Henry handed It back to the nurse, and joined his family In the waiting room.

"There sending him down for some tests, It will be about an hour before they know anything." Henry explained to his wife.

"An hour later, a doctor came out of the emergency ward and called out, "Mr. and Mrs. Roberts"

"Over here", Henry said and made his way over to where the doctor was standing, followed by Kelly and Sarah.

"I am Dr. Gettings, and I was asked by Dr. Anderson to take over your son's case, your son is very sick, he has a brain tumor, which Is causing an Increased pressure on his brain. This explains the headache, nausea, vomiting, and drowsiness and all of the other symptoms that he has been experiencing. We need to operate as soon as possible, there Is a strong chance the longer we wait the lower the chance of survival.", Dr. GettIngs.saId sadly.

"Do whatever you can do to save our son" Kelly said to Dr. Gettings.

"I need you to fill out the medical releases, and to authorize the use of blood products.", explained Dr. Gettings.

"Honey I will take care of the paperwork, why don't you and Sarah have a seat and I will join you as soon as I am finished." Henry said then followed Dr. Gettings over to the nursing station to fill out the medical releases.
  

  
After all the paperwork was finish, a nurse joined the Roberts In emergency, and took them down to visit with their son before he went down to surgery. Henry walked around the side of the bed and took his sons hand Into his, It was so small compared to his own.

"Son I don't know If you can hear me, but I hope you can, I just wanted you to know how proud I am of you, I couldn't have asked for a better son, I need you to be brave now and fight. I know that I have haven't always been the greatest father and tend to put work ahead of everything, but I want you to understand something, I love you and whatever It takes I will be there for you no matter what happens." Henry said as tears ran down the side of his face.

"Baby you need to be strong like your father said, you're not alone remember that honey, you have a family that loves you.", Kelly said to her son.

"All I am going to say Is you better hurry up and get better otherwise I am going to kick your ass, you already know how much I love you. So I will see you once It's over with." Sarah said then leaned down and gave her brother a hug and kiss on the cheek.

There It Is, can you give me a bit more light asked the doctor as he used the laser to cut out the tumor, It's not as bad as the scans showed, said Dr. Gettings to the nurse. That’s good, What is his prognosis asked the nurse. I would say with the pressure gone, and the tumor removed, we can expect a full recovery." explained Dr. Gettings to the nurse.
  

  

"Wake up", someone said lightly shaking me.

"Oh my head", I said weakly

"Do you know your name", asked the unseen voice.

"Chris", I said weakly.

"Do you know where you are?" said the voice.

"In the hospital", I replied.

"What Is the date?" asked the unseen voice.

"November 2, 2010", I said weakly.

"Good, get some sleep honey, I will be back to check on you later."

This set of questions repeated every hour on the hour, normally I would have been angry, but I was way to medicated and kept passing out afterwards. During that time I was not really In a coherent state. It was more like being on auto pilot, for the next few days and slept for most of It. Then I finely woke up things were quite different. Three days had passed since I was admitted to the hospital and I had my brain surgery.

As I opened my eyes I noticed a window across from me that overlooked the mountains, I couldn't get over how beautiful It looked to my sore eyes, I never would have even noticed It before, but after coming so close to death, I was thankful just to be alive and able to enjoy even a small thing like this.

I noticed that my neck felt funny and as I reached up to touch It and felt a weird brace around my neck that felt like It was made to keep my head stationary. Then I noticed all the wires attached to me that were running to different machines In the room. I tried moving my legs and found that I didn't have much control of them at all, It was like I was paralyzed from the waist down.

This scared me and I reached for the button that was wrapped around the side of my bed and pressed It. A few minutes later a nurse came through the door, "I see you're finely awake." said the nurse .

"I can't move my legs", I said cutting her off

"Your legs are fine honey, It's just going to take some time for you to recover enough to use them.", the nurse explained

"Is there anything I can get you" asked the nurse.

"Something to drink would be nice", I said with a smile.

"Sure, I will be back In a few minutes honey." The nurse said and then left.

I thought about my life and everything that I had experienced up to now, If was funny but, I felt strange Inside, the memories felt somewhat detached, almost like something I read In a book and hadn't personally experienced. This really bothered me but I figured It had to be related to the brain surgery.

The nurse returned a few minutes later carrying a small plastic glass of Ice water and a straw, and handed It to me." , take small sips Chris. If you drink It to fast you will get sick. the nurse said then left.
  

  
Eventually the morphine kicked In again, and I slipped back Into dreamland. It's hard to explain but there Is something about falling asleep medicated. It took dreams to a whole other level, everything felt so real and I didn't want to wake up, In my dreams I had everything I ever wanted. It was the perfect life I was the person I was always meant to be and even had someone that loved me, this was the life I wanted.. The only problem was I couldn't stay In this world forever, eventually I would wake up and return to a world I truly hated.

"Maybe we should let him sleep honey". I heard mom say.

"Mom, Sarah", I said weakly.

"Chris you're awake.", Sarah said and then came over and gave me a hug.

"How are you feeling Chris?" mom asked.

"Like someone drilled a hole Into my head, and ripped something out, other than that I am feeling alrIght, but on the brighter side whatever there giving me for pain, causes the most amazing and realistic dreams I have ever had.", I said with a smile.

"The nurse said It was morphine", Mom said as she took a seat next to my bed.

"So what happens now?" I asked mom.

"Well the good news, Is they were able to remove the tumor, and there was less damage then what the doctor first thought, he says that you will make a full recovery, It's just going to take some time, and physiotherapy." Mom explained.

"So how long Is It going to be before I can come home?" I asked mom.

"It's going to be at least a few weeks honey." Mom said sadly.

"Don't worry, I will visit you every day, and you will be walking again In no time." Sarah said with a smile.

I looked over at my sister, "you've done enough already, If It wasn't for you Sarah I wouldn't even be here." I said In tears.

"Sorry, I know that I shouldn't be crying but I can't seem to help myself." I said softly.

"It's alrIght Chris, It's not your fault, and the doctor said this would happen." Mom explained to me.

I found myself thinking about my life and everything I had gone through, I had thought many times about taking my own life , I was tired of pretending to be something I wasn't. The sad part was there was still a part of me that wanted to die, even though I was giving a second chance at life I still wasn't happy and knew that I had to do something about It. I really didn't want to throw away this second chance I had been giving.

At the moment I wasn't strong enough to handle coming out to my parents, I needed time to heal and pull myself together, but I knew that It needed to be done soon. If I told them now they would likely just dismiss what I had to say and write It off because of my medicated state or blame It on the brain tumor.

The three of us talked for a while, and I found myself starting to drift off again, at the moment I had very little energy and slept most of the time. I knew In time that would change but for now I needed my rest.

"What's wrong honey?" Mom asked looking over at me.

"Sorry mom, I am just tired out", I said softly.

"Do you want us to leave so you can get some sleep honey, we can come back later. "Mom said softly.

"would you mind staying till I am asleep, I really don't want to be alone right now.." I said weakly.

"Sure honey, I am not going anywhere, just get some sleep." mom said softly.
  

  

Sarah and her Mother stayed with Chris until he was fast asleep, and quietly talked.

"Henry arrived a few minutes later and joined them, "how's he doing?" Henry asked his wife.

"I could use a cup of coffee, I will fill you In on the way.." Kelly said to her husband.

"Could you bring me something back, I am going to stay with Chris, he might wake up and I want to be here If he does.." Sarah said to her parents.

"He could be out for a while honey, are you sure?" Henry said to his daughter.

"It's alrIght Daddy, I don't mind waiting.."

Sarah climbed Into bed and laid next to her brother, she had a hard time believing the kid lying next to her was her brother, he had become so frail over the last few months, If anything he looked more like her little sister then her brother.

He was never the biggest kid, and compared to other boys he was always small In comparison, but now he weighed less than she did and over the last few months his hair had grown out, It was almost as long as hers now, he refused to have It cut, even though he was often mistaking for a girl.

Sarah looked over at Chris, she could see a smile appear on his face, and could tell whatever his dream was, It was a happy one. As she listened Chris began talking In his sleep, but the voice sounded nothing like Chris's normal voice, It sounded softer and more like a girl's voice then a boys. Sarah thought she would have some fun, and try talking to Chris just to see If she would get a response.

"Who are you talking to Chris", Sarah said softly.

"Adam", Chris said Incoherently.

"Who Is Adam" Sarah asked her brother and waited for a response.

"He's my boyfriend, you know sis, you're the one that Introduced us, and stop calling me Chris, you know how much I hate that name." Chris said softly.

Sarah looked over at her brother, unsure of what was going on, "Well what should I call you then?"

"Christine, or ChrIssy I don't care just stop calling me Chris.."

Sarah couldn't believe what she was hearing, "Chris was dreaming that he was a girl, and even sounded like one." She started to wonder If the medication was causing the dreams, or If It was something else, but as she watched her brother he looked so happy.

"I love you too Adam", Chris said softly and Sarah could see he was blushing.

Sarah began to wonder If Chris secretly wanted to be a girl, he sure sounded like one at the moment, she would have to have a talk to him about It, but for the moment she would keep It to herself, the last thing Chris would want Is for this to get out at least until he was ready for It to come out.

This did explain a lot though, Chris was never really the manliest of guys and always seemed to enjoy the company of girls rather than guys. If It was true and he wanted to become a girl she would do anything she could to help as far as Sarah was concerned, all that mattered was his happiness and If that meant losing a brother and gaining a sister she wouldn't have a problem with It.

  

  

Sarah stayed with Chris for about an hour before her parents arrived, she wanted to talk to them about what she observed earlier but she knew It wasn't a good Idea and honestly didn't know how they would take the news. She knew that It was best If It came from Chris, but she did plan on confronting him about It the first chance she got .

"He's still sleeping I see" said Henry to his daughter

"He must be exhausted", Sarah said softly.

"Maybe we should come back after supper", Kelly said aloud.

"That sounds like a good Idea", Henry said to his wife.

"I am just going to stay, I' m sure that he will wake up soon and will want some company." Sarah told her parents.

"Are you sure you could be here for a while honey." Kelly said to her daughter.

"Just leave me a few bucks, so I can grab something to eat later." Sarah said with a smile.

"AlrIght honey, we will be back sometime after 5pm", Henry said and handed Sarah twenty dollars.

  

  

I woke up a few hours later and found Sarah laying down beside me, had she been there the whole time, I couldn't help but smile as I looked over at her,

"how long was I out?" I asked her.

"Just a few hours", Sarah explained.

"Where are mom and dad?" I asked her.

"They left a couple hours ago." Sarah replied.

"Sarah I appreciate It but you didn't have to stay, It couldn't have been much fun for you." I said sadly.

"It's alrIght, I wanted to stay until you woke up, and besides I think the two of us need to have a little talk, don't we Christine." Sarah said rather smugly.

"How do you know about Christine?" I asked somewhat scared.

"Actually you were the one that told me, you seemed to be having a good dream, you were talking In your sleep, so I tried talking to you while you were sleeping and you told me everything." Sarah said softly.

"So I suppose you're going to till mom and dad?" I said looking Sarah In the eyes.

"Chris I would never tell them, It's up to you to do that, but If you really want to be a girl, you should tell mom and dad. It doesn't matter to me one way or another If I have a sister or brother, I just want you to be happy." Sarah said then leaned over and gave me a hug.

'You really mean that", I said In tears.

"Of course I mean It whither you're a boy or girl your still family. I just wish you would have come to me I would have tried to help." Sarah said sadly.

"I was scared to tell anyone, I was afraid you would think that I was some kind of freak." I said In tears.

"Chris you are a freak, you have always been a freak, but you're my brother and I love you, don't you ever think I would ever turn my back on you, over something as silly as this." Sarah said In tears herself.

"Since I woke up, from the surgery, It's been on my mind a lot, I thought about telling mom and dad, but I was afraid they wouldn't believe me and try to say It was the medication or related to the brain tumor being removed but I have always felt this way."

"It's been really hard holding It all Inside, I hate the person I see when I look In the mirror and sometimes It gets so bad I think about ending It all, but I don't want to die now, I want to live, but what I was doing before didn't work, I can't hide from the truth I am a girl, and I have always been.", . Does that make any sense at all Sarah." I said In tears.

"It makes perfect sense Chris, If you have always believed that you were a girl Inside, how could you ever be happy living as a boy." Sarah said softly.

"Do you really think mom and dad would understand If I told them the truth Sarah?"

"Yes I think they would understand that you believe you are a girl Inside, they might have a harder time accepting It though, but I think between the two of us we can make them understand that you need to do this, If you really want to be happy." Sarah said as she held me.

"Then you will help break the news to mom and dad Sarah?"

"Of course I will Chris, you're going to need all the help you can get." Sarah said with a smile.

"The big question Is when do you want to tell them? It might be best sooner than later, being In the hospital now they might be able to arrange for someone to come In and see you." Sarah explained.

"I know you're right Sara, but It's pretty scary." I said softly.

"It's got to be done though, otherwise nothing will ever change." Sarah explained.

"Mom and Dad will be back after supper, we can tell them then, If that Is what you want. I am here, so you don't have to do It alone." Sarah said with a smile.

I looked over at Sarah, It would be easier, and Sarah already knew the truth and seemed to understand and accepted me. Mom and Dad would likely have a harder time with It considering there was a generation gap. I knew they would try to accept things but I wasn't a fool to believe things were going to be easy.

  

  

It was 5:30pm when our parents arrived, Sarah and I spent most of the afternoon talking, and now that she knew my secret and seem comfortable with It the two of us were finely able to talk as sisters for the first time In our lives. We had talked about boys, makeup and a whole bunch of other things. When mom and dad joined us I felt a bit nervous because I was unsure how they were going to take the news.

"I see your finely awake", Dad said as he entered the room.

"HI Dad, It's nice to see you, It's nice to see you too mommy, Sarah and I have been talking and there's something that I need to talk to you about. I have been afraid to tell you until now, but considering everything that has happened I just can't hide It from you anymore." I said sadly.

Mom and Dad took a seat next across from Sarah and me, "So what's this all about son?" dad asked looking concerned as did mom.

"That's just the thing Dad I am not your son. I have never really been your son at least not mentally, I have always been a girl Inside."

Both mom and dad looked shocked from what I just told them, dad was the first to speak, "Son I think you're just confused, your head Is all messed up from the operation, and the medicine doesn't help either."

"No Dad, I have felt this way all of my life, and because of It I thought of taking my life more than once, but after everything that has happened I don't want to die anymore, I want to live, but not as this, not as a boy, I want to be a girl." I said In tears.

"Honey, are you sure this Is really what you want", Kelly said to her son.

"Yes, It's what I have always wanted, the only thing that has changed Is I am no longer going to pretend to be something I am not, Inside I am a girl and nothing Is going to change that and I will do whatever It takes to become a girl completely, but for me to do this I am going to need your help." I said reluctantly.

Kelly and Henry sat there In silence, as they took In what their son just told them, It was Sarah who was next to speak, "Mom, Dad Chris Is telling you the truth, If you really look Into your hearts you can see he has never really been like other boys, I find all this hard to believe also but I do believe him, and If this Is what It takes for him to be happy then we need to help him Its better to have another daughter then a son that wants to take his own life." Sarah said firmly.

"This Is too much to take, you just had major surgery and now you're saying you want to have a sex change." Dad said shaking his head.

"I have always wanted to be a girl dad, the only difference now Is I am not hiding who I am anymore. I have been giving a second chance and I refuse to throw It away, believe me, I am happy to be alive right now but how long will It take before the old feelings come back, and eventually things will get so bad that I just end up taking my life because I can't stand living like this.." I said sadly.

"Honey there's plenty of time to deal with this later at the moment the only thing we should be concentrating on his Chris's recovery we can talk to the doctor maybe he can arrange for Chris to talk to someone while he Is In the hospital." Kelly said aloud.

"AlrIght Chris, we will talk to Dr. Gettings about this and see If someone can come In to talk to you, but I am not saying that I am happy about any of this." Dad said sounding a bit Irritated.

"And If the doctor says, that becoming a girl Is best for me will you allow It?" I asked.

"Yes, I will allow It, only If the doctor says there Is no other choice." Dad said sadly.

"Please don't hate me for wanting to do this daddy." I said In tears.

"Chris you're my son, and I could never hate you, we might not always see eye to eye but whatever happens remember one thing I love you and always will." Dad said softly then leaned down and took me In his arms.

"I know all this Is a bit much to take, especially now but after everything that happened I feel like I have been giving a second chance at life and I don't want to waste It." I said sadly.

"Your father and I understand honey, but you need to be patient, this Is going to take time, and Isn't something you can just rush Into." Mom explained.

"I know mommy, I am just happy that the two of you were willing to listen to me. I was scared that the both of you wouldn't understand."

"Honestly Chris, your mother and I don't really understand, but we can see that this Is Important to you, It's going to take us time to work things out for ourselves, after all It's not every day a son comes to you and says he wants to become your daughter.." Dad said rather sobered.

"Has the doctor been In to see you yet?" Mom asked changing the subject.

"Not yet, but the nurse has been In a few times though to change my Intravenous, I will be glad when they take that damn thing out of me, It's really annoying." I said feeling slightly Irritated.

  

  

Over the next couple of weeks Sarah and I became closer than ever before, even though I hadn't started transitioning towards becoming a girl, she treated me as one and whenever the two of us were alone she address me as Christine and I was happy to finely not have to put on an act around her. I had met Dr. Gettings the day after I came out to my parents and was amazed that this man was capable of doing any kind of surgery, let alone brain surgery.

He was African American and stood somewhere near 6'2 or possibly taller, he was a big man, and I don't mean overweight by any means, If anything he looked like he should be playing professional football. He had a strange accent also, but what really caught my attention was his sense of humor.

He was always joking around and making me laugh, which sometimes was very painful, but I have to say I liked him from the moment he visited me. It wasn't until his third visit before he asked me about the conflict I was having concerning my gender. At first I was a little hesitant about talking to him but he assured me that I wasn't the first person he met with this problem and If I would open up to him he could help, eventually I did open up to him and he seemed to understand.

A few days later, he returned with someone new, "Good Morning Chris", Dr. Gettings said with a smile.

"Good Morning Dr. Gettings"

"I brought a friend with me this morning, I hope you don't mind", Dr. Gettings said with a big smile.

"HI Chris, I am Dr. Karen Leblanc, but you can call me Karen, Dr. Gettings called me a few days ago and asked me to come In and have a talk with you. Is that alrIght with you?" Karen asked with a smile.

"Sure, I guess that would be alrIght", I said then looked over at Dr. Gettings.

"It's alrIght Chris, she works with kids like you, and she helps them figure out If changing sexes Is the right choice." Dr. Gettings said with a smile.

I smiled, "Thank you Dr. Gettings"

"Anytime Chris, I will drop In tomorrow and the two of us will have a little chat." Dr. Gettings said then left the two of us alone.

Karen took a seat In the chair next to me then opened the clipboard she was carrying, "normally we would do this In my office, but It will be awhile before you're mobile and since It's Impossible to say no to your Doctor, here I am.

"Let's get one thing clear Chris, I am not here to judge you, my job Is to make sure that you get the best possible care, If that means you should become a girl then I will do everything In my power to help you achieve that goal." Karen said with a smile.

"This Is so unreal", I said happily.

"What so unreal?" asked Karen.

"I have wanted this all of my life and now I am starting to see that It's possible." I said with a smile.

"It's possible, but It's not going to happen overnight, and before I do anything I need to make sure that this Is the right choice for you Chris."

"I understand but know my heart, and I have known all of my life that I am a girl." I said firmly.

"You said you've known all your life Chris that you were a girl, what makes you think that?" asked Karen.

"Well I haven't always known, at least not on a conscience level, but when I look back over my life the signs have always been there." I explained.

"Tell me about It?" asked Karen.

"I guess some of my earliest memories are of spending time with my cousins, we were pretty much all the same age, and the boys always played together, they used to watch the WWE, and pretend to be the different wrestlers they would be jumping around doing all the different moves, stuff like that, they always tried to Include me but I didn't really fit In, nor did I enjoy those activities.

Most of my childhood I tried to fit In with other kids my age mostly the boys, but there was some kind of barrier between us and no matter what I did, I just couldn't seem to breach It.

"When It came to girls there wasn't a barrier, I didn't have to pretend to be something I wasn't, I could just be myself and I enjoyed spending time with them mostly because we shared all the same Interests. When I became a teenager things started to change though." I said softly

"What Changed?" Karen asked.

"Puberty hit, and I found myself attracted to boys."

"That must have been hard on you Chris?"

"It was a confusing time for me, and I didn't know what to do about It. At first I pretended to be straight and tried not to think about It, but how can you not think about It. Then the more I thought about It the more I started thinking that there was something else wrong, because the thought of being with a guy as a guy made me sick.

It was then that I started putting everything together, I guess that I have always known on some level that I was a girl Inside, but the more I thought about being a girl stuck In a boy's body the more depressed I became, and after a while, I started thinking about taking my own life because everything just seemed so hopeless." I explained to Karen In tears.

"I can see you have giving this a lot of thought Chris, and I am sure that you believe becoming a girl Is the best thing for you and I do believe that It's a possibility, but the two of us will have to talk more about It before I am willing to proceed. If It’s alrIght with you I would like to talk to your family, Is that alrIght Chris?"

"If you think It will help, I don't mind, to be honest though I am not sure how receptive my parents will be, they are having a hard time accepting the fact that I want to become a girl." I explained to Karen.

"Why did you choose now to come out, If you don't mind me asking Chris?"

"It's hard to explain, but I have wanted to take my life for a while now because, I can't stand living like this and I hate being different, I would give anything to be normal, but as long as I am stuck In this body I will never really be normal that Is why I wanted to take my own life."

"Things changed though after the Brain tumor almost killed me, I have no choice but to look at It as a second chance at life, and I don't want to waste It and I know whatever happens I will become a girl, even If I have to wait I will find a way to make It happen." I said firmly.

"Well you've giving me a lot to think about Chris, I will be back next Monday and we can continue where we left off.", Karen said with a smile.

"Thanks for coming Karen I feel better just talking to you." I said with a smile.

  

  

It was a tiring day, and my energy level was pretty low, after Karen left and orderly arrived and took me to therapy and I spent almost a half hour learning to walk using a walker, It was a painful ordeal, I almost fell on more than one occasion, If It hadn't been for my therapist I could have seriously hurt myself, by the time I made It back to my room I was completely exhausted and as soon as I hit the bed I was fast asleep.

I was awoken a couple hours later by the sound of wheels running across the floor, my dinner had arrived, . I used the switch on my bed to elevate myself Into a sitting position, and took the cover off of the tray. There was hardly anything on the plate, sitting there was a bowl of chicken soup, and one piece of bread there was also a few crackers, and a cup of tea.

The soup was nothing more than just broth with hardly any Ingredients Inside, I looked over at the cup of tea and thought to myself what 15 years old drinks tea. I wasn't Impressed, till recently I barely had an appetite, now that I had one this was all they were serving me. I pushed the tray aside and dug out my cell phone and sent Sarah a text.

"SIs, please rescue me, they're trying to starve me to death, I need real food."

"Want me to pick something up, after school?" Sarah said texting me back.

"Please Sarah all they gave me was chicken broth and tea."

"Is KFC alrIght sis?" Sarah replied.

"Perfect, grab me a diet coke too." I said In a text.

"AlrIght I will see you after school, Love you SIs", Sarah replied.

"Love you too", I replied with a smile.

Now what to do with myself I said as I looked over at the wheelchair sitting next to my bed, well I am not going to stay In bed all day, been there done that. I said to myself as I pulled my legs over the side of the bed and used my walker to brace myself until I was lined up with the wheelchair and slowly lowered myself Into It, then pushed the walker over to the side and then wheeled the chair over to the small dresser and retrieved my wallet and slipped It under my leg because I didn't have any pockets that I could place It In.

I also grabbed the extra Johnny shirt and put my arms through It and wore It like It was a normal shirt, this way I could also cover up my backside If I needed to get out of the chair. I then pushed the chair out of my room. I was still pretty weak so It wasn't easy to move the chair but I took my time, and even stopped a few times to rest, eventually I made It to the recreation room.

It was a fair sIze room, Inside there was a piano, and a big screen television, video games, and a bunch of other things, Including a small kitchen, with a fridge. I made my way over to the fridge and opened It and found that It was well stocked, I grabbed a can of diet coke from Inside and sat It on my lap, I also found quite a few tubs of Ice cream, so I took one and set It on my lap next to the can of diet coke, then grabbed a plastic spoon and wheeled the chair over to an empty table and sat everything on top of It.

There was a remote on the table so I clicked the power button and the television came to life, after playing around with It I found the country music channel, and the music started to play. As I sat at the table I thought that maybe I should move In this room it had everything that a kid my age needed.

After I finished eating and drinking my diet coke I wheeled myself over to the garbage and though the empty container Inside and then pushed the chair over to the piano, after making sure that the wheels were locked I pulled myself up onto the bench and pulled myself over to the center and made sure my feet were setting over the petals.

Music was always my one true love, I have been playing, guitar and piano since I was 6 years old, and I also loved to sing although I had never really song In public. I didn't have much of a manly voice and was pretty sensitive about letting people hear me. Although I wasn't worried at the moment though, I had the place to myself, so I started playing, Skyscraper, by DemI Lovato and quietly began to sing along as I played the song on the piano.

  

  

When I came to the end of the song I realized that I wasn't alone, a couple people had come Into the room, a woman that looked to be In her early 40's and a young girl that looked to be around my age.

"That was beautiful, have you been playing long?" asked the older woman.

"Since, I was about 6 years old." I said with a smile.

"You can tell, by the way you play and sing" the woman said with a grin.

"I am Shelly, and this Is my daughter April."

"I'm Chris It's nice to meet the both of you."

"What's Chris short for Christine, or Christina?" asked April.

That Is when It hit me they both thought I was a girl, I knew from experience It was better to just play along otherwise people would start acting weird around me, Its short for Christine." I said with a smile.

"Mom's right though you do have a beautiful voice", April said with a smile.

"Thank you, I love to sing but I am pretty worn out, so I am not really at my best, If you know what I mean." I said and started pulling myself over toward my wheelchair.

"Here let me give you a hand", April's mother said then came over and put her arm around me and helped me Into my chair.

"Thanks, I still haven't gutting all my strength back yet."

"What happened to you?" asked April

"I had a Brain Tumor removed." I said softly.

"ShIt and you are up already." April said sounding surprised.

"I am not supposed to be but, I couldn't handle spending another day lying In bed and at least there are things to do here, whereas back In my room all I have Is four walls. I explained to April.

"What room are you In?", asked April

"Room 305, I'm just across from the nursing station." I replied.

"I am In 315, If you don't mind the company I might drop over, I get bored here too, and you're welcome to drop over to my room If you want." April said with a smile.

"April and me were just about to watch a movie, you're welcome to join us." Shelly said with a smile.

I looked over at the clock It was already 3:30pm, Sarah would be arriving soon," I would love to but my sister should be arriving pretty soon, I should be getting back to my room, maybe another time. It was nice meeting the both of you." I said with a smile and started moving the chair towards the door.

"Wait Christine, save your energy, I will push you back to your room" April said and before I had a chance to answer she was already behind me pushing the chair out of the room.

"You don't have to do this April I am perfectly able to push myself." I said softly.

"I don't really mind, It's nice to find someone In here the same age as me. All I have seen Is mostly old people and young kids around here." April said with a smile.

"What are you In for April? If you don't mind me asking" I said as she pushed me.

"I have leukemia, It's In remission right now, hopefully It's gone for good, but because of all the treatments, my Immune system Is pretty much gone. So I can get sick pretty easy. I had an Infection and the doctors wanted to admit me. I would Imagine that you're going to have to be careful too, after a surgery like you've had, your Immune system will be taxed also." April said sadly.

"Nobody has said anything to me about that?" I explained to April.

"They never do, It's something about not wanting you to worry, parents are the worst for trying to keep secrets, and mom hid the fact that I had leukemia from me for months. then one day I overheard her talking to my doctor about me.", April explained.

"She didn't want to worry you?" I said softly.

"I know, but I already knew something major was wrong with me and could tell that It was most likely going to kill me, I could feel It deep Inside." April said sadly.

"I felt the same way April, I could feel my body slowly shutting down and I had accepted the fact that I was most likely going to die, but I was lucky the doctors found It In time and thank god It wasn't cancerous.." I explained to my new friend.

"It's not easy Is It, knowing you're going to die, and keeping It to yourself", April said sadly.

"I kept most of It to myself April, I didn't want to worry my mom and dad or my sister, but In the end things got really bad.."

"Yeah ChrIssy, I know exactly what you mean" April said and I could tell from her expression she really did understand.

"Well here we are," April said pushing me Into my room

"Do you need help getting Into bed ChrIssy?"

"No I think I will just sit In my chair for now, thanks for the lift April"

"Any time ChrIssy, I might drop over later If that's alrIght?"

"Anytime April.", I said with a smile.

"AlrIght I better get back to mom." April said with a smile and left.

  

  

Over the next couple of weeks, things started to change, as always Sarah, mom and dad visited me daily. April and I spent most of our days together, by now I had progressed to the point where I was able to walk for short periods, but I still tired out pretty easily. I was sad to see April leave she had been discharged a few days earlier, and wouldn't be back to the hospital.

The two of us exchanged numbers and we talked every day, mostly about random stuff, boys, clothes, makeup. I never did tell her my secret, I enjoyed being treated as a girl and wasn't about to complicate things by telling her the truth. Karen had returned for a couple more visits and arranged for all of us to meet at the hospital later today.

I was nervous because she never told me anything she just asked questions, and I was unsure, what her diagnosis was going to be when It came to my transitioning. All she would say was for me to be patient, and that these things took time, She didn't seem to understand that the worst thing you can tell a teenager Is to be patient.

"Come on just one more set Chris and your done for the day?" Greg said with a smile.

If he wasn't so cute I would have told him where to put that last set, but I wasn't that kind of person, "I don't think I can do anymore, I am exhausted Greg." I said In pain.

"AlrIght just 2 more times and your finish Chris", Greg said finely giving In.

After I finished I needed to rest for a bit, "Here have a coke", Greg said, handing me a bottle.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, you're doing really well, most of the patients I have had that went through what you have, were nowhere near where you are right now, give It a couple weeks and you will be walking unaided." Greg said reassuringly.

"I know Greg, I just get so frustrated at times, and I am tired of having to depend on everyone else. I can't do anything, sometimes I just feel so powerless." I explained.

"It's alrIght ChrIssy, things will get better just give It a few weeks."

I smiled letting the name slip, It wasn't the first time that he called me ChrIssy, at first It was always Chris, but over the last couple of weeks ChrIssy had been slipping out, and he wasn't the only one, some of the nurses had made the same mistake.

  

  

After returning to my room I found Mom, Dad and Sarah waiting, they arrived early and I was glad to see them, "HI mommy, daddy, Sarah, you're early." I said with a smile and slowly stood up and gave them all hugs.

"Easy honey" Mom said worried that I would fall.

"It's alrIght mommy, I can stand for a while." I said then slowly lowered myself back Into my chair.

"We thought It would be nice to get you out of the hospital for a bit before we meet with Dr. Leblanc, Kelly why don't you help Chris get dressed and we'll meet the both of you In the lobby." Dad said then he and Sarah left.

"Sorry honey, but you lost so much weight that nothing at home Is really going to fit you, we will fix that once your home, I grabbed one of Sarah's track suits. It's light blue so It shouldn't be too bad." Mom said with a smile. After I finished dressing mom pulled a comb out of her purse and started combing my hair, do you think you cover my bald spot mom?" I asked.

"It's not quite bald anymore honey the hair around It Is growing in nicely." Mom said with a smile.

"So how was your morning honey?" asked mom.

"Busy and tiring", but I am getting stronger, has the doctor said when I will be able to go home?"

"Maybe next week Chris"

"I will be glad to put this place behind me." I said softly.

"So will I honey", Mom said with a smile.

"There were all done Chris", mom said putting the comb back Into her purse.

We joined Dad and Sarah In the lobby, and dad took over pushing my wheelchair, "you better let me honey, then whispered something about women drivers and grinned, and was rewarded with a slap to the back of the head by mom, which caused Sarah and I to start giggling."

  

  

It was nice to finely be outside of the hospital, and breathing In the fresh air, Dad left us for a few minutes then pulled the car up to the hospitals entrance and then climbed out and help me Into the front passenger seat. While everyone was getting Inside dad folded up my wheel chair and placed It Inside the trunk and then climbed In and started driving.

I clicked the button and lowered the window, and felt the wind against my face, It felt nice against my skin. Daddy drove for about ten minutes, and then pulled Into Boston Pizza, I loved their pizza, "Daddy you didn't have to", I said with a smile.

"I know, but I wanted to and besides, It beats the crap out of what they serve you In the hospital." Dad said as he parked the car then came around and helped me out and back Into my wheelchair.

After everyone was seated, a waitress came over to take our order, Dad ordered a large pizza and It was diet cokes all around, accept for dad he ordered a coffee. "This is really nice, I wish that I didn't have to go back to the hospital" I said sadly.

"You will be coming home soon enough honey, Your father has been setting up the house to make It easier for you once your home." Mom said as the waitress returned carrying a tray with a three diet cokes and dads coffee on It.

"Guess what Chris, were going to be roommates." Sarah said with a big smile.

"Why, there’s nothing wrong with my room?"

"The room Isn't an Issue It's the sIze and location that's the problem. You're not ready to be climbing stairs for a while without help, so until you are ready you will be sharing Sarah's room." Dad explained, It did make sense her room was on the main floor and had Its own bathroom.

"It was my Idea Chris", Sarah said with a smile.

I thought to myself, at least I could be myself with her and maybe learn a few things that would come In handy later provided Dr. Leblanc, agrees with me becoming a girl. I thought to myself, and looked over at mom, "I need to use the washroom." I said In a low voice so only my family could hear.

"I will take him", Sarah said then stood up and started pushing me towards the bathroom, "you're going to have to use the girl's washroom I am not going Into the men's room." Sarah said softly.

Once Inside Sarah helped me over to the stall and had to hold me till I could manage to get my pants down and I slowly lowered myself down unto the toilet with Sarah's help, "I am sorry about this Sarah, you shouldn't have to be doing this." I said sadly.

"It's alrIght ChrIssy If the role was reversed you would do the same for me." Sarah said with and then exited the stall and gave me some privacy.

"I don't know what I would do without you Sarah, lately I have been thinking about my life and I guess my future, I am not happy with the way things have been, before It didn't bother me being alone I guess I just accepted that things were never going to change, but I have been lonely lately, the only friend I have Is April, I know that I have you also but I guess I am tired of being alone, It's my own fault, because I push everyone away because I am jealous of them Including you Sarah.", I said softly.

"Why are you Jealous of me?" asked Sarah

"Because you're everything I am not, I would trade places with you In a second, If It meant I could be a normal girl." I said sadly.

"I love you to death Sarah, but this Is how I always felt." I replied.

"That's understandable, considering what I know now." Sarah said quietly.

"You're going to get your wish though ChrIssy, just wait and see It will happen"

"I really hope so Sarah." I replied and as I wiped myself, "I am finished Sarah"

  

  

After cleaning up Sarah and I made our way back to our table and joined mom and dad, the pizza was already waiting for us at the table. Because of all the weight I lost all I could handle was one piece, and I was completely full. After everyone ate there were a few pieces left and dad asked for a small box to place them In, that way I could have them later at the hospital.

The four of us had a nice talk over dinner I could tell that Mom and Dad were also a bit stressed about the meeting with Karen. Everything had happened rather fast and none of us really had the time to deal with It. Sarah had taking the news better than mom and dad I think It was because she had always seen me as a girl to some extent.

So It was easier for her to accept but mom and dad only saw me as a boy. It wouldn't be as easy for them to see me any other way, I wished that things could be easier for them, but I had to be honest and be true to myself, hopefully they would come to see me as their daughter.

  

  

We arrived at the hospital 15 minutes later and returned to my room, and Karen arrived a few minutes later, after the four of us were seated Karen was the first to speak.

"I asked you all here today because I wanted to discuss, how you feel about Chris becoming a girl." Karen said looking across the room at my parents, Sarah and then me.

"To be honest, I really don't know what to think, Chris Is my son, and I love him but I don't understand why he feels he needs to become a girl. It just makes no sense to me." Dad said aloud.

"I agree with my husband, this has got to be some sort of phase, he will eventually outgrow It and come to his senses, that Is what I am hoping will happen.." Mom said softly.

"Sarah do you have anything to say?" asked Karen

"As far as I am concerned I don't have a brother, I have a sister and her name Is Christine or ChrIssy for short, If this Is what she needs to be complete then I will do whatever It takes to help her." Sarah said looking over at Chris.

"I can understand how all of you feel about what Chris wants to do but first I need to make a few things clear, this Isn't a phase that will just go away, Chris has felt this way to some extent all of his life and Its very doubtful his beliefs will change, do you know that your son has thought an planned out taking his own life because he can't stand the thought of living as a boy." Karen said looking over at Chris's parents.

"Is that true son?" Dad said looking over at me.

"Yes, its true daddy, I just couldn't see any other way out." I said sadly.

"I have talked to Chris for a few weeks now, and I know that what he Is telling me Is the truth, I believe that there Is only one course of action here and the longer we wait the harder It will be for Chris to transition successfully, he hasn't really started puberty yet so If we start the process now there Is a good chance that Chris will enter puberty as a girl, It's a proven fact that the younger you start the better the results will be. I will give you some time to think about It and I will be back In an hour." Karen explained then left.

"We need to talk Kelly, let's head down to the cafeteria, we will be back later." Dad said then the two of them left.

"Damn this Is a lot to take In" Henry said aloud.

"Yeah, I didn't realize that Chris felt the way he did either" Kelly said to her husband.

"I don't like this one bit, maybe we should get a second opinion" Henry said softly.

"Something tells me, that the diagnosis wouldn't change honey." Kelly replied.

"You're properly right honey, Chris Is dead set on doing this, and the older he gets the harder It will become for him, If he does It now at least he has a future, even If It Is as a girl." Henry said flatly.

"So are you saying we should let him do this", asked Kelly to her husband.

"I don't know what I am saying right now, I just know If we don't let him, he will never forgive us and we will likely end up burying him and I would rather have another daughter then have to bury my son." Henry said sadly.

"Then were going to let him do this?" asked Kelly.

"We don't really have a choice I would rather have a daughter that's happy then a son that Is bent on taking his own life. So I guess the choice Is made." Henry said firmly.

  

  

"How do you think mom and dad are going to take It?" Chris asked Sarah.

"I think they're going to give In, It's for the best and they promised that If the doctor recommended, they would accept the doctor's diagnosis." Sarah replied.

"I'm happy the doctor agreed, but I feel bad for mom and dad. This Is going to hurt them Sarah."

"Yeah It's going to be hard for them to accept, but they know It's for the best ChrIssy."

"Thank you for what you said earlier, It meant the world to me, knowing that you're on my side. I am lucky to have a sister as understanding as you." I said leaning over and giving her a hug.

"I am your older sister It's my job to watch out for you." Sarah said with a smile.

"Well I am afraid that I will be depending on you a lot, I have lived most of my life pretending to be a boy, and I have a lot to learn about living as a woman." I explained to Sarah.

"It will be fun ChrIssy I have always wanted a little sister, and now I have one. I can't wait till you come home, I will teach you to do your own makeup, hair and everything else."

"You know that It's not going to all be fun Sarah, I am sure people are going to talk especially at school."

"True, but If anyone bothers you I want you to let me know." Sarah said with a frown.

"Maybe it would be best to switch schools, it's not like I have many friends there anyway." I said softly.

"That's true ChrIssy It would give you a chance to start over new, without any baggage." Sarah replied.

"It's something to consider anyway." I said softly.

Mom and Dad arrived back 20 minutes later, and took a seat across from me. Dad looked over at me then said, "your mother and I have made up our minds, were not happy , "Chrissy". But we understand that you need to do this if you ever want to feel whole. So if you really want to do this then your mother and I won't stand in your way.

I broke down crying; "Thank you, I love you both so much" I said in tears and soon found myself being held by the both of them. "I have wanted this all of my life and now it's finely happening." I said in tears.

"It's alrIght ChrIssy just remember that your father and I love you no matter, It makes no difference If you are our son or daughter." Mom said holding me tightly.