A place for us in society.

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I promise, NO Drama.

Since 2005, I have been determined to forge a place in society for myself and those like me. I've stubbornly insisted and fought for a place in society as a woman, and to an amazing extent, that dream has been realized. It has been a long time since anyone has challenged me on the street or off it.

In spite of my total lack of understanding, the Mormon members around me have been kind and healing and supportive. That the upper management of the church has issues with those like me, actually arouses the ire of the members.

My tactics have been to be extremely modest, probably beyond what could be expected of anyone. The idea is to not send out any sexual signals. I look most like a Muslim woman. And that has worked. Others are of the in your face type and I respect their approach, but it is not for me.

I've been friends with a 27 year old Ethiopian Attorney who ran afoul of the government and had to flee. This is a true story. She is also blind. For the last year, it has been so pleasant to be in contact with someone who does not eventually ask about my gender.

Through a series of misfortunes, my friend is very short of money and told me that she was thinking of moving into what we in the states call section 8 housing but that would necessitate her moving to another city and ending her efforts to study here and take her boards so she can practice in America.

Moved by her plight, I approached the management of my apartment building about her moving in with me. The first thing he asked was "have you told her about you". No I have not and do not intend to, was my answer. So that thing that reduces my self worth rears its head again, and it hurts worse because I had dropped my guard.

In the heat of disappointment, I thought about going off my balcony, but quickly recognized that it was the drama queen in me that needed to be comforted and put to bed again. I have done so.

I do not know what the goals of others are, but for me, I insist that my differences do not lessen my value as a human being and I will fight for the right to be seen as normal. I just had to vent this. You will not see me in Pride parades or anything of the sort, because that is someone else's watch not mine. But do know that I fight for the right for us to be able to walk down the streets and not draw attention, scorn or hurtful comments full stop.

Khadijah

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