Hurt so much!

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I've seen others here write a blog like this but thought I would not any more after the murderous times of 2004-6.

So, in the last two weeks my oldest daughter, who I had not talked to in almost 10 years, said she could not get her mind around who I have become. My oldest son did that several months ago, and I never expect to hear from my youngest daughter.

It is so sad that we struggle as "manfully" as we can until our strength fails, and then those that we have poured our love into turn their backs on us, never realizing the sacrifices we made for them.

My oldest living brother is 74 and is going into the hospital for a month or so to get his kidneys jump started. Today he called me and told me not to visit him in the hospital. I thought he accepted me ...

I am sure that some of you have experienced the same hurt. It just feels awful

Gwen

Comments

There is not much that can be said...

There is not much that can be said on this.

You can extend the olive branch as much as possible, but the other person still has to chose to accept the peace offering.

Though, I do have one suggestion. Make sure your words to them are kind, and that they know you care about them.

That way, if, such as you brother, those are the last word you speak to that person, at least you know they are kind words.

Even of they don't connect back to you, you should have no regrets, because you tried you best. It is not your fault they lacked the empathy to understand you. As long as you are polite, and yourself, that is all you can do. If they still chose to not reconnect with you, then you have no regrets, because it was them that choose not to reconnect with you. As such, you tried you best, and that is all that can be asked of anyone.

Good luck.

We cannot control the thoughts, feelings and acts

Angharad's picture

of others, all we can do is offer love. If they choose to reject it that is their decision and ultimately their loss.

My son chose to reject me, then a few months later decided to end his life. I don't know how much of his life I was nor how much of his death; but I do know that I did and still do love him.

Angharad

Hurts do hurt - but maybe

perhaps your brother was saying he couldn't easily cope in hospital with perhaps others being unkind. Not every mistake or misunderstanding or miscommunication revolves around your issues.
Forgiveness requires the hurt person to let the hurt pass and make yet one more effort.
AP

Uhhh...

Rejection does suck and unfortunately there are too many people who cannot love unconditionally. It is especially tough when they are the people who should be the closest to us. But people are who they are and we can't change that. We can only hope and pray that perhaps one day they will understand our challenges and that underneath it all we are still the loving ones we've always been. You will be in my thoughts...

May You Have Peace...

Kelly

A thought.

Hypatia Littlewings's picture

As for your brother, unless he said something to indicate otherwise, maybe he was simply figuring you would likely run in to other family members who do not approve and that the resulting scene would not be good for anyone including you. Give him the benefit of the doubt.

*huggles*
~Hypatia >i<