CHAPTER 22
Sergeant, eh? He must have earned more respect from his bosses that I would have guessed from his breakdown. I had been told he’d had some bad ones, and to see him there with a set of stripes raised my own opinion of him considerably. We took the rest of the introductions, I gave out the prepared domestics speech about fire exits and toilets, which was a bit strange as I was actually in their building, and began.

“Right then, equality and diversity. Why is it such a big concern? Dai, was it?”

“Yes. Macppherson report, innit? That the Met are a bunch of racists. We all knew that anyway”

I looked him in the eye. “And there’s never anything like that round, say, Tiger Bay? No assumptions being made?”

“Well, maybe…”

“Yes, maybe. Now, there’s a lot of rubbish spoken about these courses, so I will set out my stall right now. Chris here and myself differ on one major issue, and on that I am fortunately singing from the management’s hymn sheet. Chris believes that the more diverse a workforce is the better it is. I think that’s coming at it from the wrong direction. Here’s my view: a police force should reflect the community it serves. It shouldn’t seek to filter its staff by any desired qualities beyond competence and honesty. At the same time, it should in no way hinder or deter recruits for any reasons beyond the two factors I identified. That sound fair?”

There were nods around the table. “Now, how many of you would describe yourselves, for example, as colourblind?”

All the hands went up. Trap baited and set. “So you treat everyone the same, regardless of race, colour, religion, etc? You never give anyone a black look?”

We were off, diving into the awkward maze of cultural and ethnic triggers, and before long I had them engaging properly. That had been my worry, that they would all come along as pressed men and women, ticking management’s box. Once I got them laughing they were mine, all mine.

I wound up the day with the obligatory tea and networking games, and found time to have a proper chat with Sergeant Price. He didn’t look well, but he was straight to the point.

“I thought this was going to be all about LGBT stuff, what with the Spectrum bloke along”

“Well, Chris and I do have that side of it a bit boxed off, as I am sure you are aware”

“Camp as a row of tents, aye?”

“That a bit of homophobia lurking in there, Adam?”

He sighed. “What, when I’m talking to one of the most out-there gay officers in Wales? No, just a description. I know, trigger words and that, but you see what I mean. I didn’t expect the range you covered, that’s all, when you are both diverse and equal the way you are”

“Well, the LGBT stuff is the main thrust of it”

He snorted. “Sorry, I have a bit of a warped sense of humour. Ever hear of Tom Lehrer?”

“Never. What I meant was that the recent little spate of people like Chris getting a kicking is putting us all under a spotlight, so we have to be seen to be equal and diverse, as I am”

I gave him a grin. “Are you also diverse and equal?”

“Na, got a girl over in England I’m seeing. Looking for a transfer over there”

“Away from the memories, is it?”

He gave me a sharp look, and I stretched the boundaries by putting a hand to his shoulder. “I saw you once, butt, by the side of a road. Dead tiny one, aye?”

There was a definite trembling in his body. “Aye, that one. Others, too. Fresh pastures should help, that’s what I’m hoping”

“Indeed. Best of luck, butt. Oh, Adam?”

“Yes?”

“Tears are nothing to be ashamed of. Shows you care, aye? Shows you are in the job for the right reasons. We’ll catch up some time, before you go. You can meet the wife”

He wobbled slightly, then nodded and left, and I realised he had been about to initiate a hug. I had been right, though, for I really felt he was in the job for all the right reasons. He just lacked some of the steel that a beat copper needs. There are too many times when the emotion has to be sent away while the nastiness is done or dealt with, and if you cannot wall away that part of you, even if only temporarily, you end up breaking.

Christmas eventually rolled around, and it was the quietest I can remember, partly because Sarah was still staying away. I wondered how much time she was actually spending in her own house, because every time she rang it was from Tony’s place, and the Christmas Day call was no exception. I had my suspicions.

“Well, makes sense, aye? Jim needs looking after from school, and it’s cheaper cooking for three together than for three separately”

“Really? That’s all you’re there for?”

This time, I could tell she was smiling. “Nope. You were so right, Lainey. I really think this is the real deal. He’s a bloody good man, and I’m…I’m a bloody lucky woman, aye?”

“So you might have forgiven us all for stitching you up, then?”

Genuine laughter, followed by a sigh. “I will never be able to adequately repay you for that one, Lainey, never”

Five days later she was back on the phone.

“Lainey…”

“Aye?”

“Siân there?”

I called her over, and put the phone on speaker. “All here now, Sar”

“Ok”

She paused. Whether it was done deliberately for dramatic effect or not, it worked. “I said ‘yes’, girls”

I muttered something about being puzzled, and my wife slapped my hand, laughing. “What’s the ring like, cariad?”

Fuck! How could I have been so stupid? I babbled out my congratulations, and Sarah giggled as she told us the details.

“So I didn’t actually say ‘yes’, but rather ‘yes yes yes yes yes’!”

She waited for the laughter to die down. “And we’re selling my old place. I’m selling… no, WE are selling. You have no idea how good it feels saying it like that!”

Two of us laughed out loud at that, and we joined hands. “Trust me, Sar, we already know how good that bit is! Have you told Mam and Dad yet?”

“No. Not sure how they will take it, aye?”

Siân gave me her warmest smile. “They will take it as they always do, with deep love and affection. You’re their other daughter, their younger daughter. Why wouldn’t they show the same love they showed me? They freely gave themselves to me as a Mam and Dad of my own. I will never be able to repay that. Would they do any less for you and Tony?”

I had a thought. “Sar, you are nervous, aren’t you? Hang on”

I dug out my mobile and rang home. Odd, that: home was here, with my wife, and it would always be home wherever we were together, but Home was still Home, where we had grown, where our parents lived their lives.

“Mam? It’s me”

“Is there a problem, cariad? You sound strained”

“Not a problem, Mam. Got Sar on the phone. She has news. News about her and Tony”

Mam was silent, and then I heard her talking to Dad with her hand muffling the phone, before she returned to me.

“Your father says that he does not believe the man you have described would do again what Sarah suffered. That means one thing, and one only. He has offered her his own life to share, which means you are both concerned at how we will react”

“You have it exactly right, Mam. He has proposed, she has accepted, she has a ring”

“Then your father and I are agreed. This is a very good man she has found, a very good man indeed, and we will both be proud to welcome him and his little boy to our family. Wait…”

There was more muttering from the other end, and a happy laugh from Mam.

“And Dad says he now has a grandson to spoil, so your sister has finally done her daughterly duty! Finish this talk with your sister, and we shall await her IMMEDIATE call to us. And tell her we love her”

“You can do that yourself when she calls”

“No. ‘We’ are four people. Tell her that”

I did as she asked, passing on the rest of their words, and as Sarah hung up I am sure she was crying. As I put the phones away, I saw that my wife was crying too.