Sara looked over at her twin daughter asleep next to her. They where afraid of flying so she was glad they where sleeping instead of worrying. Sara was thirty-five years old, happily married, and has two beautiful 9 year-old daughters, named Ashley and Megan. Her daughters had blonde hair like she did but her husbands deep brown eyes.
"Attention passengers, this is you captain speeking, we seem to have lost power in our outer starbord motor, its nothing to worry about but we will be landing at..."
Sara didn't hear the rest as the announcement woke up her daughters and they started freaking out.
" hey, hey, the captain said it would be alright, listen when we get to cali we will tell your father not to take our bags back to the hotel t hen we will all go out for some ice-cream and ill get you girls some new shoes... sound good?" Sara said to her daughters in a soothing voice only available to an experienced mother.
A huge eplosion shook the aircraft and the O2 masks dropped down from the ceiling. Sara grabbed both her children and held them in a protective hug. The plane was dipping to the right and its nose was starting to point towards the ground. The aircraft started to spin and sarah knew that they wouldent survive.
She prayed. She prayed for her children, and her husband. She peayed that her children would experience a painless death and that her husband could find the strength to continue with his life. She prayed that her husband could still be that good person he is inside and that the lord would be kind to him and ease his pain in this world. She prayexd that he find love again. ...
She could see out of the window that they where nearingt the ground... she started to sing to her children.
"Don't you cry
Don't you worry child
The lord is here
Here with you
Here to.....
Joseph just got off the phone... his wife, his two beautiful daughters where dead. They couldent recover the bodies. Burnt... unrecognizable... planecrash... no survivors.
Joseph went to the nightstand and opened the top drawer. He pulled out the pistol that he kept in there and thought about how much sara hated it. He racked the slide and put it to his head... he looked at the picture of his wife and kids on the night stand and pullled the trigger.
@@@@@@@@@@11@@@
I know there are a lot of errors but I typed this on my phone in the mall... I had an idea and had to get it down... tell me what y'all think.
Comments
Wow! Not a comedy then
Just guessing where you are going the religious aspect will take careful handling.
Rhona McCloud
Looks interesting…
And I'd like to see where it goes. But… you may want to watch your editing, whatever you're converting it from. There are a couple of formatting issues.
Never mind about the formatting,
I didn't see the part about done on your phone. Sorry…
I've been there.....
And not too long ago. This is a story that I am not quite sure I am comfortable with.
I didn't lose my children or my wife to death, but rather those closer to me. Those bonded to my soul by shared experience, welded to my being by fire. Those that I swore to protect and to bring home - and failed in my duty.
Yes, I have sat in the dark and stared at my pistol - even tasted the gun oil on the slide. But somehow I always found a reason not to pull the trigger.
More recently, I lost my wife and children due to my decision to be myself. Not to death, but to life. Hopefully I will get them back.
I hope you find it within yourself to continue the story, and to take it someplace less dark.
Dallas
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
Just a couple of comments
If it's in a plane, then it would be "outer starboard engine". A motor is something that has the energy supplied to it, like an electric motor. Now, that's American English. If you're from a different part of the world, that comment may not be applicable.
I'm not sure I like the husband's reaction to the news. But I'll reserve judgement until I've seen more of the story.
An interesting start.
One wonders where it will go next.
As an earlier commenter mentioned, it would be the engine that blew up etc.
But a good start.
Has good potential Chii
I would like to see more of it written out. I know the desire to get it down some place. I hope more of the story will soon be coming
Hugs, JessieC
Jessica E. Connors
Jessica Connors
yeah
I have an idea of where I wanna go with it and I think I'm just gonna wing it right onto the site. that way Im not worrying about if it sounds good. most often I write something and its great then I change it because I didn't think ire was good.
♥♥
Jessica dear, this......
Is a dark place your taking us to. I'm not sure what could of inspired it, I certainly hope your ok young one! Loving Hugs Talia
it just came to me
In the shower. I started thinking about the husband, then hoe o could change him, then how he would gte to this point. it all evolved from am idea that a guy lost everything and some divine power intervenes.
♥♥
Well, religious themed
Well, religious themed stories are always risky. This could be very good or very bad.
At this point I'm curious what's going to happen next.