Descriptiveness in stories

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So, I've resumed working on two Sci Fi stories right now that have been in the oven for three plus years. I've been preoccupied with other activities that are both thankless at times and hard work, and now I feel worn out and bitter.

I've returned to writing full time, and want these tales to be wonderful. In College when I was taking creative writing there were lots of admonishments to describe, describe, describe. And I can only think of a few authors here who do a passable job of that, though many of the stories are entertaining, and fun.

For me, "Gift of the Unicorn" contained a lot of thoughtful description. Then there are a few others which do also; often describing the wet grass, and the sleek jeans, and the razor sharp swords.

So now I realize that some stories one just wolfs down and the reader smacks his lips with satisfaction, while others are chewed and rolled in one's mouth while the flavor is savored.

It takes a lot of thoughtful effort and re-writing to do a descriptive, superbly written story and just now, I am wondering what a good medium point would be? Are certain types of stories more suited for flowery writing? Perhaps in situations of extreme combat, one would not wish to bother with a lot of description, or perhaps the description would improve the story?

Khadijah Gwen Bint Boucher. :)

Comments

Wheel of Time

If you have read the Wheel of Time series there are a few books where the author over did the descriptiveness. For many readers his over emphasis on how the woman and men were dressed became trivial in the story plot. His descriptions of the mountains and such were necessary but to describe on and on about the various forms of clothing nearly cost him his readers. It was fortunate that he managed to discover his flaw and go back to the fundamentals of his story that allowed his readers to stay for after 13 long books it was satisfying even after his untimely death.

Of course I wasted a lot of my effort on L.R. Hubbard's story about a fake prince and an adventure. To this day I never bought the last 2 books of 11, because it was a mash-up of crap. Oh the time I wasted on that series. And I still have a copy of his Dante book also somewhere up in the attic gathering dust.

As for yours Gwen I can be assured that you will not be in the second class but the first. This is not to say that you will follow exactly what Robert Jordan did but to keep focused and remember your readers. But foremost its you that has to be satisfied first before you allow others to see what you want to be seen.

Ibi

Thank you.

Thank you for the wonderfully supportive comment. I shall endeavor not to disappoint.

G

Good Writing Takes Time

Good writing takes time, but in today's internet rush the bad drives out the good. The great classics of literature were written at a pace of a page or so a day. Herbert's "Dune" and Tolstoy's "War in Peace" each took a decade to write. Now hack novelists knock off a novel in a month, and it shows in the quality of the writing.

I was once told that to be a great writer you have to write for yourself, not for the market / audience / online reviews. What this means is that you have to be willing to craft the "perfect" story even if you think no one will ever read it.

Anyway, keep up with your writing.

Hiker_JPG_1.jpg

I was once told

That you take the first million words you write and throw them away. Now of course it's published as Twilight fanfiction :)

For me it's over descriptive when it feels forced or gratuitious. Writing that drags on and on.

The Police Report

When I write the rough draft of a story, it just feels like a Police Report. Then thoughts of the tale begin to come to me on a long bike ride, sitting in a hot tub, or sometimes even sitting in front of this keyboard. Hmph! I never keep a pad and pen on my night stand. Beds are for sleeping, not obsessing about vain tales.

Mmmm it is only 1:30 AM, and I am watching "The Princess Diaries". I thought it would be better to try to write and watch this movie rather than hang myself, right?

Gadfrey, I had forgotten she had an electric scooter and lit the mans sleeve on fire !!!

G

Thank you.

I am so looking forward to this time writing again.

G

This comment reminds me of my

SaraKel's picture

This comment reminds me of my own struggle. I finished a story a few months ago and I had no idea if it was any good. I loved the way everything came out but it felt like I'd spent a lot of time on it but at the same time it felt rushed. Did I spend enough time to create a setting? I knew I hadn't given as many facts as I could have but was the setting pertinent to the story? Would describing something as minute as the smells of a locker room detract or add to the story for the reader?

I think the truth is it depends on the reader as they all like something a little different. I made the conscious choice to write for myself and to try to ignore the voices of doubt. I'm not writing for money so while I hope people like my stories in some ways ... I asked myself if the reader is getting fair value for their only investment which is time.

Most people read about 250 words a minute. My last story flowed from me over a frantic two weeks as I felt a desperate need to finish. The final product was 20,000 words and I knew I'd spent at least 80 hours on it. That meant I averaged an hour to finish the 250 words the reader would finish in a minute.

Was it enough? Was it too much? I felt myself obsessing and I went to my refuge when I don't know an answer - the internet. The answer of course is it depends on the writer though it surprised me how many famous writers obsess much more than me. Stephen King is one of the most prolific writers alive and his method is to write every morning until he's finished 2000 words. He finishes his process before lunch which means he writes about 300-400 words an hour. On the other hand many writers obsess over every word choice and do about 50 words an hour. That's one word a minute and as I considered that I realized that my time spent wasn't atypical and if anything I probably needed to take a little more time as I'm no Stephen King.

The key for me is to force myself to write even when I'm not inspired. Every story I feel a little more confident and the words get easier each time. Every writer's style is different and the key is to continue to write until you discover your own.

How does one reconcile...

Ragtime Rachel's picture

...the exhortation to "describe, describe, describe" with the equally insistent one that says "Show, don't tell!" They seem to be at cross purposes.

Livin' A Ragtime Life,
aufder.jpg

Rachel

It Depends On the Situation

I give you a scene as an example:

Is the lamp on the dresser important?
Is the dress she is wearing important?
Is how he walked into the room?

Now same scene:

He open the door, pulled out his revolver and shot her once in the stomach, then the chest and finally in the head.

Such violence

You forgot about how he opened the door and strolled into the room as she tried vainly to get away only to have her shot in the stomach. Clutching her wound, the blood seeped through her dress staining her hands as he proceeded to fire another round where she struggled up only to knock over the lamp when the round pierced her chest. Ensuring that she was dead he fired once more placing the bullet between her eyes and through her head.

Yes each has its purpose when used correctly. Perhaps the writer needed the lamp to light the room as there was not ceiling light.

But your point was made.

I believe that the level of description should depend on

the reader's familiarity with the subject matter: that is to say, the more familiar they are with what is around them, the less description you need.

As an example, I could spend three pages describing to the reader a small rural bank's appearance -- the bored clerks, the peeling paper, the out-of-date magazines and whatnot -- and none of it would be information the reader couldn't easily put in place on their own from personal experience. Many real-world or throwaway locations can get by with little to no description because the reader already knows what it looks like.

On the other hand, in a fantasy setting descriptions can be very important to set the mood of the story. If you have these fantastic visions of how your world works and what it means to the people there, describing it in detail can help your readers to see what you see, and learn how to interpret areas of the world you might not describe in such detail.

Another thing, to me, that makes a difference, is viewpoint in a book. Depending on what viewpoint the writer takes can, and should, affect the level of description they put into their world. A first-person narrative in particular should focus detail on those things important to the character because the story isn't about the place, but about how the character experiences the place. A third-person view can be more detached, and give more opportunity for description, but at the cost of the immediacy and intimacy with the experience.

Just all personal opinion, of course, from someone who the majority of the time would rather let readers build their own version of the world rather than tell them how the world looks to me.

Melanie E.

Time...

erin's picture

The level of description is a measure of subjective time. Does the viewpoint character have all the time needed to note lots of things, some important, some mere color or even red herrings. Are things in a rush so only the highlights of description can be taken in. Or is action at such a fever pitch that time slows down and once again, there is time to note lots of things.

The amount and type of description and the feel of subjective time is one of the writer's tools that can be learned and practiced but seldom mastered.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

So, First Person, Third Person ?

So, one of the stories is stewing along and so far is all in third person. I would so loved to have been the protagonist. She is deeply imbedded in my heart of hearts. Still, I feared that I could not make her feel real in first person. What say ye?

G

Do Not

Second guess your self. You have a great feel for your story's so please do not try to jump to our opinions. There are times extra details add to a story when something is being set up. But the action scene or the long travel scenes that I am having trouble in keeping the Atmospherics under control.

When Charles Dickens would read A Christmas Carol there was a lot he crossed out in his personal copy of the book. They got in the way.

Your writing is excellent so how can you improve on that. So please be careful when editing or writing to remodel not re-muddle your works.

Love and huggles

Michele
AKA Misha Nova

PS
In the beginning of CD Christmas Carol where Scrooge's house was described as having gotten lost playing hide and seek as a child.
And his diatribe over Marley being dead as a door nail, is great, I love his coffin nail comment.

With those with open eyes the world reads like a book

celtgirl_0.gif

Transformation, makeup, sex

I've stated a few times these are the only things a good amount of TG fiction readers want descriptions of. One of my stories had an interruption for someone to tell me that written into the story.

I remember one story I wrote where one reviewer complained there was no hot sex and another reviewer didn't care much for a descriptions.

Good descriptions make a story better if there focused on something important.

Daniel, author of maid, whore, bimbo, and sissy free TG fiction since 2000

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.- Oscar Levant

The problem.

The problem is that there are those that just want the writer to conform to their interests and tastes. You've heard it before, "If it was me I'd do this," or "I feel that the character should be doing this."

We have to take those comments with a grain of salt. If they are so inclined to tell us 'how' we should tell the story then I feel 'they' should be the ones doing the writing and I doing the reading. If I want smut or such there, then I will put it there.

I've heard how some readers of the '50 shades' series felt that there still wasn't enough gratuitous sex in there for them. Those to me are just voyagers who no longer can appease themselves without going over the top.

Gendered Language

It's possible that the difference in reception of your stories could be based on how men and women use language differently. There's a theory that says girls use more adjectives than boys.