Heart ofthe Beholden.

The Parchment Chapter 5

*Before…
Donna turns on me and she throws the scroll case at me whacking me in the face with it. “You effing little gold digger!”
She’s actually grabbed at that point and I’m holding my eye because she whacked me there with it and yeah…ow…
They’re pulling her away and she’s looking at Alex and she goes all pleady.
“Alex! Alex please don’t let them do this! We’ve been friends for a long time!”
Alexander looks at her. “We might go to school together but now I’m pretty sure that we’ve never really been friends Donna.”
They leave taking her out and she’s causing s a scene the whole way out and Alexander looks at me and he actually reaches down and takes a drink of his cider and says after it in this very elven mannered way.
“I’d have called her a gold digger but I honestly don’t think I dislike dwarves enough to insult them so.”

*And Now…

Okay I’m like OMG kinda stunned.

I mean…I timed him in to hopefully like give him an excuse to like be not him but to like stand up for himself more and stuff but…but oh wow.

And I’m not the only one wow’d.

There’s the people around us and they’re smiling and nodding at us and sort of more at Alex or Alexander and he sort of loses his composure with that and he’s blushing now and he waves his hand sort of and sits back down and I do the same.

“Wow, that was intense.”

“Yes…it was.”

He looks upset, or like he’s getting there.

I do the time out hand sign. “Alex?”

He looks at me. “Jade I’m sorry; I didn’t know she’d throw that at you.”

“Yeah me neither or go pyscho and claw me yanking it out of my hand.”

He looks at me and then my hand and he look a little pale.

“Alex? You okay? You don’t look so good.”

“I…I…I think I need some air.”

I get up. “Okay, come on.” I get up and get my purse and take him by the arm. “Let’s go for a walk.”

“But Supper?”

“We can eat something g else later besides the caviar was way too expensive.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“No but you didn’t like it and it was expensive.”

He gives me this weak smile but I try and give him a good smile back and I pull him along with me and I take us through the lobby and just outside through the side doors to where they kind of nice rambling patio that leads to their pool area I think. I’m more looking for just a place for us to sit.

I get us over to a bench and I get both of us sat down.

Alex’s eyes look shiny, and he’s hovering right on that edge.

I slip my hand under my dress and sit next to him and rub his back. “It’s okay, it’s okay just breathe.”

“It’s not okay; it’s not Jade I mean she…”

“I know, that was majorly uncools.”

He nods and he kind of tries to gesture with his hands as he’s talking. “I soooo liked her, I mean I’ve lived at the end of her street like all my life and I’ve always done stuff for her. I mean she had to know how I felt right?”

“She likely did but I’ve got those people back home too and they only really notice anyone Alex when they can get something for themselves out of it.”

“I…I know she was one of the popular girls but she wasn’t when we were kids, we used to hand out together and stuff all the time.”

I rub his back some more and I tuck some loose hair behind the points of his ears. “How long ago was that though?”

“Grade school.”

“Alex people change and sometimes pretty fast and not for the better.”

“But….” He’s getting even more worked up and he’s trying to get it out and then it happens. That sound that is that little note that happens when cracks happen in someone’s voice just before they start to cry that’s when cracks happen in someone’s heart too.

I can’t help but to feel for him. I can’t help but to get it really and I can’t help but to actually need, need to be that kinda girl that reaches out to help instead of hurt.

(Sniffle-sob) “I…I…I thought that she actually liked me…that she was trying to be into the stuff that I’m into instead of….instead of all that stuff that… (Sniffle-pained throat sound.)

I pull him into my arms and settle in hugging him. I’d likely freak out and get all too scared and too nervous thinking about doing what I’m doing and stuff but it’s like there’s this switch in my head that I can sort of flip on when others need me that sets all my garbage back out of the way.

“I put all that time… (Sob.)…all that time not doing stuff but… (Sniffle)…working for this…for us I so wanted to so her… (Sob.)…show her that I’m not a loser… (Sob.)

Alex kind of breaks down at that and I’m already holding me tightly and stuff so I sort of keep doing that and I kind of rock us a little too and stroke his hair some with my fingertips and just try to be there.

It’s intense and it’s something I’ve never really done before really but it’s also something that as much as I know who I’m always supposed to have been instead of “Franklin.” That this is me and this is who I am really supposed to be.

Doing this and being here and being this kind if girl is so right now almost as every bit as transformative as the first time I dressed and saw the real me in there. This time it’s inside to out instead of outside to in.

And being here is really awkward too.

I mean as much as I’m a girl I’ve never had the chance to be a girl so I don’t have the experience of doing this kind of stuff with my friends and all that stuff. And most of the time if I had tried it would have been something like “get off creep” with the girls at school and “leggo fag” with the guys.

I mean you kinda notice things like the way that people talk about minorities when there are none there. Canada is nice, Nova Scotia’s nice it really is but there’s a lot of people that aren’t as nice as they let on that they are. I mean when some of my friends made tranny comment’s on the girl that had to fight to get into that pageant of Donald Combover’s…it kind of makes your heart sink and makes you feel unsafe.

No I don’t think that I’d get beaten up. Or at least not by everybody my town’s not like that but teased, bullied and other stuff who knows?

I reach into my purse after a while and take out some tissues and I wipe at his face and lean over to smile at him. “Here, maybe you should blow.”

He takes the tissues and he looks at them and at me and I grin at him. “Hey we just met I don’t give strange elves blow jobs.” I try and make a funny face after that and he smiles and he laughs.

Okay there is something too in that first laugh and a first smile after a painful cry that just transforms someone that you’re with. It’s actually amazing…it’s so naked and rare really.

“You know you’re awesome right Jade?”

I shake my head. “No…actually I don’t Alex; all of the attention in my life’s pretty much been only on Frankie.”

“Frankie?”

“My alter-ego.”

“Oh…” He’s quiet a second thinking stuff over and all that I guess. It feels super awkward and super inside achy that I pretty much just reminded Alex of the whole Jade’s not a natural girl thing.

“Sorry…” Honestly it takes a whole lot more strength that I thought that I had to look him in the eyes.

“For what?” He’s looking at me and there’s some honest confusion there.

“My grim reminder.”

And he starts to laugh….okay I might be Cosplay braining it but he has this really light laugh, like in tone and pitch and it’s sort of guy and not but it’s kind of musical. It’s actually to me kinda nice but very likely one of those “not manly enough get him” things the bullies love.

Actually Alex is laughing until he starts to cough and I’m rubbing his back again. “What the heck is so funny?”

“I’ve never heard to that called grim before!”

“Okay, I’m usually pretty good at this stuff but I’m not getting it.”

“You called your THING…Grim.”

“……………………….” I…and my mental nerd-calc is going through the equations and adding XY to stand for guyese and… “Oh! No! Eeew! Eeew! Gross Alex!”

And I’m slapping his arm and shoulder girl mad and semi-yicked out and stuff.

Which has him being such a guy and laughing more. “It’s clobbering time!”

“Eeeeew! Never!”

I shove myself away and cross my arms under my breasts and sulky-glare at him.

“Never?’

“No…that’s not me…it’ll never really be me Alex it’s part of me I hate…it makes me feel wrong…it makes me feel fake all the time… (Sniffle.)…Dammit…”

I start to dab at my eyes with some tissues but it’s not helping…the dysphonia pixie’s stabbed me in the back again and the hurt is strong right now.

More tears are flowing from both eyes so I dab at one and the other runs and Alex is looking at me and he slides over to me and he dabs and wipes my face gently but not with tissue but with a cloth handkerchief that matches his tunic.

“Hey…look Jade…I think you’re awesome and I was just…it was me kind of being an ass with that…I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I really didn’t mean to trigger you or anything…I mean I think you’re actually really awesome.”

(Sniffle.) “You said awesome twice…what are we on Chuck?”

He chuckles and smiles. “I loved that show.”

“Me too, I so wanted to be Kristin Kreuk…kinda still do.”

“Well I think Jade’s pretty awesome.”

“Well Jade’s…” He puts his finger over my lips.

“Don’t. I like jade and I only know Jade.” Oh my goddess that’s so… I think that I am honestly to god and the goddess having my first real life crush coming to life right here and now. I’ve never…this is something that…wow my heart id beating soooo fast.

“Alex…just…wow…”

And he gives me this really sweet smile, actually the sweetest guy smile that I’ve ever seen and it’s just so amazing.

His pocket hums and he looks at me as he takes out his phone and he looks at it and he puts it away and then he looks at me and he does the time-in signal.

“There is a fete and it has the local dancing M’lady Jade would you see fit to accompany me to this affair?”

“A fete? Oh a dance.” I’ve never danced as me before. I’m trying not to bite at my lip. “Will my attire be alright?”

“Perfectly suitable.”

“I’ll need to touch up my make-up.”

“As you will, I think I could use a few moments to regain myself as well.”

I smile. “You sure that you want me to accompany to this? A handsome elf such as yourself will be not lacking partners.”

“The very same could be said of you Lady Jade.” He says it with this…it’s so calm and warm and elf-like in the best of Legolas-like ways. I know he’s…buy it’s still pretty yay to me.

And just the thought of someone like me attracting attention from other dance partners makes me blush and stuff.

Alex offers his hand again and I take it and he walks me inside and we make our ways to the public bathrooms and part ways there and I go and I look myself in the mirror. Yeah I need some work and there’s a nice red mark on my cheek from the scroll case that Donna threw at me.

I start by washing my face and losing the whole face tattoo mark that Psylocke has and I don’t have the stuff to fix it so I just do my make-up at this point trying to look good…decent…I’m nervous too because there’s other girls around and I’m getting looks and stuff and some were at the dining room.

I look at them and I blush but I get some smiles and I even get a thumbs up and a pat of the shoulder from the dwarven decker girl.

“Good job.”

“Uhm…thanks, great costume.”

“Thanks I love it.”

“Most girls wouldn’t be brave enough to do the beard.”

“Yeah I know but the seriously have like expectation issues with what they think that dwarves are like and stuff.”

“Oh I get it I’m Asian. We’re all expected to know how to do martial arts or be able to like make bento boxes and be like all super cute and have this thing for school uniforms.”

We both laugh and she extends her hand. “Natasha.”

“Jade.”

“Sinclair?”

My eyes go wide. “No way…you read….?”

“Uhm hello dwarven chick with a beard!”

We both end up laughing. I look her over and honestly I’m not sure but at the same time I don’t care. And if she’s like me or the other way around no one in here seems to mind I mean there’s a girl doing some combing and stuff to get her female wookie costume looking right.

It’s kind of nice and a relief too.

I look at her. “So what are you doing next?”

“I’m sitting in on that new Robotech war game and seeing if I want to buy it or not.”

“I haven’t seen that yet.”

“It’s Macross stuff so all Zentradie and stuff.”

“Cool, let me know if it is good. I love Macross and stuff I’m a fan of anime and Mecha stuff.”

“So what are you doing?”

“Alexander’s talking me to the dance tonight?”

“Oh that’s supposed to be fun. I heard it’s like lessons and stuff in the whole old school Ren-fair dances.”

“That, that would be cool. Talk later?”

“Sure let’s trade phone stuff and e-mails.”

We trade off phones and we enter our own stuff in and then we actually hug and head out and she wave bye as she goes off in another direction and Alexander is there and he’s waiting for me.

And he has his tunic off and draped over his arm and the shirt he’s wearing is actually pretty much one of those buccaneer shirts but a soft goldenrod color and it has the laced collar style and there’s stags in bronzen thread and trees on the sleeves which matches the brown in the dress pants that he’s wearing and it’s just baggy enough that he doesn’t look too skinny.

He offers his hand again and I take it and we head off together into the convention room that has been set aside for the dancing and he actually has tickets for this too meaning it’s not just a show up event but something else.

I can’t help but have this big oh…form in my mouth as the place is really nicely decorated in this like period sort of way and even the walls are hidden behind floor to ceiling drapery and there’s a band there and what looks like a set up for a D.J.

I’m not the only person there not in medieval clothing so that helps and we’re waiting patiently while an older guy in like his forties comes out with a woman and some others that just sort of move like dancers and they actually do sort of put on a bit of a show for us.

We all clap because it was cool and then they start with the whole event.

The people are clearly dance instructor types and they start with each dance set with a screen up behind the stage that shows the dance we’re going to learn being done and then they start to play music after that and they start to teach us how to do each one.

It’s so much fun really, the bows and the curtsey’s and the arms and hands up and alighting on the tips of the other and the turns and the spins and stuff that all fits together into the whole thing and some of them have us turning and switching partners and back as we sort of dance in circles and rounds.

I really kind of wish that I had a Ren-fair dress for this but it’s still awesome all the same. And it’s a lot of fun dancing with Alexander who’s still doing his elf LARP and that actually makes it seem like I am dancing with an elf really with the way that he looks and is dressed and how all out he was for her.

I feel bad for him but not for Donna, it’s just…I mean if she can’t get her head around how much he’d done and planned for and thought of by the supper and then the tickets for this then it’s her damned stupid loss isn’t it.

And kind of a serious real princess moment for me.

I didn’t think that it’s get better but it actually does…we go over one last set of dancing stuff and the instructor grins and the band starts to play a familiar tune and I’m dancing and I can’t quite place it until there’s the dance part with the claps…

Oh my freaking gods!!!

I get thrill bumps as the band goes from playing to the D.J. cueing up and sliding us into *Golden Years* By David Bowie…and yeah just like that really cool Ren-Dance scene from the Heath Leger Movie *A Knight’s Tale*

Clap in the air…hold hands…promenade around each other…hold hands and bow/curtsey twice once per hand…arm swish and promenade…turn round each other…dip the knees facing each other…circle again…clap in the air…swish arms and mosey and spin turn…tea pinkie walk and face others in a group and…long promenade while arm swishing to the end of the dance floor…hop and turn…

And then it starts…

“Golden years… gold, whop, whop, whop…”
“Golden years… gold, whop, whop, whop…”
“Golden years… gold, whop, whop, whop…”
“Don’t let me hear that life’s not taking you anywhere…Angel….!”