Sixteen Feet of Steel Chapter 3

Chapter 3

*Before…

She steps away from her rig and over to me and she takes my hand. “I’m Nicole McKinnon squire to Lady Tatiana, Knight Marshal of The West and I swear to you Lady Lyonnes I will see you safely to Serenity.”
It’s a handshake and my mouth’s dry again and she said it with utter seriousness and real conviction.
It’s time…I guess, time for me to face this.
“Christian, Christian Lyonnes last son of the house of Lions.”
Hawk does this stop-look-stare mid packing and she huffs out a chuckle that kind of makes me angry and Nicole looks at me and she holds my eyes. There’s a look in her eyes that actually seems compassionate.
“We had better then get you to Lady Tatiana and The Fortress.”
I nod and swallow… “Can I help?”
Hawk’s the one that responds first. “Aye Ladyship, get to the fire and snuff it well before we leave.”
Ladyship…

*And Now…

And the fire…well at least this I know how to do I’ve been on a few hunting trips with father and my brothers and as the youngest it was one of the things I was made to do…well some of the times. Usually we had men with us for that and such of course.

I look for water but none is there to be had so I start trying to smother it with some of the dirt that’s there by the fireside.

“Here ladyship!” Hawk says as she tosses something at me. I catch it and look it over and it’s this oddly made garden spade? Though it looks very odd and it’s sharpened too and one edge has teeth like a saw?

She’s watching me as she’s packing things with this look of bemusement and some exasperation too and I look at Nicole who smiles at me. “Push the pin in by the head and it’ll fold.”

Oh…it’s a device?

I find this pin and push it in and the head folds down like a pick and I get it now it’s some kind of clever multi-tool. It even looks like the handle slides. I start digging under the coals and turning fresh dirt over on top of them until there is no more smoke rising and just to be sure I tamp it all down good.

It’s work and doubly so fighting my clothes. I wasn’t a big lad but now I’m swimming as they’d put it in my trousers and shirts and tunic. My feet though seem okay, my boots fit if a bit looser at the tops. I’ll need to fix this situation though.

I look at the device. “Dwarven?”

Hawk shakes her head. “Relic from the ancients.”

Really? “I thought relics were items of power and such?”

Hawk looks at me. “Utility is the flour to knowledge’s bread. I’m well served by the trenchers tool.”

I walk it over and return it to her. “Could copies be made?”

“There are copies at the fortress but our metals don’t last anywhere like the things the ancients made. This doesn’t rust and it doesn’t seem to wear down anywhere near as much as anything we would make.”

“Well thank you for the loan.”

She looks me up and down. I’m not too sure she’s keen on nobility…some people aren’t treated well by some of us and I’ve seen some very rude things. I offer my hand to her.

“You’re not sore about me wicking your lamp?”

“Plenty sore, it hurts a lot but I’m not sure I’m mad about it. I’d think that it might just have been good sense?”

“Aye…they’d avoid the sounds of a moving Squire’sknight rig but it wasn’t moving and you were screaming and the screams of a woman would pull them like a dinner bell.”

I color at that. “I should have had more sense than that.”

She looks at me. “You were in shock, aside that you’re as green as they come I’d wager.”

More blushing. “Yes…I was never really taught all the things that I’ve been needing so far.”

She looks at me curiously. “What were you taught?”

“I’m… (Deep-strange-breath.)… I’m the youngest of three sons. I wasn’t looking to rule I was going to be knighted as I needed to be but I had to be useful to a house I was going to marry into if I would be lucky enough.”

“You weren’t a page?”

“I was, under my father and the house knights but it was my first year.”

“That’s old for that.”

“Well it was just so I could get knighted. I’d have gotten my shield a my coming of age and that would be that.”

“So you know what then?”

“Reading, writing, mathematics, astronomy and tings around the castle.”

“Defense?”

“Some, I know some sword work and shield but fencing and the knife most of all.”

“Knife work?”

“Narrow walls and halls if something did happen then the dagger is best.”

She nods. “So what other things?”

“Warehousing mostly, I was page to my father’s scribe knight mostly. It was decided that I should be skilled at making myself useful to the lords of whatever place I’d get squired to.”

“Sound’s like a woman’s lot.”

“My sisters were trained in hospitality and court graces and looking lovely and such things nothing like I was learning.”

“I meant common women, what you bring to a household is often part of marriages in some parts.”

“Where you’re from then?”

“Aye, I even had my teeth checked when I was offered up to be wed.”

“You’re married then?”

“Widowed actually.” She doesn’t seem that unhappy about it.

“Neither by choice?”

“No, I’m from the south if ye can’t tell by my coloring and my life was bought an sold by my family…ten silver for being untouched, another two because I can sew and knit well enough and another silver since I can cook without killing my guests.”

I frown. It’s barbaric.

She looks at me as she finishes and closes the packs. “Is it different where you’re from.”

“It is, people can’t be married by the will of the families anymore and a woman’s skills are her own.”

“In the south we’re under rule of our father’s until we marry then we’re members of our husbands households…like chattel.”

“If I can ask? How are you here?”

“My husband died of consumption and when I didn’t succumb like others did I was to blame being young and pretty and the new face in the village. So when I refused to get re-married to the headman’s son so he could have my husband’s lands an flocks I was accused of witchery and sentenced to be burned alive.”

My gorge rises some…I can see the fames almost in her eyes from the memories.

“I’m sorry.”

“Well after the men of the village took their turns raping me we was attacked and everyone slaughtered by the local lord to cull the disease. I was left for dead because I was nearly so already and it was a caravan from Lady Tatiana coming through that found me and took me home.”

“Oh…” I don’t know what to say after that.

I follow her to Nicole who is already set and waiting for us and she’s sitting in her rig cage. “Ladyship, you can climb in here with me, there’s scant room but there is some you’re in no shape for a long trek.”

“I…I can walk thank you.”

Hawk looks at me. “You’re really not in shape enough for the trek, it is far.”

“I want to carry my own weight.”

She looks at me and nods and starts hiking. Nicole closes her cage hatch sealing the chest plate and she starts the big eight foot machine moving.

I am tired, I am sore but I need space….I need space more than anything right now.

As I walk I think, try to figure it out.

Why me?

I get saving me, she saved likely as many as she could.

But making me this? Changing me to this? Giving me her powers?

I’m sure she gave me her powers, I did the ball thing…It only made sense.

And changing me made sense.
Pull my damned trousers up.

I know, I know…see men can be magisters but while they have sacred and almost mystical knowledge they do not wield actual power.

Only women can do that.

And Lady Aurora’s father.

Rory Blackhand, The Witch King.

And in my father’s youth he nearly conquered everything with that power backed behind that will of man. He was the thing of nightmares from the stories I’ve ever heard.

Pull my damned trousers up.

But…that it’s me.

It leaves this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I’m the last heir of Lyonnes even if I’ve been changed into a woman.

I do another look at myself, chest, everything…well maybe a girl not a woman yet.

But still heir and still this…heir to her powers?

What the hells am I going to do with that?

How am I going to do it?

I look up after a third pull of my trousers and I’m lagging behind some. Nicole’s picking something up that looks like a bag and she’s stowing it inside her rig. I hurry to catch up but I don’t see Hawk anywhere.

(Pant…pant…) “Where’s Hawk…”

“She’s off ahead, scouting and ranging.”

“Oh…” Well of course she is, now I feel stupid.

“Uhm, what was that?” I gesture the second bag she‘s picking up. It’s thin very basic cloth but full of things.

Nicole actually pulls the rigs whole arm into her rig cage in the chest and it’s very surreal seeing the rig arm and her arm are both in sight and it’s a rare thing to see actually and the skills are definitely there as she proceeds to smell the bag.

“Herbs I think, the first one’s berries.”

“You’re very good in that.”

“It’s my trade Lady I have to be.”

“Maybe it’s better to just call me Chris?”

“I can’t do that, you’re a lady.”

Blink… okay, she’s right but I’m not used to it but there’s still her honor at using the proper language so I might be faulting her there if I press it.

“I’m a page technically and pages have no titles and I’m on foreign lands. I’m not sure I’m anything until your mistress says that I am.”

She looks at me and then like she’s mulling it over. “The change, this disturbs you getting called that?”

“Truthfully yes, you keep saying it and I feel like looking around for her.”

I pull my damned trousers up again.

She grins. “Aye, I can call you Chris, but you might want to think of a ladies name for future use.”

“I will?”

“Chris or Christian might cause a stir and recognition you may not want.”

“Oh…”

“And let’s get you sorted.” She unhooks and climbs out of her rig.

“Sorted?”

“Aye your clothes.”

“Oh yes dammit can we?”

“Yes, for your sanity and Jessa’s.”

“Jessa?”

“Hawk.”

“Oh…I didn’t get her first name.”

“Oh likely since she didn’t give it. Jessa’s not good with people.”

“Given all that’s happened to her I don’t doubt it.”

“She told you?”

“Some.”

“Aye she only ever says some. Now strip.” I blink again as she pus a bag of things from her rig’s back?

“What’s, oh a compartment that’s handy I’ve never seen that before.”

“Aye but you’re used to courtyard trainers, we patrol as squires and keep supplies and such.”

I start getting out of my clothes and it’s still cold and I’m blushing and turning red even though we’re both women and she’s taking my things and looking them over as I look for a place and a way to make water.

Nicole looks at me head tilted. “What are you doing?”

“I need to pee.”

“Oh, go ahead then and here.”

She tosses me a roll of bandage?

“What’s this for?”

“To wipe with.”

“I’m peeing not…” Then it occurs to me…. “Oh I guess I can’t just shake it now can I?”

She’s trying not to laugh at me. “No lady…no Chris, though would be and interesting dance to see you try.”

“Ha-ha very funny.” I take it and mince my way to some bushes. I’m not used to walking in the wilds in my bare feet.

I find a spot and squat and get a shock at the feeling and then I’m splashing myself!

“Dammit! Eeew!”

I hear muffled laughter.

“It’s not fun…” Of course me not used to this at all I have no balance like this and fall back and into my puddle.

“Aaaugh!”

She comes running and with sword drawn.

Of course she stops and see’s me and turns her back to me and laughs.

I could have easily burst into tears I guess but it’s just so odd a thing to have happen in my life and it just kind of fills my ridiculous jug over.

I start laughing too.

Nicole comes over. (Chuckles) “I’m sorry; this is the first time you’ve ever done this in your life isn’t it?”

“Yes, not help me up dammit.”

She offers her hand and pulls me up like I’m a feather. That’s actually normal Battleknight users are in the best of condition because it takes so much to move them. It’s why there are different sized ones as well to graduate to the strength and skill required.

Even outside of their rigs they are deadly warriors, elite…strong and fast…you’d be fast too without all that weight you’re used to using.

She looks at me. “Let’s get you cleaned off.”

“Gladly.”

“Oh when you wipe, front to back.”

“What?”

“Illness…female problems.”

“Baking death?”

Nicole goggles at me. “What?”

“My sister Anna she said something of her having a yeast infection once. She called in The Baking death once.”

“You know what that is?”

“Aye somewhat. I read some of the texts the master physician had when I’d help out.”

“You’d help out?”

“There was a couple of times when a strong fever would it the township and I could read and mix herbs and grind things.”

“Most men wouldn’t.”

“Not much choice when all are sick, I can cook a little too.”

“Rare bird for your parts.”

“Not much but soups, oatmeal the like. I’m no savory cook or baker but I’ve helped.”

We’re walking back and she has a jar and passes it to me. I smell it…it’s alcohol spiked with lemon? There are linen cloths inside. I pull one out and start washing the pee and mud and sweat off of me.

“Our physician kept these too.”

Nicole nods as she’s sewing the waist of my pants. “Ours too but they’re good for the field as well.”

I nod…the air and the very strong alcohol evaporating off my skin is making me chill…my…my nipples get hard and achy.

“Ow…this, is this normal?”

“Aye, you’ll get used to it. It’s a bother though.”

I’m looking down…It’s literally the first naked woman that I’ve seen.

“Disturbed Chris?” Nicole’s quiet about it, gentle.

“Yes, but what can I do about it whine and cry?”

“Actually yes, I’d think that you might.”

“It still wouldn’t change things though and it’d actually just make things ten times worse.”

“It would?”

“If I get to thinking that my being spelled into this is a bad thing, is something horrible and world ending hen I’d just get more and more upset and would obsess and wallow in it. I can’t do that…I’m alive because Lady Blackhand saved my life and that would totally dishonor her sacrifice for me and my family.”

“There is that, here try these.” Her tone though is approving….well she is a squire and I am still a Lyonnes.

I look at what she passes me and they’re…underwear? Lacy knit wool at the top no wider than my leg and linen with flowers on them. I look at Nicole and she reddens. “They’re clean.”

“They’re pretty.”

She reddens more. “I am a woman too, I like pretty things.”

“Nothing wrong with that…it’s just the first time I’ve seen woman’s underthings before.”

“Oh…you don’t mind then?”

“No…like you said they’re clean.” I step into them and the woolen band of lace stretches and slides up over my hips keeping them in place. The crotch settles into my new space and they feel very odd. “This will take getting used to.”

“I suspect yes.” She passes me my trousers now with a pair of sewn folds at the waist and it takes me actually pulling them a bit higher than I’m used to. My waist is different now, I used to have a lower one as a boy and fastened my clothes at my hips more than over them. Now it’s at the waist and using the curve of my hips to hold things in place.

“Much better, thank you.”

“Sewing is a task that we do for our knight masters and such and it’s not like you ad a kit.”

“No…we were attacked in the middle of the night I just grabbed what I had worn earlier that day.”

“You were lucky you got that?”

“I know… but still if I could have just thought, but I froze.”

“Chris…you can’t should have things, it’ll just drive you mad.”

I slip my linen shirt back on and my tunic over that and look at her. “I know, but I’ll still likely do it.”

She gives me a knowing look. “I know…we should get moving before Jessa comes back mad at us.”

“I’d rather be spared her striking me again.”

Nicole laughs at that and gets in as I get my boots on and she looks at me. “You should still come with me, you’re exhausted.”

“I…”

“You’re eyes have dark rings Chris, I know you have your pride but there’s no shame in taking help.”

“Alright…so how do we do this?”

“You get in first and settle in behind my harness.”

I nod and step to the foot then the knee and then grip he chest door and step in and carefully slip past the rigging to the space at the back and then Nicole climbs in and fastens in them closes the hatch chest plate door and pulls down the scopes.

The scopes are actually mirrors that take the view from lenses in the head/helm and bounce the lights on to the mirrors by other mirrors so you can see. There are also hidden lenses you can’t see from the outside that give limited side and even rear views all on this folding up and down metal arm that comes down from the head/helm/ceiling.

I’ve never been in one this close before and I try to get comfortable. There’s not a lot of room here at all.

“Are you sure that you can do this?”

“I’ve done it before, it’d be better though if you hugged the back of my harness though.”

“Oh…okay.” I sort of settle into a hug around her and sip my legs to either side of her but not wrapped around her because it’d get in the way of her legs. This is not comfortable…. “Like this?”

“Aye, just like.”

Nicole starts moving and she breathes through each move and step moving her arms and we’re crashing along and she’s getting faster and faster using the squire knight’s own weight in the limbs to create the momentum to get us going faster and faster as she meshes the swing of the arms to help move the legs and we’re going quite fast actually.

It’s actually thrilling, moving than much machine on your own…well it’s thrilling to ride but there’s this smile on her face that I can see as she’s getting it to full stride and we’re at least as fast as a good tot on a horse maybe more.

I’m smiling too, it’s actually quite fun…and it’s getting warm in here and I feel everything piling on me and despite the jostling sleep up and takes me.

………… It’s the sound that invades my dreams, the whir and thud, the meta clanking of the battleknights and I’m home again. I see the walls falling as the ram like siege spears drive through the mortar of the walls and they crumble and fall with the men on and below screaming.

The fall of the axe and my father’s blood exploding out of the rig cage from the force…

“Father No!” I thrash and scream and I’m hitting up against all the metal in Nicole’s rig and her.

“Chris, Chris it’s a nightmare!” She’s trying to get out of her harness and I’m scrambling.

“Let me out…I need to get out…!”

“Chris…”

“Let me out!” There’s a spark a blue white flash and Nicole yelps. “Fuck!”

I get to the hatch literally climbing over her undoing it and falling out I’m scrambling that fast I hit the ground in an undignified thud and more pain as I hit some decent sized stones.

I’m breathing, breathing and yet trying to get my breath but I can’t and my chest is tightening and I can’t breathe and I hurt Nicole, my power jumped out of me and…oh gods, gods, gods…

I scream…long and hard…and there’s no air, why isn’t there any air?

Behind my eyelids the scene’s from home are still playing out!

I hit the ground, choking on pain, rage, guilt until I just fall over from it being so hard to breathe and I’m still scream crying as I curl up on my side.

I close my eyes despite the things playing there and just drive myself deeper and deeper running from it all.

I see the tempest inside of me…

I don’t know what it is but I know what it is…My magic.

Her magic and I’m on a black cloud, literally standing on one and huge black cloud castles surround me all booming the thunder is the sounds of the attack, the grind and slams of the attacking battleknights and my family dying, people dying and the images shown on the clouds with each flash of lightning.

I know I’m screaming seeing this all, I know I’m crying too.

But not enough…you have to let rain clear a storm away…

I stop, I stop screaming and I force myself to look into those storm clouds, those scenes and face them…

I watch the axe come down over and over…until…I let it break me too…I let it overwhelm me until all I can do is bawl.

There’s a point that just seems to sneak up on me…with the storm clouds faded away and I’m still on my own clouds but the sky is clearing but sunset is coming on…it’s beautiful in such a strange way.

Then It fades as I wake up.

Jessa’s here looking at me, poking me actually with a stick.

“Ow.”

“Yeah, too bad you nearly burned Nik.”

(Sniffle-cough.) “I’m sorry.”

“Get a damned hold of yourself.”

I look at her and push myself up to sitting. “I’m better.”

“Bullshit, you’re dangerous.”

“I know.”

“Get control of it.”

“HOW! Godsdammit are you a witch!? Tell me fucking how then!?” I yell at her.

“I DON’T BLOODY KNOW JUST DO IT!” She yells back at me. And I see it, she’s scared…scared of me.

I want to cry again, I’m scaring her but I’m scaring me too.

I shove off the ground and there’s burned grasses and ashes where I was and I stumble away from both of them until I hit the top of a small rise and plonk my butt down on the ground.

I hurt, inside and out and I can hear Jessa and Nicole fighting and yelling at each other.

Part of me just wants to run away.

~Lions don’t run, running doesn’t solve the problems son.~

Dad…his voice clear in my memories.

“Da…oh Da I’m so in over my head.”

He doesn’t answer of course but it just helps to think of him like he’s there, like he’s watching me and waiting for me to figure out some riddle or test patiently.

Lightning, the power electric.

I’ve had shocks before…we has illuminations…the balls of glass and copper wires…that took the electric and made them heat so much they glowed to make light. I like most of us were foolish enough to try and touch forbidden things.

I sit and stare at my palms trying to relive that dummery.

The feeling, the numb yet burning sting, that wildfire jolt through my veins.

Yes, that…I had been burned.

Others who touched the coils though ad been hurt worse.

I never slept for that entire day.

That was just…it was this…that feeling of lightning running though me, charging me up…it felt like this.

This thing that has these bright blue-silver arcs jumping now out of my hands to fall back into my fingertips.

Oh…

Oh fuck…did I already have this?

I’m staring at my hands for I don’t know how long before Nicole sits on one side of me and Jessa on the other and both have the cleaner cloths out and are dabbing at their faces and knuckles blotting away redness and bits of blood….they got into a real fight.

(Snif-cough.) “I must be fated to be this then…I’m not a full day as a woman and I’ve a ranger and a squire fighting over me.”

Jessa snorts. “Not bloody likely firefly, I like women with more meat on them.”

What!? My arcs snuff out and I stare at her. “You…Uh…”

I feel the heat in my face.

I had never thought, not in a hundred years…but given… “Pfft who said I was offering Jessa.”

I light my hands back up.

Her eyes go wide. “You can control it?”

“I’m working on it.”

I feel the flow and stop it like closing the gate for a aqueduct. It snuff’s out. But I can still feel it there underneath me.

“I think I can keep from doing things.”

Nicole nods. “Good, we just have to worry about when you sleep and nightmares then.”

I wince. “Sorry? I didn’t mean to…”

She leans over on my knees and hugs me. “Any fool knows magic and feelings are as close as a snail and it’s shell. I’m fine, you missed me.”

“Good.” I hug her back. I mean it’s what we do right? I mean it’s what I’ve seen.

I look over to Jessa who’s still looking at me. “Are we good?”

“You have to ask?”

I guess not, not with her joking with me.

“It’s scary to me too.”

“I know.”

She doesn’t hug but she offers her hand again.

I take it and shake hands with her.

It feels good but now, now I’m tired even more and feel a little queasy.

She helps me up and Nicole gets up too and we walk back down to the rig. Nicole looks at me offering and I get in nodding and winching at my bruises and her and I settle in…I really couldn’t handle a hike at all right now.

We don’t say much as we get going and I hug her holding on and I just sort of stew in all the what does it means.

What Jessa said before…

There was always rumors of Lady Blackhand and father.

But for that he’d have to been bedding her while married to my mother.

Would he?

Would she?

What if it was part of my blood all this time?

My questions slowly fade to the background as I smell green, and I can see the edge of what was that distant line of forest green and we start heading into the woodland.

We might have gone a half league in on this smallish trail road when we come to this place with a light glow from a fire and there’s a camp set up with a knighter’s wagon and throne and some large draft horses tethered and eating away and two tents set up and there’s a young man there with a cauldron going along with a fire set with a grate and a grill and pots and pans and a kettle.

Jessa’s slipping out of her packs and harnessed up gear.

Nicole sighs. “We’re here.”

“Camp?”

“Aye” She pops the hatch and it takes me a minute to cue in and climb out. “Taylor this is Lady…”

“Christiana.” I supply…yes I’ve been thinking of it.

He does a bow to me. “Milady.”

“Uhm…just Chris if that’s okay sir.”

He grins and he’s kind of scruffy in that my age but not shaved way and thick back messy curly hair. “I can do that but Taylor not sir.”

“Fair enough…” Nicole’s passing me the bags she had inside and I pass them to him?

Taylor takes them with a grin smelling them then peeking inside. “Ah my darlings won’t you cook up fine.”

I smile as he heads to the fire then walk with Nicole who is walking her Squire’sknight up this ramp and onto the wagon. It’s tricky doing but she does well and she reaches out uses the lantern poles to hang onto and guide her knighter to sitting on the throne. I climb up and get the braces and help her secure it all down. This I’ve done before, while you can go long distances in a knighter if you have too this is how we mostly do it. Though it’s a much bigger wagon and usually with six oxen pulling a full sized knighter.

“All cooks talk to their food?”

Nicole grins. “Only the good ones.”

“Taylor is?”

“He’s our hand. He comes along and does whatever as he keeps camp and such.”

“A page.”

“No, just our hand. He’s like having a man-at-arms but he’s not a soldier.”

“Then what is he then?”

He calls from the campfire. “As common as the come Chris. I’m just a poor peasant lad that earns is bread being useful.”

“Oh…no trade?”

“None that stuck to me I’m afraid I’m just too much a drifter for that.”

“Oh…no offense but they trust to that?”

He laughs. “I’m Keep born Chrissy, They’re all family to me.”

Chrissy?

Nicole’s tipping back a skin and was drinking when she looks at me and she laugh-chokes and spits wine through her nose.

“Chrissy?”