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In which a superhero meets his match, masks are uncovered and a mad scientist just tries to get some mad science-ing done without getting distracted by the antics of her magical minion.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
Diane watched the fluid slowly work its way down the IV, counting the seconds it took for the drop to form and fall. It was what passed for entertainment around here.
She hated hospitals. Hated, hated, hated them. Hated the smell, hated the sterile white of the walls, hated the scratchy texture of the blankets. Hated that she was going to die in this miserable place.
Diane closed her eyes, wishing she hadn’t collapsed in full view of an entire party. If she’d had her little episode in private, she could have gone on with her life, or what was left of it. Now they’d only let her discharge if she preferred to spend her last days at home, but of course, she didn’t have one.
She frowned, snuggling deeper into the blanket. When had the room gotten so cold? She exhaled, and her breath fogged the air. What the…?
There was the sound of heavy footfalls, the swish of fabric… and then a woman sat down at Diane’s bedside, crossing her heavily armored legs.
Diane’s lips parted in shocked recognition.
The woman’s eyes were hidden beneath far too large goggles, wild black hair framing a tan face. Her body was covered in formfitting tech armor, emitting a low hum, and her cape was made of semi-transparent glass fiber arranged in a subtly glowing ice crystal pattern.
“Cinder Snow,” Diane greeted her, as if infamously ruthless supervillains strolling into her hospital room were a common occurrence.
The villain’s lips curved into a small smile. “You don’t sound afraid.”
“Well, what are you going to do — kill me?” she asked with just a hint of bitterness. “Nature’s way ahead of you there.”
Cinder Snow laughed, the sound high-pitched and trilling. Diane was instantly convinced she practiced that — no one had an evil laugh like that naturally. “True. I’m not here to kill you. Quite the opposite, in fact.”
She leaned forward, an excited grin on her face.
“Diane Cole. How would you like to advance the cause of science?”
***
The flower was beautiful, its red petals folding and unfurling in a fascinating synchronized dance.
Le fleur de sang; that’s what Snow had called it. The bloodflower, said to cure any disease or injury. What exactly a mad scientist was doing with a magic flower was a bit of a mystery to Diane, but if it was going to help her survive, she wasn’t going to question it.
Not that her survival was a sure thing, Snow had made that quite clear. Apparently her last test subject had ended up a vegetable. In more ways than one.
Ethically questionable human experiments with a woman who, quite frankly, did seem a bit deficient in the marble department? Diane was your girl. Even if everything went horrifically wrong, she’d at least have tried. It beat rotting in a hospital bed.
Diane had been diagnosed early in life and had resigned herself to a young death. And by resigned she meant that she had made life her bitch, squeezing every last drop of pleasure from it. She’d dropped out of school — what point was there to a formal education when she’d never reap its benefits? — and set out go experience absolutely everything life had to offer. And if she’d occasionally stolen and lied and embezzled to finance her lifestyle — who could blame her? The moral high ground was for the not terminally ill.
She reached out, fingertips almost brushing the petals. They looked so soft.
“No touching!” Snow barked, and Diane reluctantly withdrew her hand. “Honestly. Every time…”
The villainess sighed and adjusted her glasses, peering at her holo-clipboard. “We cannot risk contamination before the splicing process has begun. Contact must be kept to a minimum or the mere exposure to the ethereal field around the artifact will begin the healing process, which will lead to complications further down the line. The bonding process must be initiated before significant alterations to your DNA have been made, to allow the garble to flux the chromosomal structure…”
Diane stared blankly. Cinder Snow sighed.
“I will combine your DNA with the flower and I need you to keep a distance before the process starts.”
“Oh. Okay.”
***
It hurt.
It hurt a lot.
Diane screamed when the vines burrowed under her skin.
***
Diary of a Mad Scientist
Day 1
Have located promising new test subject. Genetic defect, incurable, currently on a sharp decline. Hope she does not scream as much as the last one did.
Day 2
Have successfully established contact. Subject signed consent form within 5 minutes. Have never met a subject this eager.
Did not even need to threaten loved ones.
Day 5
Preparations are complete. Subject continues to cooperate most delightfully, though the poor thing is not very bright. Tried to explain what I was doing and why she should not risk cross contamination, but she just stared. Said “I will put the magic thingy inside of you. No touching.” and then she nodded.
Day 6
Success! Subject did scream less than previous ones. My ears are very grateful. Subject looks magnificent, perfectly blending her old appearance with floral features. Still unconscious, though.
Day 9
Subject has awoken!
Mental faculties appear undamaged, yet not improved either. Sad. Poor girl will have to go through life with what little she has. Subject seems pleased enough. Spent the day running through the lab, laughing madly. When asked what she was doing, responded with: “I can run without fainting!” Could not catch her to do further tests.
Day 9 addendum
Subject grew lethargic, complaining of hunger. Ate food eagerly, but threw it all up shortly after. A quick body scan revealed a lack of a digestive system. Gave her water, which she kept down. Subject still hungry, but went to sleep.
Day 10
Subject has not woken up. Am worried.
Day 11
Left underground lair and carried subject into sunlight. She woke up after 6 hours of sunbathing. Appears undamaged by the experience.
Day 16
Have determined that subject needs at least 2 hours sunlight a day, more if she uses her power. Underground lair not conductive to research. Will move. Subject has objected strenuously to my volcano base. Underwater lair likewise not feasible.
Day 18
Have set up temporary lair. Not pleased by quality of base, but it’s Paragon — market value of villain lairs extremely high. Subject has expressed desire for codename of her own. Continues to display remarkable moral flexibility. Have suggested “Dionaea Muscipula”, to match her civilian name. She seems taken with the idea, shortening it to just Dionaea.
Day 20
Asked Dionaea to synthesize a variety of plant-based substances. Nothing seems beyond her ability. Cheap source of all manner of drugs? Will test more.
Day 26
Dionaea left the lair today. Was on verge of setting everything on fire, but she returned with money. Said she wanted to stretch her vines. She smiled sweetly. Could not stay angry.
Day 30
Gave Dionaea a chemical today, said it was the cure for the common cold. She nodded and set about to replicating it.
Produced an altered substance. It really does cure the cold. Am stumped.
Day 38
Dionaea continues to go out from time to time, returning with gifts and money. Lots of money. Reminds me of a cat dragging home dead birds. Believe it is her way of showing affection.
Am growing quite fond of her as well. Asked her to call me Amelia.
Day 40
Have made decision. Once the experiments are concluded, will keep Dionaea. She will make a fine minion.
Day 43
My generous offer to make Dionaea my minion went over… poorly. Am still pulling thorns out of my backside.
Day 44
Dionaea walked up to me today and informed she would be staying, not as a minion, but as a colleague. Told me that even though I am “cray-cray”, she thinks I am “entertaining” and then mumbled something about being the best friend she’s ever had.
Am strangely touched.
Still want that minion though.
Day 57
My blood pressure has normalized, through no intervention of my own. Did an extensive health check — am in perfect condition! Do not even have scars any more.
Have always avoided touching Diane, but just being in her vicinity appears to have a healing effect. Interesting.
Day 61
Have confirmed — any drug produced by Diane retains her healing properties. The guards she knocks out during her bank heists are quite lucky — she probably gives them decades of additional lifespan.
The process is entirely subconscious.
Wonder just how much body modification she is capable of.
Day 132
Diane came home subdued today after she had left for a club. Contemplated asking her what’s wrong, but settled on patting her back. Am certain she got my message.
Day 133
Diane back in good spirits today. Walked up to me and presented me with a small earpiece, asking if I could hack into the frequency it used. An insulting question, really, I was hacking devices in kindergarten.
Day 135
Found off switch on the voodoo doll. Diane must never know.
In which a superhero meets his match, masks are uncovered and a mad scientist just tries to get some mad science-ing done without getting distracted by the antics of her magical minion.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
Diane watched the fluid slowly work its way down the IV, counting the seconds it took for the drop to form and fall. It was what passed for entertainment around here.
She hated hospitals. Hated, hated, hated them. Hated the smell, hated the sterile white of the walls, hated the scratchy texture of the blankets. Hated that she was going to die in this miserable place.
Diane closed her eyes, wishing she hadn’t collapsed in full view of an entire party. If she’d had her little episode in private, she could have gone on with her life, or what was left of it. Now they’d only let her discharge if she preferred to spend her last days at home, but of course, she didn’t have one.
She frowned, snuggling deeper into the blanket. When had the room gotten so cold? She exhaled, and her breath fogged the air. What the…?
There was the sound of heavy footfalls, the swish of fabric… and then a woman sat down at Diane’s bedside, crossing her heavily armored legs.
Diane’s lips parted in shocked recognition.
The woman’s eyes were hidden beneath far too large goggles, wild black hair framing a tan face. Her body was covered in formfitting tech armor, emitting a low hum, and her cape was made of semi-transparent glass fiber arranged in a subtly glowing ice crystal pattern.
“Cinder Snow,” Diane greeted her, as if infamously ruthless supervillains strolling into her hospital room were a common occurrence.
The villain’s lips curved into a small smile. “You don’t sound afraid.”
“Well, what are you going to do — kill me?” she asked with just a hint of bitterness. “Nature’s way ahead of you there.”
Cinder Snow laughed, the sound high-pitched and trilling. Diane was instantly convinced she practiced that — no one had an evil laugh like that naturally. “True. I’m not here to kill you. Quite the opposite, in fact.”
She leaned forward, an excited grin on her face.
“Diane Cole. How would you like to advance the cause of science?”
The flower was beautiful, its red petals folding and unfurling in a fascinating synchronized dance.
Le fleur de sang; that’s what Snow had called it. The bloodflower, said to cure any disease or injury. What exactly a mad scientist was doing with a magic flower was a bit of a mystery to Diane, but if it was going to help her survive, she wasn’t going to question it.
Not that her survival was a sure thing, Snow had made that quite clear. Apparently her last test subject had ended up a vegetable. In more ways than one.
Ethically questionable human experiments with a woman who, quite frankly, did seem a bit deficient in the marble department? Diane was your girl. Even if everything went horrifically wrong, she’d at least have tried. It beat rotting in a hospital bed.
Diane had been diagnosed early in life and had resigned herself to a young death. And by resigned she meant that she had made life her bitch, squeezing every last drop of pleasure from it. She’d dropped out of school — what point was there to a formal education when she’d never reap its benefits? — and set out go experience absolutely everything life had to offer. And if she’d occasionally stolen and lied and embezzled to finance her lifestyle — who could blame her? The moral high ground was for the not terminally ill.
She reached out, fingertips almost brushing the petals. They looked so soft.
“No touching!” Snow barked, and Diane reluctantly withdrew her hand. “Honestly. Every time…”
The villainess sighed and adjusted her glasses, peering at her holo-clipboard. “We cannot risk contamination before the splicing process has begun. Contact must be kept to a minimum or the mere exposure to the ethereal field around the artifact will begin the healing process, which will lead to complications further down the line. The bonding process must be initiated before significant alterations to your DNA have been made, to allow the garble to flux the chromosomal structure…”
Diane stared blankly. Cinder Snow sighed.
“I will combine your DNA with the flower and I need you to keep a distance before the process starts.”
“Oh. Okay.”
It hurt.
It hurt a lot.
Diane screamed when the vines burrowed under her skin.
Diary of a Mad Scientist
Day 1
Have located promising new test subject. Genetic defect, incurable, currently on a sharp decline. Hope she does not scream as much as the last one did.
Day 2
Have successfully established contact. Subject signed consent form within 5 minutes. Have never met a subject this eager.
Did not even need to threaten loved ones.
Day 5
Preparations are complete. Subject continues to cooperate most delightfully, though the poor thing is not very bright. Tried to explain what I was doing and why she should not risk cross contamination, but she just stared. Said “I will put the magic thingy inside of you. No touching.” and then she nodded.
Day 6
Success! Subject did scream less than previous ones. My ears are very grateful. Subject looks magnificent, perfectly blending her old appearance with floral features. Still unconscious, though.
Day 9
Subject has awoken!
Mental faculties appear undamaged, yet not improved either. Sad. Poor girl will have to go through life with what little she has. Subject seems pleased enough. Spent the day running through the lab, laughing madly. When asked what she was doing, responded with: “I can run without fainting!” Could not catch her to do further tests.
Day 9 addendum
Subject grew lethargic, complaining of hunger. Ate food eagerly, but threw it all up shortly after. A quick body scan revealed a lack of a digestive system. Gave her water, which she kept down. Subject still hungry, but went to sleep.
Day 10
Subject has not woken up. Am worried.
Day 11
Left underground lair and carried subject into sunlight. She woke up after 6 hours of sunbathing. Appears undamaged by the experience.
Day 16
Have determined that subject needs at least 2 hours sunlight a day, more if she uses her power. Underground lair not conductive to research. Will move. Subject has objected strenuously to my volcano base. Underwater lair likewise not feasible.
Day 18
Have set up temporary lair. Not pleased by quality of base, but it’s Paragon — market value of villain lairs extremely high. Subject has expressed desire for codename of her own. Continues to display remarkable moral flexibility. Have suggested “Dionaea Muscipula”, to match her civilian name. She seems taken with the idea, shortening it to just Dionaea.
Day 20
Asked Dionaea to synthesize a variety of plant-based substances. Nothing seems beyond her ability. Cheap source of all manner of drugs? Will test more.
Day 26
Dionaea left the lair today. Was on verge of setting everything on fire, but she returned with money. Said she wanted to stretch her vines. She smiled sweetly. Could not stay angry.
Day 30
Gave Dionaea a chemical today, said it was the cure for the common cold. She nodded and set about to replicating it.
Produced an altered substance. It really does cure the cold. Am stumped.
Day 38
Dionaea continues to go out from time to time, returning with gifts and money. Lots of money. Reminds me of a cat dragging home dead birds. Believe it is her way of showing affection.
Am growing quite fond of her as well. Asked her to call me Amelia.
Day 40
Have made decision. Once the experiments are concluded, will keep Dionaea. She will make a fine minion.
Day 43
My generous offer to make Dionaea my minion went over… poorly. Am still pulling thorns out of my backside.
Day 44
Dionaea walked up to me today and informed she would be staying, not as a minion, but as a colleague. Told me that even though I am “cray-cray”, she thinks I am “entertaining” and then mumbled something about being the best friend she’s ever had.
Am strangely touched.
Still want that minion though.
Day 57
My blood pressure has normalized, through no intervention of my own. Did an extensive health check — am in perfect condition! Do not even have scars any more.
Have always avoided touching Diane, but just being in her vicinity appears to have a healing effect. Interesting.
Day 61
Have confirmed — any drug produced by Diane retains her healing properties. The guards she knocks out during her bank heists are quite lucky — she probably gives them decades of additional lifespan.
The process is entirely subconscious.
Wonder just how much body modification she is capable of.
Day 132
Diane came home subdued today after she had left for a club. Contemplated asking her what’s wrong, but settled on patting her back. Am certain she got my message.
Day 133
Diane back in good spirits today. Walked up to me and presented me with a small earpiece, asking if I could hack into the frequency it used. An insulting question, really, I was hacking devices in kindergarten.
Day 135
Found off switch on the voodoo doll. Diane must never know.
Comments
Loved it.
Four thumbs up, some of these had me rolling XD
=D
I'm glad you enjoyed it, I had a lot of fun writing Amelia's segment!
Does this mean...
That the mystic help desk has a reprieve? Curious technicians want to know.
Mayyybe
Amelia may have stealthily taken them off The List after her revelation.
the list
In her shoes i woulds put a star beside it... for making me feel like an idiot
Curiously charming
and yet so funny too. This has such a great mixture of characters and like I've said more than once you have their voices down perfectly. I am wondering why the mad scientist has so many magical talismans. First flowers and now voodoo dolls. I do hope those Canadian outsourced tech support are going to be okay. :)
Hugs
Grover
Why indeed!
A mystery for the ages. Or for later chapters ;)
Amelia has put her plans of murdering them all on hold. *narrows eyes* For now.
good story but I'm confused
good story but I'm confused with the last statement what's with the voodoo doll did I miss a story that explains that or is the explanation yet to come and I'm just impatient. love the twists and turns by the way it keeps you guessing.
Voodoo Doll
The reference is on the first part of chapter 3
As Baroness says
It's a little running gag from chapter 3 :)
I'm glad you enjoy the story, I may or may not have some further twists up my sleeve!
Drop dead funny
Though the beginning was kind-of disturbing.
And now I'm trying to imagine Amelia trying to market the illusive cure for the common cold...It's not going all that well :-D
Considering her
track record I would say not! It also be a problem if that cure wasn't replicable except by Diana. I'm thinking Amelia really doesn't play nice with others, and really needs someone like Diana to smooth down those edges.
At first I was wondering if the experiment had changed Diana's personality, but it doesn't seem like it. She's just a free spirit that had nothing to lose, and lived her life that way. I'm not sure how much of that love affair with money came from before her flower induced recovery.
It does appear that it was there in some form, but it is possible it was intensified by what happened.
I have a feeling that Shade might just find out just what drugs Diana can produce. A Tincture of Tiresias perhaps? However given this is unconscious on her part, she might unknowingly dose Shade. Could be a Kiss isn't just a Kiss? :)
I'll stop now before I sabotage your muse with my wild wonderings!
hugs
Grover
Metamorphosis
Thinking that Shade may be finding some changes soon. The guards Diana has stunned have only been exposed to her once, Shade is getting repeat exposures of a very personal kind.
Must...not...spoil
You guys, I am laughing with mad glee right now.
Please, by all means, wonder away - the story is already written ahead up until chapter 12 and some scattered scenes beyond. My muse has very firm ideas where the plot is meant to go, so don't you worry about her =D Your speculations give me great joy.
I can, however, answer one thing: Diane's personality definitely did not change during the experiments. She has lived her entire life knowing that she might drop dead any day, so she has issues with the whole idea of "long-term consequences". Her love affair with money comes from intimate experiences with poverty; can't live your short life to the fullest if you're poor, can you? She lived as a con artist/grifter before ending up in that hospital.
I shall bite my tongue now.
*cackles evilly*
Think if the guards found out
Think if the guards found out that she extended their lives by decades and improved their health that they would be begging her to rob the places they are guarding. Seems that someone has a problem with knowing what friend really means.
Friends let friends experiment on each other
...at least that's how Amelia tells it.
If the general public knew about Diane's special talent, they might indeed sing a different tune :3
giggles. Love this chapter
so much fun stuff, and interesting possibilities for Diane - could she change a boy into a girl? Like a certain hero ?
What?
Boys changing into girls? Unheard of! Why I never!
*winks*
Entertaining.
And funny as always. Did a spit take several times while reading this chapter. (New rule for self: Never, ever be drinking something while reading this story. Wet keyboards are not happy keyboards.)
Maggie
Oh no!
Expectations have been raised! Now I must deliver spittakes in subsequent chapters. Um um um
SQUIRREL!
*disappears in a puff of smoke*
Well
I got a nice waterproof keyboard from ALDI for $20 yesterday. For this story a waterproof keyboard is necessary.
Quirky great
I like the twists and turns going on with your story. It is very entertaining and a whole lot of fun to read and think about. I am finding my self remembering lines and chuckling to my self, like when I just read it. This isn't getting old it's getting better.
Huggles
Michele
With those with open eyes the world reads like a book
Yay!
Thank you very much for the lovely compliment!
I shall try to keep the momentum going <3
This story is so messed up
This story is so messed up and wrong. I love it.
Heather
We are the change that will save the world.
Found off switch on the voodoo doll. Diane must never know.
sputter, sputter
BWA HA HA ha ha ha!
hahahaha
i loved it to hahahahaha !!!!!!!!!
:)
Day 135
Found off switch on the voodoo doll. Diane must never know.
briljant !!!!!!!!!!!!
half of the koffie went down the wrong pipe the other half came out my nose
The off switch
Queue laughter. Attempts at stifling unsuccessful.
It's good to see some of Diane's backstory, and the journal was a great addition, exactly what I'd think a mad scientist would write.
-Tas
Absolutely Hilarious.
Gave Dionaea a chemical today, said it was the cure for the common cold. She nodded and set about to replicating it.
Produced an altered substance. It really does cure the cold. Am stumped.
^
This is where I lost it.