The life of a physicist can be troubling, at times, as the universe doesn't always play well with others.

But even the universe can't break a true promise.

---

"I think Tedd is sitting here talking to me."

I stared at her with a look of horror on my face, I'm sure. Then I ran out of the kitchen and into my room crying. I curled up on my bed.

Suddenly I saw Carol at the door. "I'm right, aren't I? Somehow, you *are* Tedd."

I sniffled. "Y... yes."

She sat on the bed next to me, a bit shocked. "But, how is that possible? I just spoke to Tedd on the phone last night. Is he a fake?"

It's really hard to talk and cry, but I tried. "No, he's still your Tedd, the one you love."

She looked confused. "But, if you're my Tedd, how can he be my Tedd?"

"We are both Tedd, He's just a past version of me."

More confusion on Carol's face. "Past version? Are you trying to tell me you're from the future or something?"

I sputtered. Crying and laughing at the same time doesn't work, but it did seem to stop the crying.

"Yeah, you could say that."

"But that's impossible!"

I gave her a serious look. "No, not impossible, nothing is impossible, we just haven't figured out how to do it yet."

She gave a soft giggle at that. "Yep, that's exactly the kind of thing Tedd would say."

"I suppose." I said.

"But, apparently, you *have* worked out a way to do it."

I sighed. "Sort of. There was an accident at the base. My machine was running wild and was in danger of destroying everything. I had to go in and try and put a stop to it. I worked on it to no avail before I pulled out something you had handed me. I changed the settings to match that, and there was a brilliant white light... and I woke up in a hospital bed, in this body."

She was silent for a few minutes. "Wait, something I gave you?"

"Yes."

"Where did I get it, I don't imagine I was working on the project with you so how could I have had the solution to your problem?" she said.

"You... you got it from Tara."

Again, she looked confused. "But... you're Tara."

"I'm aware of that. Very aware of that."

"But why didn't you give it to him, why did I give it to him?" she asked.

I started crying again. She never did ask that question again.

She laughed "Well, at least this explains something."

"Oh, what's that?"

She looked me in the eyes. "Tedd has been away for a while now. And, I was feeling really ashamed because... because I felt like I was starting to fall in love with you."

"I've never stopped loving you."

She fought back a tear. "I was feeling terrible, feeling like this about someone else. I was worried about being unfaithful to my husband. But... you are my husband. And now I know something I never really thought about before."

"Oh?"

She gave me a big hug. "Think about it. No matter what you look like, I still love you. There can be no other explanation. We're soulmates."

We fell asleep in each others arms.

***

Brett was a little surprised to find Carol still there in the morning when we all sat down for breakfast.

As he started eating, he spoke up. "Is everything okay? I heard crying last night."

"I'm not sure yet... but... she knows."

Brett's turn to be confused. "Knows what?"

Carol giggled. "I know she's Tedd."

Brett dropped his fork.

More giggling from Carol. "Lots of little things pieced together for me. I confronted her last night and she ran crying. Kind of obvious at that point. Though, Brett, I really have to thank you. I always knew you were Tedd's best friend but I never thought you'd end up in a position like this, taking care of him."

"Well, it does help that he's a bit easier on the eyes now. And she does pull her own weight on income."

Carol raised an eyebrow at that. I had to step in. "Well... some of the games, I remember them and all..."

"Ahh, the Back to the Future method. Not bad."

We discussed a lot of small things and she went home.

***

We continued our outings, but they took on a new light since everything was out in the open. Occasional flirting, her asking about how Tedd felt about things from the female perspective, that kind of thing.

And then it happened again.

I woke in a strange, but familiar bed. Only this time I didn't have a massive hangover. I instantly remembered everything that had happened. I fought the urge to go crawl into the shower and cry again.

And then my partner in bed woke up and found me sitting knees to chest in against the headboard. "What's the matter?"

"I... it's.... I just found out my wife cheated on me while I was at CERN. And she cheated on me with me."

Carol laughed. "I remember experimenting a bit in college, and it was enjoyable, but last night was something else. A connection of souls."

"It was amazing. I didn't know this body could feel that good. Far better than the last time I woke up in a strange bed." As soon as I said it I realized I shouldn't. Now I was afraid.

Carol had to ask. "Last time?"

"Promise you won't hate me?"

Carol nodded.

"A while back Brett and I were having a night of drink and music. The next morning I woke up naked in his bed." And now I was crying.

"Why are you crying, dear?"

"Because I cheated on you, Carol. I had sex with someone else."

She looked at me for a second. I must have looked a mess. "Did you enjoy it?"

I nodded while crying.

She squeezed me tight. "I'm a bit surprised, but I'm not mad. I can't say I've never given Brett a thought or 2 when I've been feeling lonely."

"But..."

She tried squeezing me even harder. "Look, I absolutely love what we did last night, and I'd like to do it some more, but I also understand that you are a girl now, and I can't fault you if your body wants a little more."

"What are you saying?"

"What I'm saying, Tara, is that I'd love to keep doing this with you when the mood takes us, at least until Tedd gets home. But I'm also not going to be upset if you and Brett end up in bed again. I love your hot little body but I still prefer Tedd's body. So stop crying, we'll get through this one way or another. I still love you, and that'll never change." she said. And to emphasize her point, she put her hand softly against my crotch, and I couldn't help but moan.

***

After I got back to Brett's house I told him everything about what happened. He actually made rather obvious sigh of relief.

"Listen, Tara, I was so afraid after that happened that I had ruined everything for you. To hear that you and Carol still get along as well as ever makes me happy in ways you can't even begin to imagine."

"I also... kinda told her about us."

"Us?"

"That night, we were drunk."

"Oh... is she going to kill me?" he said, a little worried.

"Oh no. She loves me, no matter what I look like, but she also realizes that while my heart, head and soul are hers, my body might have other needs. To be honest she was more happy that us getting together confirmed for her that we, and by that I mean both her and I, and her and Tedd, since we're the same person, that we're her soulmate. No matter what happens she'll still love us. She was brutally honest though. She said she wanted me until Tedd got back from CERN, but after that, she much prefers Tedd's body to mine. And that she understands that after then I might still have needs too. And that if it had to be someone... she'd rather it was you."

He blinked at me. "What are you trying to say?"

"I... I have to admit, there have been times I've found myself watching you, getting little feelings I didn't quite know how to explain. Uhh, what I'm trying to say is... she'll always have my heart but sometimes... after Tedd is back... my body may have needs... and as hard as it is for me to admit it... you did do a pretty good job satisfying them that night."

He actually blushed.

***

So things continued as they were. Brett and I would be best friends, Carol and I would fight off the loneliness when we weren't out shopping or something like that, until Tedd returned from CERN.

At this point I'd been Tara for almost 2 years. I had a pretty good fix on the 'being female' and 'just being Tara' bits now. Tedd made the group a fun foursome again.

But then I had another one of those perspective fixing moments. Tara had a rather large impact on my life. But now I was Tara, and Tedd hadn't yet had that impact on his life. But if this strange journey I've been on has taught me anything at all yet, it's that you can't live your life regretting the things you haven't done. You have to look towards the things still to come.

But this revelation was not without it's perils. I started considering the fact that I seemed to be experiencing my life from the other end of the mobius strip, as much sense as that makes. The twist in the fabric of reality that made my life seem like it was in a giant loop. Is there such a thing, in truth, like destiny? Am I on an unalterable path towards my own death? I the universe playing some sick joke on me?

Now I truly understand how Alice felt, having looked into the looking glass, seeing a whole world on the other side. And it seems reality has a sense of humor just as twisted as the world Alice found herself in.

I made up my mind. If I'm going to play this role I'm going to do my damnedest to make it count. I called up Tedd.

"Hi Tedd, it's Tara."

"Oh, hi Tara, how are you tonight?"

"Ummm, just fine, I was a bit deep into some philosophy type thoughts..."

He laughed. "Yeah, that never ends well."

"Yep. So instead I decided to do something else. You're off next weekend, right?"

"Uh huh. They're doing some work and Brett and I have few extra days off."

"Good. We're going skiing."

Tedd gasped. "What? I've never been skiing."

"And that's exactly why we're going to do it. New experiences. New perspectives. See what the world has to offer."

"I dunno, I'll have to think about it, and talk to Carol. I'll have her call you later."

I smiled. Though he didn't see it. "Okay, just think it over, it'll be fun!"

***

A bit later Carol called.

"Skiing? That's not something we've ever done. We don't have the slightest idea how to do it."

"Carol, can you really think of a better reason than the one you just gave, to learn?"

"No... not really. It just seems a bit impulsive." she said.

"Well, it is, sorta. You guys need a bit of impulsiveness, it keeps things interesting."

"Oh, alright. We'll go. I'm just worried it'll be a bit dangerous."

I laughed. "Uhh..."

She sensed the hesitation. "What... is someone going to get hurt?"

"Uhh... it's kind of embarrassing. Last day of the trip, shortly before we were set to return home. I had a bit of an accident. I spent the entire drive home convinced I'd broken my arm and you should be taking me to a hospital and not back home, but you refused until we got back into Star City."

"That sounds terrible? Why would I do something like that? Normally I'd take Tedd straight to the nearest ER."

"I'm guessing... umm, because you knew I hadn't broken my arm and that was was just a bad bone bruise, with the accompanying nasty looking bruise on the skin. Colors for weeks!"

"How the hell would I know that?"

I laughed. "Yanno, I think you knew it because I just told you."

She sighed. "I think I'm starting to understand why that Doctor guy from that show has so many issues with time travel."

"Trust me, it's not any more amusing from this end. Turns out time really is too wibbly-wobbly for my head, generally."

***

We arrived at the mountain early in the morning. After getting our accommodations settled at the hotel we all headed up towards the training grounds. I'd done ski training last time so I thought I'd work on snowboarding this time. Carol, Tedd and Brett all opted for ski training and we began our sessions. If you've never been out on the slopes before, you'll probably be surprised at just how hot an activity like skiing can be, even with the cold. There's a lot of muscle work going on and you've got some pretty heavy duty gear on, safety and warmth wise, so you really don't feel much of the cold except in the face.

By the third day we'd all learned we were well trained and actually spent a good deal of time just enjoying the slopes. Brett ended up with a bit of a bruise when he got a little too close to a tree branch, but other than that, no injuries so far. On the fourth day there was a nasty bit of blizzard. Not much snow but the high winds were doing wonders for the visibility and safety, so we enjoyed a nice day in the hotel.

On the fifth day, Tedd wanted to get a couple hours of skiing in before we left for home. That's when he had his unfortunate collision with a nasty patch of ice. I winced slightly remembering how much that hard hurt, but I still worked hard to suppress a small giggle as we all finished getting everything set to leave. As Carol was helping Tedd into their car she gave me a knowing look and smile.

Just after Tedd and Carol left, Brett and I set out. Brett was getting a bit worried about Tedd.

"Settle down! He'll be fine."

"How can you know that? His arm looked pretty swollen!"

"All he did is get a nasty bone bruise. A bit of swelling for a couple of days, and weeks of pretty colors on the skin, he'll be fine."

"Are you a doctor now?" he asked.

"Umm... Brett... we're talking about *me*, remember? I remember it happening. I was so upset at Carol because she had refused to take me to any of the nearest Emergency Rooms. Of course, now I know why she didn't. I told Carol before we left that he'd be hurt."

"Oh... right. Sometimes I forget that you're all looped and stuff. Do you know *everything* that's going to happen?"

"Of course not, Brett. I remember many of the important events, but only from the perspective of Tedd. For instance, I never knew that you were harboring a secret time traveler in your house all those years. Of our little group, only Tedd never knows the truth."

Brett sighed. "But I do know that there are things you've kept back. There are some holes and some occasional skirting references to things that I don't know about. Like where you are when the accident at the lab occurs."

"Look, Brett, there are some things I'm hoping I can change. I may have changed some things already, I don't know. And there are some things I can't do anything about until certain other things happen. But there are also many things I want to keep the same. The ski trip was an example. It was good fun and everyone needed it."

"But, that doesn't make any sense." he said.

"Brett, think of all the popular theories of time travel. At the moment I'm still uncertain as to the nature of my travel. Is it a loop? Is it a quantum branch, so I'm technically in a whole new universe? Is it something we haven't even begun to suspect? For all we know, it's just the universe having a sick sense of humor."

Brett frowned. "Hmmph."

"Look, if you want something to nibble on in regards to my being here, just keep an eye out for sudden large power drains on the grid."

Now he looked a bit concerned. "That sounds ominous."

"Trust me, if you start seeing those, I'll tell you everything you need to know about what I think it is. And I'm fairly sure that the DOD would be interested at that point."

Again, more worry. "It's not NBC, is it?"

I shrugged. "Depends, generally the 'Nuclear/Biological/Chemical' listing doesn't care much about science that's impossible at the moment."

Brett sat silent for the rest of the trip home.

***

The next morning at breakfast Brett sat in front of his plate without eating. "Tara, I spent all night thinking. I must insist you tell me about this possibly dangerous scenario. I can't promise I won't go directly to the DOD with it but I will try to keep it quiet."

I sighed.

"If I tell you, I need you to not interrupt me to tell me it isn't possible. If I tell you this stuff, you need to believe it's true. Because it is. Can you do that? Also, you need to know that I will not give any specific dates on the information I do have, because certain events may need to happen that you might try to prevent."

Brett nodded.