The life of a physicist can be troubling, at times, as the universe doesn't always play well with others.

But even the universe can't break a true promise.

---

It had been a few weeks since my little trip to the base. I now had a full set of field-agent gear sitting in the trunk of my car, ready in case a call came for the team.

Yes, team. I'm lead on a full strike team, consisting of 8 'men'. 6 soldiers, a DoD liaison, and myself.

We have a couple of auxiliary units full of scientists and engineers on standby as well. I have to admit to myself that it's kind of neat being part of a military operation such as this.

***

Now we were riding towards the edge of town.

So far the team and I have come across a couple of false positives. We were just coming up to a third site. We disembarked from our HMMWVs and the soldiers began sweeping the outside of the building, a large, long-abandoned looking warehouse.

"Unit 1 clear."

"Unit 2 clear."

"Units 1 and 2 converging on entrance. All clear visually, breaching entrance."

"Entry clear. Unit 1 maintaining entrance cover, unit 2 sweeping interior. Appears mostly empty. Some unidentified items at far side of structure."

"Unit 2 clear. Building appears to be abandoned. Signs of recent use. however."

"Cleared for entry."

Jeremy Wilkins and I entered the warehouse.

The soldiers escort us towards the far end of the warehouse. One of the units stop about half way and take up a defensive position. I'm constantly impressed by how these soldiers act. The other unit follows us right towards the remains of what at first glance looks like group of piles of wires and metal.

Jeremy bends down to inspect one of the piles. "This looks a lot like the leftovers from the Alpha site."

I nod. "Yes, but like the alpha site it appears there's nothing here we can trace. These wires all look rather generic and the metal pieces could be welded by anyone."

Jeremy makes a call to his contact. "Yes, this is Wilkins. Bring in the sweep teams, we think we've got Beta site. Start the trace teams as well, see if we can get a handle on how they entered and exited from here. Maybe we'll get lucky with a satellite."

I walk over and put my hand on Jeremy's shoulder. "At least we've found another one."

Jeremy nods at me. "Yes, and maybe we're getting closer to finding them but we have no real way yet of telling if that's the case. For all we know this site may predate Alpha."

I smile, hoping he picks up on my positive thoughts. "We need to stay focused. The more sites we find, the more evidence we find. They're going to make a mistake somewhere."

After a short time the sweep teams arrive and begin documenting everything. While I'm fairly sure, like Alpha, the remains we found won't be able to allow us to trace buyers or anything fancy like that, I still feel like we're making a step in the right direction.

***

I get out of my car and head into the house. Brett's at the table, eating some leftover pizza, by the looks of it.

Brett looks up at me. "So, anything useful today?"

I nod while putting my jacket over the back of a chair while pulling it out to sit. "We've found Beta site. Jeremy is still a bit skeptical but I think we're finally going in the right direction."

Brett smiles. "So, one step closer to finding the device and saving the world, right?"

"Yep."

Brett puts his pizza down. "Well, that's good news, right?"

"Uh huh. Great news."

Brett cocks his head to the side slightly, like he's studying me. "If that's so... why are you upset?"

I try to hold back my shock. How did he see that? I thought I was holding that back pretty well.

"Look, Tara, you've been living with me long time now. I've gotten pretty good at reading your face and body. You're upset, and I don't think it's over something I said."

I shake my head. "No, it's not. And sometimes you really are too damned insightful."

"So, are you going to tell me?"

I sit down across from him. I try several times to start talking, but I can't quite get a sentence started.

Brett reaches across the table and takes my hand. Such a small gesture but it does help to calm me down a bit. I can feel tears beginning at the corner of my eyes.

"Brett... everything is going to change soon."

Brett brushed his hand along mine. It was a very soothing gesture.

"Tara..."

I could feel myself beginning to tremble.

"Tara."

I barely noticed Brett get out of his chair and round the table. He bent down and encompassed me in a large hug.

"Tara, whatever comes, we'll be alright."

I start crying.

"Tara, are you going to be able to tell me what's wrong?"

I shake my head.

Brett shifts a little bit and helps me stand up. He carefully leads me to my room and lowers me onto my bed.

"I know I'm not going to be able to do anything to help you right now, so why don't you get some rest. We'll talk about whatever you feel like talking about in the morning, okay?"

I nod my head weakly.

Brett turns the lights down and leaves.

I still sit there. How do I tell him that I might be dying soon? How to I tell myself that?

More importantly... am I willing to do it? Will it make a difference? Have I made a difference?

At some point during this I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I realize is that I'm waking up. I pull the covers back and stretch. I realize that Brett must have come in during the night and covered me up after he realized I had fallen asleep.

I get out of bed and head for the shower. Long and hot, the shower helps refresh me a good deal. I dry off and head downstairs.

Brett's eating breakfast and looks up at me.

"Good morning, Tara."

"Morning, Brett."

He gets a serious look on his face. "Look, I didn't want to do this but I'm concerned about you. I've called the base and they have the psych heading here to have a chat with you. I realize you may be angry with me, but I'd rather you do this so I know you're okay. You don't have to tell me anything before they get here, either."

I think this over. On the one hand, I'm a bit upset that he thinks that I may need help, but on the other I remember from my time as Tedd that there is no shame in getting help. Not every problem can be solved by yourself and sometimes you need someone outside your circle to discuss it with.

"It's okay, Brett, I'll talk with them. And I'm not upset, you did it because you care about me, which is very touching. Some days I worry that I'm nothing but a burden on you."

Brett laughed. "Tara, you've been anything but a burden. You're my best friend, and sometimes more. How could anyone consider you to be a burden?"

I sighed. "I dunno, I just feel that way sometimes."

Brett gets up and walks over to me, pulling me into a soft hug. "Listen, Tara, don't you ever think that you're anything but you. You're exactly who you're meant to be."

Brett then gives me a kiss on the forehead and begins cleaning up after his breakfast.

***

A couple hours later and I'm still thinking over Brett's last statement. "You're exactly who you're meant to be."

It sounds profound to me, like it should mean something more, but before I can spend too long philosophizing over it there's a knock at the door.

I get up and answer it. I notice it's the base's psych specialist.

"Hello."

She smiles. "Hello there, Ms. Smith. I got a call that you might had a bit of trouble last night and you seemed to be a bit out of sorts."

I nod and reply a bit sheepishly. "Yeah..."

She interrupts me. "Look, I know there's a lot my security clearance won't let me know, but I am here for anything you do feel you can tell me."

I relax a bit. "So, what have they told you about me."

She giggled slightly. "Uhh, well the most classified thing they were willing to reveal is that you are a time traveler."

I smirk at that. "And how did you react to that revelation?"

"I informed the officer who told me that it'd probably be a good idea if he were to schedule an appointment with me. That was before I realized that the entire panel was staring at my very seriously. After a bit of that I actually got a bit worried. They did manage to convince me, though. Or at least convince me that they were convinced. Either way, I'm not going to judge your mental state based on claims of time travel."

I nod. "Well, I can understand being skeptical, and thank you for being honest. However, they were telling the truth. I did travel back in time several years, and changed bodies as well."

"That must have come as quite a shock to you."

I nod.

"But it seems as though you've gotten past that shock. From what I was briefed, last night was something else."

A bit of a grim expression appears on my face. "Yeah, this is rather the heart of the matter."

"Please, if you're willing, tell me the problem. The only way we can try to help you is by understanding."

I adjust myself in the seat. "People... people are going to die soon."

She gasps. "I assume this is knowledge of the future?"

I try to hold back the tears forming in my eyes. "Yes, sort of. I don't have all the details, or actually many of them, but I know that within the next few months several people are going to die."

She nods slowly. "Are you the one that kills them?"

I shake my head. "No... but I have to let it happen."

She tilts her head. "What do you mean?"

I wipe a tear that had been on my cheek. "Near as I can figure, this is a time loop. If I try to change anything, I could make things worse. I could make them better too, but it's risky. And I have no idea if things I've already done have changed things for better or worse."

She sits thinking about that for a bit. "I see. That must feel like a great weight upon you. But I wonder how you think that saving lives could ever be a bad thing?"

I dab a tissue against my eyes. "What if their deaths save lives of others? Someone not dying when they are supposed to could cause events to play out differently and people who shouldn't die will."

She nods. "I suppose I can understand that. But it still sounds as though you've accepted most of that."

"I suppose... but... I... I feel guilty anyway. I feel so terrible that these people are going to die and even though I know I can't do anything to stop it I want to try."

She reaches out and puts her hand on my knee. "Tara... what you're feeling is absolutely normal, given the circumstances."

I'm taken aback by her response. "Wha... what do you mean?"

She looks me in the eyes. "It sounds like you're feeling exactly the same thing battlefield commanders feel all the time."

Now I'm very confused. "I'm not a battlefield commander, and I can't see how that would apply to me."

"On the battlefield, commanders often have to assign units to tasks that will almost undoubtedly result on the deaths of at least a few of their number."

I think on that for a second. "I can sort of see the similarity, but I still don't quite understand."

She pats my knee and smiles. "Tara, the best commanders feel guilt, knowing they are about to send men to their death. They often need a fair bit of help dealing with their decisions as well. However, I have a name for them."

"Oh, what is that?" I ask.

"Good people."

I smile a bit. "But... I don't feel like a good person."

"And that's why you are. You'll never allow any of those deaths to be wasted. If it's someone's time to die, you'll make the correct decision, and people will be saved. Good people will always make the decisions their heart feels are necessary."

We spend another hour discussing less... heavy topics and I thank her for her visit.

***

Two weeks later and I'm not exactly feeling better, but resolved. I've lived my life, and had experiences which few people will ever have. I've seen the beauty of the world. If things are going to go badly... I'm ready.

The team and I are heading to a suspected third site that's just recently had a power drain incident. It was a fairly significant drain and actually blacked out part of the nearby sections of the city.

We arrive, and Jeremy and I remain inside the vehicle. Since the drain was so recent they've sent several additional units. A small wave a guilt passes over me.

After several minutes the additional teams begin arriving and set up a small temporary structure near where we've got our vehicles parked so they can coordinate.

Over the radio we here the chatter. "Units 1 and 2, set up a perimeter, units 3, 4 and 5, secure entrance, units 6 and 7 wait in reserve."

"All units acknowledge."

"Unit 1 reporting west side of building clear."

"Unit 2 reporting east and north sides of building appear clear."

"Units 3, 4 and 5 approaching south entrance. Visual inspection appears clear."

"Unit 3, you are cleared to breach."

"Unit 3, breaching in 5.."

"Unit 3, has breached the entry, proceeding into building."

"Unit 3, small device on fl..."

A loud explosion rips through the air. The force of the impact rattles our HMMWV and I can barely hear anything. I look over at Jeremy, and he seems to be in a bit of a daze, like he hit his head.

I get the driver's attention and I see blood dripping from his face, looking like his nose has been bloodied. Otherwise he looks okay. I turn my attention back towards Jeremy.

"Jeremy... Jeremy!"

I don't know if I'm even loud enough for him to hear, I can barely hear my own voice in my head. I put my hand on his shoulder and shake it gently to get his attention. After a moment he turns towards me and says something. I see his lips moving but all I hear is this horrible ringing in my ears and I don't hear any of his words.

I pull out a notebook and pen and begin writing.

Are you okay?

He takes the notebook and pen.

Yes, ears ringing, hit my head on window, but seem to be OK. You?"

I take it back.

Ringing, otherwise fine.

He nods at me and we both look out the window towards the building.

The building is in ruins, and I see soldiers running back and forth looking for wounded.