I don't do much whinny posting now days ... in 2005-8, you would have gotten really sick of me. I found some of my Face Book posts from then ... talk of suicide almost every day ... saying how depressed I was every single day ... I think I won the award for worlds most pitiful whiner. I really do not understand how people tolerated me. Seeing that stuff now just makes shafts of shame and embarrassment right through me.

I got really tiresome to people; they quit calling. Some brave souls would tell me when we talked and I skillfully made the subject about me, "Gwendolyn, it is not about you". And, some of them stayed and kept talking to me, but it could not be about me. It was like a bucket of ice water over the head. And, and, it changed me; made me talk about others and what their interests were. One of my friends, skillfully manipulated me into actually healing myself.

Some of you do not wish to know what else happened to me after I had healed some; become more able to hold a socially acceptable conversation. Those who really know me, know what else happened to me that took me to the next levels. If anyone is curious, I would tell you in a PM.

These days I am mostly annoyingly happy

Gwendolyn