Chapter one:

Life has a flavour to it, at least I like to think so. Psychologists call it "Neuro-associative-conditioning" which tells you absolutely nothing about anything. The gist of it is that as human beings, we experience reality subjectively. And when we experience that reality, we instinctively attach emotions to the experience.

Lemme give you an example: If I jumped on a skateboard and rolled around aimlessly, I might totally love skateboards from that point onward. If I jumped on the same skateboard and split my skull open, I'd probably develop some kind of phobia toward unsecured vehicular urban transport. It's the same principal.

A long time ago...I think I was happy. Not in the sense of a tampon commercial where girls run giddy through a field of flowers. I just mean...y'know, happy. Like in a "God's in his heaven, all's right with the world" kind of way. Life just made sense to me. I could wake up in the morning and feel like I belonged to something bigger than myself. That I wasn't out of place. Whole and complete.

I couldn't tell you when that started to change. Sometimes things in life happen so slowly you don't even notice. Some people call it "death by a thousand cuts". At first, I kinda liked being different to everyone else. It made me feel like an individual, like I was special. I put up a front to hide who I really was to the rest of the world, showing people what I thought they wanted to see of me. But as time passed, I found myself putting up that front more and more. It engulfed me, the front casting a shadow over everything else. The yearnings within me grew more incessant, crying out to be fed with something I could never give them. The emptiness grew day by day. Ever longer, ever deeper.

Bottomless.

Then before you even realize it, you're alone. Angry at the world, weary of being pelted by the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Bitter and jaded, the darkness is all you have left. It's what defines you now, a pillar of your identity. To challenge it seems unthinkable, because that would tug at the seams of who you are as a person. So every day you wear your mask, and every day the shadows behind it grow just a little darker. It's an endless cycle from which you can't escape: An ouroborous of self-loathing and disgust. It's no surprise so many transgendered individuals end their lives the way I did.

But I found a way out, didn't I? What seemed impossible became a reality, and I'd been given the one thing the yawing hunger within me craved most: Femineity, pure and radiant. Perfect in every way. Down to every cell and atom, written into every silken strand of DNA.

Strands of blond hair wrapped about my neck, carried by a wind that howled faintly between the buildings below. Everything around me was bathed in a luminescent hue of blue and white, radiated from an enormous neon sign that was erected behind me reading "Crazy Apple."

Delacroix wasn't a big town by anyone's estimate. But it's large enough that it has it's fair share of towers and offices. The Crazy Apple billboard rested atop a five story business complex, roof access provided if you could play Tetris with a few trash cans to access a fire escape. I used to come here to think if I had a big exam coming up, or if Faye had Zoe and Rachael around for movie night. If you sit in just the right spot, you can see from the city centre all the way to the ocean. On a night like this, waves sparkle in the moonlight like a sea of jewels.

So why wasn't I happy?

I should be thrilled. Jubilant and irrepressible, heart soaring with boundless wonder and energy. But there was something missing, I couldn't put my finger on it...like the flavour was all wrong. How could that be? I'd done everything right, and had everything I'd ever wanted. But it still wasn't enough? That's not fair! What the hell else could I do to get back to where I was happ-

The phone in my pocket squeaked with a dubstep ringtone, snapping me out of my reverie. Scrunching up my nose in frustration, I plucked it free and tapped the screen. Faye's number? Great. Girl never could take a hint when I needed a little time to myself. Or she didn't care.

"What is it?" I asked, making no attempt to hide the undercurrent of irritation in my voice.

"Hey cranky-pants." Her voice sounded muffled, like she was speaking too close to the mouthpiece. "We're going to a party tonight up in the hills. Super exclusive invitation stuff, completely illegal. You're gonna love it."

It felt as though someone was twisting a knife in my stomach. I came up here to be alone with my thoughts. Alone: The opposite of being with people. "Not a chance, Faye. I thought you'd get the hint that this was private time for me."

There was noise in the background, difficult to discern. Like a low hum, rising and falling. And was someone else talking? "Obviously. But you've been getting progressively mopier since we went shopping. I told you life in panties is not a death sentence."

"So? I would have thought it was pretty obvious that I've got a lot of problems to work through. Least of which being I'm in the wrong fucking gender!"

Despite my growing frustration, she seemed unperturbed. "C'mon, you need to stop focusing on everything that's bad and take a little time to enjoy yourself. Blow off some steam. This could be a good thing for you, just give it a chance."

"Good luck finding me." I snorted. "Wait a sec...you're in your car, aren't you?"

"Yeeeeep. Handsfree is busted, so I'm multitasking here."

I narrowed my eyes. "You stuck the phone in your cleavage and set it to speaker, didn't you?"

"I can turn on video chat if that will change your mind."

Interface: Palm to face. "No, all I want right now is some space, alright? I promise I'll be fine, I just need time."

"What if I pick you up right now?"

"You don't even know where I am. You can drive around town all night if you want, but you're not gonna find me."

"Lemme take a stab in the dark." She paused, and I heard the voice again. Was it giving directions? "Two fifty, fifty second street?"

"What?" I balked, shocked that she knew. "How the fuck-"

"Your phone has a GPS locator in it. All I had to do was link it to mine."

No. Fucking. Way. "You broke into my account?"

"Hey, I've seen the movie Hackers. I know how this stuff works." She chided.

A pair of headlights lit the way as a white Lancer Evo, pinnacle of the Japanese rice rockets, pulled into the alleyway below. Sometimes her audacity shocked even me.

"Where are yo- oh, never mind. That's a long way up."

"Yeah." I muttered darkly. "I like it for the solitude."

"So you gonna come down, or are you going to make me come up and get you?"

I hung up, not bothering to respond. Regardless of wether I told her to get lost or not, my little piece of private time had been well and truly destroyed. I stepped off the walkway and grabbed hold of the stepladder leading off the roof. I swung my legs about and slid down the handrails, quickly moving from one level to the next. I'd never been slow as a guy, but becoming a teenage girl who was 5'5" and weighed next to nothing? Flexibility and speed took on a whole new meaning. It was the kind of thrill parkour runners must get: effortlessly flowing from one obstacle to the next, moving like water, never losing momentum as I flew between the levels, landing neatly on the very same dumpster I'd used to ascend the fire escape.

"Holy shit dude!" Faye looked at me with genuine surprise as I climbed into the passenger seat. "Fuck cheerleaders, you should try out for the track team."

"I never said I wanted to be a cheerleader." No, that would be fantastic and amazing.

"Right, sorry. My bad." I settled into the bucket seat, pulling the seatbelt into it's clasp. She was wearing a tight printed tee with a scooping neckline deep enough to reveal a valley of cleavage to anyone with functional eyeballs and a heartbeat. The ensemble was completed with a back micro-mini with a zipper running up it's side, the black Chuck's that seemed to be glued to her feet every day, and a large printed baseball cap.

"Look, I know you're pissed that I came out here. But this is for your own good." She put the car into gear, slowly moving back to the main street. "You need something to take your mind off what has happened. Focus on something else for a change, y'know?"

"You hacked my phone." I hissed between clenched teeth.

"Puh-lease. Your password was Mitnick? Ex-geek here, remember?"

"Achievement unlocked: I'm still mad at you."

"And I'm sure you will be until I get you drunk enough to forget how you even got to the party." She looked over her shoulder, merging lanes with the traffic. "That might be quicker than you expect, by the way."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?"

"Moping around, dreaming that you're a guy sure won't." She smiled. "Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."

I let out a frustrated sigh. This was happening all wrong, dammit: I didn't get to be the kind of girl that I always dreamt about. To make things worse, going out shopping turned out to be the most mundane experience I could have possibility imagined. Faye was so concerned about protecting my "fragile mental state" that it was over and done with before I even knew it, the whole ordeal reduced to quickly scouring the women's section of a few boutiques and a freaking K-Mart. On top of all that, I have to deal with...whatever deal I've struck with a psychotic entity that wants to eat my soul? Fuck! It's not supposed to be like this! I mean it...it's just not! IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS! ITS NOT SUPPOSEDTOBELIKETHISITSNO-

"You've gone quiet. Something the matter?" Faye glanced at me with a look of concern.

"It's nothing." I muttered tersely. "Just drive."

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The party as it turned out, was nothing like what I had expected. I was always invited to parties that pretty much fell into the same category: Someone decides to throw a party...and that's it. People show up with the cheapest booze they can afford, get completely wasted, light a few joints and wake up shivering in a pool of their own vomit. And if you got lucky, you might wake up sharing that vomit with someone else.

Point is, it wasn't complicated. Or illegal. This party was neither of those things.

Here's how it works: Someone scouts a suitable location, which can be anything: Rural property. Townhouse. Penthouse. You name it. The only thing they have in common is the owner is out of town.

Next step is the social media call goes out: Cash up front, deposited into PayPal account. That buys you a call back with the details. You need those details because two hours later the page has gone down before cops catch the scent. Last step is another call going out three hours before the event. Even if the police do catch wind of it, the same call can be used to shut things down before anyone can show up.

It's elegant, simplistic, and impossible for anyone to stop.

At least, I'm sure that's what will be told to the owners of the opulent five-bedroom, two story dwelling located in Delacroix's newest housing estate for successful families and young professionals. What was meant to be a comfortable escape from the drudgery of life for the biggest fish our town could offer, failed on a single fundamental level: Before completing any houses and allowing the families to move in, one should hire security and order gates for the estate.

From the back seat of the car, I could only poke my head out occasionally to see the skeletal framework of a house rising from the ground like the corpse of some prehistoric beast. I was contorting myself in the narrow confines, struggling to remove my current ensemble. Evidently she'd anticipated my impending fashion faux par and decided that jeans and a hoodie didn't make for appropriate party-girl material, and packed me a new getup to compensate.

Stripped down to the my plain black panties and bra, I picked through the backpack she'd prepared and felt my earlier darkness and despair begin to slip away. Inside were clothes...but nice clothes! She'd given me a few different options, along with a makeup bag and a few other feminine essentials. My heart fluttered, hands trembling as I reached inside. "You bought these for me?"

She grinned. "Those are Rach's. I swung by her place before coming to rescue you from your little pity-party. You two are a similar size."

"How come she's not joining us?" I said as I greedily plucked a tube dress out of the bag. "You two are usually inseparable."

"I dunno, she's been more focused on her grades since this is senior year. Probably saw how her mom was a trophy wife who sold pottery at Sunday markets and realized it was her future."

"Her loss." I looked at the dress for a moment, wondering just how the hell I'd put it on. Was I supposed to step into it or pull it over my head? Deciding that trying to get the top over my hips might prove a logistical issue, I opted for the former and wriggled it over my head. I wasn't really sure if I'd made the right choice, but I managed to get it into place with a minimum of tugging and squirming. By the time I was done, the hemline sat a little high up my thighs...or maybe it was just tighter then I expected. Either way, the garment felt...heavenly. It was all I could do not to let out a squeal of happiness.

Faye craned her neck back for a moment, daring to get a look at my handiwork as she drove. "Not bad. You're gonna have to lose the bra though."

"Really?" I furrowed my brow. "Wouldn't that make me look kinda slutty?"

"You don't wear a tube dress not to get attention. Besides, your boobs are small enough that it shouldn't make a difference."

"Unlike others present?"

"Shut up." She flashed me a smile. "Come on, you're gonna look hot. And nothing raises your spirits like watching drunk dudes fall over each other to impress you."

I arched my back, trying to find a way to remove the bra without exposing my breasts at the same time. Faye was watching the road, but I had a feeling she wouldn't miss an opportunity to catch an eyeful and crash the car. "Feeling a little sadistic this evening?"

"You can kill a man once, but you can break him many times." The car came to a halt as she cut the engine. "C'mon Cinderella. We've made it to the ball."

Party? This was a support act for the apocalypse. Cars were parked everywhere up and down the street, over front lawns and molesting garden beds. People flowed into the party house like the growing tide. Dubstep and breakbeats permeated the air for a mile in every direction, if you could hear it over the cacophony of human cries and cheers. Windows were broken, lawn ornaments trashed, and I'm pretty sure I heard someone mention the toilet was on fire.

Faye took a moment to straighten up my appearance, adding some clips to my hair before throwing on some makeup that she skilfully applied despite the low light. Once she was done, she took a step back and gave me room to breathe. "How do you feel?"

"Like I'm half naked. Oh, and my lips taste like cherries."

"Then we're set." She took my hand, leading me up the driveway. "You got your phone with you?"

"Uh no..." I patted myself down through the thin cotton. "...I didn't think this dress came equipped with pockets."

"Right, my bad." She paused for a moment. "Tell you what. If we get separated, meet back at the car in three hours?"

That would make it around one am. I shrugged, figuring that it sounded like a plan. "Sure."

"So what are we gonna call you?" She asked as we passed the front gate, bedlam surrounding the house growing more visible with every passing moment.

"What? Nick works as a girls name." I did my best to sound indignant. "It's just short for Nicole."

"Yeah, and it's boring as hell. May as well skip to calling you Esther."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. How about Nicola?"

"You're a girl Nick, not a KGB spy."

"I don't hear any suggestions coming from you."

Faye paused, letting an idea roll about in her thoughts. "Nikki?"

"Could you pick a name that sounds more white-trash?"

She shot me an impish look. "That's why it suits you."

"I swear to god I will kill you, Faye. I'll start with the fingernails and peel you like an onion."

"N-i-k-k-i" She chanted, adding a skip to her step.

"Nikki?" I turned my head to see a kid, no more than seventeen or so...which I guess made us the same age....break off from his friends and quickly move to intercept. "Is that your name? I'm Josh."

Oh great. I wanted to be a girl so I could distance myself from the XY portion of the species, not encourage their congregation.

"Get lost, meatbag." The words left my mouth before I had a chance to contemplate their existence.

Poor guy was too shocked to respond, instead letting us walk unhindered on a stone path leading to the front door. "Holy shit. What was that about?"

"I informed him of his meatbag status. He was unimpressed."

Faye shrugged her shoulders. "Just saying. If that's the only time you get hit on tonight, you'll be lucky."

Inside, the party was wild enough to make Caligula blush: The wine cellar had been located and summarily looted, spoils of fine liquor and aged spirits were being thrown away like candy between the underaged patrons. Everywhere you looked there was barely room to move between the teenagers making out, thrashing to the wild beats, or simply destroying belongings of the unlucky home owners.

"It's not a party until something gets broken, right?" Faye offered helpfully.

"So you always say."

Okay, chill. I can do this. We're just a couple of girls out having a good time. The fact that I've loathed any kind of public gathering and chosen to insolate myself from reality as a gamer-geek should have no impact now, right? A red cup was thrust into my hand by an excited reveller, who offered Faye the same courtesy a moment later. As he dove back into the crowd, I looked at Faye with a hint of uncertainty. "I'm in way over my head, aren't I?"

She threw me a lopsided grin. "Welcome to my world, princess."

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"Y'know, I'm starting to reconsider this whole teenage-girl-thing." I slurred slightly, finding that for future reference, it took at least three drinks to loosen my tongue. Four to really start flying. "I mean, I figured it's be a blast considering how much fun you've had with it. New friends, new life. The whole modelling thing. But teenagers are just so....fucking annoying, y'know? I mean, present company excluded...they think they know everything, they're fucking noisy, horny, confused, angsty...and this party completely proves my point. I've only been here for what...two hours? And I've already seen three fistfights, a beer pyramid both constructed and demolished, and a jar of grandmas ashes used as a football.

Faye looked at me, her expression one of pure bewilderment. "What?"

I shook my head, determined to say what I had to say. "Listen Faye, I'm sorry, okay? This...all of it is my fault. I wanted Lust to save me, okay? I was jealous of you...I was sick of pretending to be a man when I hated it. I wanted to be a girl, okay? Okay? Are you even listening?"

It was only when the purple haired girl stood up and proceeded to pretend the last five minutes of her life never transpired, that I realized it wasn't Faye I'd been speaking to at all. Which begged the question of where exactly Faye had gone.

I stood up, stumbling slightly as I fought to keep the world from spinning. I was talking to her only a few minutes ago by the staircase...or at least I think I was. Maybe she's back there?

I made my way through the forest of human flesh, squeezing between trunks of adolescent boys and girls as I struggled to make my way to the landing area. Halfway there, a sensation hit me like a bucket of cold water. For an instant, I thought I was going to throw up, but I quickly realized it was something else...like a resonance? Kinda like when you try to force two ends of magnet together that are both positively charged...the same, but totally not supposed to be together either.

"The prodigal daughter returns? I'll lay low, you two have fun now..." A voice mewed softly in my ear.

I spun about, looking for who might have snuck up on me...but I couldn't spot anyone likely to be an offender, beyond one or two guys who had that I-wasn't-staring-down-your-top-a-second-ago look on their faces. Instead my eyes came to rest on a girl halfway up the staircase, who seemed to be surveying the party for reasons similar to my own.

Bobbie was tall, leggy, curvy in all the right places and blessed with platinum hair so pure you'd swear each strand was forged from freshly driven snow. Her eyes were pools of sweet blue that seemed a little too large for her face, but only served to heighten the sense of purity and innocence about her. Faye could have gotten her a job modelling in a heartbeat, but she seemed far more content working at the local bakery, churning out cupcakes that were the closest thing to sex science and baking could manufacture.

Well, that and a sex tape kinda destroyed her reputation around town. Forgot to mention that.

What's awkward is that I know Bobbie personally. Hell, she moved in with Faye and I when her mom tossed her out of house and home. I designed logos for her band and bakery. But there's no chance under God's hot sun that she'd recognise me the way I am now. And I wasn't about to tell her either, since I couldn't possibly imagine a single reason that would help anyone right now.

In fact, it was quickly becoming obvious that the best thing I could do right now would be to ignore her and pretend I hadn't spent the last several seconds gawking at her like a brain donor. I turned about, trying to exit the way I came when I found myself accosted by a guy in his early twenties, wearing a t-shirt that read "Tree fell in the forest and nobody was around to hear it. I bought the soundtrack." sporting a moustache so styled with wax my first thought was to light it at both ends.

"Some party, huh?" He offered thoughtfully. "You know, you're the prettiest girl here."

Holy shit. Lust, are you listening? I want to be a guy again. Please. I'll punch nuns in the face for you. I'll suck the blood from a wounded puppy.

I was trying to think of a way to extract myself from the situation that didn't involve complete hysterics, when I felt a hand slide around my waist as another presence encroached on my personal space. Jerking my head to the side, I was filled with a sense of confusion and relief as I realized it was Bobbie, clearly deciding to take the cockblocking duties upon herself.

"There you are." She smiled at me, blue eyes drawing in my gaze. For an instant I thought she was going to kiss me, but El-Hipster-Magnifico seemed to have already leapt to that assumption well ahead of me.

"Fucking lesbians. Unbelievable..." He muttered, disappearing into the crowd in search of fresh meat.

"That was...impressive." I said softly, staring into the distance where he'd vanished.

"I've had practice." She smiled warmly. "Besides, something told me you could use the help."

I turned my attention to the platinum goddess at my side. Last I saw her she was several inches shorter than me. Now she was easily taller.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks. It's nice to meet you." I said sheepishly, trying to feign ignorance.

"Bobbie." She offered.

My mind reeled, struggling to think of a suitable name to offer in return. Sadly in my inebriated state, I settled on the option I was trying specifically to avoid.

"Nikki! Uh...my name's Nikki," I cringed inwardly, reminding myself to find Faye and murder her as hard as I could.

She bit her lip, looking as if she was trying to see something in me which had vanished right before her eyes. A moment later she seemed to abandon the notion, opting to resort to banal chit-chat instead. "Fun night, huh?"

I groaned softly. No, tonight so far had been the opposite of fun. It was a hailstone in the shitstorm that was threatening to shred every fantasy I'd ever entertained of what life as a girl was like.

"Yeah, time of my life."

Bobbie looked about as she spoke. A ripple of interest had spread through the crowd. It was small at first, but seemed to be building momentum as people began to migrate toward the living room. "I usually bring cupcakes to this kind of thing."

I gave her a dubious look. "You bring cupcakes to house parties?"

"Yeah, free samples and stuff. I work at a bakery." Her response seemed well practiced, like it wasn't the first time she'd been asked that question. "But something tells me it wouldn't make much difference here anyway."

"Makes sense." I nodded. "They'd probably be used as some kind of assault weapon before anyone thought about eating them."

The crowds interest seemed to intensify as more people began filtering towards mysterious event, eager to catch a glimpse of what was going on. Bobbie gave me a confused look, obviously thinking the same thing that I was. "Do you know what's happening?"

"Probably another fight or something." Still, we began to move with the crowd, deciding it was best not to be left out of whatever was going down. Making our was over was a struggle, and as we approached several cheers went up from the growing audience. Someone twisted the dial all the way to eleven as the air hummed with a raunchy, undulating hip hop beat. Bobbie shot me a wary look as I stood up on my toes, finally catching a glimpse of what all the commotion was about.

Standing atop a table, surrounded by what seemed like a hundred leering fans, Faye was dancing for the crowd. Actually now that I think about it, dancing wasn't the word for it: She was grinding, rolling and teasing the fixated onlookers. Her every sublime curve oozed sensuality and forbidden pleasures, every move whispering the promise of a one-fuck-fantasy. She was trouble. The kind of trouble you -wanted-. Hands traced the swell of her ample breasts, arching her back as she thrust them out provocatively. At the same time she rolled her hips, Kanji tattoo on the small of her back glowing faintly even as a sea of heads craned to get a peek at what was hidden beneath her skirt.

It was art. Sexuality made flesh. And judging from how the drunk, horny guys in the audience were having their restraint worn away with every passing moment, there was absolutely no way it was going to end well for her.

I stared at Bobbie in horror, realizing she was quickly reaching the very same conclusion.

"We've gotta do something....right now."

 

Chapter two:

"I own this house, everything here is free to take!"

Nobody in their right mind could possibly be expected to believe the outlandish statement that spouted forth from my lips. No way should I get anything but a sea of empty faces in response to my blatant and obvious deception. That being the case, thank fuck for the fact that drunk teenagers didn't give a shit wether anything that I said had a single grain of truth to it or not.

They didn't want truth. They just needed a distraction and an excuse.

Any attention that may have been lavished upon my busty housemate vanished in a roar of excitement and chaos. In a heartbeat, the crowd that had been focused on Faye turned around and began to set upon anything that wasn't nailed to the floor. Hell, by the time I actually had a moment to even register Bobbie's look of shock and utter despair, I was pretty sure copper piping was being torn from the walls.

Of course, my wonderfully masterful plan, one that I had executed like a well-played game of chess, had a small flaw: We were trapped in the chaos with no visible way out.

Hundreds of people were screaming, fighting, smashing, throwing, grabbing and tearing objects, valuables and each other.

"Okay, new plan!" I shouted over the cacophony of destruction and upheaval. "We get the hell out of here!"

I couldn't hear what she said in response, but I could tell from the look on her face she agreed with me. There wasn't time to grab Faye...in fact, looking back to where she'd been dancing only moments ago, the table had vanished. I couldn't see it or Faye, but I was able to draw a correlation between the missing table and the cavernous hole that was once occupied by the kitchen window.

This was starting to get dangerous. Like, actually going-to-get-trodden-to-death dangerous. Doors and regular exits were out of the question: Blocked by as many people trying to get in as those trying to fight their way out. Spying the staircase, I realized the only way out was through.

"C'mon, we need to get upstairs and g-" My sentence was cut short by someone's head being jammed into my field of view, complete with a pair of lips pressed against mine. My body convulsed, fighting against the hands that slid around my waist as I pushed at what I assumed were the assailants shoulders. But they were too strong, breath reeking of alcohol and god knows what else as they held the embrace for several seconds.

When the figure finally withdrew, I made out the features of a kid, probably seventeen or eighteen with a mop of shaggy blonde hair, shit-eating grin plastered across his handsome features. He looked at me for a moment, eyes locked with mine...before he simply screamed jubilantly, thrusting arms into the air in celebration as he dove into the crowd in search of another victim.

That....fuck. That senseless, selfish, drunken asshole...he stole it from me. The one thing I'd been looking forward to more than anything else. That simple, little romantic notion that I had wanted to savour more than anything else since I'd become a girl.

He stole my first kiss.

I don't even know what happened next. I felt someone take my hand...it could have been Bobbie, or Faye....or that cock-gargling thunderfuck who'd just taken whatever semblance of innocence I had left. I was being pulled through the crowd, up stairs, into bedrooms, and out the window....onto a rooftop that overlooked the front yard and the streets beyond. My shoes clattered across ceramic roof tiles, causing me to fight for balance against the slope.

"Wha...the roof?" I was still incoherent, given my drunken and confused state.

"Seemed like the only opinion." Bobbie smoothed out her clothes, tucking her knees into her chest as she sat down. "Fighting our way out wasn't really an option."

"But...Faye's still in there." I paused for an instant, a little unsure of myself. "I think."

"Oh come on, she's got rocks in her head and lead in her ass. She'll be fine." She shot me a mischievous grin.

"Yeah, I guess." I took a seat beside her, watching looters stream into the street, even as more arrived to replace them. Was she okay? God I hoped so. As a guy, Kane had never been particularly remarkable. But as a girl, Faye was possessed by a determination and resolve that you rarely ever get to see in a person. If Faye was dunked into a tank of phosphoric acid, the acid would learn to its horror, that it could be stabbed.

Bobbie leant against the window we'd exited through. "I figure we just wait it out for a while and see what happens. People will get bored eventually, or the cops will show up."

"Why'd you help me back there?" I looked at her wearily, energy drained from stress and anxiety. "You barely even know me."

She smiled warmly. "That's what I do. I help people....it's in my nature, I guess."

"Fits your look." I muttered, noting her angelic mystique.

"So how do you know Faye, anyway?"

"Oh, friend of the family, y'know?" I said without a second thought, shocking even myself with how easy lying was starting to become. "I'm staying with her for a while."

People were starting to flow out into the streets now, clutching whatever worldly possessions they dared to carry. Contrary to Bobbie's earlier assertion, the mobs thirst for mayhem seemed only to be building, the sound of broken glass ringing out as someone started to ransack a nearby car. Jesus, what had I started here?

"Guess I was wrong about the crowd." She said, peering as far over the roof as she dared without getting spotted.

"What was your first clue?"

"Like I said, cops should be here soon." She said with a distinctly unimpressed air, surveying the carnage. "So much aggression..."

"Yeah, on second thought, my brilliant plan may have needed a little extra consideration." I said grimly. "I hope these guys are insured."

As if to serve as an exclamation point to my statement, there was a loud crash from behind us as someone physically kicked in the door to the bedroom that had been resting slightly ajar. That wouldn't come as so much of a surprise given that the house was being torn apart as we spoke, except for what I heard play out in the room beyond us.

"Eat a dick, you inbred fuck." Faye spat. "Eat all the dicks."

There was the sound of a scuffle, followed by a male voice I didn't recognize. "Aww baby, don't be like that. I just wanna have some fun with you."

Bobbie and I stared wide-eyed at each other, our profile hidden just below the windowsills. Holy sh...was this for real?

"I swear to god, if you touch me again you'll pull back a stump!"

Oh no. Not good....not good at all.

"Just gimme a chance, I swear you're not gonna regret it." The phantom voice said without a hint of irony.

Bobbie knew what I was going to do before I even did it. She held my hand, shaking her head silently. She was probably right...the smart play would be to go and get help. Find a neighbour. Scream. Find a weapon. Summon Voltron. Fuck, anything would be better than my plan.

Of course, my plan was that of the old Nick: The protective big brother. The guy who knew his way around a few drunken fistfights. The guy who wasn't a tiny blonde teenager who couldn't fight off a stiff breeze.

I turned and stood up, pulling myself free of Bobbie's grasp. Before I even knew what I was doing, I'd leapt over the window ledge, roaring with fury as I sprinted toward Faye and her assai-

Shit. There's three of them.

To be exact, there was the ringleader holding onto Faye tightly, one who was watching the door to make sure nobody interrupted the fun, and one who apparently appreciated the fine art of voyeurism. The posse of meatheads looked like they belonged to the football team, judging by their bulky physiques and assorted popped collars.

"Whoa, now this is more like it." The voyeur said as I quickly skidded to a halt. "I didn't know it was audience participation night."

I started to back away slowly, but there was nowhere to go: Rushing for the door would only get me caught by the lookout, and jumping out the window would give away Bobbie's hiding spot. Somewhere deep in the most primal part of my brain, flight-or-flight kicked in, forcing me to make an impossible choice: Save myself to no avail, or fight and get destroyed by an enemy who outnumbered and outgunned me.

So I figured...fuck it. I already died once. I can't die twice, right?

Faye thrashed against her captor to no avail, who had her pinned against him, one arm about her waist and forearm holding her by the throat. I quickly evaluated my options: I was faster now, I knew that. And surprise was going to be my only advantage in a fight where the odds weighed so heavily against me. The irony of all this was I'd read a thousand TG stories where the heroine found herself in a similar situation. She always does the same thing: Goes straight for the balls.

Why? It's a pretty obvious plot device. She gets to be empowered and rise above any obviously physical disadvantage, while exploiting a weakness of a gender she no longer possesses. But when you think about it in real life, there's a pretty big problem with that theory: It's easily the hardest part of the body to hit. I mean think about it: You're talking about trying to cleanly hit a couple of walnuts on a dude who has legs like tree trunks. Unless he's a Russian ballerina doing the splits, your chances of getting a clear shot are pretty fucking limited. Especially when he's expecting a confrontation.

Given that nutshots were off the table, I had exactly four seconds to think of a viable alternative before this asshole had me in the headlock-happyplace right next to Faye. That might present a problem for your regular girl. But I play videogames, son. And everyone knows that when faced with superior numbers, the first thing you do is look to your environment to get the upper hand.

The wooden chair beside the wardrobe had been serving as an impromptu drying rack before I enlisted it as a weapon of deadly force. I'd like to think the last thing that went through his head before the chair collided with it was "Chairs: My one weakness!"

But I guess we'll never know. Not until he wakes up, anyway.

The other two captors stared at me, utterly lost for words as I clutched the remains of the chair, which had broken apart from the impact of beating several decades of gender equality into the voyeurs skull. I let my eyes dart back and forth between the remaining two assailants, letting silence hang in the air before finally deciding to speak up.

"Anyone else want a shot at this?"

My answer came in the form of a 6'2", dangerously unhinged partygoer lunging at me in an attempt to avenge his fallen brother-in-sexual assault. My nerves were strung tighter than piano wire, riding a wave of adrenaline that forced my senses into overdrive. Casting the broken remains of my impromptu weapon aside, I braced myself for the impact: If I did this just right, I could turn his momentum against him, moving into a quick takedown. After that, it would just be Faye and I, two on one against the last dude. Pretty good odds in my book.

The deviant swung at me, just as I'd predicted with a messy haymaker. I raised my arms infront of me, crossed in an "X" motion for maximum defensive power...only to crumple beneath the force of the blow. My arms collapsed against my chest as I was driven back by the force of the attack, crying out in pain as I slammed against the wall behind me, knocking the wind from my lungs.

"Nikki!" Faye screamed, thrashing wildly against her captor before he struck her across the cheek.

"Shut the fuck up!" He roared, clearly having had enough of our little insurrection. "Open your mouth again, and I swear to god I'll break it."

Shit, shit, shit...I clutched the forearm which had absorbed the brunt of the impact, tears stinging my eyes as the second asshole grabbed my shoulder, pinning me to the wall. Fucking stupid...I...god dammit...as a guy I could have fought them off. I could have at least put up some kind of resistance. I could have done -something-. Instead my stupid quest for femininity had gifted me with a body that couldn't fight for shit. I'd sacrificed everything I'd taken for granted as a man, and been given nothing but misery and disappointment.

My assailant leered at me, firmly clutching my jaw, forcing me to meet his gaze. "Just play nice, okay? I promise I'll treat you like a princess."

Sure. Why not? Every time I figured life couldn't get any worse, someone shovelled shit in my face just to prove me wrong. I went limp, shoulders slumping as I resigned myself to whatever twisted fate this asshole had in store for me. Why fight? What was the point?

He moved in close, I could smell his breath as he kissed my neck, reeking of beer and cigarettes. As he hungrily sucked on the supple flesh of my nape, I shut my eyes tightly. Was this what Lust had in mind when she created me to be like this? Was I failure as a man and woman, something to be used and discarded for sexual gratification?

Just as I was preparing myself for what was to come, I felt his grip slowly relax, releasing me from his grasp as began to withdraw. Hesitantly opening my eyes, I caught a glint of steel flash just below his chin, as Bobbie wrapped around him like a snake, whispering in his ear. "You even think about touching her again, and I'll cut that mouth of yours to look like a Jack-o-lantern."

"Uh...just be cool, okay?" He said nervously, clearly realizing the gravity of his situation. "We were just having some fun."

"The fuck we were!" I spat contemptuously.

"Brad....little help?" He said in vain, realizing he was clearly outmanoeuvred.

"Brad's got problems of his own." A familiar figure strode purposefully into the room. I furrowed my brow, recognising him as the blonde-haired dude who'd kissed me in the hallway not that long ago. What the hell was he doing here? Not that it mattered: Given the situation, I wouldn't argue if Superman himself descended through the rooftop.

Faye was pinned to the bed beneath Brad, her shirt torn from his greedy need to paw at her breasts. She was shaking, though from fear or rage I couldn't tell. All that mattered was that Brad seemed to be wary of the new challenger, perhaps even fearful.

"What have I told you?" The new guy said, grabbing Brad by the shirt and hauling him off Faye, who in response gasped for breath, her assailants weight lifted from her as he was thrown against the wall. "You make one of us look bad, we all look bad."

Brad raised his hands defensively, trying to make the other relax. "Chase, have you looked around? It's fuckin' chaos. That little bitch started it with the dancing, nobody's gonna complain if she got what was commin' to her."

Chase didn't hesitate, cocking his arm before striking Brad in the jaw hard enough that he fell back against the wall once more, sliding to the ground.

"You stupid asshole." He paused long enough to spit contemptuously at Brad, who was now nursing his swelling jaw. "I'm going to help these two. You better not be here when I get back."

"...Fuck you." He murmured under his breath, unwilling to meet Chase's gaze.

Bobbie uncoiled herself enough from my attacker so that he was able to back away slowly, her knife never more than a hair's breadth from his throat until he nearly tumbled into the hallway. I let out the breath I didn't even realize I'd been holding, my whole body shuddering as adrenaline began withdraw from my bloodstream, leaving a gaping void in it's wake. Bobbie rushed to my side, her blade clattering to the ground.

"Are you okay?" She asked softly, sliding my arm around her shoulder, helping me to stand.

Emotion started to flow freely within me. Not rage, fear, uncertainty, or panic. Instead they all came at once, a torrent of raw, unbridled chaos that would not be contained. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I shook, every breath coming ragged and fast as I found myself completely overwhelmed. "That fucker....I'm gonna kill him..."

Bobbie stroked my hair gently, trying to console me. Calm me down. It wasn't working. The more I let the emotions flow, the more strongly they powered out. It was a ceaseless river that fed back into itself, growing stronger with every passing moment. I clenched my teeth together, tight enough that I could feel enamel grinding as my fingers curled into talons.

"GONNA...FUCKING...KILL HIM!"

Chase looked at Bobbie with obvious concern. "Can I do anything? I mean...is she gonna be okay?"

"She'll be okay. Just give us some time." Bobbie began to lead me towards the door. "We just need to get you home, right?"

I nodded wordlessly, unable to speak. Unable to think of anything. I was beyond any logic or reason, just pure animal instinct at this point.

"Okay." He nodded, content not to risk provoking the situation any further. "I'll just help your friend and we can get out of here."

Chase turned to help Faye, who he'd not been paying attention to until now. To his surprise, she had already removed herself from where she lay on the bed, and instead stood over Brad, looking down at him dispassionately.

Chase offered his hand to her. "C'mon, he's not gonna hurt you."

She didn't answer, didn't even move as she stared at the beaten rapist with cold, unfeeling eyes.

"Faye...?"

Brad didn't have time to react as she swung her boot viciously, connecting with his already bruised jaw. He howled in pain, a spray of blood filling the air as he recoiled from the impact. But Faye wasn't done, not by a long shot. She kicked him again...and again...and again. Even as he curled into a foetal position, hands wrapped around his face to try and shield him from the onslaught, she kept kicking him remorselessly.

Chase for all his earlier gallantry, didn't do anything to stop her. Even Bobbie was tempted, but seemed to abandon the thought just as quickly. They didn't interrupt because they were cruel, or wanted to enjoy the show. They held back for the same reason that I didn't lift a finger act: This wasn't just revenge...it was a message to anyone who ever thought they could touch her and get away with it. Anyone who believed she was just a piece of ass to be claimed and conquered. They needed to look at Brad and remember just how much it had cost him to try and steal his prize.

As I was led out of the room, I promised myself that I would do the same before this ordeal was over.

 

Chapter three:

The cops showed up eventually, though they may as well have not bothered. By the time any arrests were made, the house was practically deserted: Only a handful of stragglers remained, determined to tear the last lighting fixtures from the walls. African predators couldn't have stripped a carcass that fast.

Bobbie, Faye and I were all huddled in the back of Chase's van, parked a good way down the street. Faye was still shaking lightly...maybe from the shock of what had happened, or just the adrenaline starting to wear off. By comparison, I wasn't doing all that badly: I had a few scrapes and a couple of bruises, nothing that wouldn't fade in a week or so. Instead most of the damage had been done to my pride.

My mind kept replaying the scene in my head, over and over, faster and faster....no matter how much I wanted to, it wouldn't stop. Like my subconscious was determined to remind me of what I'd allowed myself to become.

Weak.

Helpless.

A target.

I clenched my eyes shut, at the same time fighting back a surge of emotion that caught in my throat. This was nothing like what I'd dreamt of. Every waking moment since I'd made a bargain with Lust had done nothing but fill me with emptiness and regret. It stripped away my illusions and presented me with the cold, hard truth: Being a girl was nothing like what I'd envisioned. And honestly, the truth of that was so depressing, I'd kill myself all over again if it weren't for the fact Lust would probably be there to meet me again when I opened my eyes.

My train of thought was derailed when the side of the van popped open, Chase quickly stepping in before sliding the door shut. "Okay, the cops are just packing up. Pretty soon we should be good to move."

"Remind me again why I'm not getting three assholes thrown in prison right now?" Faye growled, her eyes narrow slits as she looked up at Chase.

"Whoa, relax." He held his hands up defensively as he took a seat. "You've got to trust me on thi-"

"Fuck trust!" I spat. "I don't owe you a goddamn thing!"

He let my words hang in the air, the silence broken only by the sound of my rapid, panicked breaths. I inhaled slowly, trying to regain a modicum of control before he spoke.

"You've got to think about this rationally." He said in a slow, deliberate voice. "I heard about what happened from Bobbie. She got me to come and help, okay? I know what they were -going- to do. We all do. But the fact is that they didn't get a chance."

"And attempted rape stopped being a felony, when...?" Bobbie volunteered a little too casually.

Chase let out a frustrated sigh. "It's not that simple."

"Try me."

Chase grit his teeth, trying to think of the least offensive way to articulate the violently sexist fact he was about to divulge. "Those guys are on the Blue Devils. We all are. And I don't know if you've been keeping up on current events, but this town fucking loves the Blue Devils football team."

Sadly....that was actually pretty true. Last year when they won the state championship, the whole town lost it's goddamn mind. We had a parade, banners all over the streets, team pride day all across town, you name it. At the time Faye and expressed the zero fucks we had to give about football by holding a private Street Fighter tournament for the title of master of the universe, which explains how we kinda didn't recognise any of them.

"Your point being?" Faye muttered darkly.

"My point..." He continued. "...is that being on a championship team affords the players a certain level of privilege. We bring in funding for the school, revenue for the venues, and tourism for the town. So nobody wants to see a scandal hit the team, especially when it might land their players in jail."

I shot Chase a look that could tear through him. "You're trying to keep us from causing a scandal? Fuck that! I'd rather see the team torn apart then let them get away with what they did to us."

Chase shook his head. "You're not listening. You can tell the cops all you want. You can scream until your throat is dry and it's not going to matter: They didn't rape you. Hell, you'd be lucky if you weren't the ones hauled off in cuffs for the way you messed up Jake with that chair."

I stared at him in disbelief. "You've gotta be kidding me."

"You think you're the first girls those guys have tried to rape? When you're on a team that's worshipped like a pack of Greed gods, you start to get a complex about entitlement. Everyone on the team, even me, has broken the law. I'm ashamed to admit it, but it's the truth. And so long as nobody gets killed and there's no photos to prove it, the cops turn a blind eye every time."

"Wait a minute." Faye seemed to be calming down, but her trepidation was rapidly being replaced by scalding hot rage. "You've pulled this kind of shit before too?"

"Me?" Chase balked. "Jesus...god no. I swear, worst I ever did was trash a car one time."

"But those guys have?"

"Yeah...Yeah they have."

"If I had a week, I couldn't explain how wrong that is." Bobbie sounded a little less emphatic, clearly a little downcast given what Chase had said.

"Like it or not, you've got to live with it." He replied bluntly. "It's how the town works."

"So we just do nothing?" I balked. "Just pretend none of this ever happened, high-five in the hallway when we see them?"

"Not what I'm saying at all. Okay? Just...it's been a hell of a night. Can we just get some rest and discuss options when cooler heads prevail? You can still file charges in the morning if you want."

"You're serious, aren't you?" I could practically hear Faye's teeth grinding together.

He nodded. "I swear to god, I am not doing this to cover anyone's ass."

"Whatever." She said under her breath as she stood up, shifting gears suddenly. Clearly he'd struck more than a nerve with that last comment. "It's late and I'm over this. You coming, Nikki?"

"Faye, wait-" Bobbie protested, but she was cut off as Faye waved a hand dismissively. The van's side door popped open, and Faye hopped out into the cool night air.

"So are you coming or what?" She muttered tersely.

I cast a weary look at my companions, but decided it wasn't worth arguing. No point in losing more time lamenting time lost, and all that stuff. I hopped out of the van, and began walking alongside Faye up the hill to where the Evo was parked. Once we were out of earshot, Faye decided to speak up.

"Can you fucking believe it?"

"Believe me, I'm trying not to." I rolled my eyes in agreement. "Are you okay? You seem kinda out of it."

She shook her head. "Probably not. I mean....fuck! I've had my ass handed to me plenty of times by guys like those assholes. That's not what bothers me."

I shivered, my mind all to happy to remind me how easily I'd been overpowered. "Yeah, tell me about it...those fuckers."

"Just...ugh. What they wanted? What they were thinking...?"

"I know, I know." God, it felt horrible just admitting it. "It's just...I mean...-do- you want to talk about it?"

"I thought guys didn't talk about their feelings?"

I looked at her darkly as we approached the car. "That's not funny."

"I know." She was quiet now, almost whispering. "My bad."

Faye fumbled with her keys as she stood at the driver's side of her car, first rays of the morning sun starting to glow against the paintwork. I waited for her to unlock my side, hugging my arms against my chest. I wasn't sure if the need wars born form insecurity or the cool night air. "So what are we gonna do?"

"First? I'm gonna get some sleep." She said, popping the door open. "Then I'm gonna figure out how we can pay those assholes back a hundred times over."

I couldn't help but smile a little. Seeing Faye quiet and withdrawn didn't suit her at all; This was much better. "Any ideas on how you want to do that?"

"I want to find out what they love most in the world. Then I'm gonna burn it."

---------------------------------------------

Sleep is one of those things we take for granted as adults. Roughly one third of your entire life is spent catching shut-eye, which wouldn't be so shocking if any of us could remember our dreams. Sure, some people might, or they keep journals which they scribble in every morning to capture the images conjured from their imagination, before the memories scatter too far to grasp.

Personally, I never remember my dreams. Sometimes I might be reminded of some vague detail a few hours after waking, but for the most part I didn't really care. Dreams were dreams, and to dwell on something immaterial and impermanent seemed like a waste of effort.

That was, until tonight. As I watched the paint flake from my bedroom walls...ichor and languid smoke seeping in through the cracks between the floorboards, I knew perfectly well that I was dreaming. That none of this was real. Even as the room itself creaked and heaved like a living creature, I knew that this scene was taking place inside my head.

The only problem was, I wasn't alone.

"How's my favourite new thrall?" Her voice was playful and teasing as before, a stark juxtaposition to the way thick beads of tar rolled off her skin like water from a ducks back. She stood at the end of my bed, no longer satisfied with looking like Faye, she had taken on a form of my raven-haired doppelganger. "Been making new friends, I see."

"Lust..." I clenched my teeth, climbing off the bed sheets even as they turned to ash. "...you know goddamn well this isn't what I wanted. None of it is."

She tilted her head to the side, giving me a curious look. "No? And here I thought you wanted to be a girl, just like Faye?"

"Exactly!" I snarled, the frustration of everything I'd endured since our first meeting bubbling to the surface of my psyche. "Just like Faye! Someone who's confident! Sexy! A girl who can get whatever she wants in life! Not some waifish girl-next-door who's greatest achievement to date has been getting beaten and almost raped!"

She smiled, shivering like someone who'd just tasted the sweetest delight imaginable. "Ooooh...your jealousy is intoxicating. Not particularly useful to me, but I appreciate a snack nonetheless."

"I don't give a shit what you enjoy!" I shoved my face right infront of hers, but she didn't flinch even for a moment. Her eyes were black, lipid pools that seemed to go on forever, not betraying the slightest hint of emotion beyond what she wanted me to see.

"Oh, I know." She chided. "But where's the fun in it for me if I gave you exactly what you wanted? Wouldn't really suit my purposes."

"Your purposes?"

"Please don't tell me you think I gave you that ring just for show." Her fingers mingled with mine, leaving black streaks in their wake as they brushed the ring. "You don't remember our deal, do you?"

I hesitated, wondering if I should try to bluff, before realizing the futility of such an act: She was already in my head, after all. Chances that she knew what I was going to say before I even said it were pretty high. "Yeah...what of it?"

She smirked. "I'm sure not even Faye knows this, but the two of you are hardly the first of my creations. I've had quite a chorus line of pretty young things like you in my service."

I narrowed my gaze, not liking what I was hearing at all. "In your service?"

She gave me a smile of sickly innocence. "I don't like to talk about myself...but suffice to say that throughout the ages, I was called upon to grant all manner of gifts and boons to magi and amateur alike. I wasn't forced, I did it of my own free will...honestly I appreciated the attention. But to create one thing, another has to be destroyed. I had to get the energy from somewhere to bring their fantasies to life...and sadly it meant that someone had to die to make it happen."

I recoiled at the implication of what she was saying "You killed people just to grant sick fantasies?"

"I did. It's an equivalent exchange, you see: You can't have one without the other." She shook her head slowly. "But as the centuries wore on, man's appreciation of the dark arts began to wane in favour of science and the pursuit of profound knowledge. I needed energy to sustain myself...without taking a little every time I was called into service, I would eventually fade away into nothingness."

"You're breaking my heart." I sneered.

Her smile spread wide across her face like a hungry predator. "Oh? But we're just getting to the best part...see, in my desperation, I discovered a way to sustain myself without having to take a life. I could bond a individual to me, make them an instrument of my will in the material world. Their emotion, the raw energy of their passions and pleasures was just as sweet as any life force I'd ever tasted. And in turn, they could enjoy the power that I offered them to make their desires a reality."

"So that explain Faye, huh? Funny, I don't remember her asking you for anything."

"Not that you know of." She smirked. "You are right though, she never did ask me for anything. Faye was a special case bought about by a situation beyond my control. One that proved to be my undoing."

I folded my arms beneath my breasts, looking at her dubiously. "And yet here we are."

Lust waved a finger disapprovingly. "Ah, ah. I already told you I'm not giving that little secret away so easily. Besides, I think I've already said too much."

"Then get out of here. Right now I should be dreaming about Optimus Prime helping me save the universe."

She shook her head once more. "In a moment. Faye and all the other thralls bear a mark that serves as the link between us."

My mind reeled, trying to picture what she may be speaking of...until it settled on the painfully obvious. "The Kanji tattoo?"

"That's one type of mark." She nodded. "But I have others, like your cute little ring. It has a much more special purpose."

I held my defiant pose, doing my best to gaze fearlessly into those dark, soulless eyes. "Like what?"

"You're about to find out."

---------------------------------------------

My eyes flew open as a sharp breath punctuated the silence surrounding me. I was still in the same room, but the signs of Lust and her corpulent decay had vanished. I was left wondering if I'd even been asleep at all...or if the whole thing had been some kind of waking hallucination. Have you ever had a dream so real that you weren't sure where it ended and reality began? Ugh...never mind.

I swung my legs off the edge of the bed, shoulders slumped as I tried to brush away the last cobwebs of sleep cluttering my thoughts. Lust words rang in my ears as I squirmed against the bed, whole body feeling warm and flustered. I looked at the ring on my finger, pink stone glowing faintly in the dark, as characters I'd not seen before, Kanji written in another language along it's band radiated a purple energy.

"Okay..." I muttered softly, studying the object. "...that's a new trick."

I bit my lip, heart quickening as questions began to race through my mind. Was this what Lust was talking about? Should I tell Faye? What if I tried to smash it with a hammer? Holy shit...maybe I should cut off my finger?

I sat up, trying to force down the panic that was rapidly overtaking me. I was taking short, sharp breaths...blood pounding in my ears. No, I had to fight this. Faye fought it, right? I can too...I just need calm down. Need to think.

But no matter how I tried...I couldn't calm down. My body felt hotter, skin tingled with newfound sensitivity, causing even the brush of cotton against my skin to feel like sandpaper. I shook my head, swallowing hard as my addled mind tried to make sense of what was happening. But then it hit me...and the only reason I didn't feel any more stupid than I already did in that moment, was the fact that I didn't have any knowledge what this sensation felt like until now.

I wasn't terrified. I was horny.

A hot, wet sensation grew in my loins as I stared at my crotch through the dress in disbelief, I could feel my breasts wobbling on my chest, throbbing...growing larger in the confines of the bra that cradled their growing shapes. I shook my head, groping the swelling mounds through the fabric of my top, wincing at the sensations that motion sent through me. Oh god...

But it wasn't just my breasts; everything about me was starting to change. I could feel my face twitch and pull in different directions, features being re-sculpted by invisible hands as my hair turned from honey blond to a lustrous black, strands glinting like obsidian shards in the faint light.

My breasts felt enormous now, as every little movement seemed to send them bouncing and tugging madly against my chest and the fabric that strained to contain them. My hands grasped the sheets, desperately clinging onto them as I instinctively spread my legs, thrusting my hips against the empty air beyond them!

Moans and helpless whimpers slipped by my lips as arousal and desire coursed through my veins like molten fire. I couldn't bear it any longer. I needed this to stop...I needed release! I needed...god, I needed....more than that? Freeing themselves from the sheets, my hands tore at my clothes, frantically stripping one layer after another from my body until nothing was left. I stared at my now hairless vagina, folds glistening with juices. I could feel my labia parting, revealing a pink, creaming slit.

I gasped, unable to stifle the sound of my strangled moans. I pawed greedily at my chest, shocked to find that my breasts were so large now that I couldn't even fit them in my small, dainty hands. My fat, turgid nipples pressed against my palms as I felt my pussy clench, the spasmodic thump and flexing began to overwhelm my senses...it was an aching, empty sensation inside my hips. Slowly, as if toppling over a cliff into a sea of untainted bliss, juices slipped out of my thumping, flexing vagina, as my body was consumed by it's first spontaneous climax!

I collapsed against the bed, sheets sticking lightly to my skin which was now glistening with sweat. What the hell had Lust done to me? Wasn't it enough that I had been her plaything once when she turned me into the girl-next-door? My whole body felt radically different to what I'd been slowly growing accustomed to over the last couple of days. As my breath began to slow, I felt my curiosity starting to get the better of me.

The bathroom flooded with light as I stumbled in, legs still feeling a weak after the orgasm that overwhelmed me only moments ago. Why on earth would Lust even do this to me...was she that sick, so twisted to force this on me after I'd narrowly escaped being raped only a few hours prior? It seemed senseless just to inflict this on me for kicks and giggles...there had to be another reason.

I looked down at myself, eyes taking in the sight of my new physique for the first time. My breasts were...enormous; two ripe orbs thrusting proudly from my chest, capped of with thick, tan nipples that seemed to proudly declare my femininity to anyone who might look. It was impossible to tell for sure, but I felt like they were easily as large as Faye's...maybe even bigger, I realized with a sense of mild disbelief.

So much for being a member of the Itty bitty titty committee.

Shifting my attention, I began to look for other changes that Lust had wrought upon me. My skin was a shade darker, looking tan, maybe with a touch of olive. The most obvious difference was that my hair had grown even longer as it shifted from blond to ebony, lustrous strands now stretching far enough to tickle the small of my back.

So what did I look like? I gritted my teeth, inhaling slowly. Probably best if I found out sooner rather than later. The last thing I needed was for Faye to rouse from her slumber and catch yet another naked female stranger in the house. Last time she nearly stabbed me before I could talk her down, meaning I wasn't too keen to see what happened if I tested my luck a second time.

When I'd first been transformed, everything felt a little bigger, just a bit taller due to my reduction in stature. Standing up straight, I realized the effect now seemed magnified further still...did that mean I was even shorter? Great...just...perfect.

Taking a deep breath, I steeled my resolve as best I could before moving infront of the bathroom mirror. My hips were so wide now that there was actually a small gap of space between my thighs as I strode, keeping them from brushing against one another. The effect was more than a little disconcerting.

It took a moment for me to register the assortment of features in the mirror as my own, kind of like how when you first lay eyes on a stranger, it takes just a second to make an appraisal of their appearance. Was I old or young? Fat or thin? Ugly or beautiful?

My breath caught in my throat as I stared at the girl in the mirror. I wasn't beautiful at all. I was fucking gorgeous. Every inch, every curve and feature of my body practically oozed sensuality and sex. I didn't look like a normal girl at all...or anything even mortal for that matter. I was every mans fantasy bought to life. A manifestation of pure sexuality.

I was...a little older, maybe eighteen or nineteen. My features had shifted, becoming flawlessly Asian, Japanese if I had to guess. It made sense...after all, we'd assumed Faye's transformation was at least half Japanese from Lust's subtle influence. Add her use of Kanji to that and it all fit together. The ethnic slant of my eyes was just enough to invoke an air of mystery and sensuality. Small nose, rounded, high cheekbones that any model would kill for. My lips were perfect, pouty without overdoing it, and formed the shape of an angel's bow when I gently pursed them together.

While I was shorter, my body was every bit as rapturously feminine and luscious as I was starting to expect. I watched my reflection as a slender hand reached up and cupped one of my heavy breasts, lifting and supporting it. A sudden awareness of this newly swollen flesh being cupped and squeezed crept into my awareness. I let go, causing tremors to ripple across my breast and the dark nipple it possessed to quickly grow erect. A gasp filled the air as I felt my bald nether lips twitch, signalling the return of a sensation I was quickly becoming familiar with as feminine arousal. I shivered lightly, a worried look crossing my new features as I tried to force the sensation down. Just how ravenous was my new body's sexual appetite?

I shook my head, tousling ribbons of shimmering black hair in the process. What the hell was I supposed to do now? I couldn't stay in the house, that was for sure. Not looking like this. Faye would have far too many questions, and I'm not sure if I could deflect her suspicions surrounding my transformation much longer. Worse still, If she found out the truth of my reasons behind becoming a girl, I might lose her forever. There was no choice, no decision to make. My path was clear: I had to run.