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Sometimes, I get tired of being fragile.
Like last night, I was talking with Ruth, and I confessed to being scared to admit how much being a girl means to me. And as I talked, I started crying and shook as I tried to explain that once I admit I have no intention of going back to being a guy I wont have any defenses left to protect me from the baggage in my head.
Ah, well.
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Comments
You'll be fine.
It's a cliche but your willing to talk to someone about your fears, your anxiety. Your on a journey as they say about a life changing experience and your scared. But its normal to have that fear. You have people willing to listen and help you. So while you think your fragile, your building yourself up also and when its over you'll be - I'm sure, a better person for it. For your becoming who you feel you should be.
I'm right there with you
I have admitted to myself, to my therapist, to my doctor, to my friends here, and to my children - but not to the rest of the world. It's a scary thing, taking that big step off into the void.
I'll make a deal with you, when I'm ready to do it, we can do it together.
I'll hold your hand if you hang on to mine.
Lot's of love and support,
Dallas
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
Perhaps a question?
...you may need to ask yourself why going further with your transition would leave you with no defenses? You're the same person inside that you've always been; emotionally,psychologically, and neurologically. Whatever defenses you've used to this point should still be available. It almost seems as if you see yourself as more vulnerable purely because of your gender. What does your therapist say? Do you have any peers locally with whom to discuss your concerns? I'm still praying, dear heart!
Love, Andrea Lena
You are becoming a woman
and women have fragile spells like that, or so I am told. And I am not sure fragile is the right word. Seems to me emotional would be a better description. And as others have already said, there is nothing wrong with how you feel and how it affects you.
Don't let someone else talk you out of your dreams. How can we have dreams come true, if we have no dreams?
Katrina Gayle "Stormy" Storm
Being a girl...
Being a girl means so much to you because you ARE a girl. The mental baggage can sometimes be unloaded, or deliberately abandoned or even left behind on the train of life. Just don't go back to the 'Lost Property' office cos' you're on a different train now girl! Stay on it as long as you need to.
Happy travelling girl.
Bevs.
You are fealing is...
Honesty not fragility, you have cast aside the imaginary armor of self deception and you now need to adjust to what your really have always felt but ignored pretending you were not hurt.. You have always been a women and now you are willing to grasp and understand all that being a women means. As you gain experience you will develop coping skills to heal the pains you have experienced. Pain is not the end of things and sometimes to get what we need and want we will experience it.
But do not let the fear of being hurt or feeling SOME pain dissuade you from your cherished goals. We believe in you and your courage, so please keep your faith and stay sweet.
Huggles
Michele
With those with open eyes the world reads like a book
It isn't an easy path
you've chosen, keep seeing the end point that you wish to achieve and hold that in mind when the fears arise. Keep telling yourself you will get there, one step at a time - each one taking you closer.
Angharad