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Edited by S.L.Hawke
Image Copyright © 2012 Tracey Willows

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The Taylor Project
 
 
Chapter Seventy-Two

Today started off awesome. I wore a real nightgown that was mine to sleep in. I had painted toes inside my shoes and panties on under jeans. That was three touchstones: boobs, panties and shoes, my little security blankets. For the first time in a week I had a BFF with me on the way to school. Granted it was my BFF and sister, Hailey and not my BFF and girlfriend, Cathy. I was still in boy mode and I missed Cathy, but it was good not to be alone again.

“So explain to me, why are you wearing that particular outfit?” I asked.

Hailey was wearing the pink blouse and denim skirt that I’d first saw her in. The same set that was my first girl clothes ever. I’d returned them to her once I’d had my own clothes, but I hadn’t expected to see her in them this morning. She gave me a grin. “It’s a show of support for you. First, they’re the clothes you wore, so it’s a reminder to you that I’ve got your back. And second, this is one of my favorite outfits. It’s girly with being soft. I want to look especially good today. By now the rumor mill should be churning that I’m related to you.”

Ouch. My good mood crashed on the hard rocks of reality. The gossip grapevine had been a problem on Friday in just the one class we had together. What was it going to be like today? “You know, you can always distance yourself from me.”

“I’m not abandoning you, Taylor. If people try to put you down around me, they’d better watch out. I try to avoid the whole 'mean girl' stuff.” Hailey made little air quotes with her hands as she said ‘mean girl’. “However, I’m not going to stand by and let you get slammed.”

“And I appreciate that so much.” Deliberately I reached out and touched Hailey’s arm briefly to emphasize my point. Watching Hailey do the air quotes thing had reminded me that I needed to use my hands more while talking. Girls did it so naturally, but I still had to think about it. Although maybe I shouldn’t be practicing that while I was supposed to be in boy mode. Anyway, this time I got it right because Hailey smiled at me.

It was interesting to watch Hailey operate. I’m not good at meeting new people, but Hailey was a social butterfly. She nodded hello to everyone on the bus as we passed them and talked with everyone who spoke to her. I sat between her and the window, and it felt like I had a social bodyguard. It didn’t take long to prove she was serious about defending me. Twice she was invited to swap seats away from me. The first was a polite offer, and Hailey politely declined.

Lisa Rudrow, sophomore and ex-girlfriend of Rick, wasn’t as nice. After she did the introduction thing, she got straight to her point. “You should come on back and sit with us. You can’t pick your relatives, but you can pick where you sit. You look too good to be Snotty’s sister.”

“Look, Lisa.” Hailey’s claws came out quick, and she sliced back. “I know how my brother got his nickname. As you said, some things we have no control over. Allergies and asthma are a medical condition. So I’ll pick my own friends, thank you very much, and I pick him. And you can go pick your nose, because from where I sit you’re the one who’s being Snotty.”

“Bitch. You’re making a huge mistake in your choice of friends. When you wake up and realize you’re just Snotty’s Sister, and it’s too late, don’t come crying to me.” Lisa spun on her heel in a huff, and stalked back to her seat.

“Wham!” I congratulated Hailey. “You might not like the mean girl thing, but you do it so well.”

“Yeah? Well, look out Pine Hill. They so didn’t pick the right day to pull that shit on me.”

It took me a moment to work that out. “You mean you’re… Um.”

“On the rag, having a visit from my Aunt Flo, bitchy as hell and stay out of my way? Yeah, I’m all that today – with a side of Midol. It’s the downside of being a girl.”

“Oh-kay.” The bus was moving again so we were mostly private. “Sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? You didn’t do it, and you’ll never have to experience it.”

How was I supposed to answer that? I don’t think she had any clue how much that little remark hurt. The truth was that I’d trade what I had for what she had in a heartbeat. She’d probably have children some day. It was doubtful I ever would. Klinefelter males were often sterile, and being a T-girl turned not likely into no chance at all. However, that was a more theoretical, sometime worry. I just wanted what she had. I’d swap malformed boy parts for her functional girl parts even on a bad day. Well, assuming it was some magical genie wish swap. I still wasn’t at all sure about SRS, real surgery was real scary. Freud wrote about penis envy: I had a bad case of vagina envy. If only I’d been born a girl...

“You know, it’s not really something that I’m proud of,” continued Hailey. “The battle is just beginning. I’m not really alpha girl material. I’m just bitchy today. I sing in choir. I don’t want to be a cheerleader or rule the school. I’ll probably end up in the choirgirl clique. I’m okay with that, but I won’t sit still while people insult you to my face.”

“So is choir its own clique?” I hoped she did end up in the choir clique... instead of being a loser like me.

“Yes and no. From what I can tell Pine Hill is about the same as Whistlestop. There are girls who just happen to be in choir, there are the religious choirgirls who are part of the religious clique, and there is a choir clique. That’s how I met Mandy, by the way; she is in my choir class.”

“Mandy’s in choir? I did not know that.” Although it made sense. Hailey had choir just before lunch, so it made sense that she’d followed Mandy out and they’d had lunch together. Which brought me to another topic. “You sure you want to eat lunch with me, Dave and Lloyd?”

“Of course. I want to meet your friends... even if you've said that you’re not really that close.”

“Okay.” I had a bad feeling about that. More and more I’d come to realize that Dave and Lloyd weren’t really my friends. They were also clueless about girls, and being seen with them wouldn’t help Hailey’s reputation any. Still, I had made my objections known and she had insisted.

Hailey and I had first, second and seventh periods together. She stuck by me like glue until we had to go our separate ways at third period. I was rather expecting another incident like the one with Lisa on the bus, but no one was rude to her face. There were whispers going on around us, but no one else confronted us. Hailey did her social butterfly thing and a lot of people who ignored me were polite to her. Maybe there was hope, or more accurately Hailey was my hope.

I expected trouble from Kevin in English, but he didn’t do a thing. Perhaps that was because Gerstacker was ripping the whole class up and down about a major writing assignment. She’d graded our drafts over the weekend, and it was very clear she wasn’t impressed as she handed them back. My draft got a C, which is what I’d come to expect in her class. I’m pretty sure she graded me harshly because she didn’t like me. I really needed better coursework grades because I could count on my test grades sucking – they always did. With my borderline grades, I could fail English if I didn’t pull my grades up. So I shut up and paid attention.

Chapter Seventy-Three

Lunch found me lingering around the doorway to the cafeteria, waiting for Hailey. We’d agreed to meet up here. She was going to eat lunch with me and tentatively with Dave and Lloyd. I had already introduced her to Dave in second period, but I had a bad feeling about this lunch. It was less about Dave and Lloyd not really being my friends, than about them being clueless jerks when it came to girls. I just hoped they kept a lid on it this time. This was going to be interesting, as in the Chinese curse kind, not the Vulcan one.

To my surprise, Hailey showed up with Mandy walking beside her. “Hey, Hailey. Hey Mandy.”

“Hello you, hay is for horses. Anyway, is it okay if Mandy joins us as well?”

“You mean just the three of us eat lunch together?” Did she just change the lunch plan? Maybe that was for the best.

“No, we’ll join you, Dave and Lloyd. Right Mandy?”

Mandy rolled her eyes. “Oh, sure.”

“Oh, okay.” What popped into my head was the time Mandy had worn a tight green sweater. Dave and Lloyd had called her a slut simply because her sweater was tight and she had boobs. This could so turn out awful. I pushed those doubts aside and tried to make conversation. “So… how are your classes going?”

That got Hailey started, and she and Mandy did most of the talking as we went through the line. Apparently she liked her classes and people were mostly being friendly. Once we’d picked up our food, I guided us over to Dave and Lloyd. “Hailey, you've met Dave, this other clown is Lloyd. You two, this is my new sister, Hailey. You know Mandy already, right?” I sat down and waited for the rocks to start falling.

“Of course, have a seat ladies.” Dave was surprisingly smooth. “So we were discussing the mystery meat. Do you think it’s actually beef?”

No tacky comments? I was surprised. I sat down, started eating, and mostly listened to the conversation. It seemed to be going well. It wasn’t even derailed when Dave started talking about his character from World of Warcraft, how he had a Pandarian monk – basically he played Kung-fu Panda. I think Dave was trying to show off, but neither Hailey nor Mandy seemed very impressed by his videogame accomplishments. Lloyd was an even bigger surprise. He went silent and barely said a word. Things seemed to be going good.

“You should try WoW sometime. It’s really cool.” Dave urged Mandy. “Which reminds me... Snotty, when are you going to use that free trial?”

“I’ve been busy.” That was a polite and true answer to an old argument. Dave would ask me to play and I would make noises about it. I had already done one free trial. WoW had been fun for the two weeks it had lasted. Unfortunately I didn’t have the monthly fee and had to quit. I had zero interest in doing another free trial. That had been true even before my life started changing. With everything I had going on the real world, there was no way that I was going back to WoW.

“Wait a minute,” interrupted Hailey. “What did you just call my brother?”

Dave looked puzzled. “Um, Scotty. That’s his name.”

Hailey shook her head. “No, you didn’t. You called him Snotty. His name is Scott, not Scotty, and certainly not Snotty. I thought you were his friend.”

“I am. It’s just kidding. Guys do that, Miss Politically Correct.”

“Oh, just kidding. I see.” She looked Dave over like he was an insect she was about to crush under her shoe. She did the air quotes thing again as she said, “So, would it be 'just kidding', or 'politically correct', if I decided to start calling you 'Fatty'?”

Lloyd laughed. He licked his finger and made a hiss sound as he carved an imaginary mark in the air. “She burned you, Fatty.”

“Lloyd, shut up.” Dave gave him a glare then shrugged at Hailey. “I said I didn’t mean nothin' by it. You should see what goes on in the Barren’s chat. Sheesh, don’t have a cow. Scotty, tell her it’s okay.”

This is where I could be one of the guys, stick up for Dave, and say it was no big deal. “No, it’s not okay. It’s never been okay.”

Mandy looked distinctly uncomfortable, but Lloyd was loving it. Hailey didn’t let up. She had her gaze fixed on Dave. “I think you owe my brother an apology.”

“Look here now, we didn’t invite you over here. You can crack the pussy whip somewhere else – I’m not your boyfriend. Who appointed you Miss Manners, anyway?”

This was all going bad, just like I feared it would. A part of me wanted to say it was okay just to defuse the situation, but I couldn’t do that. Hailey was sticking up for me, so I felt I had to do the same for her. “Maybe you’re not her boyfriend, but you are supposed to be my friend.”

“I am your friend. What is this? Hos before bros?”

“Ooooo”, said Lloyd with a grin.

“Did you just call my sister a ho?!” I stood up and leaned over the table.

“It’s just an expression, but hey, if it fits!” Dave stood up and glared back at me.

“Well that it’s then. We’re done, Dave. If you wanna be friends again, let me know when you’re ready to apologize.” I softened my tone. “Hailey, Mandy let’s go.” As I looked around, I was suddenly aware that everyone was watching us. To make things even better, my bestest teacher pal, Mrs. Gerstacker, was heading this way. I started shaking, but tried not to show it. I grabbed my tray and headed for the return line. I was vaguely aware of Hailey and Mandy falling in behind me, but more aware of everyone watching us... and Mrs. Gerstacker getting closer and closer.

“Is there a problem, Scotty?” she asked crossly.

“No ma’am. No problem here.” I glanced at Hailey, wondering if she’d make an issue about bullying. She said she’d make a stink, but Mrs. Gerstacker was not the person to do it with.

She looked over to Mandy and Hailey, before speaking in a slightly-less-grumpy way to them. “Girls, is there a problem?”

“No ma’am, just a discussion about some videogame,” Mandy replied in an innocent tone. She shrugged. “Boys, what can you do? We were just leaving.”

“Very well, but I’ve got my eye on you, Scotty.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Like I didn’t know that. I took my tray back to the drop off counter, and left it to be washed and cleaned off to start fresh tomorrow. Too bad I couldn’t also start fresh on Tuesday.

Hailey laid her hand on my arm. “Taylor? I’m sorry I broke up your friendship. I’m just bitchy today. Let’s go back and I’ll apologize. I came here to help you, not make things worse.”

“Don’t. It’s okay. He was never really my friend. You didn’t do anything that I shouldn’t have done years ago.” And that was nothing but the sad truth.

Chapter Seventy-Four

I was incredibly nervous about my first visit with Dr. Yeatts. With her mother’s blessing Hailey had already called Dr. Yeatts last week to discuss her feelings about when she slapped Rick. I hadn’t been present for that phone call, but Hailey thought her old psychologist was the best possible choice for me. While I would trust Hailey with my life, the stakes were so high. I felt like my whole future rested on the outcome of this meeting. It was ever so important for me to make a good impression, and how could I do that in boy mode? Dad had insisted, and Julie had agreed, that I show up as Scott for this first meeting. How was Dr. Yeatts supposed to see the real me when I had it all hidden away?

I expected an office building or at least one of those little business annexes, but Dr. Yeatts worked out of this old wooden two-story house that was painted a bright and happy lemon yellow. Other than the sign in her yard, there was nothing about it that looked like an office. Instead of a lobby she had a little parlor with rocking chairs and toys for younger children. The doctor herself was also a surprise. She looked too young be a doctor and dressed more like a teacher. She had on blue jeans, a nice white blouse and one of those brown professor jackets with the patches on the elbows. I’d never seen a woman in one of those jackets, but it made her look very intellectual. Her glasses only further accentuated her look, as did the way she had her chestnut hair in a chopstick updo. She’d greeted Julie like an old friend, trading hugs with her. She shook my father’s hand while introducing herself to him, and then faced me with a warm smile.

“Taylor, I’m so glad to finally meet you in person. I was hoping I’d get the chance.”

“Thank you.” I forced a smile while wondering just how much she knew about me and how this was going to work.

Fortunately for me, she explained it to all of us without my having to ask. “For insurance purposes I’ll bill this as one hour of individual therapy with Taylor. However, I’d like to actually split the time differently. I want to talk with Taylor first for about twenty minutes or so, then I’d like to talk with both parents together for another twenty minutes. After that I’d like to bring all of us together at the same time to discuss what we’ve learned today. So, Taylor, if you’d follow me.”

I followed and the room we entered looked more like another room of her home than my idea of a psychologist’s office. It was just a sitting area with a few chairs and a couch arranged around a coffee table. Along one wall there were more toys and, surprisingly, an easel with arts supplies stood in the corner. She took a seat and I sat down across from her.

“Taylor, I’ve already heard a little about you from Hailey and Julie. You sound like a very interesting person and I’m looking forward to us getting to know each other better. However, instead of starting with the usual history questions, I’d like to start with what I consider to be a very important question that makes all other questions possible: Do you feel safe?”

That wasn’t how I expected this to start. Although now that I thought about it, I should have expected it. After all, Dr. Yeatts learned about me from Hailey. The time Rick had barged into my room and threatened us had been pretty awful, but things had changed. “Yes, I feel safe. Some bad stuff was going on when Grandma was in charge. The visit by Reverend Miller, and Rick’s threats, and Grandma basically punishing Hailey and me for being transgendered… but that’s in the past. Grandma has backed off, and Rick got scolded. I'll admit Dad did some yelling when he first found out, but he never hit me and he’s softened a bit. I don’t think anyone at home is going to hurt me.”

“At your home? Do you worry about people outside your home hurting you?”

“Well yeah, kids at school mostly. I mean, I wear a bra to school, and that alone could get my ass kicked if word got out. I finally got out of gym class and that’s better, but it still isn’t safe. Especially considering that I’m transgendered and what will happen when I transition.” I thought it was important to get that in there.

“I think you have a legitimate concern, and one we certainly need to explore. We can talk about how to deal with bullies at schools. Other than that, do you have any fears?”

“Yeah, I’ve got one really big fear. I’m scared of being put on testosterone. Doc Buford said it was the normal treatment for Klinefelter's Syndrome and that I should be put on it for several months. That I was under the influence of estrogen, so anything I said about wanting to transition didn’t count until I was on testosterone. It’s scary enough he said that, but I think what is more scary is that Dad seems to be listening to him. Dad said he’ll keep an ‘open mind’, but that means he still hasn’t made a decision yet. I feel safer, but as long as putting me on testosterone is still an option on the table, I’m not safe.”

“Good. We’ll need to talk about that, too. Anything else?”

What? Wasn’t that enough? “I guess I’m scared that everyone will hate me. There are just a few people that have accepted me. Even in my own family, I’m still treated like a freak.”

“That’s certainly one to address. And I think that is enough for us to talk about, at least for now. Before we get to that, though, let me explain why I started out talking about safety and fear. Are you familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of needs?”

“Um, no.”

“Maslow thought that we psychologists spend entirely too much time studying those who have psychological problems. Instead, he looked at what he called exemplary people and tried to figure out what they had right in their lives that let them excel. In the process he built a hierarchy of needs, which others who've built on his work usually represent with a pyramid. At the bottom are the basic things we need in life: food, water, oxygen, and shelter from heat and cold. Higher up on the pyramid are things like self-esteem and self-actualization, becoming the best person you can possibly be. For example, suppose a man had a dream of being a great painter. If he lived on a desert island and had to scramble just to find food to eat, he wouldn’t have much energy left to focus on painting, now would he?”

“No, I guess he wouldn’t.”

“One of the most basic needs is safety. So do you understand why I started with asking you if you felt safe?”

I’d been following the discussion, but now it turned back to me. “Um, I guess it’s because deciding to be a girl instead of a boy is one of those higher needs. I mean if I was starving I’d be scrounging for food, and if I don’t feel safe, then I guess it’s kind of hard to think about wanting to be a girl.”

“Exactly.” She smiled at me. “I want to make sure we first take away your fear for your safety. Then we can discuss what kind of person you want to be when you grow up, and if that person is a boy or a girl.”

That sounded really good, especially since one of my fears was testosterone. “But your hierarchy thingy doesn’t quite work, because by seeking to transition I’m putting myself in more danger. So doesn't that make gender identity a more basic need than safety?”

“My, that’s a very interesting question, Taylor. What do you think?”

Chapter Seventy-Five

I’d felt pretty good about the way my first appointment with Dr. Yeatts had gone. It had been confusing at the start with the talk about fears, but it had made sense after she explained and after talking about my fears it was a lot easier to tell my story. Best of all she promised that she wouldn’t put me on androgens unless I agreed, like that would ever happen. So I was feeling pretty good when I walked out. I even wished we had more time. But that was before she gave me the Girl Test.

She’d handed the Girl Test to me casually and told me not to worry as there were no right or wrong answers, but just to do my best to answer honestly with what I truly felt. That had sounded good, until she left me alone in her cozy living room/waiting room with the Girl Test while she went to talk to my parents. That was when I had a chance to look through it. It looked easy. Only twenty-seven multiple choice questions. However, it was pretty damn obvious from reading those questions what this actually was. This was the Girl Test. If I answered it right, then I was a girl. If I answered wrong then I was just a boy pretending to be a girl. With the sole exception of science, where the questions were always straightforward, I sucked at tests. This one looked just as unfair as all the others. Every single question started off with “In the past twelve months”. Why hadn’t any of the stories I’d read prepared me for the Girl Test?

“In the past 12 months, have you felt satisfied being a boy?
(1) Always; (2) Often; (3) Sometimes; (4) Rarely; (5) Never."

How was that fair?! Since I’d only figured things out a few months ago, was the honest answer Often? Because for nine out of the last twelve months I’d been stupid? But that was the wrong answer. It was obvious the right answer was Never. Yet, I didn’t dare put Never, because Dr. Yeatts knew this was recent. Could I mark it Rarely because even when I had been a boy, I hadn’t been much of a boy? And that was just question one! They were all like that.

There was a question about whether I’d dreamed of being a girl. Well, I’ve had dreams where I was in a dress and had boobs, but I didn’t lift my skirts to check. So did that count? And to be perfectly honest, those dreams were recent. That stupid “in the past twelve months” clause ruined everything. It wasn’t fair to hold it against me that I’d just now gotten smart! Why did it only count if I’d been suffering in silence for more than a year? By the time Dr. Yeatts returned with my parents, I was almost in tears.

“Scott, are you okay?” asked my father.

“My name is Taylor!” I threw that at him, then turned to Dr. Yeatts. “I hope that’s the right answer for that one!”

“Taylor, what’s gotten into you?” asked Julie.

Dr. Yeatts laid a hand on Julie’s shoulder and made a calming gesture to my father. She came over to me and knelt down beside my chair, getting on eye level with me. “Taylor, there are no right or wrong answers to that test. You just have to write what you feel inside.”

“Yes there are! It’s a Girl Test. It’s all to see if I’m a girl or not, and I’m going to flunk it because I always suck at tests, and it’s not fair! I am a girl inside. You saw that before, didn’t you? When we were talking?” I was screwing this up, and I knew it, but somehow I was just so wound up that I could not keep myself from totally freaking out.

“I’m not going to make a diagnosis one way or the other right now. I need to get to know you a lot better to do that, but I’ve already seen a good deal and I’m seeing even more now. Taylor, what kind of grades do you get in school?”

I was crying. When did that happen? I wanted to hide it. Dad was watching me. It was one thing to cry with Hailey; it was another to cry in front of my father. “I get mostly B's. Sometimes A's and sometimes C's.”

“Do you do better on homework or tests?”

“Homework, duh. What does that have to do with anything?”

Dr. Yeatts smiled at me. “A great deal, actually, so please bear with me. How do you do on tests?”

I wiped my tears, although I don't know why I bothered. Dad already knew I was crying. “I suck at them. They’re full of trick questions like the ones you gave me. Can we please, please, just talk?”

“Taylor, I’m not ready to pronounce you a girl today, but I am willing to make one diagnosis already. You have test anxiety.”

“Isn’t that a bit like having an angry fight or a sad funeral? If you have a test, you’re going to be anxious.”

Dr. Yeatts nodded. “True, but not to the extreme you’re showing. Let’s not worry about the test right now. We have more important things to discuss. That test is just a tool and we’ll talk about it another time. Why don’t you take a few minutes to splash some water on your face, and then we’ll talk.”

“Okay, I can do that.” I headed off to the bathroom to clean up.

As I walked away I heard Dr. Yeatts speaking to my parents. “Test anxiety is a very common learning disability, so don’t be overly concerned about it. We can consider various coping mechanisms, and I can also intercede with Taylor’s school to arrange appropriate accommodations.”

I ran some water and washed off my face. So apparently I was learning disabled, after all.

Chapter Seventy-Six

It felt awkward going back in there to face Dr Yeatts and my parents since I had overreacted a good bit, but surprisingly they didn’t make a big deal of it. We just all went back into Dr Yeatts office, and she picked right up where we left off earlier.

“I feel we made a lot of progress today. I pushed the agenda more than I will in later sessions, but we had to put some safety nets in place and I think we've made great strides. The theme of today’s talk was fear, and what we needed to do to feel safe. I’d like us all to share those safety nets. I’ll start. Taylor, I made a promise to you that I won’t recommend that you be put on androgens unless you ask to be put on them.”

And that was oh-so-important to me. That meant I was safe for at least a while because there was no way I was going to ask to be put on androgens. With my body somehow making estrogens, my female puberty was going to continue for the foreseeable future.

“Robert, would you share the safety nets you agreed to put in place?”

My father nodded. “Taylor, we’re not going to force a decision on you. We’re not having you put on androgens, either. I was harsh, and maybe even cruel, when you first told me. I’m sorry for that. I was surprised and I didn’t handle it well. This isn’t easy for me, but I’m not going to force you to be a boy if that really isn’t what you want. We’re also not going to let Grandma or Rick get out of control again. I won’t say that you won’t be punished if you break the rules, but it isn’t acceptable to yell at, or mistreat, you because you’re considering this change in your life. I am worried that you're making a big mistake. Your body is changing and I realize you’re worried about not being able to be a girl. I get that, but I also think your time is running out on your chance to be a boy. This is a huge decision, and you need to think it through–”

“Thank you, Robert.” interrupted Dr. Yeatts. While her tone was polite, it was also firm, like a teacher calling down a student. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but we’re short on time. Your fears are important and legitimate, and Taylor is prepared to address them. Taylor, we talked about your parent’s fears and what kinds of safety nets you could give them. Would you tell them what you said to me earlier?”

Wow. I was a little taken aback by the way Dr. Yeatts had just put my father in place. I’d talked this over with her, though, and it was only fair. In fact, it played right into what my dad had just said, but all eyes were on me. “So… um, I know that your fear is that I’m rushing too fast. I’m going to try to slow down some and be sure about my decision before I take any irreversible steps.”

I had to give them that, but it felt like I was lying. I wasn’t at all sure that I could slow down, but they were promising me no testosterone. I could promise to go slower, at least a little, in return. Maybe. Besides, according to Dr. Yeatts they couldn’t plan my treatment yet anyway, because my diagnosis was incomplete. Until my medical doctors understood why my estrogen was so high, there was no possible way to treat me... or at least no safe ways. Bottom line, I was going through female puberty – and that wasn’t going to change any time soon. For now, that was enough.

Dr Yeatts took control of the conversation again. “Now, you all expressed fear about what transitioning will mean for Taylor in terms of bullying and bigotry. Those are valid fears and we’ll work on those in weeks to come, but for now Taylor is content to present as a boy in public. I would, however, like to see Taylor as a girl next week. After that we’ll see. We’re running short on time, but there are a couple of things left to deal with. First, Robert, you had something to ask Taylor?”

Robert nodded. “Taylor, I’m trying to keep an open mind... but I think that should go both ways. Would you come on a fishing trip with me, as my son, this weekend?”

Ugh, fishing? Yet phrased that way, how could I say no? Did he really think a fishing trip would change anything? “I don’t really like fishing, Dad, but I’ll try.”

“Is there something else that you’d prefer more, Taylor?” asked Dr. Yeatts.

“Well, I like it when we go water skiing, but it isn’t warm enough yet. Maybe camping? Fishing is just so boring.” Camping? Why had I said that? I didn’t really like it that much better.

“We can make it a camping trip. I’d like that.” My dad smiled at me. “Just me and my boy.”

I rolled my eyes, but I’m not sure he noticed. Julie and Dr. Yeatts did, though.

“So, last item, next visits and insurance…” Dr. Yeatts started talking about deductibles, and how she wanted to see me alone every week for an hour. She also wanted to add another hour long family therapy visit, with different family members, for an hour on top of that... at least for the next session or two. I really expected Dad to object, but surprisingly he agreed. I wasn’t looking forward to a camping trip with him this weekend, but I felt I’d gotten a good deal all things considered. Especially when I heard that Dr. Yeatts wanted to see Rick and Hailey next week. That should be interesting.

 

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To Be Continued...