Pussy Catburglar
By Paul Calhoun

A sneak thief sees a movie about a glamorous sexy femme fatale in a movie and starts to wonder whether a beautiful woman would make the best distraction.

A high heeled black boot came into view, followed by a slender leg clothed in tight black leather. The mass of blonde hair did not stir despite the ninety degree tilt of the softly curved body whose black leather catsuit left little to the imagination. Her red painted lips were pursed in an expression of sexy concentration. A quick movement of the arm and she was out of her suspension harness and running down the hall, clutching a priceless artifact and stopping only to spend a minute or so evading guards and stopping to distract one with a long, passionate kiss.

Ned turned the television off and snorted derisively. Crime dramas were always so far off base that he sometimes wondered if he ought to send the writers a politely worded thank-you. After all, some cops actually believed that nonsense and it made his job a lot easier if even federal agents were willing to believe that missing jewelry or artwork was stolen in a daring heist rather than being removed quite easily by more mundane means. After all, no one paid any attention to a five foot four, balding little fellow with a thin mustache. Especially if he was carrying a frame and wearing overalls. A fellow could walk in, pretend to be fixing up an exhibit or cleaning a wealthy socialites’ home and be weeks away before someone noticed that their priceless brooch went ‘klonk’ rather than ‘clink’ when you tapped it, or that the dark bit in ‘Starry Night’ has a tiny red eye at the very top. Ned’s forgers sometimes had more of a sense of humor than was good for them. Not that it was always so easy. It was about fifty-fifty between a genuine nighttime robbery and a seeming inside job. Ned was fit, but he still scoffed at the idea of coming down from the ceiling and running past all those guards. He’d knocked out one or two in his time, but usually it was better to hide than to run.

On the other hand, law enforcement was getting smarter and Ned wasn’t getting any younger. Already there were far too many cameras around than Ned liked to think about and it was only a matter of time before the pattern was recognized. No, Ned thought, there’s no sense in risking any more. He had a nice home and all the comforts he wanted as well as a swimming pool and a small gym in the basement. Better to fade from view than do any more burgling.

This attitude lasted a couple of weeks before Ned was supremely bored and the requests from clients started to pile up. One in particular offered a very nice sum, though the job was well beyond what Ned was willing to risk even when he was at his best. A cursory look at the security arrangements made him smirk. This really was the job for a movie cat burglar, not a small time professional like him. The sort of person who didn’t think that three inch heels were an encumbrance, a person who could somehow walk around in leather without it squeaking on every surface. A well built blonde whose hair didn’t catch the light or get in her face and whose boobs didn’t get in the way despite the obvious lack of support.

As Ned fantasized about this woman, he smiled wider. No, she wouldn’t do for the actual burglary, but what a distraction! The guards would be too busy looking at her bust and bum and the news media would be too busy making sure everyone else did to tip anyone off to the little fellow carrying Fergus Bent’s prized diamond. He turned the thought over in his mind and a strange plan started to form. He knew guys who relied heavily on disguises rather than being nondescript and some of the bank jobs he’d seen them do were almost otherworldly. It’s really hard to admit to a policeman that you’ve just been robbed by a celebrity or — even worse — a cartoon animal. He decided to get in touch with them and see who they used. It was a ridiculous idea, but it was better than spending all day at the golf course.

“Obviously I’m not going to ask what you do or why you want this,” the teenage girl on the phone said, “and likewise you’re not asking me. We both know our business, so let’s get down to it. Do you have the money?”

“Yes,” Ned replied.

“Good. Wire me two thirds and meet me at this address,” Ned wrote it down. “I’ll do the fitting next Tuesday and you can give me the specs for what you want to look like then. It should take about forty-five days. You’re lucky I don’t have anything else on the calendar right now.” She hung up.

Tuesday, Ned arrived at a trendy looking loft studio and was met by a stunning redhead in her mid-twenties. “Before you ask, that was me on the phone,” she said in a mezzo-soprano. “I felt like being younger last week. Well, some clients for my night job did.” She led him to a heavily modified dentists’ chair and spent several minutes fussing with the inclination and height. “OK, so we’ll do your face first. Be warned, it’ll take some time for the stuff to set and you’ll have to have it pretty much all over your head for that period.” Ned wasn’t bothered by the shower cap pulled over his balding scalp, nor by the thick fluid she coated his head with. He got nervous when she stuck the straws up his nose, but she didn’t try to asphyxiate him and was very careful to get all the residue off when she peeled the rubbery substance off him. “I can do the rest of your body by laser and I’ll get a read off your face too just as a backup.” She said. “Modest?”

“Not when it’s business.”

“Good. Everything off and go stand in that thing,” she pointed to what looked like an airport body scanner that had been assimilated by the Borg. At first, the various arms and wands seemed to be just moving around, then they started to emit a pale red light which shaded up to green, then purple. “I scan on several visible frequencies, infrared, ultrasonic…” The young lady said. “For what you’re paying, I can afford to be thorough.” Ned had been cautioned to be as still as possible, so he didn’t reply.
When the machine finished and Ned had dressed, the woman asked, “So, what are we looking at? First, are you going for something completely human?”

“Yes.”

“Sex?”

“Female.”

“Height?”

“Maybe a bit taller than me. I intent to wear high heels.”

“I’ll do something proportional. Speaking of which, what kind of proportions do you want?”

“Slender but with a large rack and a decently padded bottom. I’m going for distracting to others but still able to get around quickly and make it through tight spaces.”

“I can work with that. Hair color?”

“Black.” Ned had considered red or blonde because he preferred them, but black hair had the advantage that if he let it down it wouldn’t be as easy to see in the dark.

“Skin?”

“Fair.”

“Anything else?”

“I think you know better than me what looks good. Plenty of sex appeal. I want the overall effect to be memorable and difficult to resist.”

The woman nodded. “I have a pretty good idea what to do. I’ll call you when I’m done. Make sure you have the rest of the payment when you arrive. Satisfaction is guaranteed, so I’ll give you a tutorial and let you try it out. My clients often like to wear their purchases out the door, so I’ll include a change of clothes. If you like it, I get the other third. Otherwise we’ll see what we can work out. Don’t worry, though. I have a ninety-nine point four two satisfaction rate.”

Ned spent the intervening time in his gym practicing. He didn’t know exactly how the costume he was buying would work, but he was sure he’d have boobs and be wearing high heels, so he shoved a pair of silicone forms into a sports bra, put on a pair of high heeled knee boots and ran his usual obstacle course in them until he felt competent. The first few tries had him wobbling all over the place and more often sprawled on his padded front as the different center of gravity threw him off, but by the time the costume was ready, he felt like he was making progress and that his first attempt at going through the whole course wearing his new purchase would not end in him planting his sexy new face on the mat.

Ned was not surprised when he was met by a smiling young man who looked like he’d just gotten out of college. “This one’s for you.”

Ned arched an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Well, guys usually prefer other guys to help them with their first wearing. Especially our male-to-females. That way if they want a quick lay to check whether the suit works that way, they have a ready partner who knows if something is going wrong even before they do.”

“I don’t think that will be necessary.” Ned hadn’t even considered that possibility! He just wanted to look like a glamourized spy girl so that he could steal even bigger stuff. He followed the suit maker and snuck a look at his butt. It was true that he might have to make out with a guard and he didn’t want to leave and find out later that his disguise wasn’t perfect. He decided he’d play it by ear. His purchase was hanging on a mannequin, giving him a full view of what he was going to look like. In fact, he came close to apologizing to the naked woman in the room for walking in on a fitting.

She was exactly what he meant even if he hadn’t been thinking of anything specific. She was lightly tanned with starling black hair down falling in loose waves to her mid back. Her breasts were at least a D and balanced by lush hips and a slender waist with a flat belly. Her buttocks were just the right roundness as far as Ned was concerned, her lips were inviting and appeared to have a light layer of lipstick already applied and her legs seemed surprisingly long for something he was supposed to be wearing. The man reached behind her and undid something, sliding the skin off of the frame and handing it to Ned. “I can tell you’re impressed already.”

Ned looked down at the flat person he held in his hands. Her skin was so soft and silky. “I hope I fit her.”

“You will. Just take everything off and I’ll help you into her.” When Ned was naked, the man showed him the catch in her groin. “You pull everything through here. Like this.” Ned held still while the man slipped the skin down over him, first making sure that the mask was situated over all the right openings and there were no wrinkles. He explained each stage of the process so that Ned could do it himself at home, having had him raise his arms as the suit went on, he tugged the wrists and elbows to get that done right and had him wiggle to help it go over his chest and belly. Ned got his first feel of his new rear as he sat to get his legs in and found his new behind very comfy. His new feet seemed so petite with their painted toenails and slender ankles. The suit was squeezing him all over and got even less comfortable as did as instructed and tucked his male parts up and into a compartment, then pulled the gusset over his crotch and latched his new body closed. He sat for a few minutes, making conversation in his new, sexy contralto. As the suit warmed up, it tightened all over but so slowly that he never felt really uncomfortable.

“OK, you can stand up now.” The man said, looking at a wall clock.

Ned got up quickly and blushed inside his mask when his boobs bounced and he automatically reached up and grabbed them. The man just smiled pleasantly and wheeled over a tall mirror. “It’s helpful to get used to how the costume behaves when you move in it.” He said. “Walk, run, spin, jump, whatever. Get comfortable with it.”

Ned was shy at first even though it wasn’t really his body he was putting on display as he bounced, twirled and bent in various places to get a better view of her body. She found herself blowing upwards and brushing her hair out of her eyes and she gratefully accepted an offer of a scrunchie. Ned was getting a feel for his new body and was helped by the practice he’d put in earlier. He was so engrossed in staring at his nude female appearance that he didn’t see the man leave or come back until he was presented with a pile of clothes. “Here you go, sir. These will fit you if you want to see how you look in an outfit and wear the suit out.”

Ned took the garments. Pulling a pair of panties on looked and felt sexier than he’d expected and he was red under the mask from resisting the urge to squeeze his pinned penis. The man had to help him with the bra, which was of a more traditional hook style than the one he’d bought for practicing in. On top of that went a red sun dress with a short pink skirt. Ned couldn’t help but swish it around a little to feel it whisper against his slender, smooth legs. A pair of high heeled sandals completed the outfit and he noticed that the man looked a little impressed that he took to them as easily as he did. His new body wasn’t so different from his ad-hoc practice wear.

“It’s perfect.” She said to the man. “I feel like I ought to be paying extra.”

“Well, most of my night clients prefer women and I always enjoy teaching a new lady how a man should treat her.” The suit maker smiled winningly.

“Sex? I know you said I could, but I still can’t believe it.” Ned was getting turned on by his body and voice, though. Having complete control of that contralto and those legs, not to mention all her other assets, made him less guarded than he usually was.

“I wouldn’t sell anything that didn’t do everything advertised!” The man said. “And I can’t be sure it’s perfect without trying. I’d had to have you come back dissatisfied.”

Ned smiled, noting through a sidelong glance how warm and attractive it made her look. “All right.” She held out a hand, which the man took. “I assume you have a comfortable setting ready.”

“Of course.” Ned allowed himself to be taken to a room with warm wood paneling, a large bed with a thick duvet and high quality carpeting. The man closed the door behind them and gently pushed Ned down onto the bed. “Now, a quick shag is complimentary and part of making sure everything works. Your new breasts should be quite sensitive,” he eased one out of Ned’s bra — Ned was again aware of their weight as part of it was removed - and licked the nipple. Ned’s breath caught at the feeling of pleasure in a strange new place. “Also, your clitoris and vaginal area should stimulate the correct parts of your internal male anatomy.” He reached under Ned’s skirt and squeezed. Ned felt a very pleasant sensation in his crotch. “Penetration can be a very odd thing for a first timer, so let me know if you need me to go more slowly.”

“Actually,” Ned breathed. “I wouldn’t mind if you also helped me with my feminine behavior.”

“That’s extra.”

“I’ll pay.”

The man abruptly stood up. “We’d better do that first, then. It’ll be more pleasurable for both of us if you are a woman in how you act as well as how you look. I’ll be right back.” He left Ned breathing hard and barely able to sit up. He hadn’t been so affected by sex in years and was sorely tempted to put a slender finger into his new privates to see what the costumer was talking about. He fought down his arousal and got up. He’d have to have his wits if he wanted to learn everything he could about using this body to its best potential. It was costing him dearly already to own it and he was going to be the best red herring he could be!

He was still stunned when a copy of his new female body walked through the door, wearing exactly what he was wearing and pulling a wheeled suitcase behind her. His twin smiled brightly, “It’s best to tailor a lesson to the pupil, right?” She leaned out the door and pulled the mirror on its wheels into the room. “Now look at yourself and look at me. Who are you more attracted to?”

Ned glanced at his reflection with his twin standing next to him. His first thought was to say, “We’re the same, so I’m attracted equally.” His visceral instinct, however, made him stare at the reflection of his twin rather than at himself. “You.” He said.

“It’s all in the attitude,” the twin said. “You’re good on heels, but you still stand like a man who got used to heels. Your legs are too far apart, you’re letting your chest drag you down and you haven’t gotten used to simulating a female internal anatomy. The heels make you swing a little, but even without them you should be taking different steps. Here, let’s work on posture first.”

Ned couldn’t help but be constantly turned on by the sight of his twin showing him how to be more ladylike, especially when she would gently nudge his hip, butt or chest to get him into the correct place. They worked on how to stand in heels and out of them. During the course of this, Ned realized that though he was a short man, the costume’s slim legs and his normal height gave him the appearance of a taller woman.

When his twin was satisfied that he would still appear ladylike even when he was doing something else, she moved on to how he should walk, again both wearing shoes and barefoot. “If you’re trying to seduce someone, you can put a little extra roll into it, but be very subtle. It’s easy to go too far and look drunk.” She demonstrated and Ned tried the mimic her. “Not bad,” she said, “try again.” This time she put her hands on Ned’s hips and guided his motion. “Now try it without me. Great. OK, so we’ve done posture and walk. Let’s do gestures.” She showed him how and when to put his hand over his mouth and how to seem graceful in any movement. They went on to poses and finally she said, “I brought some extra clothes. What we’ll do now is practice putting them on and taking them off in various settings. There’s not much better than a well done strip tease to get a partner in the mood, but you also need to know how to get into your clothes as quickly as possible. There’s nothing like struggling with your lingerie to tip someone off to the fact that you may not have been wearing foundation garments for most of your life. Naturally, we’ll also practice the makeup that goes with each outfit.”

When he’d demonstrated that he could dress, undress and make himself up, they moved on to conversation. “For the most part, you can talk like you always do. Remember, though, that when flirting it’s more about how you say things than what you say. As you may have guessed from our practice so far, most men won’t look past an innocently nibbled lip and a bright smile.”

By the end of this, Ned realized that whenever he glanced over at the mirror, it was becoming harder and harder to pick between the two dark haired lovelies reflected in it. Somewhere along the line he’d gone from a man who looked like an attractive female to a woman who just happened to be a man in a costume. That was when his twin handed him a pair of sheer lingerie and began putting on an identical set. “Now to one of the fastest ways you can completely scramble a bloke’s mind. Having him walk in to find you arrayed invitingly on the bed in something which is even sexier than nothing at all. Now lie down next to me and we’ll practice various inviting poses and what to say when someone walks in while you’re wearing them.”

“You’re doing very well,” his twin said a few wardrobe changes later. She snuggled up to him on the bed and wrapped her arms around his waist. “You’ve got the appearances down well enough to fool most men and you’ll be OK with women if you aren’t too obvious around them and take some time to get a bit of experience under your garter. Now, you still have a complimentary shag to make sure everything’s working right. Are you up for it?”

Ned turned so that they were facing each other, their chests pressed together and their faces less than an inch apart. “Well,” he said in the little girl voice his twin had taught him, “I don’t know.” He pouted and regarded his twin through his eyelashes. “It’s all fun practicing with you, but I’m not sure I’m ready for sex with a big strong man.”

His twin laughed and sat up. “That was very good. Enough to have gotten the average straight guy who wasn’t the one who taught you how to flirt wrapped round your finger in no time. Seriously, though, I understand if you want to stop now. We haven’t done anything other than appearances and if that’s all you’re interested in, you can take the outfit your suit came with and get going because you’ll do fine in any setting other than an intimate one.”

“And I’m really not sure,” Ned replied earnestly. “I don’t intend to do anything than look gorgeous and flirt, but matters might get complicated.”

“How about this, then? You keep clear of making out and sex for now and if you change your mind, you know how to contact me. I mean, you look young enough in that to get away with claiming you’re a virgin, but you’re still a man in a costume. When the time comes to kiss another man, you might find it harder than you think.”

“Actually,” Ned said, thinking about the heist he had planned. “Kissing might be necessary.”

“I’ll go change.”

His twin was presently replaced with the man who’d met him at the door and helped him into the suit. “You’re straight, I take it.”

Ned nodded. “Yeah. I’ve thought about it once or twice, but I’ve never been attracted to males.”

“Then it’s time to acquire the taste. It’ll be easier like this because you can always look at us doing it in that mirror and think of it as a man and a woman kissing rather than you kissing a man.” He put one hand on Ned’s leg — on the skirt rather than under it — and the other on his shoulder. “Now if I lean in, will you…” Ned had trouble relaxing as the costumer’s lips met his. He closed his eyes and remembered that he was a really hot girl kissing a pretty good looking guy. Several pecks later, he even had his mouth open and it wasn’t more than half an hour before they were in a passionate embrace.

“Good enough?” The costumer asked, coming up for breath.

“I think that will do for now.” Ned replied, smiling prettily as he’d been taught.

“Then good luck!”

Ned was glad to have had the training, as the walk back to his car was over a block and he felt far more confident in his disguise than he would have just wearing the suit and walking around in it. Even that short trip had him smiling at a man across the street who he could tell had slowed down to check him out and swishing his skirt a little extra when he passed a neighbor’s boy who he knew had low confidence with women. He was halfway home when he realized how stupid he’d been. If a cop had pulled him over, what was he going to say? Ned had made a career out of being low profile and he’d almost blown it just because he was enjoying his new buy! Then he laughed to himself. He’d have just flirted out of the ticket and proved he was a proper femme fatale!

Ned wanted to get used to the suit, so he left it on when he got home. He changed into sweat pants and a T-shirt, then did chores, made dinner, bathed and went to bed all as a slim, sexy woman. It took him awhile to fall asleep with his penis pinned between his legs and the extra weight on his chest. It got him to thinking that if he was going to take the time to get used to his new body, he ought to go out and get something to wear while in it. He decided that he’d spend the next day buying a proper wardrobe.

Ned spent the next week alternating between wearing the suit for a day and then spending a day out of it. Most times he was in, he trained for the job he’d bought it for and went to bars to perfect his technique. He found that it wasn’t hard at all to get men to buy him drinks and he worked out that at his current rate of consumption, the suit would pay for itself inside five years. The thought made him giggle in his contralto and flick his hair back in a gesture that he loved to use on the bar flies. No matter what happened, the costume was a worthwhile investment for that and for the entertainment of hearing all the compliments he got as a woman and the talk in the bars on the nights he went in as himself and heard about ‘that woman.’

It was one of his female days when Ned was out on the patio in a bikini sunning himself. He liked to relax outside and though it was a great day for a swim, he didn’t own a water heater and the cold pool water would have caused his costume to loosen. He had a high fence so no one was likely to see his female form taking some time out from training. Ned was almost asleep when he heard a shout from outside, “Ned? Are you home?” It was Reg, the young man from next door whom Ned had seen on his way out from the costumer’s on his first day as a female. Reg was a high school senior and often dropped in on Ned for dinner and a conversation along with his parents. Ned was good friends with all three and with several of his neighbors. It never hurt to have a few character witnesses who would be willing to swear under oath that Ned was a fine and upstanding member of the community. In fact, Ned had been helping Reg with some confidence issues lately. It wasn’t that Reg was bad looking, but he was a social washout and tended to get tongue tied when dealing with girls of the same age as him.

Weighing his options, Ned knew there was only one thing to do. He’d forgotten that he’d promised Reg he’d have lunch with him that day and there was no time to change out of his female suit. Besides, it would kill two birds with one stone if his female persona became known in the neighborhood as that nice girl dating Reg and it would do Reg no end of good to have a patient, pretty and willing female companion. “The gate is unlocked,” he called.

Reg walked in silently and looked ready to bolt when he caught sight of Ned. Ned rolled over on his chest, propped himself up on his elbows and looked up and Reg. If the bikini had been any less tight, Reg would have seen Ned’s nipples. The vision of a slim, dark haired young lady displaying herself like that left Reg totally speechless. Ned smiled and said, “I’m sorry, are you looking for my father?”

“Uh, father?” Reg asked, gulping just to get that one word out.

“Yes. I’m Ned’s daughter. He must have told you about me.”

“Uh, no.”

“Oh,” Ned pursed his lips for a moment as if in thought and then said brightly, “Well, here I am! You probably haven’t seen me much because I’ve been away at college for the last year.”

“Uh, sure.”

Ned smiled again as brightly as he could. “Dad’s out right now, but he said you’d be coming. He left the meal he was going to make if you don’t mind having lunch with me.”

That got Reg’s attention. “I would!” He said a bit too quickly.

“Then that’s settled. You come in and I’ll go put something more social on. You must think I’m a total airhead for losing track of the time like that!”

“Not at all.” Reg replied. “I’m sure it could happen to anybody.”

‘Anybody with my body, you mean.’ Ned thought. ‘That’s exactly what happened after all. It’s just too fun having this figure to play around in.’ He held out a hand. “I’m Kelly.”

Reg stared at it for a moment before realizing what Kelley wanted. He shook her hand. “Reg.”

“Yes, I know,” she teased, smiling at him over her shoulder before going inside. He didn’t have to, but he wiggled his bottom a little just to make sure Reg followed closely. He snuck a glance back and was gratified by the sight of Ned staring at his ass and grinning. He may have been objectifying a woman, but he was also yet more proof that Ned’s disguise worked as beautifully to fool someone he saw most days as his disguise’s butt was to keep him flustered.

Kelly took her time switching out of the bikini and into casual day clothes. Ned might have been tempted to use the swimsuit as underwear, but Kelly wasn’t going to mix swimwear and undergarments. She did opt for a push-up bra and a thong so that the V-cut T-shirt had maximum cleavage and her jeans didn’t show a panty line. The first time she’d worn a thong — under a very short miniskirt when she was still convinced she needed to show lots of skin to get free drinks — Ned’s trapped penis had felt like it was going to burst out of its place between her legs. Now she just looked approvingly at her unmarred denim-clad rear to make sure it looked right. She skipped footwear since she was in her own house but did go for a little mascara and lip gloss. She wanted to be casual, but she was also doing her best to make the impression she needed to have Reg as a consistent alibi.

Reg looked up sharply as she walked in and Ned realized that Kelly may have her work cut out for her. The poor boy looked ready to bolt as the vision of loveliness pulled out a chair and sat down. As the meal progressed, Ned despaired of getting more than a word or two at a time out of the stricken youngster. Finally he decided to take more of the initiative and rested a hand on one of Reg’s . “You’re so shy!” She exclaimed. “Really, you don’t need to be afraid of me.”

“Well, uh, you’re just so beautiful and I have trouble talking to girls and…” Reg trailed off, blushing.

Kelly laughed. “Don’t think of me as a beautiful girl, then. Just as another person who you’re having lunch with. Thank you for the compliment, but you really don’t have to be worried. My father’s told me so much about you and it would be a shame if we couldn’t carry on what I’m sure would be a great conversation because I’m making you nervous.” She smiled and tried to look reassuring, squeezing his hand.

Reg took a deep breath but seemed to be steeling himself. “You’re right.”

“Good.” Kelly got up. “Why don’t we move to the living room?” She knew what she was about to do was naughty and would probably not make Reg any more comfortable, but she wanted to see how he’d react. She let him go ahead of her and when he took his usual spot on the couch, she sat down right next to him. “There. Now we can talk.”

Reg was surprisingly articulate and though Ned had been ready to apologize and act embarrassed, he instead found himself leaning in and talking animatedly. In fact, his feminine persona began to slip since Kelly would never have let herself get so close to a young man so quickly. Not that Reg took advantage of the situation. When he left, Ned realized that he hadn’t even tried to put his arm around him. Kelly smiled a soft, contented smile. She didn’t mind a bit of chivalry from her number one mark — love interest, that was. It just meant that she’d have plenty of time to get to the costumer for some tips if things began to look hopeful.

It was game night and Kelly thought she looked more like a Disney princess than a jewel thief. In fact, the dress she had on was pretty much the full Cinderella with its full skirt, light blue satin overskirt and long sleeves. Of course, Cinderella probably didn’t wear a black lycra and spandex bodysuit underneath her dress. One that showed quite clearly that she wasn’t wearing anything underneath that and which clung to her so closely that when she walked, she could see each buttock quite clearly. She also wasn’t likely to have a pair of leather gloves down her dress nor a hood carefully stowed in the bodice and she definitely wasn’t the sort to leave the glass slippers at home in favor of leather knee-high boots with three inch heels. By the end of the night, however, this Cindrella would be properly blonde, though.

Ned had gotten an invitation from one of the connections who’d given him the assignment in the first place. The plan was pretty simple. Pretend to be a high society dame, mix, mingle and scope out the place. The hem of the skirt had a hidden zipper that converted the ball gown into a large, well padded sack which would be soft on the inside and prevent the items in question from being scuffed or damaged. The dress was lined in black so that when it was turned inside-out, it would be as difficult to make out as he would be in his bodysuit and hood. When the party wound down, he’d hide and wait for the guards to go on duty. Then shed the dress, go out, get the stuff and get going. If anyone caught him before he changed, he’d claim he was looking for the restroom and had gotten lost. The mansion looked big enough for that.

He’d booked a limousine to take him to the party and when it pulled up — naturally he’d driven somewhere else first and had them pick him up there — the driver looked appreciatively at the elegant young lady who was to be his fare. When a middle aged male voice had booked, he’d been resigned to yet another businessman. This looked promising.

Ned, however, thought that his gown was ridiculous. He hadn’t worried so much before, but now that he had to slide into a limo — even though the driver was very conscientious about holding the door — he realized that the skirts were a little much. No matter how she tried, Kelly couldn’t help but flash an unseemly amount of petticoat at the driver. She smiled and waved at him every time she caught him looking at her in the rear view mirror, though privately Ned wondered if the driver was going to plow into anything with the amount of attention he seemed to be giving his passenger.

Ned had no interest in being noticed at the party, so he was relieved to see that all of the other attractive females were showing far more skin than Kelly was. He also moderated her behavior and only flirted lightly with the few men she ended up conversing with. When she overheard one of the other ladies wondering who the prude was and a man saying she must have come from a very proper background, she almost giggled. Good, this was the part where she blended in. It wasn’t until later that she was to turn on the charm.

In fact, the lack of interest she was getting made it far easier to look around. Ned had been brought in to steal a few of the owner’s display pieces. From the pay, it was pretty obvious that the customer was going for revenge rather than commercial gain and that was fine with Ned. It meant every single thing he was after was right there in plain sight. A large ruby in a glass case, a small rug with spotlights on it on the wall and a ceramic figurine. The last one was the reason Ned was glad for the thick padding Kelly’s petticoats would afford. It wouldn’t do to damage what he was taking. Theft was one thing, but he drew the line at vandalism.

As the party wound down, Kelly waited until one of the showier young ladies walked past a guard and while he was looking at her, Kelly ducked past him and found a guest room that looked unused. She went a step further and locked herself in the bathroom, giving herself the excuse Ned had been planning for. She then sat down to wait for the house to go from party mode to the guarded peacefulness of the master in residence with no company. She removed a book from her purse and began to read, letting two hours pass before she undid the ties around her arms, waist and bodice, letting the dress fall with a rustle to the floor. She tugged the legs and arms of her bodysuit into their proper places, pulled on the gloves and turned the gown inside out to make it into her swag bag. The first thing into it was her purse.

Kelly was about to pull the hood up over her face when she saw herself reflected in the door mirror. A gloved hand strayed down to her crotch while the other massaged a breast. She was just so sexy that Ned wanted to masturbate to her reflection right there. She bit her lip and though the pain helped, the sight of a white tooth on the lips still red with Kelly’s evening makeup turned him back on. He gave some serious thought to the issue and decided against it. Though the sexiness might distract him at first, it would give Kelly an edge if she had to ‘distract’ a guard. She’d be far more effective with that tone of suppressed lust in her voice. She also knew that she’d have plenty of time to admire the firm, lycra clad butt, feminine bump in front and curvy figure when she got home. That was the problem with using such an effective method, Ned thought. There was a lot of splashback on the operator.

Kelly pulled the hood over her head, covering her forehead and cheeks, but leaving a generous portion around her eyes, lips and ears bare. She hadn’t been sure about having a hole in the back to let her hair out, but seeing the effect of the black mass spilling out behind her, she knew she’d made the right choice. It was still reflective, but would be worth it if she bumped into a guard. Ned had to admit it at this point. She really wanted to bump into a guard.

When she’d seen the ruby in a glass case, she’d wished so hard that she could have had some sort of pulley and harness system. It would have been impossible to set up and take down and wouldn’t have helped in the least but it would have made her look so awesome! Instead, she walked within a few feet of it, checked for security features and calmly disabled them. Automatic stuff was easy; it was the human factor that made this kind of burglary hard. She knew that there was a camera looking right at her, but decided against waving at it. There should be someone already on the way.

She had the rug in her gown bag and was undoing the final catch on the figurine when she heard the guard coming. It was only one set of footsteps. Perfect. She tucked the ceramic horse into her bag and turned just as an older man with a thin combover and a rumpled uniform rounded the corner. The owner looked like the sort to have only one guy on duty and rely on the automatic system to call the police when there was any real trouble. In fact, they were likely on their way if this fellow was here to confront her. Standard procedure. She had maybe five minutes.

The guard had gotten a very clear view of her rear as she bent to get the figurine and was the target of a friendly smile when Kelly saw that he’d stopped in his tracks. “Good evening,” she said.

“Stay right where you are and keep your hands where I can see them.”

“Now is that necessary?” Kelly replied, sauntering over to him.

“I must warn you, don’t move any closer-“ the guard’s jaw snapped shut as Kelly ran a delicate finger along his chin.

“Now is that any way to talk to a lady?” She asked. The sexual desire which had been banked flared up as her swinging hips led to her false groin massaging her real male anatomy. She was further thrilled when she saw that rather than looking at her hands, the guard was staring at the stiff nipples poking through the lycra bodysuit.

The guard seemed to recover slightly and said, “The police will be here in two minutes. I advise you to come quietly.”

“A pity. I usually come quite loudly.” She said. It had sounded better in her head than it did when she said it, but Kellys’ voice made any come on work. “Two minutes is plenty of time for me to do what I want with a big man like you.” While she was breathing into his face, she aimed a quick blow to his solar plexus and jabbed him with a mild sedative. He was awake just long enough for her to pull off her mask, give him a deep kiss and to see her retreating bottom go out the window she’d disabled earlier that night. She even gave him a last wiggle as she slipped through to make sure that he remembered her body better than anything else.

The approaching sirens meant a group and that meant more trouble than she could handle. Ned had planned for this and was well away on a route he’d planned the week before. When he was sure there was no pursuit, Ned transferred the loot to Kelly’s purse, tearing some of the petticoat to make a secure wrapping for the fragile items. She slipped back into the gown — still inside out so that it appeared to be a black dress with a thick ruffle — took off her gloves and made her way to a pick up point where Ned had arranged for transport from someone who didn’t ask questions. Just to be sure, Kelly tucked her hair into a wig cap and put on a long blonde wig in an expensive looking style. To the driver of the beat up sedan she got into, she looked like nothing more than the wild brat of some rich guy using a contact of his to get away from him for a night. To cement the impression, Ned had parked his car outside one of the city’s most expensive and fashionable night clubs. “The Gothic Cathedral,” she told the driver.

“Whatever you say, doll face.” The driver said.

Kelly turned on the news the moment she closed her front door. As she put the goods in a safe, she saw that her exploits were already breaking and looked to be something the outlets would be talking about for days. At least, until her next job when she decided she’d do something that would get them going for weeks. Ned didn’t like attention, but Kelly was made for it. She caught the words ‘daring’ and ‘femme fatale’ and ‘right out of a movie.’ She turned the TV off. It was time to enjoy a long, slow look at herself and after that … well, naturally she needed to go to bed but then she was going to see about getting a date with Reg. Sexy burglar, debutante, girl next door and regular who didn’t mind dressing to get a free drink. All identical and yet no one was making the connection. Ned hadn’t had so much fun in years. The costumer was right. It was all in the attitude.