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Edited by S.L.Hawke
Image Copyright © 2012 Tracey Willows

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The Taylor Project
 

Chapter Fifty-Five

Julie spoke up breaking the silence that had fallen after Grandma’s departure. “As long as we are all gathered here together, we need to talk about some other details as a family. Hailey and I will be moving in permanently; although we’re not entirely sure how that will happen yet. Hailey, we need to talk about where you will go to school. I’m planning to keep my job at the bank in Whistlestop. That means I can take you with me in the mornings, and you can keep going to school in Whistlestop for now, if you want. We can try to stretch that out for a while, but at the latest you’ll be starting your freshman year at Pine Hill. I think it would be a good idea to do it even sooner than that, though. Do you have an opinion?”

God I loved how Julie treated Hailey, laying out the facts and letting her have a voice.

Hailey smiled. “I’ve had a few days to think about it. I’ll miss my friends in Whistlestop, but Taylor is my sister and she’s going through a difficult time right now. She needs me more than they do. It’s good for me, too. I’ll get the new girl thing over now, in junior high instead of having to deal with that while starting high school.”

I frowned. “Hailey, you don’t have to give up your friends for me.”

“I’m not. Whistlestop is only a thirty minute drive. I can still see them. Plus there is Facebook, texting and the phone. I can stay in touch.” She turned to her mom. “I’d like to start as soon as possible.”

Her mom looked thoughtful. “I’ll have to find out what has to be done to transfer you then. The school asks me for a utility bill every year as proof of residency. Hopefully they’ll take our Mexican marriage certificate. We’ll probably need your shot records and transcripts. I’ve never done this before, and I have a lot of other things to handle. I’ll try to get it done this week.”

Watching the two of them work it out was so refreshing. I was used to a little dictatorship. Dad decided, while Rick and I obeyed. Julie and Hailey had a different dynamic. Julie had clearly been in charge, but she’d treated Hailey like a little adult, giving her the facts, asking and respecting her opinions. Why couldn’t my family be like that? Or maybe that's what the family meeting had been supposed to be like, but it had felt terribly harsh compared to what I’d just witnessed.

Julie was talking again. “After dinner we’ll drive out to Whistlestop so we can pack up enough clothes to get through a week, and check up on Mousey Tongue. We’ll probably be making a lot of trips back and forth for a while to pack up and move out. When we’ve got all the small stuff moved, we’ll rent a U-haul and move the big stuff. So you’ll be in temporary quarters for a week or two, Hailey.”

“The big stuff?” Rick asked our father. “How're we gonna fit all their furniture in our home?”

“We’ll move Hailey’s stuff to her room. The rest… well, we’ll mix and match. Julie, you had some ideas about that?”

Julie nodded. “Actually we’ll be keeping most of your furniture. Overall, it's in better condition than mine. Plus, even if we treat our furniture, I don’t know if we can get the cat dander completely out of the upholstery. That could be a problem with Scotty. There are some pieces that I know we want to keep, like I just had to buy a new fridge a little while ago when our old one died. It’s going to take time for me to go through all our stuff to decide what we keep and what we sell.”

Rick didn’t look pleased, but he nodded. I really didn’t care that much about furniture, but I was happy that Julie was taking cat dander into account. Even better, something besides my transition seemed to have taken center stage.

“So, if there are no other questions?” Dad looked around. “Good. This family meeting is over. We’ve got a lot to work out with merging our families and with Scott’s-” He caught himself and sighed. “I mean Taylor’s issues. So we may have others later, but that’s all for now.”

Julie rose. “I’d best get dinner on. Hailey, come lend me a hand.” She turned to me. “Taylor, would you like to help?”

“Sure!” I sprang up excitedly. This was big. Grandma had sometimes drafted Hailey to help cook, but had pointedly snubbed me. Julie was moving beyond just words to actually accepting me as female. I felt such a great surge of gratitude well up inside me that it almost spilled over into tears.

Dad sighed. “You sure you want to cook, Juliette? We can eat out.”

“I’ve got this, Romeo.” She stepped up to Dad and they traded short kisses before she headed for the kitchen.

Chapter Fifty-Six

Dad took Rick off to the side and they went for a ‘walk’, which was actually Dad-speak for having a little talk. I wondered what would be said, but Dad had backed off on the ‘just say no’ approach. Anyway, I was more excited at my sudden change of status. I was being admitted to the kitchen. Not that Dad never cooked or that I’d never helped before, but with my gender front and center this was a deliberate choice by Julie.

“Hailey, Taylor, would you go ahead and set the table?” She opened the fridge and poked about. “Hmm, looks like it’s going to be pork chops. Hailey, what do you want with porkchops?”

“Mac and cheese,” cried Hailey with childish glee.

“Really?” asked Julie. I don’t know why she was surprised. With Hailey mac n’ cheese was predictable.

“Yes, mac and cheese goes with anything. Besides, we need a carb don’t we?”

“Fine, but you’re making it. Taylor what goes with pork chops and mac ‘n cheese?”

“Umm…” Was this a girl test? I couldn’t cook. I stalled trying to remember what Grandma made with pork chops. “Potatoes and rolls?”

Julie pulled a bag out of frozen dinner rolls out of the freezer. “I guess we can have rolls, since I just found this bag, but we’re not having three starches with one meal. I’m going to make some changes in the eating habits around here. Pick a veggie.”

“Okay, green beans?” That went with pork chops, right?

“Fine, get two cans from the pantry and reheat them. Hailey, another veggie.”

“Broccoli?”

Julie gave an approving nod. “Much better choice, I saw some in the freezer. You girls…” Her eyes flicked over to me and she frowned briefly. “…you girls, get the sides. I’ll broil the porkchops.”

She might have stumbled over calling me a girl, but it still felt like Julie was treating me as one. I got the green beans. Even I knew how to open two cans, dump them into a pot and set them to boil. Only to find out I was wrong. Julie gently corrected me, and explained that we wanted to time everything to be done at once. My pot of green beans only needed to be reheated and could wait. The priority should be getting the pork chops to broiling and to boil the water for the mac and cheese. Hailey had already started that. With three of us working together, we quickly reached a point where everything was cooking and only needed a minimum of attention.

“Julie? I just want to say thank you. For everything. Letting me help in the kitchen and treating me like a girl, but most of all whatever you said to my dad that made him change his mind about me.”

“You’re welcome, but you’re giving me too much credit and your father too little. He’s a good man, Taylor, and he regretted losing his temper even before I talked to him.”

“Somehow I have trouble believing that.”

“He did. Your father is a good man. I wouldn’t have married him if he wasn’t, and he has strong convictions. A man who won’t stand up for his principles isn’t much of a man at all, but it takes a stronger man to swallow his pride and admit he was wrong. You took him by surprise and he let his prejudices speak for him, but you’re still in skirts aren’t you?”

There was no arguing that point. Not only was I in skirts, but I was helping in the kitchen. Dad had done a one-eighty. I was still convinced that Julie was greatly responsible, but something else had been going on based on how he’d jumped on Grandma. “Julie, what happened with Aunt Dee Dee?”

“Hmm…” She paused and glanced at the stove. “Hailey, your water is boiling. You going to cook that macaroni?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Hailey hurriedly poured the noodles into the boiling water, and stirred them for a bit to keep them from clumping together.

Julie looked back to me and sighed. “It’s not really my place to say, but your father has enough to deal with and I don’t want you pestering Dee Dee about it on Tuesday when she comes to dinner.”

“Aunt Dee Dee is coming here for dinner?” We saw my aunt maybe four or five times a year, usually on holidays. She’d never driven up on a weekday before just for dinner. “Is this because of me?”

“No.” Julie broke into a friendly laugh and shook her head. “Your father and I just got married, remember. She’s coming up to congratulate us and to meet me.”

“On a Tuesday evening?” I blushed as I realized that I must have sounded like Emperor Kuzco, thinking that everything was about me.

“Your aunt works weekends, and she wanted to meet me.” Julie shrugged. “It seemed like a good idea this morning when we talked to her, but I didn’t realize we’re almost out of food. I’m going to have to fit in a grocery trip between now and then. I’m not putting a dinner together for my new sister-in-law out of odds and ends.”

I realized that we’d drifted off-topic. “Okay, so what did happen to Aunt Dee Dee?”

She sighed again, pausing her dinner preparations for a long moment while she solemnly looked me straight in the eyes. “This happened years ago, before you were even born, back when your aunt was in high school. She made a mistake, one that has happened to thousands of other teenaged girls. She got pregnant. I think Betty might have forgiven that, but your aunt also had an abortion – do you know what that is?"

I merely nodded in confirmation. Of course, I knew what an abortion was and it didn’t take a genius to see where this was heading. Along with being anti-gay anything Grandma was prolife.

At my nod she continued, "Your grandparents found out. Your grandfather wasn’t happy, but he was able to forgive. Apparently Betty wouldn’t let it drop. She badgered Dee Dee so much that she left home.”

Wow! That explained so much. Aunt Dee Dee and Grandma barely got along at all. They were polite to each other, but I’d always sensed some feud between them. Thinking about it stirred dim memories of Aunt Dee Dee being around a lot more when I was little and we lived out by Dallas. When Grandpa’s got sick four years ago and we moved out here, she’d stopped coming by as often. I thought it was just the distance, but maybe it had more to do with us moving next door to Grandma. Although it didn’t explain why Julie knew this about Aunt Dee Dee and I didn’t. I’d been born to this family. She was still… new.

“So she ran away?” asked Hailey. “Is that why Robert jumped all over Grandma?”

“Yes and no.” Julie made a quibbling motion with her hand. “That is why Rob was so angry with Betty, but Dee Dee technically didn’t run away. She hadn’t graduated from high school yet, but she was over eighteen. So she was legally an adult when she left home.”

I nodded in understanding as the pieces fit together. Aunt Dee Dee hadn’t been in quite the same situation as me, but at least I understood why Dad could be so passionate about meeting me halfway while he clearly didn’t approve. “Julie? You never took a turn to speak earlier. Do you approve of me?”

“I said my piece. I am trying to keep an open mind, Taylor.” She looked me over and I could feel her eyes taking in the way I was dressed. “I never really had a chance to get to know you before, and this is a lot to take in. I’m just not sure yet. I want to read up about this trans-stuff first. I want you to see a doctor and a therapist; I want to know what they think. Hailey also challenged me to open my eyes and watch you. I’m trying that, so give me some time, okay?”

“Okay.” That slipped out in a small voice and was harder to say than it should have been. My heart sank within me at her qualified response – definitely not what I had hoped to hear. While her answer sounded good, there was something in her delivery that made me feel like she didn’t really approve.

“Hey.” Hailey poked me in the ribs with a finger. “I had a question from all that. What’s written on your grandfather’s headstone, anyway?”

“Oh, that.” That was an easy question, but it meant a lot more in light of what Julie had revealed about Aunt Dee Dee. I just didn’t know if it meant enough. “Just two words: Family first.”

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Monday, March 18th — Taylor Project Day 77

It was weird going back to school today. With everything that happened it felt like I’d been gone all summer long and not just for spring break. It felt good waking up in Taylor mode, but I then had to hide her away. I couldn’t even wear panties or have painted toes because of gym class. In hindsight, I should have asked Doc Buford for a note excusing me from gym. Even without the test results to say whether or not I have Klinefelter's, he should have been able to give me an excuse just for gynecomastia. He’d seen me naked. It is pretty obvious that me and my boobs don’t belong in a boy’s locker room. However, I didn’t even think about it when I saw him. I’ll have to make a point to ask that when I go back to see him on Friday

Anyway, getting dressed in Scotty mode this morning, complete with whitey-tighties and my boobs strapped down, just felt wrong. I’d won the right to be myself with my family, but I had to hide that all away and pretend to be Scotty again in public. While I was presenting as a boy, I was very much aware that I was acting. Now that I’d had some freedom to be Taylor, I just couldn’t put myself back into being Scott. I was Taylor now, pretending to be Scott.

I was able to use Hailey’s cellphone to talk to Cathy for a little bit on Sunday night, which was good, but she’s very down in the dumps. Apparently her mother has her grounded for an entire week, which is typical of her mother, but her mother is going beyond grounding this time. She’s lectured Cathy about me more than once, and Cathy has been warned to keep away. She not supposed to even talk to me. Fortunately, her mother is clueless about technology and didn’t block her cellphone. So as long as I call from Hailey’s phone and the caller shows up as Hailey White, we can talk. Anyway, her mother is a little loopy fruits about everything. She’s even pulling Cathy off the bus. Her mother is going to drive her to and from school now. She did this before right after Cathy was attacked. Supposedly, it was all for Cathy’s protection, but it didn’t last. After a couple of weeks of dropping Cathy off and picking her up, her mother had relented and Cathy had started riding the bus again. Cathy thinks that will happen again and her mother will move on to something else. I’m not so sure.

Regardless, that meant I didn’t even have company on the bus. I rode in by myself in boy mode and it was just a crappy start to a crappy day. I thought it would get easier once I was out with my family, but pretending to be Scott was anything but easy. I couldn’t even blend in. Word had spread at school that my Dad and Julie got married. I slipped up and made it worse by mentioning Hailey and that she’d be starting at Pine Hill Junior High soon. Big mistake, I had lots of people pestering me for details. Mostly it wasn’t negative, but Kevin had to talk about how I had a new snot-sister and booger buddy. I don’t think Hailey has any clue what she’s walking into changing to my school.

Dave and Lloyd were probably the worst for asking questions. I spent my entire lunch hour getting grilled about Julie, Hailey and stuff. I think part of the reason they badgered me so much was because I was holding back, and they could somehow sense that. So much of my life is hidden now. I couldn’t exactly tell them that I was really a girl and couldn’t wait to transition. Somewhere in there I described Hailey as cute, which at least distracted them. Once they’d heard that, they wanted to know about her which was at least a safer topic of conversation. I got through it, but lunch is really starting to become un-fun. There was a time when I looked forward to lunch because there were no teachers and Dave and Lloyd protected me. But more and more it seems that I had almost nothing in common with them.

As annoying as Dave and Lloyd are, PE is still sucks more. I’m a girl. I have no business being in the boy’s locker room. I changed as I always did, quickly and facing the corner, keeping on my undershirt, but today was worse than ever. I don’t belong there and I’m just one mistake away from a beating. It’s really too hot now for the layers I’m wearing and sooner or later someone is going to question that. The next time I see Doc Buford I am so asking for a medical excuse out of PE.

Oh and I’m behind in all my classes. With all the drama that I had going on last week I forgot the assignments I’d been given to do over spring break. Like it is even fair giving assignments over a vacation, but now I’m behind in a lot of my classes, especially English, and I really did not need another reason for Gerstacker to single me out.

On a brighter note, Aunt Dee Dee is coming to dinner tomorrow night. She doesn’t know about me yet, but we had another informal ‘family meeting’ at the dinner table and that topic came up. Dad agreed that I should tell her, that it was too big a secret to try to keep hidden and she’d be sure to notice. He thinks she’ll be understanding. I hope she will be. Maybe the fact that Grandma is against it will be enough to convince her? I hope so.

Chapter Fifty-Eight

Cathy’s mother picked her up from school again Tuesday, so I had to take the bus home alone. I jogged my way home from our bus stop looking forward to getting out of my boy clothes and getting comfortably Taylor. I was surprised to spot Aunt Dee Dee's little red car, but no one else parked in front of our house. It wasn’t that unusual for me to beat everyone else home, but Dad was supposed to be early to meet Aunt Dee Dee.

As I walked down our drive, I wondered what I should do. The plan had been for me to reveal myself to Aunt Dee Dee, but I wasn’t sure that I wanted to do that without backup. Aunt Dee Dee was pretty cool even though she was almost as old as my Dad, she didn’t really look it or act it: She worked at Hooters to Grandma’s shame and Dad’s amusement; she drove a little red sports car; and she was openly a Democrat – almost unheard of around Pine Hill. She was practically the polar opposite of Aunt Elaine, my mother’s tight-laced sister. However, despite all that liberal attitude, I still felt nervous. Just about everyone I’d told about being Taylor had a major freak out over it. I’d like to go ahead and get girly, but maybe all things considered it would be better to wait. Or was that my passive and non-assertiveness rearing its ugly head again?

I still hadn’t decided yet when I opened the door and almost walked into Aunt Dee Dee. She gives me hope that if I can get HRT I might someday actually be pretty. There is a strong family resemblance between Dee Dee and my dad, it shows up in the shape of their eyes, and the overall cast of their faces. There is no doubt they are brother and sister, but looking at Dee Dee was like looking at Dad in a fun house mirror set to estrogen. Dad is all muscles and angles with a strong jaw and browline. Dee Dee is very curvy with one of those hourglass figures. It’s an old joke, mostly repeated by Rick, that her name is also her bra size. Dad’s facial features were repeated but all softened and feminine. Personally, I think her best feature is her long, dark and curly hair that cascades and swirls down her back like a black waterfall.

“Scotty! Good to see you.” Aunt Dee Dee swept me up and hugged me with enthusiasm.

“Good to see you, too, Aunt Dee Dee.” I returned the hug with equal enthusiasm. I might not have grown any when Doc Buford had checked my height, but at least I was no longer at that awkward height of a couple years back that had put my face right at the level of my aunt’s ample chest. As I was hugging her I realized that we weren’t alone. Grandma was here and watching us from the kitchen with her usual frown on her face. I wondered why she was here? She had stayed away all day on Monday and didn’t even get along with Aunt Dee Dee very well. Now she was giving me a sour frown. I also smelled ham cooking and I was pretty sure that Julie had intended to cook herself. Seeing her pretty much ruined the hug.

Aunt Dee Dee pulled away and looked at me with concern. “Hey kiddo, are you okay? You’re not upset about your dad getting remarried, are you?”

“No, it’s not that.” I shook my head and snuck a glance over at Grandma. Aunt Dee Dee looked genuinely concerned and clueless. Apparently Grandma hadn’t told her yet. “I’ve had a lot going on. Maybe I’d better change first. Then I’ll tell you.”

Grandma put a spoon down with a loud clank. “Scott Taylor, your aunt is here to congratulate your father and meet her new sister-in-law. You’re dressed just fine as you are.”

I hadn’t really decided yet if I was going change into Taylor mode before Dad and/or Julie arrived, but all it took was Grandma telling me no to make up my mind. If Grandma said no, I was going for it. “I’m going to go get comfortable. I’ll be right back.” I let Taylor shine through and flounced out of the room.

I changed as fast I could. I was pretty sure that Aunt Dee Dee would be asking questions about what was going on with me. I had no idea how Grandma would answer those questions or how Aunt Dee Dee would react. So I stripped out of my boy clothes and pulled on a pair of panties as fast as I could. I struggled out of my tight sports bra and put on a real bra, something that would make my boobs hard to ignore. I’d borrowed a new outfit from Hailey and this was the perfect occasion to try it out. It was pretty simple and quick, just a lemon yellow tee and a navy sleeveless jumper dress over it, but it was certainly feminine. I still didn’t have any girl shoes, so instead of my boy sneakers I went with my houseshoes which were a brown moccasin style. They were the most unisex shoe I had.

As I was fixing my hair I heard I cry of “What?” from the kitchen. That had to be pretty loud for me to have heard it clearly. I was pretty sure that meant Grandma had told Dee Dee, so I quickly put my hair into place and hurried to the kitchen to see how bad the damage was.

Aunt Dee Dee and Grandma were talking rapidly to each other as I reentered the kitchen. Aunt Dee Dee froze speechless and simply stared at me. Grandma had no problem finding her voice. “Scott Taylor Miller! You should be ashamed of yourself. I specifically told you not to dress like that!”

I’d rather expected that kind of reaction from Grandma. That made it easier to respond calmly. “Dad said I could dress as I pleased and you promised to honor his rules.” I turned to my aunt. “I heard the yelling, so I guess she already told you, but this is me now.”

“And you couldn’t wait to show it off!” Grandma turned to my aunt who was still staring at me. “I’m sorry you had to see this. As I was saying, Scotty has a condition. We’re working to get it straightened out, but he’s a little mixed up right now.”

“My name is Taylor.” I put my hands on my hips and realized I was doing the classic pissed off teen girl pose. I started to hide my hands behind my back, but what was I hiding?. I was a pissed off teenaged girl. Let my body language show it. “Is it so hard to remember that I’m a girl now?”

“How could I ever forget? You never let it drop. Why are you be so selfish? Your Aunt Dee Dee didn’t drive two hours to deal with your neurotic behavior. She came to congratulate your father and meet Julie.”

“Mom? It’s okay.” Aunt Dee Dee had finally found her voice again. “I’m glad this came out. If something is going on with… Taylor, then we shouldn’t hide it under a rug. We do too much of that in this family. I did come here for Robby and Julie, but this is obviously important.” She turned to face me and took a deep breath. “I just got a lot thrown at me, but I take it this is more than crossdressing? You really want to be a girl?”

“I don’t just want. I am a girl. I want to stop pretending I’m a boy.” Okay, not angry. Hands off the hips. What to do with them? I crossed them under my boobs.

“Okay.” She paused for a moment. “Well then, can I have a hug from my niece?”

Really, just like that? I swooped in and hugged her. “Thank you, Aunt Dee Dee. Thank you.”

She returned my hug. “You’re still family. Now you’re just my niece instead of my nephew.”

“Thank you. Thank you.” I hung onto her, extending the hug.

Grandma wasn’t happy. “Dee Dee, please don’t encouraging his behavior. Scotty has a medical condition that needs to be fixed, not humored.”

Aunt Dee Dee squeezed me again and broke the hug. I turned away wiping away tears. From the sound of things the discussion wasn’t over just yet. I was sure there would be consequences, but I was so happy that I didn’t care.

“Mother, I got that part: female hormones, growing breasts, medical mystery, etcetera. You should have mentioned the trans part in there. The part I didn’t follow was that Rob knows and approves, but you don’t?”

Trans? I heard trans. Did Aunt Dee Dee really get me?

“No, I do not approve! He’s growing breasts. Scotty has a hormone imbalance that is messing with his thinking. We need to be the responsible adults here and encourage him to get help.”

“Mother! Rob knows and approves?”

“He knows and he doesn’t really approve. He’s ‘keeping an open mind’, which means standing on a slippery slope.”

“So Taylor wants to be a girl, Robby is undecided, and you want her to be a boy.”

“No, Scotty is a boy. It’s the hormone imbalance that has him acting like this. We get that fixed, and he’ll straighten out.”

“I don’t want to be straightened out! I want to be curvy like Aunt Dee Dee.”

Aunt Dee Dee laughed at that one. “You’ve got a way to go yet, kiddo, but you’ve made a good start. Is what I’m seeing all natural or are you padding?”

“They’re all mine. One hundred percent natural and proud of it.” I wasn’t as big as Aunt Dee Dee, or even Grandma, but what I had was real.

“Scotty, those aren’t natural. You’ve got a condition.”

“Mother, dead horse. I thought you and I had an agreement that you would stop beating the dead horses. You’ve made your position quite clear. Maybe you haven’t realized it, but times are changing. Gay marriage is going to happen in your lifetime. I don’t know much about the T part of LGBT, but I do know that the kind of bigotry you’re showing doesn’t fly any more. If one of my employees acted as hatefully as you are, I’d let them go.”

“Your employees? What do you know? You work at Hooters.”

“Where I am an assistant manager. I make hiring and firing decisions. Our customers are mostly straight and male, but if I had a waitress with your attitude she’d be out the door.”

“That’s religious persecution! You can’t discriminate against people for their beliefs.”

“You're right. I can’t and I don’t, but I don’t tolerate hateful words or actions. Our customers are mostly straight and male. They come to Hooters to eat food while staring at our waitresses. If they wanted a sermon, they’d go to church.” She paused and then sighed. “Now I’m the one who is beating the dead horse. You know what, the players have changed, but this conversation reminds me a lot of ones we had years ago. I think I need to just walk away for a little bit.” She softened her tone and turned to me. “Why don’t we go to the living room and you can tell me your side of things? Sound good?”

“Yes, it does. I’d like that.” I didn’t add that getting a cavity filled would be more fun at this point than staying with Grandma, but I really wanted to.

 

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To Be Continued...