I've actually been living as a woman, inside my head, since the late 80's. It wasn't about being T, it was about just being me, and I thought that the correct me was an effiminate male. JC Penny used to be a great source for women's slacks, jeans, tank tops, panties and that sort of thing. So, about that time all my men's clothing was gone, except I still had to wear ladder hook boots for the work I did. They were a specialized boot with a steel insole and a higher heel to fascilitate the use of pole spikes, ladder climbing and that sort of thing. Later, they went to a tough non-metalic insole to insulate me from the ground. I was joyous the day that I found those boots in women's sizes. You can't buy them in stores. I wasn't "out", but inside I was giving my own personality room to function. The intent was to never come out but to be both genders inside.
Then in 2004, things happened, I was exposed as a hard partying, gay man who was in fact fucking anything that moved. The only issue is that none of that was true! Still, sometimes the ones you love are the first too believe the worst about you.
Well, now in 2013, I've been out 8+ years, post op and living the happpiest life posible, in spite of my family who are of the same ilk that those who burned Wycliffe at the stake were.
This site and those I know here have supported and empathised with me through so many struggles and for that I am so greatful.
Lately, I find my even passing interest in T issues to be waning. It is more and more a trial to read about those things. Still, I know there was a time when I hung on every word; waiting breathlessly for every new episode. I still appreciate the need for those who are starting this journey to follow these stories as it seems to help work things out.
Only in the very beginning did I write strongly TG stories and as time passed my stories became more and more about the story plot and not the T element. I strove more and more to write stories that depicted my characters having completely normal lives, or as normal as one can in a Sci Fi setting.
I won't bring names up but some have been extremely supportive of my desire to write non T stories, and others have been bluntly hostile about it, expecting me to leave. For now, I am trying to decide if I should just let my new stories sleep peacfully on my hard drive or to "Damn the Torpedos" and publish!
Lately, I have rediscovered some of my old Sci Fi Favorites like Asimove's "Foundation Trillogy", though it is quite a dry tome at times. Weber's work is always great fun.
So to you just starting this journey I wish you luck and God Speed and all that rot. I'll probably be looking in from time to time to check how you are doing. For me, rememberance of the struggle has grown too tiresome to think on any longer.
Gwendolyn
Comments
Publishing here
I have no problem with you publishing your non-tg stories here, but it's not my call. Certainly, you can publish elsewhere. When you do, please let me know so that I can read them.
I'm not surprised that you are experiencing some hostility. I wish it weren't so, but many of the people in this community have been hurt badly. That tends to make one easier to hurt, with the consequence that lashing out is common. I'm sure that Erin and company are getting lots of gray hairs riding herd on so many people with so many owies.
When I was in high school, I hung out with other high school kids. Now, I'm open to lending an ear or offering advice, but I really can't do the 'hang out in the mall' thing anymore.
You're not a t-girl anymore. You're a woman. There is still a place here for you, as there is for heterosexual males such as myself who couldn't pass in a million years. If you are no longer comfortable here, it's OK to back off a bit, or a bit more, or a lot. Find your level of comfort and go from there.
As someone who has 'made the grade,' you carry some valuable wisdom that can help those who are just starting their journey, trying to decide, or even just hanging out. Maybe you and Doctor Watts can make your own 'psychological help, five cents' booth.
I have yet to see a community of writers or SF writers that has the same sense of community that we have here at BCTS. Still, there are things like OtherWorldsR.us and the like.
Waining eye sight
Well Ray, it looks like the number of responses this blog is getting is fairly indicative of things. My eye sight has taken a bad turn; beyond the Cataracts that I thought I had, do this may be a mute issue. It is just a little confusing because so many of the comments I've had have been so kind and loving.
Much peace
Gwendolyn
Non-TG Stuff here?
Erin has explicitly said non-TG stuff is welcome, from established TG authors (I think you qualify). So, I see no reason why that should hinder your.
You're probably running into the same resistance many professional authors do when they try to branch out of their normal genre. Many existing fans complain - a lot.
One thing, I think you should be prepared for (and be glad if it doesn't happen) is fewer reads. Some folks here apparently don't read non-TG stuff. That said, the few non-TG bits I posted here had about the same number of hits / comments as many of my other posts. So, no clue, really.
Annette
I would rather you stay
we need people who have completed their transition here. But no matter where you go, you take my best wishes with you
Didn't say I was leaving...
I was just sort of musing about the change of perspective that has swept over me in the last months. I just don't see things the way I used to. I remain sympathetic to others here, it is just that I already did the little girl things, and am moving on.
Much [eace
Gwendolyn
non-tg
I like the others don't see a problem with it, but keep in mind that when most people come here looking for a story what their looking for is TG related. I for one prefer my stories to have a light TG touch (but not a necessity), but dominantly be fiction based (sci-fi/fantasy) and written from a female perspective. That in itself is what drew me to BCTS in the first place.
I still find it hard to understand...
...just why people would object to stories being published here that aren't TG or -themed. While the site is intended, to my understanding, primarily for stories of that nature, everyone who really matters has stated that non-TG stories are welcome. The only labeling requirements, so far as I am aware, are for age-appropriateness, and though others are helpful in allowing readers to avoid stories that would cause them problems or in helping readers to find stories that might interest them, they aren't required (again, sfaik).
If you really don't want to read something, then don't read it? Don't crap on authors. If you don't like a story, then don't read it. If you don't like an author, then don't read their stories. If you don't like a topic, don't read stories with that label. If you really can't take seeing someone's comments, an ignore feature has been provided; use it.
Am I missing something in this? Just be decently polite to others. It shouldn't be that hard...
...
...
Should it?
***
For Gwen, your reduced presence on the site, if such occurs, will be saddening, but I get your reasons. I don't always see eye to eye with you, and some things you've said have even frustrated me greatly. That's just life, and I've yet to meet a person who doesn't do that to me at least sometimes. I like you, kind of like a sometimes slightly crazy aunt. Keep in touch, okay?
-Liz
Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"