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Her father had been a hard man thought Jenny as the rain poured down in buckets. She knew that from personal experience.

Why was she here then?

After all it had been twenty five years since he had told her in no uncertain terms to sod off. There was no way in hell Leo Haldane would accept let alone tolerate a son who wanted to be his daughter.

“Get out of my house you bloody queer and don’t let me see your stupid mug around here again or mark my words it’ll be the last thing you do,” had been his exact words to her after she had announced her intention to transition.

He hadn’t raged or yelled, in fact his coldness had made it much more painful for his child for at least she would have felt he was in some way emotionally invested in her but he’d simply kept his cool while throwing her out.

Any response she’d been preparing died in her throat as she realised what his attitude meant. It was at that moment that the truth had crystallised for her, he didn’t love her at least not in the way other kids dads loved them.

She’d wondered at the time if he’d ever cared for her or had she always been another expense to the businessman and her transition made her a liability instead. For years afterwards she’d been bitter, resenting him for being the way he was. She’d mellowed now with the passage of time though and had even forgiven him which is why she could come to his burial.

In part she had James to thank for that, he had come into her life and taught her what love was, everyday of the last 15 years had been something to cherish for he had completed her in a way even the surgery hadn’t, filling a hole in her heart she hadn’t known existed. The kids were just as precious they gave her life meaning.

She felt sorry for her father because she suspected he’d never known the happiness she lived with daily, his life had been a series of bitter disappointments. Born in 1937, he’d lost his whole family during the Blitz and had grown up in an assortment of orphanages lucky not to be sent to Australia or Canada. At 18 he’d been turned out to make his own way in the world. In that he was quite successful, he worked hard and had a shrewd mind. By the time he met her mother Jane, 9 years later he was already well on his way to his first million. She’d arrived on the scene three years later.

Jenny barely remembered her first few years but one day in particular stood out, when she was five her mother a gentle loving woman she adored had passed away in childbirth and the man she knew as Dada had changed irrevocably.

He farmed her off to a line of nannies then boarding schools characterised by bullying and feeling out of place amongst the boys she was surrounded by and her growing discomfort with her body. Materially she wanted for nothing save a parent’s love and some understanding of what she was feeling.

On holiday at 14 she’d stumbled across her mother’s clothes and before she knew it was dressed in them. When she looked in the mirror everything suddenly made sense and she just knew she was born to be a girl and her life forever changed that day. All her efforts were targeted at one day correcting her body so it would match her insides. Holidays where usually spent building up the stash of girls clothing and going out as a girl, while her father was off who knows where increasing his sizeable fortune.

They rarely saw each other and she trusted the help to keep their silence about her clandestine cross-dressing as her father paid rather well and none of them wanted to risk their jobs by being the bearer of bad news about the master’s transvestite son.

School continued to be hell, she just couldn’t fit into the he-man culture that pervaded her public school and if it wasn’t for her schoolwork and her long term goal to transition she might have ended it all.

At 18 Oxford beckoned on a scholarship after an outstanding performance at ‘A’ level. If her dad was proud his son was in a bastion of the silver spooned it never showed. He’d probably have had the same lack of reaction had she flunked out of school at 16. As it was life had one more slap for Leo Haldane, a year later Jenny at nineteen announced her intention to transition from male to female.

She’d hated Leo Haldane then for not being there and they didn't meet for another 15 years.

He had withdrawn all his financial support after that, leaving her to struggle through her transition and the prejudice that prevailed in the late eighties and early nineties against transsexuals. Luckily her mother had left her a stipend and she survived varsity using this. She also had the good fortune of passing easily as her body was slender and she was only 5ft7 and the hormones powerful action removed all doubt as to her gender turning into quite an attractive young woman. Jenny had gone on to get SRS as it was known as then two years after coming out before getting a First in Economics and Literature. She’d gone on to the City and had taken it by storm, showing an uncanny eye for making profitable deal in her job as a investment broker and making her own fortune by the time she was 30 without ever resorting to using her father’s now famous name.

In fact it worried her at the time that her life was following a similar course to his as she lived to make money and prove herself to people though she had different reasons for that. James Iverson had changed that though, breaking down the shell she’d constructed to protect herself and stealing her heart.

Unlike nearly every man she’d dated up till then he didn’t mind that she was born different from other girls; he admired the strength and courage to be one’s true self. He was attracted to her brain as much as her gorgeous body; she wasn’t some notch in his little black book. He didn’t mind that she couldn’t have his babies; he just wanted her anything else was a bonus. He’d chased her relentlessly for two years before she agreed to marry him. At 32 she became his wife in a ceremony on a beach in Antigua though their marriage wouldn’t be recognised in the UK because in the eyes of the law she was still a man.

The newlyweds were in seventh heaven and Jenny once again realised why she was a woman and not a man and what it meant. Needless to say she absolutely loved it.

Fate took a hand in the next meeting of Leo and his erstwhile son. Both of them were invited to a banquet at some posh City hotel for the who’s who in business, by now Jenny was a well respected businesswoman running her own brokerage and venture capital firm and was worth a pretty penny while her father’s stock had also risen, he was now one of Britain’s leading magnates with a knighthood from Blair’s government for his not inconsiderable success in business.

As luck would have it somebody placed them at the same table, right across from each other. Leo was shocked by the resemblance the young woman across him had to his late wife, it was quite uncanny the only difference was Jane had been a redhead while this woman had black hair. He didn’t realise he was looking at Jane’s child. In fact he had written off his kid the moment he’d announced some perverse wish to get a sex-change. He sometimes wondered where his child had gone off to but wasn’t prepared to risk finding out, he was probably some sex-crazed, drug riddled half man half woman and he suddenly felt an immense sorrow, he’d last clapped his eyes on him in ’87. Jane would probably never have forgiven him for turning out her baby. He had many regrets but his biggest was how he’d neglected his one child when Jane died, in all probability all that tranny rubbish was a cry for attention, in his anger he’d thrown him out and as the kid was Leo Haldane’s he was probably too proud to come back.

Jenny was just as stunned by her father’s appearance. He’d aged quite a bit in the fifteen years she hadn’t seen him and was no longer the imposing figure she remembered from her childhood. It was quite disconcerting to see her father so noticeably old, she also realised he didn’t recognize her which was a relief in some ways but also caused her immense pain that her own parent didn’t know her.

At first they didn’t talk to one another directly, Sir Haldane had many people trying to network with him while some of the few who realised Jenny Iverson as she’d styled herself that night wasn't someone to sniff at made conversation with her. Leo who was a very observant man had been keeping an eye on her and he realised she wasn’t some one’s eye candy but was a very intelligent person very much clued in on the world. The man she was with seemed very enamoured with her just as he was with her, they wore matching rings and he guessed he was her husband. A quick glance at the card confirmed it James and Jenny Iverson.

She sounded well heeled, a member of the set sent to expensive public schools but unlike a lot of them she didn’t sound like she had fluff in between her ears. At one point he had hoped his son would turn out like that steel under velvet but Trevor though quite intelligent was a quiet loner and as it turned out not much of a man.

Jenny was also keeping an eye on her father, noting how he still behaved the same around his business associates, saying little and giving away less while gleaning their thoughts probably to benefit from them at a later stage. It scared her how similar he was to her and she tried to concentrate on other things by telling herself he was as dead to her as she was to him.

It didn’t work.

Leo had been the focus of her bitterness for too long, it was fair to say that some of the things she’d done since coming out had been a reaction to him throwing her out, her way of proving she could be a success without him. It partly explained why she’d been so hell bent on success.

That had been ten years ago recalled Jenny as the funeral party made its way to her father’s final resting place while the rain gave no respite. The weather wanted to make her father’s funeral as miserable as he had made her feel earlier in her life. Despite the inclement weather there was big crowd gathered to see her father off.

Not one of them could have claimed to have known the man beyond his businesses, his own child barely knew him, as he’d been an absentee father and they’d only rekindled their relationship a couple of years ago when Jenny had put aside her pride first to be there for her terminally ill parent.

Deep down she had loved him in the way that only a child can love its parent however twisted or bad they are, it’s a spark that’s always there come what may. It probably explained why she’d been cold to him back at that banquet.

Leo had asked one of his assistants about Jenny when she’d gone off to dance with James and he’d been told that she was a broker and upcoming venture capitalist something which piqued his interest. He hadn’t been interested in women since Jane died and his interest in Jenny was mostly professional and because he felt drawn to her like she was the daughter he never had in some way.

Basically she was someone who he thought had a similar take on things to him and though he didn’t know it he subconsciously felt she could carry on his legacy.

He sought her out later.

“Jenny Iverson I presume, may I have a moment if it’s possible,” he said towards the end of the evening.

Jenny who couldn’t believe this was her father wanting to talk to her asked her hubby for a moment and James decided to leave father and daughter to sort out their issues. He knew his father-in-law didn’t know he was talking to Jenny but guessed Jenny needed some privacy with her old man.

“Of course Sir Haldane, how can I help you?” Jenny responded in her most professional tone.

“I couldn’t help overhearing your ideas on the money market and derivative sales. I found them very interesting. I would like to invest in your portfolio in the region of  £20million,” said Leo.

Jenny was astounded; wow her father trusted her instincts where his money was concerned. She didn’t think that it was possible for him to trust anybody but himself where his investments were concerned. Yet he had cast her adrift and that part of her that remained at heart a small child decided to make him pay for his action that day. The rational businesswoman didn’t get a say at all.

“Come on Dada,” began Jenny using her childhood pet name for father making Leo’s blood run cold, “you don’t expect a queer like me to hold on to your 20million quid. I seem to remember you telling me you didn’t want to see my stupid mug again. Well the feeling is mutual so please keep your money. I have no need of it just as I sure haven’t needed it for the last 15 years,” she said icily, resisting the urge to spit in his face before turning on her heel and leaving her father apoplectic with shock as he realised that she was Trevor.

Observers that day and there were quite a few would have noted that Sir Leo wasn’t quite himself after a tete-a-tete with Jenny Iverson and had gone home early that night looking pale-faced. One or two of them joked he’d met his match.

In truth Leo had gone home stunned that that woman was Trevor, which probably explained the resemblance to Jane. He or was it she hated him; he’d seen the look in her eyes as she turned him down. Every fibre in his body told him his own child hated him. Of course he didn’t know the first thing about why a man would want to be a woman, hadn’t listened when Trevor had tried explaining but it was clear to him that he had a daughter somehow, no way someone like that was a man and what was more she hated his guts and it hurt in a way he hadn’t hurt for a long time.

Though she’d wanted to do it Jenny didn’t feel any better for her actions towards her father. In fact she’d cried herself to sleep that night wondering why she’d had to hurt him back. It took her a long time to get over that but once again James had helped her get through it.

“He made his choice fifteen years ago my love, let him lie on his bed,” her husband told her.

“He’s my only family and he doesn’t have anyone else either. Why did I have to get revenge, I want to be better than that,” sobbed Jenny.

“Hey it’s okay sweetheart,” James said softly, holding her as she sobbed, “Whatever happens I’m there for you.”

Becoming a mother helped a lot though part of her felt sad that Leo couldn’t share in her joy. Since she couldn’t have children she and James had found a surrogate mother in India of all places while obtaining a donation of eggs. Cerian was born in 2003 followed by Kelly and Connor in 2005.

Leo meanwhile hadn’t recovered from the shock of seeing his estranged child and discovering she wanted nothing to do with him. Jenny had shattered the bleak notions of what he’d feared would be his child’s life. She was obviously an elegant, intellectual successful woman who appeared happily married. To be sure he’d done his own research, getting a former rozzer to trace Jenny’s past.

Sure enough she was once Trevor. For the first time since Jane’s death he was at a loss. He wanted to reach out and get to know Jenny but he was too proud and still hurt by her getting a sex-change. He knew the blame was to be laid at his feet, most not all of it mind you.

Damn it why did she have to look so much like Jane?

The two of them had subconsciously avoided each other for the next years, doing as much as possible so as not meet. Meanwhile Leo’s health was in decline, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer 2008. The news was never made public and the reclusive millionaire became even harder to see.

The treatments weren’t working and before long the disease was terminal. It is doubtful Jenny would ever have found out if it hadn’t been for her father’s housekeeper coming to her offices.

Mrs Smith had been with the family since the mid-seventies, she had been the one constant in Jenny’s youth so much so that she still sent her a present every Christmas.

“This is a surprise to what do I owe the pleasure?” said Jenny joyfully at the sight of one of her favourite people in her childhood.

“Is that really you Trevor?” responded Mrs Smith.

“It hasn’t been for a long time Mrs Smith,” said Jenny indulgently.

“You look lovely dear. I suppose this was for the best given how you were as a nipper,” said the old lady no doubt referring to Jenny’s girly nature as a child.

“Thank you, how are you and the family?” Jenny queried.

“Oh so, Adam’s arthritis is acting up again but as much as I’ve wanted to see you that’s not why I’m here. Your father’s dying sweetie,” said Mrs Smith gravely.

The news left Jenny staggered even though she ought to have known her father was getting on in years a lot of people are never prepared to deal with the death of a parent. We always assume they will be there forever as they have always been there.

It was the same for Jenny. Her father even though estranged had been a constant in her life whether as a centre for the bitterness or as a standard to aspire or never fall to. The thought that his life was drawing to a close was unfathomable since it shook the very foundations of who she was.

Tears made their way down her face ruining her make-up while Mrs Smith hugged her while she regretted everything that had passed between the Haldane’s.

She didn’t make the same mistake twice though, she’d gone up to her father’s home for the first time in 25 years determined to be by his side before he passed and hopefully heal the breach.

Leo Haldane was a hard man, a stupid old fool in Mrs Smith’s opinion and he had no kind words for his daughter.

“I didn’t ask you to come,” he told Jenny when she was shown to his room.

She was just as stubborn though, “No you didn’t but I’m here anyway and unless you can drag me out I’m not going anywhere,”

“Bah,” muttered Leo but he didn’t ask her to leave.

That set the tone for the rest of Jenny’s visits.

No apology was forthcoming and Jenny didn’t expect it though she didn’t offer one either. Instead they’d sit for a while in silence clash occasionally over some slight issue but neither of them would storm out. Before long they both looked forward to Jenny’s visits though neither of them would ever admit it to the other. Sometimes the pain would be too much for Leo and he’d fall unconscious squeezing her hand, deliriously calling her Jane.

One day Jenny asked about her mother and for the first time in her life her dad smiled and gushed.

“She was a wonderful woman your mother, she looked just like you save her hair. I fell for her the instant I met her, I wish she could have seen her daughter grow up, Lord knows I made a right hash of it,” he began.

“You’re just as sensible and kind as she was, being around for a silly man like me,” he went on softly, his voice failing.

He mumbled incoherently before falling asleep.

He passed away later that day while holding his daughter’s hand, “I love you,” he told her, I always have and I’m sorry I hurt you. I wish I could have made it up but Jane’s calling me now,”

James squeezed her hand while her tears mingled with the rain as she recalled the hard man’s last words.

The end