Jenny’s outburst gave me plenty of food for thought as I drove back to Rusper on Wednesday night, after having taken Jean and her daughter home. My initial reaction was to have a row with her, there and then. What she had said was nasty and unacceptable. I’d always suspected that she always was more concerned about her and the twins taking part in that Convention than the welfare of her younger brother. If the whole thing had now developed in a way that was not to her liking, she must accept a share of the responsibility. Jenny can be quite outspoken at times, but I knew it was not ‘her time of the month’ on this occasion and so she wouldn’t be able to get away with using that as an excuse.

At the same time I could see that there would be difficulties to be encountered and adjustments to be made by Jenny if her brother decided that he wished to take permanent steps to become a young woman, as increasingly now seemed to be likely. After my recent researches among papers written by psychologists, endocrinologists, and gender theorists, I had stumbled upon a transgendered fiction site and had read some of the stories for a bit of light relief. Some of the stories that I read portrayed bullying at school and elsewhere in the community, but also families (especially mothers and sisters) who welcomed and embraced the idea of a son or brother transitioning. I realised that some of this was wishful thinking by the authors concerned and that real life would not be as straightforward. Life would not be easy for either of Josie or Jenny. They would need one another’s friendship and support, both now and also in later life. For that reason, if nothing else, I would not be able to let Jenny’s words and opinions go unchallenged.

There was no light on in Jenny’s bedroom when I got home and so I presumed that she must have gone straight to bed. I decided to do the same, and speak to her after we’d both had an opportunity to cool off. However, it was some time before I was able to get any sleep because of worrying about my two children and their future. Similarly, there was no sign of any movement from Jenny’s bedroom the following morning when I got up to go to work. I looked in to her room but she was still sleeping, and I guessed that, like me, she may have laid awake for much of the night. I didn’t then have time for a row with my daughter and so left a note for her on the kitchen table saying that I needed to have a talk with her when I got back from work, and that she was not (underlined) to make any arrangements to go out or to have any friends round during the course of the day. I’m sure that Susan would understand my reasons for imposing these sanctions.

During the course of the day I made an appointment for Josie and I to go to London to see the Psychologist recommended by my doctor, as soon as possible after she got back from Llangollen. The plan was to ascertain whether or not Josie was an appropriate client to attend a gender identity clinic in London. My GP had also discussed with me the possibility of prescribing her some puberty blocking drugs to delay the onset of any physical changes brought about by the testosterone in her body, pending any longer term decision. But she preferred to leave this decision to the specialist/.

Once I’d made the appointment I spoke on the phone to Alice to check how things were going at Llangollen.

‘Everything is fine, your daughter and Karen are a pleasure to have as house guests and have been keeping their room tidy and helping me around the house.’

‘That’s good to hear, and has there been any danger of her being identified?’ I asked.

‘Not as far as I’m aware, they were out for much of the day yesterday, but came back at the agreed time,’

‘What about your husband?’

‘I don’t think that George has noticed anything unusual about Josie or he would have mentioned it to me. In fact I keep forgetting about her origins and treat her as I would any other teenage girl.’

‘Thank you Alice, I am sure that that is exactly what she wants.’

I also tried to call Josie during the afternoon, but she said that they were just going round a museum and so couldn’t speak to me just then. I called again just before I left work and told her about our appointment. I asked what she’d been doing over the last couple of days. She seemed a little cagey with me, but assured me that all was well. I didn’t say anything about Jenny, and Josie never asked.

'We’ve been having a good time and will be going shopping in Chester on Saturday,’ she announced.

‘Enjoy yourself then, and don’t spend all of your money.’

‘But Mum, there is so much that I’m going to need as Josie whereas Joe will no longer need the computer upgrade that he’d been saving for.’

She sounded so confident and determined as she spoke that I didn’t feel able to contradict her.

‘Well it is your money, as long as you don’t expect me to bail you out afterwards.’

I arrived home last night to find a meal on the table and a somewhat chastened elder daughter awaiting my arrival. But I wasn’t going to let her off the hook quite so easily.

‘Well, Jennifer, what have you got to say for yourself?’ I asked.

She looked down at the floor.

‘I’m sorry for calling Josie a freak.’

‘So you should be; that was a horrible thing to say.’

‘I know. I shouldn’t have done so. I’ve already been told off by both of the twins.’

‘I’m glad to hear it. Does Josie know what you said about her?’

‘I guess so — she kept sending me text messages so I told her to leave me alone.’

‘I trust you didn’t use the same language to her.’

Jenny looked really ashamed and didn’t respond.

‘How did Josie react to your message.’

‘I don’t know. I have sent her another text message apologising and have tried to ring her but she now ignores my calls.’

‘I’m not surprised.’

‘I’ve had a real earful from Karen who told me that I was a selfish bitch and didn’t deserve to have a sister like Josie.’

‘How did she get to know about it?’

‘Sue told her. Sue also said that I was wrong to say what I did although she put it in more measured terms.’

‘Well at least you have some sensible friends.’

‘You’re going to have to find a way to make things up with your sister by the time she gets back.’

Jenny looked genuinely ashamed of herself.

‘I know.’

‘But what about this new boyfriend who says that he hates all freaks and queers? I don’t like the idea of you being friends with someone who is so bigoted and narrow minded.’

She sighed.

‘Mum, it isn’t just him, it’s what all the boys will say, and quite a few of the girls as well. It is what most of her classmates will say to Josie if she ever turned up at school dressed as a girl.’

‘But surely your school will have a policy for dealing with such situations.’

‘They have a policy that everyone should do their homework every night, but that doesn’t mean that everybody does it.’

‘Have there ever been any transgendered students at your school?’

‘Not as far as I know; or at least none that were obviously so, but there are plenty of stories in the press and on television so I know how people would react. I also know how they treat anyone who is even suspected of being gay.‘

‘Would Josie be subject to any physical harm?’ I asked.

‘Probably not; the teachers are on the lookout for physical bullying these days - at least on school premises, but people can be pretty vicious with their comments all the same. She would also have to be careful about going out on her own.’

‘But surely if you, the twins and Denise all supported her.’

‘Mum, we are in a different year from Josie, we take different classes. There would be nothing that any of us could do to stop it. Josie would be on her own. She must know that.’

‘So what do you think we should do?’

‘I think the only realistic answer would be for us to move to the other side of town where she could start in a new school where nobody knew her, and just hope that she would not be recognised.’

‘How would you react if we did that?’ I asked.

‘I already have a four mile journey into school; it wouldn’t make that much difference to me if it was up to four miles in the opposite direction.’

In some respects my talk depressed me regarding Josie’s prospects next September, but also gave me some food for thought.