“Rachel.” Tracy said, in a soft, sweet voice. “Wake up, Rachel.”

“Five more minutes.” Rachel grumbled before rolling over in the bed.

“No. You got to get up now.” Tracy said as she got up and went to Rachel's bed. She sat on the edge of the bed and began to tickle at Rachel's ear. “You wouldn't be this tired if you hadn't stayed up all night.” Rachel turned over and tried to hide her ears from Tracy, so Tracy went to plan B and uncovered Rachel's feet and began tickling her toes.

Edited by Djkauf

Tracy returns! She's in Livermore, staying with friends and missing her mother, it can get better, right?

February 10th 1983

Molly's arraignment was being held off for one more day. She just wanted it over so she could prove her innocence. She was getting tired of the mental health facility. It was almost evening of the fourth day she was there as she went to the main room where everyone was watching TV. She took a seat far from the people she thought were the really crazy ones and sat there, missing her children and husband.

Molly saw the two women out of the corner of her eyes get close. They hugged, then the one woman kissed the other woman's cheek. She turned her head, aware that someone else had visitations with their children at that current moment. She could hear the screaming and begging of a young child, pleading that the women leave her alone, and a picture flashed in her mind of the two women kissing over the abused body of the child she had seen enter earlier. With that image, Molly's clam demeanor snapped.

“You freaks! You're all rapists and you'll burn in hell!!!” She screamed as she got to her feet, glaring daggers at the two women, both of whom now looked very startled. She rushed over to them and grabbed one of them by the arm and yanked her away, then she looked to the one who was a patient there. “You freaks do nothing but hurt everyone! You'll burn in hell!!!”

Several people from the staff jumped on Molly as she was about to backhand the woman on the couch. She was pulled to the floor, screaming obscenities at the two women, who were cousins and not lovers at all. And the kiss had not been of passion, but just a kiss one gives family. Molly was still screaming as she was pulled away from the main part of the room.

“Damn.” The main doctor on duty whispered. He didn't look forward to the call he would make, telling Molly's husband that there had been issues, and visitations would be stopping for a while.

~o~O~o~

February 15th 1983

Tracy woke up when Rachel's alarm clock went off and the first thing Rachel did was groan and slap at the snooze button. Tracy decided to sleep in a bit, so she rolled over, leaving her back against Rachel's Five minutes later the alarm went off again and this time someone tapped at Rachel's door. “Bathroom is yours, Rachel.” Jamie's voice said through the door. Rachel slapped her alarm button again and this time Tracy rolled over.

“Rachel.” Tracy said, in a soft, sweet voice. “Wake up, Rachel.”

“Five more minutes.” Rachel grumbled before rolling over in the bed.

“No. You got to get up now.” Tracy said as she got up and went to Rachel's bed. She sat on the edge of the bed and began to tickle at Rachel's ear. “You wouldn't be this tired if you hadn't stayed up all night.” Rachel turned over and tried to hide her ears from Tracy, so Tracy went to plan B and uncovered Rachel's feet and began tickling her toes.

“Argh!” She replied, as she balled up.

Tracy pulled Rachel on to her back and pulled up her nightgown, just high enough to expose her belly, she put her mouth over Rachel's belly and blew. One hand tickled Rachel's side. Rachel began squirming and thrashing on the bed, giggling and pleading, as she struggled with her friend. After a few seconds of Rachel pleading, she stopped and as she lifted up, she realized that Rachel wasn't wearing anything under the nightgown and from her position, she got a good view of her friend.

Tracy's cheeks went bright red, but like Brooke, she had a hard time turning away. As Rachel realized that Tracy was staring, she managed to bring her legs together, then covered her crotch with her hands, but couldn't find the words to snap Tracy out of her staring. Tracy saw she had covered herself and knew Rachel had seen her staring. Then she saw Rachel's eyes drift down and she knew that something had grown. She hadn't worn her gaff that night and in the struggle, she knew her pants had been pulled tight and she was making a slight tent in them. She panicked, feeling shame for having the male parts, for it growing in front of Rachel, and she hopped off the bed and ran out of the room, tears starting to stream down her cheeks.

Rachel sat up on the bed as her father called out for her to get a move on, wondering what had just happened. She got up, determined to ask Tracy what had happened. She stepped out an started to walk down the hall to the stairs, when Lance came out of his room and shooed her off to the bathroom. “Shower, now. You can get breakfast in a bit.”

~o~O~o~

Tracy had waited for Rachel to get in the shower to rush back into her room and gather her stuff for the day. After having seen her friend naked and having gained an erection because of it, she couldn't face Rachel. Logic was ruled out in her mind and she knew she had to leave and fast. It was the fear that Rachel would hate her for looking at her without permission. She quickly jumped into her clothes and grabbed the bag that held her books and tai chi uniform. She made her way down the steps, then she quickly went to the front door and left.

Lance had been in the kitchen with his wife and eldest child when they heard the feet running to the door and the door slam. He got up and went to the door and opened it up and looked out, but didn't see anyone. “That's weird.” He said. He tested the front door handle, to make sure it was locked. “Maybe Rachel was checking to see if the girls showed up?”

“I don't know, could be. I'll go see if Tracy is hungry.” Lynn said as she went up the steps.

She went to the bedroom and saw it was devoid of life. She peeked into Jamie's room and found it empty. She went to the bathroom and wondering if Rachel and Tracy were both in there. She tried the handle and found it was locked. She knocked. “Rachel?”

“Yeah?” A muffled voice replied.

“Is Tracy in there with you?”

“No.” Rachel replied back. “Why?”

“She’s not in your room, or downstairs.” Her mother stated. “Finish you shower, though, breakfast is ready.”

She turned and headed for the stairwell, as Rachel stood in the shower, wondering what was going on. Lynn looked to her husband and shook her head. “She's not up here. Could she have been the one to leave?”

“I'll call Karen.” Lance said.

~o~O~o~

Five minutes later, Tracy was standing at Brooke's door, crying because she figured that she was about to lose a friend for what she had done. She knocked and a moment later, Brooke opened up the door and looked at her. “Hey, come on in.” She turned to face the hall. “Mom, Tracy's here.”

Tracy walked into the house, crying intensifying. Karen came around the corner, phone in her hand. “Yeah, Lance, she's here. She's crying, but I'm not sure why. I'll talk to her and give you a call later.”

“Hey, you okay?” Brooke asked and Tracy just ignored her, letting her bag drop to the floor as she sat down on the floor, brought her knees to her chest, put her head on her knees and cried.

“Tracy, what's wrong?” Karen asked. “Are you hurt?” Tracy shook her head. “Did Rachel say something to upset you?” Again she shook her head. “You missing your parents?”

“I am.” She said between sniffles. “But that's not it.”

“Tracy, you got Lynn and Lance worried. They didn't know where you were.”

“I messed up!” She yelled, raising her head, tears had stained her cheeks. “I messed up and Rachel will hate me!” She began sobbing and Karen put an arm around her and tried to help her sit up. After a moment of that not working, Lok came over and picked up the preteen as though she were just a baby. He carried her to the living room and put her down on the couch, so the doorway was free for Brooke to get to school on time. He left the room as Karen sat on the floor near her. Brooke had wanted to stay, but Lok pulled her away.

“Tracy, what happened?” Karen asked, but Tracy was too busy crying to answer. “Tracy, calm down and let me know what happened.” But the girl wouldn't stop crying. She buried her head into a couch cushion and stayed there. Karen prompted her once more and Tracy finally answered.

"Stupid body." Tracy's voice managed to be heard, just slightly. "Cost me my friends. Stupid body."

Karen looked at the crying girl, very confused.

~o~O~o~

Lance was using the phone in his kitchen, listening to Karen. He could hear crying in the background. “I don't know, Lance. All she said was she messed up and Rachel will hate her now. She keeps saying she lost a friend and that her stupid body caused it.”

“One moment, Karen.” Lance said. He looked to his daughter. “Sweetie, what happened with Tracy this morning. She's at the Han's and she thinks you hate her now and something about her body causing it? Did you or her do something that the other didn't want?”

Rachel sighed. Even she didn't understand it. “I don't know. I hit my snooze, like always and she came over the second time and started to tickle my feet. I rolled over and then she rolled me on my back. She lifted my shirt and blew on my chest.”

“Okay. What else?” Lance asked.

“I don't sleep with panties on, Dad. She saw me naked and she saw me down there.” Rachel replied. Her cheeks went red at the subject matter. “Her, um....her thing, you know, her boy thingy got hard and she suddenly ran out of the room. I didn't yell at her or anything, honest. I didn't touch her and she only blew on my chest, nothing else, I promise. I was gonna follow her, but you had me take a shower, I didn't even know that she had left.” Rachel began to cry, as she realized it was her fault. It was her body that made Tracy excited and that made Tracy angry with herself.

“Lance, I think I know.” Lynn said. “Tracy ran because she saw Rachel naked and her body reacted like normal. She got embarrassed by that, because she hates her boy parts and she ran for safety.”

“That’s got to be it.” Lance agreed. He held the phone to his ear. “You hear that, Karen?”

“Yeah. Tracy saw Rachel and got excited. I can talk to her if you want. Or I can have Mom do it.”

“Please.” Lance said. “We'll cover Rachel here and maybe we should give Tracy some space. Just tell her that we don't hate her and she's still welcome here tonight.”

~o~O~o~

“Tracy?” Karen said, sitting on the floor next to the couch. “You know that no one is mad at you. You have Rachel scared because you ran off.”

“She'll hate me.....I hate this stupid thing!” Tracy brought her hands up, then slammed them into her crotch. Karen put her hands on Tracy's, to keep her from hurting herself. “I hate how it gets hard at the worst times! I just want it off me! I wanna cut it off!!!” She began crying again an Karen just scooped her up and into a hug.

“Shhhh.” She did her best to soothe the young girl. “It’s going to work itself out. Don't beat yourself up for something you can't control.”

~o~O~o~

Sage walked with Rachel and Brooke the mile to their school and halfway there the strange silence finally got the best of her. “Okay you two, what happened? Neither of you are listening to me. What went on that got you both shook up?”

“There was an issue this morning with Tracy.” Brooke stated.

Rachel shot her a mean look, not wanting to get into it again. Sage looked at Brooke. “Like what? Is she okay?”

“It’s not important.” Rachel said.

Brooke shook her head. “Rachel, Sage is the one person we should go to with these problems.”

Sage stopped in her tracks. “Alright, you two tell me what happened, or I don't talk to you both for the next week and we invite Tracy to stay at my house.”

Rachel sighed. “Fine.” And she quickly covered what had happened with Tracy that morning, including the tickle war and the aftermath. Brooke took over and told her how Tracy was hating her male parts at her house.

“Well, what her body did is normal.“ Sage said, after thinking about the story for a moment. “Mine does it too. And you couldn't have done much to stop it, Rachel. Stupid things are on automatic. I think Tracy just may like boys and girls, but then that's just me guessing. She is trying to discover herself.”

“I think she does.” Brooke stated. “At Christmas, she was watching me change, and I think she wanted to watch more, but she kept getting nervous, like I'd say something. I know it grew then, too.”

Sage nodded, then turned to Rachel. “Rach, you can't be your normal aggressive self. She's gonna be thinking you hate her and I'd bet that she's upset that she got hard in front of you. Nothing you could have done, it's just life. But remind her that you are her friend and you don't care what is on her body. It's the inner package that you know and love.”

Rachel nodded and then Sage pulled her into a hug. “And tomorrow.” Sage added with a light chuckle. “get up at the first alarm.”

~o~O~o~

Vance was enjoying a quiet day of school. So far no one had bugged him about his brother. Instead the talk had gone to Scotty Hallmark's mother and the stories of how many children she could attack at one time. He sat off in the field, at a bench near the baseball diamond and ate his lunch. He would have found Emily and eaten with her, but he was afraid of running off her friends. He was halfway through his sandwich when a shadow fell over him. He looked up to see Scotty Hallmark standing there, holding his own lunch.

“Hey, can I sit here?” Scotty asked Vance.

“It’s a free country.” Vance replied.

“Thanks.” Scotty said as he sat down. A dozen ideas on how to talk to Vance all popped into his head. He could discus the weather, like his Dad did when they were stuck near people his dad didn't care for. But he went the direct route. “Hey, I'm sorry for what my mom did. I don't know why she attacked your brother.”

“Who knows?” Vance replied. “Maybe she is crazy. I heard what happened and it wasn't good.”

“You know Vance, we're almost the same.” Scotty said. “You've been getting shit for Troy and I've been picked on because of how Robbie can be. Sure, it's not the same, but I know how it is to be picked on all the time.”

“Do you agree with what your brother does?” Vance asked.

“You mean the bible thing? I don't know. I mean I used to pick on him a lot, I still do, but I care about him, you know? I mean at times it feels like Mom only cares about him and Dad can get on my case when I'm mean to him, but now, with the whole attack thing, he doesn't have Mom and we've been talking more.”

“I used to have that problem too, but we're getting better now.”

“Better? Since the pictures of the dress thing?”

“Well, I mean before that. I used to be an ass to Troy, but since he started wearing the dresses, we had a few fights, then, well, then we got closer.” Vance said, then he took a bite of his sandwich.

“Does he just dress as one? A girl I mean. I mean why did he go to the mall like that? I don't think I'd ever be able to go out in public like that, not wearing a dress.”

“But if you were to wear a dress, would you look like a girl, like Troy does?” Scotty thought about it for a moment, till Vance asked another question. “When you first saw that picture, did you know it was Troy, or just think it was some girl, who looked a little like him.”

“Honestly?” Scotty asked, even though it was a rhetorical question, Vance still nodded his head. “I thought it was a girl. It was the note that made me look closely at his face and you can see Troy in the eyes.”

“Same with me the first time I saw him in a dress.” Vance replied.

“You know, after he got attacked, and then those pictures, I've wondered something.” Scotty turned to face Vance, by straddling the bench. Did Bruce really cut off his penis? Like everyone said? Is that why Troy does it?”

“Bruce didn't cut off his penis. But they did destroy his testicles.” Vance answered. “They kicked him so hard in the crotch, they crushed his nuts.”

“Ugh.” Scotty replied, scrunching up his nose in discomfort. “So, is that why he does it?”

“I don't know.” Vance said with the shake of his head. He knew Tracy's feelings about being a girl, but he wasn't sure he wanted Scotty to know, just in case Scotty had a big mouth. “I just know, when he is in a dress, he seems sure of himself. And he's not a pansy. Did you know that after Bruce, Kenny and Frankie crushed his nuts, broke his ribs and beat the tar out of him, he managed to get back up and protect our elderly grandma. He took on all three at once, while injured. I think he fought them for well over two minutes while hurt. It was only when my parents got to them that he let Bruce go and collapsed from the pain.”

“How much did he hurt? I remember stepping on a rake once and it hit me there. I couldn't move for an hour.”

“Well, a week in the hospital, then the two weeks of walking slow, until Bobby Anderson tripped him.”

“Yeah, then he went into the hospital again, right?” Scotty asked and Vance nodded.

“Bobby tore out his stitches. Troy could have bled to death if they hadn't taken him to the hospital.” Vance said, but then he smiled at Scotty. “But Troy got back at Bobby. Clark came over to the house not this past weekend, but the weekend before and Tracy fought both him and Bobby, at the same time. And won.”

“Well, Clark was a bit of a wimp. Always had Bruce to fight for him.”

“Well, he did show up with his cousins. But I think if we had let him, Troy would have taken them all out.”

“Really?” Scotty asked, clearly surprised.

“Yeah. Troy had friends up and he made sure that they got in the house so Clark couldn't hurt them, only him.” Vance stated. “He's learning martial arts from an old Chinese dude. Like straight from China. He looks like an older, shorter Bruce Lee. His granddaughter is a friend of Troy's. In fact she was there when your Mom went after Troy. I know the two girls she attacked. One of them is six and her sister was really cute.”

“You know, there are times I can't stand Mom. She has all these rules and expects us to live like the bible wants, but she must read a different bible. She's always gossiping about people, telling lies she has heard, she doesn't want us watching TV. But she does. She always thinks she is better, but I've done some reading and it's in the bible that you should treat others like you want to be treated, but she don't do that.”

“I know my mom has been reading her bible more, but after we left the church, we never went to another one.”

“Was it because of those women?” Scotty asked. “The lesbian ones?”

“Yeah. Your Mom threatened anyone who supported them, at least that's what I've heard my parents say when they talk about it. They were talking about it after she came to the house a couple weeks ago?”

“Mom was at your house?”

Vance nodded. “Yeah, she came over the weekend those pictures were spread around. I guess she threatened to run the family out of town.”

“Really?”

Yeah. She tried telling Mom and Dad that Tracy was a danger...”

“Who is Tracy?”

Vance stopped as he realized he had slipped. He sighed and decided that damage was done, but to tell Scotty anyway. “Tracy is Troy's new name. Tracy is my sister. She is living in the Bay Area now, not he. She will be going to a school as a girl in a year.”

“You know, it's weird, but the more I thought about Troy...er, Tracy, the more every thing he...she did seemed girlish.”

“Tracy thinks she should have been born a girl and we have several doctors that agree. So since Clark fucked things up here...”

“Clark? How did he mess it up?”

“Clark took those pictures, but he also sent them to my parents work and had his cousin calling the house.”

“Stan?”

“No, an older cousin. He was calling and telling Tracy that he was going to rape her, rape and murder Mom, kill Dad and me, then rape her again and finally kill her, after making her watch him kill us all.”

“That...that's sick.” Scotty replied.

“Well, Clark came to the house, but the cops had found out that it was him, so he is in jail for sending death threats through the mail and Tracy beat him bad and all she did was slap him like a little twit.”

“Wow....”

Vance nodded. “So Mom and Dad decide to send Tracy to the Godparents and then in June, Dad and I will move down. Kinda sucks, but after leaving Bruce as a friend, I haven't made many more friends.”

“There's always me.” Scotty said. “Although Mom said that we were not to speak to you or Tracy, ever again. But now she's in the funny farm....”

“You can't tell anyone about Tracy.” Vance warned Scotty. “I mean it. We're not out of here yet and last thing we need is to have more people try and murder my Mom.”

“I won't tell. Not even my stupid mother.”

~o~O~o~

Sage went into Doctor Ivan's office and sat on the couch as he went to his usual chair. “Hello young lady. You seem a bit distracted.” He said.

“Sorry, just thinking about a problem that happened earlier today.”

“Oh, tell me about it.” Ivan politely prodded.

“Well, it didn't really happen to me.” Sage said.

“Sage, it has you thinking. So it clearly has involved you. But if you don't wish to speak about it, I can accept that.”

Sage thought about it for a moment, then she looked up. “It's like this....” And she laid out the story as she had heard it from Rachel and Brooke. When she finished she looked up at him. “Now Rachel thinks Tracy hates her, no matter how much I've told her she isn't responsible for Tracy getting hard. She thinks because Tracy hates her body, and Rachel's body caused her to get hard, that Tracy will hate her. Tracy is at Brooke's thinking that people will hate her...And I just wonder what would happen if they saw me? Would Rachel freak out? Would Tracy run off if her body got excited for seeing me?” Sage looked up at him, sadness in her eyes. “Would anyone get excited to see me naked?”

“Sage, I'm sure that you will meet someone who is happy to be with you, no matter what you look like.” Ivan replied, leaning back in his chair. “But you're just twelve, that's a bit early to worry about that, don't you think?”

“Yeah.” Sage said with a nod.

“But you have real concerns. I can see this. You've been very nervous about your body for as long as I have known you.”

“Yeah.” Sage nodded. “I know it's not that big, but I really hate that my body looks like it does, you know, down there.”

“I know, Sage. There are things that can be done. Surgeries, but I think waiting another year for your body to grow is still a good bet.”

“But what if it grows in that time? Then I have more skin that's in the way....”

“Sage, I think we have ways to deal with it. But if you want, we can bring your mother in and we can discuss it all together. Would that be okay?”

Sage nodded. “Please.”

~o~O~o~

Class was over and Brooke rolled over to where Tracy was at. “Hey, Mom is gonna be a bit. Wanna go see the store fronts or something? Grandma is staying to help Grandpa with his class so Mom is your ride home.”

“Sure, I guess.” Tracy sadly replied.

“So, you feeling any better?” Brooke asked as they left the school.

“A little I guess.” Tracy replied. “Is Rachel okay? You saw her at school, right?”

“Yeah, she was there. She's worried that she did something wrong.”

“It wasn't her.” Tracy shook her head, then gestured down to her crotch. “Its this stupid body. Why me, Brooke? Why?”

“I know.” Brooke answered her back and she grabbed at Tracy's hand, making her friend stop walking. “Things happen. I don't have the answers. I just know that somethings you're faced with difficulty and it's like a test. It is how you deal with that problem that defines you. Take you for instance. You were born wrong but you've done your best to hold your head up high. You're a good friend and worried about others. You're a special girl.”

“She has a point.” Karen said, causing both girls to flinch.

“Mom! Don't do that!”

“Sorry. I saw you two and decided to see if you were ready to grab something to eat. I called Lynn and told her I'd make sure Tracy ate before we went back. Plus this way, we can enjoy a nice talk.”

~o~O~o~

Karen pulled up to Rachel's house and Tracy slid over to the door. “Thank you for the ride, Mrs. Han.”

“You're welcome, Tracy. I'm glad to be able to help.”

“You really think she won't mind?”

“Like I said at dinner, Rachel is worried about you. You scared her and she thinks you hate her for what happened to your body.” Karen said. “And if you cherish this friendship, you'll go in there and you two can talk and settle your problems now. I know you hate your body, but in running away from Rachel, that will just hurt you two and all the girls.”

“Okay.”

“See you tomorrow?” Brooke asked her.

Tracy nodded. “Yeah, after school, right?”

“Yeah. You with Grandma, or Rachel's Mom?”

“I don't know yet.” Tracy admitted.

“Lynn tomorrow, I think.” Karen stated.

“You're back!” Rachel said as the door flew open. She rushed to the car and opened up Tracy's door, then leaned in and hugged her tightly. When she finally let go of Tracy, she smiled at her, taking a moment to brush some hair out of her face. “How was class?”Tracy noticed out of the corner of her eye that Sage was there as well.

“It was good.” Tracy replied.

“Hey, Brooke!”

“Can I hang out, Mom?” Brooke asked. “Just for a little while?

“Sure. It will give me a moment to talk to Lynn.”

A few minutes later, Tracy, Rachel, Sage and Brooke all ended up in the living room and Tracy was scared as to what Rachel would do.

“Rachel, I'm sorry for freaking out on you this morning.” Tracy said, putting her arms around Rachel. “It's just that you have something I don't and I can't help looking at it. I asked Brooke and she said I could tell you that this past Christmas, I was at her house and I watched her strip for bed and couldn't help but watch. You two have the body parts I want....” Tracy began to cry and Rachel just held her close.

“It's okay.” Rachel said as Brooke held Tracy's hand. “I understand.”

“I didn't want things to be weird.” Tracy said. “Because I think you're both beautiful, too. That's why it got.....”

“That’s why you were excited?” Rachel stated in a questioning manner. And Tracy nodded at her, but looked to the floor.

“I shouldn't have left early and I'm sorry if I hurt you.”

“You scared me.” Rachel replied. “And I thought you hated me because I made you get hard.”

“I thought you'd hate me and I hated myself for this stupid thing.” Tracy felt Brooke hold one of her hands and Sage pressed up to her backside and the three of them held her.

Sage put her chin on Tracy's shoulder and spoke softly, but loud enough for Brooke and Rachel to hear. “Tracy. They went through this with me. We know you hate your body and we'll do what we can to help you out. Sure, it may not seem like much, but if we can help, then we will.”

“Yeah.” Rachel said.

“We won't hold it against you when you have issues.” Brooke stated. “We know it happens and you can't control it. We'll do our best to ignore it and you're still one of the girls.”

“Yeah.” Sage and Rachel agreed.

~o~O~o~

Tracy was stepping into the bedroom, after dressing for bed in the bathroom and she smiled at Rachel, who was already dressed in her night shirt.

Tracy lay down a moment later, the light switched off, then she felt the bed shift and Rachel slipped under the covers. “You don't mind, right?”

“No, I don't.” Tracy said as she reached over and touched Rachel's side. “And I promise, no raspberries.”

“Good, cause I'll return the favor.” Rachel said with a smile. Tracy flipped over and Rachel snuggled up against her back. “I'm so glad you're my friend.” Rachel said. “You're a lot of fun to be with.”

“Thanks.” Tracy squeezed a hand that lay over her side.

Up next, more fun with Tracy and some of Maggie and William