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My sister-in-law sent me a message regarding my post on being attracted to men, and I think I need help understanding what shes saying. Here is the quote:
"Have you ever stopped to consider that not only was your first sexual relationship was with a guy, but your longest as well? I certainly remember you were very attracted to females young but that was theory, what your physical experience was with a male. Sometimes based on how often you talk and think about those days, I wonder if you ever left that relationship or if it just became something different inside you."
opinions?
Comments
Most women like men
Lots of women are bisexual too. I don't see conflating assault/abuse/rape with a true sexual relationship. If she had been molested by a woman, would she be a lesbian now?
Some women post transition like women, some like men. Some were always heterosexual women inside.
Gay isn't the same as becoming the woman you were always meant to be. Not even close. In this world it would be easier to just become a gay man than transition your entire life into a new gender. Its an unfair question that's only purpose is do shake your confidence in yourself.
I don't recall you saying you weren't still attracted to women...
{{Hugs}}
Frank
Not right...
I do not consider being a victim of sexual abuse a relationship on the victims part, especially if it was not consensual. Almost sounds republican, rape as a casual sexual encounter, which is sick.
Don't let it bug you.
It is hard to guess what she is trying to say. If she is stating that your "first sexual relationship was with a guy", no one should consider child abuse/rape or what-ever was done to you to be a "relationship". If the abuse went on for years, its length does not change the nature of the act done against you.
As to you thinking and talking about those days, I am sure you do so not because you enjoyed them, or becuase of the "relationship" you had with that person but because, the event was so traumatic and life altering.
I am sure you haved talked with a professional regarding the cause(s)/source of your gender situation. I am sure that has included the events she is alluding to. Let the professional guide you through this.
Your sister-in-law may mean well (I do not know the dynamics there) but unless she is a trained cousellor/psychologist etc. her basis for her comments are the idiots on TV.
Rami
RAMI
Think outside the box
By saying,'your first sexual relationship was with a guy, but your longest as well'; I think your first experience was with yourself in your own physical body.
I could be mistaken but suggest that you stop obsessing.
People
The number of times I have read your blog seem to lead me always to the same conclusion........ All your in-laws are nothing but a bunch of assholes, crude ,stupid inconsiderate assholes.... where do they figure that Rape & molestation are part of a relationship??/ People like those are to me a waste of oxygen & tell them who I am I'll gladly face them
need opinions
I am confused! I thought that your first sexual relationship was with a girl.
May Your Light Forever Shine
I think concentrate on who
I think concentrate on who you are it's nobody's business who you like. You don't have to fit anyone's mold. You are you and that's all that matters. Jenn.
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Dear Dottie,
Since you want our opinions, mine is: completely disregard this comment from your sister-in-law. For future comments from her; if they make you feel ashamed of yourself, yuckie, sick to your stomach, etc. don't waste any more time on them,in fact, try to get them out of your head. If the comment sounds reasonable, you can consider it, just look for traps, subtle poisons, etc. I don't know her, so don't know if she sometimes (or always) is trying to bring you down, is sometimes helpful or if she's just too stupid to understand if something would make you feel bad or not.
Remember Gal, you are super-intelligent! Think about your advanced reading skill when you were young. You are just not going to meet many people as smart (in some things) as you are. You'll have to expect a little random stupidity; if something sounds messed up, don't automatically think that you are at fault somehow. Dumb people can't help it!
Don't worry about your sexuality. It could turn out to be anything or even nothing. Wanting to know the sex/gender of someone you meet is hard-wired in people, but you might try to ignore it. You could try to accept each persyn as an individual; if the persyn is interesting for any reason, you could try to get to know er. If this turns to love (post-op, just to be safer) or even lust, you could consider going with that feeling, if it is mutual and still not worry about the gender of this person.
Personally, I used to value new experiences that I think might be rewarding or pleasurable. Starting out, I would probably try it with a guy, just for the experience, but that is somewhat dangerous and certainly not what everyone would do. I found out the the sex (acts) with skilled guys could be great, but I still didn't like guys as people all that much. If I had found an atypical guy and we grew to love each other, I could have had that as a relationship. It's just that I'd met a good number of M2F's, thought some were the coolest people I'd ever known, and sought out Kim; we'd met once before. I was soon into a very satisfying relationship with her, so I didn't look any farther.
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee