Marty begins to make sense of some feelings but there are hints of darkness... Still confused by what is happening she slowly begins to expand her world at the Hospital. Still no answers yet but when Martine learns more, she will make sure you know.
Coming soon... "Part 4 - Brave New World"

I shuddered with the feelings my new body had. Nightmares? I Never had them. What were these? Visions of future, warnings by my subconscious mind? Or had someone or something done this to me? Whatever… here I was and had to make the best of things. I saw Angela coming into the room, holding two cups of what I hoped would be tea.

“Hi Martine, I heard the noise and thought you may need to talk about it?” She gave that open, trusting smile I was starting to like about her. Lovely blonde hair and jade green eyes, I had always liked that eye colour. There was that lovely comforting aura of professionalism and something else. It felt as though she really cared about her patients. Come to think about it, I never seemed to meet another nurse but perhaps that was just the shift patterns.

“It’s just a little ginger and lemon tea, it always helps me when I’ve been a little stressed and looking at the sheets, I guess that you have had some interesting dreams.”

“Thanks Angela, tea will certainly help. I think I had some strange dreams but they’re fading now and, well things must have been a little not normal for me to end up here” I laughed at my own not very funny joke.

“No, things have been most unusual but you really are going to get better and back to being who you are.” She held my hand as she reassured me.

“I don’t know, all this seems pretty new to me Angela. I really don’t remember much before I woke up in here. I’ve seen my I/d and stuff but apparently I have a new job but cannot remember with who, I wonder who this new Boss is?.” I laughed a little, “Funny isn’t it, I must have a whole new life before me but all I can think of is getting home and not making too much of a mess of things. And I’m still worried about the Police, I mean I don’t think I did anything wrong but sometime I hope to remember more.”

“That’s entirely natural Martine,“ she pursed her lips as she considered her response, “The Police will interview you but only when Dr Bain lets them and I don’t think that will be for a few days. Right now you need to recover and get some of your memory and strength back and then we can look to set you loose into the big wide world.” She frowned a little then suddenly that smile came back and it was like the room lit up. “Oh I know what will cheer you up Martine, I’ve found you a lovely nightshirt that will be so much nicer than the issue ones. After breakfast I’ll pop round with it. Trust me, you’ll love it, it is so you”.

“Breakfast, oh I should have dealt with that before shouldn’t I?” Oh heck had I missed something?

“No it’s early enough to get a decent choice and with a figure like yours I don’t have you down as the Full English type. Me I look at the five piece special and put on two pounds” That lovely giggle and if she did suspect I was going to overlook quite a bit to share those smiles.

“OK you’ve caught me out.” I held my hands up and admitted sheepishly “I do like the occasional bacon sandwich but I’m a yoghurt and muesli bar person the rest of the time. Grab and go that’s me.” Well I used to eat at my desk, Marty nomates, get in early and grab a tea and biccies. Wonder what I’ll do in future? Oh well, that’s something I will discover later…

“Me too Martine. Look, after Dr Bain’s rounds would you like to take a turn into the garden? A bit of sunshine and fresh air will help your recovery and introduce you to the wider world in a nice slow controlled manner.”

Oh heck, I’d forgotten that I would re-enter the wider world at some point and people will be looking at me as a woman!

“Um OK, I must look a fright though Angela. Will it be OK?”

“Of course Martine, the weather is a little cold but it’s going to be a lovely sunny day. Just what you want for your debut to the world.”

DEBUT?!! She knows? What is going on?

I must have looked shocked as Angela clarified…

“Martine, you were shot. You survived and you have your whole life ahead of you. Think of it as though you had another chance at life. It could have gone so very wrong Martine. You could be somewhere else completely. That man who took the full force of those bullets gave something wonderful for someone he had never met.” She looked a little sad at the thought of the loss.

“Oh Angela, did you know him?” I asked quietly, I didn’t remember her….

“No, he was still young and the Trauma Team said all he asked about was were you OK and to tell his sister he loved her.”

Well I didn’t remember that but I did feel that way about Gail… Hey I went out a Hero, how about that? But that rather puts the mockers on a dream, or does it?

“He sounded pretty special, it’s a shame when somebody young has to die” I felt tears grow in my eyes. I was always liable to tears and just my luck, this body lets them go even easier… Still, keep schtum Marty, nobody is going to believe it. Can you imagine the Psych group? “Hello my name is Martine, I’m really a dead guy called Marty… Oh and aren’t these straitjackets sooo darling!” Best give that a miss. If this is a dream, play along and if I’m in a coma… well let’s see where we go.

“Hey, hey” she cooed gently, “There will always be a little Survivors Guilt and it is to your credit that you realise what a special gift he gave you.” She gently squeezed my fingers and stood up. “Got to go now Martine, breakfasts to make sure of and Dr Bain runs a tight ship when it comes to this unit. Catch you later OK?” With that she glided out of the room leaving me with my thoughts.

Oh crap Freud would have a field day with this one… If I’m dead surely I get the Pearly Gates and St Peter treatment? No, looks like I’m stuck between places and got the complimentary gender switch thrown in. Well play along and perhaps there’s a way back to my life…

Breakfast was the promised yoghurt and muesli special. Funny though, it did taste different, possibly better, than I remembered. I felt nervous at the idea of being out in public but like anything else in life, you just have to face things. There were a number of other nurses and assorted people cleaning, fetching and carrying. Odd, I didn’t remember noticing them before. Oh well, I did have an excuse for being a little self-centred and not paying too much attention to my surroundings or if it was a dream I suppose it was expanding. Still so far it’s not been too bad.

Dr Bain made his (their I was more and more sure that there were two of them, like Yin and Yang) rounds. I was poked and prodded but pronounced well enough to be allowed to visit the Atrium and Garden, under supervision. One other benefit was I was relieved (so to speak) to be allowed to use the Ladies Facilities rather than the bedpan I had suffered with up to then. Honestly, I almost begged to be back on those tubes the first time I tried using one. Talk about having different plumbing! Angela and another nurse, Bronwyn I think she was called were suitably supportive… NOT! By the time we had sorted everything out all of us were laughing so things worked out. Bronwyn was a lovely mature lady from Cardiff with such a dreamy welsh accent, raven black hair and an infectious laugh like water over stones in a mountain brook.

Both she and Angela shared duties in the Unit and the shifts were not quite the same as normal Hospitals so that accounted for Angela always appearing to be there. Bronwyn had moved up here after her parents died to be nearer the rest of her family.

“OK Martine, time for your first steps dear.” Bronwyn smiled warmly as Angela wheeled in a wheelchair.

“Don’t worry, you won’t be too great on your feet at first. You may feel a little wobbly but if you don’t make an effort you will be here much longer.” Angela encouraged as she held the chair about six feet from the bed. “And, of course, unless you wanted a repeat of your experience with the bed pan, the sooner the better eh?” Again with that smile but she had a point, there was NO way I was going to do that again.

OK here goes nothing, I swung to one side of the bed and let my new slender legs dangle toward the ground. Nice pretty toenails, still had their bright red polish on them. Must get a pedicure soon though…Now where did that come from? Taking a deep breath I stood up.

And promptly sat down again with an “Eeeek!”. That floor was COLD! Wriggling my toes I tried again, prepared for the shock only to have my balance thrown for a loop. I expected some balance issues from the new superstructure but thought it would be like wearing a buoyancy aid when I went canoeing. OK, wrong… brimming over with wrong actually. Looks like there are more issues than I thought. Hips definitely not my old set and much more mobile, breasts (best get used to those Marty) more, well wobbly. Hey until you’ve got your own you really don’t appreciate the balance issues. As for my BTM, well I thought it would bend light! Probably pretty trim but I felt a lot more padding than I was used to.

“It’s OK” Angela grinned, “you will be more sensitive to the lino than you were but next time, remember your slippers” she pointed to a plain pair of sandals that I hadn’t noticed when I first swung out. Typical male, I just swung out of bed and shambled about, must remember that I’m flying a new body and it isn’t the one I used to have. Now what else have I forgotten? Dressing gown, genius… With a sheepish grin I grab the offered gown and wrap it about me. Angela has an eyebrow arched and a look of gentle amusement. She MUST know by now, I am a total fraud and I’m soooo doomed.

“Ready?” Angela smiled. If she knew or suspected anything she was a very good actress.

“I think so, did I forget anything?” I asked quietly.

“No honey, you got there in the end. You’re not blonde are you?” she teased.

Wrapping a lock of hair about my fingers, I noted the raven colour of my hair and smiled back “Perhaps I dyed it?” and giggled at my own joke.

“OK, hang on, it’s not too far and you’ll really like the Atrium, the flowers are lovely” With that, she gave the wheelchair a push and we started out of the room and along the corridor…
”ƒ

Funny, I smelt the Atrium long before we arrived. Angela must have been a frustrated formula one driver as we sped along the corridors with me initially squealing with fright as we passed between porters, nurses and patients but gradually collapsing into gales of laughter at the sheer joy of our progress. The smell of flowers and orchids was heady and again I wondered at the changes I had undergone. Touch now sense of smell was sharper, I wondered what else I would encounter.

The Atrium was a wide glass covered enclosure filled with ornamental flower beds, even a tree right at the centre. No idea what sort, one of those ornamental pine types I normally thought as big bonsai trees. There were a number of patients sat in comfortable chairs and wheelchairs. Some wandering about talking with each other and the staff. I brought my hand to the side of my face as I brushed my hair away from my face.

“Angela, I must look a complete fright mustn’t I?”

“No dear, just relax, remember you are recovering from quite the trauma so wouldn’t be expected to have makeup etc on just yet” she reassured me as terror began to well in my heart.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw something that brought the growing feeling of terror to the surface. A woman, sat in a wheelchair, skin beginning to turn grey and rotten… I turned to look and she disappeared, the reflection was me! Looking a little pale and drawn but the look of surprise and horror brought a surprised “Eeek!” from me.

“What is it Martine? You look like you’ve seen a ghost dear.” Angela began to calm me down. “I know you’ve been a little self-conscious about your face but really you are fine and everything will turn out for the best. What brought this on dear? You can tell me, nobody will be unhappy with you.”

“I thought… I thought I saw something… horrible. I suppose you have been keeping me from a mirror, do I look a fright?” I stammered out a response as my mind went into full blown panic! I’m DEAD… I’m DEAD… I’m DEAD!

“Hey, hey it’s OK, you just had a little surprise that’s all. Dr Bain said you are OK but need to be introduced slowly into the world so these little panic attacks are to be expected and really they are nothing to worry about. Everything will be fine and things will work themselves out Martine.” Angela held my trembling hands as I started to calm down from the surprise.

Hang on, if I’m dead why the charade? Maybe this is just a test, I’m lying in Hospital and by getting better and ready for the real world I’m going to recover… Yes, go with that one Marty. Worry about the Martine part later if it’s all an illusion then go with it and get back to life. That’s it Marty, fight to go home, fight to get back to Gail… Mind you, you may have some explaining to do if you go back as Martine. Was that what the dream was about? I really didn’t like that whoever it was… and now I think on it, that “offer” could go two ways — I’ve lost my life and my gender. What have I gained? I’ve a new life haven’t I and what else?

Who was Martine? What happened when we collided? If I survived, what happened to her? If she took my place at the Pearly Gates I hoped she was at peace and with those who loved her.

I found myself smiling and drifting off surrounded by the delicate scents of the flowers…