OK, let’s be clear, I was the original 10 stone weakling. Not muscled but, I suppose, what others would call a “Geek”. I loved reading and research, spent many an evening or a summer afternoon sat in the garden with a book. But despite all that, I loved my family and would do anything to protect my little sister.

My sister, Gail, was a delicate ash blonde girl, 10 years younger than I. Perhaps a foot shorter than me and equally academically inclined, she was the scientist to my general knowledge. I went into the Civil Service as, well a pen-pusher if I’m brutally honest. Gail went to Uni and graduated with a Degree in Biology with and was well on the way to a career in medicine.
Socially, I was the original “Odd One Out”, few really close friends, mostly colleagues with whom I might say “Hello” to but conversation didn’t really go beyond that. I lived my life out of a non-descript flat, bedroom, bathroom and living room cum-kitchen. Again, the opposite of Gail, vivacious and quite the social butterfly she made friends faster than I made tea. The nearest I got was helping out with the Boy Scouts and saying “Hi” to people I passed when I was walking the Lakes or Peak District, wild social life it was not.

By dint of lots of overtime, not taking time off sick or anything I rose to the dizzy heights of pen-pusher after 10 years. Oh I suppose were I not the social recluse I had become I might have played politics but I really had no interest in that sort of thing at all. Gail was working with her University, part of the Science Faculty working on, well frankly I didn’t have a clue, but she said it was “hush-hush” for some company. Well, you know the best way to keep a secret is not to know it and I thought by not wanting to know, I was helping her. Look, I know now! Not that it is going to do me any good now.

“Hey sis, how’s the lotion and potion business going?” Well, I didn’t claim to be a comedian either.

“Marty, it is real research and you know it!” she grinned back, “Look, I know you don’t make an effort to find out what I do”

“Too true sis, you know I don’t want the powers that be thinking I am some Industrial spy trying to steal your secrets. That’s why I keep it at arm’s length, to protect you from rumour and innuendo.”

“That’s more like my big brother, always looking out for me” she grinned.

“You know I would do anything to look after you, that’s what big brothers are for. Anyway, back to the desk grind for me tomorrow, chained to my desk and bored out of my tree”

A hug and I left for my home leaving Gail to wrestle with whatever it was. Driving home in the one luxury I allowed myself, a restored MG Midget. Bright yellow, 1500cc late production it was the first car I ever owned and after keeping it at my parents, I now had it back on the road. Letting the girl come to life (very few machines are anything other than a she) I took her back along the main roads, stopping for coffee and a burger in a quiet suburb that seemed reasonably well heeled and clean.

Walking back to the MG, I heard shouts, footsteps, a woman from the pitch. Click… click… click…
A tall dark haired lady bumped my shoulder, causing me to turn…

What… The… Hell…

Two massive THUMPS and loud BANGS as fire and pain engulfed my chest… The ground seemed to fall up and my face made contact as the world went… Well blank…

I didn’t believe all that “Go to the Light” stuff I heard but was about to have my opinion changed rather forcibly.

“Gaargh!” My mouth feels like a Geisha Girls… Fortunately that little comment never made it past “Gaargh”.

“Hold it sweetie, I’ll get you some water but please don’t try to talk just yet” a melodic and very female voice cooed.

Eyes firmly closed, I felt a straw at my lips and sucked gently. The feel of cold water on my tongue and mouth was lovely and the feeling on my throat was heavenly.

“OK, that’s enough for the moment. I’ll bring you more in a minute but keep your eyes closed while I adjust the lights”

Glittering conversationalist that I was I let that pass with a grunt.

“OK you can open your eyes now honey” The voice came again.

“Honey?” I thought, nobody spoke to me like that. Just my luck, she’s probably married or engaged. Still, I had to know, what the heck happened? Well here goes nothing… I opened my eyes…

Well the Hospital Room was all I expected. Clean, white and smelled of that institutional cleaner that only Hospitals use. The lights came up slowly so I was able to begin taking in my surroundings. Right up to the point I realised I had either lost a lot of weight or had some serious surgery. My chest felt funny, not uncomfortable but there was a lot of weight there that I didn’t remember. Probably the bandages from the whatever happened to me. (Look I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer when I wake up so sue me). Arms a little thinner than before and a lot less hair than I remembered but I put that down to the treatment I must have had. What I DID notice was the needles and IV in my arm along with the straps holding me down on the bed. NOW I thought I was in trouble (See, genius at work eh?).

A rather pretty nurse entered my line of sight, I couldn’t see the door though.. But from her movements I thought she was the Nurse who woke me up earlier.

“Hi honey, I know you are worried about the straps, they are for your safety not to keep you prisoner. Now you are awake we can look at getting them removed. We just wanted the IV’s etc to stay in place so you’d recover faster.

“About that, what happened to me?” I croaked and then stopped. I sounded different as though my voice was higher pitched now.

“You were shot dear. You were very lucky that man was there. He took the bullets that were meant for you.”

“Whaaa?” I feel my body freeze as the shock takes over. What happened? My world turns black.

I return to the world feeling a gentle hand on my forehead. The nurse again I suppose. “My name is MARTY!” my mind screams as my eyes open and see the nurse again. More to the point, I see manicured nails and a chest from a direction that I am more used to ogling at. “What is going on?”

“Hello dear, I know it hurts right now but the IV will keep the pain down. You were lucky that man bumped into you or you’d have swapped places.” She smiled gently, concern clear on her face.

“Swapped places? Of course we swapped places so now I’m dead or a woman or both! Where’s Gene Hunt when you need him? Keep your mouth shut Marty or it’s a one way trip to the Rubber Room for you because they are never, ever going to believe this. Heck I don’t believe this but here I am and I’d best get used to it and sharpish.”

“Shot? When, where? I’m sorry I don’t remember a thing but, well bangs pain and then I woke up here”

“Well you’ve been out for a few days, almost a week. You were in a coma and I think you’ll remember things really soon but the Doctors will help too. They’ll be by soon now you’ve woken up” She gave a reassuring smile as I faded back into blissful sleep.