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I was reading this book about a woman who has a breakdown on my breaks at work, and it got me thinking about visiting my brother in the mental ward when we were both kids.
The interesting thing is although I can remember the place, the decorations on the Christmas tree, everything except one detail.
My brother himself.
I cant recall seeing him, hearing about how he was doing at all, not that visit or any other time while he was gone.
Its like my brain did a little editing and simply removed all traces of him while he was in there, so that I can still remember the nightmares I had of ending up there myself, but he could have just gone to a camp for all the memories I have of him there.
Weird, huh?
Comments
Why ?
Why was this woman having a breakdown while you were on break at work?
I know exactly what you're talking about. We tend to erase or bury, not record things that are unpleasant or traumatic, and not fully explained to us. I imagine you've mentioned this before, but how is your brother doing now?
Portia
the woman is in a book I found
which got the conversation going in that direction.
My brother is fine, He's happily married, works as a computer programer. He's also opposed to my transition on religious grounds.
So he's not over it, obviously
I am so sorry. I am for your transition, and religion has nothing to do with it. All that matters is that it's right for you. Watch out for misplaced modifiers.
Hugs,
Portia
Learned something from an old memory
Check your Family Tree to help remember him. Ancestry.com/FamilyTree http://wiz.ancestry.com/?exp=ps&o_ps=merlin&o_xid=21892&o_li... Genealogy.com http://www.genealogy.com/search/?o_xid=21892&o_lid=21892&o_s...
May Your Light Forever Shine
I had that happen
I have the memory of when the cops came to remove me from my mother's and step father's house. For the life of me, I can't remember my sister in that memory, though I know that she was there. Oh well, probably a reason I don't remember it.
Katie Leone (Katie-Leone.com)
Writing is what you do when you put pen to paper, being an author is what you do when you bring words to life
With all of the trauma...
...in the context of such an abusive and painful childhood, it's wonder you can recall the 'good' parts... Not being able to remember your brother there might be a protective mechanism your brain developed to cope; not an uncommon reaction to those of us deal with PTSD. I have no doubt that you'll remember eventually when you're 'ready' to handle it; being able to 'stay' in the present will help ground you. My prayers, dear
Love, Andrea Lena
Gaps and holes and such
It's something to think about. For most of my adult life I had almost no memories of my mother, even though I was 17 or so when she died. Over the years I poked and prodded at memories of my childhood. I've been quite started by things my siblings have recalled about her.
All I can think is that something's painful there. Not necessary in the gaps we *know* are there, but if those gaps were filled in, we'd remember other stuff, and that's what's really being hidden.
That's my theory, anyway.