Timeout 4, Reel to Real: A Whateley Academy Fan fiction, Chapter 9

Joanie meets one of her idols, who prefers to be called Jen, they talk, have lunch and she gets an invitation to appear on a TV show. The narration duties for NOVA finish up. Joanie gets a shocking surprise from a close friend and a whopping big surprise from her familiar. Oh, did I mention the idol is Jennifer Marie S...

Andy Warhol said,"In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes." What if your 15 minutes came late in life, and fame decided to never let you go? Could you survive the circus your life would become?

Timeout 4, Reel to Real: A Whateley Academy Fan fiction

This is fan fiction for the Whateley Academy series. It may or may not match the timeline, characters, and continuity, but since it's fan fiction, who cares? To see the canon Whateley Stories, check out either Sapphire's Place,

(http://www.sapphireplace.com/stories/whateley.html) or the Big Closet (http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/taxonomy/term/117)."

Here’s another chapter in part four of my TG/sci-fi/superhero/magic/one-size-fits-all epic. It’s not that bad; I do have an overall story arc in mind, honest. I’m much better than when I started this, though my grammar and spelling remain flawed; ask Itinerant if he is still coherent. (wibble - WIBBLE!!) Itinerant, you got free again? No more caffeine for you. What is this behind your back, The Idiot’s Guide to Escapology? (But ... but ... it's got PICTURES!!!! *drool*)

Your constructive criticism and advice continues to help. This is an exercise in the joys of creativity and in appreciation of the wonderful Whateley Universe. Any violations of copyright, trade mark or use of real people or incidents are purely for purposes of humor or parody and done solely for the free enjoyment of the reading public. All rights reserved in perpetuity, John from Wauwatosa WI, 2005-2007.

Adult content advisory: this chapter contains situations and topics unsuitable for young minds or your sanity. There is also some adult content written by a middle-age juvenile mind. You were warned.

Timeout 4

By John from Wauwatosa
Pronouns protected by Itinerant
Guest proofing, dialog suggestions and advice from To Be Announced
Special guest appearance by a possibly recognizable character
Test reading by Karen_J, an act of extreme bravery on her part

Chapter 9, Leah 5, M-m-my Jen-eration 2, Ring of Fire, *Mothers* Day — urrp!

Whateley Academy, Dunwich NH. And Boston, MA May 12-May 14, 2007

Noonish, Saturday May 12, 2007

I had been in the sound booth for what seemed hours, or standing by a green screen pointing at things that weren’t there, when the director left us for a few minutes. We — the crew and I -- got a message from her minutes later to go on break for 30 minutes. I went to see Pinky and find out how they were treating her and my kitty cats.

I walked down the halls towards the conference room I’d been told they’d be using. I saw my producer, Pinky -- sans smilodons -- and a woman with her hair in a tasteful, high ponytail. Though I only saw her from the back, I could tell her outfit was casual, but very upscale. The custom tailoring was obvious in the way the clothing hugged her figure. I recognized the quality in her clothes, and these were not your off-the-rack from K-Mart.

“Pinky, I’m on break for the next 25 minutes, want to grab some lunch? Did you get a chance to feed George and Gracie? I don’t want to ignore them, and I *know* Miki is famished. Thanks for the break, Ms. Russell, it was getting to be a grind. Oh, sorry didn’t introduce myself, I’m Joanie and you are …”

The woman turned, and my brain decided to flip-flop, then go AWOL. “Wha?” I stood there dumbstruck, and the expression on my face could not have been flattering. ~~So much for Ms. Cool-under-fire.~~ At least part of my brain was still functioning, sort of.

“That’s not the typical greeting I get, but it will do. I’m Jennifer Stevens, please call me Jen. I’ve wanted to meet you for some time, Ms. Brown; I’m a fan.”

“A fan of ME? I … I, ah … Well, I admit I’ve had some success singing, and I am in the public eye. Ghod knows why, it’s all dumb luck and being in the right place at the right time, or is that the wrong place and wrong time? You are a legitimate celebrity and deserve your fame. I keep waiting for my fame to crash and burn.” ~~You meet a genuine superstar, and you gibber like an idiot. *Great* first impression, Joanie … Ghod, now I think I need to go bathroom!~~

“Excuse me I have to ... Excuse me, I’ve got to go.” I ran to the women’s room, making it in time, just.

I returned to a snickering Pinky, a smiling producer, and Jen, who had a knowing look on her face. “Okay, what are you up to Pinky? Sorry, this is Miss Pamela Conners, my good friend from school, but everyone calls her Pinky.”

“We’ve been introduced, Joanie, but thanks. Jen was asking me all sorts of questions about myself and what I like and don’t like. And she knows about me, Joanie, I told her about my monthly shape shifting, and it didn’t faze her a bit that I’m in my *dual* form.” Pinky grinned happily.

“Having gone from a huge, arthritic man in his forties to *this*,” Jen swept a hand along herself like a model on 'The Price is Right' introducing a showcase, “little surprises me anymore. I just finished complementing Pinky on her choice of dress shortly before you met us. Looking at her I see a handsome, somewhat tomboyish young woman. Her voice is deep for a woman, but the way she speaks reminds me of Kathleen Turner, Fay Dunaway or even Lauren Bacall. All have deep voices, all sometimes dressed androgynously, but you would never confuse them with men. That Pinky is currently both sexes came as a complete surprise. Despite the difficulties this must present her, she strikes me as a well adjusted young woman. In my brief conversation with her, she has been witty and intelligent beyond her years. I see why you two are friends,“ Jen explained.

“I thank you for that, Jen. Pinky has had a hard time of it since her mutation and not all are accepting of her. It's taken time for her to become comfortable with her situation, and I’m so glad you see what a fine person she is. If you think she’s a looker now, just wait until you see her in her all female form. Pinky is fast becoming a heartbreaker.”

”You’re embarrassing me, Joanie, but thanks, and thank you too, Jen. Joanie, I was telling Jen how you don’t take yourself seriously. Jen was asking me all about school and stuff.”

“And stuff?” ~~What did you tell her, Pinky?~~

“What you are like; what you like to do; you know.”

“Whatever she told you, you must remember she’s just one of the many minions under my evil mutant influence.”

“Yes, Mistress,” Miki said, popping into view at my feet.

“What?” Both Jen and my producer exclaimed.

“Sorry, my friend here is very good at sneaking up on people, aren’t you Miki?”

“She spoke!”

“Yeah, Jen, but she’s not much of a conversationalist.

* * * *

"Miki, this is Jen Stevens. Jen, this is Miki. She has adopted me as her next Mistress; she *thinks* I might have the makings of a sorceress. She’s very ambitious for a mongoose.” I broke into a fit of giggles. I hoped Ms. Stevens didn’t believe I was really a sorceress. Hell, I didn’t believe it until Maui.

“Joanie, behave yourself. I thought I was the child here.”~~Smart move, Pinky, now Ms. Stevens will think I’m joking.~~

“Okay, Pinky. I was nervous, but I’m much better now. No laughs? I’m parodying John Astin from Night Court. C’ est la vie!”

“Tish! You spoke French! You know how that excites me!” Jen said as she grabbed me and did a theatrical kiss with me bowed way back.

“You watched the Addams Family on network TV? That’s right you’re nearly as old as me, Jennifer. You were born, what, early January 1958, it’s December 18, 1957 in my case. Ms. Russell can’t be more than 40 — I mean, she’s clearly in her prime -- so that makes me the oldest and obviously most mature person here.” Everyone snickered or smiled.

~~Joanie, I am far older. I am not certain how long I since I was born, but the British were not in the old land then.~~

~~Let’s keep that our secret, Miki.~~

“Joanie, were you *talking* to Miki? I sensed something,” Pinky whispered, and made quote marks around talking as she spoke.

“Yeah,” I whispered back. “Sorry there ladies, secret girl talk; it’s very hush-hush. Shall we get something to eat? I’m starved.”

There was a quiet buzzing sound. “Excuse me, ladies,” Ms Russell interrupted and took out a phone from her PBS tote bag.

“Yes … uh-huh … Are you certain? … Understood.

“Joanie, I have to play troubleshooter for a few hours for another production. Why don’t you and Pinky take a nice long lunch, say two hours? We can resume after that. Oh, Jen, your chair is ready for you anytime at loading bay two. Call this number when you are at the dock, and they’ll bring it straight out. Until later,” Ms. Russell said and hurried off.

“Joanie, Pinky, would you like to have lunch with me, my treat? I do have an ulterior motive; I would love to have you as a guest on Around Midnight. I guest host for Wayne on a regular basis.”

“I’ve seen you host the show; you’re very good,” I replied.

“I almost got to see your Mouse World attraction — The Future is Now -- but then I mutated and Mom and Dad canceled our trip,” said Pinky. She tried but could not keep from sniffling. I gave her a clean hanky to dry her eyes.

“You should go someday, Pinky. I’m proud of my association with the project. Let me know when you go, I can let them know you’re coming and to give you the VIP tour. There’s also a touring exhibit based on what was done in Florida. It’s not as impressive, but it uses much of the same technology. I could arrange for a behind the scenes tour there as well.”

“You’d do that for me? You barely know me!”

“I like being able to help people, and maybe this will persuade your elusive friend to come on the show,” Jen said and laughed.

“I *like* you, Jen, you’re my kind of woman. You’re young, beautiful, talented and sneaky,” I replied and broke up.

~~Might be fun to go to a theme park with the gang before we get much, I mean they get much older.~~

I made it this far without joking about that PBS tote bag; I am so proud of myself.

* * * *

Moments later, we were at the small conference room where George and Gracie were being kept.

“Pinky, I never did let you answer. Did they get fed?”

“I fed them less than an hour ago; they should be fine.”

“Want to meet my *cats*, Jen?”

“I love cats. I used to have one. My housekeeper has a great cat; Gillie accompanies her whether we are in my New York, Florida or LA home.”

“I must warn you, they are rather energetic, George and Gracie are still mostly kittens.”

“Energetic is not the word for it. They had me and the police dog trainer run ragged while you were out of town, Joanie.”

“Police dog trainer?”

“They’re being trained as police cats; I’m helping Joanie.”

“What, to sniff for bombs and drugs?”

“That’s part of it, though it’s more for the intimidation factor,” I replied.

“How intimidating can a cat be, and why are you smiling like that, Joanie?”

“Ready, Pinky?” She nodded, and I opened the door.

“Where are they … Oh my! WHAT are they?”

“At least you didn’t faint, Jen, though wait a year or two until they are fully grown. George, Gracie, say hi to Ms. Stevens.”

They came over, sniffed Jen for a while, then started rubbing against her legs.

“My, they are affectionate, but what are they?”

“Take a guess, Jen.”

“From their size, and your hinting, they will get much bigger, I’d guess them to be lion cubs, but the tails are wrong. They look more like bobcats or lynx, but much bigger given they clearly are kittens despite their size.”

“And so?”

“It’s the teeth that are throwing me off. Their necks seem too long for most cats, their backs slope wrong, too, but it’s those teeth … I can see their adult teeth coming in, and they’re going to be huge … like … No, that’s impossible!”

“What’s impossible? I’m having fun watching you struggle with this; you know that,” I said, snickering.

“Okay then, Miss Smarty-pants,’ Jen smiled and laughed. “I think they are smilodons, but that can’t be; they are extinct something like ten-thousand years.”

“Not as extinct as some might believe. These are a brother and sister pair of smilodons I managed to obtain. Let’s say our school is very special and leave it at that.”

“Special? Where do you ladies go to school, Bedrock High? There is a mystery here, but I’ll let you tell me in your own time, Joanie.”

* * * *

Pinky and I made sure the kitties were safely secured in the room, provided with fresh water and a clean litter box. I’d left Miki’s carrier with Pinky this time, so Miki was set as well. She was not happy to be left behind, but behaved herself after some persuasion.

~~Miki, I sense Ms. Stevens is a woman I can trust, but for now let’s not tell her everything, okay?~~ “Miki, stay. You can play with George and Gracie, if you are good. We won’t be gone long. ~~Guard the smildons, and let no one near them until we get back. Okay if Jen pets you, I mean Ms. Stevens?~~

~~I will protect your *children*, Joanie, but I should be with you … The Jen human may pet me.~~

“Jen, care to pet my mongoose? She knows to treat you as a friend.”

“That’s an offer I don’t get every day. Hi, Miki,” she said and stroked the mongoose. “Her fur is surprisingly soft, softer than the raccoon I raised as a child. And you *say* she’s your familiar?” Jen asked playfully, but I got the feeling she wasn’t completely convinced I was joking.

“Miki is a fastidious animal, and the three of them help groom each other. A familiar? Jen, do *I* look like a witch to you?” I grinned and snickered. Pinky slapped a hand over her mouth.

“Pinky, you’re right; Joanie is a loon. I see why you like her.”

"Time for us to go ladies,” I announced.

My three *children* were grooming each other. as we left.

* * * *

“I’ll call and get us a cab. I know this great Italian restaurant; I go there whenever I’m in Boston.”

“Save the cab fare, Jen; I have my crew cab. I know it seems silly, a mere slip of a girl in a huge three-quarter ton 4X4, but I’m building a house, so it comes in useful.”

“I have a Ram 1500 with the big Hemi V8; it looks a lot like the truck in the film Twister. I’d love to see yours, Joanie.”

“It’s a Ford.”

“Well, nobody’s perfect.”

“Joe E. Brown in Some Like it Hot. I love that film. And Daphne — Jack Lemon’s character -- was right, women are like a whole different species. I know that from personal experience now, not that I’m complaining. Follow me, Jen, please?”

* * * *

“This is some truck; from its appearance it isn’t stock. What kind of mileage do you get?”

“Better than you’d think. It’s powered by the latest in reversible fuel-cell technology and has all-wheel drive. It has the police/emergency handling package, bullet and blast resistant passenger compartment, run-flat tires, and a few extras as well. Take it easy on the throttle; she’s fast off the line,” I said, tossing Jen the keys. “Oh, be careful with the switches, or the machine guns and ejector seat might fire,” I added and giggled. “I couldn’t resist. Sometimes I swear this truck is straight out of a Bond film. My name is Bond, Joan Bond. No applause? My Sean Connery isn’t the best.”

“Connery? I thought you were doing Walter Brennan.”

“Now that is plain cruel, Jen. I’m impressed.”

“How fast is it?”

“I’ve never taken it to its maximum speed, but it would beat any vintage Corvette Stingray … easily.”

We got in, and after adjusting everything to her body — I am tall for a woman, not that she’s short by any measure — we drove to the restaurant. She drove carefully out of the parking structure and onto the street. The street was completely clear, Jen touched the *gas* pedal and …

“Yes!” Jen shouted. “I have got to get me one of these.”

Yup, she floored it. And you all thought I was going to make some lame reference to the film Independence Day -- shame on you. I think we went from zero-to sixty to zero in ten seconds; a red light spoiled Jen’s fun. Bits of me took longer to come to rest.

“My *baby* meets your approval, Jen? Can I have my stomach back, please?”

“But you drive like tha …”

“Pinky, it’s not nice to tattle.”

I think we turned a few heads in nearby vehicles, laughing as we did.

* * * *

“Why the rocket sled, Joanie? You said you’re building a home, but why such a fast truck?”

“I admit I like that it has decent power.”

“Saying this has decent power is a gross understatement, Joanie, and I drive a Dodge Viper.”

“I am part-time security at the Academy so it needs to be fast, and to be honest, I have this nagging fear about being kidnapped.”

“Back last Halloween, in Madison; I saw it on the news. They say in show biz there is no such thing as bad publicity. Your *rescue* from the kidnappers was hot news for a while. I suspect your brief moment of nakedness contributed to that as well. Personally I don’t think I’d care to launch a recording career that way. It must have been terrifying, Joanie. How you handled the press afterwards was pure genius.”

“I had nightmares for a while; the kidnappers did some things to me I prefer not to talk about.” Jen cringed involuntarily; I continued, “The whole press incident was a combination of outrage at what the kidnappers did to the crowd and I and at those damned cameras. I was so angry I didn’t have the time to be frightened. The whole incident did ultimately lead to my going to the Academy, so good came out of it.”

* * * *

“Why are you here in Boston, Jen? Not to see me, I’ll wager?”

“I was in town to meet with Faith Bowie, the writer/producer of Erin Flynn. It’s the cable TV detective show Alexis Eden stars in. Faith lives in Connecticut much of the year, but comes to Boston when they film the show. I’ve done a cameo and directed an episode. Have you seen the show?”

“No, but then this last year has been a busy one. I’ve seen almost no TV since my mutation. I did see that adventure film Alexis did … Minotaur? We have film nights in our huge cafeteria at school; the boys particularly insisted we show it. I don’t blame them; she is a lovely young woman. For an action film with corny dialog, she was convincing in her role. The woman has screen presence, whatever that means."

“What was that back at the studios about a chair, Jen?”

“As to the chair, Joanie, I saw Norm Abram on the New Yankee Workshop build this gorgeous upholstered cigar chair. I don’t smoke, but that leather covered chair looked so comfortable I just had to have one. I contacted the show, and eventually Norm, about buying one from him, but they were long since auctioned off to raise funds for the station. I met with Norm, turned on the charm, and I got him to make another one for me. I’m a weak woman, so sue me.”

Pinky and I snickered, loudly.

“What’s going on here? Don’t tell me you’ve met him?”

“I’m not telling.”

“Smart move, Pinky.”

“Another mystery, ladies?” She parked, and we walked up to a familiar building for me.

“Here we are, Nicola’s; you’ll love it,” Jen announced. We walked in and waited to be seated. It was the noon rush, and the manger was working as the greeter/headwaiter, the maitré, matre … whatever; I can’t spell it.

“Good afternoon, ladies. My dear Jen, what a pleasure.”

“Hi, Anthony, how’s business?” I said, causing Jen to double take.

“Ms Brown, I mean Joanie, this is a rare treat to have Jen and you here at the same time. Who’s the charming young lady with you, and where is your delightful Hawaiian friend, Leah?”

“You’ve met Anthony, Joanie?” Jen asked.

“We met earlier this week, didn’t we? I’m sorry, but Leah,” I pointed to our photo on the wall, “is at our school today.” Jen looked at the photo and laughed. “This is Pamela, or Pinky, another friend from school.”

“Charmed, Ms. Pamela,” he said and kissed the back of her hand. Pinky gasped then blushed. We were led to a table, and a waitress took our orders.

* * * *
“I was here a few days ago on the way back from Hawaii. Leah said their seafood sampler was good. I think she charmed the pants of Anthony.”

“And I thought I was treating you to something new.”

“It’s new to Pinky, and thanks. This is a sweet gesture.”

We engaged in some quiet small talk; Pinky and I described a typical day at *The Academy. * Jen described what her life was like as an actress, producer and all around Hollywood insider.

“I would love to have you on Around Midnight. To be honest, you kicked our butts when you were on that other late night show last December. The overnights — the audience share -- from the LIVE Hawaii special were something out of the days before cable and satellite TV. What do you say; want to come on the show?”

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in performing, but I don’t see where I could find the time. I don’t wish to, and I can’t afford to, cut anymore class time; I owe it to my students and myself to be there. I’ve missed too much this session as it is. I feel like I’ve let them down, Jen.”

“How about in June? That should be after the spring term is over, but before any summer school unless the *Academy* has a strange schedule. And why *The Academy*? That can’t be its real name.”

“Sorry about that, Jen, but until I know you better, it’s safer to be vague about the school’s name. I’m not the only mutant who has taken refuge there. Several of my friends are there for their personal safety as well as the special facilities the school has for mutants. Pinky is at the school because of the intercession of her aunt, a senior administrator, and remains there because of a dangerous situation at home. I must protect them, thus the subterfuge.

“As to your first question, our class year is pretty much like the average in the US. Finding the time to come on Around Midnight will be difficult; I have so much going on this summer. I promised to spend the first half of June with my friends in Iowa. I … apparently I impressed the Johnsons; they appointed me their … let’s say they did me a great honor and leave it at that. I take their trust seriously, and Babs — the Governor’s wife -- has twins on the way so I want to help out. Plus her two kids are such fun to be with. I’m very much a child myself again, and I look forward to our time together.”

“The Governor of Iowa’s family? You saved their daughter’s life, and didn’t you go to a dance with their son?”

“Mel is a bright and funny young woman, Jen; she always makes me smile. Her brother Eric is a charming young man. He’s well mannered, studious, athletic, clever, tall and good looking with the warmest smile. His eyes … What was I saying?” I paused and Pinky giggled, though she tried not to. “To be honest, he is doing his damnedest to impress me. I think Eric has a crush on me. Plus I never went to dances when I was that age, so I figured why not?” I smiled wistfully.

“Pinky, I heard you suppressing a laugh. What gives?” asked Jen.

“I ... I met Eric this Easter; he’s … he’s hot!”

“Pinky, that’s not ladylike. And yes, I think he’s good looking too, but I saw him first!”

“Aww, no fair.”

“Finders-keepers.”

“You’re a meanie.”

“Do you two often act like this, Joanie?”

“Like what, Jen?”

“Like two silly schoolgirls.”

“Pinky, that sounds like a straight-line to me. On the count of three, one, two, three ... But we are school girls,” we said in near perfect sync, but then Pinky is an empath.

Jen broke into giggles, ”H-h-how’d you do that?”

“I was going to say we opened our mouths and spoke -- ba-doom-ticsh! -- but I have to be serious … eventually. I love to hear Pinky and my other friends laugh, it’s one of my greatest joys at school. ~~Ducked that one.~~

“I take it the first two weeks of June are out. What about appearing on the show in the latter half of June?”

“I’ll be out of the US the last two weeks of June, and the summer session at school starts in early July, Jen. July and early August are difficult because I’m teaching and Babs's delivery date ...”

“Wait a minute, you said ‘out of the US’?” Jen leaned in close and whispered. “Could it be Wales, England?”

“Ehhhhhh, could’st be, Doc.” I said as a certain wascally wabbit.

“I remember the photos with you and David Tenant. You’re going on Doctor Who? I’m jealous; I love sci-fi,” Jen asked me softly so no one overheard.

“It’s just a cameo.”

“Two weeks for a cameo?”

“It’s a long cameo, three episodes as his companion; it’s no big deal.” Jen’s eyes went wide for a moment. “I have no illusions of being an actress. This is for fun, and I get a free trip out of it,” I whispered back.

* * * *

Our food came and we ate — what else would you do with food? Partway into a to-die-for pizza — yes, I ordered pizza in an Italian restaurant, is that so strange? — my cell phone went off.

“Forgive me, but this is my private phone so it’s important.”

I tried not to disturb the other patrons — using a cell in a restaurant or theater is plain rude -- so I talked as softly as I dared. Anthony had given us a table that afforded more privacy than most, which helped. The only people I would disturb were at our own table, if I was careful.

“Joanie here … Yes? … Eric, WHAT!” I forced myself to be calm before replying. “… How did it happen? … Thank Ghod she’s okay, and the babies? … Should I come and see her? I can be there in a few hours … If you think so, but I feel bad thinking of her in the hospital alone … Bob’s staying with her? … Sounds like something your dad would do. You tell your mom I’m praying for her and tell Mel hi. We’ll talk Friday like … Yes? … I can’t, I’m in public … Where did you learn about THAT! … I have to go now, and shame on you.” ~~Eric, you devil. Even if we were married, that is illegal in several states, Georgia for sure. I hope nobody notices how aroused you got me. I’ll get you for this, Eric.~~

“That was one of your *friends* in Iowa, Joanie?” Jen smiled in a predatory way.

“Stop grinning like that; you’re scaring me, Jen. It was Eric. Babs, his mom, was in a car accident, and she’s in the hospital as a precaution. She has some bruises from her seatbelt, and a few cuts from flying debris, but nothing serious. She’s in her third trimester, and with twins they are being careful.”

“What happened?”

“A freak accident, Jen; these things are common in the fall rut, particularly at twilight, but in the late morning this time of year? A deer ran out onto the road, and in trying to miss it a driver clipped Bab’s vehicle, forcing it into the ditch. They want to make sure the jarring didn’t harm the babies. Bob, the Governor, is staying with her. Eric said his dad felt guilty, as she was on the way back from a campaign brunch fund raiser. I know Babs pretty well; we talk like sisters. She’s a US Senator’s daughter; she understands the need to fund raise for the party. I doubt if she’s angry with him, not that she won’t get a few *concessions* out of Bob,” I said laughing with relief.

“I’m glad she’s alright. Ms. Johnson, Babs, treated me like family when we were in Iowa, Joanie. She made me feel welcome,“ Pinky said.

“We have a lot of wildlife in my part of New York. Deer/vehicle collisions are quite common. Joanie, I heard how you reacted to his voice. You clearly were concerned for Babs and her family. Do you have feelings for the young man?”

“I would be lying, if I said I didn’t find him attractive. I’m physically seventeen; I find myself looking at men, and my interest is not platonic. As Pinky said, he’s *hot* for a young man his age. If I am not involved with someone else by the time he’s eighteen, I would have no qualms dating him, if he’s interested. In the meantime we are good friends. The whole family treats me like I’m part of them. How could I not find him … fascinating?”

“I’ll accept that for now. You are comfortable with being a woman and all it implies? You see men as attractive, and you are comfortable with this?”

“Delightfully so once I got used to the idea, but what about you? I hear about you and, um … Adam Tilton? That’s his name, right? I’ve seen him in a few things, he’s a fine looking man and talented. His voice work for cartoons is brilliant and reminds me of a Billy West or even the late Mel Blanc, if you remember the classics. So when are you going to get hitched? Sorry, that was rude; you don’t need to answer, Jen.”

“Who is interviewing who?” Jen asked back.

“This is an interview? I though it was a lunch, Jen. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Allowing that the press sensationalizes Hollywood romances, you have been with him a long time with little evidence of either seeing anyone else, not that *I* follow the gossip pages. But then I’m a blonde so what do I know?” I said and giggled.

“It’s complicated,” Jen said, her tone flat, almost sad.

“What’s complicated, Jen? ~~Believe me I know complicated.~~ Don’t tell me you fear you’ll be another failed *Hollywood romance*? I know it sounds cliché, but if you never try you’ve already failed.” I paused to think, then I continued.

“I have multiple reasons, all highly logical, why I shouldn’t get close to someone, let alone have children.” I whispered. “Maybe someday I can tell you why…” I continued, speaking in my normal voice. “Despite that, I dream of the day I can hold my own offspring as it nurses at my breast. That’s why the house project. And the linen closet I live in is getting cramped with my menagerie, as Pinky can attest.”

“I’d rather not talk about my romantic troubles.”

“I apologize; I was being pushy, Jen. I hope you can resolve your troubles.”

“I prefer to keep my private life separate from my public life, but the Hollywood romance myth is no myth. The business is hard on relationships. I have other concerns; as I said, it’s complicated. I’ve been a woman over half a decade, and this new life still surprises me. Sorry I didn’t really answer your question, Joanie.”

“I see I’ve touched on delicate subject, Jen.” ~~Someday I may tell you about my fear of outliving my friends and lovers. Ghods, what an understatement … When my Eric dies I’ll … Buck up, Girl.~~ “If it helps you to understand me, Jen, there is one overriding truth I’ve learned about myself in my short time as a woman -- I refuse to waste this second chance I’ve been given. I talk with Babs, Ms. Johnson, often, and I envy her pregnancy despite its trials and tribulations. I *will* be a mother. I owe my late mom; she would have loved grandchildren,” I explained.

“Now I’ve gone all preachy on you. I didn’t mean to upset you, Jen. Any other suggestions on a show date?”

“How about in late August, Joanie?” Jen suggested. “I’ll be hosting from Syracuse, New York, for a couple weeks while Wayne is on vacation. It’s a working vacation for me, as I can visit family and friends. The Around Midnight dates overlap quite deliberately with the New York State Fair this year. Around Midnight will promote the fair and upstate New York to the nation, and the overflow from the crowds drawn to the fair will ensure the theater will be packed for each show. The network and Hollywood types would call it something like ‘proactive synergy’. Wayne and I call it ‘good business’”

Jen continued. “I’d be happy to take you to the fair, Joanie. It’s lots of good clean fun and entertainment, and there are lots of great foods to try. If you are watching your weight it is definitely a place to avoid. It’s also NOT Tinsel-Town, if that helps.”

“That's tempting; Babs’ due date is in the second week of August, so I should be available by then. I love the Wisconsin State Fair; seeing a different state fair would be fun … Could I bring some of my school friends along? They might like to see how a TV show is done, and they are the right age to enjoy the rides and food at the fair,” I asked.

“I don’t see why not, Joanie. If your group is small, you could all stay at my place outside of Syracuse. I’ve got a huge house and 200 acres of land you could camp on and explore. It’s full of wildflowers and animals. It’s my retreat from the artificialness of the entertainment world.”

“I’ve only 53 acres myself, but then it is in the White Mountains.”

“Ah, then Syracuse is not that much more of a trip for you than Boston,” Jen said then mouthed, “New Hampshire?”

I nodded. I thought Jen looked shocked for a moment, but it passed, to be replaced by a vaguely unnerving smile.

~~Odd, now Jen seems almost too happy, like a cat about to pounce.~~ “I’ll think about it. How soon do you need an answer?”

“For an August show? Here and now would be ideal, but as little as a few days notice is okay. We schedule to allow for mishaps and last minute cancellations,” Jen explained.

Our waitress stopped by to check on us. I almost didn’t notice her at first; she was professional to the point of being invisible. By that I mean we never ran out of ice water, coffee or anything, and the empty plates disappeared as if by magic. ~~This gal deserves a whopping big tip … Nice blouse, I love the embroidery accents. I wonder where she bought it?~~ That last thought still scares me. Am I becoming a clothes horse?

“Anyone for dessert?” she asked.

“Let me order; I think you’ll like it.”

“Okay, Jen, I’ve only been here once so you’re the expert,” I said.

I turned to the waitress. “Ma’am, um, Gina?” I noticed her name tag. “Where did you get that blouse, it’s lovely.” ~~I can’t believe I just said that.~~

The waitress was surprised by my question but recovered. “It’s a standard waitress blouse, straight out of a uniform shop. A local shop does the embroidery, Ms Brown.”

“Please call my Joanie, Gina. That really is a lovely blouse.”

“Thank you … Joanie. Did any of you ladies have a preference for dessert, or are you going with what Ms. Stevens,” I saw Jen shake her head. “I mean, Jen, orders?” I saw Jen nod and smile.

“I’ll go with whatever they have,” Pinky added.

Jen motioned to the waitress and said something I couldn’t quite hear. The waitress nodded and walked away.

“Joanie, any other questions I can answer?

“There is one last thing, Jen, and I guarantee you won’t like it. If we come to terms, I would prefer if my appearance was not well publicized.”

“But why not? Oh, you fear a repeat of last Halloween in Madison.”

“Exactly, and it’s the crowd I am worried for. I’m not *brick* tough, but I have a few tricks up my sleeves and I do heal fast. But innocents …”

“We have the best in security for the shows. The City of Syracuse and New York State take pride in hosting them. They provide a visible and well equipped police presence. The grand old theater we use has been extensively upgraded with help from the network and Wayne’s production company. That includes safety and security systems. Wayne and Around Midnight are security conscious ever since the arson of part of his studio, and I have my own private security people I trust with my life. They saved me from an assassin so I believe in them.”

“That makes me feel better, but I do need to run this by my advisors.”

“Advisors?”

“It’s not like I have an entourage. But I know people I trust, so I’ll run this past a couple of the staff at Wh … what was I saying … the Academy, maybe my dad and sister, oh and the Senator.” ~~There she goes, smiling that *knowing* smile again, Damn, I must be imagining things~~

“Senator Williams? I met him once. A charming man and sharp as can be. He might make a good guest on Around Midnight, since his son-in-law is a dark horse candidate for President.”

“I doubt if Bob would run, not that I don’t admire the Governor. He has a great ass by the way; he was in this skintight jogging suit and … It was embarrassing, but he was utterly charming about it. This new body sometimes has a mind of its own.”

“I know the feeling; it’s called being a woman, Joanie.”

I nodded and continued. ”Bob loves his wife and family too much, and with her carrying twins, I can’t see him running for President. Then there is the matter of that unholy mutant woman they associate with,” I said and snickered, but a part of me was serious and Jen noticed. ~~Am I a detriment to my Iowa friends? I have to be costing Bob and Joe the votes of anti-mutants at least.~~

“I suspect their connection to you will gain them more votes than it loses, Joanie. You saved their daughter; unless you’re a political Jonah, they would stand by you. The voters you would turn off are hard-line religious conservatives and anti-mutant types who would never vote for Bob anyways. His record is too moderate, almost liberal by modern standards. In contrast, moderates and liberals would support him strongly; you wouldn’t have much affect on them. The youth vote would swarm to him because of you -- the guys for sure.”

“Now you’re being silly, Jen.”

“Am I, Miss July?”

“I’ll have you know I’m fully clothed … on the cover. That baring of my flesh earned my school well over two million dollars, and we get a chunk of overseas profits. And we got a sweetheart of a deal on Coke products.”

“That’s something I could never do, Joanie -- appearing naked in public. I applaud your reasons for doing it; your school sounds like a worthy recipient. In my experience, most nakedness in the media is to boost interest in a poor quality product … I can’t do it. I have it written into my contracts. I’m not ashamed of my body, Joanie … I believe nudity without a valid artistic or political purpose is trash and an invasion of my privacy -- what little I have.”

I felt defensive after Jen’s comment on nudity. It was her choice not to appear naked, but it didn’t mean it was wrong for me to have posed.

“I don’t mean to belittle your decision against performing nude, Jen. Yes, yes, I do remember the jokes made when the Library of Congress stopped producing a Braille version of Playboy -- that the blind were the only ones who actually read the articles. They publish photos of naked women, but I can tell you my experience has been entirely positive. The nude photos were shot in a professional manner. There was no pressure to do anything else other than pose attractively for the camera. Several of my friends at MSG back in Wisconsin posed nude as well, and they are good people. If you like, I’ll send you an advance copy so you can see for yourself, Jen. I like to think of my photo shoot as cheesecake or glamour photography taken a little farther. It’s not like the gynecological porn that some magazines do,” I said.

“I meant no insult, Joanie. If I have offended you, I am sorry.”

“No offence taken, Jen, I assure you. Whether to pose or not is a deeply personal decision; no one should decide it for you. I weighed the potential for my own discomfort, and that of any future harassment related to my posing, against the potential benefits. In the July issue, I have an extensive interview, and I speak at length about mutants. Several acclaimed medical experts on mutants also have in depth articles. One is by the physician who saved my life during my burnout. She is a fellow mutant and a valued friend. She treats me like a daughter, and I like to think of her as my mom. She has a brilliant article on mutants in the issue and posed for a photo shoot herself, she felt so strongly about proving mutants are people like everyone else.

“You’ve done well without resorting to nudity -- not that you couldn’t pull it off magnificently, Jen. You have perfect girl-next-door looks and the personality to match. In my case I’d already been seen naked in public, however briefly, during my rescue after the kidnapping. A few months later, at the Academy, a pair of students made money selling racy posters of me and other attractive female staff, totally unauthorized I might point out. A few posters got into circulation outside of the school, and I got this offer to pose. I was going to say no, but a staff member, ah-hum …”

“Why are you looking at me like that, Joanie? I had nothing to do with what my aunt did,” Pinky laughed.

“Pinky’s aunt sent in my acceptance as a joke, and I accepted their generous offer. I figured with my looks and background it was bound to happen eventually. Rather than have the paparazzi hunting me, I turned the tables and controlled how and when I would reveal my, um, charms. It was a golden opportunity to make my pitch that mutants are people and should be treated as such. The crazy thing is I’m not the first mutant to pose, just the first to do so publicly. One of our staff posed years ago under a pseudonym and has actively supported my posing. She shed her clothing to raise funds for the supers group she belonged to at the time; the parallel to my raising money for the school scholarship fund was not lost on her.

“I’m very chatty, aren’t I? I must be more nervous than I thought. Go ahead and finish your pitch, Jen. Feel free to whack me on the back of the head, if I don’t stay quiet.”

Jen laughed. “We don’t pay a lot to guests, but I can offer free transport, food and lodging. The local businesses throw in some generous perks and gifts to our guests in exchange for recognition on the air.”

“I could care less about the money, personally. I make an obscene amount on my music, and I made some very good investments awhile back, so I’m set financially. Anything I can do to help out my school friends is welcome, though. Private schools are expensive; imagine what a private school for mutants is like.”

“Beyond the usual perks for coming on the show, what if we made a contribution of a few thousand dollars to your school’s scholarship fund?”

I exploded with the giggles. “Jen, in December, Jay’s show paid me fifteen thousand per song, no limit. I sang six times. They paid me 50 thousand additional to stay on the whole show, plus 100 thousand because I gave all they paid me to charity. Then there was the 100 thousand to the school scholarship fund that they later doubled, simply because I rode my 1915 Harley on stage.”

“That’s 440 thousand dollars! And you personally got nothing?”

“They were very generous to my charities and the school, so I was happy. I wouldn’t expect that much for an Around Midnight appearance; frankly, Jay went overboard, but then it was my first ever appearance on TV that wasn’t the news. Whatever is feasible will be appreciated, Jen; the scholarship fund is always in need of more. I think technically some of it went to me, which I immediately turned over to charity, all to satisfy union rules, the labor laws and the tax man. I did it for fun and to get the word out that being a mutant isn’t bad. I wanted people to know there is help out there for new mutants or any mutants who need it. I’ve got to think with your origins, Jen, you must get you share of people trying to denounce you as ungodly or an abomination.”

“I’ve had problems, but I let them have their say. The moment they harm me or my friends, or libel and slander me, the gloves come off.”

"I vaguely remember you successfully suing some tabloid. They used old photos out of context to … make up a story, wasn’t it? That was disgusting, and I applaud you for nailing their sorry asses. Sorry, Pinky, you didn’t hear that.”

“Heard what, Ms. Manners?”

* * * *

Our dessert came, and we stopped while our waitress served.

“This is Nicola’s signature dessert. Bite into the best cho…”.

“…colate pie you’ve ever had. Leah and I had some when we were here.”

“Do you make a habit of stealing other people’s thunder?”

I laughed. “I’m sorry but it is a great pie, Jen. I’m not much of a dessert person, but this pie is, well, sinfully good.”

Gina, our waitress, served us each a small slice of the decadent treat. I was admittedly eager to taste it again. Jen was nearly drooling in anticipation.

“Wait, girls, you want cold milk to go with this. Be patient,” Jen said solemnly.

Gina poured us each a glass.

“Now, you can eat,” Jen declared.

I watched each woman carefully. Jen's eyes closed as she slowly ate each forkful. I noticed Pinky’s expression turn to one of utter bliss. As for me, I was totally unaffected, except for a growing and pleasant *tension* in … It’s been claimed for ages that chocolate is an aphrodisiac. I like chocolate, in moderation, but it never did anything for me. But this pie — I was going to have some *great* dreams tonight, I just knew.

We finished and Jen spoke. “Did you like it, ladies?”

“It was very good, Jen. It made me feel so satisfied. Thank you for ordering it.”

“You're welcome, Pinky, and you, Joanie?”

“It’s okay.”

“Just okay, Joanie? You look like bride on her honeymoon.”

~~Wonderful, I just had to wear that stretchy soft cup bra today too. Then again it’s not like the *girls* haven’t been seen by the public before.~~

Pinky noticed and struggled to not laugh at my predicament.

This got me thinking about how I’d been acting the whole time we’d been with Ms. Stevens. I was embarrassed. I’d been so boy-on-first-and-only-date-with-a-pretty-girl chatty but at least I had managed to speak with Jen. ~~I’m calling Jennifer Stevens, Jen? She’s a major force in the entertainment business: acting, singing, producing, directing. I’m Miss Flash-in-the-pan. I don’t deserve to be considered an equal.~~ I was having an attack of nerves, of self doubt to be honest. I still feel that way sometimes. I keep thinking these wonderful gifts will all be taken away from me and given to someone who is worthy. I know this is wrong, that this is what and who I am. I guess I have a ways to go towards being fully confident in who I am.

~~Time to buck up, Joanie.~~

“Jen, I’d like to apologize for coming off as manic as I did. I’m in awe of your accomplishments, and I’m a little intimidated in your presence… Jen, I’ve been a woman less than a year. I didn’t have a hint I had any talent as a singer, or anything else for that matter, until the whole Labor Day fiasco.”

“Fiasco? That was one of the most selfless acts of bravery I’ve ever seen.”

“You misunderstand me, Jen. Until I ran into that highway, I didn’t know I could stop time. I was reacting to a child in trouble and didn’t have clue how to save her. Maybe it was the mommy in me trying to get my attention,” I said and giggled. “By fiasco I mean my becoming visible to the press and discovering I had a commercially viable singing voice. Those few days destroyed any hope I had of retuning to a *normal* life … That fiasco also was the best thing that ever happened to me, but I’m not completely adjusted to all of it’s myriad complications? Does that make any sense?”

“You mean you love your new life, but don’t know how to handle it at times?”

“Bingo!”

“Welcome to my world, Joanie. It’s over five years since I was struck by lightning, and I’m still a novice. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Don’t feel bad, veterans of show business sometimes choke in my presence. I can be intimidating, but I’m just Jen, a girl from the snow belt of New York. I don’t bite, not hard anyway.” Jen smiled, and we all relaxed.

Like many restaurants, Nicola’s had music playing softly on a sound system for ambiance and to muffle the conversations of each table from the others. They had an adult contemporary station on, Neil Diamond, Billy Joel, The Righteous Brothers and other artists of that ilk, or is it soft-rock? A familiar song came on, but the version was different somehow.

“You love 60's and 70’s music, Joanie; that is the Beach Boys, but the recording of Fun-Fun-Fun isn’t one I’m familiar with -- recorded at a concert from the sound of it.”

“They sound pretty good to me; I wonder where the recorded that? It was great hearing them in person, believe me.”

The song ended and went to a commercial. I excused myself to use the ladies room. There was a line in the room, so it took awhile. On leaving, I thought I heard the last notes of Burning Love, but I wasn’t sure, there was a lot of noise from the nearby kitchen. I walked to our table, and many of the diners were staring at me. ~~The price of fame, oh well.~~

I got to our table and noticed Jen smiling at me; so was Pinky.

“What’s wrong? Is there toilet paper hanging off my shoe?”

“You didn’t hear?” Jen asked.

“Hear what?” I sipped my ice water and a new song came in the radio. “All right, George Harrison. This one’s a favorite. I never knew he recorded a concert ... version … Oh Ghod, they didn’t.”

What *they’d* done was release a song we practiced for the Waikiki show, but never used. With live TV, you have to be flexible. People trip and fall and break a leg; it happened to Jackie Gleason years ago. Songs run shorter or longer than expected and so on, so most shows plan on more material than they need as a cushion. This was a cushion we never used. I’d forgotten we’d recorded it.

“That’s 'The Devil’s Radio' by George Harrison. I was mad at the press for they way they covered Leah’s rescue, and I intended to sing this as a protest, but did Pretty Vacant instead, my *tribute* to the MCO. I’d had several less than pleasant experiences with them in the days just prior to the show. We never had time for this one on the broadcast.”

“That was a practice session? That was a practice session I’d love to have. Joanie, you have a beautiful singing voice.”

“Thanks?”

“You have to come on Around Midnight.”

“Can I think on it?”

“Here’s my card with my personal, private number. Call me whether you decided to come on the show or just have a question. I have voice mail on it, so call any time,” Jen said and so sincerely too.

“If you’d added a girly pout you would have had me, but too late now, Jen.”

Anthony came by with a different waitress and that camera. “Ladies, if you will pose with me, the meal is on the house.”

“Free food? I’m in,” I replied. Jen and I arranged ourselves around Anthony, while I hugged Pinky with my free arm. He got his picture, and Jen was off the hook for the meal.

* * * *

We walked out of the restaurant — P.S. I left a generous tip -- and were assailed by photo flashes in broad daylight. The paparazzi had found us. I spoke up; the words came to me in a rush. “This is a public sidewalk, and you are within your rights to photograph us; however, that only applies to Ms. Stevens and me. The young lady with us is not of legal age, is not a *famous* individual and has never done anything remotely akin to *performing* in public. She is currently under the protection of a court order. If you publish any photos of her, I will personally pursue any and every legal remedy at my disposal to make your lives a living hell; got it, boys and girls?” They remained defiant.

“I formally permit you to use any photos taken here of me as long as they are presented in a fair and honest way. Ms Stevens is a different matter. I cannot speak for her, but publish even one grainy photo of this young woman and I will have your balls on a platter.” To emphasize this, I time stopped the small group of photographers and pulled their pants down to their ankles. “Do we have an understanding?

They agreed -- I wonder why — and Jen agreed they could take some photos of the two of us. After that they left us alone and we walked to my truck.

“I would never have done that even if I could, Joanie. That could have backfired. The court order was a touché of genius.”

“Touche’, Jen?”

“It was at the point of a sword, so to speak.”

“Huh?”

“You promised to, quote, ‘have your balls on a platter.’ You will be a great actress someday. You were utterly convincing in your outrage, even though it was a bluff.”

“That wasn’t entirely a bluff, Jen. Pinky is …” I looked around to make sure we were alone. “I am Ms. Pamela Conners' legal guardian. Her mother is anti-mutant; her dad is separated from her mother and doesn’t care. She needed someone, and once I knew her I couldn’t help myself. You talked with her before we met. Would you let anyone harm this young woman, if it was in your power to prevent it?”

Jen shook her head.

“I didn’t tell the press the complete truth. Pinky was with me in Iowa this Easter weekend, and we sang on A Prairie Home Companion. That is radio, though they do a live web cast. Those photos are low resolution, so I doubt she’ll be recognized.”

“Joanie helped catch the men who assaulted me while I was drugged. She turned my life around,” Pinky said and hugged me.

“More secrets? You are not the blonde ditz you like to make people think you are."

“Keep that our secret for now.”

We drove back to the PBS studios, but no one followed. My stunt scared them off -- that and Boston traffic is a nightmare on the best of days.

* * * *

“I hope you accept my offer to appear, Joanie. I think with your talent and enthusiasm you’d make a great guest. You have my card with my private cell number; you can reach me on it almost anytime.”

I dug in my purse. “I should have given you this earlier; this is my card with my e-mail address.” I stopped and wrote on the back with a cheap ballpoint I always carry. “This is my private number to the phone I have on me now. I can’t say for sure if I’ll come on, but a reminder now and again wouldn’t hurt. I’ll think it over, and I do mean it. I’m not blowing you off, Jen.”

“You have any questions at all, call me; we can work it out … Joanie, tell Ms. Carson thanks for the tour she gave me of Whateley, and that I am still considering her offer of a teaching position or at least teaching a semester of theater arts. Bye!” Jen walked off briskly. I swear she was chuckling.

Pinky and I turned to each other. “She knows!?” we gasped.

* * * *

Pinky left to check on our furry friends, and I returned to my narration work. The crew and I were quickly back into the groove. Miki was as quickly back by my side. How she got into the closed recording studios, I have no idea. Maybe she’s Hairy Houdini? No laughs? *Hairy* … it’s a joke … That was my *A* material too. Oh well, I tried.

It was a long day, but productive beyond our expectations. I knew we were doing well, but what I heard around ten that evening shocked me.

“That’s a wrap.”

“That’s it for tonight?”

“No, Joanie, we finished it all. I told you we could do it, and you proved more than equal to the task.”

“We’re done for sure, no fooling? You wouldn’t kid a tired mutant with homicidal tendencies would you?”

“You’re finished, honest. Did you want to go out and eat?” My producer asked smiling.

“I’m hungry, but it’s awfully late. What do you think, Pinky?”

“I’m fine, Joanie. I took a nap with George and Gracie earlier; they make great bed warmers,” she said and giggled. I was happy to see her carefree and acting like a normal teen. Sometimes she was so serious, I worried she was crawling back into the shell she’d erected after her assaults. I was glad to see it was simply normal moodiness; that was something I understood well.

I was in the fertile part of my cycle and was increasingly moody and, um … I was envious of Miki and her assignation back in Waikiki. Logically, it was fair; she had done without for 150 years and was a single, desirable mongoose. I was single, but attached, and I would be able to get all I wanted in a few years. I could have all I wanted and then some now, but I was trying to be faithful. It’s the way I was raised. Miki could only *get some* if I helped her; mongoose are not common in the US. ~~That proves how tired I am. I’m envious of my familiar’s sex life.~~

~~Oh Yes!~~ I thought I *heard* a happy sigh from the cheap seats.

“Dinner sounds wonderful, but what of my furry friends?”

“The smilodons will be safe in your truck bed carrier as will your mongoose inside the cab. The hotel I have in mind has reserved secure parking; in fact it’s the same hotel where you spent the night, so you don’t have far to go after your late supper. The room is reserved for tonight and tomorrow night if you need the rest. I can’t see you driving back this late at night -- it’s just not safe.”

“A good meal and a warm bed would be welcome,” Pinky replied.

“Fine, Ms. Pinky, I’ll give you ladies, say, 30 minutes to get dressed then we’ll go and eat.”

“Get dressed?”

“It is an upscale restaurant; you’ll want to look your best.”

“I anticipated this, so Pinky and I each brought a classy outfit.”

“That’s why you told me to bring something suitable for fancy dress,” Pinky replied, sharp girl, boy, well both at the moment. I’m not fully used to her monthly transformation but I’m getting there...

* * * *

I’d packed a simple but elegant strapless evening dress and some strappy heels. Pinky brought a well tailored but androgynous women’s suit and a pair of medium heeled dress cowboy/cowgirl boots. She was in her dual form, as we’d began to call it; *dual* was both accurate and short. She was outwardly a wiry male, in terms of her visible sexual apparatus and lack of female curves. At the same time she remained a fully functional female, the opening to her sex being temporarily concealed by her temporary maleness. She could have tried to disguise herself and force a look one way or the other, but she wouldn’t have been comfortable faking being one or the other. Pinky, I realized, had an aversion to lying, even if it was convenient. The way she had acted after her sexual assaults disgusted her, and she fought tooth-and-nail against backsliding into *that* personality.

This way was honest, yet flattering. As Jennifer Stevens had noted, Pinky appeared most attractive -- a mysterious, handsome and athletic tomboy. In reality, she was both at the moment. She didn’t appear fake or an obvious cross dresser, so the look worked for her. I was pleased with the outfit and said so.

“That is a good look for you; it’s honest, attractive and practical. The question is, do you like it?”

“To be honest, I wish I was always a girl, but then I still am, aren’t I? I could dress completely like a man while in this form, but that would not be true to who I am now. Equally, my dressing completely like a woman would be dishonest while in this form. These women’s versions of men’s clothing are perfect for me when I’m *dual*. And this form has its perks. I’m stronger, and depending how I dress, I can use either bathroom. Not having to sit down sure saves time,” she replied and smiled, too wide to my way of thinking.

“Are we rubbing it in, again?”

“Joanie, I do not! … A lady does not admit she masturbates,” she whispered and laughed. I burst out in a giggle.

“I didn’t mean *that,* and you know it. By the way, I do and it’s great,” I replied and grinned.

“I was having you on, Joanie, but I am getting to like being both ways. I wish I had control over when, but at least it’s predictable. I have a secret; I’m gonna’ do it someday, I swear. I’m gonna’ have sex as a man someday, but when I’m ready and I find someone special. Since I’m both, why not *be* both, you know?”

I gave her/him both a hug. “That is great. I want you to like yourself, and this is as much a part of you as the lovely woman. I have to say, if I hadn’t found Eric, I’d be tempted to pursue you as a lover and life partner. Whoever wins you will be lucky; just do me a favor and wait until you are eighteen.” Pinky blushed at my comment. She appreciated the compliment. The last year had been hard and her self-image needed some work, but it was getting there.

* * * *

We arrived at one of Boston’s fanciest downtown hotels. The place was elegant, and reasonably modern without being too modern. This was clearly one of *THE* places to be seen in town. I anticipated this and was armed with some of my nicest jewelry. It was nothing fancy, but okay it was very fancy by my standards. I had brought the gold/platinum and emerald necklace and earring set I’d bought in Dunwich last December. They combined with the hot dress I was almost wearing to make a statement. The statement was “In your face, Boston; lock up your men and boys, mothers. Joanie is on the prowl, Roar!”

My producer excused herself, while we were led to a table and a pleasant surprise.

“Joe, Sara, what are you two doing here?”

“Having dinner?”

“Sara! Why are you here?”

“It’s my fault, Joanie. Remember what we were talking about a few weeks back?” Joe asked.

I looked at Sara’s hand and the diamond ring she proudly displayed. It was a classic design and sparked as if on fire. “You said yes, thank Ghod!” I gave Sara a big hug.

“Joanie, I can’t thank you enough for fixing us up. I forgot how much I missed being this close to a man -- and what a man.!” Sara said and rolled her eyes.

“Sara’s a nutcase, but I love her, Joanie.”

“This call for a celebration, maybe some champagne on me, though Pinky is too young. I try to avoid alcohol, but for you two.…”

“I have to abstain, as well, for my baby.”

“That’s underst … BABY!?” Dr. Sara nodded and smiled, Senator Joe’s face beamed with love for his wife to be. A number of the nearer dinners turned to look. “I told you to give her a good … but you didn’t have to get Sara pregnant!”

“I know you’re a busy girl, but I would love for you to be my Maid of Honor. We’re planning on getting married right after you return from Wales. If we wait much longer, I won’t fit in my wedding dress.”

“What about Carrie?”

“She agrees with me. You will be co-Maids of Honor; Carrie insisted when she heard. She knows how you played matchmaker. The rest of the Gang of Four will be bridesmaids, and Gin’s new sister Katie will be the flower girl. I know it sounds a bit overblown, but it will be a modest ceremony, just immediate friends and family -- a few dozen at most.”

“How is Katie?”

“That’s the little girl who used to be a guy? The one who tried to shoot Joanie?”

“Yes, Pinky. Nice outfit by the way.”

“Thanks, Doctor.”

“Call me Sara. You're Joanie’s friend so that makes you one of the Gang,” Sara said and gave Pinky a hug. Pinky was so happy she cried.

“Katie is doing well. She’s happy, healthy and smart as a whip. She remembers who she was, but in every meaningful way she’s a normal young girl. She talks of both you ladies often. You really should visit her someday soon. She thinks you two are special.”

“But why?” I asked.

“Because you both treated her nice after he tried to kill you, Joanie, Katie remembers that. You treated her honorably, so the code of honor he lived by makes her fond of you. As a little girl, it’s the highest honor she can bestow.”

“He’d been deceived; I had no reason to hate him, particularly after Gin changed him into her younger clone.”

“I feel about it like Joanie says, except I saw Katie as he changed and again right after. He suffered a lot but did so bravely. Once he, um she knew the truth, she was apologetic almost to the point of wanting to kill herself. He, I mean she, has a strong personal code of honor. I hated what he tried to do, but I couldn’t hate her. Does that make sense?”

Sara’s smile, and the hug she gave Pinky, told me she was pleased by what she heard; so was I.

The rest of the evening was a blur, but a happy one. My producer mysteriously reappeared.

”I’m feeling ill. I think I should go home. I’m sorry.”

Yes, I think it was a set up too, readers. We went dancing in the hotel’s ballroom. I enjoyed myself immensely. Pinky looked like an angel in Joe’s arms. Sara and Joe looked complete in each other’s arms; the image of her and Joe is burned in my mind as The Couple. Pinky and I retired to our hotel room exhausted and grinning our ears off.

* * * *

May 13, 2007, Sunday

The ride back to Whateley was uneventful. We’d rested well that night, and the weekend traffic out of Boston was light. My menagerie was happy to be home. I thought Miki seemed a bit off somehow, but I couldn’t pin down a reason. I commended her on keeping George and Gracie calm during their potentially stressful trip to Boston. ~~I like them too, Joanie. They treat me like family.~~The rest of Sunday we took it easy, did laundry and the like.

* * * *

May 14, 2007, Mother’s Day plus one

“Good morning, Miki! You were so helpful this weekend you deserve a treat. Would you like some tuna?” I was in a good mood, so I spoke to her out loud.

I held out a stoneware bowl with a small can of tuna already opened and placed on it. Miki sniffed it and ran off; she was making retching sounds. I felt dizzy and a bit queasy.

~~What’s wrong, Miki? I sense you are ill.~~ A second wave of nausea hit me, and my breasts ached.

~~I do not understand, Joanie, but the smell of your wonderful tuna treat disgusted me. I have never felt this way. I never get sick, at least not since I bonded with my first mistress.~~

~~It isn’t me, is it? Is something about our strange bond harming you?~~

~~No, though our bond is different from my other mistresses, I have no difficulty accessing your magic. There is no reason to be concerned … Oooh! I feel sick!~~

“Magic or not, *we* are going to medical.” I picked Miki up, cradled her in my arms, and carried her to medical.

* * * *

“Well, Doctor Pollard, what’s wrong with my friend?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? She feels dizzy and nauseous. Miki hasn’t been sick in ages, and you say there is nothing wrong with her. I felt her breasts, because I had an empathic reaction, and they are swollen, flushed and tender. This is breast cancer, isn’t it? We had a cat die from it.”

“Joanie, Miki is in the best of heath. There is no evidence of infection, poison, parasites, cancer or a host of other reasons for her symptoms. There is no evidence of magical attack or enchantment. The swelling and tenderness in her breasts is normal and to be expected. Put simply, Miki is a superbly healthy female mongoose and should have no difficulty in carrying her babies to term. Congratulations.”

“Miki’s pregnant!?”

~~I’m a mother?!~~

-- THUD --

-- Thud --

“I have two female patients who have fainted in examination room three; I need assistance,” Dr. Pollard called into the intercom system.

* * * *

To be continued
Special thanks to Bob Arnold for his advice and the use of Jennifer Marie Stevens and other wonderful *toys* from Zapped

Faith Bowie, Erin Flynn, Alexis Eden but not the State of Connecticut are all the properties of Julie_O

Karen_J, thanks for your advice and for spotting that missed punchline.