so anyway …
duty calls for a second Ditz dose in two days but don’t think there’s any chance of my delivering anything as reliable as a daily post, I’m no Angharad, though I did Eve’s drop a witch at a party once describing me as “Easy as falling on a bike.” Meow! N I thought sisters were s’posed to stick together. Waddever, have to admit I do need to get my cogs turned on a regular basis n that brings me back to the track I’m s’posed to be pedalling, no not cats n cogs — admission — in both senses of the word, you know both the ‘kiss on the cheek to take a peek’ and the ‘sorry I dunnit’ meanings, see I got two duties to fulfil today, one nice one not, so starting with the nice one I gotta give you all a big blubbering sloppy ploppy lipglossy smackeroo for the wonderful arms wide open welcome from so many BCTSers, all those warm comments luvly PMs hugs n kisses set the rain a fallin’ no end, talk about tracks of my tears I looked like Alice Cooper on Fear Factor by the time I logged off last night (anyone gotta good ‘long and thick’ waterproof mascara they can recommend? I use black purple n forest green n no, not all at the same time) my surprise surprise among the comments was Stanman’s pantyhose expertise, maybe you could start your own Tight Spot, well just for you Stanman here’s a little secret, I wear panties both under and over my tights n yes, at the same time, under coz I don’t like pantyhose nylon in direct contact with my netherendings, makes a lady glow if you get my meaning so it’s almost always silk, satin or cotton that gets to occupy the crease, n over coz I’m not the longest in the leg department, hence the habitual heels, an crotch drift and Nora Batty wrinkles can be a real issue but a top pair of lycra, spanx or muffin stopping panties prevents the penguin effect by securing pantyhose at full mast even in a full day of stretches n crouches n afore you question ‘tween leg temperature I’m out of tights n into summer stockings at the speed of sunshine. Anyroadup, rubbing back to the gusset in hand the second duty I guess I’ve been dallying is a bit of a confession, I’m sorry I dunnit n I think you’ll understand once I explain the circs, see it was one of those innocent little things that gathered its own momentum and just martinied, with consequences well beyond what any girl could reasonably anticipate at the time, so anyway we were all in the ladies swapping bras when I noticed one of our gang with a pair of negative fried eggs, you know, nice tan all round the outside but white as a sheet on a washer woman’s clothesline in the middle, I mean the gal was about to go touring that’s why we were all gathered together to give her a send-off as we don’t see her every day since she got married n we miss her n it’ll be a while afore she can sneak out again n anyway back to the confessional, she hasn’t got big puppies but they are perfectly formed and she has a figure you’d lie for so you can be pretty blunt with her on beauty tips soooh she slips into Jean’s lime green quarter-cup push-up n they look like a couple of dwarf albino monks peering over the pizza counter so I step in with my four n a half inch on-loan Jimmy Choo and tell her straight, you can’t go globetrotting with a couple of underdone pastey pasties, get down to the south of France I sez, get yourself an all over tan I sez, get that new husband of yours to find you a nice quiet sun soaked balcony and put some colour into those yolks I sez, n that’s just what Katie did. Keep 'em puckered ...
k-jo