so anyway …
given it’s the focus of so many postings on BCTS I figured this is probably about as safe an environment as I’m gonna find to come clean on my love hate relationship with food I mean one in three stories on the site are seemingly half transition half recipe book n while I may not be the most particular person in the world when it comes to what goes in my mouth I do have a pretty good palette love good food multi-textures n subtle flavours what I hate is the impact on my body n have to admit did let myself go to seed somewhat over the last few years but re-girded my loins this spring n am starting to get my act together again including a new diet that’s sloughed like 26 pounds off in six months ‘oh k-jo tell us your secret’ I hear you beggin’ waddever, it’s a unique approach based on a simple Chinese philosophy, eat less food, so I bin putting smaller heaps on my plate avoiding seconds n cutting down on the ‘tween meals chocolot, HaggleDash ice cream n lick-risk allsorts n while the results have yet to fully return me to my inner-svelte I’m at least on the way to the nimble girl I once was n half the woman I became not that I have anything against girls with something to hold on to (unfortunately) I mean Jem’s got my weather dreams filled with forecasts of heavy Rayne but don’t ask me for any recipes coz I’m more of a bedroom carpet miss than kitchen linoleum misses n don’t really have the shoes for cooking sure I can boil a kettle n toast bread with the best of ‘em but to me ‘over-easy ‘ is less a culinary instruction and more a compliment of my physical enthusiasm n it’s not as if there’s a complete dearth of domesticity in Ditzyland I can fry as well as boil n even have a special spatula with a screw-in extension so I can reach to flip while standing beyond spitting distance coz olive oil n haute couture are not happy bunk-bunnies I mean the whole reason I swallow is so as not to risk dribbling on the designer-wear but it’s just not practical to align a matching apron for every outfit n uncoordinated cooking covers are pretty much self-defeating as it’s not safe to eat for at least four hours after a wardrobe clash. Anyroadup, Psychodelia Smith need never fear ‘K-Jo’s Corn-Cob Creations’ keeping her ‘50 Million Ways to Crack an Egg’ off the top of the literary cook book bestsellers list as the only cookery club I ever invested in has a long handle n bounces off the heads of food fascists I mean for all the current popularity for TV chefs none of them pass anywaay, with my attention span recipes are never gonna work I mean in any tri-step programme my third point is always ‘What was step 1 again?’ besides recipes always start out with something like ‘first take one platypus’ n that’s just the wrong way round for a girl that expects to be taken, preferably to somewhere nice n expensive . Keep ‘em puckered ...
k-jo