A long time ago, the Earth blessed four spirits, making them gods. The gods of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water, oversee their realms, creating sentient creatures to help cultivate their lands. These beings constantly war over each other, eventually driving the servants of Water, the Merfolk, to extinction. Millennia later Kyle Weathers receives a gift from an old but mysterious lady while working in Haiti. This gift will change his life forever.

Chapter 12:  ½ Full

There I was, in front of a crowd of hundreds who were there to celebrate this joyous occasion; a crowd of my people, my kind, the merfolk. Here I was, draped in the most beautiful garbs made of the finest of material, they were clothes made for a princess.

In front of me was a merman, stunning in appearance. He had the physique that would make any girl go gaga. His body was a physical specimen, trained to champion the cause of my people. He too, wore a finely woven garb, which only accentuated his beauty. I vividly remember this day.

Under his breath, in Merfolk tongue, I could remember his words, even now.

“With this oath we will be bound as one. The eggs you will lay will be the template to build our people’s bright future. Let us lead our people into a new golden age.”

Such words were never so eloquently spoken. How they made me weak in the fins. He was my rock, and it would be my honor to marry such a man.

I woke up from my dream. From my experiences I knew that wasn’t some hallucination. That was me, ten thousand years ago. The memories slowly but surely return to me. Something obviously triggered it.

It all began with Eliza. I wanted to be with her. At least I thought. I was trying to force myself to be something I was no longer. As a male landdweller I found her very attractive. So much I wanted to maintain that identity.

When I pressed too hard she denied me. I thought the rejection stung at first, but maybe it was the hard truth I was about to face. All it took was a few bottles of beer to lower my walls and give into my true self. When I had sex with Doug I felt so wonderful. To have him in me was a joy that I never felt as a man.

And yet, to me, guilt feels worse than rejection. That I, albeit unknowingly, used him, just so I could be with someone, anyone. Release my hormones and he’s practically under my beck and call. Even so ignorance is not an excuse for my actions that night. My behavior was inexcusable.

And with all of that the confusion set in. I still fought in my mind, although the battles were very short and rather pointless. Do I really like guys? My mind used to fight off these realizations but in my heart, I knew.

I was a girl mentally as I was physically. And the dreams proved it. I remembered him, my one and only.

Marid. Just saying that name made me feel all warm inside. He was one of my champions, or guardians of my safety and well being. At first it was a simple working relationship, but soon I found his attitude and behavior very enticing. He was a go getter; someone whom would rather be in the front lines accomplishing some major goal instead of being pent up guarding me. I shared that sentiment. Growing up I too became rather proficient at fighting; my skills with a spear were practically unmatched, even for many of our warriors.

However, I’m sure that my mother, Alora, knew of my desires. The Merfolk were a very protective society, even with my skill. The past rulers were always protected, particularly when the war between the other three races took part. Even me, being a Demigod, was proved too sacred just to lead into battle head on. That’s why Alora knew that his influence would most likely drive me to go against tradition and fight alongside my people.

I fell for Marid, just like I fell for Doug. That was all the proof I needed. I indeed was a mermaid, a female who naturally felt attracted to the male gender, and nothing else. I felt the most comfort with a man, protecting me, supporting me, to be assertive more often than not, particularly in the bedroom. I wanted him to take me.

Women just didn’t cut it anymore. And that would take time to sink in. Sometimes I would slowly try to immerse myself in my new sexuality. In my human form sometimes I would lay back on some highly populated beach, watching the young studs play volleyball as the sun glittered across their perspired skin. I figured the “look but don’t touch approach” was the most appropriate. And while I did find certain attractiveness in them, I still had doubts about myself. It was all so foreign and yet so normal to me. The more comfortable I was the more I could accept myself.

And still even those boys couldn’t come close to the man Marid was. He was the only one I could dream about without my inhibitions popping up. I could accept him. He was my fiancé and future husband.

And he’s gone.

All I had was the present, and by fighting my true feelings I was hurting everyone who cared for me. If I didn’t wish to be alone then I need to make amends.

The first person I really needed to apologize to was Eliza. It has been a few months since I left her. I felt bad about how it all ended. Still, I felt that I could salvage our friendship.

It’s been a good 2 months since I ran away from Eliza. Coming back once more I found it surprising how quickly Port au Prince was rebuilding itself. For all the things that humans are criticized for, in the heat of the moment, when crisis strikes, they know how to come together, regardless of race, religion, or sex. Sometimes it takes the point of view an outsider like me to realize and admire that.

Through a little investigation and by talking with some of her colleagues I heard she decided to become a full time worker here. She hasn’t returned to her homeland once, and has considered applying for citizenship. She apparently felt a kinship to the people here, and that their need for support gives her reason to remain here.

So I followed the information given to me and in my human form walked to an apartment flat right next to the coastline. It was very convenient for someone like me who needed to ocean for survival. Wonder if she was considering me when taking this place. Walking inside her residence I saw her, apparently checking up on a little kid whom apparently was getting over sickness. Turning to see me brought some sort of sparkle in her eye, although I couldn’t tell if it was from joy or anger.

Looking at her patient she said, “You look good. Now go on out and play.”

With him gone all that remained was the two of us.

“Eliza,” I began, but really didn’t have the words to express all the emotions I felt at the moment.

Putting down her stethoscope she rushed to me and held me in an embrace. “Oh Ithycca,” she cried with tears of happiness running down her cheek. I couldn’t help myself and shed a few of my own. I knew, even after all of this, she still cared for me. I was very fortunate.

10 minutes later we were in her living room, with her bringing in a couple glasses of raspberry tea. Sitting down we began to talk, and Eliza was first to break the ice.

“I’m so sorry,” she began. “I know how hard it was for you. You were a man, and here you are, unsure of what to do, or how to act.”

I stopped her, and pointed out the contrary. “No, Eliza. I was wrong. It was because of me trying to fight for my masculinity I forced myself on you. I was trying to fight for something I didn’t have, and because of that, I nearly lost what I had already: your friendship.”

“I never wanted to lose that,” she stated, “I know how awkward it is. When you hadn’t visited in awhile I assumed you never wanted to see me again. I thought my rejection caused you to move on.”

Taking a sip from my tea I replied, “Your rejection was just what I needed, Eliza. I needed a wakeup call. I needed to take the time to understand and accept what I’ve become, what I am.” Taking a deep breath I let it all out, “I…I like boys Eliza. When I yelled at you that night, I did it because I was afraid of what I had become. I felt like I was losing myself, like I said. But my love for you, that wasn’t true. I was lying to myself, and I know this now.”

She smiled, “I think you love me Ithy,” she said, shocking me. “And I love you. But I love you the way two very close straight women would love each other. I want to be there for you. I want to help you with whatever it is you’re dealing with. I just wish you’d talk to me. If I would have known what you were dealing with a little sooner perhaps we would have gotten through this.”

“I’m sorry,” I responded.

“It’s okay,” she answered. “I’m just glad you were able to sort some things out.”

“Yeah,” I meekly said, “I’m still not used to these feelings yet.”

With the smirk growing wider she suggested, “Well we could always double date sometime. I do know a couple of guys. It’ll be fun. I’ll even teach some pointers. Trust me; there is nothing more enjoyable than being pampered by a guy.”

I could imagine. I guess maybe I am a little materialistic; I am a princess after all. Having boys buying stuff for me sounded like a fantastic deal.

“I would like that a lot,” I replied.

“Hey! What about me?” I heard a voice speaking from overhead. And right on cue, Kali popped into the picture.

“Can I ever have some privacy?” I whined.

“Hey, I am your guardian, remember?” Kali taunted joyfully.

Looking at her Eliza replied, “I…guess you can always join us.”

Letting out a squeal of excitement, she exclaimed, “Yay! Just give me some time to change. This’ll be fun!”

Vanishing into thin air, Eliza looked at me, and remarked, “She is a weird one isn’t she?”

Looking back at her I shared her sentiment, “Definitely.”

We made our way to the bar- the very same one when I had my date with Eliza as Kyle so long ago. This time I was the one being escorted, this time by a man named Eric. He was joined by his friends James and Lyle. All of them were good friends with Eliza- fellow British volunteers who came to Haiti to help clean up the place after the major quake.

The bar was one of the biggest remodels. From what it was it became a best example I could think of for the progress this country had shown. Eliza, along with the three guys, made this a priority to fix up, not only because they needed a better place to hang out, but because that even the citizens need a place to get away and just enjoy their selves for a change. And it’s true that this building had a whole different atmosphere than the rest of the city outside. I was impressed.

As a treat they decided to bring us over to the hibachi and have one of their chefs in training cook up a wonderful Caribbean dish. Kali seemed to get excited at this. She immediately got my attention.

“Hey, I didn’t know this was a restaurant and spa,” she whispered.

I didn’t even know what the hell she was talking about. “What?”

“Well, isn’t that what this thing is?” she continued. “Looks like a tanning bed.”

“We cook food on it, Kali,” I told her.

“Oh,” she realized, and then commented under her breath, “Note to self. Invest heavily on hibachis, sell to Djinn as the latest breakthrough for a comfortable night’s sleep.”

I resumed facepalming. Obviously the way Djinn cook is so vastly different from us.

Talking to Eric, I began to admire the young man. He reminded me so much of myself back when I was Kyle. He was a captain of his college’s rowing team, and was trying hard to get into Oxford for his Graduate program. Most of all he seemed kind of down to earth which was a welcomed respite from all the craziness my life has recently granted me.

Seeing the progress that was being made Eliza wanted to further immense me in a woman’s culture, inviting me to “head to the ladies room” to freshen up. Why not, I figured. It gave me a little time to chat with my friends.

Shutting the door behind me, Eliza was the first to break the ice.

“So Ith,” she began. “How does everything feel?”

I answered as best as I could describe it. “It feels…nice,” I replied. “I’m enjoying it.”

“Eric is a sweet man, isn’t he?” She continued.

“He seems that way,” I said. I did think he was a swell guy, but I just didn’t feel the connection. Maybe it was because he felt so much similar to my old life, even though I could only remember bits and pieces of my life as Kyle. Or maybe it was because I was in love with someone else- someone I took advantage of.

“Isn’t this your first date as a girl?” Kali asked. “Doesn’t it feel awesome just being able to experience the other side? How now you’re the one being pampered?”

“I’m surprised myself,” Eliza stated. “I thought you like girls.”

“I do!” Kali answered. “I’m an equal opportunity lover!”

“I was initially worried you would try to run off with Ithycca again,” she admitted, “but I’m happy to see you’re behaving yourself for a change.”

“What do you mean by that!?” She asked, offended by her recent remark.

“Oh, nothing,” she replied. Suddenly Eliza waved her hand and a baseball-sized rock appears and dropped on Kali’s cranium.

“OW!” she cried, rubbing her head.

“What did you just do?!” I cried, not able to believe that Eliza just casted magic!”

“Oh, it was just a little payback for a few months ago,” She replied. “Your aunt is surprisingly a good teacher.”

Gaia was training Eliza now? For what? I wasn't so sure if I wanted her to be involved. Unfortunately I was never able to get any more information out of her. It was definitely something I'll have to bring up to her later.

“…I said I was sorry!” Kali pouted.

“And now we’re even,” Eliza remarked. It was kind of hilarious seeing Eliza with such a proud smirk on her face.

The rest of the night passed without much incident. The three guys offered to take us back to their place. Kali immediately agreed- no surprise there. Eliza also took up her date’s offer. They were mostly just friends anyway, they felt like I needed a little alone time and decided to let me have Eliza’s place tonight all to myself, if I needed to. I was nervous at the idea of being alone with some stranger I’ve haven’t gotten to completely know yet, but it looks like I was going to have much choice in the matter. Eric was going to be taking me home this night.