Lead Shoes-7

Chapter 7

Well it’s been a long two weeks. I didn’t know all of the legal stuff that took place in getting my application for me actually getting adopted by Mum.

Yeah I call Aunt Holly Mum now.

Most of it was trying to get in touch with my birth mom who was a no show, it turned out after a serious search that was done through the Mounties who talked to the FBI where I’m an American and she was last seen in the states that she had been seen in Reno, Nevada.

They sent e-mails, and even sent stuff by snail mail and process server and all that stuff but there was and hasn’t been any response and it turns out she’s wanted on charges for fraud…bad checks…drug possession and trafficking charges.

Yay lovely.

I got to see her mug shots that they had of her and she’s looks like she could be right up there in the druggie’s f-ed up department like Dad.

It was actually Dad that helped us out the most. He didn’t just sign off on the custody papers but his lawyer was told to help us out too and that where my birth mom just took off that she had pretty much given up any custodial rights and stuff.

The only big problem was Nan’s church…they got wind of me transitioning and they tried to petition the courts that aunt Holly wasn’t a fit guardian and that she was putting my soul at risk. It really scared the you know what out of me when we got those letters. I like it here and it’s not just getting to be me but the way that the courts work up here.

The case got tossed out of court as soon as the judge asked me if I was a member of their congregation. It was as simple as me telling him no that because of having to live under Nan’s roof I didn’t have much choice of what church that I went to.

They tried to argue back but he said they had no standing over me or legal claims as I was not a member of their congregation. And I wasn’t there for the part where two of them got charged with contempt of court when they berated him on his ethics and morality.

Dumbasses…even I know you don’t do that to a judge.

Me being that close to being legal age also helped out a lot. It was just some papers in the end really making us legally mother and daughter and me changing my name officially too.

My name is actually Mikayla now. Mikayla Dawn Taylor now, and I officially have ID now saying that with a picture of me as actually me and that’s a big deal.

As big a deal as me having my carry letter.

As big a deal as me getting cleared by my therapist to start seeing my endocrinologist.

Getting my scripts.

I swear I can really feel the differences in me already. I mean its happening and stuff
But it’s not happening that fast.

And life’s actually good for a change.

I’ve settled into my routines of my chores which is the laundry and the dishes and taking out the garbage. But I help out with other things like cleaning the floor since when I use my chair it does seem to get dirty a lot faster and cleaning just in general.

Mum gives me an allowance of seventy dollars a week and that comes from the government money that she gets to have for me being there plus another stipend like thingy. I don’t know the Canadians have something called a child tax credit and there’s more money from this other thing where I’m differently abled and they’ll pay me so much a month or in my name so much a month as long as I’m in school or college until I’m like twenty five.

All good but the foster care money is gone now that I’m adopted and that was a lot of money given my condition and everything.

My doctors and therapists have helped too getting us hooked up with a lot of free things that I might need and the bar where Mum works actually has pretty great health insurance. And that’s still a big thing here even in Canada because prescriptions and stuff isn’t covered here for a lot of stuff really. And I guess forget about like glasses and dental but her boss is pretty good and a friend of people from the old days. I don’t thing he’s like a biker or a criminal but I bet he knows a lot of them.

I’ve been to the Stratton Bike Club with her a few times usually when she’s got to go in for a booze order to restock the place. It’s a big bar and a lot like that bar from the movie Roadhouse with Swayze in it but closer to town and yet not too far from the highway.

Her boss is a guy called Blake and he’s this big kinda fat huge bear of a guy that’s like well over six feet and really scary looking and everything. He’s a complete teddy bear and treats all the staff there pretty good.

I’m a sucker for the Stratton’s wings though. I’ve never had buffalo wings before and there have some kind of breading and this hot sauce their tossed it and there’s a blue cheese mayo to dip it that is just…it’s that good they serve it with their steaks too and put it on like three of their burgers.

But the biggest reason that I’ve been tagging along is Blake’s nephew. Dennan…

Sigh…

He’s part Irish and like really Irish. From that Belfast place and came over here to live with Blake when he was like seven and something bad happened over there. He’s just a bit older than me at seventeen and he’s got still a bit of that accent there that makes him all dreamy to talk to and stuff.

Yeah I like boys…more so too I think that the stuff’s kicking in and my blockers are turning off the other stuff and everything but I’m pretty damn sure there aren’t gay thoughts because he makes places of me tingle that aren’t really places yet.

And Denny…yeah he goes by Denny for short which is weird when you write it out but different when you say it….anyway he knows all about me and stuff and he hasn’t freaked out on me or anything.

Oh I know it’ll never go anywhere because well he’s got a girlfriend and she’s so good looking it nearly puts me on edge and stuff…(insert swearing) mumble…mumble…Jennifer Foxx clone…but there’s nothing wrong with like sort of crushing on a guy right?

Sammi and I are getting to be better friends too. We see each other at the Y and we talk online or we have been talking online when she’s not working. She’s got a part time summer job working at McHellnolds and she hates it, either getting stuck on fry station duty or if she’s on a late night shift getting put in one of the drive through windows.

We talk on the phone too. A lot actually and I’ve even been introduced to two of her friends by conference call Becky and Jinx…yeah apparent Jinx is her real name. I haven’t met them yet but I want to.

…………………………………..Today was rough. Just another bad day and it started by waking me up. I get this weird pain dream where I’m sort of in that machine from the movie “The Princess Bride: and it’s that feeling like your being twisted on a torture rack and that it just hurts for so long that it just feels like something had sucked the life out of you. I hurt which must have meant that I was spasming while I was out of it asleep. I take stuff to help me sleep because there’s nights that if I didn’t that I would just be kinda sorta curled around the pillows.

It’s one of those morning where someone’s been using my legs for jujutsu practice while someone spent the rest of the night hitting me with a folded over wet towel. The muscles in my back and sides are hurting too.

The thing about the hormones is they can affect your mood pretty quickly and there’s enough running through my system right now and …

When you wake up like this after so long, after over and over you do get to a point where you emotionally feel just as abused as your body does.

I rolled over and curled up on my blankets and pillows and just wasn’t able to keep from bawling my eyes out.

My right arm had a spasm week moment getting up with my walker and I went down. Hard sideways which brought Mum running in. “Kayla are you okay!”

“Yeah I’m fine.” I start getting up. She goes to help me which just lit the shortest fuse that I think I ever had and I shoved her away.

“Just leave me alone…I can get up myself y’know!”

She looks at me and works her jaw. “I was just trying to help.”

“I’m not a fucking invalid!” I yelled it at her and I’ve never yelled at anyone in my life.

I can tell it hurt and she could’ve done a lot of things but instead set this look on her face and exhaled. “Fine, I’ll be down in the kitchen.” She turned and she walked out and she didn’t help me get up either. I pulled myself up and used my walker to go to the bathroom and stuff and I had a crying jag while sitting in the shower and another one after my third failure out of five to put my make up on.

But I got dressed without too many problems and texted Sammi.

[Having a bad day…CP’s being a bitch this morning. And so am I.]

[Okay…? What did u do?]

[Took a freak on Mum.]

[‘bout what?]

[Her trying to help me up. I’m not an invalid!]

[Sorta R.]

[F-U.]

[Fine…though you’re being hormonal.]

I tried texting back but it just kept going to her messages and stuff. It was likely the hormones though…I hope…I…I don’t want to fuck things up.

I’m quiet when I get to the kitchen and breakfast and part of the day is spent in awkward silence as I think that I hurt her and I’m having a bad symptom day and just on edge with things all morning. If anything we avoid each other all day with me spending my time in my room mostly listening to music.

I tried video games but taking a twitch and dying in game because of that got old pretty fast.

Mum comes in around two thirty. She sit’s on the bed and looks at me. “I’m going to work…are we alright Kayla?”

(Sniffle.) “Yeah….I’m sorry it’s just that everything’s just been and felt extra sucky today.”

“That’s alright honey…I’ll admit that it took me by surprise and kind of hurt because you’ve never really been this upset about stuff so…I tried to give you your space.”

“Sammi says it’s the hormones.”

“Actually it might be. You’re hitting that kind of tween rush with them now.”

“So…”

“So it’s okay. I’ll try to keep that stuff in mind and cut you a little slack with this.”

“Thanks Mum.”

“Hey I love you kiddo I just wanted to make sure that we were good.”

“I love you Mum.”

“I Love you too. I’m going to leave some cash for take out you just take it easy okay honey and try to ride though it.”

(Sniffle.) “’Kay”

……………………………. I made my way out to the living room after she left and brought my laptop and got the electric blanket on the couch and nuked a beer mug halfway full of chicken broth out of one of those boxes and I lost myself in feeling miserable and watching TV mindlessly.

I was going to get some pizza when my phone rings. I look at it and its Sammi. I’m too tired to be pissed at her and stuff so I answer.

“Hey…”

“Kayla….(Sniffle-crying.)”

“Sammi? What’s wrong.”

“There’s a…there’s a bunch of them from school and…and they’ve been around and been assholes all night…”

“Huh!...what’s going on?”

“They know I’m the way I am but they’re being real (sniffle) assholes about it tonight and they’ve been calling me names and stuff every time the pull up to the drive through …”

“Are you okay? Did they threaten you?”

“Nno…but I’m…I’m scared.”

“You tell your manager?”

“No…she’s not here and it Evelyn tonight as assistant manager.”

Great Evil-Lynn hates Sammi and even though she hasn’t said or done anything wrong she’s always a complete bitch to anyone she doesn’t like.

“Okay…..”

I bite my lip and I think for a minute. “Okay, I’ll be down there as soon as I can okay.”

“Okay….but…but what are you going to be able to do…?”

“I’ll think of something.”

You’d be amazed at how much anger and adrenaline can get you moving even when you’re having a bad day. I pop some pain killers too because I might need them and take a couple of valium because Sammi might need them and I call a cab to take me down to the McDonalds where she works at.

I pay the cabbie and get out and head to the doors on my regular crutches and I see the Camero at the drive through. Sammi’s there and she’s passing them a small soda and I can see this guy driving and a girl beside him and three people in the back seat but their all leaning toward her and their laughing and Sammi’s crying as they’re saying what ever.

I huff it over to them and I catch “Tranny creep.” And “Alqueera” and I heard the driver say… “I never knew that Apu liked to sucka the cock.”

I get to the take out window and shout at the guy. “Hey! Asshole shut the fuck up!”

“What are you goin to do make me? You are a pussy Samir letting a crippled chick fight your battles for you.”

I lean against the side of the drive through window box and adjust my crutches. “I said leave her alone.”

“Fuck off cunt, like I said…”

Once I’m sort of standing and stable and I don’t need my crutches to walk I take one of then and just start using it as a baseball bat to his Camero. It’s an aluminum crutch and good and study and all that stuff from today and from way back…like all that stuff from like all my life comes out as I’m beating the hell out of his car and he peals out of there when I crack the glass on his window.

And that’s when I lose my balance and fall over.

I start to almost hysterically giggle as he squeals his tires leaving the parking lot that fast.