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think we've all asked that question on occasion. But maybe it has special meaning for trans people like me. More than anything, I feel a need to know if my gender issues were caused by my rape, or would I have them regardless? I believe I was always going to be Dorothy, no matter what, but I don't know that there is any way to be 100 % sure while I'm still alive. The only real proof I have that I am on the right track is that I have made significant progress in dealing with my past, and there's no sign of a decrease in how much I want to be a woman physically. I don't know if that would be convincing to anyone, but it helps me. Ah, well.
Comments
People keep needing
to justify why they're doing anything. Why not just go with how you feel now? Providing you're not doing irrevocable does it matter? Instead of looking for reasons why or someone or thing to blame, take responsibility for your life and do what you want - it's quite empowering.
Angharad
Angharad
Thoughts
Yes, we all do ask that question as some point. The answer, at least according to me, is we are the sum of our experiences. If any of the experiences would have been different, we would have been different. Not necessarily better or worse, just different. However, regardless of our past or our present, we must be careful not to play “what if†because it adds no value to what we are.
MT
Genetics
At least there are very strong evidencies that transexualism that is felt from early childhood is assiciated with a genetic variance from the most common sequence.
Mikael Landén: Transsexualism, dissertation at Gothemburg University 1998 (?)
I have it somewhere in the piles here but cannot find it right now. There might be genetic background to other forms as well, but the research material to make any statistical comparisions were to low at the time of his docorate research
Ginnie Gidlund
WPATH
GinnieG
Identity
I added a comment to Gwen's post linking to the videos on young TS people, but all I can say here is that it is a deeply personal thing, different in every individual. I suppose I should count myself as a 'classical' case, in one way. I knew from childhood that I was wrong, and why, and struggled through most of my life trying to hammer the real me down. That's one way. Others go through life with no clear idea of what the wrongness is, just that it is there. It may take some specific event or revelation for them to understand it. As Bev Taff has explained so often, some people don't fall neatly into the dichotomy, they are genderqueer or otherwise individually distinct. Apparently, the late Sonia Burgess came into that category.
The only person who can know is the subject themself. Talking things through with a decent therapist or counsellor can clarify things, but there is nobody else that can KNOW. All any other person can do is confirm or recognise. As Angharad says, it's empowerment. Your story so far reeks of powerlessness, of being the ball in a pinball machine. Nothing you have done now is irrevocable, so follow your head and your heart and stop beating yourself up.