My sincere apoligies to anyone who was offended by my little essay. (Which, judgeing from the responce, was most people who read it). I hoped to get a conversation going on the subject, and boy, did that succeed, but never meant to hurt anybody's feelings. Right now i am debating trying to reword it better, or maybe just dumping it entirely as a bad job. I will think about it for a couple of days, and then decide.
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Comments
One danger
we all fall victim to from time to time is that we can only see things from our own perspective.
It takes years for many of us to even admit we are fundamentally different from society's views of who we are and/or should be. It shouldn't be surprising that it often takes a lifetime of introspection to 'figure out' ourselves, if that's even possible or definable.
I read the earlier post, and didn't comment because I thought to myself, 'She's just reaching the point where she is trying to categorize things. She's to be forgiven for oversimplifying.' As I said, if it isn't your own perspective, it's hard to understand from someone else's. Try to think how hard it would be to describe faithfully a beautiful summer sunset in the upper midwest to a person blind from birth, and you might get an idea of what I'm trying to say. Then show the same scene to twenty sighted people and ask them what it means, and you'll get twenty different answers. And so it goes.
I sincerely hope no one was offended or hurt by your earlier remarks too, but we are all adults here, we should understand you weren't trying to denigrate anyone.
God bless you on your quest for understanding.
Hugs
Carla Ann
Don't change a word!
You clearly stated that what you wrote was your OPINION...not accepted and incontrovertible fact!
They misunderstood or misread, and reacted like they thought you were stating facts. They're good gals, and I think they know that they overreacted.
Yes they had very good points, but they could have been phrased a bit less confrontationally, I think. If you re-write the bog entry based on the knowledge you might have gained from their responses, then that's fine, but if you re-write it based on trying to apologise for having an opinion... well, I think that's the wrong reason to re-write. Your intent wasn't to confront anyone, but to state an opinion.
Cathy
As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script.
Denial
It isn't just a river in Egypt.
Whenever you open a discussion on gender in a place like this, you have to expect everyone who has an opinion is going to voice it. You'll live a longer and happier life if you take up less risky hobbies like playing Russian Roulette with an automatic.
Nancy Cole
"You may be what you resolve to be."
T.J. Jackson
Offended? Hardly!
Hey you stated your opinion, coming from what you know. Mine happens to be different, but my life experience is completely different so that is only to be expected.
Given most of what I've read about treatment modalities and such, I suspect I would find the review of a first interview with me to be really fun to read.
"So what made you decide you are transsexual instead of just a gay crossdresser?"
"Well, it could have something to do with the fact that I'm a nudist and I'd be perfectly happy just being a normal gay guy, tried that one on for 20 years, didn't fly."
"So why do you dress now? And why in cargo khaki's and a t-shirt which could fit either gender? And why no makeup?"
"Well, doc, as I said, I'm a nudist. I have to put clothes on to go out of the house(and besides, the rash you get from nude biking is not to be believed!). I ride my bike and the busses everywhere and it's 95 degrees out. Loose comfortable clothing with lots of cargo space for all the things I need to carry is a must, but makeup is a complete nonstarter. It's called being poor!"
"Now here's your money for this waste of my time. Have a nice day, and bother doing some research before you call yourself a therapist specializing in Gender Identity Issues!"
As a side note, doctors in the ER don't react all that well on average when you come in telling them what is wrong with you and what treatment is needed. I think the best reaction I got was from a doc who was seeing me for the second time in his ER in the course of 3 months.
The initial conversation was fantastic.
"Hiya doc, What's up?"
"Nothing different here, what'd you do to yourself this time?" (The previous encounter and a follow up visit had been a result of getting hit by a car on my bike and getting a torn ACL).
"Well, I learned about a wrong way to take a shortcut over a chain link fence. Didn't work out real well, so I need you to check me out, but I really think I just need like 6 or 7 stitches and a tetanus shot..." This while I undid my impromptu paper towel and duct tape bandage to show him the rather large and slightly ragged hole the fence had ripped just below my pinky finger on my left hand)
Anyway, he checked to make sure I hadn't damaged a nerve or anything really vital and movement was unimpaired, commented on how lucky I had been with the precise placement of the injury (and trust me, that was the purest of luck)I wound up with a tetanus shot(which I needed, not having had one for I think 26 years before that) and 7 stitches, but he did me one better and used some of that godawful smelling surgical glue.
Even better, he was generous with the local anesthetic so there was almost no pain involved in the process(excepting the initial injury, and honestly, that was too fast for the pain to really register) and I watched him work and we chatted while he did his repairs. He tried to teach me the technique he used and how to do it, but I have to say, I'm pretty sure I didn't grasp it.
Probably the best experience I've ever had dealing with doctors.
Abby
Dorothy Colleen
What's your goal?
If you want to understand yourself and think self-exploration is the best route, you should continue to post your opinions and learn from the fallout.
If you want to be the most popular person on BCTS, be prepared to play all the social games you learned in junior high. This is a community of human beings, which is to say we have our share of bitches and mean girls.
Your essay was rather vanilla as many, many people share that point of view.
I'm not saying that those who disagreed with your essay are bitches. In fact, if I remember who commented, they are all quite nice and wouldn't knowingly strike out at anyone.
It you run for cover every time someone on BCTS yanks your chain, you will live a very sheltered life.
Understand that BCTS has its cliques and biased viewpoints. You stepped into one of the quagmires by trying to draw a connection between cross-dressers and transsexuals. You will learn -- if you stick around long enough -- that many here think males are bad. Cross-dressing males are no less bad in their minds than any other males. In fact, cross-dressing males might even be worse than other males, because they taint the world's opinion of transsexuals. (That is not a view I hold.)
If you want to be popular or garner votes, hits, and comments for your stories, you need to write from the perspective that all males serve only two purposes -- and those are to eventually become female -- or die/ and / or live a life of abject humiliation.
The vast majority of human beings on this planet would have an extremely hard time making a distinction between a transgendered person and a cross-dresser, yet on BCTS that distinction is EVERYTHING.
This is solely my opinion, but it is an opinion based on being involved in BCTS for about a decade, which gives me years of seniority over all but a few.
If you stick around long enough, you will learn that I'm one of the bitches, but I prefer to be called "acerbic".
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)