Author's Note: Here's something that I've been working on for the last few months, on and off. I've got a few chapters finished, but it's more of a serial than a story that will take a while to complete. Photo Credit: Amye E.

Episode Two

Winter came early along with all the colorful cute seasonal clothes. At lunch that day with Emma, Grace, and Hannah I was wearing a red and green sweater dress with thick black patterned tights and pointy-toe knee boots. I was pleasantly cozy warm while Grace was filling us in on her latest acquisition.

“… and his hair is so thick and soft. I love cuddling with him.”

Over the last few months I learned to appreciate the subtly of girl talk. It wasn’t all cute boys and who got the info on the latest fashion, mindless banter. There was a purpose and deeper meanings behind what I thought were groups of airheads giggling and gossiping. It was the spirit of sisterhood.

I never understood the concept of a sorority. As a guy I always thought it was a bunch of stuck up girls taking up worthless causes as an excuse to say they belonged to an exclusive group. Emma and Hannah were constantly trying to talk me into joining theirs, Zeta Beta somethingorother, while Samantha, Grace, and Avery wanted me in Phi Kappa whatchamacallit. I looked into both of them, what they did, and what their requirements for membership are. Let’s just say the main reason I didn’t join was because it was very expensive.

I couldn’t afford the monthly dues, the application fee, the initiation fee, the rush fee, the pin fee, the Pan-Hellenic council fee, the Greek life fee… it was ridiculous. Then there was all the extra time I’d have to take away from my studies in order to participate in meetings, volunteer projects, ad nauseum.

So instead of doing something so formal, I offered to become part of a little club we’d formed, aptly nicknamed, The Society. When they approached me about it, the first thing that popped into my mind was the Skull and Bones Society, one of those ultra-exclusive clubs that future presidents and leaders of industry join where they make fun of poor people and develop plots to take over the world.

Our mission was simply to feminize the world, not rule it.

The Society for the Promotion of Feminine Values crones loved the idea and was especially proud of my recruiting efforts for a new generation of girly girls. They were so impressed that they wanted to fund it in a more official capacity. Apparently a lot of them were getting on in years and dying off at a quicker rate so they wanted to leave a legacy of their own.

One of the off campus Greek houses, Alpha Beta Testosterone or something, had been shut down by the university and the Pan-Hellenic council for breaking several Greek rules and not showing any effort to reform. The SPFV bought the place and gave it to us to renovate and base our operations at. That was in October, so it was still being cleaned out and fixed up. It would officially reopen by the new semester and since it was off campus we could do what we wanted to do without having to follow the stupid Greek rules.

In the meantime, we’d gotten together to develop our own version of a sisterhood. But first we needed to recruit.

I don’t know how it happened, but I wound up being voted First Lady. Yes, you heard that right. The title of President was too masculine sounding and was immediately voted out. The irony of the whole situation wasn’t lost on me.

We didn’t have an official secretary so I took notes during our meeting about any ideas we had for spreading our influence.

“How about buttons?” Grace suggested.

Hannah shook her head. “Colors would clash and I hate the damage pins do to my blouses. Maybe bumper stickers?”

I shook my head at that one. “Too eighties, plus how often do you ride in a car at campus? We need to be more visible in a way that encourages answers to any questions someone might have.”

And this is how our meetings go. They’re not even really meetings. We just use lunch or dinner to go over certain ideas. It’s a lot more spur of the moment and gives us time to think about things or bring in outside ideas while doing something that we’d be occupied with anyway. This way we’re not interfering with our already overloaded schedules.

When I got back to the apartment, Kelsey was there sulking with a half empty pint of Ben & Jerry’s while she watched TV. Her attitude had dramatically worsened since the middle of October when she broke up with Brandon. Since it was her idea to end their relationship, I didn’t get why she was so down in the dumps and taking it out on me. Perhaps it had something to do with him calling out my name once when they were having sex.

That does tend to kill the mood.

She blamed me for it, of course. Even though I never flirted with him at all, I was blamed because he wanted her to ease up on the tomboyish look she sported all the time. Some of the guys in his fraternity were dating the girls from the Society and liked having pretty girls on their arms.

Frankly I think it was because of the lack of vaginal sex they were getting. As I’ve mentioned before, straight sex is a nono, because good girls wait until they’re married for that kind of thing. Being a part of the Society meant an increase in other types of activities to make up for it. Apparently I was the only virgin in that particular aspect. I’d had sex before, just not with a guy, so I wouldn’t know the first thing about oral or the other kind. Samantha seemed to like it better and it didn’t interfere with her monthly cycle, so she was all for alternative forms of sex. So were the guys.

Once Brandon had caught wind of what his frat brothers were doing, he wanted in on the action, but Kelsey wouldn’t budge. He eventually turned to fantasy and for some reason I was the star of his head-sex show that one evening.

How on earth do I get drawn in on these things?

“Hi,” I said as I closed the door.

She frowned at me and stabbed her ice cream with the spoon.

“Back from your group brainwashing session? Figure out how to set women’s liberation back another decade?”

I ignored her and went to my room to start on my homework. The flasher thingy on my answering machine was flashing, so I hit it before emptying my pack.

“Beep! Hi, Kayla, it’s Jenna from Beta Sigma (whatchamacallit). I’ve got five girls that are interested in hearing more about the Society. If you want to give me a call back, we’ll set something up for you to answer any questions they might have.”

Click-wirrr.

“Beep! Kayla, it’s Austin. Did you get the revised project notes from Harris’ class? I spilled coke all over mine and they’re trashed. Call me.”

Click-wirrr.

“Hi Kayla, it’s Brandon… um…”

In three seconds flat, Kelsey was at my door, looking at my machine like it was spawning a demon from Hell.

“Look, um…” he said. “I’ve been thinking. I’ve got tickets to see Ke$ha down in the city for this weekend. I know how much you like her music and wanted to know if you want to make a date of it with me. If you could call me tonight… my number is…”

I didn’t hear any more because Kelsey was screaming too loud.

“I knew it! How long have you two been sneaking around my back! Did you even wait until we were broken up before boning him?”

Looking at her like she was crazy I said. “I’m not gay and I haven’t even spoken to Brandon since you broke up with him.”

“Then how did he get your number? Huh?!”

“Kelsey, he lives with Austin. How do you think he got my number? Can you please go have your mental breakdown somewhere else? I have studying to do.”

I kind of fibbed a little when I told her I wasn’t gay. The truth was, the longer I played at being a girl the more I acted like boys were cute when I got together with the other girls. Seeing their perspective on things I integrated it into my new persona and eventually I started seeing what the girls were seeing. In due course, I made up my ideal man from bits and pieces of guys I’d play at liking. It was all detailed and dramatic which in turn made me start noticing guys more often, searching for the person I had in my head.

In other words, I was boy hunting and didn’t realize it until Avery pointed it out to me one day. She told me I needed to quit being so picky and get laid in one way or another.

What I’m getting at is while I may not be gay, I wasn’t totally heterosexual anymore. Maybe bi-curious might be a better description.

I still remember kissing Austin on the dance floor of his frat house. I’d had enough nightmares about it for two weeks after we broke up. It’s just that somewhere along the line of the last couple of months, I didn’t see boys as something to be nauseous over anymore. In fact, I missed having my hand held and the presence of Austin’s arm around me.

Not that I’m pining away over him or anything. He was a player, maybe not as bad as some guys out there, but he used me as cover so he could have sex with other guys without any undue attention. I just hoped he was being truthful when he said he hadn’t done anything on that particular night. Being cheated on was bad enough as a guy, being a girl seemed to increase the deception and betrayal that much more.

When I looked up from my books, Kelsey was still standing there at the doorway with that look on her face. The look that said I know you’re a liar. Then I thought of a way to kill two birds with one phone call.

“How about if I call him now and refuse. Will that prove to you that we haven’t done anything?”

She seemed to consider that for a moment. “Put it on speaker. This could be totally planned.”

I sighed. “Alright, but you can’t say anything while I’m on the phone with him.”

Kelsey pursed her lips, but grudgingly nodded.

After hitting the speaker button, I dialed Austin’s number.

“Kayla, hey,” Austin said as he answered the phone. “Did you get my message?”

“Yeah, I’ve got the notes. I’ll email them to you in a minute.”

“Cool, thanks.”

“No problem. Is Brandon around?”

There was a pause. “Uh, yeah… hold on.”

The sound of a door opening and footsteps sounded before I heard a muffled voice. It was like Austin had his hand over the phone so I couldn’t hear.

“Hello?” Another sound of a door closing let me know we’d gone private. I looked over at Kelsey and I saw she was already tearing up.

“Hey, Brandon, I got your message. I won’t be able to go with you to the Ke$ha concert. I don’t think it would be a good idea.”

“What?” He sounded genuinely confused. “May I ask why?”

I shook my head at his denseness. “Um, maybe because you dated my sister and us going out would be totally weird after I know what the two of you sound like in bed all the time?”

He half chuckled and half sighed. “Kelsey broke up with me, Kayla. I made a stupid mistake and I paid for it.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “That stupid mistake involved me in a way. So us going out would be an extraordinarily bad idea. Kelsey was seriously upset after that and I’d rather not wake up one morning and find an icepick in my head.”

Silence settled on the phone for a few moments then he came back.

“This doesn’t have anything to do with your situation, does it?”

“No, I appreciate how you’ve acted regarding me and my situation. I just couldn’t hurt Kelsey like that. Seeing the two of us together would just hurt her even more.”

He hmm’d. “I understand. Just pretend that I didn’t ask you then, okay?”

“No problem, Brandon. Thanks for your candor.”

“Bye, Kayla.”

“Bye.”

When I punched the speaker button to cut the call off, Kelsey looked crestfallen, but apologetic at the same time.

“I’m sorry I blamed you,” she said, and with that done she turned and went to her room.

How many times did I say at the beginning of this tale that I’d come to school for a specific purpose, to study. It was only December; what was my life going to be like in another year. I’d probably be pregnant, with Hannah’s child via some new surgical procedure only performed by Buddhist monks on the blue moon in Australia.

What I didn’t get, right away, was that not only did Brandon yell out my name during some freaked out fantasy in his head, he just asked me out on a date. It was all so very matter of fact that I didn’t consider the broader ramifications of the act.

At first I thought maybe he was just thinking about me as a girl and tried to integrate that into his fantasy of Kelsey being more girlish, but that wasn’t it at all. He was attracted to me, knowing exactly who and what I was.

Then a thought came into my head that was much much worse. That ideal guy I’d formulated for my feminine persona? I popped Brandon’s head on the body and it was a seamless fit.

“Oh God…”

Had I subconsciously pulled his body, which I had seen in various types of undress over the first couple of months, into my vision of a really cute guy? That would just make my life perfect. Note the sarcasm.

“School work; I must do my school work and concentrate on nothing else.”

When I finished my Western Literature reading I had to find something else to keep my mind off of thinking about tall, dark, and well fit ex-boyfriends of my sister. Luckily, there were five girls that wanted to know more about the Society. I gave Jenna a call back. She was a friend of Avery’s so I trusted her judgment. The girls were back from class and were available so I grabbed my purse and my heavy coat just in case I was still out at dark.

About five minutes into my walk, I toyed with the idea of stopping by the convenience store and purchasing a few men’s magazines, not the pervy kind, stuff like Maxim, Road & Track and the like. Magazines with pretty women in them might reverse whatever damage I’d done with all my stupid self-conditioning.

When I entered the store I made my way to the proper aisle and starting perusing the titles. It being a store very close to the college, of course they’d be out of anything halfway interesting, though they did have the latest issue of Cosmo. My hand hovered over it for a few moments like I was a crack addict trying to quit.

The cashier was eyeing me suspiciously. It was my fault. I probably looked like I was going to shoplift something.

“Screw it, I’ll quit tomorrow.”

Grabbing the magazine, I headed to check out. That’s when Brandon came into the store. I jolted to a stop and watched him as he scanned the aisles and then smiled when his eyes stopped on me. Taking a quick breath to steel my nerves, I nodded a greeting at him and then promptly tried to forget he existed. That didn’t work for long. When I reached for my purse, he produced a five and set it on the counter.

The cashier gave me a quick glance and took the money while I glanced disapprovingly at Brandon.

“I have the money,” I said.

He ignored my protest. “Where are you headed?”

“Uh… Beta Sigma somthingorother. There’s some girls interested in the Society.”

He seemed mildly interested. “Oh, that’s a long walk in those heels. I’ll drive you.”

It wasn’t a suggestion or even an offer, it was just a fact, or at least that’s what it sounded like anyway. The heels on my boots were chunky and about two inches. They weren’t uncomfortable in the least, but I’d definitely look fresher if I didn’t have to trek halfway across campus. That’s the only reason I didn’t argue.

“Okay, thanks.”

When we got out to his truck — he sold the SUV and bought new truck, even though the SUV still had new car smell. Apparently he was well off. — he was at the passenger side door, opening it for me.

I gave the gesture a cautious look, but accepted that he was simply being a gentleman. That was odd in itself, because I knew how he really acted around Kelsey. It wasn’t that he was rude or anything, but he wasn’t overly respectful around her either.

When he hopped in the driver’s side I was given a charming smile and we left the parking lot.

“Sorry about the… sister thing earlier,” he said.

“Kelsey heard the message. She about blew through the roof.”

I watched as he winced. “Yeah. I didn’t think. I’ll call your cell next time.”

“What?” There was going to be a next time?

“I knew I was on speaker, Kayla. It makes a distinctive sound. Did Kelsey buy it?”

I opened my mouth and just made inarticulate sounds.

“I was truthful when I said I’d made a mistake,” he said. “I shouldn’t have been thinking about you while Kelsey and I were having sex.”

My face heated up and I wanted desperately to escape, but jumping from a vehicle, in those boots, at thirty miles an hour, would probably hurt.

“The thing is, I’ve done some soul searching since I met you and realized that I needed to grow up and look toward the future.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said.

It looked like he was trying to find the right words, but not succeeding. “This is going to sound bad, but I can’t think of the right way to skirt the issue. There are different types of girls…”

One of my eyebrows started lifting as I waited for this obviously scientifically proven fact to emerge.

“Girls you have fun with and girls you’re serious about. There’s a lot of overlap involved… I mean you can have fun with the serious girls and be somewhat serious with the fun girls…”

I couldn’t take it anymore. “Brandon, I know what you mean, move on.”

“Right. Anyway, Kelsey is fun, but I’m glad she broke up with me, because there’s this serious girl I’ve wanted to date for the last three months.”

It was easy to read the way this conversation was headed. That’s what allowed me to process the thought with any form of coherency.

“You do realize that Kelsey would kill me in my sleep and then hunt you down and kill you as well, right?”

“I’ll talk to her.”

After scoffing… loudly. “You know my situation, Brandon. I’m not exactly…”

“I know. Does that mean we can’t date?”

Turning to stare out the front windshield, I’d already made my decision. “My life is already complicated enough. Adding sexual confusion to the mix will only make it worse.”

His face lit up. “So you’re already thinking about me in that way?”

Me and my big mouth. “I didn’t say that.”

“You said you were sexually confused. That means you’ve considered the idea and weren’t turned off at the thought.”

By that time I was getting frustrated. “You’re twisting my words. Besides, dating me pretty much means the end of your midafternoon sexual romps. I have to stay a virgin until I’m married, or until I graduate.”

That made his face pink up a little, which I was happy for. Hopefully, word hadn’t gotten around to him about what the other girls were doing to make up for the lack of straight sex with their boyfriends. I was doubtful I’d be spared, but still hopeful.

“I thought you weren’t gay anyway,” I said to reinforce my thought.

I received a quick glance for that. “My brother is gay and my best friend is gay. The girl I want to be with is genetically a guy. My views have… altered.”

He was bi-curious, just as I was.

Sitting there contemplating that revelation, I didn’t notice when we pulled into the Beta Sigma whatitsthing parking lot.

“How long are you going to be? I can come back for you.”

“Brandon…”

“Cold front is supposed to be here sometime within the next hour. They’re talking snow on the radio.”

My eyes ticked to the dash for a second before I sighed. “I’ll call you. It shouldn’t be more than that.”

“Excellent. I’m going over to the student union so I’ll be close.”

Giving him a reluctant smile, I got out of the truck and entered the house before he drove off.

“Brandon Myers,” a voice said from behind me as I looked out the side window. “Moving up in the world I see.”

It was Jenny. I spun around. “He was just giving me a ride. There’s no moving up anywhere.”

She smiled knowingly. “No problem, honey. I won’t tell Kelsey.”

I went immediately on the defensive. “Seriously, nothing’s going on. You can tell her if you want.” Though I desperately hoped that she wouldn’t.

~O~

By the time I was finished, the Society had four more recruits and one that would think about it, but I wasn’t putting any bets on her acceptance. It was really amazing how may girls missed or never experienced being girly when they were growing up. Most of the caution seemed to surround grooming and makeup. They were afraid of looking like a preteen and it was much easier to slap on some lipstick and eye liner than it was to use all the rest.

Maybe it would just be a quick phase in their life, an experiment to try. I’d also be willing to bet more than a few would like the way they looked and the way they’re treated enough to go through a few extra minutes in the morning to do it right.

It was the same with me. For the first month of being a girl full time, I dreaded getting up an hour early just to make sure I looked perfect, but after a while, it became part of my routine.

Brandon picked me up, to the delight of Jenny. There was only so much denial I could show before it seemed desperate and fake, so I just rolled my eyes at her playfully as I said goodbye.

It was nice and quiet for about half the ride to the apartment then Brandon dropped the bomb.

“We’ll have to leave no later than three to make the concert on Friday.”

I felt like texting WTF to myself. “Uh…”

“Is there anything you need to do in the city, maybe visit that Society organization for a meeting with the higher-ups or something? Then maybe you can conveniently…”

“Brandon, I don’t like lying to my sister. If you want to ask me out then it needs to be with her blessing.”

I figured this way I could sound like I was laying it all on her shoulders. There was no way she’d agree, so I’d be off the hook and I’d stay the good guy… uh, girl. It was a brilliant plan, wasn’t it? There was no way he would have the nerve to approach her so soon after their breakup to ask such a question and have the reaction be positive. I won, for once!

A glance out of the corner of my eye doubly convinced me, because he looked pensive.

“You’re right. We shouldn’t have to hide this and I should have known that you’d be of higher moral character.”

“W-what?”

“I’ll talk to her tomorrow morning. We usually see each other in front of the psychology building. I’ll approach her then. That way it won’t look like you’re part of the decision making. She’ll be in public and less likely to make a scene, and…”

“And what?”

He just smiled knowingly, which was a facial gesture I was really beginning to hate.

“Oh, nothing. I’ll let you out here,” he said as we neared the building. “No need in setting her off and seeing us together even though it’s a purely innocent ride home to avoid bad weather.”

I narrowed my eyes at him because he was a little plotter, plotting things in a plotty way.

He was right though. The wind was already biting and frost was in the air. I hurried to the front door and opened it to the musky smell of sex in the air. I could swear my sister was totally incapable of closing a door. I hung my jacket up in the closet and went to my room amidst the cadence of, “Unh, unh, unh, unh, oh God!”

With my door closed, I set my head against it. “Please don’t let this be a set up.”

Much later, probably three hours, the sounds finally stopped and eventually I heard the front door close. I grabbed a bottle of Febreze and exited my room to saturate the apartment. There’s nothing worse than waking up the next morning and walking out into that stale smell.

Kelsey was standing there, in her robe, bent over, in front of the refrigerator, scooping out makings for a large sandwich. She probably had low blood sugar from the massive workout. However the good thing was she was all smiles.

“Hi, Kayla! Did you know it was snowing?”

I just raised an eyebrow at her. “New boyfriend?”

“Mmmm,” she almost crooned. “Brad Stemson: six-five, blond hair, wide receiver, stamina-of-a-god.”

I would have snorted, but propriety held me back. Just a few hours earlier she was pining away for her old boyfriend and… mother-fudger. He set it up! He knew I was out of the apartment and he called some guy to come over and light her fire just to take her mind off of him.

“So, I’m guessing Brandon’s totally out of the picture now?” I said with a touch of nervousness.

Kelsey flipped her hand at me with a throwaway gesture. “Brandon shmandon. You can have him if you want. I’ll call him…”

“No!”

She twitched. “I thought you and him…?”

“No. We really haven’t been going around behind your back, Kelsey. I have no interest in him whatsoever.”

Liar!

“Aww, you’re so sweet. You really were telling me the truth.”

Oh brother.

“Seriously, sis, go out with him. He’d be good for you. God knows you need to get laid.”

“No.” I couldn’t take anymore. “I’m going to bed.”

“Sweet dreams!” she yelled after me.

I really do think she’s bipolar.

Just to help me sleep better, I called his apartment and Austin answered the phone.

“Kayla, hey, thanks for the email, I got it.”

“No problem, Austin. Can I talk to Brandon?”

There was a slight pause. “Are you and he dating?”

“No!” Perhaps I said that a tad too defensively.

“Oookay. Just a sec.”

When I heard the other line pick up and Austin’s line close, Brandon came on. “Couldn’t wait to talk to me could you.”

“I hate you.”

He snorted. “I take it Brad just left?”

“You set this whole thing up.”

“Of course I did. I knew Kelsey hangs on and on unless she gets distracted by something new. I was just helping fate along. He really does like her so I didn’t see this as a bad thing.”

I was so frustrated I couldn’t think of anything to say.

“So, we’re on for Friday, three-o’clock?”

“Oh no, I’m not making this easy for you. You still have to get through my sister and then you have to ask me, and I’ll still turn you down. Ha!”

I could almost see the smile he had on his face through the phone. Thank god I wasn’t on Skype. “Mmm, I do like a challenge, Kayla.”

After mumbling something unintelligible I hung up the phone.

~O~

All day Wednesday, I was a nervous wreck and somewhat snippy. Avery called me out on it at lunch, in front of everyone.

“Sweetie, is it your time of the month?”

“Huh?”

Samantha leaned in. “Aunt Flo, is she visiting?”

“Oh…” Think fast. “Yeah. Bad cramps.”

Now I had to keep up with my non-existent menstrual flow. I couldn’t use the same excuse two or three times in the same month; that would look odd.

Hannah popped out a bottle of Midol, but I waved it off. “I took some before lunch, thanks.”

“You poor thing,” said Avery. “I know you’re not having sex, honey, but you should really think about the Pill anyway. They make it where your periods aren’t as bad.”

That would be brilliant. I could just picture that scene with some faceless gynecologist. “Excuse me doctor, I’d like to get put on the Pill for my fake cramps please.”

“I’ll think about it. Thanks for understanding.”

She gave me a caring hand squeeze and I felt guilty for lying about my lack of a period.

“So I hear you’re going to the Ke$ha concert with Brandon Myers,” she said.

I nearly choked on my Diet Coke. “What? No! Who told you that?”

The other girls gaped, openmouthed. It was Samantha who took the lead. “Hold it. Are we talking about the same Brandon Myers who was dating your sister?”

“He asked me. I said no.” You’d think that would be the end of the subject.

“Are you nuts?” Hannah nearly came unglued. “He’s sooooo cute.”

Emma leaned in. “Aaaannd his dad owns like a hundred Burger King franchises.”

“I think it’s more like ten,” countered Hannah.

“Whatever,” said Emma. Instead of arguing the point she raised up her hand ticking fingers off. “Rich, upperclassman, utterly yummy, and he’s a Phi Kap, which means he’s smart.”

Samantha took over. “So, what we’re saying is… Kayla, are you a closet lesbian?”

I facepalmed. “He just got through dating my sister. I’ve heard them have sex for hours on end… daily.”

“Hours?” Avery acquired a naughty look on her face.

“Down girl,” Emma said as she tossed a fry at her. “That’s Kayla’s guy.”

“He’s not my guy. You’re welcome to him, Avery.”

She smiled very brightly. “Good, ‘cause he’s here.”

This time I did choke and nearly spilled my soda before recovering and spinning around to see Brandon approaching with a confidant smile on his face.

Darn it, Kelsey! Freakity freak freak… poop!

“Ladies,” he said. “How are you all doing this fine blustery morning?”

“It’s twelve-thirty,” I muttered.

He looked at his watch. “Ah, so it is. Kayla, may I speak to you in private?”

I cleared my throat and looked to my friends for support. “Um, no. Anything you can say to me, you can say in front of them.”

His smile twisted somewhat evilly. I may have just made a tactical dating-avoidance error.

“Okay, I spoke with Kelsey and funny enough she told me that she gave her blessing to you last night for us to date. So everything is all smoothed over. Would you like to accompany me to the concert on Friday? I was thinking we could have dinner at Pico’s and I could take you to the waterfall at Kensington Place afterward.”

One of my former best friends sweetly aww’ed behind me.

“What do you say?” he said.

Avery slammed the toe of her boot onto my shin.

I ground my lips together before answering. “Fine.”

“Excellent. I’ll pick you up at your place at three. See you then.”

With that he leaned down and gave me a very brief kiss, which I only half returned, seeing as we were being watched by half the cafeteria.

Turning on a slow boil I spun back around after he left and glared at Avery. “If I have a bruise…”

She waved me away. “Shush, ya big baby. Just make sure to make me the maid of honor at your wedding.”

I shuddered at the thought. Guh!

~O~

It took me all of my free time and the assistance of Hannah and Avery to find a decent outfit that I wouldn’t freeze to death in, was nice enough for a semi-upscale restaurant, and slutty enough for a Ke$ha concert. Try figuring that one out in only one day. Obviously, I couldn’t be too slutty, so I settled for sexy.

A relaxed knit top with a scoop neck, with three-quarter dolman sleeves, a black suede skirt that almost made it to mid-thigh and sat high enough on my waist that I had to wear a cincher to make it look right, a pair of black over the knee socks with silver pinstripes, and a set of super cute ankle boots made up my outfit. Once I had an excess of dangly necklaces and bangles I’d be set.

Over it all I’d have a long thick wool coat that should keep me warm enough.

This is what I would have worn to a concert of this type anyway, so don’t think that I was getting all sexed up for Brandon. While there might be a minor — I’m talking miniscule here — attraction, I just couldn’t deal with anymore drama in my life. I knew exactly what kind of girl he likes and this girl does not put out… at all. I am not my sister.

Friday classes were cancelled for finals the following week. Normally, I’d lock my bedroom door and have my nose in a textbook, but my finals weren’t until Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I had plenty of time once I got back. Plus, I already knew the material backward and forward.

So I got to sulk all day, that and take a really long time getting ready for my date.

“Kayla,” said my sister as I was just getting back from the salon where I got the whole body works which pretty much meant I was broke for the remainder of the semester. “Brandon doesn’t care about all that froufrou girly stuff. Just give him some special attention and he’s good.”

A chill ran down my spine at the visual Kelsey gave me.

“I’m doing this for myself, not him.” I really didn’t want to tell her that was one of the reasons he wasn’t heartbroken over their breakup. That would be too cold.

“Uh-huh. You know, you can just admit that you like guys. It would explain why you started this girly thing and make this whole semester make a lot more sense.”

I stopped at my door and looked at the time. I had just under two hours. It was just enough time to get ready.

“I’ll admit I don’t dislike guys, does that make you feel better?”

She smirked and bounced once. “Do you know how to give a good blow job? Because that’s his favorite.”

“Kelsey!”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I. There will be no sex tonight, of any kind.”

She sighed, clearly disappointed on not getting any dirt. “Well, if you need any help…”

Right, like I’d ask my sister to teach me how to orally satisfy a guy. Whatever! On second thought, I realized she was probably experienced enough to give a porn star pointers. I’d still never go to her for something like that, not that I’d need to know or anything. Anyway, isn’t that what the internet is for? I was sure Wikipedia had to have a page on it.

I took a quick shower to make sure any wax remnants made their way down the drain and then began my routine. Over the last couple of months I’ve learned to do my evening makeup quite well and when I was finished I dressed.

The cincher was tight and tough to get just right where it hugging firmly instead of folding skin. My diet had slimmed me down fairly well, but I still didn’t have much of a waist in comparison to my artificially padded hips. With the cincher on, I thought it gave me fairly nice curves, even making my bust seem a little larger than normal.

Once my outer garments were on I sat down to slip on my OTK socks which felt so incredibly warm I almost purred. I definitely knew what to ask for in my Christmas stocking this year.

Kelsey came in when I slipped my second boot on. Her eyes sparkled with mirth.

“If you’re not trying to get him in the sack then you’re doing a very bad job of it.” She walked over and handed me the earrings I’d asked to borrow. “Brandon’s going to have a very hard night in more ways than one.”

I shot her a look, but didn’t say anything. Instead, I stood and twirled. “Do I look okay?”

Her head tilted. “When did you get a waist?”

I grinned. “Cincher. Like?”

She rolled her eyes. “You and all your old lady lingerie; I’m telling you that you don’t need all that and it just takes more time peeling it away to get to the main event.”

“Well since that’s not happening I could wear all the undergarments I want, right?”

Kelsey shook her head in confusion. “I don’t get it. I don’t think I ever will. All of this will come to a halt when you get married, so why put on airs? When a guy looks at me what he sees is what he gets.”

I shrugged. “If I were to stay a girl, and get married, hypothetically, I don’t think I’d change. I’d still dress like this for myself and my spouse. I like doing it, Kelsey. It makes me happy and proud of how I look. What I don’t get is how you can’t want to look your best all the time?”

“It’s too much trouble. I’d rather sleep.”

“Well, I promised not to pester you about being more feminine, but if you change your mind I’d love to show you exactly how beautiful you can be with just a little effort.”

She frowned. “Maybe during break, sis.”

I had an idea. “How about Christmas morning? We could get matching dresses with all the trimmings and surprise Mom and Dad.”

Kelsey looked at me warily. “Maybe. No promises.”

“Fair enough.”

A knock at the door interrupted our bonding moment and Kelsey’s eyes lit up. “Finish up and I’ll keep him waiting. By the way, the trick to deep throating is to make sure you get him nice and wet first.”

I picked up a pillow and threw it at her, but she’d already dodged out of the way with a teasing laugh.

My stomach started knotting up once I wasn’t distracted anymore. Sliding the earrings in, I slipped on my bangles and necklace then triple-checked everything. Tucking my necessities into the smallest purse I owned, I zipped it up and took a deep breath.

“It’s just a date with a guy. You’ve been on a couple of those now and there’s nothing to it. You’re not having sex tonight so you don’t have to worry about that. Though maybe a good night kiss wouldn’t be out of place… for the tickets and all. I mean he’d deserve at least that. So just put that in your head and draw the line there. One kiss, that’s all.”

Once I’d given myself a pep talk, I opened the door and exited the safety of my bedroom. Brandon turned away from Kelsey and took me in with his eyes. I stopped and lifted my left heel a little to let my knee curve in so I was posed for maximum showing off.

“Wow.” It was all he said for at least five to ten seconds. I was starting to feel a little self-conscious, but that punchy look that was on his face turned to delight.

Even Kelsey was confused for a second as she watched his reaction. Once he smiled, she frowned and then rolled her eyes. “It’s just an outfit.”

He shook his head minutely. “It’s the girl in the outfit.”

Okay, I may have felt a little flutter in my chest when he said that. He was smooth, that was always a given, and nobody had ever said anything like that about me before. Maybe it was just the new experience that made me feel a little lighter than normal. That was probably it.

Finally, Kelsey punched him on the arm. “Wake up, Romeo. Your date is waiting for you to unzombiefy.”

He blinked and then his face started to redden. It might have been the cold, flushing his cheeks, but something made me doubt that.

“Your coat. It’s pretty cold out there,” he said, covering himself pretty well.

“In the closet.” I pointed. “The black wool one.”

Kelsey gave me a look and moved over to me when he turned to retrieve it. “Fine, we’ll do your girly routine this weekend. He never looked at me like that.”

I grinned at her and bussed her cheek with my own. “Don’t wait up.”

“Try not to get pregnant.”

~O~

“Keep your eyes on the road, Brandon.”

He jerked the steering wheel just a tad to stay centered. “Sorry, you’re just…”

“Distracting, obviously.”

I checked to see if there was any traffic around us. We were currently in a lull, so I unbuckled my seatbelt and scooted to the center to attach the next belt.

“There, I’m next to you. Is that better?”

Reasoning the further away I was, the more he had to look away from the road, I figured the new position would be less of a problem for him. Instead of looking down, he relaxed and set a hand on my left leg, right where the top of my OTK sock ended and my skirt began. There was about two inches of skin bared. I was about to complain that he needed two hands on the wheel, but he seemed more at ease so I left it alone and concentrated on what his hand was doing instead.

Having just been waxed, my skin was very smooth and ultra-sensitive. Something I’d never noticed about Brandon was how large his hands were, nor how soft. Usually large manly hands equate to rough and callused. It was just the opposite with him and darn it, I liked the way they felt.

Having nothing to do with my left hand, other than to set them in my lap, I returned the favor and slipped it under his arm and on his upper thigh, where it sat quite comfortably. This in turn made me inch closer and lean against him.

“I like your perfume,” he said casually.

I grinned. “I’d tell you what it is, but I don’t want to give you any ideas.”

That only edged him on wanting to know more which increased the amount of thigh he was grasping. “Tell me. I’ll be good.”

“Bombshell Seduction by Victoria’s Secret. Don’t read anything into me choosing that particular scent. I’m not a bombshell and I’m not meaning to seduce you.”

He smirked. “Wrong on both counts.”

“Please,” I said with disbelief. “I’d need about two more cup sizes and about four more inches on my hips to enter bombshell territory.”

A glance out of the corner of my eye saw Brandon smiling at the thought. The thing was that was actually a possibility for me. It wasn’t like I had to stick with the B-cup prosthesis, and I could purchase thicker hip molds. Of course then I’d have to buy a whole new wardrobe, all of which wasn’t possible without large amounts of money.

There was another possibility that had made its way through my head more than a few times, but that was taking things a bit far considering I still wasn’t totally sure about what I was doing.

“If you keep doing that, I’m going to have a wreck,” he said out of the blue.

“What?”

“Your hand.”

I looked down and saw that it had inched up into dangerous territory and I was squeezing him somewhat firmly.

“Whoops, sorry.”

Moving it halfway down his thigh, I squeezed him once and let my hand settle.

“Not that I don’t like it,” he clarified. “I just like it too much and I know that’s not part of what you want to do.”

I licked my lips self-consciously. “So you’re not going to pressure me?”

Brandon shook his head. “I knew what I was getting myself into when I asked you out. You’ve been fairly vocal about the Society’s rules… and the other girls in your club that are dating some of my brothers. They’ve made it pretty clear too.”

That made me feel proud of them, that they were holding to the Society’s values even when I wasn’t there to disapprove. Deep down, they wanted to be good girls, most of them anyway. The world had changed a lot over the last forty years. Sex had become an automatic way to become closer with a boy while everything else, romance included, had been virtually abandoned. It was more acceptable nowadays to just be one of the promiscuous girls bragging to each other about their conquests much like guys did. In effect, they were guys.

They pretty much wore the same clothes, worked the same jobs, and acted the same way. The only thing that differentiated them from guys was they had Slot B for the guys Tab A. It was truly depressing for me. I always thought girls were better than that. Maybe it was my upbringing. Daddy always treated Mom like she was a queen. The house was her kingdom and Kelsey and I were the prince and princess, though at that moment we were both princesses which I really loved.

The scary part was I loved it more and more with each new day. If I had to give up everything that made me a girl, I’d probably have a breakdown. I’d definitely be depressed. I’d lose my friends, all my clothes, and my routine that I grew to love every morning. I’d also lose the Society which gave me the opportunity to be who I truly was.

~O~

When we reached the city a lot earlier than I thought we would, I took Brandon’s suggestion from Tuesday and we stopped by the little headquarters of the SPFV. I’d only been there once to have my picture taken for placement on their scholarship wall next to the other recipients, but I’d corresponded several times with a number of the members.

Brandon was a little uneasy, but once I set my hand in his and tugged him along with a smile, I could see it helped.

“Don’t worry; we won’t turn you into a girl just yet.”

It was a one story house specifically designed to give old ladies a place to gossip, quilt, play gin rummy, and whatever ever else old ladies did to pass the time. A little plaque to the side of the door showed the name of the organization and a welcome to enter, which we did.

An electronic doorbell went off when I opened the main door. A few moments later I heard hard-soled shoes against the equally hard wood floor and the recognized the head of the organization Martha Burke coming around the corner with a pleasant smile on her face.

“Hello, Mrs. Burke,” I said.

She was a widow going on ten years, but she still insisted on being called by her formal name.

“As I live and breathe, little Kayla. We weren’t expecting you.”

She came up and we bussed cheeks. I smelled a scent that always reminded me of my grandmother and brought back happy memories of staying with her when I was younger.

“Sorry for dropping in unannounced, but we were in town and Brandon insisted on coming and seeing where the Society started.”

Mrs. Burke’s eyes drifted to my date and she took him in, seemingly with approval. Brandon was dressed fairly conservatively for a concert and overly conservative for a student which I’m sure Mrs. Burke approved of.

I made introductions and explained that we were in town for our first date, which explained my less than conservative attire. I just received a look that said, kids.

She made us some tea, but we refused the cookies because we were going to dinner.

“I hear tale that you’ve added another four names to the Society’s roster.”

With a proud smile I nodded. “That brings the total to forty-three, Mrs. Burke.”

She beamed at me. “We always thought we were doing well with one girl a year spreading a little of her influence, but you’ve put them all to shame, Kayla.”

“It’s not just me. Hannah and Avery had been doing very well. I couldn’t have done it without their influence and support.”

Brandon leaned in and set his cup and saucer down. “Kayla is being overly modest, Mrs. Burke. She’s single-handedly changed the minds of an entire fraternity as well.”

That perked her interest and I was immediately embarrassed. “Do tell, Brandon. Don’t leave an old lady in suspense.”

I leaned to the side and half covered my face while looking away.

“Kayla’s first week at school she was escorted to small social event and her companion for the evening was less than gentlemanly. Nothing untoward, I assure you, but his actions were noticed by her and promptly disapproved of in front of a number of people.

“The ladies of two sororities noticed and spread the word that such behavior wasn’t going to be tolerated anymore. They were to be treated like the ladies they were. I believe Hannah and Avery were two of them if I’m not mistaken.”

Brandon was stretching things a little, or possibly even a lot, but he told a sincere story.

I nodded. “Samantha, Emma, and Grace as well.”

He nodded like he was recalling them. “That’s right, your inner circle, so to speak.”

“Nothing so melodramatic, Brandon.”

He chuckled. “I disagree, but will defer to you since you’re in a position to know better. Where was I… oh yes. Once word had spread through the ladies to the men of my fraternity, we had a few meetings about how we could make amends. The final decision was simple, but life changing as well, Mrs. Burke. We would be gentlemen.”

She hmm’ed to herself and then looked at me. “You kids should be getting along if you’re to make your reservations. Kayla, would you help me with the dishes?”

“Of course, Mrs. Burke.”

I carried the serving tray to the kitchen while Mrs. Burke filled the sink with soap and water. Somehow I knew she never used a dishwasher, especially with fine china.

“Close the door, dear.”

Trepidation crawled its way up my spine as I felt I was about to get a scolding.

When she turned to me, I was a little shocked to see her step into me with a small hug.

“You’ve got yourself a good beau there, Kayla. It’s obvious he thinks the world of you to make up a tale like that.”

I sighed with amusement. “He stretched the truth a little to make me look better, but for the most part it was all like Brandon said. I was embarrassed, broke it off with my date, and impressed the girls so much that they wanted to be treated the same. I don’t know about any formal meetings, but I bet the boys got together and realized they messed up.”

Mrs. Burke’s smirked and nodded. “That sounds more like the way things work.”

While she washed, I rinsed and dried the dishes. “One really good thing came of it though.”

“What’s that, dear?”

“Brandon and the other guys are being gentlemen.” I stopped for a second and remembered Wednesday at lunch. “Well, for the most part. He’s been very aggressive in pursuing me: asking my sister for permission, arranging for this grand excursion, and asking me out even amongst all my girlfriends when I put him on the spot.”

She lurched a little with mirth. “Sounds like my Herman, God rest his soul. Woe betide anyone that stood between he and I before our courting days.”

Once we were finished I set the china in the proper cabinet and took off my apron to hang.

“We’ll be seeing you when you are finished with your studies next week?” she asked me.

I nodded. “I take my last final on Thursday and pack for home on Friday. So I’ll be here for the meeting on Saturday afternoon.”

It was a meeting to determine if I’d been following the rules properly, for the most part. Formalities had to be followed even though I knew they were pleased with my efforts so far.

“Very good. Now, let’s go find your young beau.”

~O~

Dinner was fun and Brandon even funnier as he tried his best to make me laugh out loud all through the meal. I refused though, just on principle. Making things too easy on him would only encourage his attentions and I wanted those to relax. I swear, being with him, there were times that I would totally forget I was a boy underneath the feminine mask I was wearing. It was a heady feeling and would only lead to heartache if I let it.

I believed him when he told me that his views about his sexuality had altered. The thing that was weighing so hard on my mind, when I snapped back to reality, was what would happen if I let things go to that place. Once I was out of my clothes, it would be apparent to a blind man that I wasn’t a real girl and my mystique would disappear. I would be just another boy and so would he. So carrying this farce any further was just that.

“You look like you’re thinking too hard,” Brandon said as he squeezed my leg on the way to the arena were Ke$ha was playing.

I painted on a fake smile and shook my head. “I’m fine.”

“You really should never ever play poker. You’re an awful liar.”

When we stopped at a red light, I looked up at him and then back down. “Brandon, would you promise me something?”

It was easy to see he was about to just say yes without any thought, but he stopped and looked at me. “Okay.”

I licked my lips, stalling for courage. “I’m not saying it’s going to happen tonight — definitely not tonight — but sometime in the future, if we…”

The words wouldn’t even leave my mouth.

“Yes?” he said, prompting me.

“Sex.”

“Oh. Um, okay. What is it you need me to promise about if or when that ever becomes an issue?”

My face was near glowing with heat by the time I’d forced the words up and out. “If it ever happens, promise me you won’t make me totally undress, or better yet make sure it’s dark too.”

He immediately became confused. “Is this a kinky thing or something?”

I squeezed his leg fairly hard. “I’m serious.”

“So am I,” he said. “I don’t get it. What difference would it make? You already know I think you’re beautiful.”

My breath hitched and I felt my eyes start to pool. Actually I didn’t know that. Sure I’d seen him speechless a few times when I was looking particularly pretty, but he’d never really said it before.

“Without my clothes and makeup, I’m not.”

“Oh…”

I think he finally got what I was talking about, but we couldn’t continue because the light had changed to green and some impatient jerk behind us was honking his horn.

I felt like a dork bringing up such a subject on a first date. Who does that?

Trying to figure a way out of the situation, I just blurted out, “Forget I said anything. I’m sorry I brought it up. I shouldn’t have…”

“I think I was the one that pried, Kayla. It’s okay. I’m glad we talked about it. It lets me know what’s going on in your head.”

The tension in my chest, that I wasn’t aware of, eased.

“It’s probably not proper first date protocol to mention previous girlfriends,” he said.

I snorted. “I think protocol got thrown out at the last stoplight, run over a few times, rolled by a mugger, and laid out in a dirty ally. Go ahead.”

He smiled for a moment and finished his right turn on a new street.

“My past girlfriends were… let’s say that I really needed to be able to read their minds. I hated it. It’s kind of cliché that the guy is supposed to magically know what’s wrong and automatically know what to say to make everything feel better. I’ll go ahead and let you know right now that I don’t.”

“Girls don’t know either, but I know what you’re saying,” I agreed.

“So, if I’m doing something or not doing something that as a guy, I’m supposed to be doing, let me know. I’m still pretty new to this whole relationship thing.”

Backing away, I turned to get a good look at him. “You dated my sister for almost a year.”

He shook his head. “No, your sister and I had sex for almost a year. We occasionally went out, but it wasn’t anything much beyond that. During summer break, I tried calling and even emailing. She never initiated anything.”

“She’s kind of bipolar.”

He snorted. “That’s saying it mildly.”

“She’s still my sister,” I said rather firmly. Even though she could be incredibly mean sometimes, I still loved her.

“Sorry.”

With an agreeable noise I leaned my head against Brandon’s shoulder.

~O~

“Pick anything you want.”

I looked at all the concert stuff for sale and then back at Brandon. “Anything?”

He shrugged.

It was mostly t-shirts and pins, some CD’s — which I already had — and stupid stuff I’d never buy anyway. Ke$ha, while being one of my favorite singers, wasn’t a very good role model, and her songs were kind of slutty in nature, but they were great to dance to and very addictive when they’re in your iPod shuffle mix. I settled for a pin and token necklace, and Brandon got a shirt for himself. Apparently he had a collection from all the concerts he’s gone to.

He got an impromptu kiss on the cheek for the thought. I don’t know why else I did it.

The seats were good, not great, and definitely not bad. I could actually see her face on stage and not have to squint like I usually do. The music was way loud and by the time the concert was over my ears were ringing, but I was in a really good mood.

I thought we’d be heading home, however I’d forgotten about a portion of the date that Brandon promised on Wednesday. The waterfall at Kensington Place. It was a fifteen story high manmade waterfall in a well-lit park in a good portion of town. I’d been to it before when I was younger, but it was a much more romantic experience on a date.

Brandon held my hand as we walked around and looked at the lights. He led me to the safety wall at the front center. The air was humid and it was very cold, but once his arm went around me I warmed right up.

“How’d you enjoy the night?” he asked.

I grinned and looked up at him. “It was fun. Thanks for being a stalker creep who embarrassed me in front of my friends and asking me out.”

He chuckled. “My pleasure.”

Before I knew it, he had his hands underneath my arms and was lifting me up so I could sit on the wall, which made us exactly the same height, while he snuggled himself between my legs. The position was a little crude, but I enjoyed the intimacy. I hadn’t received a lot over the last year and I was craving it, even if it was being given by a guy.

“Tell me about your plans for the future,” he asked.

I shrugged absentmindedly. “School for the next three years and work for the Society. I really don’t have anything else on the agenda.”

He looked like he was considering my words. “How about after?”

“I try not to think that far ahead. Things change too much. Like this.” I waved down the front of my body. “Last year at this time if you would have said I’d look like this and enjoy being on a date with a boy, I would have said you were crazy.”

He smile and laughed to himself. “Do you think you might want to stay like this?”

It was easy to see where he was going with his line of questioning. “Probably. I won’t say definitely, because who knows what might happen, but if I had my choice right now then I’d be a girl for a long long time.”

Brandon was staring at my lips before his eyes moved up to meet mine. “I’ve been thinking about what you said in the truck, about how you don’t look good without all the… things.”

I pressed my lips together and nodded slightly. “I look like a feminine boy, flat chest, no definition in my hips…”

“You could change that, you know? They… doctors I mean, can change that. They could make the body match the mind.”

With a sour exhale of air, I shook my head. “Tens of thousands of dollars later maybe, but I’m not rich, Brandon. I can’t even join a sorority because of all the dues much less afford hormones and multiple surgeries.”

Feeling myself draw in, I shivered because of the cold. “I’d rather not dream of what could be, just enjoy what little I am while I can.”

“I’m sorry I brought it up,” he almost whispered. “I was just trying to think of a way to make you happy. Don’t worry about whether or not I’ll find you attractive. I think you’re beautiful and if it’ll make you more comfortable with the lights off — if that ever happens, I mean — then the lights will be off.”

Lifting one side of my lips, I gave him a half smile as he pressed himself closer.

My boots found purchase behind his thighs, drawing him in even more for the first of many kisses.

~O~

Despite my words earlier, Kelsey was waiting up for me when I eventually found my way inside. There was a smile on her face, but then it dropped off.

“Your lipstick is perfect. Did you even give him a goodnight kiss?”

I smiled knowingly. “Maybe.”

“Did you go down on him? And if so, did you swallow? He really likes it when you swallow.”

“Ugh. Kelsey, do you have to be so crude?”

That just egged her on. “Come on, spill, little sister. I want the details.”

I breathed in and just sighed with contentment. “It was very romantic and Brandon was a perfect gentleman. Mrs. Burke even likes him.”

She looked confused. “Burke? You mean that old lady at the SPFV? You took him to visit the feminine-nazi?”

“Be nice, Kelsey. She’s the reason I got to go to college in the first place. She’s a very sweet lady.”

“Meh,” she replied, not really caring. “So, you’re dating a guy and you’re not even having any real fun. What’s the point?”

I searched for what I felt at that moment. “Brandon makes me feel feminine. He likes me for me and not necessarily for sex. If he continues to act the same way then he’ll eventually get that, but if that time comes, I want it to be perfect.”

Kelsey snorted and leaned back on the couch. “Sorry to break it to you Kayla, but the first time is never perfect. It hurts, it’s usually rushed because you’re all excited to get to it, and afterward you just want an ice pack and a warm bath. Believe me, I know.”

I frowned at her and she just smirked back.

“Something else to think about,” she said. “Yours is going to be worse, because you’re a virgin back there — unless there’s something you haven’t told me — and Brandon is nicely gifted. Why do you think I stayed with him for so long?”

With a sigh, I hitched my purse higher on my shoulder. Why did she always have to ruin everything?

“Why can’t you just be happy for me for one time in your miserable life?” I snapped. “I didn’t think that I’d like him and he surprised me. He was really nice. Why can’t you just be nice to me instead of this superb bitch all the time! Have I ever said anything bad about any of your boyfriends? No. Why can’t you just support me in something that I do… just once!”

With that I ran to my bedroom and slammed the door.

TBC...