Trick of the Mind - 03 by Maeryn Lamonte Melanie Ezell's big closet ultimate writer's challenge — Written From The Heart Thanks to Wren Erendae Phoenix for editing/proofing. I made my way down to Jen’s hall of residence, resisting the urge to skip but somehow unaware that I was holding an imaginary clutch purse in front of me. Jen must have seen me coming as she was outside waiting as I approached. She had a quietly triumphant grin on her face and as I walk up to her she fell into step beside me. “So Richard,” she began, “what are you wearing today?”

“Wh-what do you mean?” I stammered.

“It’s a simple question. What are you wearing?”

I saw a straw and grasped at it. “Well I thought you’d appreciate it if I came out wearing something a bit more up market than my usual tee-shirt. Is it OK?”

She stopped in her tracks forcing me to stop and turn to face her. The full skirt and lace petticoats swirled around my bare legs.

“Richard, don’t treat me like a fool. I thought I noticed something odd about you when you came back from the stage yesterday, but I wasn’t sure. Today I am.”

I was horrified that it should be so obvious and it must have shown on my face.

“Oh I wouldn’t worry too much, Rich.” She linked with my arm and started us walking towards town again. “If you’re not looking for it, it’s not at all obvious. But I’m right aren’t I? He did manage to hypnotise you yesterday, and what you said on the stage about liking to dress up in girl’s clothes was true? And he’s made you believe that you’re wearing something beautiful and girly?”

I could only nod; all words had been stolen from me as I faced up to this disaster. How could the only girl I cared for know my secret? She was going to dump me before even had a chance with her.

“So what are you wearing?” She asked for the third time, quietly into my ear.

I took a breath, swallowed and managed to speak. I described the outfit.

“I loved that movie,” she said, “I’m trying to imagine you as Sandy. You know I think you might actually be cuter than Olivia?”

“You’re not freaked out by this?” I asked.

“I have to admit that I wasn’t too taken with it when you owned up to it on stage, but having had a few hours to think it through, there could be worse things. Besides this wasn’t your idea was it?”

“No,” I replied, “but I won’t pretend I’m not enjoying it.”

“Good, because I wouldn’t believe you, you look way too happy today.”

“That could be because the most beautiful gil in the world agreed to have lunch with me.” I smiled hopefully.

“And that’s another thing; I doubt you would have had the courage to ask me out if you hadn’t thought you'd been dressed as Alice in Wonderland.”

“How do you know what I was wearing?”

“Last night that hypnotist guy told you imagine the time when your breath had been most taken away by the clothes that a girl was wearing. He got you to describe the clothes then he made you think you were wearing them.”

“You seem remarkably calm. Are you sure you’re alright with this?”

“Well I am studying psychology — you know that don’t you — so I’m more fascinated than anything else, besides to pretty much everyone you look perfectly normal.”

“Apart from the mannerisms,” I said.

“Yes apart from those, but as I said they’re not very noticeable. Tell me, is it always stuff out of movies and stories? ‘Cos that doesn’t seem to fit the suggestion he put to you yesterday.”

“No, the dress yesterday evening was a party dress I remember a neighbour's daughter wearing when I was a lot younger; that was pretty much the first time I found myself wanting to dress up. Then last night I was wearing my sister’s dressing gown and slippers; I’ve always thought she looked cute in them. Underneath I was wearing something out of a lingerie catalogue and this morning was a denim miniskirt and white tee-shirt that I remember seeing on the bus yesterday.”

“So, why the teeny bopper outfit now?”

“They were showing film clips on TV this morning while I was waiting on my washing. Summer Nights was the last song they played before I went to pull my stuff out of the machine.”

“So what you’re wearing seems to be affected partly by the context — yesterday evening kind of party atmosphere; last night, night clothes; this morning more appropriate casual wear and then some suggestion from the TV. It also seems that the clothes only change their appearance when you change your clothes. Is that right?”

“Pretty much. I hope you’re not going to write a paper on this.”

“Why not? I mean I’ll keep your name off it.”

I didn’t have a comeback for that and we walked in silence for a while, each lost in thought. For me, I was dazed by how odd it was to be talking about this of all topics with a girl for whom I was rapidly developing very strong feelings.

As for Jen…

“So does this mean you’re gay?”

The question was so unexpected that I laughed out loud.

“What?” She sounded just a little annoyed.

“I’m sorry,” I replied, “perfectly sensible question from your perspective. To answer it, no I’m not gay, seriously not gay. Very heterosexual, very interested in girls, one girl in particular actually. Name of Jennifer, lives in your hall, perhaps you know her?”

She looked a little confused, “But I’m the only person called Jennifer in...”

“Witness the fact that I usually get all tongue tied whenever you’re around.”

I had drifted to a halt and she had turned to look into my eyes. Another entry for the wall of weird. I mean I had imagined this moment so many times over the last couple of months, but never would I have believed I could feel this calm about it, especially dressed, as I was, in a skirt and blouse.

“You don’t seem to be having much problem right now.” She offered.

“No, but then this is a bit like last night. I have other things happening to take my mind off my fear of girls.”

We stood there awkwardly for a few more seconds. I had never made it this far with a girl before and I was unsure of what came next.

Jen must have sensed something of the sort.

“Erm, I think this is the point where the guy kisses the girl.”

It was all the prompting I needed. I reached out a hand to cup her soft cheek and drew her gently to me. Our first kiss was possibly the most erotic I have ever experienced and rather bizarrely I felt my right foot rising behind me even as I noticed hers doing the same.

After a long moment we drew apart.

“Mmm,” she said.

I added my own sounds of appreciation.

Other pedestrians were walking around us and we both became conscious of how we were obstructing traffic flow.

“Perhaps we should get to the pub.” I muttered.

Jen nodded and we resumed our walk, only this time I held onto Jen’s hand and she didn’t seem to mind.

Jen found a table while I bought us drinks. She was browsing through the menu when I plonked the two glasses down, gathered my rather full skirts under my bottom and sat down.

“You’re going to have to watch where you do that,” Jan said without looking up from the menu, “it’s probably your biggest giveaway.”

“I’m kind of hoping it won’t be a problem for too much longer,” I responded. “I was expecting the trance to have worn off last night. As it is I’m stuck with it for a while longer.”

“You don’t seem too upset by it.”

“What can I say, this is a fantasy come to life for me. It’s always been something of a double edged sword up until now; something that I keep being drawn to which, like you said earlier, seems to have a positive effect on me, yet at the same time it’s a big social taboo and would wreck my reputation for good if anyone found out for real.

“Right now though, I can wander around with the full sensation of being as I want to be and no-body knows except me. And you; being super observant as you are.

“To be honest I’m surprised you’re not more freaked out than you’re showing. The one time when I was caught in flagrante delicto, all hell broke loose and I was accused of the being the worst kind of pervert on God’s Earth. I find it hard to believe that anyone can understand what this is about for me.”

She reached a hand across the table.

“I don’t see a pervert,” she said, “but I am curious. You say you’re not gay, but this is hardly normal male behaviour is it?”

“I would have to say no, and I’m a long way from understanding it myself. I know most people are disgusted by it and I don’t want to cause my friends and family any grief over it, so that should be enough to persuade me that I shouldn’t do it. Somehow though, I keep coming back to it. It’s like when I’m wearing a dress, I’m fulfilling a part of who I am that I can’t manage any other way. So I do it in secret when I’m convinced that no-one else can know.”

We sat in silence for a while staring at the menus.

“It’s actually been pretty tough these past couple of months. Dave has a tendency to kick my door open at random times of the day or night, so I’ve had no opportunity to indulge since I’ve been here. It’s a bit like a drug in that respect; the longer you are without it, the more the desire builds.

“Hey, if this makes you feel uncomfortable kick me or something. I don’t want to jeopardise what we’ve just started.”

“Don’t mind me Rich, I prefer relationships to be honest, and after this it isn’t likely that there are going to be any deeper or darker secrets from your past are there?”

We picked something from the menu and ordered. Conversation drifted from the topic of the moment to more banal matters and we just enjoyed each other’s company. I honestly forgot what I appeared to be wearing right up until the moment we stood up to leave when the brush of the soft petticoats against my bare legs reminded me.

“You know, I wish I were wearing just my usual jeans and shirt right now,” I said as we headed home hand in hand.

“You know that’s just what you are wearing.”

“You know what I mean,” I said, “from my perspective I’m dressed more girly than you are. Not that I’m complaining, those jeans look fantastic on you, but it seems so odd that I’m the guy here and you’re the only one wearing trousers.”

“Well, try and see it from my perspective,” she said. “As far as I’m concerned you’re neatly dressed as a guy and treating me like a human being instead of grunting mono-syllables and trying to drown yourself in the nearest pint of beer. I know it must seem odd to you, but from where I stand, if it helps you to be this articulate, I’d be quite happy for you to carry on imagining yourself wearing skirts and dresses for the rest of your life.

“Right up until last night I was ready to write you off as a waste of space. I am so glad I had the opportunity to see this side of you, because all of a sudden you’re exactly the kind of guy I want to be with.”

The conversation followed this sort of pattern all the way back to my hall of residence where Jen came up to my room. We spent the afternoon making out and it was heading towards tea time when there was a gentle knock at the door.

We made ourselves presentable and I opened the door.

Dave was standing on the other side of it looking a bit lost.

“I got that stuff you asked for Richard, here’s your change.”

He handed me a fistful of silver and copper coins.

I looked at Jen who took pity on him and invited him in. I offered to make tea and some sandwiches and headed down to the kitchen. It still felt a bit too weird being around Dave whilst wearing a skirt.

I fussed and worried about the kitchen putting together our little repast, and all the time wondering
what Jen might be saying to him. In the end there was no need for concern. As I carried the tray of food and drinks back into the room, Dave was in full flow, reliving what was to him the highlight of the previous evening. His impression of the pompous Mr Mysterio was excellent and Jen was helpless with laughter.

“I’ve been telling everyone, Rich, you know you really were the star of the show and I doubt they’ll be inviting Mr Mysterio back any time soon; not that he would dare to show his head around these parts now.

“You know you were right, he was a nasty piece of work and I’m sorry I sent you up on the stage last night. I’m only glad you managed to show him up the way you did.”

The evening carried on in the same vein. When Dave’s around there is no shortage of conversation, or laughter for that matter.

The big hand made its way round the clock face a couple of times before Jen and I started making progressively less subtle hints that we might want to spend some time alone. Eventually Jen asked me if I thought she should fix Dave up with one of her friends so that we could have some time on our own.

Dave got it and backed out of the room all apologies with Jen and me laughing him out.

“At last,” Jen said, “I thought he’d never go. Still I doubt he’ll be back now.”

“I think you’re right,” I replied reaching for her, but she slid out of my reach.

“You know what I’d like right now?”

There was a twinkle in her eye and I sensed something coming that I wasn’t sure I was going to like.

She looked me directly in the eye and smiled, “I’d like a peek at what you’ve been enjoying all day long.”