KOLCHAK: THE NYLON STALKER.
(Based upon characters created by Jeff Rice. )
By Way Zim.

ADONIS ADRIFT.

Aug 10th, 2005.
Cleveland, Ohio.
Journal of Karen Foster Klein;

I write this entry feeling several ways foolish but somewhat wiser from the experiences of the past 2 weeks. Perhaps it was my own hubris, the way in which a decrepit old man had assumed the role of a young woman; without major crisis.

Karen had been; would be again if the Gods were pleased, a remarkable journalist, attractive and hardnosed, the product of a former lover and her faithful if mundane husband. But back in June, Carl Kolchak had made believe that she was the daughter that should have been, side by side investigating a suspicious holistic style self-help site, Janus ReGen.

What two investigative reporters found in Old Chicago, however, had been a feint. It was a trail of bread crumbs, meant to lure the young lady into service to a band of near forgotten deities, as well as disposing of an old ink stained hack.

Still, through a fatal heroic act, Karen threw herself into the abyss to save this ungrateful old man, her essence sent into oblivion. As for Carl Kolchak …

I wear her body by default, trying to mend this tragic mistake by recreating her heart and soul, held hostage within the cells of this form. I attempt to live the life of this amazing girl as honestly as I can. For the most part, with the love of her parents, and the aid of a rather randy mythologist known simply as The Professor, I thought I’d done so quite easily.

But as old Kolchak had once remarked. “Just when things seemed so right, that was the moment they turned terribly wrong. “

July 4th, 2005
Akron, Ohio.

“My God! Daughter of mine! “ declared Gail Klein, or as I called her these days; Mom. “What is that you’re wearing? “
Having a former girlfriend, albeit from thirty years ago, playing parental games with you had yet to lose its novelty. Though for this girl in training, her sage yet nagging tone did improve my learning curve …

“This? “ My innocent tone didn’t quite wash as I crossed the well manicured back lawn to give Dad a great big hug. “It’s comfortable, and it’s a family get together … “

I suppose the lime green tank and dark brown shorts was hardly haute couture but I’d been hurried that morning. Perhaps it was a lingering rebellion against embracing certain feminine sensibilities. Maybe it was simply for the priceless look on Gail’s face. But whatever the reason, it was clear she wasn’t going to let her only child get away with it.

“You, upstairs. “

Dad was laughing as his wife escorted her thirty two year old daughter inside like some naughty child.

“Something an old lady would wear. “ she scolded. “I thought I raised you with a better fashion sense. “

“Well, I wasn’t raiding your wardrobe, that’s for sure. “ I quipped which earned me a swat on my backside.

“Sass, young lady. “ chuckled Gail, even as we straightened out my wayward fashion choice. But I’d discovered, soon after accepting this persona, she had a far subtler strength than Carl had ever given her credit for.

It was the world I’d been thrust into, as alien as any to a hard bitten old fart. The close family, the apparent legions of good friends, loyal associates, and male admirers. This was perhaps the single most difficult aspect of Karen’s life to get used to, that men wanted to jump me at the drop of a hat …

“And you’re wearing a sports bra underneath. “ murmured Mother, swapping out my misguided selections for a nice dove white pair of shorts, matched with a light sky blue spaghetti strap top, better to show off my modest cleavage. “Give your poor girls some air. “

“My puppies can breath, “ I mocked uneasily. “Thank God. “

“Thank your mother first. “ she scoffed, shooting me a look. “This should improve my chances at becoming a grandma some day.”

That was another troubling item; my fertility, at least by my gynecologist’s estimate of this woman’s state of Health. It had been at The Professor’s insistence, getting some perverse amusement from the suggestion, that this was part of jumping in with both feet.

I’d gotten the male version of a complete workup as my old body began to fall apart, including fingers in uncomfortable places.
It had been, however, only the tip of Medical Humiliation compared to what this girl went through. At least on a date one expected flowers and dinner.

But the up skirt exam had at least confirmed that Karen was in ridiculously excellent shape, inside and out. So it was with no small sense of anticipation, what with my mother’s wishes and many a mans’ expectation, that one day I would be expected to mate; perhaps reproduce …

“Thanks. “

And what a choice of suitors I had, any bar hopping one-night stands aside. One well educated man with a pagan altar in his office, and an over intelligent man-boy with a penchant for computer hacking and Star Trek. What girl wouldn’t drop her panties for either?

But for the present, I’d contented myself with driving my mother crazy, and hopefully getting fried chicken and real fireworks in the bargain. By days end, I got so much more.

“That’s the daughter I know and love. “ murmured Gail, ruffling my strawberry blond locks absently, smiling softly at some private memory.

“What? “ I asked, feeling this was something I should know, if ever Karen was to awaken from her mystical slumber.

“It’s just that you never really played Dress Up as a little girl. “ she remarked with some incredulity. “I mean, you weren’t the tom boy per say. But like other things as you were growing up, it was learned through some half assed osmosis. One day you were content to go bare faced, the next … “

“Well, I’m all girl now. “ I ventured irreverently, earning another strange look before the moment was broken by Dad’s voice from downstairs.
“Princess? Your purse is vibrating! “

“I thought you had the day off. “ Gail chided me, prompting a spontaneous giggle.

“I’m a freelancer, mom, I’m not exactly on a schedule. Well, I should see who it is, in any case. “

In continuing to reassemble a life not mine, I was thankful that Karen had been meticulous in her musings, both work and personal. While not exactly the gossip girl, I was able to glean enough to pretend intimate relations with all but the closest friends.

“Karen? “ it was the latter, an old acquaintance from my school days at Columbia. Tanya Landers did PR work for some large Cruise Line based out of New York. “What are you doing right now? “

“Tanya? It’s the 4th of July? I’m doing the family picnic … where are you at? You sound close. “

“I’m actually in town, your town. Do you think we can talk? It’s really important. “

“I’ll give you directions to my folks place. “

“Fine … “

“But unless it’s life threatening, you have to promise me something. “

“Sure, of course. “

“Have some food, see some fireworks, drink some wine, then we’ll talk. “

I could almost see Tanya grinning at the other end of the line, scrabbling to find the nub of a pencil she always kept in her purse. “It’s a deal. Now about those directions? “

Over my shoulder I caught Gail rolling her beautiful eyes while Dad grinned even wider, as if to say “Guess who’s coming to Dinner? “

Amore del Mare Cruises was a relatively new venture which had inherited three ships from a now defunct company. They took a risk by gearing all it’s business toward mostly adult oriented packages.
It had little trouble beyond the usual tainted Food or petty theft from the largely Mediterranean crew. But there was nothing that a legion of lawyers couldn’t settle.

Still, Amore never featured prominently in any of Karen Foster Klein’s consumer alerts.

Tanya was a few years younger than Karen, I mean, than I was, but no less dedicated in her work, She expertly soothed ruffled feathers, while spinning Amore del Mare as the real life Love Boat. But clearly, from the way this usually confident young black woman drained her wine, something beyond the anticipated had occurred.

“Like any entertainment concern, we’ve had our share of would-be escorts or gigolos, trying to run games through the cruise line. To my knowledge, however, no hustle was ever sanctioned by management. Nothing that wasn’t shut down hard once we got wind of it. “

“But this is different. “ I coaxed, recalling Karl’s last trip aboard an ocean liner. It had been a swinging singles cruise, turned quickly into a two legged buffet at the rising of the Full Moon …

“ I mean, if any of the male crew got a little anxious around the women passengers, they were either shipped off immediately or transferred to duties which minimized contact. “ Tanya explained carefully, her oddly sheepish tone offset by the crackle of the hanging bug zapper.
“But we don’t think that’s it. And the complaints weren’t from the women involved, but from parents, boyfriends and husbands.
"The man who perpetrated these; and I’m reluctant to call them ‘Attacks. ‘ , defies description. “

“So let me see if I got this. “ I responded somewhat sarcastically. “ A good looking guy, of indeterminate age or race, save that he’s really good looking and charming, seduces girls of all ages and income. While some articles were taken, jewelry mostly, but some antiques, in more than a few cases nothing beyond their virtue was lifted. “

“It’s not funny, Kay-Kay. “ chided my friend mildly before she loosened up slightly. “ Okay, maybe just a little. But regardless, it still violates their rights as clients of Amore del Mare. I’m asking for your help in finding out just who’s doing this. “

“Tanya, this sounds like a matter for your security staff, or even the Feds. How does this fit into my job description? “ I protested mildly, already knowing what her answer would be.

“Because it is a business concern, and a threat to consumers. As a fellow sista I’d think you’d be pretty hot to investigate, and … “

“Okay, you’re right, I’m sorry. “ I didn’t quite feel like a sister, rather a charlatan. Still, thinking on what I knew of Karen from our brief time together … “What would you like me to do? “

July 20th. 2005
Oberlin State College, Ohio.

It was a couple days before I was expected in New York to board the ship, a rudely titled Adonis II. How they thought any self respecting female would want to join any cruise aboard such a vessel, but I suppose Lust supplanted Sensibility.

Speaking of which, Gail had taken it upon herself to make sure I was properly outfitted for the voyage. This included some surprises which she insisted I wait until I was at sea to open.

In The Meanwhile, I had decided to consult with The Professor on a personal matter. I got something I wasn’t expecting.

“You on a cruise, the mind boggles. “ the pepper haired but still fit male chuckled gently, his direct gaze ever appreciative of my figure and sympathetic toward my circumstance. “You all for it? Going to shake that booty on the dance floor? Perhaps give the guys a poolside show? Share some rather playful pics? “

“It’s only a favor for an old friend of Karen’s … mine. “ I answered slowly. “But with Mom and Tanya treating it like some sorority summer vacation, I’m not sure I’m ready for it! If the Fates, or Gods, or whatever, are conspiring … look at the name of the ship! Adonis II ? “

For all his presumed insight, it was nice to find that even this worldly scholar could be caught off guard. “Adonis was Lover to Venus. He was killed by wild boars while doing a little role play in the woods with his girlfriend. In her grief, she turned him into a flower. “

I handed him the itinerary and he chuckled at something which I couldn’t quite see as funny. “That’s not what it says here. For all the lack of imagination, the ship is simply called Amore del Mare II. “

I leaned across the broad oak desk, mindful of the show I gave him with my half open satin blouse. Still, I didn’t care about that as much as being played this way.
“I swear that wasn’t what I saw before. What the Hell is going on here? “

“I think you’re right, my dear. “ he ventured, lightly covering my slender hands with his. “You’re being played, but damned if I can decide by who … or what. As much as Adonis was one of the lesser symbols for Rebirth, it could pertain directly to your situation, or not. “

“So, I guess I’m going on a cruise. “ I sighed with ill humor. ‘To find out why some super stud, mystical or not, is targeting women; apart from the obvious. At least I have the advantage, I think. “

“Because of Carl? “ queried my partner, even as I was aware his hands still held mine firmly. “Because Kolchak was such a lady killer ? As a woman, quite a Hottie I might add, you don’t think you might be even a little tempted, Karen? “

“What?! Don’t be ridiculous! “ I sputtered indignantly, ever aware he was teasing. “It’s all biology, I’m smarter than that! “

“And you blush very prettily when you say that. “ The Professor shot back, giving my palms a quick kiss before returning them to me. “It almost makes me wish I had the time to go with … “

“Not even on a bet. “ I scolded him and he laughed, undermining my self assurance even further. “Then why don’t we? Make it a bet, I mean. “

“A bet about what? “ I asked, the glint in his grey eyes slightly evil.

“About temptation and your learning curve. “ He joked. “I dost think the lady protest too much. How about you give me a real date if you slip, say second base, just to make it fair. If it’s farther … “

“And what if I don’t? Slip, that is. “ I countered, my back up and ready to rumble now. “What could you possibly have that I’d want … “

“We’re talking about if you win. “ he smiled back. “But I think there might be something. “

He told me, and I admitted it was a good wager as he solemnly shook my hand.

July 22nd, 2005
New York City Harbor.

New York Harbor was a legendary hub of International Travel since it was firmly established as same near about 1870.
It was the port where survivors from the Titanic disaster in 1912 arrived aboard the Carpathia, a major embarkation point for troops and materials during World War II. To this day the docks along both the New Jersey and New York sides still serviced an impressive number of vessels.

“Kay-Kay. “ Tanya greeted me curbside as I paid off the cabbie, feeling somewhat ridiculous arriving at the docks with nothing but a small overnight bag. “It’s all arranged with my bosses, especially since I assured them you weren’t here to do a hatch job, just help me find this joker. “

She smiled approvingly at my undercover outfit, a breezy floral sundress, matching scarf to tie back my shoulder length hair, good enough to start blending in.

“While I’m still not convinced there’s anything to your mystery man, “ I responded, also admiring; though perhaps tainted by Carl’s perspective, the slighter girl’s tasteful beige slacks and pearl white sleeveless blouse.
“ K would … I’ll do my best. So, where do I board with the rest of the rowers? “

“You’re funny. “ she teased, steering me away from the ant farm maze of tourists. “You think I wouldn’t take my best girl to sea in style? Your mom forwarded the rest of your stuff ahead of you. I made sure they got sent to our stateroom … “

“Our stateroom? “

“Well, in a way. “ Tanya amended with a tone too cheerful for my like. “It’s partitioned so you’ll have half a room. For those personal interviews, ya know? Additionally I’ve comped the entire package, a six day trip steaming south & back.
"While we do list a few small tours, the emphasis is on shipboard activities. We try not to micromanage the guests so they can do as they wish, virtually 24/7. “

“Great, so we only have to find one guy among … “

“Um, we didn’t exactly get full booking for this trip. “ my friend interjected, even as she flashed her ID at some security men. Evidently, it was a great gig, Public Relations.
“I figure we’re down maybe an eighth of total capacity, so let’s call it an even Fourteen. “

“Fourteen? One Thousand Four Hundred People? “ I gasped, mindful we were headed toward the lower docks where workers were finishing with supplies for the voyage ahead. “You have a lot of confidence in me, don’t you? “

“Well, I was sort of thinking you’d put yourself out more, make him interested?“ she ventured slowly. “Just like some of your more memorable moments at Columbia? “

“Don’t remind me. “ I temporized, hoping that perhaps Tanya might tell me more. It was yet another lapse in my reeducation of this new body and the life it lead.
We arrived at an intermediate ramp where legions of staff boarded the Amore del Mare II. At my first real glimpse of the ship, my former jaded world view resurfaced, scarcely impressed by this overgrown bath toy.

Carl had been born early enough to have witnessed the end of Elegance. Queens Mary and Elizabeth, the last of the true Ocean liners, finally retired in the late 60’s and early 70’s before a world of mass market prefabrication.

Though not the largest of the post modern cruise ships, Amore del Mare II boasted over 800 cabins, a crew of 700 to maintain all the amenities like it’s big sister ships.
But even with a sleek futuristic shape made to cut through the worst seas at over twenty knots, and the newest in GPS navigation, still I felt there was a lack of natural beauty in the computer created design.

“ … Second Officer Ramon De La Croix. “ Tanya was saying as I shook loose these old Kolchak memories. The even white smile caught me off guard, set as it was in a very handsome Latin face. Those laughing auburn eyes twinkled at my flustered manner. “You still with us, Karen? “

“Uh, I was just admiring … your ship. “ I stumbled. He was a very good looking man, and yet I could only imagine The Professor chuckling over my spontaneous feminine reaction. Second base … right.

“She is a beauty. “ he remarked with casual respect, though not looking at the ship. “Perhaps once we get you settled, you’d care for a proper tour? “

“She’d love to. “ Tanya jumped in as we entered a utility corridor which ran behind the public venues. “Would you like to show us to our room?"

“Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. “ I mused quietly, ignoring my cabin-mate as she chatted brightly with our handsome escort. Much to my disappointment, although Ramon had been on previous cruises where our mystery man had struck, he’d little to contribute to what Tanya had already told me.

“Regretfully, “ he said, placing a firm hand at my back to guide me into a service elevator. “but I’m certain that you and our Ms. Landers will sort it out. I looked up your past columns and they show true dedication. I confess I’ve become a fan.“

“Hmm, “ I responded with a curt nod, sparing a second to shoot an arched brow toward my wicked co-conspirator. “you’re welcome, I’m sure. So where is our cabin? “

As if by coincidence, the mirrored doors opened to a long passageway, gleaming with a subdued blue luminescence, the overhead lighting well hid above the translucent ceiling.
Along the subtly pebbled walls were sea foam colored mosaics of faux Greek wave and shell patterns.

There were, for the length of the corridor, surprisingly few rooms, all with double doors of perhaps cedar or a similar soft wood.

“I think I see a motif here. “ I said cynically as Ramon shrugged his narrow yet still masculine shoulders.

“It does suit the locale though, yes? “ he offered pleasantly. “And here we are, ladies. “

The second officer swung wide the doors onto a lush room which demolished most of my remaining sarcasm, my senses too busy soaking up the excess. While there was a divider, as Tanya had mentioned, easily folded back into three sections if necessary, what was left was still a sizable area to play in.

Done up in the already familiar style, my half boasted a round double bed with sea foam sheets atop what Tanya whispered was a space age contour mattress.
There was a settee, a couple more chairs and a coffee table of smooth faux blue marble. I had a dressing table parallel to the expansive sliding glass door which lead out onto a spacious balcony, and a closet/dresser combination with room to spare.

“Now see what I got. “ laughed Tanya, leading me through a door in the sliding wall. Her was a more modest single bed, but with a large bathroom with standup shower and a whirlpool bathtub. “don’t worry, you can use it. “

“You also have a Wi-Fi connection for Internet and TV, and there are laptops available in the concierge office. “ added Second Officer De La Croix, amused at the ‘Kid In A Candy Store.’ look on my face. “All on the house, ladies. “

“Or the ship. “ I joked, looking around half seriously. “No bar? “

“No need, “ my roomie interjected. “All services 22 hours, remember? Save for a few hours for upkeep. “

“And when does our service to the ship begin? “

“As soon as we stepped aboard. “ she said with a slight smile. “But that simply means enjoying the amenities while keeping our eyes, and other parts open. “

“Fun, fun, fun. “ I quipped, feeling only a little less put off by her humor. Still, it was what I’d contracted for with the higher powers, with all the pitfalls it promised.

As I brooded somewhat over what the women in my life had dragged me into, Tanya caught my eye. Ramon waited patiently near the open door. “Speaking of Fun, you were going to give us a tour? “

“My pleasure. “ our guide gallantly gestured, Tanya already on the move, the flirty tramp. For all her playfulness, I had the hunch she was directing me toward this seaworthy stud.

I wasn’t quite ready to cross that ocean just yet.

Still, he was quite fascinating to listen to, spending time to explain the workings of this space age floating hotel.
It was equipped with a remote navigation which, like many aircraft, could be preset for the ultimate in cruise control. While the bridge crew could, in case of emergencies, transfer helm at the press of a button, most of the time they simply sat back and monitored.

The rest of the technical details and tour of the services took over two hours, and yet, all the while, I kept wondering just what was happening with this body and my mind.
I’d been Karen for a very short time, but somehow this realignment of priorities had snuck up on me. Just what was I suppose to do about it?

“Well, that’s about everything about the Amore del Mare II, ladies. “ Ramon finished as did we in the central promenade, a wide circular lounge surrounding a spiral staircase with a great glass ceiling above.
“I’d be happy to answer any questions, except then we’d have nothing to talk about during dinner. You will come, yes? “

“Then we really need to get spruced up. “ Tanya confirmed as I flubbed my response with a vague acquiescence. “Come on, girl. Let’s go get prettier. “

The Amore del Mare II was well on it’s way, and to it’s credit did so with scarcely a rumble beneath our feet. Of course I was somewhat preoccupied at the time …

It was my first time being a girly-girl, as Gail had joked. I took as much care with it as I did my rifle during Carl’s military stint in Korea. I could only thank the Gods for Gail. We were so similar in type, I could ape her look without falling into parody.

I also cursed Mom for her growing obsession with my sex appeal, or lack there of, several of her gifts making me blush. But the soft green off the shoulder evening dress was form fitting. so I was committed to the matching strapless bra and high cut French panties.

It was additionally a new experience to share space and accessories with another woman, including a small skirmish over the bath vs. the shower, which Tanya won.
While the whirlpool was built for two, that was territory I wasn’t yet ready to cross over into either … if I wanted to preserve our friendship, that is.

At the end, even I was somewhat impressed by the final affect, as The Professor said ‘ A Hottie. ‘ Tanya was equally amazing in her club wear style sheath dress, a combined red top and black skirt, ready to ‘Wow.’

For all our primping we arrived fashionably late to meet our macho escort just outside the main dining room. Ramon, dashing in his dress whites, clearly let us know it was worth the wait.

Two major events aboard ship were first and last nights , where we dressed up in our fines and the champagne flowed.
At our table, the second officer and his ladies were joined by five others. They were, a retired couple from New Hampshire; James and Jenny Weston, the chief purser; Donald P. Hanley, a Detroit doctor; Jeremy Topher, and finally an actor wanna-be from New York, William Zachary.

“So you’re famous, Ms Klein. “ gushed the balding but not unpleasant looking Hanley, his recessed gaze flitting between my cleavage and my eyes. “Helping all those people with your newspaper column. And now you’re aboard our ship. Business or Pleasure? “

“Tanya is an old friend from college. “ I answered softly, hopefully as coy as Karen could muster. “We’re catching up on old times. “

“Not too old, “ remarked James Weston, as ancient as I’d once been, his quiet lustful stare reflecting his tired but still eager libido. “ at least not for two lovely young ladies. “

“Or young men. “ his wife, the very image of a Barbara Stanwyck style maturity teased. Her husband grinned with a crooked dentured smile. “Of course. “ he amended sagely.

“But for the bachelors at this table, “ the good Doctor from Detroit chimed in. “We thank you and Ms. Landers all the same. Am I correct, Mr. Zachary? “

So odd that the one actor among us, with boy next door features, just past average and on their way to exceptional, simply nodded with placid confirmation.

“You know, “ Mrs. Weston was saying. “I have this friend back home who has the tiniest dispute with her Association over an itsy bitsy garden … “

“I see we share something in common. “ chuckled Jeremy, though clearly his direct gaze hoped that I might share more by evenings end.
“ We do, Mr. Topher? “ I asked, Tanya mocking me with a ‘Go for Topher. ‘ thumbs up.

“We both have folks asking for advice in our off hours. “

“Hmm. “ I responded, with little feeling toward diplomacy. “isn’t that interesting? “ and clearly by my tone it wasn’t.
Still, there was something about William Zachary which I couldn’t quite put my finger on. His distance from our banter reawakened the reporter in me.

“And how about you, William? “ I asked with the most demure wheedle I could muster. I lowered my eyes slightly as I’d seen other women do to provoke us … to provoke men. “Do folks on the street ask you to do Shakespeare? Or maybe a Broadway show tune? “

“Uh, no, not really. “ at least I got a touch of interest, even if it was offered with a certain self-deprecation.

“You are an actor, yes? “ I tried again, leaning toward him to let my nicely displayed girls do their job. “or did I miss … ? “

“Off-Off Broadway, a brief understudy gig for Spam a Lot. I did some summer stock in Connecticut, played Bud in my High School’s version of ‘Death of A Salesman. ‘ Waited table at a Village Bistro.“ he explained, his flushed cheeks heightening his cute factor. “It’s the usual ‘Struggling Actor. ‘ riff. “

“I’m surprised you can afford to take a cruise then, William. “ Tanya interjected, using her sexiest smile to offset any implied criticism.

“Actually, “ our now totally embarrassed target chuckled. “I’m not a passenger, I’m part of the entertainment. “

“Song and Dance? “ I pressed, shelving my rather sorry suspicions reluctantly, his attitude understandable now. “Jokes done in Bad Taste? “

“Emcee at the Karaoke Bar. “ he answered with such a right on dead pan, the rest of the table cracked up. “I’m gonna kill my agent when I get back. “

“So when does the show start? “ I blurted out, not quite sure why I was interested. “We definitely have to see this. I mean, show our support. “

“Uh, ten o’clock, “ the young man shot back with a flash of sardonic humor. “but I’ll make sure you have your time at the mike, Ms. Foster. “

“God help us all if she does. “ Tanya added, not helpful at all, though behind her tease there was a question she wanted to ask me. “Do you remember that night at Bailey’s … ? “

“Don’t you start. “ I warned, half serious as she was on a roll.

“Our Ms. Foster had a thing for this fine Celtic boy, just off the boat from Dublin. She drunkenly swore to him that she could sing the entire Irish Anthem without one mistake. Well, she tried and it would be like our Doctor Topher trying to perform like P. Diddy … “

“I like P. Diddy. “ he protested mildly. “Or maybe Tone Loc … “

“Don’t go there. “ Tanya warned him off, though less severe than I would’ve expected. “Let’s just say that Johnny Boy actually liked her mangled version. By the end of the night he was telling Karen he was going to call Home and have them change it.
"You care to sing a few verses, Hon? I bet you still remember … “

“And I’ll bet I don’t “ I countered, adjusting my chair as I fell back on a tried but true feminine cliché. “But I bet I do need to go to the powder room. Tanya? “

“Oh, of course. If you’ll excuse us a moment. “ she hastily confirmed. As we both stood up I was amused by the men rising slightly in respect.

It still struck me as odd, this view of manners from my female perspective. Carl had done it because that was how Dad had explained it to him. It had been a different time, yet some things refused to go away entirely …

Not quite two months to get used to the wonderful and frustrating world of women, yet there were nuances I didn’t quite master. For instance, the ability to say something which, as Lewis Carroll once remarked. “Means what I want it to. “

In this case, as I settled myself in the stall, Tanya’s amused voice drifted over from the long vanity table. “So you really did need to go. What? You wanted a spotter? “

“In a way, “ I shot back. “since you’d been making faces all through dinner. I thought maybe you wanted to compare notes? “

“Or wanted to see which stud you were looking to bone, girl. “ she chided me, toning it down as several other women entered. “Did you think that Mr. Right would actually be sitting at our table? “

“Right or Wrong, you gotta start somewhere. “ I joked. “So any prospects there ? You weren’t that far behind me, tramp! “

Tanya was actually quiet as I exited the stall, touching up her face while two sweet young things next to us nattered about nothing.
One of them, this petite little red-head, took note of me for a brief second before returning back to her conversation.

Finally, as they finished up whatever business they had, I heard my friend sigh. “So what’s up with you, Kay-Kay? “

“What’s what? “

“I know it’s been a few years since we last talked, but I just have to know. Were you doing serious drugs between then and now, or what? “ she blurted out.
“I know people change, but since that night at your folks place, I felt like I was being seriously pumped for information by you. “

“I’m still me. “ I admitted, though whether it was Carl or Karen speaking, I wasn’t quite sure myself. “And in every way, especially now, I’m your friend. Can you trust that, T ? More importantly, can you trust me? “

I put out as earnest an appeal as I could muster, for the sake of two women whom I’d come to respect. And here was one who had such a history with Karen,
I couldn’t fathom it … but I knew that I wanted to desperately.

A gaggle of gals burst in, chatting like magpies while Tanya’s mocha colored cheeks actually darkened. “I think they’re missing us, girlfriend. Must’ve thought you fell in or something. Shall we go back? “

I grinned in response before diving into my clutch purse to quickly fix my face, good to go as we headed back to the dining room. But even as I started down the short broad steps, I felt her hand give me a discreet swat on my behind, before moving to the small of my back.

“I don’t know what’s going on in your life now, and someday I’m gonna make you spill, but I do trust you. So let’s go dazzle, girlfriend. “ Tanya suggested cheerfully.
And for the rest of the evening … we did.

July 23rd.

It was the sun streaming through the half closed curtains which woke me, a vague warmth on my contorted half naked body. I didn’t remember how I got back to our stateroom, or into this dove white sheer camisole, quite exposed as I’d kicked the sheets off.

Thankfully, I was alone. Somewhere between the last toast, followed by a serving of a sickly sweet custard and coffee, I thought that I recalled William saying something …

My musings were interrupted by a quiet tapping on the door, regaining enough modesty to grab a dressing gown before answering. “Just a second. “

Tanya was nowhere in sight as I found a server with Breakfast, smiling brightly even as I pulled my wrap tighter about me. He trundled the cart in, the smell of bacon and eggs disturbing my slightly queasy stomach.
“Compliments of Ms. Landers. You’ll find a note on the tray? “

I nodded absently and he left conspicuously slow, no doubt enjoying the view as much as he dared. But I couldn’t bring myself to call him on it, not after the talk I’d had with Tanya the night before … just what was that all about?

‘Morning, Sleeping Beauty. ‘ read the greeting with her trademark sass. ‘You needed time to work the generous amount of alcohol out of your system. Just like Bailey’s, do you finally remember that? But don’t worry too much if you don’t. Just eat your food and absolutely drink the Hair of The Dog. When you’re done, put on your suit and join me poolside. ‘

I blushed somewhat at the P.S. obviously my forgotten performance up to Karen’s old standards as Tanya amended. … ‘And don’t worry about William. I made your apologies to him since you were definitely Uncommunicative. But he wanted you to know he enjoyed the two sets you did.
'Did you really chose ‘Man, I Feel Like A Woman?’ and ‘You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Women? ‘ or was that coincidence? ‘

I couldn’t imagine how naughty I’d been, or if somewhere a tiny part of Karen’s personality wasn’t influencing this former male’s behavior.
I downed the Bloody Mary, Tanya’s Hair of The Dog, to steady my nerves. It actually made me feel less good about being the bad girl.

It wasn’t the reputation I wanted to cultivate, but somehow I understood that none of our acquaintances last night held it against me. Still, if this was jumping in with both feet, I wished for a Life Jacket when I hit the water …

The water was the last thing on my mind as I arrived at the fair sized pool, mid-ship. It wasn’t meant for much beyond soaking, already choked with bathers even at 11:00 in the morning.
I was wearing another of Mom’s little gifts. It wasn’t that tiny by bikini standards, but the pink coral pattern Bra and Panties still made me feel like I was performing for ’Girls Gone Wild. ‘

Tanya waved to me. I couldn’t very well act like a bashful school girl at my age, so I stuck out my chest and tried to act natural.

“Look whose finally up to greet the day. “ she remarked smartly from her lounge, casual in her own red-brown two piece. “You seem fairly alert. “

“Do I thank you for putting me to bed? “ I queried, plopping my padded ass down beside her. “Or is there something else I’m going to have to live down? “

“You really are something, girl. “ Tanya laughed, playfully rubbing my left arm. “No, despite all your best efforts, you and William never made the hookup last night. But you do have a walk around the ship scheduled. He’s gonna meet you here.
"Did this have anything to do with what you were trying to find out? About the men at our table, I mean. “

“It was just a vibe I was getting. “

“A vibe, huh? “ she teased. “What are you, Disco Girl all at once? Maybe you were just horny? “

“Maybe. “ I confessed. “But you’re the one who told me to put myself out there … “

“And you think that William could be our mystery man? “ Tanya chided me, though obviously I’d gotten her into the game now. “He’s cute but why not Mr. Weston? For an old guy he’s pretty smooth … “

“And we think that our suspect would be a real charmer. “ I rolled my eyes, involuntarily causing a minor traffic jam among the men as I stretched my legs “I need some help with this and you’re cracking jokes. For that matter, why not consider Doctor Detroit? You seemed ready to … “

“On principle, honey. “ she countered with mock innocence. “He is a doctor, after all. But what’s with the urgency? We have some five days to scope out other prospects. Why settle now? “

“I’m not really settling, “ I protested, mindful of something The Professor had said. “but I’ve a hunch he’s closer than we think. Besides, every guy on this ship is on the make … “

“Making what? “ interrupted a voice from behind me, a pair of firm masculine hands lightly massaging my shoulders. I felt a small tingle in a place which would have made The Professor chuckle, my biology betraying me.
While I resisted the temptation to squeeze my thighs together, I covertly readjusted my pose while looking up into William’s hazel eyes.

“Making sure our girl was mobile enough for your date, hon. “ Tanya answered with smug humor, mocking my ill concealed interest.

“A date? “ I blurted out as William affected a quizzical expression.

“It’s not a date? “ he asked, that goofy smile making me blush all the way down to my modest cleavage. “Uh, sure it is. I mean … “ I returned hastily.

“You kids go have fun. “ Tanya encouraged, laying back to better display her wares for more available men. “I’ll just hang here and see what swims by. “

“I hope you make out. “ our Emcee Handsome joked, earning him a hairy eyeball from my room-mate as he helped me to my feet. As laidback as he was at dinner, this emergence of easy charm seemed almost a 180 degree turn for him.
The little upturn to his lips signaled approval of my bikini, and again I wasn’t sure how to deal with it.

“Do you mind if we drop by my cabin to get a wrap? “ I suggested as William feigned a disappointed expression. “If you must. “ he teased.

Again with a hand resting comfortably across my shoulder, yet I accepted this begrudgingly as part of this attractive package I was bound to.

I’d forgotten about his circumstance until William gave a low whistle as we arrived at my room, his eyes off his lady to take in our plush surroundings. “So, this is how the other half lives. “

“Not really, “ I scolded with a playful punch to his ribs. “this is what you get when your best friend works for the cruise line. “

“I should get me some friends like that. “ this wanna-be actor dead-panned, his attentions back where they belonged.

I turned to rummage through my closet for a sarong style wraparound. The way he stared, and the way I felt, I expected his hands on me.

But William only flashed a Cheshire grin as I got myself together, surely knowing damn well what he was doing to me. While Carl might have been happy to postpone the inevitable, still I was slightly miffed as we left to take our stroll.

The weather was perfect with just a touch of wind to play with my skirt. We were outwardly like the other couples, out and about on deck, but honestly quite different inside. If Karen hadn’t braved the wrath of the Gods, would she have been here in the first place?
But I was Karen, or trying to be.

Our conversation was mundane, everyday. His life seemed almost scripted to reflect a thoughtful yet largely uncomplicated twenty something. He’d been raised by a single mother and older sister, another neat explanation for his ease before the fairer sex.
It should have, in retrospect, raised a red flag. But there was my own little problem to conflict with my once effective cynicism.

I’d dealt with the Neanderthal comments from the unwashed males well enough, perhaps a bit too scathing from Karen’s perspective.
My excuse was that I’d not been long behind the wheel of her classy chassis.
With Arthur and his kind, their puppy dog lust awakened an almost gleeful sense of power in me. I was impressed that a promise was enough to inspire the most amazing acts of devotion. The Professor, on the other hand, effectively undermined my developing feminine wiles at every turn.

And now here was William Zachary, and he scared me with his straight forward sincerity.

My date evidently sensed my confusion, his touch more firm, more consoling which I appreciated. “You two were friends since College. I guess it explains a lot. “

“Explains what? “

“Why Tanya’s so protective of you, which I can understand. You’re this crusading reporter, and according to folks I’ve talked to, pretty fearless in chasing down the bad guy, or gal. Still, since we first met, and this is probably way off base, there’s been a sorta Little Girl Lost vibe … “

He seemed scared as I laughed so hard so that passersby must have wondered if I was pitching a fit. Just as William was ready to call for a medic, I held up a hand as I took a deep calming breath. Disco Girl, my ass …

“I’m sorry. “ I gasped finally, flashing him a smile to let him know how fine I really was. “It’s just been the sorta weird stuff that … hold up, you’ve been checking up on me? “

“Well, everyone was talking a blue streak about your articles, essays, how you were ‘The Darling of the Underdog, and Last Hope of the Unappreciated. ’ “

“You’re saying you never read even one of my columns? “ the sharp tone caught him off guard and Will stuttered abit. “I-I, not until I Googled you this morning. I didn’t want you to think I was just some dumb actor type … “

I held tight to another outburst, letting slip a giggle or two before giving into a random action. For such a careful man, he wasn’t that slow to put his arms about me as I gave him a firm embrace.
“You … are a very sweet man, and I am a very silly woman. “

The first kiss was astonishing, because while I expected it, my position was different now.
It wasn’t being female, I didn’t think so, though having been dried up for so many years, the level of release was an amazing distraction.
I wondered, just for an instant, if this was what Karen felt, but decided ‘What The Hell. ‘ as I moved in for a second helping.

I couldn’t be sure if it was French Farce or Clown College, whether William or I were leading.
In matters of Romance I’d been trained by Gable and Lombard, Rock Hudson and Doris Day, folks for whom my eager suitor had less than a kissing acquaintance with.
Kissing … we were practically non-stop with that; not that I was complaining at the time, groping each other like randy teenagers.

By the time we’d reached the elevator, I was ready to shed my skimpy attire right then and there. It was certain The Professor would be paid handsomely, damn him!
Still, we held on until the moment I scrabbled in my purse for the key to my suite. I scarcely noticed the ’Do Not Disturb.’ sign hung on the door.

William had me pressed against the door as I pushed it open with my ass, arching my back slightly to help him reach the hook to my bra. But just as he’d started slipping it off, there was a muffled familiar cry from Tanya’s side, and a male voice saying something I couldn‘t quite hear.

“Ohhh shi .. , girlfriend! “ she called out. “We gotta get our signals straight! Go away! “

I backed out promptly, or more correctly William did, dragging me along as I reached behind to slam the door shut.

“My room? “ He choked back laughter while thoughtfully pulling my straps back over my slender shoulders. I wondered, for a half second, just exactly who Tanya was entertaining. My own stud returned to kissing me and I really didn’t care anymore.

Back to the elevator, we ignored our fellow passengers who clearly enjoyed our antics as part of the amenities aboard Amore del Mare II.
“Next show’s at ten. “ he quipped as we came up for air. They chuckled, sharing a look, perhaps inspired to go make their own mischief.

It seemed forever until we got to his much smaller cabin, but it had a bed, and I was in trouble down below. My body needed satisfaction, Stat! William was game to try, fighting the belt around his slacks until it looked like a great white hunter wrestling an anaconda.

I was already undressed by then, and at this point at a loss to understand exactly my part in this operation. Mostly I lay back, alternately frustrated and amused by his comic striptease, and this was where the Clown College action entered in.
Several pratfalls later my would be lover finally dropped his drawers.

Entered in … feeling very much like the virgin bride, though evidently my Godly Makers had not reconstructed Karen with her maidenhead intact. But with an old man at the helm, I was just as awkward and scared at my first time as Receiver. William, for all his bumps and bruises, in reaching the Promised Land, paused only briefly to fumble for condoms before easily slipping between my seriously lubricated thighs.

Will went at his task like a piston, my body soon deciding to get off the bench and into the game. I played the mattress mambo with an enthusiasm which almost knocked my lover off the narrow bed. As I submitted to the will of my female physiology, all at once I thought I had an epiphany, but it might have been the eruption down below.
The stray thought was soon lost in the yell which likely shattered glasses in the ship’s kitchen.

After that, I had at least two more … no, not revelations, so worn out by the end that I’d considered this a bonus to the transformation. And as I rested against his solid lightly muscled and wonderfully naked frame, William softly whispered things which I wouldn’t even put down in this journal.

It was one of Carl memories, a veteran’s hospital where a foolish young soldier lay recuperating. His condition appeared less dire a state than the doctors had first thought. It wasn’t specifically combat … OK, there’d been a fight, but between two GI’s over some skirt at the USO, and then the other fella pulled a knife.

She was a pretty little blonde, barely more than a child, away from Home for the first time. But we were both eager, and I’d looked pretty spiffy in my army uniform. Soon the action was going hot and heavy, in the back of this Cadillac parked outside the club …

She’d forgotten she’d made certain promises to the Lieutenant, whispering the same sweetness in Carl’s ear while he clumsily fondled her pert little breasts.
All those Hygiene lectures which the Army invested Time and Money in had gone out the window, along with his trousers and boxers.

What can I say? I thought it was Love. When that sorry excuse of an officer pulled this grunt out on his bare-butt, I was ready to defend it. That was when the switch blade, non-regulation, slid into my belly and nearly punctured my spleen.

It was also where a soldier by the name of Tony Vicenzo jumped in to save my honor and my life, starting a long rocky friendship for the two of us.

I woke with a start to find William’s half erect manhood nestled with an odd familiarity against my ass. His nose breathed in my musky scent as gentle lips nuzzled my neck. What just happened?

I’d done the deed, with a man I’d barely met, and on a less than subtle level I wanted to do it again. Did this make me a slut?
It was an odd feeling, this sense of indignity over what had been a wonderful thing, of which I’d played no small part in after all.

“Hey there, “ his pleased voice whispered in my ear, more than ready for another round of ‘Hide The Salami. ‘ to which my body was reflexively willing. I was not that innocent seductress from another age, however, feeling like I was being smothered by a comfortable yet suffocating blanket.
All at once the need for Air superseded the want to screw like rabbits. “Hey, you OK? “

“Uh, fine, really. “ I murmured, feeling horrible that William had sensed my rejection, figuring that he was perhaps a little embarrassed as well.

“I mean, it was good, right? “ he asked.

“It just surprised me, that’s all. “ I told him gently, wanting to touch his face but still unwilling to start up again.
Not just yet, I decided, not until I had time to consider my options. “But you didn’t do anything wrong. I just … “

“You just want a little space right now, sure. “ he pulled back slightly, regarding me with mild hurt. “How about you go find your friend? If you still want to, come by the club later. So long as we’re good … “

“We are good, “ I insisted, though hastily gathering up my clothes as I did, perhaps it smacked of Insincerity. “Really truly. “

Love, Sex, and all the embarrassing moments in between, was scarcely particular to any age or any generation. It was all Inspiration yet paradoxically Practical. As a comic genius had once declared. “The First Relationships were based on Fear. We watched each others back. Unless you were on safe ground. “

I think that Carl had never exactly felt on safe ground. In any case, not enough to find that girl who would be willing to look behind him forever. Except for Gail, especially with Gail, and how easy it had been to let her slip away …

I was pleased to find the sign off the door to my suite, feeling a bit ripe following my afternoon delight. Tanya was out on our balcony, wearing just a silk purple robe. She was working on a laptop, all alone.

My girl started in with an impish smirk but dropped it at the tired look on my face.

I really thought I wanted to be left by myself, to soak away my confusion, but apparently friends didn’t let friends stew alone, even in whirlpool baths.

“Doctor Detroit? “ I asked as she wandered in to do her business, then came over to sit on the edge of the low tub.

“Oh yah. “ she frowned. “He showed up shortly after you two left. One great massage later, and suddenly his fingers were in very familiar places.
“Not that I would’ve minded, but Topher isn’t the go to guy for any level of sensitivity. I cut him off before we got any farther than some prelim petting. I think you went beyond that though. “

“Oh yah. “ I murmured, feeling slightly better with someone to talk to. It had been that way shortly after my change, forcing myself to meet the parents of the girl whose body I’d stolen. OK, technically not, but she was gone and here I was. “Way Beyond. “

“And this was a bad thing? “ Tanya inquired pointedly. “Was he that terrible in the sack? He didn’t hurt you, did he? “

“Nooo. “ I ventured slowly, the heat rising from more than just the bath water. “It was amazing for my first … I mean, the first in quite a while. The Professor would … “

“You got together with someone else, and you cheated on him with William? “ my best friend exclaimed, grabbing a hand sympathetically. “No wonder you’re messed up! “

“No, I mean, The Professor’s just a colleague, and a friend … I guess. It’s just we sort of have this job to do, and what was I thinking? spreading for the first guy who … “

“Who actually seems like someone you could enjoy, and could enjoy you? “ she pressed, grinning at the soft mystified expression on my face.
“I mean, here I was with Dr. D, and you were with our sexy Emcee Hunk … I believe you got the better of the deal. “

“But what if he is our guy? “

“I’ve been reviewing the past several incidents, and this is the only cruise that William Zachary has been on. If he’s telling the truth, that is. So while it doesn’t exactly place him in the clear … “

“I guess I’m going to find out tonight. “ I sighed, toweling myself off before mentally selecting the perfect outfit for my mission. “I made a promise, so … “

“Well, I’d tell you to be Good, “ she chuckled, giving me a kiss on my damp forehead. “but that’s kinda out the window … “

“Bitch. “

“Just part of our Friendly Service. But I will catch up with you later on. Now get yourself together, sister. “

I’d figured on catching him early, perhaps get a chance to confirm or reject my renewed suspicions.
Weaving my way through the early evening throng, I bumped into someone I hadn’t thought of since the first day aboard Amore del Mare II. When I fell into those laughing auburn eyes, William was almost forgotten … almost.

“Ms. Foster. “ Second Officer De La Croix greeted me with a smile. “I’ve missed you since Dinner last night. Was my company that unpleasant? “

“I … of course not. “ I remarked with something akin to awkwardness. “I had a lead on our shipboard stalker and I followed up on it .. “

“With Mr. Zachary. “ Did I catch a hint of jealousy behind his matter of fact response? “ Did you get what you wanted from him? “

‘Really … Mr. De La Croix. It’s none of your business who I associate with.. “

This possessive attitude from the men in my life, most of them anyway, already annoyed this new girl more than she could say. Well, The Professor had never staked his claim, not blatantly in any case, for which I’d felt a certain gratitude ...

“You’re right, of course. “ Ramon admitted, smiling somewhat sadly, as if confirming something he’d already suspected. “I did have hopes that we might spend some time together on this cruise, but clearly you’ve already been taken.
"If things don’t work out … but then again I just might have other plans. If I can find someone to help with the arrangements that is. “

“Uh, I’m glad you’re handling this so well and that … what do you mean, Already Been Taken? “ I hadn’t remembered even hinting that William and I had … “Were you spying on me? “

“Good evening to you, Karen. “ his eyes penetrating through to the small of my exposed back. The frustratingly handsome officer started to leave but turned for just a second. “That is a lovely dress by the way, very sexy. I’m sure it will help turn him on. “

With that sharp parting shot, De la Croix disappeared into the crowd, leaving this young woman flabbergasted in her little light blue cocktail dress.

Karaoke Khaos was a smaller annex to the main bar, serving capacity just shy of 150. Sound proof walls muffled the din from the larger venue and it was dimly lit save for a bank of gel spotlights, used to effectively embarrass drunken performers.
I felt like all those lights were focused on me as I intruded upon the setup. Last night it had evidently been Green, but now … a brilliant red.

“Sound check, sound che … “ announced a lanky quite young technician, sweet enough in an unassumingly geeky way. Probably he was quite unaware of his potential, given a decent makeover.
“Can I help you? “ he asked, another Arthur Faber in the making. “Please tell me I can help you … “

“I’m looking for William. He said he’d be here? “ I couldn’t quite avoid a certain neediness to the question, my heightened appreciation of men out in full now.
I pondered my choices, if any, until all considerations were rendered moot by the sound of his voice.

“Hey. “ Ok, so it wasn’t Shakespeare, crossed garters aside. If a picture was worth a thousand words, then the reverse, this simple welcome retrieved a vivid sea of sexual images to my mind. “I see you decided to come by. “

“Well, “ I answered self consciously, accepting a tiny kiss on the cheek from my main suspect. “I did promise, didn’t I? “

“Well, I guess you did. “ William’s lukewarm response was slightly mystifying to me. “But Hey, A Woman’s Prerogative. We’re almost done here, did you want Dinner? “

“I could probably go for Food, “ In truth I was starving, unfed since Breakfast, but evidently a girl had to set her priorities. “but better make it something light? Maybe I should stay off the sauce as well. At least for tonight. “

“Sounds like a plan. “ he approved, signing to the sound guy who gaped with bare-faced admiration at this girl. “Teddy, We Good? “

“Nothing more here that I can’t do on my own. “ Teddy responded only to add with hopeful tact. “You could bring me back a burger? With an extra girl on the side, I mean ... “

“I’ll see if one of the stewards can’t get something to you. “ William laughed and even I smiled a bit as he suggested. “ As for the other … I don’t know. Karen? You think maybe Tanya might? “

I was sorely tempted to pimp my cabin-mate out to this awkward young man, as Payback, but decided she’d consider it an upgrade after the abortive encounter with Doctor D. “She might come in later, but he shouldn’t get his hopes up. “

“And my hopes? “

“We’ll see about that after I’m fed. “ I temporized, his soft whisper in my ear forcing me to refocus on the task at hand. I wanted to know if something beyond normal Girl Lust was at work here.

We had drinks in the open lounge, though in my case it was Ginger Ale. We sat quietly back against the half circular couch, watching the passengers stroll by.
It was an uncomfortable silence between us, though more from my part as his. William was practically unreadable as a pretty little waitress brought my small chicken salad and a refill on my drink. We spotted the Westons’ and they were apparently pleased to see us together.
Thankfully the elderly couple were content to simply wave before going off to some other destination.

I toyed with my food for several minutes before he finally spoke. “So … are you pissed off because we slept together? Or is there something else you’d like to tell me? “

“What makes you say that?! I exclaimed, somewhat startled though in hindsight it made sense.

“Funny thing I heard from a bartender and a couple others. Evidently there were disturbances on some earlier cruises? It was Robbery or something like that? “

“Depends on your definition of Stolen Property, I guess. “ the words came out before I could think straight, a well manicured hand to my lips unable to stop them.
I knew at the moment I said it, my eagerness to uncover a conspiracy, my ambiguity toward our unplanned romp, had resulted in one Hell of a Mistake.

“And you’re not on this cruise to simply relax, right? What is it? A crusade? Out for some kind of Story? “ he pressed, no otherworldly creature here, only a young man betrayed.
“That was why you wanted to get close. You and Tanya had some kind of Sting going on, and I was your patsy! “

“Actually, A Patsy is a Fall Guy. “ I corrected automatically, wondering just how much more I could mess up this up. “You were a Suspect … at first, only at first. “

“I think I’m the one who needs some air here. “ He decided firmly, pausing for the slightest moment to see what I had to say. “I’d like to say it’s OK, but that would be a lie, and at least one of us should tell the whole truth. “

“Will, I … “

“Just let it go, Karen. “ my man, no, correct that, my lover held up a hand as I started to follow. I thought I could flirt, make a joke, explain my reasons for being an Idiot. “Let me go, OK? “

I let him, watching as his shoulders slumped, suddenly aware my wide eyes were moist. It appeared that I was about cry like … well, like the girl I was now.
If I’d been Carl I would have simply covered my error with macho B.S. In a way I was still Carl, mostly, and he wanted to find the nearest bar and get wrecked.

July 24th;

I’d avoided everyone like the plague, choosing instead to nurse my pity over a beer and several shots of … I don’t remember exactly what. My raccoon eyes probably would’ve made me a target for the legions of shipboard Lotharios, or even our stalker.
Happily, the sour mash mood proved as effective as Mace in keeping the males at bay.

I recalled that Tanya did indeed come by, clearly disappointed to see her best girl sulking like some prom night reject. But when her solicitous attempts to draw me out failed, she simply hauled me off to bed, remarking somewhat sardonically that she hoped this wasn’t going to be a habit.

At first light I felt seriously like staying beneath the covers but forced myself out of bed. I ordered room service for the two of us, even giving my room-mate a forced smile as she emerged from a long shower.
“So, you ready to tell me? “

“I messed up … Big Time. “ I muttered crossly. “William’s angry, and I guess he has a right to be. We’re no closer to discovering anything unusual aboard this ship, just the usual cruise line soap opera … “

“What did you say to William to piss him off, girl? “ she demanded firmly, divining the answer at once as I gamely fought against more waterworks. “He thought you were investigating him? Subtle, girlfriend. Real subtle. “

“Well, I was investigating him, in a roundabout way. “

“And you went to bed with him to pump him for information? Is that your usual way of getting a story? “

“Actually, he was doing a lot of the pumping … Hey! “ I protested as she flashed a huge ‘Told You So. ‘ smile at me. “That’s not Fair. “

“So sue me. “ Tanya laughed, taking my hands in hers. “We’ve both been half assed about this whole thing, and in your case that’s a lot of ass … “

“Your mama. “ I shot back, though not with any real anger as I realized how much of a friend she really was.

“ … and it’s as much my fault as yours. I guess I should take some responsibility for dragging you along, so let’s get out there and find us a stalker. “

In contrasting the investigative styles of an old has-been reporter and this younger consumer advocate, I can only say this. That despite a very similar dedication to our craft, a relentless push for Full Disclosure, by days end she was the more honest of the two of us.
I was beginning to understand this as I walked the length of Amore del Mare II, casually talking with various young ladies, one of whom I’d had a nodding acquaintance with …

“I thought you looked kinda familiar. “ gushed one Rochelle Sandburg, Petite Psychology student from University of Pennsylvania, excited to discover a celebrity of sorts aboard. “You’re much prettier in person. That photo they use for your column isn’t very flattering, ya know? "

“I sure do. “ I agreed, in sync for once with my fellow woman.
Vanity, while never really an exclusive female trait, for our gender had been almost an art form in exaggeration.
Even from Day One; in closely examining Karen’s past efforts, I’d found the quite grainy misrepresentation disturbing. “But what were you saying a minute ago about Profiling? “

“Well, I just find it kinda funny. Here we are, freely involved in a traditional social experiment, our best faces on. But eventually the masks must come off, and our expectations challenged, ya know? “

“You mean ‘The more we learn, the more we find out what we don’t know? ‘ “ I teased, trying to spot the scholar behind the girl before me, a lingering roundness to her fresh cheeks with a sly hint of freckles.

It made me laugh to think of Ms. Sandburg in her red/white polka-dot bikini top and snug white shorts, delivering a serious lecture before her class. “Very academic of you. And how does this apply to something as mundane as a cruise? “

“Only that I’m prepared to be disappointed … a lot. “ Rochelle smiled sweetly. “But occasionally we might find a Happy exception, or two? “

“That’s true, if you recognize it when it does come along. “ I ventured, perhaps too obvious with my own regret.

She brightened at once, that blithe spirit filled with youthful certainty as she replied. “And that eventually you’ll get what you need? “

I held back the obvious dry retort, thank you Mick Jager, pretending that the gap between us were Years instead of Decades. “Of course. “

“So, are you and your girlfriend clubbing tonight? “

“Clubbing? “ I repeated stupidly.

“As in feeling the Fun, joining my friends and I in a few drinks, scoping out the guy action … “ she explained carefully, bobbing her head slightly to look in my eyes.

“No. I mean, I know what clubbing is, and it sounds doable . “

“It’s settled then. “ Ms. Sandburg confirmed, waving to her aforementioned friends across the way. “It’ll be a blast, for sure. “

“I’m sure. “ I hid my lack of enthusiasm well, even as Rochelle exchanged some cheerful words with Tanya ,who came in on the end of our conversation.

“Making new friends I see. Smart too. “ Tanya laughed, after the girl left.

“And a future recruit for the Feds at Quantico at that. She did make one good point, however. Unfortunately it means he’ll likely strike before we spot him. On the other hand, we have a date with our cute co-ed to scope out the guy action. Maybe we’ll get lucky? “

“If he’s here at all. “ for the first time Tanya sounded uncertain. “He’d hit twice on each of the past few excursions. I was counting on the man getting cocky. But what if he decided to try one of our other ships? “

“It was always gonna be iffy, in any case. “ I advised, feeling back on familiar ground.
Kolchak had stumbled through most of his stranger cases, Blind Luck being his Ace in The Hole. “But I’m still game to try. After all, what else do we got going on this cruise? “

If I’d asked earlier, I was certain she would’ve had a long list of possible people, read men. But as it would turn out, I was to discover just how distracted I could get …

Up to this point I’d decided to concentrate upon the task at hand. That was until Mrs. Weston, ever the romantic, decided to toss her own rock into my emotional mine field.

“So, both James and I were thrilled to see you with William last night. Ever since that first introduction at dinner, you seemed bent on chasing him. Honestly dear, he was hardly running. “

Late afternoon lunch, just us three girls, and yet I idly picked at the sliver of salmon on my plate. Tanya, ever tactful, eyed my slow dissection of the inoffensive fish and turned to Jenny as she said. “Well, it seems that our boy’s qualifying for the Boston Marathon now. “

“That’s a shame. Did he misbehave? Or not enough? “

“Actually, “ Tanya answered. “There was something that Karen and I were investigating. Well, the truth is that I was investigating and Karen was along for the ride … “

“You didn’t exactly twist my arm when you asked me. “ I protested. “Maybe just a little, but still. “

“Hold on, girls. “ Mrs. Weston interrupted brusquely, very much like an old style school-mistress. “What was the problem? And what does this have to do with Mr. Zachary? “

So we explained everything to Jenny, and when the both of us finished she was shaking her head.

“And here I was thinking we had an axe murderer or the Anti-Christ onboard. But you, young lady … “ she pointed an accusing finger my way. “ … to even think William Zachary was your mystery masher. After the way you pressed him, it’s only natural that he returned the favor. “

“And that still doesn’t help with our stalker. “ I complained so fiercely that Jenny blinked.

“But the two are connected, can’t you see that? “ she scolded us. “What’s important is not the man, but rather the women he seduced. You both came into this thinking he was a snake charmer, a used car salesman, when in truth he was the opposite. He would have to be to attract such a wide variety of women. “

“And he would a reflection for their hopes and desires? “

“And much more besides. “ clucked the older woman. “Still, this cockamamie idea you had about being Bait? “

“Yes? “ I asked stupidly.

“It wouldn’t have worked. Because, in order to draw him to you? You would’ve needed to be filled. Figuratively, of course. By the end of the first night, You’d found what you wanted … “

“William? “ I countered with mild annoyance, though more at myself. Hardly a perfect plan, but Jenny was absolutely right. “So, William’s Mr. Right? “

“Or Mr. Right Now, does that really matter? “

“I suppose not. “ I murmured thoughtfully, swayed by her firm grasp of the obvious. “But first … “

“You need to make things right with your man, young lady. “ she challenged. “So long as you leave this unresolved, it will make the rest that much harder. “

“And just how am I suppose to do that when he isn’t talking to me? “
“By putting it all in song. “ Jenny smiled

I was still ambivalent toward their grand scheme to reunite lovers parted. Tanya, in any case, firmly held my elbow to keep her best gal from making a run for our stateroom.

Still I stood, frozen in wavering confidence just outside the club entrance. Guilt than anything else pressed me forward into that noisy throng. Rochelle, ever vigilant, spotted us at once. “Hey, Karen! See, Girls? I told you she’d show up! “

Her exuberance seemed infectious, the notion that in her mind I, that is to say Karen Klein, was someone worthy of honor. This was definitely a better part of this package, and it brought a natural smile to my lips, even as she pressed a wine glass in my hand.
“Drink Up, the night’s just getting started. “

I was oh so cautious, the fuzzy memories of my previous bender still fresh enough that I nursed the Chablis, even as Rochelle introduced her two ship-mates, Carla Jensen and Natalie Bruno.

Carla was willow thin, rather laidback beside her more boisterous friends. Natalie, almost Amazonian in stature, deeply tanned foil for Ms. Sandburg’s enthused attitude. The way they bounced off each other, it clearly tickled Tanya’s own college memories.

For my part, I simply leaned back and allowed the runaway dialog to flow over me, just soaking up the ambiance until an oddity caught my wandering eye.

Just for a second I thought I saw a familiar face, even as that mischievous grin let me know he’d caught me looking. But before I could confirm his presence, the crowd swirled about him and he vanished.

“So, I was wondering if your agent ever works with novice writers? ”

“I’m sorry, what? “ it was gone, even as I found Natalie giving me a quizzical look.

“I mean, how exactly do you break into your brand of journalism anyway? I can be as outraged as the next girl. “ she said, all serious.

“Well, being nosy for one thing. “ I temporized, surveying the crowd a final time before giving up. “Having a deep desire to help others, is another, I suppose. But even with the best intentions, there’s one underlying quality which keeps a critic honest. “

Even as the girls leaned forward in anticipation, I could finally give Tanya the truly honest smile she deserved. “If you know who your true friends are … everything else eventually makes sense. “

The sideways looks which our young ladies shot each other made me wonder, just how solid their own sisterhood was. It would be tested, I was sure of that.
But for myself, I hoped that I’d taken that first real step toward certifying Tanya and my relationship.

It was not hers to prove, in any case. She operated on a practical sort of Faith, that I would eventually reward the trust she’d placed in Karen. And even now, a portion of that debt was about to be paid.

I couldn’t say that William was surprised to see me enter Karaoke Khaos, but he played it cool with a poker face that any serious gambler would’ve paid major Coin for. I was decidedly less so, my Tell, an open embarrassment which actually prettied my cheeks better than any makeup. As we girls found a small table near the front, the festivities were just getting started.

“Karaoke Khaos is all for the Fun. “ he announced a bit louder than I expected. The mike amplified his own nervousness which he covered with a cute cheesy grin. “But as our high tech sound system shows, it’s also the moment where we literally Face The Music, Hang out our hopes, our fears, for the audience here to judge. “

It was his idea of Pay Back, which I was more then ready for. William, however, clearly meant to make me squirm.

“So while we might want to be cruel, just remember kiddies that we’re all on the same boat together. So, who’s our first Victim, I mean Contestant? “

He passed me by, choosing a petite Korean girl from Alabama, Cindy, who confessed that her fiancé had dumped her right before the cruise. So it was only proper that she chose ‘Maybe Next Time He’ll Think Before He Cheats. ‘

While little Cindy did a decent impersonation of the artist, William went back to scanning the room for additional talent to fill his roster.

I’d dipped my head slightly, giving him the widest doe eyes every time he glanced my way, almost catching a smile. But he wasn’t buying it as our Emcee Hard To Get corralled another six people. Tanya finally leaned toward me. “Your man has a serious Grudge On. “

“And he means to keep me off the stage tonight. “ I told her, a mix of relief and annoyance welling up inside.

Tanya smirked somewhat, ready in her own way to back me. “Is that’s the tech geek you mentioned? Working the back of the stage … what was his name? “

“Teddy. Yep, that’s him. “ I responded, amused by her conspiratorial outrage.
“Then let me go work him and you get ready to sing your little heart out. “ she suggested with a sly flip of her hair.

Our new sisters were at first taken back to see my cabin mate flirting outrageously with the sound man.
They soon decided it was simply drunken high jinks, laughing at how out of her league he was.

It was all good fun until unexpectedly the stage lights and sound went down, halfway through a mangled version of ’I’m Too Sexy. ’by an Ad executive named Joey. In the confusion, people not certain if they were coming, going, or staying put, I took to the tiny stage.

I caught Tanya’s eye as she apologized profusely to Teddy for touching the wrong bit of equipment. Evidently it wasn’t terminal though, Teddy able to correct the problem with a simple reboot.

William was near the exit, just trying to calm everyone down as I picked up the still active mike. At the first hesitant strain, his eyes at last focused where they rightly should have been earlier.

“No, I can't forget that evening. Or your face as you were leaving. But I guess that's just the way the story goes.
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows. Yes, it shows. “

From Confusion back to Fun, good natured Hoots greeted what I thought to be a respectful on key rendition. But from my intended audience of One, there was something lurking behind those penetrating eyes. Good or Bad, I couldn’t tell.

“No, I can't forget tomorrow. When I think of all my sorrow. When I had you there but then I let you go. And now it's only fair that I should let you know. What you should know. “

Tanya was back with the girls, Rochelle and Company totally with me as I took the wireless microphone off its’ stand.
I strolled through the crowd with steady yet contrite steps, hiding a smile at the hopeful looks from several men. There was only one man this song was meant for, and at last I could see a faint upturn to his lips.

“I can't live if living is without you. I can't live, I can't give any more. I can't live if living is without you. I can't give, I can't give any more. “

“ No, I can't forget this evening. Or your face as you were leaving. But I guess that's just the way the story goes … “

William finally broke down as he took the mike from me, shaking his head with a bemused fondness.

I stood there with hands crossed behind my back, allowing him the next move as William swept me into his arms.
If I’d thought my first kiss was amazing, well … perhaps Make Up Sex really was the best kind as we stood lip locked for what seemed forever. The crowd went crazy with approval.

“You … are Impossible. “ William mumbled, vibrating my lips delightfully. He stepped back while still holding my shoulders, appraising my light blue cocktail dress, the twinkle in my eyes had his quiet approval.

I nodded sweetly as I couldn’t help but tease him just a bit. “I really am. But what can you do about it? “

“I’ll decide that later … after I finish up with all this. “ he countered with a stern tone. “Can you be Good until then? “

“I think so. “ I tried for the smallest voice I could muster but failed, a wicked grin on my face all the while.
Sure, it was relief, and lust, but also some elusive feeling in the back of my mind. I decided that I’d have to talk to The Professor about this, yet it didn’t necessarily signal a bad thing.

“Well, I can work with that. “ he answered, slowly untangling our bodies so to go wrap up Karaoke Khaos’ wild night. I still tingled with excitement even as Tanya and Rochelle caught me in an inspired collective bear hug .

“That … was so cool! “ the student fussed, clearly envious … in a sweet way. “You finally got what you needed … “

“That’s for later tonight. “ I giggled, already contemplating our next round in the sack. “But you have your theory, young lady. You just have put it into practice. “

“Well … “ she mused softly, casting a dubious look around us at the available candidates. “I’ve been disappointed so far … a lot. Maybe it’s time for that Happy Exception? “

“That ta girl. I guess you can consider this your Seaman’s Trial? “

“Semen? “ frowned Rochelle, even as Tanya snorted somewhat rudely. “Sailor Test, honey. “ I laughed, smacking my friend on her left arm. “It’s kind of a final exam, except at sea. “

“Ah. “ Ms. Sandburg blushed, her youthful cheeks as red as her roots. “That makes more sense … I guess. So long as I don’t need to know my knots. “

“Well, one thing at a time. “ I soothed, the sisterly advice so surreal in the face of my own novel perspective. “But go see the night out properly with your friends, and maybe I’ll see you tomorrow. “

“Okay, Coach. “ Rochelle kidded, giving me a smudgy peck on my left cheek for my troubles. “But if I don’t … well. You just might have other things going on? “

“Speaking of which, “ Tanya added as I watched William joking about onstage. “You and William take the big bed tonight. I’m going to the concierge office for awhile, get some work done. “

“I could help … “

“… by waking up in a good mood for once, girlfriend. “ she interrupted jokingly. At least I thought it was a joke. “I’ll be in late, so you two get as busy as you want. Kiss William for me, you lucky bitch. “

“Oh ya. “ I whispered to no one in particular, smugly impressed with my own trial and apparent triumph. “I am one Lucky Bitch, for sure. “

Even as I contemplated my prize, in one handsome package, I couldn’t have anticipated what affect my self important counsel had started.

July 25th

William and I had absolutely given the space foam mattress a serious workout, perhaps going beyond it’s factory specs as we went just a little crazy in our love making.
Was it Love? How did I know for sure?

If not Love, at least it was some seriously respectful boning, swapping places several times during each session, stopping only with the last grunt from our partner. That was more difficult than I imagined, trying to anticipate each others climax without cheating somewhat.

Being the woman, I was still unsure as to what, exactly, I wasn’t getting. Only that occasionally William missed the mark. My advantage over the lifelong girls was my total lack of humility, especially where Ego came into play.
I knew that when he wasn’t doing the job, I kept on until he would hit it right. When he did, it sent my already wired senses into overload.

We eventually retired to a worn yet blissful state, fingers idly caressing each other as we lay face to face. Such a moment of pure contentment, I never really registered this phantom emotion until several minutes after the fact.

It had the quality of an echo. The odd sensation which existed on the edge of my inner periphery, clearly had an opinion all its own.
As in the club, it felt strange but not dangerous, and instinctively I was encouraged by its presence. Like some guardian angel, it whispered me to sleep. I dreamt of all the people in my Life. Gail & Daniel, The Professor … even Arthur.

William pulled me close once again, his instinctive erection entering me, all other sweet memories banished. For the few remaining hours of the night, both awake and in slumber, all my thoughts turned to him

I woke up missing him terribly, my questing fingers stroking the cool hollow where his sturdy body once rested. It was slightly disorienting, how his absence upset me.

Carl had rarely admitted missing any woman, even Gail. But was this simply a girl thing? A Karen trait? Or had William revived something inside the former man which he’d never known he’d lost?

My fickle emotions, devoid of any real sensual depth, had now been filled, and I felt the empty space all the more for it. Just where the hell was William? Did he get what he wanted from me? Was this some kind of emotional payback for my deceit? Did I just imagine that he cared for me?

“Morning, sleepyhead. “ My fear fled before his merry voice, and I rolled over to give my beau a radiant smile. He’d trundled in our continental breakfast, an impressive layout of fruit and pastries, along with coffee, enough for several people.

“I know we were pretty vigorous last night, but whose gonna eat all this? “ I laughed, sitting upright to slip an egg-shell satin gown over my nude body.

I was somewhat annoyed that my lover was more dressed than I was, casual in his tan cargo shorts and matching T-shirt. It was then I noticed a third setting at the table as William first kissed my lips, then slid a raspberry Danish between them.

“Tanya will be joining us this morning. “ he answered. “She and I have been chatting while you were playing Sleeping Beauty. “

“And who says I was playing? “ I mused, all aglow as William gave me an approving once over look.

I wriggled off the bed, feeling the plush carpet between my bare toes as if for the first time. I felt devilish as I leaned seductively toward him, half a pastry sticking out of my mouth.
Quick to please, William leisurely nibbled it down to my moist lips where he sampled them for a time. As distracting as this was, something he said brought back my reporter’s interest. “What were you two talking about? “

“Life, The Universe, Your mystery man. “

“Uh, I don’t think I ever apologized properly for that … “ I began until he quieted me with another kiss.
“I think we can agree that you did. Several times over in fact, and I forgive you. I‘m almost flattered … almost.“

He took my hand quite naturally and I was bound to place it where it’d do the most good when Tanya interrupted our foreplay. She shook her head with mischievous delight, beaming like some proudly perverse parent. Despite her pride, she plopped down at the table all the same.

“And here I was, hoping to catch you two taking a breather. “ she groaned good naturedly.

“It’ll be hard … “ I began, squeezing William’s fingers tight to cut off any quip or other bad joke. “ … but we’ll be good. “

“It isn’t that big a deal. I just thought we could make the rounds some time today. Talk with Mrs. Weston. She’d like to know you guys are solid again … “

‘My God. Who else was in on this conspiracy? Did you ladies leave anyone out? “ he snorted with feign annoyance. “It’s like I’m trapped in some demented Chick Flick … “

“Well. We could turn that around real quick. “ Tanya grinned as she undid a few buttons to her modest halter top. I grabbed her hand before my man got too interested.
“ Or we could make the rounds. “ I retorted, amending quickly. “After Breakfast. “

In the midst of getting ready to catch up with Tanya, straightening out my rumpled mane, slipping on my dove white shorts and light blue top, he snuck up behind me. I welcomed the clinch, clinging to a touch of Insecurity, as well as William.
I turned to look up into those quiet eyes. To reassure myself more than him. “And the weird just keeps getting weirder, huh? “

“And yet I’m getting used to it. “ he chuckled easily, still holding me. “Is this a regular thing with you? “

“Which thing? Seducing young studs? Or Dealing with some really strange cases … ?“

“Both and neither. “ he murmured in my ear. “Just so long as I’m the only stud. For this voyage at least. As for the other thing … “

“Yes? “

“You could let me help? This guy might be dangerous.“

I was too tickled by the abrupt image of William in shining armor to be insulted.

Karen, while absolutely the fair maid, had proven herself more than capable in Carl’s measure. It felt good that he worried, in any case, but still I was concerned for him. “Perhaps, but don’t be going off all macho when I ask. Save that stuff for the bedroom, Okay? “

“We’re in the bedroom. “ he reminded me, cupping my ass gently in his hands. “You could stay … “

“I’m not going anywhere. “ I laughed, unfolding his fingers but firmly holding them. “It’s not that big a boat, kiddo. I’ll see you later on, say around two? “

“I’ll bring my Macho. “ He promised.

“So long as you’re not ‘Faster Than A Speeding Bullet. ‘ “ I told him from the exit, dodging away before a bit of pastry splattered against the door jam. This afternoon, I decided, would be very interesting …

As it turned out, our rendezvous was to be interrupted as I went to locate my girl. Instead, Tanya found me near the lounge.

“We have a problem, girlfriend. Our super stud struck Last Night. While you were getting your grove on, and I was working. “

“What happened? “

“It was a double-header. if you believe it? “ my cabin-mate explained. “A couple girls that we know … “

“Rochelle … And Natalie? “ I guessed. “They’re not hurt … “

“It was Carla and Rochelle. I wouldn’t think so. The ships doctor is with them now. “ she answered with a reassuring tone. “ I set Mrs. Weston to keep vigil with Natalie. It was more like they both were caught up in a state of euphoria. “

“Like A Date Rape drug. “ I suggested, following close behind as we headed for their cabin.

“If it was that. But for some reason I doubt it. They both seem fairly lucid if excitable, as if … “

“They just had the best sex? … ever? “

“Well, you’d know more about that than me. “ Tanya teased in a half jealous tone. “So maybe you can make sense of what they told us. In the meanwhile, I’ll help Jenny rein in our third wheel. She’s ready to go on a tear. “

On a tear was abit of an overstatement, but not by much. The statuesque student flipped her shoulder length raven locks away from the long face as we entered. “I heard you two were looking for this guy! Nice of you to warn us. “

“Now dear. “ Jenny Weston interceded quite deftly. “No one was sure if he was even aboard. If there’d been any doubt … “

“Both Tanya and I hoped to draw him out ourselves. “ I added, as contrite as I could. Honestly though, the soft almost beatific smiles from the involved parties made her outrage almost comical. “There was never any danger, but like Jenny said … “

Natalie snorted at this, but she was calmer now as the doctor joined us.

“Well, there’s no sign of any trauma. Apart from the expected inebriation, they appear healthy. “ he said. “I’ll fax the blood work and other tests to the main land to be sure, but otherwise your young ladies are safe. “

“Which is a good, I think. “ I groused. “Still, I’d feel much better if we actually had the guy in hand ... “

“Oh, we had him in hand. “ giggled Carla from the bed, wrapped comfortably in her terrycloth robe. A similarly clad Rochelle added brightly. “Like you said, Karen. Seize the day, or something. Our man in white. “

“White? Like Club Wear? “ This tugged at a vague memory of mine. “Or was it something else? “

“Like The Good Humor Man. “ Tanya suggested unhelpfully.

“Nothing good about it. “ our unaffected co-ed complained. “We’d thought to close out the club while Rochelle was dancing with as many boys as she could. Testing a theory, which I understand was your idea, Karen? “

“In a way. But I didn’t say all in one night. So where did our Man in White come from? “

“I didn’t get that good a look at him. He was tall, very handsome, his shirt and trousers neatly pressed, that smile … was dazzling … “

“Oh shit! “ I exclaimed, the mental cobwebs whisked away in a shock of clarity. “Was he inside the club? Or perhaps just outside the door … “

“He was near the entrance, chatting with Carla while Rochelle refreshed her drink. “ Natalie confirmed, eyeing us with some concern “I was on the verge of going over myself. Just to make sure my girls were all right, you understand. But I never felt anything was wrong. In fact, I was feeling pretty good. But I turned away for a second, and they were gone. “

“And you found them back in your cabin … when? “ I inquired softly, feeling a window of opportunity closing fast.

“I wandered the ship for a time. “ she answered while she, Jenny and Tanya, took my fidgeting to heart. “It must have been only an hour, and I decided to check in before calling security. They were both here, naked and … well obviously very pleased with themselves. “

“You got a thought, girl. “

“I got more than one thought. “ I affirmed Tanya’s suspicions, feeling several times the fool as to what I was going to do. “But while I go do a little hunting of my own, I need a big favor from you. “

“Anything. “ she answered, rather put out she wasn’t invited. “But are you sure you don’t want me … ? “

“Oh, of course I do! “ I gushed, interlacing my dainty fingers in hers. For all the years that she and Karen were friends … for the loyalty she showed this imposter who wore Karen’s body, trying to live her life. “I think, however, it would be safer if someone else was there. If I’m right. “

“So what can I do? “

“Call William. Have him meet me at the lounge. If I’m not there, well, he can start from the bridge and work his way along some of the service corridors? “

“You think it’s one of the crew … don’t you? “ she asked, slowly realizing what I was about. “I should contact the Captain? “

“And we’ll lose our man that much faster. “ I countered quickly. “Just get William, and give me time before you call in any reinforcements. “

I was on the move, letting go of Tanya even as Rochelle chirped cheerfully. “Good Luck! “

‘I might have other plans. If I can get someone to help arrange it. ‘
That damn self-satisfied son of a bitch, it had to be him. Still, I’d been too preoccupied with William to realize …

We paid little attention to the man behind the curtain, until he’d made his choice(s). I was still selfish enough to assume I’d been First on his hit list.
Still, if ever I was to find him, it would have to be on his terms. That was why I couldn’t trust any woman around him. Not even my best friend.

“Ms. Klein. “ the soft male voice caught me off guard as I ascended the central staircase. So subtle, but it was only James Weston. “I’m glad to see you, of course. I wanted to thank you. You and Ms. Landers have been spending so much time with my wife. It’s been good for her, I do believe. “

“Well, thank you. “ I answered honestly, if somewhat hurriedly. “It’s been fun for us as well. “

“Have you seen her? I was hoping we’d do lunch … “

“Uh, she’s helping Tanya with a project. “ I amended “I’ll let her know you’re looking for her? As soon as I take care of a small errand … “

Oh, did it have anything to do with Second Officer De la Croix? “ James suggested brightly. “I was just talking with him a few minutes ago, and he mentioned having an appointment with a charming young lady. I couldn’t consider anyone more charming … “

“And where was this? “ I couldn’t quite hide the immediacy in my voice which raised an eyebrow. Still he smiled quizzically.
“Just down that corridor? You and he are …how do young folk say it? … an item? Jenny had thought that Mr. Zachary … “

“Oh, No, it is William. “ I confirmed quickly, grasping his hand gratefully. “It’s just I need to confront … I mean, confirm something with our wayward officer. William knows .. Will know … could you just send him along when you see him? “

“Of course I can. “ Mr. Weston answered to my back, blissfully unaware of his role as Message Boy for my target. I was confident by now that Ramon wanted to be found by me. What would happen next? It was anyone’s guess.

If I’d thought he would make it this easy, I’d have said ‘Yes.’ to my beau’s earlier request. But it was evidently how the game, and I, was being played.
Something of my old indignations resurfaced as James directions took me further off the beaten track, along a passage that even the crew rarely used much. As Kolchak, I would have been slightly concerned, but as Karen …

It was somewhere beneath the pool, amidst a maze of conduits and rather heavy duty plumbing, that I reached a dead-end. I wondered if somehow Mr. Weston had been mistaken, until I felt the unmistakable masculine presence behind me.
“I didn’t think you’d let me down, Ramon … or whatever you are. “

“I’m whatever you’d like me to be, young lady. “ he chuckled, though the polish was thinner than I remembered. “Now who you are … that’s a far more interesting question. “

“A woman, a daughter, a reporter … and now someone’s lover. “ I shot back with practiced annoyance. “Is there something else I need to be? “

His tone was mocking, with none of the kindness that The Professor ever showed me. “What indeed? As much as I wear the shell of a mortal man … perhaps you’ve been less honest with your own façade? The daughter who lies to her parents, A reporter who falsifies her own existence, A lover who … “

Before De la Croix’s blunt challenge, all my uncertainties were laid bare. I wanted, I needed, and I couldn’t explain any of it to those who loved me … loved Karen most.
It was Carl who bluffed his way through her Life. I hadn’t even been able to accept William’s open reception to what had been an egocentric demand on my part. Who was I to call this man a liar … ?

It was the crux of my chaos that I thought of the void, that trap which Janus had hoped would destroy a meddling old man forever. “What if? “ I considered in a panic. “Carl is the Illusion? That I am Karen after all? “

If so. Perhaps a White Knight was in order after all?

“ … A lover who erred but owned up to it in a big way. “ William interjected, his arrival unnoticed by either of us, his soft angry voice cutting easily through the pretense. “A women who … no matter what she thinks she did, or didn’t do, proved her faithfulness afterwards, time and again. A friend who was ready to go it alone even as she had someone willing to stand beside her … “

Now he confronted Ramon. He’d obviously brought his Macho with him, which our unfathomable Lothario benignly contemplated, as well as the two of us.

“I do believe I owe you an apology … Ms. Klein. Perhaps this wasn’t simply an exercise in getting you laid. It’s too bad though. Romantics like our Mr. Zachary rarely keep girls such as you for long. “

“And what would you know about that?! “ snapped William, his fierce new role as Protector worrying me somewhat.
I stepped in quickly, firmly clutching his clenched fist. “William, don’t. “

“Oh, I’ve been in the game forever, boy. “ Ramon declared with a creditable boast. “Though not in this body, of course. Still, the women, and those who wish to be, they’ve scarcely changed in millennia unending.
"Lessons unheeded by Men, selfish needs confused with self-worth. I simply slip between the cracks ( and closed thighs ) to fill those empty spaces. “

“And what happens to all those women you satisfy? “ I countered weakly, slightly moist as his eyes focused on my crotch, brazen in his ability to arouse me. “Do they stay that way? Are they really happier for it? “

“My sweet naive woman. “ Ramon declared, reminding me faintly of The Professor.
Again, it was a lack of any solid humanity which set him apart from my dear friend. “It’s only sex. What baggage you bring into the bedroom is yours still when you leave. As I said ‘It’s simply an exercise in getting you laid. ‘ Everything after is incidental. “

“Incidental! “ William hissed, held in check only by my presence and his promise. “I think, Incidentally, that it’s past time you’re put out of business … for good! “

“Fortunately I’ve finished my business with this particular venue, though perhaps Ms. Klein might call on me … some time down the road? “ this now clearly inhuman being sneered, even as the cavalry arrived.

Tanya, the Captain and several of the crew, simply gaped in disbelief as tendrils of fog-like water vapors thickened about our man. He was becoming more insubstantial by the minute, translucence giving way to transparency, until the only thing remaining was a faint outline … and that damnable smile.

“As for my work … I still have a world of women needing my special attentions … “

And with that final Cheshire-like smirk, Ramon De la Croix vanished into whatever nether realm he’d come from.

“I’d often seen a cat without a grin … “ William quoted dryly before I hit him roughly on his arm.

July 27th

The final day aboard Amore del Mare II, a time to reflect. Tanya and I had finished our collective reports to her bosses. That final confrontation did undergo a rather colorful revision before they would accept any of it. But as much as Carl Kolchak had inured himself to ridicule, this gal wasn’t ready to cross that ocean again.

The girls were recovering, if utterly embarrassed by their aberrant threesome with their almost spectral seducer. Natalie had even unbent toward me enough to join several of us for breakfast, slyly nibbling a bit of blacken bread while Tanya tried to clarify things, for those who missed out.

“Ramon De la Croix was an officer in name only. We did find a real man listed with the company, but he’d been on leave for the past two weeks. Evidently the personnel manifest was either never updated, or altered by our stalker. “

“But wouldn’t our imposter have trouble blending in all the same? “ asked Mr. Weston with understandable incredulity. “I mean, at least some of the crew must’ve shipped out before with the true officer. Right? “

“You would think so. “ my girlfriend acknowledged, slipping a meaningful glance my way. “And yet somehow he hid in plain sight. His shifts were covered and yet no one specifically remembers Ramon doing them. They knew he was aboard, but few recall spending any real time with him. I can‘t explain it. “

“More things in Heaven or Earth … after all. “ I suggested, sharing a moment with William, thanking my own stars. I considered how close I’d come to missing this particular boat. “And we had no word as to where he came from or even how he got off the ship. But every cruise line and travel agency in the US and Canada is on alert. We can only hope … “

“ … That they catch him? “ Natalie cut in rudely. “I mean, it isn’t like he’s The Boogey Man or a refugee from some B-Grade Horror flick. Right? He’s Flesh n Blood. He’s got Fingerprints and a Willy. Yes? “

“It’s more like he’ll try to strike again, and someone will catch him. “ Jenny Weston intervened, though she gave me a long thoughtful stare while sipping juice. “And with Karen’s numerous contacts, she’ll find someone who can help. “

“Possibly. “ I smiled slightly as I thought of my bet with that specific someone. I was curious as how this all tied in with his particular stake. “Very helpful, I’m sure. “

So that was it, as far I was concerned. Another outrageous story unsuitable for the mainstream press, even stripped of it’s more supernatural aspects. Amore del Mare Cruises had seen to that, though it was otherwise very cooperative. Under conditions of absolute anonymity, naturally.
Tanya pushed as far as she could, but in the end it was her job to sooth ruffled feathers. It was only my word against the crew … and one other.

July 29th
New York City.

The end of the line was the end of my hosts benevolence, almost immediately as my feet hit dry land. It was handled with far greater tact than I was used to as the Westons threatened a lawsuit, along with the three co-eds. Propriety trumped any further subterfuge. Of course I had a few conditions of my own to add …

“I’m not sure how I feel about you saving my job, hon. “ came the muffled masculine voice through the thin door of the bath. While the rather modest room at the Ramada wasn’t technically free, Tanya had promised she’d cook the books a bit further to reimburse me. “I never did like that gig. Still, ‘Work is Work.’ I guess. “

It surely was. We finished our inspired frolics back in the Big Apple while Tanya met with Amore del Mare executives. All the better to try and explain exactly what had happened.

Without knowing how long the interrogation would take, we’d said our goodbye at the dock, exchanging contact information with our new friends. Amazing as they all had been, it was my old friend whom I held tight as she whispered in my ear.

“I wanted to thank you, Kay-Kay. “ she’d chuckled dryly. “Though it didn’t quite end as we hoped, it was much better with you beside me. Mostly … when you weren’t doing the mattress mambo with William or being such a whiny bitch. “

“I wouldn’t have missed any of this. “ I’d answered back, remembering that one little thing remaining between us. “But the next time you can make it to Cleveland, I’ll likely have quite a story myself to tell you. “

“Which might be awhile. Especially what with all the damage control still to do. “ she’d rejoined earnestly before disengaging. “But at least my ego and pension fund remains intact. You take care, Kay-Kay. Oh, and I hope this friend of yours can help ID our ghostly gigolo. “

“After The Professor stops laughing long enough. “ I’d thought sardonically even as I waved goodbye.

“I know, “ I teased my boyfriend, all squeaky clean and gift-wrapped in a towel. I was so ready to get dirty again, before we had to part in the morning. “Unfortunately I only have a limited budget. Otherwise … how would you feel about being a Kept Man? “

“Oddly comfortable with it. “ he mused, settling down beside me to absently tease my breasts through the sleek satin robe. “But at least you have me for today. After that … it should be interesting, whatever happens. “

And after that elegant understatement, we both discovered another shower was definitely in order.

Aug 5th
Oberlin College, Ohio.

Sometimes I hated being right, even as my collaborator in my new life grinned wickedly.

I’d met The Professor for breakfast at this small café on campus, which he insisted was not part of our bet. Still, as much as I appreciated our conversations, this dark enjoyment of my unresolved obligation was irritating.

“Karen, Karen, Karen. “ he finally said, playfully crinkling a copy of my notes in his hands. For all his polish, sometimes this fierce intellect displayed the subtle humor of a randy teenager. “Apart from the special pictures, you really did exceed all my expectations. You didn’t, by the way, take photos of your maiden voyage? So to speak. “

“And here I was. “ I sighed into my cappuccino. “Hoping you’d be the least bit sympathetic. I found Karen a love-life, reconnected her with an old friend … “

“You’re right, I apologize. “ tittered the mature man like a ribald school boy. “But I think you misunderstood this whole exercise. Your Mr. Zachary might do, in a pinch, as something more than a shipboard fling. It is, however, far easier to confuse Sex with Love, no matter how nice your toy boy might be … “

“Hey! “

“Again, I’m sorry. Despite the fact that you leapt into the sack, with all the sincerity of a wanton school girl, you did straighten up in the end … or was it William‘s Willy? “

If ever there was a doubt as to my gender, I did it proud with a lightning quick slap of that smug male face.
Perhaps Carl would’ve slugged him. Maybe another woman might have done more. But The Professor have given me a secure base to work from. For that I was forever grateful.

“Ok, I had that coming. “ the corrected scholar conceded cheerfully, impressed by my passion while rubbing the scarlet hand print of my displeasure. “Though what’s important is that you preserved what mattered most to you … Karen Klein. I think she’d be pleased … “

“Oh, I’m sure she would.“ I countered haughtily, annoyed by his frivolity. “In fact she told me so. Twice.“

I knew The Professor hadn’t gotten that far in my narrative, so the change in his once superior countenance felt like Payback.
Of course he only gave a little, the shock quickly changing to thoughtful speculation. Even so, he was intrigued by these phantom feelings I’d felt aboard Amore del Mare II.

“I can’t absolutely say this means what you think it does. “ He cautioned, though more as gentle counsel. There was something more …. A layer I couldn’t quite read. “Still, I trust your instincts about this. Your Woman’s Intuition? I believe you’re on the right track. “

“So, I just keep on as I have been? “ it never failed, this mix of relief followed by frustration. “What about our innocuous Incubus? Who is he? And how does he figure into all of this? “

“Given the vagaries in the descriptions, it’s clear I have a lot of research ahead. If you really need to know, that is. “ The Professor ventured rather obliquely, yet another test from this unlikely mentor.

“It’s really for Tanya. “ I admitted. “But it’s not like we have a time table. “

“Speaking of that. “ The Professor segued with a fresh twinkle in his eye. “Are you ready to admit defeat? In our little bet? “

“Oh, that. “ I temporized, coyly pretending I hadn’t been thinking about it all along. “I have a itsy-bitsy request though. I’d like to choose where we go? “

His eyes narrowed in congenial suspicion, sensing a trick but curious to see what I had in mind. “So long as it isn’t someplace Karl would have gone, nothing too masculine. And you have to dress up. “

“This is to help your eventual transubstantiation, after all … “ the man added, quite insincere.

“Trust me. “ I smiled sweetly.

Aug 7th
Akron, Ohio

I admit my motives were two-fold as we stood on the doorstep to my family home. The Professor kept flashing me sour looks, though I think inside he cheered my deception.

As an only child in both my incarnations, I hungered for all the love my new parents could give. Every moment spent with Gail … even as her daughter, it made up for all those missed years in that other form.

“You do clean up nice. “ He teased, taking my hand which I accepted without guilt. I’d put an extra effort in my makeup, even got my hair feathered at the salon for the occasion.

Mindful of Mom’s earlier critique I’d picked a nice azure satin blouse, a fitted matching dark blue skirt, slit discreetly from calf to lower thigh. I knew that my date appreciated it, and even trying to make him squirm, I felt cherished and protected.

As much as I cared for William, it wasn’t like I was planning to sleep with The Professor. Was it?

Almost as I thought this, that sense of bliss returned, still only the faintest suggestion of a presence. But it was definitely more pronounced, acting as a navigator or copilot. I couldn’t help but giggle at an old adage which made The Professor raise an eyebrow in curiosity.

“I’ll tell you later. “ I promised, feeling more confident in my choices. Daniel opened the door and I found myself engulfed in his firm embrace. All the while The Professor grinned wickedly, which I ignored, focused instead at my newfound warmth.

For whatever the Future threw at me, I had Karen’s blessings to see me through.

The End?