Last week J. Crew caused some controversy with an Ad they ran portraying a mother painting her son's toenails pink. One of the commenters stated/asked "Why would I paint my son's nails?" I couldn't help myself, but answer them with a story.
This is fiction that was inspired by the above. Thanks to Cathy for her edit and as always her friendship.
By
Grover
Maria looked up from the fresh coat of neon pink polish she’d just brushed onto her toenails. She enjoyed the little touches that made her feel feminine despite all the demands on her time as wife, mother, and everything else expected of a woman of the 21st century.
Shyly her six year old son Josh was peeking around the corner of the door. He was old enough to understand that interrupting her while bathing was not a good thing, but she was dressed now. She was now on the, hmmm, finishing touches.
Her smile let him know it was all right to come in.
The way his face lit up grinning as he bounced in made her want to take him in her arms and laugh her joy to the world. That smile was just one of the wonderful things about being a mother. Sure all too soon she would get a sullen teenager, but she would always have these memories.
“What cha’ doing Mommy?” Josh asked his pug nose winkling from the smell of the nail polish.
“I’m painting my nails.” She wondered where this had come from since he’d seen her paint her nails before. Taking the applicator she carefully began painting her left hand’s nails.
He watched her as she finished with her pinkie finger.
“Your pinkie finger is pink,” he giggled wide eyed. And then more serious he asked, “Why?”
Maria knew without a question what he really wanted to know.
“I paint my nails so I can look pretty for Daddy when we go out tonight.” She told him with another smile.
Her heart glowed at his silly ‘I thinking’ expression as he thought about it. Then he broke out into another wide grin.
“Can I be pretty too?” He asked, wiggling his little fingers at her.
She found herself having to freeze her smile in place surprised at his question. Long practice had shown how he could misinterpret things sometimes. However that didn’t keep her thoughts from racing wild. Was her son gay or one of those kids who had gender problems? And any number of other crazy ideas.
Looking into his eyes, she decided to treat this exactly how it looked. A curious, smart boy saw his mother doing something and wanted to do it too. Just like he tried to help with the laundry by pushing the dirty clothes basket, or the greasy mess he made helping his Father in the garage.
“You can,” she replied, “But you do know that boys don’t paint their nails? They can get teased like your cousin George did after his haircut.” Maria reminded him of everyone’s reaction to the curly blond hair. Sure her sister-in-law had the kid in one of those children’s beauty contests, but that ‘do’ was really over the top. That curly blond mop as cute as it was, still got poor George teased till he was in tears.
Josh’s eyes got big again. He obviously didn’t like the idea of being made fun of, but then he looked at her toes. She could almost see the wheels turning inside.
“Can I just do my toes,” he asked. “Then no one could see.”
“But then no one would know you were being pretty,” she replied.
She watched him think hard about it again and saw as he came up with an answer.
“We would know!” Her son nearly squealed in happiness.
“Are you absolutely certain,” Maria asked very seriously.
Just as solemnly he nodded.
Picking him up and setting him on her dresser she got to work. His little toes were so small, each just needed a drab of polish. Looking up, she could see Josh intently following her every move in the way only a child could.
“There all done.” She touched the tip of nose making him giggle. “Now you have to wait for it to dry. If you smudge it or get polish on something else, they won’t be pretty.”
They both heard the backdoor open and close.
“I’m home,” her husband bellowed.
“Daddy’s home!” Josh jumped down and ran out.
Hoping he wouldn’t get polish on anything, she began finishing getting ready. A nuzzle on her neck sensually informed her, Dave had escaped Josh’s enthusiastic welcoming home.
“Why hello there handsome,” she purred.
“Hello yourself,” he lovingly growled back. “This may seem like a strange question, but why does our son have pink toe nails?”
Twisting around to face him, she told him what happened, and added, “Besides I seem to remember the first time we met, you were wearing not only nail polish, but lipstick and eyeliner too mister.”
Looking hurt, he defended his masculinity. “But it was black and not pink. It was heavy metal concert. I wasn’t trying to look pretty. I was looking cool,” he said, striking a pose convinced of his infallibility.
“You were pretty.” Huskily Maria stared into his eyes.
“I was?” His face fell.
“In a cute Goth kinda of way.” She smiled.
“Oh darn!” He said disappointingly.
“Why do you think I married you?” She teased him.
“Really?” He asked more confidently.
“Really,” Maria replied with finality.
After they kissed, he asked, “Seriously though, what do you want to do about this?”
“You’re going to trust me to handle this?” she asked him.
“You were there, I wasn’t. And yes I do trust you. Why do you think I married you?” He asked.
“Well,” She said, “Unless he makes a habit of wanting me to paint his nails or wants me to do something else for him, I’m inclined to forget about. Kids imitate adults. That’s how they learn. If he does want more, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. As for you, keep doing the father/son things you’ve been doing. How does that sound?”
“Good to me.” He said smiling. Then mischievously, he added, “You know I think we have all our old clubbing wear upstairs in the attic.”
“What are you suggesting?” She asked pretending to be shocked.
“Well, after we get back from dinner, the baby sitter should have Josh already in bed,” his voice trailed off suggestively wagging his eyebrows.
“But I don’t have any black lipstick for you,” she complained. “But I do have this.” Maria held up the tube of hot pink lip gloss to his dismay.
The doorbell rang. Josh ran in breathlessly. “Babysitter is here!”
He ran out as his parents laughed behind him.
“Well, shall we?” Her handsome husband asked holding out his arm for her.
“Let’s.” Maria smiled accepting his offer.
Comments
Thanks Grover,
ALISON
'but I think that you have started something here.As always,very good.
ALISON
Hmm...
Makes me wish I knew what the advert/commentary was about... but cute anyway...
JC
The Legendary Lost Ninja
The J. Crew Ad
It was a cute, harmless ad that the raging loonies of the self-appointed christaliban decided to object to, and Fox (a.k.a. Faux) News decided to weigh in on.
Not to be missed is Neil Steinberg's commentary on the subject. [CLICK HERE]
Whoops!
I meant to add the link to the story, but got in a hurry and forgot. Thanks Pippa for taking up my slack. :)
Hugs!
Grover
Thanks...
Thanks for the links found some interesting thoughts... and some strange ones...
Best quote was: "Sometimes pink nail varnish is just pink nail varnish..." which I think just about sums it up... :)
JC
The Legendary Lost Ninja
Why would I paint my son's nails?
He's curious. Just because a boy chooses to wear a girls costume for Halloween shows that the boy wants to explore his options and identity.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
cute
a sensible mom, an understanding dad. If their son does turn out to be trans gender, he/she could do worse.
Dorothycolleen
Good story Grover! I hope
Good story Grover! I hope when I have a wife and kids (if I can get a girl that is) she reacts the same way. Of course rather than meeting me in goth wear she may meet me in crossplay or lolita...
-Scotty
Life would suck if it weren't so entertaining sometimes.
Life would suck if it weren't so entertaining sometimes.
I'm not sure.
I think I'm a little bit annoyed that J. Crew seems to be trying to jump on
the 'My Son want's to wear a princess dress' (Anything for a buck), but I'm
equally surprised that a mom goofing off with her son would even lead to the
discussion of gender identity - let alone the controversy.
Perspective. Odd how you don't think about it all that much, until someone
looses it completely. At least it is a further proof that acceptance is usually
a much better solution than the average fare of gnashing teeth and thumping
chests.
Sarah Lynn
Sorry.
Sorry, I just realized that I was so annoyed at the real world stuff,
that I forgot to comment on the story. It is well done, Grover, and
perhaps the best and nicest thing to come out of this silliness. My
only excuse is, that I was so busy painting my toenails. Good work,
Grover. Please excuse the oversight.
Sarah
There's a great response
There's a great response to this from the The Daily Show (Jon Edwards)... that pretty much sums up my reaction to it.
Add:
And someone asked for a link so: Toemageddon 2011
Excellent!
I'm not always a Jon Stewart fan, but that was wonderful!
Janice
Kool
A big thanks to everyone who's commented. Many has said much better than I how they felt about all the negative reactions to the J Crew ad. Me, I had to tell a story.
As for Jon Stewart, I hadn't seen that! Wow, thanks for the link. After listening to some of the doomsayers, it reminded me of something I heard in a science program from way back in the nineties. They were finally pulling their heads out of the ground and admitting that 'tabula rasa' (Blank Slate) was wrong. That nurture is only part of the equation. Nature also has its part in deciding how we act and behave.
Listen to those, errr, people. They truly believe, at least in front of the camera, that incidents like painting a kid's nails will change his gender orientation. It's the same line that was given years ago when the same kind of people wailed that kids rasied in gay households would turn gay themselves. Hmmm... didn't happen did it?
In that Science program, might've been Nova, the chief talker sighed and said, "No one is really going to happy with just how much nature plays in deciding who we are and how we behave." This was the study on the twins raised apart from each other and how strangely their lives were alike. Country folk would just say "Well, the acorn didn't fall far from that tree." or "Blood always tells." They might not had known why but given the practical working knowledge of animal breeding on farms and ranches, they knew it was so.
As I ramble on here I wonder how much of it is fear. After all we fear what we can't control. Nurture vs Nature means that while we have imput into our children's future and behavior we can't control it. If they're gender variant then they are, just like they're straight, gay, or bi.
What it does mean, is that some children will be allowed to be curious and creative, things that are learned in early childhood, while others will be punished for daring to cross arbitrary lines drawn in the sand.
As wisdom can tell any fool, control of any sort is only an illusion.Don't let your fears destroy the most precious of gifts. Love and cherish your children.
hugs!
Grover
Toemageddon it is^^
I don't know what to say to this crap. The only problem is, that the boy was put in the media and if his peers would see that ad sometime later they would probably bully him.
But now, the american media made an elephant out of a fly.
Well told story grover, can't wait for the next of yours :D
FREAKN' good and cute tale, Grover
So sweet, funny, thoughtful and sexy/loving.
What great parents the child has.
John in Wauwatosa
P.S. I THINK he will soon have brother or sister on the way after how mom and dad talked about going to a concert in their old clubing gear.
Euh! Yucky parent sex!
-- grin --
But then I always get something special from your pen, um, keyboard, Grover.
Or do you use voice recognition software?
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Nice, loving and just as simple as that.
Like most stuff in the news there was too much made of this and you pulled this back to where it should be.
Bailey Summers
Great story
Grover great story. I loved it. I am so proud of Jon Stewart, for me he is a local boy made good. He graduated my High School three years before me. I think I saw him in a few of the school plays. That is my near brush with fame. lol.
I sort of remember one of my
I sort of remember one of my sisters putting clear polish on my fingernails. I don't think anyone ever knew but us.
Because He Asked Me to Do It
I saw the ad and read a lot of the comments for it. It was so sad to see how disapproving some people were, but it was nice to see how many were either supportive or didn't care.
Thanks and kudos.
- Terry
pink toes
Nice story.................thank you..............
What i see is a mother bonding with her child............sharing a moment. This is not wrong. I will cheer that mother on as well as any others...............oh oh sorry gotta throw this in.........Faux News.....when are they gonna go outta bussiness.. I hope its soon. Sorry about the last part.
This so cute Grover.
But will this continue or is this a one shot deal? Anyway, it is a very cute story and children his age start to experiment with "mommy's" clothes to see how they feel. Thank you for sharing.
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
These Little Piggies
A sweet, beautiful story that needed to be written. Like many here, I listened to the apocalyptic
warnings about that ad and its supposed implications for society with my jaw hanging open:
Oh ...... my ...... God ..... They're insane ...... They're all completely f^<&ing NUTS!!!!
But what's weird is how all the outcry about that cute picture is coming from the same
few experts all working for the same propaganda organ, trying to create an outcry...
Reminds me of what William Randolph Hearst supposedly said a century or so ago:
"You supply the pictures, I'll supply the war..."
~hugs, Veronica
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
The Worst Of It...
...were the yapping hounds of the infotainment business, who smelling controversy, whipped it for their audiences. The local news shows, major network morning shows. Piranhas swarming around a mouse. Such a waste of energy, but that's what the advertisers pay them for. Anger, inflame, confuse your audience, and then show them a nice, pleasant ad that they're now more likely to remember.
There is scientific evidence that memory is amplified by adrenaline. (For some years now, medical research on the flip side has found some success treating PTSD by suppressing the effects of adrenaline, to "fade" the traumatic-dream-memory-cycle.) Advertisers look for ad-dollar efficiency, beyond simply counting eyeballs and demographics. If getting the viewers' hearts pumping a little faster will sell more crap, then that's what they want. Advertising is a huge-money industry with lots of paid professionals hired to advise, direct and tweak the efforts. The FCC banned subliminal advertising back in the '60s, but the industry has found even more effective tools. You don't have to be a cynic to see this. That's the business they're in.
It would be kind to call them amoral. It's pretty clear to me that it's actively immoral -- bending and twisting the public discourse for purely pecuniary purposes.
For Crying outloud
Kids will be kids nothing wrong with this. He was litterly being courous nothing wrong with that, his foathe was doing th heavy mettal bit when he as younger the whole goth thing. & if the child wants to go futher with then then so be it treat him with the respect her desires & help him through it.
Love Samantha Renee Heart
Love Samantha Renee Heart
Thanks!
As always thanks for all the comments! :) Like I've said before, for whatever reason, these people do not believe that nature as any part in Nature vs Nurture. To them it's all Nurture and Nature has no part in it at all. Which is damn silly, but you have only to look at their comments under the story to get that. Like absolutely everything that makes Life itself possible it's a balance.
I once heard a pastor go off the deep end about the phase, "That's just the the way I am." To him, that said the person wasn't, couldn't change things about themselves. As he put it, it was doctrine that all people could change, and in his eyes, must change. Perhaps the whole Nature thing seems like an excuse to some people. To a point I agree with the pastor about change. If there is something we don't like about ourselves then we do need to do something about it. However I'm pretty sure we disagree about the things that need to change. :)
Perhaps it's about control too, but I've already stood on my soapbox about that.
What's it's really about is supporting your child as they explore the world. Each is potentially the next world leader, scientist, or who knows what else. Given love and gentle guidance help them find their path. Don't live out your life though them. You had your chance, and now here is yours to help them find theirs.
Hugs!
Grover
Love and all that!
“You’re going to trust me to handle this?†she asked him.
“You were there, I wasn’t. And yes I do trust you. Why do you think I married you?†He asked.
Bottom line...always. I think that my coming out was one more example of how we trust each other; even if it took a while to show it regarding that issue. Simply a wonderful tale about a loving family who will raise their child in the light and warmth of that trust they have nurtured and grown. Thanks for this; it makes my day!
Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena
Love, Andrea Lena
Absolutely Andrea!
First thanks for all the comments, again. :) As for trust, always. That's one of the linchpins of any relationship. It wasn't until I finished the story that I realized some things about Josh's parents. One is that they were young professions with their first child. Two, that they both were in a group that is often thought of as godless. Ie... they listen to that heathen heavy metal music. Three, the husband didn't fly off the handle jumping to conclusions when he got home. Even more to the point, Josh was very excited that Daddy was home and ran to greet him.
They fit in that demographic that most far righties wouldn't regard as good parents. It isn't because they don't believe in physical punishment, but because of their parenting method/style it isn't necessary.
Thanks for the comments again. I think this must be near the most I've ever gotten for a story.
Thank you All!
Hugs!
Grover
Why would I paint my son's nails? Jon Stewart
Funny thing is that Jon Stewart is a conservative who is saying that it is simply a mommy and son sharing a moment while the more liberal minded seem to want to crucify them
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
I believe you have that backward?
Jon Stewart is a self-confessed moderate Democrat who occasionally if not frequently leans left of center. Not a conservative by any stretch of the imagination. And more the more liberal folks you describe in a broad sense would be most likely to embrace a family who encouraged their child to express himself in that manner. Crucify is such a harsh word; especially when describing a political movement that in the cases of gender and orientation is inclusive rather than divisive, wouldn't you say?
Cute story!
Cute story!
--Mixed RL Comments----------------
Because the moron's think it's catching. Not to mention all rest of what they think.
It's just a kid being a kid. Cute picture.
And why the hell can't a boy be pretty in the first place if he wants too be?