Chapter 12

My future as Emily

I had to take a deep breath and read through the message from mum several times before I was able to take in its full meaning. It was implying that I’d be able to stay as I was for the whole summer, as long as Aunt Carol was agreeable. But why was it that my fortuitous adventure had come as no great surprise to her? I was puzzled by her comment, but it would have to wait until I had a chance to talk to her? In the meanwhile, I’d various things to arrange. After taking a few minutes to settle myself I decided to telephone Aunt Carol.

‘Hi, it’s Emily. I’ve just had an email from Mum; she says I can wear whatever I like as long as it does not embarrass you.’

‘I know, she copied it to me. She also rang me last week to ask my opinion. I told her of my anxieties but also how nice you looked last Sunday and what a convincing young woman you made,’ she replied.

‘Thank you, Aunt Carol that was kind of you to say so. Jenny’s mother is now asking whether Clare and I are available to work next week.’

‘So what do you want to do?’ she asked.

‘I think you already know that I’d like to stay working as Emily for as long as I can. I believe there will probably be work available.

‘Are you saying that you also want to remain living as a girl full-time for the next four weeks,’ she asked.

‘Yes, I suppose I am,’ I answered. ‘It isn’t really practicable to be a girl part-time - not if I’m going to do it properly.’

‘But why would you wish to do so?’

‘Because I’ve been having so much more fun as Emily than ever I had before as Chris.’

She thought for a moment before replying.

‘I’ve no objection to your continuing working as Emily again for the next week, if you wish. However, before I agree to your spending the remainder of the summer as a girl I want to have a chat with you. I want be sure that you will be able to manage as Emily on your own, without your cousins or your friend helping you. I also want to find out a little more about this job you are doing,’ she said.

‘Mum’s already spoken to Joyce about the job, and is quite happy,’ I replied.

‘Maybe but I’d still like a chat when I get home on Sunday afternoon, before I agree,’ she said.

‘Alright then Aunt Carol,’ I answered not wishing to antagonise her.

‘Your mum has transferred some money for you to buy some new clothes. Would you be able to manage until I see you on Sunday?’

‘Yes, that’s ok I’ll have some of my wages if necessary.’

‘What are you planning to buy?’ she asked.

There seemed to be no point in pretending to her, particularly as mum had given me permission.

‘I thought I might ask one of my cousins to come shopping with me to buy myself a new skirt and jacket that I can wear when I go to see Mum in Birmingham the week after next,’ I said.

‘So are you intending to travel down to Birmingham dressed as Emily,’ Carol asked.

‘Yes, I think it is time she met Emily and I get the impression that she would not object to my doing so.’

‘I’d be a little anxious about a fifteen-year-old girl travelling so far on her own,’ she said.

‘I travelled up ok,’ I argued.

‘Yes and lost your suitcase in the process. Also it is different for girls, they are more at risk than boys,’ Carol explained.

‘I’d promise to take care and to ring you as soon as I get there. In any event I’ll be sixteen in a fortnight, and Clare and Anne both said that I look several years older as Emily. ‘You also told mum that I looked really convincing when you saw me last Sunday?’

‘Yes, I know, but then you had the help of Jenny with your hair and makeup. I want to be sure you can manage to be just as convincing on your own.’

‘Most of the time I put on my own makeup and style my hair when I get ready for work during the week. It’s almost become second nature to me, but if you like, I’ll prove to you that I can look nice on my own.’

‘How will you do that?’

‘I’d like to organise a small dinner party next Sunday evening, to thank everyone for their help and encouragement, if I may I’ll prepare and serve the food and also get myself dressed and ready, to prove to you I can do so without any help, and convince you that I can manage perfectly well as Emily.’

‘Who, would you like to ask to this dinner?’

‘There would be yourself and my three cousins, also Clare’s friend Jenny and her mother. She could tell you about the work I’ve been doing.

‘So you intend it to be an all-female gathering?’

‘Yes I suppose so, if as you are willing to count me under that heading,’ I said. ‘If everyone present agrees that I make a convincing woman, will you let me stay as Emily for the rest of the summer?’

‘We’ll have to see, but you can go ahead and organise your dinner party, as long as you promise to wear your evening dress for me.’

‘Alright then, on condition that all the other guests agree to dress up as well,’ I said.

So it appeared that I’d one further week to convince Aunt Carol as well as Mum that I was doing what was best for me.

It was often difficult for me to contact Mum by telephone as she moved about a lot and was often in meetings. I therefore replied to her email.

Dear Mum,

Thank you so much for your lovely understanding message. I was worried that I might have shocked or disappointed you, which is why I did not tell you about Emily straightaway. However, I have continued to have a good time working as a waitress over the last week and I hope to be able to persuade Aunt Carol to let me remain as I am for the duration of my visit, when she returns home on Sunday. If I’m successful, I’ll use the £300 to buy myself something nice to wear when I meet you at Birmingham. I hope you will be pleased with Emily when you meet her. She’s really looking forward to seeing you and to hearing all about the trip.

With much love, from your new daughter,

Emily.

I was due to go into work mid-morning on Friday and so was able to confirm to Joyce that I’d be able to work for her the following week.

‘How would you feel if I were able to work for you every week until the beginning of September,’ I asked.

‘That would be fine by me, as long as your mother and aunt are quite happy about it. I’m likely to have plenty of work for the three of you,’ she replied.

‘In that case would you be willing to come to a meal at my aunt’s house on Sunday evening, so you can re-assure her that I can cope with the work alright? I hope that she’ll agree then to a more permanent arrangement.’

With a little further explanation Joyce agreed to come and even to dress up for the occasion.

Jenny and Clare were also delighted with the prospect that I might be able to continue working with them for the next few weeks.

‘I just need to convince Aunt Carol that I can manage as Emily and won’t always need one you two to help me to decide what to wear or how to deal with my makeup and hair. I’m planning a dinner party on Sunday evening where I intend to demonstrate my abilities to my aunt. I hope you will both come along and give me your support.’

‘Yes of course, Clare replied. ‘What can we do to help?’

‘First of all, let me first check to ensure that Karen and Anne can come, then we can make some plans.’

I telephoned my elder cousins to see whether they would be free on Sunday evening, and explained the reason for the proposed celebration, and they both agreed to come. As soon as we had finished clearing the lunches the three of us sat down together to draw up a menu and shopping list. Jenny suggested we should all go shopping together on Saturday morning to buy the necessary ingredients, but Clare was unable to come as she had arranged to see Geoff. So we went to a supermarket together after work and I bought most of what I’d need, except for the most perishable items, which I’d buy on Sunday morning. I also mentioned that my mother was giving me £300 to get some more clothes.

‘Emily, I’ve to go into town shopping for myself tomorrow. Why don’t you come with me and try on some clothes? Jenny suggested. ‘If you find something you like you could buy it as soon as you get the money from your mum.’

‘Yes, I’d like that. In fact I’ve nearly £200 of my wages left, so if we see anything nice there’s no reason why we shouldn’t buy it. That way I’ll have a real financial incentive to convince my aunt,’ I said.

‘I can lend you the extra £100 until you collect the money from Mum or you next get paid,’ Clare told me.

That evening, as I was getting ready for bed I checked my email and found there was a short response waiting for me from mum:

Dear Emily,

Thanks for the message. I was hoping that I’d be seeing you rather than Chris at Birmingham, but I did not want to make the suggestion. I too am looking forward to our meeting, and have lots to ask you. I always wanted to have a daughter as well as a son, now it looks as if I’ll have both.

Love from.

Mum.

I smiled, I now had something concrete from mum that I could show Aunt Carol if necessary. However, I would prefer to try and convince her by myself if I could.

Everything that I’d worn as Emily over the last fortnight had been second-hand so I was quite excited when Jenny came to take me clothes shopping. She was the ideal companion for such a task because she had an excellent visual imagination and dress sense. She took an enthusiastic interest in fashion and could always tell what would look good on an individual, and what items could be worn together. She arrived at 8.30am on the Saturday morning and I was still finishing my breakfast together with my three cousins.

‘What exactly are we looking for Emily? Is it something to wear at the dinner party tomorrow,’ she asked.

‘No, Aunt Carol wants me to wear the blue evening dress again, as long as I can continue to use these silicone boobs,’ I said.

‘They are yours to keep for as long as you need them,’ Karen replied, ‘at least until you have earned enough as a waitress to pay for a proper boob job.’

‘Please don’t make jokes like that when your mother’s around,’ I said.

However, the idea lodged itself in the back of my brain like a grain of sand in an oyster shell.

‘So what are we looking for today?’ Jenny asked, returning to her question.

‘I’ll need something to wear when I have dinner with my mother at the Birmingham Airport Hotel in ten days' time. I’ve no clear idea what to wear except that I want something smart to impress her which will not be spoiled by the train journey.’

‘In that case let’s take stock of the clothes you have and see what is missing,’ said Jenny.

The five of us trooped up to my bedroom where I lay out my entire feminine wardrobe on the bed.

‘You are not exactly spoiled for choice are you? But there are some nice clothes here - the mad American woman appears to have had quite expensive taste,’ Jenny said.

‘Yes I’m still discovering what goes well with what.’

After a few moments consideration Jenny announced: ‘I think you’ll need something fairly formal - such as a skirt suit with a couple of blouses that would co-ordinate - and maybe another pair of medium heeled shoes and matching handbag,’ she said. ‘You ought to have enough money to cover everything.’

‘You should also get yourself either a raincoat or an umbrella,’ Karen advised, remembering my last rail trip from Birmingham.

Clare had to go and get ready for her date, and Jenny and I were just about to leave to get a bus into town, but the other girls had no specific plans.

Anne turned to her older sister ‘This guest room is a little bit bare and lacking in imagination. Could we brighten up the décor to make it a little more appropriate now that Emily’s planning to stay with us full-time?’

‘It’s up to Emily, but if she wants us to, then I’m sure we could make it a bit more girlie,’ Karen answered.

‘The walls are already pink, isn’t that ‘girlie,’ enough,’ I asked.

‘No, the soft furnishings are rather neutral and non-descript for a teenage girl. I’m sure we’ve some more suitable ones in the store cupboard,’ said Anne

‘But there’s no guarantee that your mother will agree to my remaining as Emily, so hadn’t we better wait to find out first,’ I suggested.

‘Don’t worry, mum will have to get used to the idea of having you as Emily. Once she sees how good you are in the role, and is reminded of how attractive you look she’ll come round, particularly as the three of us are all on your side. I don't think she’ll mind if we brightened up the spare room,’ said Anne.

‘In that case a ‘Girlie,’ style of décor would be fine by me,’ I replied smiling, ‘at least for the next four weeks.’

‘We’ll see what we can do for you while you are out shopping this morning,’ said Anne.

Clothes shopping with Jenny was quite exhausting - but great fun. We both tried on a number of dresses and other outfits from several different shops and Jenny explained to me what it was about the colour or style of each that suited us or not. She had good taste and knew what would co-ordinate with the items already in my wardrobe. By the end of the day I had a much clearer idea of what suited me.

‘We’ll need to help you find an appropriate look to guide you as to the colours and styles you can wear. With a bit more practice you should develop a feel for what looks right on you. After all, you’ve only been dressing as Emily for a couple of weeks and many girls take years before they discover how to look their best.’

‘You always look very nice without it appearing as if you are trying too hard,’ I replied.

‘I’ll take that as a compliment,’ she said smiling. ‘However that does not mean I’m unaware of what I look like, I often give quite a lot of thought as to what I should wear.’

‘In that case I’ll leave the decision as to what I should buy in your hands,’ I said.

‘No not entirely! You’ll also want to enjoy looking good in what you are wearing, so your own opinions are just as important,’ she told me.

‘Alright but I would also appreciate some general guidance from you,’ I replied.

‘Your long hair and the fairly feminine styles you’ve been wearing so far seem to suit you quite well, but you need to wear lipstick and eye makeup to enhance your features and look your best,’ she advised. ‘Given your background and your need to develop feminine mannerisms as quickly as possible, it’d probably be better for you to avoid wearing trousers for the time being until you have had more experience of dressing as a girl.’

‘It seems as if everyone wants to make me as feminine looking as possible,’ I said.

‘What is the point of your dressing like an effeminate man? If you are going to live and work as Emily then you may as well do it properly and enjoy yourself in the process, particularly as you are now intending to go full-time,’ she added.

‘Yes, I know you’re right and I promise not to argue with your decisions,’ I said.

Among her other talents, Jenny had an excellent eye for a bargain so the £300 went a long way. We came away having bought an off-white suit with a crop jacket and a shorter length split skirt, together with matching handbag, high-heeled shoes and umbrella. I already had a couple of silk blouses which would go well with this outfit, and so I bought one other in cotton. There was sufficient money left over to buy another set of underwear, a nightdress and two pairs of tights. Finally, Jenny loaned me a further twenty pounds to get myself some more cosmetics and perfume. I’d now spent my next wages and would be in serious financial difficulties if I were unable to convince my aunt to let me repay the money from my mother’s cheque.

We arrived home in the middle of the afternoon laden with carrier bags. Karen and Anne had been busy changing the furnishings of my bedroom. They also moved in a dressing table with mirrors from the box room, and changed the curtains. They had now introduced a strong element of pink with co-ordinating floral curtains, a lampshade, bedspread and pillows with frilly borders. There was even a pale pink rug. There was a pile of soft toys in the corner and a vase of flowers on the window ledge.

‘Where on earth did it all come from?’ I asked.

‘This used to be the colour scheme for my bedroom when I was your age; the furnishings have been stored in the box room ever since,’ said Anne. ‘We thought they might help set the right tone for your new life.’

‘If you’re intending to spend the entire summer as a young woman then it's not enough for you merely to dress as Emily and work as a waitress; you’ll also have to learn to live and think as a female as well. The colour scheme will help, but everything you think or do or even read must henceforth reinforce your new identity,’ Karen told me. ‘I’m afraid we’ve confiscated your computer magazines and replaced them with some relating to teenage fashions.

‘Wow, you’re really keen for me to immerse me in femininity,’ I said. ‘However, I suppose you are right, if I’m going to live as Emily I should try to think and act like her as well.’

‘Exactly,’ said Karen, ‘it’ll be nice to be able to talk about girly things with you, so let us begin by having a look at your new purchases then.’

I showed them what we’d bought, and they both said we had made a good choice. The four of us spent the remainder of the afternoon helping me to organise my new room.