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Carrie’s Journey to Femininity
Chapter 1 The Encounter
Her tale is not a new one. The idea that she would grow up loving makeup and dresses instead football and jerseys is as much a mystery to her as to you the reader. It wasn't an accident that she was drawn satin and bows but a gradual evolution.
Unlike most boys his age Paul didn't like getting dirty and loved to read. He couldn't wait for next Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys come out in print. He secretly fantasized that he was Nancy out foil the plans of my latest foe and solve current mystery. He read the Hardy Boys and really tried to put himself in Frank or Joe's shoes, but Nancy's seem to fit better.
Besides mystery he also like the read the music tabloid's like Teen, Tiger Beat and others. He told myself that that reason he liked to read them was to find out about the music but he did find himself looking at the pictures and thinking how cute the lead singer of a band was this month. He never confided his secret to anyone until he met Amanda.
One day while he was perusing the stacks of books at the library his caught sight of a vision of loveliness. She had blond hair, and soft and creamy skin, a princess in the flesh. Paul paused and wondered whether he should approach and introduce himself to this unknown beauty. Walking up behind her, she was unaware of his approach. Coming up to her right shoulder he taps on it. Unaware of his presence and scanning a book in her hand, his sudden approach startled her and she dropped the book.
"I didn't mean to scare you, I just wanted to meet you," Paul said. That's ok the striking blonde responded. Continuing, she said, "My name is Amanda, I just moved here this summer, and don't know anyone in town, by the way I didn’t hear your name," Amanda said. Amanda couldn't put her finger on but something about Paul intrigued her. He wasn't built like an athlete but his slight build and average height made him attractive, “There is something about his eyes that makes him look hot,” Amanda thought to herself. Maybe he will ask me out and I can find what it is about him that turns me on,” Paul broke the silence and looked at Amanda, “Sorry I meant to introduce myself, my name is Paul. Well I'm glad to meet you Paul, Amanda said as she looks him over. He might be fun, she pondered to herself.
Paul, sensing an opening made his best pitch. "Since you are new in town and don't know anybody, I was wondering if I could show what it’s like in Lakeview America and to a nice restaurant to eat something," Paul said. "That would be nice, when you would like to go, Amanda responded with an air of anticipation in her voice. "How about tomorrow afternoon, we could make a day of it," he responded. "Sounds like a date she said taking a piece of paper and writing something down on it. Putting her pen in her purse she handed Paul the paper. Here is my cell number, call me about an hour early and I will give you directions to my house," Amanda said. "I got to pick up my Dad at work, see you tomorrow," Amanda said smiling at Paul. Amanda took her phone and Paul could see she was calling her father to let him know that she was on her way.
Paul’s heart raced with anticipation that soon he would know what it is to have a date with a beautiful girl. This was an experience that he had somehow missed out on because of his shy nature. He now wondered silently where they would go and what he should wear for this encounter. Paul took out his laptop from his backpack and switched on it. The library had wireless internet and he began to Google the topic, proper etiquette for the first date or how to avoid getting slapped by your date. Paul read intently the do’s and don’t of dating. Paul spent most of the afternoon reading about dating and was surprised when they announce that the library would be closing in 10 minutes.
After his research, Paul had a good idea how to approach his newest challenge.
He now knew that a person should not try look for more than a light peck on the cheek at the end of the first date. According to author, this gives the girl the opportunity a way to have a graceful exit if the date was not going well, it also gave her something to look forward to if the relationship continued. Paul got into his Mom's car and decided to head out to the Mall to check out clothes for his for his date with Amanda.
Entering the mall, he found a number of stores that carried the type of clothes that he needed. As he entered the youth store called the Gap, a young attractive girl approached him and asked she could help. Paul realized that this girl was a salesperson and he unburden himself about what he was seeking.
I've got just the thing for you, she said steering him to rack containing different styles of pants. As she rummaged through the rack, she would stop periodically and hand Paul something. Next she head to the shirts and found a number for him to try on. The changing room is over there, you can try on the threads and pick out the one's you like. If you want I can give my opinion on the outfits. I saw several that would look good on you. By the way my name is Anita finishing her speech.?
Paul entered the changing room and began to try the different threads as she called them. It looked as if he would be spending quite a bit of his savings on this makeover. Paul opened the door and pranced out to get the salesperson's attention. Miss, I think I have an idea of several pairs of pants and shirts, could I get her opinion, he said. Sure, Ann responding sensing her quota for the day might soon be met. After showing her several outfits, Paul said. Well what do you think and which one would look best for our first date. The black dungarees and the print shirt definitely caught my attention, any girl I know would be comfortable with a guy dressed in those threads, she said.
Paul took out his debit card, paid for the packages and picked them up off the counter. Paul left the store and headed out to the car with his bundles. Reaching the parking lot he opened the door and put the bundles on the passenger side of the car. Paul looked at the bundles and thought to himself, “I think Amanda will like this look, no more nerdy Paul,” he said to himself. Leaving the parking lot Paul headed home. His mother and dad would be home by now and he couldn't wait to tell them about Amanda. Reaching his neighborhood Paul turned down his street and pull into the driveway.
After turning off the engine, got out of the car and went around to the passenger door and opened it. He picked up the packages in the seat and carried them into the house. Paul's mother pear out from the kitchen and waved at Paul saying “Dinner will be ready shortly,” Paul, tell your dad to wash up. Paul walked into the living room and set his packages down and looked toward his father. “Hi, dad how did your day go.” Hi Paul, just fine and yours, you look like you are about to burst.
“I had a great day, dad,” Paul bellowed excitedly, “While I was studying at the library, I met a girl that was cute and had a personality and I asked her for a date and she accepted.” “Well looks like you bought out the store to impress that young lady,” his dad said. Let’s see what you bought, mother come looked what Paul have spent his money on.” What he has bought now, she said walking into the room. Looing at his purchases his mother looked up at Paul, “Those look really nice, you didn't pick them out by yourself did you?” “No the sales girl gave me her opinion,” “I think these are great looking clothes don't you,” Paul said beaming. Definitely a change for sure his dad piped in. Well let's eat, Paul's mother said. Paul ate quickly and head to his room.
Turning on his computer, Paul set down to check his email. Looking through his email, he found the usual spam and junk mail, looking down the list he found an email from a name that was not Amanda69.com familiar to him. Opening the mail, there was a note with a link. It simply said . Opening the link Paul recognized the face of the girl on the web page. It was Amanda scantily clad in various stages on undress. The pictures showed her in brief bikinis and lingerie. It was apparent to Paul, that his sweet little Amanda was not as innocent as he thought. After reading some of the blogs on the site, he came upon a blog that was meant for him.
Paul, I know our meeting was short but I sent this link to my private website. This doesn't mean that I am easy. I am looking for long term relationship with a nice guy and after meeting you I felt that you have potential. My last relationship turned out bad. This girl was attracted to me and I to her, we had relationship but when I wanted to break off when I found out we were moving she took it badly and threatened to hurt herself and me. Finally my parents put an ended to affair and told my lover that they would preferred charge if she didn't stop. She has left me alone since then and we moved here. You know the rest of the story and I hope that you will still like me.
I set there not knowing what to do or say. Apparently, Amanda wanted to get to me know better and had opened up her soul. Grabbing my phone, I glanced at the clock, 8:30. It is still early enough to call her. Paul rummaged through his pocket and picked up the number and dial the phone. Hi, Amanda it's Paul are you busy. “No, I just finished my homework and was reading a magazine, what's up,” Amanda said. I just got your email and the link was a surprise, especially the photos. When do I get to see the real thing, Amanda?
Later lover, she said giggling. Before you ask Becky and I were intimate. I'm not proud of it and don't know whether I could happen again. Right now I just want to enjoy my time with you. Listen, Mom and dad went to a dinner party, can you come over, and I’m lonely and scared by myself. Ok , I can come over for a while. “See you in a bit,' bye Paul said. Hurried Paul hurriedly changed clothes. Looking in the mirror, he adjusted the collar on his shirt. He picked up the keys and check to see if his parents had gone to their bedroom. Listening he heard the noise from the TV and knew they were watching it in the bedroom.
Backing the car and he called Amanda's number on his cell. After a couple rings the phone was answered, Paul spoke first, Amanda, how do I get to your house,” Paul said. “It is on the road just past the High School. Third house on the left,” she added. Turning the corner, Paul found the house and pulled into the driveway. Amanda opened the door and looked at Paul. She was definitely impressed by his new clothes. “You look hot lover,” Amanda said.
Paul could see that Amanda was wearing short terry shorts and a mid top and more makeup than today in the library. As Paul came through the door and Amanda's embraced him. She initiated a long erotic kiss with Paul, which made him tingle inside. Backing away, Amanda looked at him saying, “I need to know if I can be satisfied with a guy. I have thought this over and have strange request from you, Paul.” she said. “There was something about you that attracted me and I finally figure it out. It is your demeanor and your body. You would make a perfect girl,” Are you shocked by what I said Paul, I will understand if you don't want to see me again.
Paul looked at her and considered her request. Why would she want a boy dressed up in girl’s clothes. He knew that he could pull this off, but how could he justify not telling Amanda that this was not the first time he had dressed up, Paul decided he would cross that bridge when he came to it. He decide for now he would just let Amanda take control and he would look bewildered.f. Carrie looked at Amanda, who looked very serious as she stood in the living room doorway. Ok, I guess I'm game, what you want me to do. Thank you, everything is ready she said. First go into my bathroom, everything you need is there. Paul walked up the stairs unsure about what was next.
Entering the bathroom, Paul found a razor, a can of shaving gel and bottle of flowery smelling body lotion and a note. As he opened the curtain a tub there was a tub that was filled with bubble bath. Stripping down Paul slipped into the warm tub after picking up the shaver and the gell. While he soaked he began to shave the hair on his legs, arms and chest until his body was free of body hair. Next he began shaving the meager hair on his face. Finishing his chore, Paul climbed out of the tub. His skin felt soft and smooth. Sitting down in the wardrobe chair he began to rub the body lotion on his legs, arms and chest. When he finished stood up nude. Looking into the full length mirror he look at his smooth and shiny body and picked up the red bikini's that Amanda, had left him to change and put on the matching robe tying the belt. After one last look he opened the door and found Amanda waiting for him. “Come, sit here,” she said and motioned for him to sit down at the makeup table. As she applied the different types of makeup she explained each step to Paul and pointed out how much of this and how much of that he should use if he did it next time on his own.
Paul looked upon the transition with interest, see his immature male features disappear, being replaced with those of a teenage girl. He was amazed at the transformation, as male he had always looked a little effeminate and wimpy but as a girl, as she was now changing him into; he was as the guys say hot. When she finished his hair and makeup, she went into the kitchen and came out with a needle and cube of ice.
Looking at the items that she was now holding, Paul was curious asked Amanda “What is that for,” “Just a little feminizing,” she retorted. Now just hold still. Placing the ice against my right ear, I felt the sting of first the cold ice and then of the needle as she carefully poke two holes in that ear. Next she move to the other ear and repeated the process.
Opening her purse, she produced a match set of diamond studs one large and other one a little smaller. She handed the box containing the gems to Paul, who stood with mouth agape. “I can’t take these, their worth a fortune and look like antiques’” he said. “Where part of my inheritance when my Grandmother died,” she replied. “She was loaded, that is also where the money came from for my car,” But this is brand new, open the box a matching necklace and tennis bracelet also containing number of diamonds from the looks of them, Paul said to himself. Look at name on the bracelet Amanda said, looking into Paul’s eyes. Engrave on the bracelet was girls name’ Carrie’ . You look like a Carrie. “Here is your coronation gown, my queen, “ Amanda said. Finishing her speech, she reached into the bag on her bed, carefully she removed a long aqua dress that looked like a prom gown. Handing it to Paul, she said, “This is the christening of Carrie, my soul mate. May we never part.” Continuing her soliloquy, “Don’t let anyone tell you different, you make an awesome chick, and Carrie I think I love you.”
Turning her head toward his, she began kissing Paul/Carrie delicately. “You definitely do something for me now let me see dress I bought you Carrie.” Carrie carefully put on the under things that had been laid out on the bed and after finishing slipping into lingerie she unzipped the zipper and stepped into sparking aqua gown and pulled it over her waist. Suddenly Amanda appeared through doorway with box in one hand and spray bottle in the other. Here, she said “I almost forget this hand Carrie the box and the bottle.” Opening it she looked in the box, in it were two perfectly formed 36 C breast forms. Those were my aunt’s, she bought them after her mastectomy. When she bought those forms they were the best money could buy. Take off the dress and sit down so that I get forms on straight. Amanda looked at Carrie’s chest and held up the form. She carefully marked the position on his chest, making sure she got it right.. As Amanda marked the other form, Carrie shifted in her chair. “Be still Carrie, you want me to mess up, Amanda retorted. Finishing the marking, Amanda sprayed the adhesive on the forms waiting for it to set, Amanda looked at Carrie and smiled saying, I adore you Paul, you make me so happy. Carefully, using the marks Amanda applied the forms to Carrie chest. Carrie felt a slight tug from the forms and as she stood up understood what girls with large breast endure, feeling top heavy.
After waiting for the forms to set completely, Amanda took a bustier from her room and placed it against Carrie’s chest. As Amanda fastened the hooks, Carries breath shortened as Amanda fastening the last hook. This is going to be a little tight until you get use to it, she said. Going around to back and began tightening the laces. Amazingly, Carrie saw her body to develop an hourglass figure. Can you still breather, luv? Barely Carrie replied. Let’s see my girl in that gorgeous dress. Picking up the dress she helped Carrie into it and zipped up. Sitting down Carrie put on the matching high heels.
When she started to stand up and look in the full length mirror on the door, Amanda stopped her. “Not yet darling, let me touch up your hair. Taking the curling iron out of the drawer, Amanda began curl Carrie dark brown hair, thinking to herself how pretty hair that Carrie had for a boys. You ought to let me lighten your hair, Paul. Amanda said. Paul/Carrie thought to him self that is the first time that she has called me Paul. Is she really thinking I am or could be Carrie? Fanaticizing to himself, I don’t fit as a male, could I become a female. Even though tonight was the first time that he had considered every being female. What would Amanda think if she knew that I was even thinking about such a thing? Paul wondered and decide finished her hair he would get a chance to see the finished product. There Amanda said, Now you can see the masterpiece I have created. Taking her hand Amanda guide Carrie toward the mirror. Walla! Before her was a modern Venus. You and totally look like my sister. Paul struck a pose reminiscent of Natalie Wood or some starlet from the 60’s. He truly looked totally female and this amazed Paul. Now seemed the time to ask Amanda what see would think if she became female.
Amanda, don’t be alarmed if I ask you this question. Go ahead, I am prepared, I guess Amanda said. Carrie took a deep breathe and exhaled. How would you feel if I became a girl. I mean transitioned and became a young girl. Amanda spoke clearly pleased, “I would love you any way you choose to be, why do you ask that? Well, I have never fit in as a boy, being teased and such. “What would your parents think, they believe their son has a date with a nice little hottie,” Amanda replied. Paul thought to himself that he had not considered that. That would be a double dagger to his parents first they would have to deal with the issue of their son becoming their daughter and then having to deal with lesbian relationship with the same girl that was their former son’s girlfriend. Carrie spoke up, “I just want to be with you and you have convinced me that I fit as a girl, with a little tune-up surgery and hormones that I could truly your soul mate.”
“You would do that for me,” Amanda said. Taking Carrie in her arms and kissing her tongue to tongue. As they tightened their embrace, Paul felt her chest against Amanda’s bare breast, discovering she was not wear a bra under her shirt. He knew that she was ready and waiting for him to make the next move.
Looking at his body in the mirror, Paul looked up and down his body. He now possessed an hourglass figure and impressive cleavage from attached breast forms was exposed on his chest. As Paul looked at the image in mirror, he knew that no one would be able to tell he wasn’t a genuine teenage girl. Looking at Amanda, Carrie asked would you like to go to that all age’s club on Long Island. “I hear that both gay and straight kids in the area go to it. You could find something hot looking outfit to wear and we go as lesbian couple.” Sounds sweet, can I be the dominant one, Amanda said with a smile.
“What ever turns you on babe,” Carrie responded.
“I think I just created feminine monster. I think it would be fun, but what time do they close.” We have plenty of time they go from Sundown to Sunup, Carrie said. Let’s do it but, let’s go Goth. I bought some hot looking outfit at Hot Topic, both super short and totally sexy. But first I need you to make love to me. Just a quickie, I can’t wait for you to go down on me, get me hot and make love to me. Then we can shower and redo your makeup and I can put mine on.
Leading Carrie to the closet, Amanda browsed through her closet and found the outfits they were going to wear. This one is for you. Amanda handed Carrie the Mini shirt with band with red glitter on skirt and blouse was black with red trim and traced in the chest in red and silver glitter that message. “I am a hot and sexy babe,” Paul shook his head. Amanda looked at Carrie and simply said, “Well aren’t you.” Check this out, Amanda held up against her a short dress the deep v-neck definitely designed to emphasize her impressive bust. It was crimson red with the neckline and hem trimmed in black lace.
“I have scarlet red shimmering tights for you and red purse with white knee boots,” a la sixties mod Amanda said.
What have you got to got to cover those luscious gams of yours Amanda. “How about a pair of fishnets and patent leather black boots, Amanda said. Right all I want is your hot bod, between a set of hot pink satin sheets. Amanda began to kiss Carrie a she slowly removed her clothes. When she finished Carrie stood before topless and wearing her stockings, panties and her garter belt. Amanda browsed through the sexy nightgowns looking for the right ones for her and Carrie to wear. For Carrie, she selected a long white peignoir gown and for herself and sheer one with pink lace. Handing it to Carrie, Amanda said “I can’t wait for you to take me,” With that Amanda went into the bathroom to change. When she came back out of the bathroom, her look had totally changed, she looked the part of a sexy seductress in her black and pink nightgown. Under it she was wearing a matching lingerie with garters and hot pink stockings. While she had been waiting for Amanda, Carrie had gotten dressed, touched up her makeup and looked the picture of loveliness.
Amanda lay down on the sheets eager for her encounter with Carrie. Carrie eased down onto Amanda opening sliding down gown and taking her waiting breast into her mouth. Amanda sucked gently on the firm nipple of Amanda’s breast. Amanda moaned in pleasure and told Carrie to suck harder. After the intense foreplay and lovemaking; they both collapsed and fell into blissful slumber.
Carrie’s Journey to Femininity
Chapter Two Her Acceptance
Carrie stirred and awoke from her brief nap and saw that Amanda was still out after their encounter. Carrier/Paul wasn’t quite sure of how she felt, Amanda was an awesome sex partner, but the uncertainty of what lay ahead was confusing to Carrie. Even when she went through transition, she would not truly be female. Sure she would she be able to look for all purposes to be female. She would be able to perform sexually as a female, but she would still be male and only a life long regiment of hormones would make her all female without any residual male characteristics. Was it worth the health risk of hormones and pain of surgery. Carrie wasn’t totally convinced, not yet anyway.
Carrie nudged Amanda and she finally stirred and woke up. Amanda looked up at Carrie and smiled, “You were wonderful and make me so happy my darling.” Looking at her watch Amanda said, “Its getting late, to save time we will shower together and i’ll do your makeup and hair and then do mine while you get dressed. Oh, by the way those forms won’t come off when you shower; you have to use adhensive remover to dissolve that glue that holds them on. Carrie looked at Amanda and said, You do have the remover don’t you.” Amanda looked sheepishly at Carrie and replied, “I guess I forgot it.” “Well, where can I go, I definitely can’t go home like this,” Carrie said. “Don’t worry darling, I can get you a room for the night, just call your parents and tell them that you are staying with a friend tonight and you will be home after lunch,” Amanda said. “I guess that makes sense, but where are you going find a hotel that will rent you a room and where are you going to get the adhesive remover” Carried said worriedly. “I’ll take care of that,” Amanda said with confidence. “Now darling, I am going to turn you into a sex symbol, Amanda said while removing her heavily scented lingerie. “Take off that lingerie and get into the shower,” Amanda told Carrie.
Both bodies climbed into the spray from the shower after Amanda had covered Carrie’s and her hair with caps to keep their hair dry. Climbing out of the shower Carrie experience a new feeling. Her hairless body tingled as it dried. Amanda handed Carrie a bottle of floral scented lotion and told her to rubbed into her skin. “This stuff makes your skin feel wonderful after a warm shower,” Amanda said. Carrie could understand what Amanda was saying, it truly invigorated her. Taking of the bathing cap Carrie shook out her hair and sit down at the makeup table. Amanda slipped into a robe and handed Carrie one too. “This will keep you warm will I transform you into Delilah, goodness of beauty, Amanda said.
Amanda worked methodically on Carrie’s makeover, applied her makeup as she would soon her owned in a style that was worn for an evening out. When she finished Carrie’s makeup and hair she took a black studded chocker and put it and her other jewelry on. She had forgotton one thing when decided to do Carrie’s makeover, all her earrings required pierce ears. Amanda looked at Carrrie and told her, “We have one little problem, to finish the job.” “What is that ‘little’ problem Amanda,” Carrie said. Well, at seems that all my earring require pierce ears and yours aren’t, the plain and simple fact is that I need to pierce your ears,” she said. “Do what you need to do and I’ll worry about it later,” Carrie said in defeated tone.
Minutes later the job was done and Carrie had three piercings in each ear and
Amanda had select her prettiest earrings and told Carrie to finish getting dressed. Carrie carefully put on the fishnet stockings that Amanda had given her along with the matching black panties with red accents. Next she wrapped the bustier around her waist and took a very deep breath and secured the hook at the bottom and zipped up the front. The bustier definitely gave her an hourglass figure and bust was definitely accentuated, she thought to herself. “The only problem is that I can’t breath,” Carried said as she gasp for breath. Amanda looked at Carrie and said with a smile, “No pain no gain, now you know what dark little secret that all us gorgeous females never talk about.” “Beauty is an illusion, and drop dead gorgeous is work,” Amanda said.
Carrie quietly finished getting dressed. Putting a shirt she could see the more than ample cleavage was exposed by low cut neckline and the miniskirt definitely flatter her gorgeous legs. “Eat your heart out Brittany, I am as gorgeous as you are,” Carrie said..
Paul/Carrie had to admit there very little male left in what he say in the mirror and being held on a pedestal had its advantages. Amanda gushed of femininity as she walked into the room. “Ready luv,” she said in a mock british brogue reminiscent of a Mary Quaint, London lovely. “We shouldn’t have any trouble turning a few heads,” Amanda. She had transformed herself into a gorgeous vixen ready to pounce on some unsuspecting victim. The victims await and if he are lucky maybe we won’t be alone when we return.
Carrie looked at Amanda trying to see a sign that she was joking, but Amanda appeared to be serious. “I am not gay,” Carrie said looking at Amanda. “Carrie, I was serious when I said I was in love with Carrie, you seemed to enjoy it when I did it, she said. “What is the difference, a male penis or my toy. Sex Is sex,” she added. Paul
realize that Amanda wanted Carrie as her lover and Paul was just a means of getting what she wanted.
Carrie, I can afford to and will help you with transistion. I know now that its was softness and kindness that attracted me to you. You may be male on the outside but inside your all girl. As you can see for yourself, with bust enhancement, hormones and reassignment surgery that you could be a model, movie star or dancer. Let me release your inner beauty and match it with a feminine body to match your feminine personae. If you don’t want to have sex with a man right now, that is understandable. Perhaps I moved to fast for you and you just aren’t ready. With my dad’s help I have arranged for you to move in her with me. My parents aren’t crazy about the ideal, but we do have plenty of room and I also got my dad to get you a TG friendly OBGYN doctor and he will start you on hormones as soon as you agree. He also said since you were just a couple of months away from eighteen that he would make the necessary arrange for the reassignment surgery. Are you ready to become a woman?
Carrie knew that once she made the commitment there would no turning back, this was her chance to become something she had secretly wished for but thought she could never have. Since she was a child she knew that she was not like the other little boys. She didn’t like football or getting dirty and secretly played with her sisters Barbie’s when she wasn’t around. She had also on a number of occasions when no one was home dressed in her sisters clothes and used her makeup. Even during those furtive attempts of trying to look feminine she could see that she was almost a pretty as Ann her sister. Eventually Ann noticed that her makeup and clothes were being used and she confronted him about it. At first Paul denied, but finally admitted that he was the culprit. “Your just a little fag aren’t you, Ann quipped. “What makes you think that you have the right to ‘borrow ‘ my things’ without getting my permission, which in case that you are interested is going to be never,” she added. Furthermore, if I ever catch in my stuff I will go straight to dad and you know how he feels about homosexuals,” Ann said with an air of defiance.
Paul angered by her lack of compassion, confronted his sister and said, “In the first place I am not gay, and secondly place what gives you the right to criticize my and that he braggs about you give the best oral sex and how you like to have lifestyle, I happen to know that you have been active sexually with Jack your boyfriend intercourse at the drop of a hat.”
Ann, sensing the Paul could make trouble for her, deciding the maybe letting Paul have his own things would give her leverage and keep him quiet. “Ok, ‘sis’ maybe I was a little too judgmental, if you really want to dress in my stuff and wear makeup then let me go through the things that are to small for me and as long as you agree leave my panties, bras, pantyhouse alone and don’t bother my makeup, I will buy you some of your own lingerie and makeup which will be in a spot in dresser in a makeup box. Your panties, bras and hose and some other things I chose buy will be in chest by the bed. Mom, never bothers it and I will give a key of your own to get in there. Do we have a deal little sister.
Ann and Paul kept each others secret and when Ann left for college at the end of Paul’s freshman year. Paul’s foray into femininity ended, although when she would call the house and Paul would answer the phone; she would ask how Paula was doing. Ann knew that Paul missed their sisterly conversations, a couple of times when their parents were gone Ann and Paula would even go to the burger place and when her friends would ask her who the cute young teen was that was with her; proudly she would tell them it was her cousin who was visiting. A couple of times her friends even asked if her cousin was allowed to date and their little brother would like to take Paula to the movies. Ann, quickly pointed out the Paula’s would let her date yet and without their permission it would not be wise for her to let Paula go to movies. Paul/Carrie knew that she had to tell Amanda about his secret crossdressing before they met.
When Amanda tapped Carrie on the shoulder she returned from her daydream. Well gorgeous, now that were dressed to nine’s let’s show our wares. “Carrie, you look like hot, remember if I do find a hunk you can join us in ménage du trois if you choose, or if he has a friend do a little heavy petting. Just tell he that its your time of the month if he wants to go further. BTW, even though you can’t have surgery yet, you can get a boob job and adams apple reduction surgery any time if your game. All you have to do is have daddy’s lawyer draw up the emanicipation papers or tell your parents that have decided to have sexual reassignment surgery and everything has been taken care of for the surgery.
Amanda looked at Carrie and said, “Wouldn’t you love to have breast for me and others to suck on, I get turned just thinking about it. Carrie thought about her choices and said, “Amanda would you go see my parents with me, well at least my mom, she might understand, I know my dad will never understand why I would want to change myself into a girl,” Carrie said. “Sure I will go see them with you and what about Ann, how do think she will take her little brother becoming a girl. The kids at school said she was pretty vocal when it came to lesbians, and we would be lesbians after your surgery,” Amanda said after a pause. “Let me handle Ann, she has skeletons in closet and I know her fiancé Tom would love to hear the juicy details and I am sure that getting to know lesbians at college may have tempered her feelings toward them, Carrie said with confidence.
Carrie picked up her purse and made one last check of her makeup. Her fingernail and toe nails glisten with scarlet red metallic polish that Amanda had applied painted them. The polish matched her scarlet lipstick that touched up on her lips. Amanda grabbed the keys to her fathers sports car. It was only driven on special occasion by her father, but now this was a special occasion wasn’t it and dad would only be mad for a little while. All she would have to do was whine and shed a few tears and he would forgive his angel. Opening the door to the garage, Carrie saw something she had only seen in the movies, a DeLorean sports car. Amanda pushed a button on the key and the gull doors opened for entrance. “Your carriage my Cinderella and it would turn into a pumpkin at midnight,” Amanda spoke in her sexiest tone. Let me show you how a lady enters this car, slide her leg into the drivers compartment, careful not expose herself, and quickly brought in the leg. Anyone watching would have seen her rhinestone studded black and red garter on her left leg.
“Now its your turn and try to keep the show at a minimum, remember getting out is the opposite of getting in, the trick is to do it quickly but ladylike.” Amanda said with authority. Carrie lifted her left leg over the bottom of the door and swung around and brought in the other into the car. She done so with just a quick peep of the tights covered thigh. “Thank god for the tights,” Carrie thought to herself.
The trip to Long Island went like a flash. This could have been because Amanda was literally flying down the Interstate. Twice they passed State Police that had stopped other cars, but as she fly by they made no attempt to stop her. The DeLorean had a reputation among patrolmen that as long as you weren’t weaving they weren’t going to chase you, most of had families waiting at home. While Amanda was getting ready Carrie had looked up the club and printed directions on how to get there, since Amanda was familiar with Long Island, they arrived without a hitch. The parking attendants opened the door and help the girls out of the car, with Amanda being careful of not providing too much of a show. Entering the club, Carrie could she that some were drinking and some weren’t. The club was filled with a lot of cute guys. Amanda looked surprised when the waiter arrived with two glasses of champagne.
The gentlemen at the table to the left of you sent you these with their complements. Anything that you order will be on them, just let me know when you need something.
Carrie took a sip champagne and could tell that it was expensive. She thought to herself, “how far should I take this, what will he do if he finds out that I am a boy with fake breasts and nothing to enter except the backdoor.” This could be trouble and dangerous for both of us. Carrie looked at Amanda and pointed to the ladies room. Amanda shook her head and acknowledge Carrie and they both picked up their purse and head in that direction. Entering the door Carrie took out of a pick and used it on her hair. “Amanda are you planning on having sex with one of those guys tonight,” Carried asked. “That depends on if I getting drunk enough on their money and if they ask,” Amanda responded. “ In addition she added, “how about you are ready to do a little pole sitting.” Remember what I said, “Take this only as far as you feel comfortable.” She added, “Just remember that red usually means no bed, and oral is better than anal.” That is the secret all mothers tell their daughters when they reach the age of consent. Take it from me oral is not that bad. “Now lets go introduce ourselves to those young gorgeous and rich hunks before some sleazy bitch beat us to them.
Amanda walked over to the table where they were sitting, followed by Carrie. In sultriest voice she whisper if these seats were taken into the ear of the blonde haired one. Both of them stood up and helped the girls with their chairs. When the band started playing a slow song, the blonde haired guy asked Amanda if she would join him in a dance. She nodded and they both went and danced with Amanda placing her head on his shoulder and her body close to his. Even when the band started playing a fast dance they continued dancing, on the next slow dance.
Carrie looked at her girlfriend Amanda who began to kiss her dance partner and rub him with her body.
When song ended both returned to the table and Amanda introduced her partner to Carrie. “Carrie this is Bill and his quiet friend over there is Dan. They both worked at the same brokerage firm in the city. Bill and Dan are roommates and I explained that you are male but in the process of transitioning to female. Bill has invited us for drinks at his suite in the Trump Tower, after we get something to eat and their favorite restaurant. Dan also knows that he can go only as far as you let him. Are you ready to party with this gorgeous hunks?
Carrie looked at Amanda, who seemed at ease with the guys around them. “She believes that they are sincere and only wants what every woman wants out of a night on the town, sexual gratification. Like she said oral sex is not something to fear and even could be enjoyable if both parties appreciate it, “ Carrie thought. “If I want to become a sexy hottie then I have to be prepared to play the game, and remember what Amanda that oral was always better than anal.” Ok I’m game if you guys are, Carrie said snuggling up to Dan, who promptly slipped his arm around here neck. Remember when you transition I want you looked me up and I will make you know what a real man is, deal. “It’s a deal if some hottie hasn’t already claimed you,” Carrie said with a smile.
What about my car it is a classic, expensive and belongs to my dad, Amanda questioned her escort. What kind of car is it, Dan asked. “A numbered DeLorean and according my dad it is priceless, all I know is that it is insured by Lloyd’s of London. Bill left the group and spoke with the concierge and returned. “The gentlemen in charge of guest relations told they are insured for a million dollar in liability and can deliver the car to garage at the Towers. It will be there whenever you are ready to leave. I s that satisfactory Amanda?” Dan said. “I just got one question, Dan when do we eat I am famished,” Amanda said. The limosine awaits, shall we go, Dan quipped. Carrie looked at Amanda and then Dan and said, So what’s taking everybody let go to this fancy restaurant that is open at two and munch out.”
Comments
Read and Please Comment
LoriMichelleOkc
This is the first and second chapters of what with your help will someday be a book. I encourage you the read it with a critical eye and please make suggestions. Just like most early attempts it is in rough form and needs your help to polish it and make make it better. I apologize for some errors that I might have missed on sentences that may be too long. All I ask is the you judge it with the understanding that I seek a formula which will capture the readers attention and make them think. Transgendered movies and books are becoming mainstream and read not only by those who identify themselves as transgender but those who are trying learn and understand us. If this book when finished makes a person who doesn't understand why are like we are begin to reexamine their feelings toward those transgendered then my book will have accomplished what I wanted it to. And perhaps the next person they come into contact will be treated as a human being that is just a little different, but still a person worth getting to know.
LoriMichelleOkc
The art of writing is like sex...
You must build tension, in the story, slowly to make things interesting before the release.
Good writing isn't about all the correct spelling and grammar, those things can be fixed by editors and such. Good writing is about taking hold of the reader's mind and wringing the reader's motions with pictures painted by words on a page.
If you want to learn to write well, READ, read and read some more. Look for stories that other readers have marked as 'well written', read those and ANALYZE them to find out WHY they are so good. Then try to use the methods that you learned from those stories with your own stories.
Sure proper grammar and spelling are important in the final copy. WHY? Because they show RESPECT for the reader. To expect someone to read what one has written one should post the most perfect copy possible. Just as in a restaurant one EXPECTS to have the food presented nicely, rather than slopped onto the table in a mess. There are a number of people willing to help, but as far as I know they all want the original writer to put in effort too.
I don't know if this is any use to you, but those are some of my thoughts on writing.
with love,
Hope
with love,
Hope
Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.
Creating a memorable story
Hi Lori,
You wrote:
> I seek a formula which will capture the readers attention and make them think.
Can I take from this that you want people to remember your story for the message it contains, rather than the style?
I say this because an author can usually be remembered for one of two things: either the unusual style of presentation, or the message itself.
For example, when I was in high school, I had a teacher who thought ee cummings was the best poet since Homer. 30+ years later, I can't remember a darned thing that ee wrote - only his cutsy style.
If you want your message to be remembered, then your style has to be absolutely transparent to the reader. Your writing has to flow in such a way that the reader is entirely involved with the imagery you evoke. The reason we have conventions of spelling and grammer, is so that the readers don't have to spend a lot of effort trying to figure out just what the author is trying to convey. Having to stop and sort out "did he just think that, or did he actually say it?" breaks the flow and makes your story less memorable.
Achieving that sort of transparency means you have to master (mistress?) a thorough command of the mechanics of writing. Letters - and the words made from them - are merely symbols to create images in the mind of the reader. For one's writing to be successful, one has to use those symbols in the ways that the readers understand them (otherwise, you would have to append a glossary to every work you published.) Okay, there is an exception: politicians and propagandists deliberately use the ambiguities of a language to exploit misunderstanding and create "plausible deniability". We expect that from them - for everyone else, it's a no-no.
So, as others have written, you need to pay attention to things like multiple speakers in a single paragraph (that forces the mind to stop and sort out who's speaking), questions and statements in a single sentence,
and mis-used words (breath/breathe; there/their/they're; its/it's; et al.)
e.g.: What about my car? It is a classic ...
Be careful with spell checkers - the darned things make too many mistakes. I use mine with "autocorrect" turned off, so I'm advised, at each instance, to make a choice.
> Amanda worked methodically on Carrie's makeover, applied her
makeup as she would soon her /owned/ in a style that was worn
for an evening out. (should be "own," ?)
Punctuation is your friend; learn to use all the types of delimiters available. But be especially sparing with your use of ellipses (...) - not something that you've had a particular problem with, so far - overuse makes your characters sound like they're perpetually out-of-breath.
Engage an editor or proof-reader. Another pair of eyes is priceless in finding all the things you thought you didn't write. Go ahead, ask me how I know.
Best Wishes,
Deni
I Will Give You my 2 cents
.. and I am quite sure I will get my head bitten off. Your choice of wording for the storytelling is causing a distancing within myself from the story as I read it. Its like a dispassionate 3rd person view and the wording feels like its somehow devoid of life. Emotions and descriptive narrating the feelings of the characters give any story life. As points in example, look for Admiral Krunch's series Christina Chase or JustMe's Leeway series. I am not saying you should copy the style. I am saying, look at their stories, then look back at your words and see the difference in how the words portray the character's mood, stance, thought, and actions. Pick that up and you will have come a long way with writing.
I do suggest for thoughts to use a different form of grammatical idiocon such as italics, brackets, bold print... something to let us the readers know its thinking going on :)
Another point too, is you seemed to cram events together within the story. Space them out and give the characters breathing room. Let them play and describe how they feel or think. Half the fun of reading is finding out how the characters think, speak and act. We need that phrasing prevalent so we can feel and connect with what you write.
Sentence spacing: character's speaking, and narrative need spacial separation to help make things clearer for the reader. The jumbling of speech within narrative is not always a good idea. Again, the examples from above will illustrate my point. This is after all a learning exercise for you, and I feel, even though this is the worst way way to do it, that bluntly pointing out the areas to improve upon will aim you in the right direction rather than having all of us beat around the bush and you guess, get it wrong, and stay frustrated. I would like for you to get it right :)
If you can fix up a story having worked upon it - I think there are several of us here that can help proof your story for you and make it shine more. Some authors don't mind helping others. But what you write should be in a pretty good written format anyways so practicing always helps.
Please view all that I said as positive constructive criticism. I mean it no other way. And no one else was telling you.
*hugs*
Sephrena Lynn Miller
Just wanted to add my thoughts to your story
Just to add to what the others have said.
One important thing you have to do whenever you write a story is to re-read it. Put a little distance time-wise between finishing the writing and re-reading. This makes catching left out words, extra words, and just plain wrong words a lot easier. If you can, find someone to read the story before you post it.
Always remember to use a new paragraph each time a different character speaks. Convention says to never have more than one person speak in one paragraph. Be sure to put double quotes around dialog. There were a lot of places in your story where people were talking, but there were no quotes and dialog from different speakers running together. Be sure to attribute the speaker. Sometimes it was hard to know who was talking. You don't have to attribute the speaker on every line of dialog, but don't go more than 3 or 4 exchanges to avoid confusing the reader.
Pay attention to tense! I make this mistake myself since the story seems so immediate in my head that I'll write in present tense. Usually I'll catch it before I finish the paragraph, but sometimes I don't catch it until the re-reading.
If possible, take a class on creative writing.
Melanie