Sarah Carerra - 2.20 - Beach Party

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sc2.jpg I smiled when I stepped into my own closet to get ready for the day. No glam outfits, no wigs, no Sarah for the whole weekend. I smiled at the opportunity to just be myself.

Sarah Carerra
Chapter 2.20 - Beach Party
by Megan Campbell
Copyright  ©2010 Megan Campbell
Released: December 13, 2010

Editor Note: The images used for this story were purchased and used under royalty-free license* from Istockphoto.com . ~Sephrena
Author Note: Please email me at AngelJediGirl (at) gmail (dot) com before posting this story to any other site. Posting to a pay site is prohibited.

Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.

*  *  *

Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley

Chapter 2.20 - Beach Party

I was happy when I awakened Saturday morning. The previous afternoon and evening had been boring because I had no friend to hang out with. I thought about driving down to the mall myself, but I couldn't muster the desire to shop alone. I spent most of the day playing with my Jive and watching TV with Austin. My boredom was definitely a step down from all the Sarah Carerra appointments I'd had throughout the week, but I needed the break.

I smiled when I stepped into my own closet to get ready for the day. No glam outfits, no wigs, no Sarah for the whole weekend. I smiled at the opportunity to just be myself.

We were heading up to Gran’s and Grandaddy's house just after lunch to spend time with the rest of the family. That meant that I had time to see my therapist Mary this morning.

Once I was dressed and had eaten breakfast, I drove my car to her office. She was waiting for me as I stepped into her reception area, and I was ushered quickly into her office.

We spent most of the session talking about one thing: Ethan. The events of yesterday had shown me just how big the rift in our friendship was. Mary was always a good person to vent to, and today had been no exception. She let me rant and rave for a few minutes before she turned the conversation to what I could do to improve our relationship. In essence, the only thing I could really do was to give him time.

Like me, Mary thought that Ethan still wanted to be my friend. But I had changed so drastically over the summer that he didn't know how to relate to me anymore. Until he figured that out, I was going to have to give him some space. The last thing I would want to do is get pushy and drive him away.

I left Mary's office much happier than I had arrived. I had reconciled myself to the changes I had gone through. I knew deep down inside who I was. But all of this had probably come as a shock to Ethan. He was still trying to come to terms with my new identity.

When I arrived back home, I was more than happy to start getting ready for a day at the beach. I put on my new bathing suit before covering myself with a light sun dress and then I grabbed a towel, my suntan lotion, and a few other things that I would need and placed them in my beach bag. Then I headed to the kitchen to eat lunch.

Everyone else was already sitting at the table eating a sandwich, and I smiled when Mom pointed to an empty seat that already had a plate sitting there.

"Are you ready to go?" she asked me while I sat down.

I nodded as I ate my sandwich. It was nice to sit down and eat lunch with my family. The last couple of weeks had been so busy with Sarah that by the time I got home I'd be so tired that I'd head for bed or mumble my way through dinner. But today we got a chance to talk and reconnect a bit before we piled into Dad's car and headed for Grandaddy's house.

I'd told Josh Holliday earlier this summer that Sarah Carerra lived in Malibu. I really liked the area and I'd love to live out there. Of course, if I had a house like my grandparents, I'd like it anywhere.

As we pulled up to their beach-front property, I noticed that most of the family had already arrived. Aunt Judy's van was there, so I knew I at least had Katy to hang out with.

Mom had, of course, made some food for the family to munch on during the afternoon. Unlike Aunt Judy's party, I was thrown into service carrying the food inside with Mom while I watched Dad and Austin walk around the side of the house to the beach beyond.

I obediently carried my pan of brownies through the house to the kitchen with my mom leading the way. There were a few family members in the front room watching TV, but it looked like the majority of them were already out back. But there were plenty of women in the kitchen talking and making some snacks.

"Hi, Linda," Aunt Judy said when she saw my mom enter the room. When she saw me, she smiled even wider. "Hi, Megan. How are you feeling?"

Most of my family were aware that I'd had surgery, and I believed most of them even knew what that surgery entailed. I had talked to many of them when they called or had visited after I left the hospital, but this was the first time I would see and talk to most of them since Aunt Judy's party.

"Hi, Aunt Judy," I replied with a smile while I placed the pan of brownies on the counter. "I'm doing really well. It's been a tough few weeks, but I'm pretty much fully recovered now."

I knew that Aunt Judy had been asking about more than just my surgery. She was one of the few extended family members on Mom's side who knew I was Sarah Carerra. I also knew that she had seen the press conference, and I knew Mom would have confided in her closest sister with what I was going through. Aunt Judy nodded in thanks that I had answered her unasked question. There were too many people in the kitchen who didn't know about my alternate identity to talk openly.

"Where's Katy?" I asked my aunt. I already knew that I would be spending most of the afternoon with her.

"I think she is changing in one of the bedrooms," her mom told me. I nodded and then started toward the hallway to find her.

"Katy?" I called when I reached the vicinity of the many guest rooms that were in Grandaddy's house.

"In here," came a muffled response. I was fairly certain I knew which room she was in and opened the door.

"Close the door!" she screamed at me. Obviously, she hadn't expected me to come in.

"Sorry," I said and quickly stepped into the room and closed the door to hide her nakedness from anyone else who might have been walking down the hall. I turned back to her. She was staring at me like she couldn't believe I was standing there. At that moment I realized that despite the fact I knew I was female it was still a new concept for most of my family.

It took Katy a moment, but she finally seemed to regain her composure and realize that I was just as female as she was. I was nearly certain that she knew about the surgery, at least. "Sorry," I said again.

"No, it's my fault," she said while dropping her arms from where she was covering herself and reached for the top of her bathing suit. "I guess I'm still getting used to the new you."

"I understand," I replied. It hurt to have my past slam me like it just had, but it was something that would take time for my family to get over.

I placed my beach tote on the bed and started pulling my dress off to help her feel more comfortable. By the time I had the dress off and laid it out on the bed, Katy had finished pulling on her top and was staring at me.

"I guess I had no reason to worry, huh?" she asked me with a slight giggle. I laughed back at her.

"No, you didn't. I've got everything you have now."

"I can't believe you're really a girl," she stated. "I mean, after all these years, I can't believe it!"

"I know," I replied while pulling out some suntan lotion. "Even I never realized it."

I squirted a bunch of the lotion into my hand and then held the bottle out for Katy. She smiled and took it from me.

"Where did you get that bikini?" she asked me while squirting some of the lotion into her own hand and then dropping the bottle on the bed.

"Bloomies," I replied while spreading the lotion around my body. She choked for a second before she could speak again.

"Are you serious?" she exclaimed. I smiled. I knew it was a good idea to get Julia involved in getting me a new bathing suit.

"Yeah," I replied matter-of-factly. I knew that my tone would make her jealous.

"You are so lucky," was her only reply. She stared at me some more while we finished applying the lotion. I could only smile back.

"Come on," Katy said when we were done. "I want you to freak my brother out."

I laughed again as I grabbed my bag and followed her to the door. Derek, Katy's brother, was a year older than me. Until I had started living as Megan, we had always hung out together when the family got together. But he hadn't taken the changes in my life too well. He would definitely freak when he saw me.

We stepped out into the hallway laughing together only to find my grandmother walking our way. She looked shocked when she saw us.

"Hi, Gran," I said and Katy followed suit.

"Hi, girls," Gran finally managed. "You two look beautiful."

I felt myself blushing at her words. Gran had been one of the most supportive family members in my life. Learning who I truly was hadn't changed that at all. She walked up to me and gave me a hug before doing the same to Katy.

"You two go have some fun," she told us before continuing down the hall toward her room. We continued our own journey back toward the kitchen and the door to the beach.

Many of the women were still in the kitchen when we entered. The conversation seemed to stop when they saw me, but nobody said anything as we walked through and into the dining room and out the sliding glass door that led to a small back yard and the gate that led onto the beach. I knew they would be bombarding my mom with questions, and I was more than grateful to have her answer them instead of me.

Perfect beach weather greeted us outside. It wasn't too hot today, and there was a small breeze that cooled off my skin as we walked out into the sand toward some of the lounge chairs that had been moved from Grandaddy's backyard out onto the beach.

"Hi, Tracy," I said when I set my bag down on one of lounge chairs closest to the house, and next to her. She looked up from where she had been sunbathing. Heather was asleep in her car seat in the shade of a small umbrella next to her.

"Hi, Megan," she replied as her eyes scanned my body. "I guess you weren't lying at lunch the other day, huh?"

"No," I laughed lightly. "I definitely wasn't."

I pulled my towel out of my beach bag and started spreading it out on the lounge chair. I saw Derek and Kyle, one of my other cousins, out in the water. They hadn't noticed me yet.

"Don't you just love her bathing suit?" Katy asked Tracy. That elicited another look at me from our older cousin. "She got it at Bloomingdales!"

Tracy raised her eyebrows at me. I laughed again. She must have known that I was trying to make an impression.

"I guess all that babysitting paid off, huh?" I said. That got Tracy laughing and a confused look appeared on Katy's face.

I wasn't quite sure how to explain our inside joke to Katy, but I was saved from having to try by a loud wolf whistle from behind me. I had been standing with my back to the water as I smoothed my towel out on the lounge chair, but I turned around to see what was going on.

Both Derek and Kyle were walking toward us. It was Derek who probably had whistled. Unfortunately, as he got a glimpse of my face, his expression changed. I expected him to be angry with me, like he had been at Aunt Judy's party. Instead, he looked like he was going to be sick. Then he promptly vomited all over the beach.

Katy, Tracy, and I all made the appropriate disgusted sounds to accompany how we were feeling, but I also felt a pang of sadness that I had the ability to disgust my cousin that easily just by him seeing me. It was quite obvious that he hadn't recognized me. I knew how different I looked in my bikini. He must have had some strong feelings of lust to elicit a reaction like that to finding out he was staring at his cousin.

Kyle seemed to have a similar reaction. He didn't throw up, but he looked slightly forlorn at me before his face scrunched up in disgust too. Kyle had shown a definite attraction to me the last time I had seen him, and it looked like he still harbored some of those feelings.

"Are you okay?" I asked Derek while taking a step forward. I didn't want to get anywhere near what he had expelled, but I also didn't want to see him suffer at all. He was a good kid, even if some of his attitudes needed adjusting.

"Get away from me, you freak!" he screamed before he started to dry heave again. I instinctively took a step backward. His yelling attracted the attention of most of the other family members lounging around on the beach or in the water, and I saw both his dad and mine rushing over to where we were.

"Derek!" Uncle John exclaimed when he got closer. "What happened?"

Derek was still trying to regain his composure, so his sister answered for him.

"I think Derek thought that Megan was one of my friends," Katy said. "He didn't take it too well when he found out who she really was." She pointed to the puddle on the ground, and I saw her dad grimace when he realized what it was.

"Go get cleaned up," Uncle John told Derek. He clearly was displeased at his son's reaction. "I'll take care of this."

I watched as Derek nodded before walking past me toward the house. Kyle wasn't far behind him.

"Are you okay?" Uncle John asked me next. I was surprised to hear such caring in his voice. I nodded silently to him, and he headed toward the house too.

Tracy was the first one to laugh. Katy and I weren't far behind. Even Dad was laughing and shaking his head. He caught my eyes with his own, and I could see the frustration that was there.

"I'm okay, Dad," I said. I knew he was worried about how my cousin's reaction had affected me. I wasn't pleased at Derek's inability to come to terms with what had happened to me, but I didn't take it personally. I knew that not everyone was going to accept me as easily as most of them had. This was the exact reason why I was scared to go back to school this fall.

Dad looked at me for a few moments, trying to determine if I was telling him the truth. I smiled at him, which seemed to help him make up his mind. "Okay, Princess," he replied. Then he too headed for the house.

I sighed and collapsed onto the lounge chair. This spot wasn't nearly as nice as it had been a few minutes ago, but I really didn't have the energy to move.

"Did that freak him out enough for you?" I asked Katy, causing her to burst into laughter again. We sat there for a few minutes laughing over Derek's reaction. Uncle John came back out with a shovel and a bucket and scooped up the contaminated sand before heading back toward the house, probably to dump it into the garbage. A few of my other female cousins came to where we were sitting to say hi and find out what had happened.

By the time we had finished recounting Derek's escapades, it became obvious to me that I had been accepted into their fold. If any of them had reservations about me beforehand, I think their seeing me in a bikini was enough to convince them that I truly was a member of the fairer side of the family. I learned more about some of my cousins while we talked than I had in my entire lifetime.

At least most of Mom's family accepted me for who I truly was.

*  *  *

The rest of the afternoon and evening went a lot better. Derek and Kyle avoided me, and I was happy to avoid them. I spent some time in the water, and I also spent a lot of time hanging out with the other girls while we sunbathed or talked. This was a whole different side to the family that I wasn't used to experiencing, but almost immediately I felt more involved with them than I ever had with the guys earlier in my life.

By the time we were ready to go home, I had almost forgotten how bad Derek had made me feel. I believed that Derek was experiencing much of what Ethan was trying to come to terms with. He just had a lower level of tolerance to my changes. I did not know what, if anything, I could do to help alleviate the anger and disgust that Derek felt when he was around me, but I knew I'd have to do something if I was going to remain a member of this family. And that was pretty much a given.

When I went back inside to get my dress after Mom had told me we were getting ready to go, I met Derek in the hallway. He was coming out of the bathroom while I was heading for the spare bedroom that Katy and I had changed in.

"Hi," I said, hoping that he wouldn't get angry again.

"Hi," he said back. I was surprised to see that he didn't seem quite so angry or disgusted with me. He didn't try to get past me, instead standing there waiting for me to say something.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" I asked him, hoping the answer would be yes.

He sighed, but nodded his head. I didn't know what had changed since our encounter on the beach, but something definitely had occurred. I pointed to the room where my dress was, and he nodded before following me inside. I figured that standing there in my bikini wouldn't help this discussion, so I quickly grabbed the dress and threw it over my head. When I turned back to the door, I found him sitting on the chair just inside the room. I sat down on the bed.

"I'm sorry, Derek," I started. "I know that this isn't easy for you. But this is who I am now. We're too good of friends to fight like this."

He sighed again. It was obvious that he didn't want to have this conversation, but he seemed to realize that we needed to have it. "I know," he said. "My dad made that clear earlier this afternoon."

So someone had talked to him already. Whatever Uncle John had told him, it must have helped. I never thought that he would be sitting this close to me without being disgusted.

"What I can't understand," Derek continued. "Is why you let this happen, Brett! You're a boy! How can you all of a sudden be okay with being a girl?"

I winced at his use of my old name! That name didn't describe me anymore. It felt as foreign to me as if someone had told me my name was Rumpelstiltskin. But his words led me to understand part of what he was feeling.

"How much do you know about what happened to me?" I asked him. I had a feeling part of the problem was that he didn't have all of the information.

"I know that you feel like you are supposed to be a girl for some reason," he replied. Then he pointed down toward my legs. "And I know that you've had the...the surgery." He started to blush at his answer. "I just don't know why you feel that way. What could make you think that you should be a girl?"

I looked up at his face. There was still a slight look of disgust in there, but I could see the cousin I had grown up playing with now. However, most of what I saw was confusion.

"Derek," I said and made sure that he was looking me in the eyes. "I feel like I'm supposed to be a girl because I am a girl." He started to protest, but I raised my hand and he stopped to let me finish. "I've been a girl ever since I was born. The accident I had when I was 10, that didn't make me a girl. It didn't take away from me a part of what made me a boy, either. I have all the..." I started blushing now. "All of the insides that a girl has. I've always had them. What I had on the outside before wasn't real. The doctors don't know why I looked like a boy, but down at the genetic level, I have two X chromosomes."

At first he looked at me with a sneer of disgust while he digested that information. Then a light started to shine on his face. He had never been told the true extent of my condition. Learning the truth seemed to give him some of the understanding that he had been looking for.

"You're a real girl?" he finally asked.

I nodded at him. "I am. This may sound gross, but I've already had one period, and someday I'll likely become pregnant and have a family of my own."

His disgust grew immediately as I described my future, but I knew it would help to hammer home my point.

"Megan, are you ready to go?" I heard my dad call from down the hall.

"I'll be right there," I yelled back. I looked over at Derek. "Are you okay?" I asked.

He nodded. I knew that he had a lot to think about now, but I hoped that he would understand why I was doing this. I hoped that he would finally see me for who I really was.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I asked him. He nodded again. I smiled at him as I stood up and grabbed my beach bag. We didn't say anything else to each other as I walked out of the room, but I knew I had done the right thing.

He smiled back at me.

*  *  *

Chapter 21 - Independent Women
Coming Soon...

*  *  *

A Message from the Author
I wanted to take a moment and thank everyone who reads this story. Last week certainly proved that there are a lot of you, and I feel blessed to have the opportunity to provide a story that you all can enjoy. I appreciate you whether you post a comment or not. I appreciate you whether you hit the kudos button or not.

Without an audience, there isn't a reason to write. While I do enjoy the stories myself and would probably write even if I was my only audience, having the rest of you read the story spurs me on to even greater things and faster writing. I couldn't do this without you.

Sincerely,
Megan Campbell



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