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Editor Note: The images used for this story were purchased and used under royalty-free license* from iStockphoto.com . ~Sephrena
Author Note: Please email me at AngelJediGirl (at) gmail (dot) com before posting this story to any other site. Posting to a pay site is prohibited.

Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.

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Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley

Chapter 2.46 - On the Road Again

I pushed thoughts of school out of my mind Saturday morning. It was still two and a half weeks until school started, and I had much more important things to worry about. Tomorrow, we would be leaving home for two weeks, and I had four concerts to perform before I even had to step foot into the school. I could worry about Chorus and the concert I'd be performing later.

Instead, I enjoyed Mary’s beaming smile when she saw that I was carrying a Carerra Bear with me into her office. She had really appreciated that I gave one to each of her daughters, and I was happy to present her with one of her own. I knew she would keep it in her office, and I knew that she'd have some patients who would really enjoy seeing it.

Our meeting was subdued. I still loved talking to Mary, but it had become apparent to both of us that the main reason why I had been seeing her for was no longer a major issue in my life. Several weeks ago I had made the decision to be Megan for the rest of my life, and I was adjusting to that well. She'd helped me with both some of the anxiety I'd felt over my new career and the boys in my life.

With some sadness we had to reschedule my appointments for every two weeks instead of every week. Talking with her was very therapeutic, and I didn't want to stop seeing her completely, especially with school starting in a couple of weeks. But I wouldn't be able to make my regularly scheduled appointments because I had concerts every Saturday for the next two months.

I owed Mary a lot. I wouldn't be the person I was today without her. I knew that she wasn't gone from my life, but it still hurt as I walked out of her office and climbed into my car for the drive back home.

I continued to mope at home for a while before it was time to get ready for the party that Amy had set up with the band and their families. I didn't fully come out of my funk until Dad and I pulled up to the building where Amy had rented a room.

I was fashionably late, of course, when I walked in the door. The party was already in full swing. There were a couple of ping-pong and pool tables in one corner, already seeing a lot of use. A small area with a couple of TVs occupied most of the younger kids who were there. A nice catered late lunch was set up in a third area with a number of tables and seats where people could mingle while they ate.

But the highlight of the room clearly was the small stage where the band's equipment was set up. I smiled when I saw my white microphone right there alongside the equipment.

The fervor that engulfed the room as I walked in was palpable. Many of the younger kids screamed and ran over to me. All of the older patrons were more restrained, but it became apparent quickly that they were just as eager to meet the girl their family members were working with.

After doing the whole autograph thing, the room settled down a bit and the introductions started. As usual, there was no way that I would remember all of their names. But there were certainly a few that I tried my best to remember. Each of the band's and the girls' parents were there, and I knew that I wanted to be able to remember their names. Some of the band's siblings were the same way. Stacy's brothers were a great example.

"Sarah, these are my brothers," Stacy introduced us. "This is David and Goliath."

I couldn't help it - I laughed. David was a small guy, at least compared to his brothers, and Goliath, well, he fit his name too. Stacy was the middle child, and seemed to almost be the mid-point between their sizes too. I hoped that I didn't offend them by laughing, and the humor on their faces seemed to indicate that I hadn't.

"My name is really George," Goliath said, laughing along with me while shaking my hand. "It's an honor to meet you."

"The honor is mine," I told them. "Though I must admit I've been warned about you two. Yet I have no idea why."

"Well," David answered. "George got the looks. I got the brains. Poor Stacy wasn't left with much. He's just jealous."

I laughed again. Certainly that wasn't accurate. All three of the Miller boys were good looking. I also knew that Stacy was brilliant on the drums. If David had the brains, and George had the looks, then Stacy definitely had the musical talent. But I didn't argue with them and instead nodded while moving on to meet more people.

Sophie's parents were as sophisticated as she was. Holly's were outgoing like her. Jason's parents were nice but somewhat distant, while Connor's were the opposite. Both were a surprise because their sons seemed to be the opposite of them.

They were all great people, however. It was nice to know that everyone I worked with had a wonderful family like mine backing them.

Most of the night was spent with the band and I on stage again. We played a mini-concert for the families which was a big hit. A number of the younger kids joined us on the stage, dancing and goofing off. It was a lot of fun, and I knew we would have to do it again sometime.

It had been a good day, and I was so glad that I had such a great group of individuals to work with. I would be nowhere near where I was today without the band, and I wished that there was more I could do to thank them.

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When I walked into church Sunday morning, I knew I was in trouble. Paul and his family were already seated, and he was staring at me as I walked with my own family toward an empty pew. I smiled and waved at him, but that didn't do much to wipe the frown off his face. I sincerely hoped that I hadn't completely lost him.

"I guess Paul didn't take the news very well, did he?" Emily said as she sat down next to me. "He looks upset."

I frowned at her words. She was right, but that didn't mean that I wanted to hear someone tell me that. I still hoped that Paul and I could work this out. But I was leaving today for a two week concert tour, and that gave us very little time to patch things up.

I tried to put the thought out of my head as the services started, but every time I would glance Paul's way, he was looking at me again. He'd then quickly turn away when I caught him, but it didn't take long before he turned back to stare at me.

After church, just after I had stepped outside, I found him waiting for me. The frown that I had seen earlier wasn't present on his face, but I could still see some contention there. At least that seemed like an improvement.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked once we had stepped away from the other people and into the shade of a nearby tree. "I thought we were friends."

Those words hit me hard! I knew that Paul didn't have many friends. I knew that I was the only real friend that he ever spent any time with. And that wasn't much as it was. To have him accuse me of not being his friend was about the worst thing he could say in this situation! It brought tears to my eyes almost immediately.

"It's complicated, Paul," I said, wiping away a tear before I could look him in the eyes. "If people find out, then my normal life will be over. I'm just beginning to learn who I really am as Megan. I don't want that taken away from me before I even get the chance to know myself. The more people who know, the more likely it is that someone will let the secret out."

"I would never tell," he said adamantly. "That's what friends do. They keep each other's secrets and protect them. I can protect you, Megan."

I had a sudden impression of Paul standing there, in full knight armor, trying to protect me from a dragon. As vivid as my imagination was, I knew that it wasn't what I wanted. I knew it wasn't what Paul needed.

"Paul--" I started, but was quickly interrupted.

"Why, Megan?" he said, and I could feel the pain in his voice. "Why not me?" he nearly screamed. "You're the most amazing girl I've ever known! I lo--"

"It's not you," I said quickly, stopping him before he could say the words I knew he would regret. "It's me." I cringed inwardly at the horribly clichéd words that I had just spoken to him. I saw his shoulders sag and his body deflate. He turned to flee from me once again.

I grabbed his wrist with both hands and held on tightly, preventing him from escaping. He looked back at me, and I could see tears streaming from his eyes.

"Paul," I started again, and he tugged against me, trying to get away once again. "Like I just said, I'm trying to learn who I am right now. I'm not ready for a boyfriend. I can't be anybody's girlfriend right now. I just can't!"

He stopped pulling against my hands, taking in what I had said. It was the truth. I'd spent all summer as Sarah, and I still needed to learn who Megan was before I was ready to commit myself to a relationship. The fiasco with Josh had made that abundantly clear to me.

"So you're saying that might change in the future?" The hope in his question caused my heart to ache. Paul was one of the sweetest boys I knew, but I couldn't see myself with him. Yet I knew that I couldn't stomp on that hope. He needed hope like that to continue to move out of his shell. That was why I hadn't told him about Sarah. He was in love with her, and I knew that he needed that. As much as I didn't want him to be thinking about me like that, I knew that I couldn't outright dash his hopes.

"I don't know what the future will hold, Paul," I told him. "I can't promise anything. My life is too hectic and too crazy right now. What I do know is that I want to be your friend. I hope that you want to be mine, too."

He looked into my eyes, and I could see the conflict in them. I knew what he felt about me. I knew what he had felt about Sarah. I knew what he hoped I would say to him today. Yet I also knew that he didn't want to lose me. I hoped that was enough to keep him from running again.

"You still should have told me," he finally said. "I'm your friend."

And there was the smile I had been hoping to see. The smile I had seen many times from a friend. The smile that let me know that we would be okay.

"Perhaps," I conceded. "But I didn't even tell Emily and Ethan at the beginning."

Paul’s eyes bulged and he choked on that thought for a moment. He knew that Emily and Ethan had been my best friends for longer than I had known Paul. He knew how close we were. I knew he was envious of the relationship I had with them, so to hear that I had kept the secret from them seemed to give him some peace.

"If it helps," I added. "Ethan never even recognized me until after I took off the wig. You saw right through my disguise."

That resulted in an even larger smile on his face, and I knew that statement would make him a lot happier.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry for causing so much trouble. I saw the papers."

"The papers aren't a problem," I said. "At least, not for me. I was more worried about what they would do to you. Your picture has been seen all across America, you know."

He sighed, but he didn't deflate like I was afraid he would. I thought that being exposed like he had would cause him to retreat further, but he was surprising me again. Not only had he not withdrawn, but he seemed to be standing up for himself again. He was truly starting to come out of his shell. Instead, he nodded.

"It's scary," he explained. "But it's something I need to do. You are my friend, and I wanted to help you. I talked to a few reporters on the phone when they called our house, and I told them it was a misunderstanding. I told them we were friends, and that I had overreacted."

He had a huge smile on his face as he beamed at his accomplishment. I stood there, dumbstruck! Was this the same person whom I had to coax into even talking to me when we were first paired up as lab partners? Was this the same person who was terrified to talk to me on yearbook day? I didn't know what to think anymore! He was growing so fast that I almost didn't recognize him.

"Thank you," I finally managed to say. "I don't even recognize you anymore! I can't believe you talked to them!"

He started laughing, and it wasn't long before I joined in with him. Then I did something that I hoped didn't hurt our relationship like it had with Ethan.

I hugged him.

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Two hours later, I was contentedly resting on the couch in my bus as we made our way east. It was going to be a long trip to Indiana, but at least the bus was very comfortable to travel on. Besides, the majority of the trip would happen while we were asleep. We'd be arriving in our hotel late tomorrow night.

On the brighter side, this was the first trip where all of the buses used to carry the people and equipment involved in my tour were travelling together. There were three buses that carried the band, the dancers, and the crew. Only my bus and the tractor-trailer had any markings to let the other vehicles on the road know who I was, but it was still an impressive sight to see.

It was nice to travel with them for a change. On this trip I wasn't going to get to fly from city to city. I would finally experience what the band went through when we travelled. Of course I had a queen size bed to sleep in, and they each had small bunks on their bus, but it was still an exciting adventure.

The only downside to travelling with the full entourage was the fact that they expected Sarah to be around when the convoy made a stop. I wasn't presently wearing the wig, but it was nearby if we stopped for any reason. It removed some of the fun of a cross-country trip with my family, but it was a price I was still willing to pay.

I was laying on the couch with my head in Mom's lap while we listened to the countdown over the bus's radio. Dad and Austin were playing video games on the TV. Every once in a while the peace would be shattered by a honking car, and I would sit up and wave out the window at the fans, knowing that they would only be able to make out a faint silhouette through the dark tint of the bus's windows.

I was very happy when Desdemona's song dropped to #4 this week. I had been worried that the newcomer would overtake 'You Can't Hurt Me', but instead it seemed to be a small flare in the grand fireworks show. CrayZ's song managed to retake the #2 spot, so I wasn't worried about another song rising up for next week. I knew that it could happen, but it seemed less likely. 'You Can't Hurt Me' had now been on top for 4 weeks, and I hoped that the song continued to stay at #1 for a long time to come.

After that, it became more like a road trip as we tried to find things to do to occupy our time as we made our way down the road. We watched TV, played games, read, and Mom even napped. Overall, it wasn't too bad and I knew I had nothing to complain about.

Sleeping on a bus took some getting used to. I was jarred awake a couple of times throughout the night, but not enough to keep from quickly falling asleep again.

Monday was a beautiful day. Blue skies and sunshine followed us from state to state as we drove. But it was when Dad connected his laptop to the Internet for the first time that the day really started to shine.

"Megan!" my dad called from where he was working at the small table in the kitchen area. "Come see this!"

"See what?" I asked him. I had been sitting on the couch again watching TV with Austin. Mom was napping on my bed.

I stood up and walked over to where he was sitting, and slid into the booth with him. His computer screen showed a page about the Video Music Awards nominations. I started to scan through the names, and choked up at what I saw.

The first time I saw my name, I was thrilled. The second time, I was stunned. The other three left me breathless.

"Five?" I asked. I still didn't believe what my eyes were telling me!

"Five!" Dad confirmed. "It appears that the fans really like your video."

I stared at the screen again. Five nominations my first year! That was amazing! My name was listed under Video of the Year, Best Female Video, Best Pop Video, Best Direction in a Video, and Best New Artist. I couldn't believe it! I'd never been nominated for an award before, and now I had been nominated for five of them!

I was glad I was sitting down as I turned back to my dad. "I don't believe it!" I told him.

"You should," he replied firmly. "You're amazing, Megan. That song is amazing. Jonothon wouldn't have been able to create such a great video if it wasn't based on such a wonderful song. I think that there is a good chance that you could win in every one of these categories."

I doubted it, but the thought of attending my first red carpet event where I had a chance to win an award was really exciting. I could feel the rush flowing through me just at the thought.

"There's more," Dad said, bringing me back to earth slightly.

"More? What?" I asked, unsure of what else there could be.

"With all these nominations, I wouldn't be surprised to get a call about having you perform on the show," he told me.

The rush started to build within me again just at the thought of performing on TV once more. I really, really hoped that I got the chance to do so!

I spent the remainder of the day in a daze. Mom congratulated me when she woke up. The band and crew congratulated me when we made a pit stop, and even Emily and Ethan called. There were also tons of emails from fans who hit the email box we'd set up for Sarah Carerra. There was absolutely no way that I could reply to all of them, and I had a whole team of people who usually replied for me, but it was nice to read through some of them and see why I had been nominated. I knew it was a good song, but I had never expected anything like this.

When we finally made it to our hotel late that night, I collapsed into my bed with a contented sigh. Not only did I have the VMAs to look forward to, but I also had a concert to perform tomorrow.

I fell asleep silently thanking Emily and Ethan for dragging me to Johnny's party.

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